Tag - shame

Living for Christ in a Selfie World

March 23, 2015

Contentment, expectations, faith, fear, Freedom

I’ve got something kind of embarrassing to say, something I kind of hate to admit, but I am sharing it today in hopes that God’s truth helps me overcome this annoying habit.

Here goes: I can’t stop making everything about me.

How that person responded – is about me.
My ministry work – is about me.
Someone getting chosen above me – is about me.
My husband’s response – is about me.
My children’s behavior – is about me.
The response of another – is about me.

Can you see where this is going?

Somehow everything centers around – me, myself and I. And even when I say it doesn’t, I lie.

I don’t want to do this, but it is almost like I can’t help myself. We live in a “selfie” world.

We take pictures of ourselves in the moment and all we can think about is how we performed, how we looked and what kind of response we will get. It is almost as if our worth is dependent on “likes”. It is almost like others “comments” are vitally important in our missions.

So, I wonder, how do I really die to self instead of pretending all that matters is myself?

God says: Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence. (Mt. 23:25)

I certainly don’t want to be that dirty Pharisee, but my cup is just the same – dirty on the inside and shiny on the outside. I lure others over with my outer beauty, until they come closer to see what I have inside. Truly, no one wants to be filled by a cup that only pours out black, dirty and tainted water. There is no living water there. Dirty unclean vessels can’t love as Christ would – nor live as he would.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; (Phil. 2:3)

How do I get over myself to dive into God’s will?

Because I am tired of swinging on the pendulum of righteousness – either I swing too far to the left and am completely inadequate and selfish or I swing too far to the right and am completely over-righteous and prideful.

Back and forth I go.

Have you ever felt this way? When we ride this swing, we can never seem to rest in the peace of the Lord. We are always striving to be more, to do more and to give more. Both a guilty shame-filled heart and an overzealous righteous heart both have roots in the “me first” mentality.

When one falls down, the other side lifts higher. Back and forth they go.

Yet, the middle place on the pendulum, the still place, is the place of love, grace, mercy; it is a restful place.

God calls us here.

So, how do we come to this resting place of stillness, shamelessness and surrender?
The place where we are neither self-centered or self-inflated, but simply self-less?

Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. He has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity… (2 Tim. 1:8-9)

Note:
– The power of God saved us.
– The power of God called us.
– The power of God leads us in our holy calling.
– The power of God works not through our works but through his.
– The power of God works as he purposes.
– The power of God bestows grace over grace.

This is the power we walk in. Anything more or anything less than God’s power is just the endless movement of a pendulum that keeps heading in the wrong direction.

It is solely by the power of Christ that we do anything. When we work through his power, his power at work within us makes us selfless, humble and full of grace.

It reminds me of the lyrics of “Turn your Eyes Upon Jesus”:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

We fade, Christ brightens.
We become selfless, he becomes radiant.
He shines, we take the back burner.

Not by the power of our own might, but only by the power of the great God we have in sight.

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Kicking Shame to the Curb

March 13, 2015

purposefulfaith

Contentment, fear, shame

34 Comments

I want to be closer to God, don’t you?

Sometimes, I want to grab all that he is so I can be all that I am. I want to just get over me, be done with my ways, and move straight into his.

But then, shame shows up.

Shame comes to tell me that I am bad.
Unworthy.
Unloved.
Worthless.
Without a plan.
An orphan of God.
Distanced from love.
Unheard.
Unvalued.
Unbelievable in my actions.
(Fill in the blank)

Shame takes us by our hair, drags us to the ground and then beats us up, until all we can see is defeat. It’s the ultimate sucker punch from the devil.

If he can succeed at shaming he can succeed at defaming God.
If he can succeed at shaming, he knows we’ll stop proclaiming.
If he can succeed at shaming, he can make sure we aren’t flaming for Jesus.

I have become more and more aware of this cycle – and I am fighting back, my friend, because life is too short to live laying on the ground with bruises. You can’t get up and serve God when you are always injured.

