Tag - Pain

Fighting Back Tough Times

May 27, 2015

Contentment, doubt, failure, faith, guilt

So, I wrote a recent blog post, practically entitled, “The Great Purposeful Faith Hack Attack,” only to be faced with its aftermath yet again. My site has been deeply compromised, injured internally and badly beaten. Poor thing.

But God’s Word hasn’t.

Jesus was badly compromised, injured and beaten, but his words last forever.
His touch, a lifetime.
His promises, forevermore.
His power, ever-flowing.

So, it all doesn’t really matter does it? In so many ways, anything can be stripped down to its core, but what always remains is the name of Jesus.

It is by him, for him and through him that everything is, was and is to come.

That’s it, my friends – it all comes back to him, doesn’t it?

If only I can remember this day by day…
Children stripped of clothes, paint strewn all over furniture. Jesus.
Open and wounded emotions after an argument. Jesus.
A big denial after I outpour my heart. Jesus.
A moment of “Why did I do that?” Jesus.
Unhinged expectations. Jesus.

Worst case scenarios come true. Jesus.
Family scars. Jesus.

Sometimes it takes being beaten down to see Jesus’ enduring love –

his endurance that relieves our defiance.

Like a kid being chased, God endures after us, not to mock us, not to yell at us, not to show us what we did wrong, not to call us old labeled names, but to pour out pure and unadulterated love.

He chases us down as loved children because he cares. He sees us running around like chicken’s with our heads cut off. He sees our childlike ways, but he still loves us.

So much so, he takes our present condition of childhood and raises us up to a condition called eternally secure.

The more we are acquainted with suffering, the more we acquaint our eyes to see like Jesus.

Suffering tenderizes our heart.
It pulverizes our judgements of others.
It demolishes strongholds of fear.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean I have been praying for a miracle, because the alternative is tearing down, all that has been built up.

Sure, there is a time and place to be torn down, but, I have this sneaky feeling that if I can just grab hold of the lesson in the wait, I can steer clear of the lesson in the demolition. You know what I mean?

So, instead, I have been trying to take off the 3D glasses of fear:

The ones that seem to think that contentment revolves around joy, peace and comfort.
The ones that make me think I can charge through barriers God has permitted to stand.
The ones that keep me leashed to ideas that no one will like me.

My only thread line of hope is that I can see God’s simple truth and gentle guidance before me.

Gentle guidance. Because opposing God’s direction is tiring. Running against the wind, depletes me and injures my soul. It leaves me worn on the side of the yellow brick road that I thought led to happiness.

Lord, I can’t help but think, if I can only go with your wind, no matter how face-injuring, skin-drying and emotionally-depleting it may feel, that you will gently guide me right to where I need to be.

Sometimes, there is pain in the moment, but we can trust God’s love endures forever. He is much more concerned with His idea of forever, than our idea of a moment.

Crashing sites, lives, jobs and families are all being worked together for good as we trust God. We can trust that.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Don’t miss Part I – Protect Your Heart from Hackers

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God, Why Did You Lead Me Here?

March 16, 2015

purposefulfaith

expectations, failure, faith, fear, Troubles

14 Comments

I remember a time where I prayed and prayed for direction, only to feel certain that I was being led down a specific road.

I sought direction. I sought God through his word, but when I went down that road, things started going wrong.

While I had prayed God would provide; there was no money.
While I prayed God would make things succeed; there was no success.
While I prayed God would bring me through; it seemed God was stopping me.

With everything going wrong, I was tempted to wonder what was wrong with God. I was tempted to wonder why he had abandoned me to my fears.

Faced with doubts, I nearly embraced them.

What kind of God brings you to a scary, desolate land?

He brought me after I honestly asked, prayed and knocked.
He brought me after I honestly called out.
He brought me after I honestly sought Him.

Why would God guide me into pain? Into suffering?

But, much like me, there was another, who was led into temptation.

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. (Mt. 4:1)

Can you imagine that the Spirit led Jesus into temptation?

