I don’t like admitting things, do you? It’s as if – if I hide the truth, I’m excused of its guilt. If you don’t see it – it never happened. As if – what happened in Vegas stays in Vegas if no one ever knows.
Or, that’s the lie the enemy tells me. Don’t admit it and you’ll avoid it.
Lies. We always get a sense of our inner truth, don’t we? And if we don’t face it, the face of it still shows up, doesn’t it? As anxiety. Or as not-able-to-place-my-finger-on-it guilt.
Not-facing-things can wreak inner-havoc on one’s emotions if left unchecked.
Today, my husband pointed something out to me. I didn’t want to see it; so I told him his delivery was off. But, it wasn’t him (if I really admit the truth). I didn’t want to come face-to-face with the fact I imperfectly responded. Sometimes, it’s easier to blame than to accept guilt.
I was struck this morning in a similar fashion by my daughter Madison, as she sat and played with a Rubics cube. She wanted to move all the reds to the one side of the cube. But, the more she turned the thing, the more agitated she became.
“I can’t mommy.” She said.
I turned towards her and spoke the truth of the situation, “Madison, it is hard. That game is hard. It’s a hard thing to do that.”
Admitting truth for truth is freedom. After saying this to her, it was as if she received the freedom of knowing that there is patience for her growth. There is room for her learning. It is okay for things to be hard.
I say the same thing to myself. Kelly, change is hard. Growth is hard. Learning is hard. But, God is good. He will be faithful to change me, to grow me and to lead me. I don’t have to work it up on my own. The truth is – the truth will set me free. It points out what God wants to heal in me – and I don’t have to be ashamed of that.
“Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ…” (Eph. 4:15)