If we rejoice in others sufferings more than we rejoice in their successes, we should examine our hearts.
This Tuesday, I wrote about a tremendously hard moment in my life— when I had a precipitous labor. During this time, I wondered if I was going to make it…
To this post, a woman emailed me stating that my words were “shallow”. How dare I write on something as small as a birth when she had gone through so much more? She expected to be lifted up while my meager trial left her low.
While I empathize with her plight and pain, I just want to call-out something prevalent in our culture: the desire to use others pain to quell ours.
Is this even biblical?
We see it everywhere. It’s why women buy tabloids: to see a celebrity downfall. It’s why people cheer: those in high places are getting taken down. It’s why gossip happens: she thought she was so great.
When people fall, we, for a moment, feel lifted up.
Yet, Christ never told us to get out a measuring stick to compare plights. He never told us to fight about whose pain is more worthy of care. You may have a cancer scare that far surpasses another woman’s struggle with actual cancer. But, who cares? So what…about measuring and comparing?!
Jesus cares about the heart; comparing cares about measuring the height of someone’s flesh.
I believe that this concept of “measuring” is why women feel so afraid to share their struggle. We know that we risk being judged.
The reality is — none of us ever know what it is like to walk another day in someone else’s shoes…
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15)
Jesus knew — pain is real. He wept over Lazarus’ death. He felt agony. He never condemned or dismissed people’s pain. He approached people with love and a heart to heal and help them.
Be wary of using someone else’s misfortune to buoy your emotions. Instead, draw near to success and failure, both, with a heart of love.
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Jami Amerine is a wife, and mother to anywhere from 6-8 children. Jami and her husband Justin are active foster parents and advocates for foster care and adoption. Jami’s Sacred Ground Sticky Floors is fun, inspirational, and filled with utter lunacy with a dash of hope. Jami holds a degree in Family and Consumer Sciences (yes Home Ec.) and can cook you just about anything, but don’t ask her to sew. She also holds a Masters Degree in Education, Counseling, and Human Development. Her blog includes topics on marriage, children, babies, toddlers, learning disabilities, tweens, teens, college kids, adoption, foster care, Jesus, homeschooling, unschooling, dieting, not dieting, dieting again, chronic illness, stupid people, food allergies, and all things real life. You can find her blog at