I sat there before the person. I knew what I should say, but I couldn’t say it. I had to defend myself. I had to set the record straight. Rather than take the high road and trust God to defend me — I burst out with a reactive come-back! And — boom — the word-bomb landed with its intended effect, blowing up the whole conversation.
Seconds after, I knew I had royally messed up. I did not keep my cool.
Have you ever been there? Have you ever royally messed up? Cheated? Lied? Done something repeatedly that you knew God didn’t want you to do?
Friend, you are not alone.
Even the incredibly holy and wonderfully anointed, biblical-great, Paul said, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” (Romans 7:15)
Ahh! The aggravation of it all! We do what we don’t want to do, so often.
Maybe, like me, you have done something you knew you should not… Maybe you knew how you wanted to talk, but didn’t talk that way… Maybe you wanted to be loved, but ended up speaking differently…
What do we do with that? When strong emotions override our best intentions? When we get so caught up in a moment, we go the wrong way? When other people douse us with the kerosene of our past mistakes? How do we move on?
Paul also said, “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” (Phil. 3:13-14)
How can we effectively move ahead when we are mentally looking behind?
If Paul had to let the past be the past, so do we. Only then can we love others, as we love ourselves (see: Mt. 22:39)
If we are to love ourselves — in order to love others — we must forgive ourselves and release all records of wrongs.
“(Love) is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Cor. 13:5)
What record of wrongs do you have against yourself? Might you consider forgiving yourself as God has forgiven you?
Prayer: Father, I thank you that when you forgive, you move my sins as far as the east is from the west. I thank you that you remember my sins no more. Father, today I give you the whole record of wrongs I have against myself and every accompanying feeling of hatred towards myself that goes with it. I release all that to you. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
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