Do you know what it is to appear happy on the outside, but to feel crushed on the inside?
For a couple of months, there’s been a deep, deep longing in me. A quiet call to God. A sometimes-scream to God. A desire that I want to be met. A dream I deeply want to happen. Yet, despite my all-out prayers, it felt like God slammed a door in my face say, “No! No! No!” Time passed, and — nothing. Nothing happened. Nothing gave-way. Nada. No way. No how. Dead air.
Many of us have been praying. Some of you have been praying for years for that one thing. Some of you have shed tears and sweat over that person. Some of you have tried to push forward with it anyway. Some of you live in defeat. Doubt. Despair. Rejection because you’re the only one who this is happening to. You now feel alone. Self-reproach creeps up on you.
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick…” (Prov. 13:12)
During church the other day, God opened my eyes to something profound. It shifted my heart: Never would I withhold something from my kid with the intention of hurting them. That’s not what good parents do. The only time I withhold something from a kid is to give them something better in the end. I don’t give them sweets all the time, because I want them to have good health. I say they can’t watch TV, because I desire they do homework so they can have opportunities in life. I don’t allow them to get together with that one friend, because I know that friend would lead them down the wrong road. My end-goal is always — their benefit, joy, growth, life, increase, learning…
If I’m a good mom in that regard, how much more does God say no — for our benefit?
It’s as if He says: No, not this person. I have someone better for you. No, not right now. I am going to blow your mind 1 year later because everything will come together in a way you couldn’t have imagined. No, I am still developing the gifting so you can carry out the blessing.
God’s “No!” in the right now is not our defeat but our coming-blessing.
What do we do in the meantime?
Pray differently. If the prayer you’ve prayed on repeat is hitting a brick wall, try pivoting 2-steps and praying from a different angle. Example: If you’ve been asking for the other person to change, try asking for you to see them through different eyes.
Take some new steps. Rather than trying to knock over this brick wall, try to walk around it. Ask God for different ways he may want you to move. Ask him to show you the actions He wants you to take in the here and now.
Learn. Ask God what you need to grasp from this time period. Delays are divine set-ups to learn. If you ask Him, if you seek Him, if you keep knocking — the door will be opened unto you. Do not despise wisdom that can lead you to the back-door that can ultimately take you to a better place than where you were demanding you go.
Do the same thing — get the same result.
Try a new thing — watch God do something new.
“…but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. (Prov. 13:12)
I want to pray that your every longing is fulfilled because I intimately know how hard it is to wait, to wonder, to hope, to wish, to desire and to deeply long to see something change. I feel your pain, the sadness, the isolation. . .
Prayer: God, waiting is tough. It’s rough. It feels horrible sometimes. I am asking from the bottom of my heart, for every reader, that you bust through the roadblocks, issues, and hardships they face. I am asking that you bring swift-rescue. My hope and desire is that you honor all the new steps toward you (which I truly believe you will) and that wonderful stories pile up — of your faithfulness, your glory and your breakthrough-power from this very blog post. I ask for extraordinary moves by you. You are every answer we need. You are all the direction we crave. You are the love we need to give and to receive to conquer all. Come and do what you do in every single house, for every reader, within every family, for every daughter through this post. I ask you to powerfully move in every situation. I ask you to break down walls, both in us and around us. I ask you to come like the wind and to do a new thing in our life. I ask for abundant trees of life to grow and for longings to be fulfilled. In Jesus’ name. Amen.