I didn’t push the girl’s sheet of paper. I didn’t. She was the one who kept inching her colored sheet over mine and trying to irk me all throughout art class. And despite my best efforts to ignore her, she wouldn’t stop. She did something else annoying too. She kicked me under the table. It was taking everything in me not to respond.
Until, I did. She pushed too far. So I screamed out in the middle of the elementary school classroom, “Stop it.” The girl barked to the teacher that I’d been pushing her sheet. But I hadn’t.
I got in big trouble. The girl sat there unscathed. I sat in the punishment seat. The girl sat there smiling. I sat fuming. The girl sat in victory.
Where was my defender? Who stood up for me? Why didn’t God bring justice? I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
I still ask these questions, even as an adult.
Why? Why did all that happen? Where were you God? Why did I go down those roads? Where were you God? Why did I get hurt like that? Where were you, God?
When I look back and see God’s absence, it makes me believe He was negligent.
But was He?
While horrible stuff happened, it never kept me away from God’s love. While things went wrong, I still lived. While stuff hurt my insides, it never ruined me. While there were some close calls, I often squirmed right past.
Just because we can’t see God work doesn’t mean He isn’t working.
There is so much I can’t see in the moments when I believe He’s not defending me. Like His hands holding things back, the angels He sends on my behalf, and the wisdom He pours down from high to help me understand things. Like the arms wrapping around me when I think I am alone, the heavenly court docket that has no record of my wrongs, and the road he reroutes to make sure I am take care of.
Don’t discount the Protector working in the unseen just because you can’t see Him.
Here I stand today. I may have fallen and felt alone yesterday, but I stand victorious in Christ. I stand wanted and in His love. I stand whole and wholly loved. It looks like God took care of me pretty well. He continues to. He does the same for you.
Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.
***Bloggers, don’t miss it!
Join me, today, as I talk on The Declare Podcast about,
Fighting Fear in Blogging, Writing and Publishing. ***
Loading InLinkz ...
[…] linking up with #RaRaLinkup, Jennifer Dukes Lee, and Holley […]
Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him. (Psalm 37:7) This is a verse that is much harder than it sounds, but I am better than I was because of God’s grace. Knowing that He is always with me brings me comfort and hope. I live with the expectation that whatever I am going through, God will allow it to work out for the good. My trust in Him grows stronger every day because of His unconditional love.
There have been times in my own journey when I’ve wondered why God did not step in and stop the action and set things in a different direction. Thanks for your example of trusting God in the moments in which He is unseen.
Kelly, I can say I have asked these questions too, and many from my childhood were what sowed seeds of doubt. God is faithful and he never let me go.
Thanks for sharing this story, and I am thrilled to click over to the Declare page…
“Don’t discount the Protector working in the unseen just because you can’t see him.” Your words sure ministered to my heart today. Thank you!
[…] Life of Faith, Blogghetti, Timeless Mama, Barbie Swihart, Our Holiday Journey, Meghan Weyerbacher, Purposeful Faith, Teaching What is Good, LouLou Girls, April Harris, Home Stories A to Z, Jaime Wiebel, Trekking […]
Hi Kelly,
Thank you for today’s post. The incident you mentioned is similar to something that happened to me in grade school. The girl at the desk next to mine used to steal things from my desk and always got away with it. One day she stole a very pretty decorated headband that had been a gift from a cousin. When this girl went up to the teacher’s desk I reached in her desk and got my headband back. The girl saw and accused me of stealing. Our daft teacher, if she had her eyes open, should have remembered that it was me who entered the classroom that morning with the pretty headband. Instead she believed the other thief. The teacher left for another school after only one year (no one missed her, apparently she was unfair to a lot of other students). The girl moved away later that summer but returned a couple of years later for third grade. Believe it or not, I was the only one of my classmates who was happy to see her and welcomed her return.
There are always people who do wrong who think they are getting away with something, thank you for the sage reminder and hopeful encouragement that, even though we don’t see things happening doesn’t mean they are not.
Best wishes–
Oh boy! Can I ever relate! There have been times, (PAINFULLY HARD times), when I shook my fist at God yelling, “where were you?” “How could you let this happen?” “I thought you were my defender?” It is difficult when there is real injustice taking place, like in your situation. I have come to the conclusion that He is God, and I am not. If He doesn’t deem it necessary to “vindicate” me, then I shouldn’t either. He is good, still. Always. My heart shall rest in that truth for now. Good words here, Kelly!
I went to school with a few mean girls. They swore, beat each other up, and were supposed to go to the playroom if they got rewarded. They would go hang out in the old prison nearby, not me. That was 5th grade. Their leader wanted to not let me in the restroom one day, God made me brave and I walked on by. She liked to swing girls by their long hair, and mine was long. But even in Christian school, there were a few thieves and pot smokers, pill poppers, while I got in trouble for guess what? Writing stories! And here I am. Father, I pray and plead your blood over children, school should not be a dangerous place. It is no the old days when you get just beat up the bully.
not… the old days, sorry…
[…] RaRa Linkup […]
This touched my soul this morning!!! God is always working even if we can’t see it. Wow! ??? Amen!!! ?❤ thank you for sharing this…
Thanks for this informative blog post with us, Keep it up!! 🙂
So I just read your blog post on learning to trust God. It’s always very interesting how God always seems to send messages through people that usually I don’t even know to send me something he is trying to get me to do. See right now I am probably going through one if not the hardest time in my life that I have ever faced. See without telling you the whole story of my life I will just say this see between the ages of 7 through 16 I was sexually assaulted 5 different times by 8 different people the first time was my father and one was actually a rape by 3 different men. So now because I can’t go on without getting help finally after 50 years I have decided it’s time to finally allow myself to start seeing a counselor to try and deal with this and finally be able to move on with my life and actually live some sort of a normal life and relationship with my husband of 41 years. Sorry so long of a comment but just to let you know that sometimes when are having a emotional and mental breakdown it’s hard to believe or figure out how to trust God when you wander where and why this happened to me and what he wants me learn from this because you see I tried to hide it for so many years but until my son and granddaughter were both abused different times and several years apart. Cause I thought that what I went through was hard enough but it really kinda hit me hard when that happened to them and I couldn’t get over it. Thanks for letting God use this message in my life