That the Spirit led Jesus into a place where he didn’t eat for 40 days, a place where he was “with the wild beasts” (Mark 1:13) and a place where he had to stand up against the ultimate accuser seemingly alone?

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin. (Heb. 4:15)

His identity was questioned.
His authority was scrutinized.
His power was negated.
His trust in the Father was tested.
Yet, he did not sin.

He combatted every lie, with truth. He combatted every temptation with the active Word of God. He fought every blaspheme with courage.

“However, when He, the Spirit of truth has come, He will guide you into all truth …” (John 16:13)

Jesus spoke all truth. Guided by the Spirit, he was a truth breather, a temptation extinguisher and a loved child of his most high King.

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. (Romans 8:14)

He knew his place.

Truth led him to the wilderness – and truth would bring him through.

We are under the authority of our Father, the Spirit and the Son. We are loved. Adored. Led.

But, our power always comes from remembering who is in charge, not who tries to be.
Our power comes from the one who is the definition of good not the tempter of bad.
Our power is found in knowing who is for us, not listening to who is against us.

Jesus’ final words to the devil were, ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’ (Mt. 4:10).

No matter what comes against, despite how “in God’s will” we feel, we are to know our role is to worship God – always. To lift him high- forever. And to trust him – in all things. To serve him – above all.

Because we can trust – if we truly have sought the will of God through the Word of God – that the we have been led to this precise place, for a precise purpose – in order that we may be shaped into Christ’s image with precision.

In this, fears, doubts and sin fall by the wayside.

As we combat temptation, we grow in faith.
As we fight the devil, we submit to God.
As we face our fears, we become fearless.
As stand alone, we seek God and we see him.
As we speak truth, we see the truth.

When we are courageous in the face of fear, bold in the face of fire, we do come out the other side – and we come out more faithful.

The Spirit led us there for a reason.

Did you know that Jesus grew during this time of suffering too?

Even though Jesus was God’s Son, he learned obedience from the things he suffered. (Heb. 5:8)

Make no doubt about it, the Spirit always has a purpose when he leads.

While we can’t always say what it is, or even question why it is, we can know that likely we are being built up through the trials to endure the big purposes the Lord has prepared for us in advance (example: Jesus on the cross).

We are being built up, so we won’t be torn down. We are being built up, to be strong. We are being built up, to endure the fires of life.

The question is – will we trust God or will we allow ourselves to fall into temptation?

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When Facebook Hurts

January 21, 2015

purposefulfaith

Contentment, faith, fear, Freedom

29 Comments

Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt hurt.

I saw the fun.
I saw the laughs.
I saw the friends.
I wasn’t there.
I wasn’t invited.
I was left out.

How do we cope when Facebook hurts you? Because frankly, people open their lives up like books and sometimes we read into things only to feel left behind or insulted.

How do we overcome the laughs we weren’t a part of?
How do we get past the offensive words?
How do we move forward in love, when we feel hurt?
How do we let go of annoyances?

These were all things I struggled with as my heart broke a little.

I guess for me, it wasn’t just this person that hurt me, but it was all the little ways I saw I wasn’t being included.

I felt left out of the pictures, the recap comments and the moments. I saw the smiles. I saw the joy. I saw the fun.

Where was I? How could they leave me out?

The small offenses all rushed over me.

But, then I got to thinking – have I really been pursuing others?

Because, no one is going to invite you into relationship if you aren’t available.
No one is going to welcome you to laugh, if you never welcomed them into your house.
No one is going to remember you, if you let the busyness of your day steal the good intentions of your heart.

I am so busy.

These Facebook pains walk me right up to truth –
the Lord loves relationship.

They also remind me that I can’t control what others do. They can do what they do, but God will always be here to help me through. People will hurt me. They will abandon me. They will drop me at the door. They will write things that offend. They will insult too.

But, we can find refuge in the Lord. We can seek his ways. So can you. Let’s open up to take risks, because we are kept under the safety of his wing – kept close, like a protected child.