Because the Sovereign LORD helps me,
I will not be disgraced.
Therefore have I set my face like flint,
and I know I will not be put to shame. (Is. 50:7)

Fighting back shame means 3 things:

1. We allow the Sovereign Lord to help us.
2. We hold fast to the truth that Christ makes us without all shame, without any blemish – essentially “unbruisable” in him. He paid the price to absorb all shame as he took his last breath on the cross.
3. We set our faces like flint.

What? What does it mean to set a face like flint?

flint
noun

a piece of flint used with steel to produce an igniting spark, e.g., in a flintlock gun, or (in modern use) a piece of an alloy used similarly, especially in a cigarette lighter.
a hard type of rock that produces a small piece of burning material (called a spark) when it is hit by steel – Google Dictionary

We, like a rock, keep our face motionless in the face of impending shame. As the devil leans back to deliver his punch of shame, we stay hardened, fearless and impenetrable. We don’t make it easy for him to hit us, because hitting a rock is never comfortable. It’s not normally something you set out to fight.

And, did you catch the result? The result is staggering, my friend. Oh, how I love it – a spark is produced.

A spark of courage.
A spark of hope.
A spark of light.
A spark in our heart.
A spark that brightens the situation.
A spark that paves our way.
A spark of renewal.

This spark does not hold us back from the plan of God, but lights the way for it. This spark lights God’s ways in our heart. It sets us on fire for him.

It sets God’s plans in our hearts, not our insecurities in where we walk.

Today, we walk shameless. Jesus took every last bruise on our behalf, so we don’t have to walk in shame. Now, we walk with the light, the spark, of Christ Jesus that leads us in complete holiness, complete surrender and complete security in him.

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Today I am joining Suzie Eller for her fabulous #livefreeThursday, Susan B. Mead for #DancewithJesus and the Five Minute Friday linkup.

Finally, Know Full Well He Will Keep You

February 6, 2015

purposefulfaith

Contentment, failure, faith, God, guilt

24 Comments

I try, I fail.
I parent, I don’t do a good enough job.
I try to do right with my husband, but I take the wrong approach.
I reverse my car and slam it into my babysitter’s.
I serve another and get anxious in frustration.
I pray to be patient, but I’m impatient with the never-ending tears.
I want to be a good daughter, but feel like I have no time.
I say more of you God, but get distracted by life.

All the time, I feel not good enough, not together enough and not smart enough to do things right.

All the time, I drop the ball in one way or another.

But, under the surface of all my failings, below the layer of trials that lay on me, I have a choice to make.
Under the muck that seeks to keep me stuck in little lies that could lead to my demise, yes, this choice still remains:

Will I believe what God says about me?
Or will I believe what I feel about me?

Because the truth is, my feelings will sink me deeper and deeper into guilt, shame and a feeling of hopelessness, while God’s truth will lift me higher and higher into peace, power and a sense of fullness.

The truth is: God will keep me.

He will keep me in the palm of his hand.
He will keep me from harm.
He will keep his presence in front of me, behind me, above me and below me.
He will keep me in the beauty he displays through the sun, the wind and the waves.
He will keep my foot from slipping.
He will walk me in truth.
He will show me another way when the enemy comes to tempt.
He will guide me by the Spirit.
He will pray for me when I don’t even know how.
He will forgive and throw out every stone of sin I have confessed.
He will never let me go.
He will never forget me.
He will always keep me.
He will prepare a room in heaven for me.
He will comfort me in the meantime.
He will listen to my every prayer.
He will work all things together for good for me, because I love him and am called according to his purpose.
He will always be for me.
He will always advocate for me.
He will help me in my moments of distress.
He will give to me as a father gives to a beloved daughter.
He will be by my side.
He will always know my heart.
He will always know my thoughts.
He will always provide me his truth.

And, he will never pluck me from his hand.
He will never say goodbye to me based on my actions.
He will never ever no-way, no-how, stop loving me.

