Purposeful Faith

When People Accuse You

There is almost nothing worse than being misunderstood.

To bear your heart to someone…to approach things carefully and thoughtfully…to pour out your best…to attempt to do things the right way…and then to be accused of having motives that are entirely different? That hurts.

In the past, when people did this — it infuriated me. They’d say what I did wrong. I’d cross my arms and close my heart. I’d block out what they were saying, thinking, “I know what I did. They’re wrong. I am right.”

Then, after they were done slinging stuff at me, I’d tell them all the reasons they were wrong. I’d make a whole case as to why I had ‘good motives’ in what I did.

Yesterday, a friend, approached me in a similar manner. She guessed the motives of my heart. She was wrong.

But, this time? I just listened to all she had to say. I heard it. I accepted her words. I did not reply with a personal discourse of defense. Silently, I decided, that if Jesus did not reply when face-to-face with accusers, why should I? There is no burden to.

“But Jesus made no reply, not even to a single charge–to the great amazement of the governor.” (Mt. 27:14)

Instead, I listened. Why? Because sometimes we can be blind to what we think we know about ourselves. Because sometimes, there may be a grain of truth hidden within a sea of false accusations.

I wanted to go home and pray. I wanted to hear God’s heart about it.  My goal is not to prove anything to her. I don’t have to say anything. I stand before God.

In my silence, God fights for me. He fights for you too.

“The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” (Ex. 14:14 ESV)


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Kelly, a fun-loving, active and spunky mom of two rambunctious toddlers, spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers and pursuing the Lord with all her heart. Called a "Cheerleader of Faith", Kelly's greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully and unencumbered for the Lord.

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8 CommentsLeave a comment

  • It’s so easy for our defenses to pop up. One time when our church was going through Proverbs, I made a list of all the times that book mentioned listening to rebuke. I accidentally deleted the list, but it made quite an impression. And of course I can always read through it again and make another list. As you say, even when part of the accusation is wrong, there’s often a grain of truth in it. Spurgeon has a quote something to the effect that if someone criticizes us, they don’t know the half of it–there is even more they could criticize if they knew. And that’s a good point that we don’t have to make an answer to that person, unless we need to apologize for something. We can thank them and then take it to the Lord.

  • This kind of interaction hurts so much. When we put ourselves out there in ministry, we risk being misunderstood or, worse, people assuming the worst of us. May God give you wisdom and guidance as you navigate the challenge.

  • This is good advice. We are often tempted to start thinking of a rebuttal before the other person finishes speaking. Regrettably, there is often a piece of truth in what they say if we actually listen. I just wrote a piece on bullying. Didn’t mention listening but did say consider the truth in what they say.

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