Under his protection, he will show us how to act.
He will instruct us in truth.
He will arm us with the right mentality.

He releases us from the power of others’ insulting actions, so we may find freedom in the power of his unending love.

Frankly, we all offended Jesus. We actually offend him daily. We insult, we overlook, we leave him out.

But, does he stop loving us? Does he stop pursuing us? Does he still call us into relationship?

We prompts us to extend grace, just as he has.

So, let’s remember:

1. We are who Christ says we are. Our identity is secure in Christ, not dependent on Facebook.
2. We can’t expect to be pursued when we are not pursuing relationship.
3. People are quick to speak and slow to think. We can be like this too.
4. Jesus shows us unending grace; we can fall into his grace to extend grace.
5. If we can let go of how others act on us, we can grab hold of how Christ wants us to act to others.
6. The more we keep our eyes – and heart – on what is true, noble, upright and of good report, the more peace and joy that will be ours. Offenses lose their power.

The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:31)

Do to others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:31)

It strikes me that we can let go of insults, injury and inadequacies, when we grab hold of truth, God’s truth.

Because, truly, there is only one book that defines us – and it’s not Facebook.

The Gift of God-With-Us

December 18, 2014

purposefulfaith

Christmas, faith, peace, Regular Contributor, Worry

5 Comments

Post by: Angela Parlin

For a couple months, we’ve looked forward to hosting two sisters, who are orphans, in our home this Christmas. We selected clothes for them to wear, rearranged bedrooms, stocked up on groceries, and scheduled outings. We shopped for Christmas gifts, wrapped them all in red and black glittery paper, and hid them in a closet.

It’s been great fun, preparing for Christmas and getting ready to welcome these little ones into our family for a month.

But then, this week happened, the last week before they arrive. You wouldn’t believe how many things went wrong. (As in, not according to plan.) My stomach feels knotted up. I’ve had to remind myself to breathe. I’m having a really hard time slowing down, especially enough to pray.

We’ve known all along that this could be an amazing month–or it could be a very difficult month. But it’s like this news just now caught up to my insides, for the first time. All the concerns, what ifs, and fears floated to the surface.

I want to look forward with faith, to anticipate great things from God. I don’t want to feel so incapable, or worry about details. I don’t want to give fear some big, shouty platform in my life.

But I don’t feel I have much control over my anxiety right now. So last night, I put myself to bed early. But first, I read a chapter of Luke, where an angel tells Mary she’ll give birth to Immanuel (God With Us). And then I fell asleep thinking about something he told her:

The Lord is with you.

We need that reminder, don’t we? Because sometimes, we know it in our heads, but we live as if we’ve completely forgotten.

Today, I’m still fighting anxiety, so I looked up some places where the Bible repeats this truth, The Lord is with you.

I read about Jacob, who dreamed of a stairway between heaven and earth, where the Lord stood and clearly said to him, I am with you. He woke up and realized, The Lord is in this place, and I did not know it. (Genesis 28)

I can relate. Can you? I have not felt the Lord with me this week. I’ve fixed my eyes on my concerns and to-do lists, more than I’ve fixed my eyes on Jesus. But the Lord is in this place, in this week, even when I don’t feel that way.

I read about Moses, when he considered himself unqualified to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. God said, I will be with you (Exodus 3), and then showed Himself to Moses in so many visible and miraculous ways.

I found numerous reminders of God’s nearness in the Psalms. The Lord is near to His children; The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. (34) God is an ever-present help in trouble. (46) The Lord is near to all who call on Him. (145)

I read parts of Isaiah, where the prophet shares these words from the Lord—So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41)

I read about when Jesus arrived in this world, as God-With-Us in the flesh. And then before He left again, He told His followers–Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28)

I could keep going, keep on finding this truth repeated.

The Word of God offers us this beautiful gift—The Lord is with you. It’s a truth we need to remember, and a truth we need to act on.