This is how good my God is!

His words speak like a permanent love letter to my heart.

Because God is who He is. He is the great I AM. If you just ARE, you can never change.

I can change, but he can’t.
I can do a bad thing and feel plucked from his hand, or fall and feel less than or I sin and feel unforgivable, but his character can’t be altered.
I can change how I act, but he is always the same. He is always one ready to forgive, standing right beside me, hand on my shoulder – willing to love.

The question is, “Will I believe it?”
Doesn’t it really come down to faith?

Will I believe he will keep me?

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. (Ps. 139.13-14)

Did you notice this line – “I know that full well”?

Do you know it full well that you are always his, eternally adored and always accepted because you are a child of the living King?

Let’s go from believing by the power of our mind to believing by the depths of our soul.

It will make all the difference in the world – to know full well.

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Linking with #livefreeThursdays and Five Minute Friday.

When Forgiving Yourself is Hard (Linkup)

February 3, 2015

purposefulfaith

Contentment, fear, guilt, Jesus, No Fear

53 Comments

When I heard the bloodcurdling scream, worry welled up in me.
When I saw the agony on her face, anxiety overwhelmed me.
When I analyzed the deep gash across her toe, guilt washed over me.

Could you imagine being the one to cause your baby girl so much pain?
The one to crush an innocent toe into a slamming door.
It was me who did this.

Pain – all I could see was all the pain I caused.
Pain as she got stitches.
Pain as we found out it was broken.
Pain as she looked up at mommy.
Pain as she longingly looked to be saved.
Pain as I saw her tears coming down.
Pain as I noticed her toenail was gone.

I left the hospital with a damaged baby and a bag full of guilt.

How could I?
Why did I?

I knew that I needed to come to terms with this. I knew that Jesus tells us to forgive – ourselves included. I knew that this was an accident – but still…

What do you have for me God?

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

He died for BIG wrongs, BIG mistakes and BIG traumas.
For the ones who, without him,
could never find consolation, reparation or exoneration.

For the ones who, without him, deserve nothing but condemnation.

And, this is me. I am this kind of sinner. Not just in this case, but in so many shameful ways.

Jesus agrees.

He agrees, but he doesn’t cast shame or blame.
He agrees, but doesn’t make me retreat in defeat.
He agrees, but rather than enslave, he saves.

He removes the enslaving power of shame, guilt and regret – and replaces it with love.

A love that is victorious and makes us glorious.
A love that showers compassion, with passion.
A love that doesn’t end, but mends.

Much like me with my daughter:
Jesus cries over our pain.
He so deeply desires to wipe every tear away.

Jesus stands ready to save our day.

And, much like I cried over her trial and her agony, Jesus cries over mine.

But, Christ went to one place I can never go. He went one distance I can never cover. He went to one length that sealed the definition of “love”: He took my place. He stepped in. He absorbed all the wrath, torment and agony that was set aside for me.

He did this so I could be forgiven (and so that we could forgive others).

Who am I to take that away from him?
Who am I to negate the incredible sin load that he suffered?

Who am I to think that the power of my enslaving sin could overcome the power of my life-giving Savior?

When we can’t forgive, we are essentially are saying
that we have more power than the cross of Jesus Christ.

We are saying that our sin is greater than our Savior.
That our actions are more weighty than his.
That our inability to forgive is greater than his ability to love.

Because he forgave, we take eternal forgiveness to the grave. Because he is mighty to save, we are no longer enslaved. Because he rose out of that cave, we can all be brave.

There is no arguing with that.

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Shame in the Bible

November 11, 2014

purposefulfaith

Contentment, fear, guilt, No Fear, shame, Troubles

17 Comments

I messed up again.Guilt hit me like a wrecking ball pounding into a damaged building ready to crumble. It hit me hard and when the shame came – it effectively ruined me. Defeated, crumbled, laying in pain – I hurt. I wondered, what does God say about shame in the bible?