Whatever your struggle this Christmas, whatever your anxiety, whatever your pain, whatever difficulties you face, please remember this, friend–the Lord is with you. So take your concerns to Him!

God’s Word promises:

He will give you rest.
He will fill you with peace.
He will help you.
He will strengthen you.
He will give you what you need.
He will uphold you.

May we remember, the Lord is with us. Let’s unwrap the gift of God-With-Us this Christmas.

~Angela Parlin

Angela Parlin is a wife and mom to 3 rowdy boys and 1 sweet girl. In addition to spending time with friends and family, she loves to read and write, spend days at the beach, watch romantic comedies, and organize closets. But most of all, she loves Jesus and writes to call attention to the beauty of life in Christ, even when that life collaborates with chaos. Join her at www.angelaparlin.com, So Much Beauty In All This Chaos.

How to Heal a Deep Hurt

December 2, 2014

purposefulfaith

Contentment, rejection, shame, Troubles

3 Comments

Have you ever felt like you went too far? That you were too vulnerable with someone? That you were standing right at the brink of feeling out of control? Wondering if you would be pushed over and taken advantage of?

We have all been in these situations.

Often, we share and open up, only to feel sorry we did, only to feel put down or only to feel a recipient of unwanted advice.

I understand. It can feel easy to want to hide, to cover our heads, to shut down, to close off, to get defensive and to self protect. I do these things all the time because sharing is risky. Being open is threatening. People’s responses are uncertain. It’s sometimes easier to stay on steady ground.

Standing completely open to another’s reactions, views and perceptions threatens to redefine who we are – or simply hurt us at our very core. It makes us feel like others hold control.

And, none of us like being acted upon – to feel unsure where things are going. It can feel too much to handle. Overwhelming. It’s much easier to avoid these situations by maintaining control.

This way, we can avoid doubt, self-reflection and feelings of inadequacy. We can avoid wondering if we will be accepted, judged or criticized. We can avoid worrying about others worrying about us. We can avoid worrying about being punished for our beliefs.

At the bottom of it all, we fear others, we fear ourselves and we fear we won’t be loved. We fear we are not good enough and others will know.

And, sometimes these fears feel justified. We remember what happened the last time we were in a position like this, we remember the result and we remember our feelings. It was hard. Painful. Damaging. So, when we come against it again, we stand afraid – ready to fight – or take flight. Either way, we know we aren’t going to be treated the same way as last time.

What are we to do? How are we to be honest, transparent and vulnerable with others when we constantly feel in fear? How can we move towards relationship without feeling like we need to move away?

God has been stirring up these questions in my heart lately. I know he wants me to see beyond fear, but often I wonder how. I am coming to the realization that I will never feel completely fearless with others; I will never feel completely safe based on who I am. It is impossible. We are all fallen.

And, I will never be completely good enough by my own merit, so if that is my goal – it is unattainable.

Only One makes us good enough, only One can be our refuge in a time of trouble, only One can be our rock when our ground is sinking and only One can be our hope when life is hopeless.

I know these things. I do. But, talk is cheap and the heart is what counts.

I don’t want to be a talking testimony; I want to be a walking testimony.

God sees my desire. He is opening my eyes. Gently, He is revealing truth – to change my perspective and to make me effective.

He captured my eye with just a couple words in His Word that made all the difference in my world.

The Lord said to me, “You are sealed.”

(He) set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. (2 Cor. 1:22)

On face value, this may not appear the answer to all fear. But, these words have a powerful ripple effect that extends to the deepest levels of our hearts.

Why? Because being sealed means that we are enveloped in love. Like a letter wrapped in a sealed envelope, we are entirely covered above and below – wrapped by the ownership and power of the Holy Spirit. It covers us. Nothing can penetrate the seal or the mark of the Spirit.

Because we are in Him, our ultimate security is secure. We are sealed. Shut. Marked. Owned. Sent. Made right.

And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit… (Eph. 1:13)

The King’s seal is on our hearts.

If he took the time to seal us, won’t he protect us? Guard us? Ensure we are ok? Help us forgive? Encourage us to speak his truth with love?

Afterall, we are his letter and words to all nations.

In this, we don’t have to live scared. If God stands with us, who in the world can ever stand against us (Ro. 8:31). At our deepest levels we are secure.

People can say or do what they are going to do, but it doesn’t matter, because the seal of the Spirit keeps us safe. Nothing can change that seal. The Spirit forever marks us.

And, when we have been marked, we have been marked as belonging to the Lord. We are united. One. He will help us. He will not abandon us. He knows us. He approves of us because of Him. We are protected.

But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. (1 Cor. 6:17)

How could God destroy his very self?

Even if, in the moment, we are threatened – or at worst – taken advantage of, God always has the advantage. He always has a plan. He knows a way. He has a vision.

Do we trust Him?

We need not fear being hunted, threatened or hurt because – in the end – God will always be victorious. In fact, he already is. He has already won the battle. It is finished. Because of this, the battles of present day can lose their sting, because Jesus endured the ultimate sting.

Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. (Jo. 19:30)

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Rules are His Tools

July 29, 2014

purposefulfaith

Contentment, Obeying

2 Comments

“Mikey, don’t stand on Maddie’s stroller. Mikey, step down. Michael, now!” He looks at me and steps up higher and higher, until he starts to lose balance. When I see the stroller tip backward and Mikey slam on to the ground, my heart drops. If only he listened.

His sad eyes look up at me. Through the tears he asks, “Mommy, why? Why did I fall? Why did you let me Mommy?”

I want to grab him and yell, “Because I told you to get down. Why didn’t YOU listen to me?” But instead I say, “I am sorry you fell. I love you, little Mikey. It is important to listen to mommy. I am watching out for you when I tell you things. I want you to be safe.” I give him a hug.

How often are we like Mikey? How often do we push the boundaries just a little bit more? We think, I can get away with this – I’ll be ok. We want to do things our way. We fool ourselves. We think God isn’t watching. We think he won’t punish us. We think we can work our way around consequences with a little smart thinking. We think that grace will just entirely cover us, so we are okay. But, even though by grace we are secure in heaven and with God, consequences to our actions do arrive. When they do, like Mikey, we often look up at God and say, “Why God? Why did this happen? Why did you allow it?”

In many ways, we never grow up. We are on the verge of tipping over our own life strollers because, in the moment, it feels worth it. We step up, just a little higher, right to the very edge. Why? Because, many times, we view God’s commands as restrictions – rules – set in place to hold us back from fun, pleasure or relief. These “rules” rain on our parade. We step up a little higher on our strollers; we take the risk. Let’s see what happens!

Then, we down we fall. We fall flat on our face and we feel hurt. Like Mikey, we tend to miss the point of parental guidance entirely.

God lovingly, laid down directions for our lives to keep us in areas of safety. He doesn’t want us to drive into places of fear, pain, and consequence. He gives us a roadmap, so we can drive with an idea of where we are headed. With this, we know exactly how to get there and what is involved. He informs us of the places we shouldn’t venture. Why? Because we may get hurt, we may encounter bad people or we may get stuck. We may even miss our destination entirely if we go our own way. His directions are not given to demand his way, like an authoritarian dad. His directions keep us from pain, shame, guilt and regret. Even more, they are to offer us joy, fulfillment and purpose as we trust him.

He offers us the route to help us in our commute because he loves us. If only we would actually see it this way. We see his commands as rules, he sees them as tools. Tools to help us, to guide us and to keep us in places of contentment, peace and purpose.

When we drive within the lines of the boundaries he has set, we will find safety. We will live lives that are focused and purposeful. As a result, we will effectively love God and love others more because we are not walking around as hurt vessels. We are walking as loved children who are protected and secure in the path that God has set before us.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” (Ephesians 6:1-3)

But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. (James 1:25)

God has perfect directions, or laws, for our lives. Let’s keep our strollers upright as we walk hand in hand with God towards the destinations he has set before us.