Starting up at the sky, I realize, I lost sight of Christ, what he has called me to do, his unique plan for me, his purposes, his might, his power, his authority.

I lost sight of it all.

I looked at another person and decided God’s blueprint for my life wasn’t as good – wasn’t so possible – after all.

Where did I go wrong? I saw all that I wasn’t. I saw all that she was. And, as I saw all of her – I saw less of me. I saw none of God.

Then, the shame overpowered my guilt. It crushed me because I lacked faith. It left me feeling embarrassed that Miss “Encourage” was “Discouraged” (I am called the “Cheerleader of Faith” after all). It said I am defined by my sin of envy, jealousy and comparison.

My guilt said I messed up – but, my shame said I would always mess up.

Isn’t that how it is with shame? Shame says we are selfish. Shame says we will always steal God’s glory. Shame says we will always fail. Shame says we may as well give up. Shame said we can’t do any good – why try?

Shame tumbled me. It came to thwart God’s plan – to knock me down. Unrecognized, it would have succeeded.

But, as I stared at my wreckage, God got me to thinking…

I got wrecked, because I took my eyes off of Christ.

I got wrecked to divert me from God’s mission.

God has great plans for me.

The Devil wants to wreck anything that brings glory to God above himself.

Jesus didn’t die so I could be condemned; there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

God loves me; he will take the wreckage and reconstruct me as I ask for forgiveness.

We can’t let shame knock us down. We can’t let shame win. Because, you better bet it will try to tell us that we aren’t good, holy or lovable. Shame will come to trap us under the bricks, holding us down so that we can’t accomplish God’s purposes.Shame is one of the devil’s best tools to chisel away at our faith walk.

He has used it since the very first days – days when all was happy and joyful and peaceful in the garden of Eden. He offered sin on a plate – and now we talk about this apple over and over again.

The devil offered, Eve accepted, the world defected.

Sin distanced us from God. In fact, we see shame in the bible, as Adam and Eve hid from God (Genesis 3:8) after they sinned. The were so burdened by shame and so overwhelmed that they didn’t want to stand in front of their glorious maker. They wanted to hide, to go unseen, to cower in fear, to go under the radar, to pretend it didn’t happen. They wanted to avoid God at all costs.

Shame makes us run. It makes us hide.

The devil knows this. He knows if he can get us to move towards sin, he can hit us with his powerful wrecking ball. He has a plan to hit us – and to hit us hard.

Hit them with regret.
Hit them with fear.
Hit them with embarrassment and shame.
Hit them so hard they can’t get up and walk to the foot of the cross.
Hit them so they move away God, not towards repentance.
Hit them so they forget that God forgives.
Hit them so they walk away from believing in God’s grace.
Hit them swiftly and trap them in sin.

What if Adam and Eve ran to God, instead of hiding? What if they called out to Him? Their shame didn’t protect them, or absolve them or benefit them in any way.

…and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:8-9)

The Lord could still see them clear as day. He knew where they were – and what they had done. There is no hiding from God.

And, today, we don’t have to hide because there is no more shame in Christ Jesus. Christ absolved us of all shame, because he endured all shame. Enough. It’s done. It is finished. (John 19:30). Released. Gone. Done. Complete. As believers, we are secure.

God wants us to come to Him – open, vulnerable and ready to receive what he has done.

Reveal your shame, and he will reveal grace. Come to him out of hiding and he will come to you with healing. Run to his arms and confess and he will give you rest.

God’s story of redemption is beautiful. It all circles back to Him. Even when we mess up – it is all about Him. Praise you God.

God loves us.

God calls you from hiding. He has important words to speak to you about shame in the bible:

Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. (Isaiah 1:18)

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus… (Romans 8:1)

As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:12)

…this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. (Phil. 3:13)

For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more. (Hebrews 8:12)

We can’t stand accused when we stand forgiven. Confess sin, accept grace, sin no more and rob the devil of his best tool.