Purposeful Faith

Tag - hope

Get up and walk!

The other morning, I felt led of the Lord to read John 5, so I did. But, what I didn’t know was that within 48 hours, I too, would be unable to walk…

What I read:

“When Jesus saw him (the lame man, at the pool of Bethesda) and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, “Would you like to get well?”

“I can’t, sir,” the sick man said, “for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.”

Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!” (John 5:6-8)

A couple days later…I couldn’t walk. I lay on my bed, immobile. The irony wasn’t lost on me.

Let me tell you what happened, from the beginning…

Three pairs of my pants ripped (one of which, ripped: Straight. Down. The. Back.).

This was a sign; I needed to work out. So, I hightailed my growing backside to a gym. At the gym, they told me I should “try a handstand against the wall”. I was hesitant, but I didn’t want to look dumb in front of the group. Needless to say, I tried, but I couldn’t execute it. While going up a wall, my legs fell down, straight down and my big toe hit the ground with all my body-force. Oww!

As a result, on Mothers’ Day, I sat, stuck on my bed, leg iced and lifted. The next day I still couldn’t move. My family waited on me hand-and-foot.

Then, I started up on the internet (a big no-no), which convinced me that I would be immobile for months, if not struggling for years. My mind was spinning. It could be this… It could be that… What if this… What if that…

I continued to lay on my bed; I can’t move.
I tried to hobble on crutches; I am not going to be able to do anything for a long, long time.
I searched more online; I’ll be inside permanently.

My mind settled into the idea – I was crippled.

I wonder, like me, might you also feel crippled? Are there categories of life, in which you have settled into a crippled-thinking? Maybe a habit is crippling you? Or a job? A future? A personality flaw? Where do you feel stuck on a mat, more than able to get up and walk to Jesus? Where have you started to think there is no way forward?

For me?

All this internet searching, made me mostly forget about Jesus.

But, soon, I remembered Jesus’ words – the words I read a couple days before, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk.”

Yes! This is it, I realized. I am not an immobile victim; I am someone Jesus wants to help. If He carried the cross, certainly He can carry my cross and me to some sort of victory, even if in my mind.

Something rose up in me. Authority came. I said to myself, “I’m not going to sit around here sulking! I am going to the doctor!”

I got up off my mat using crutches, thanks to Jesus, and headed in.

There, I found out, my foot was not broken and with shoes – I could walk again, even right now!!

Get up off your mat, and walk!

My friend, you have authority.
Jesus can help you walk again.
Jesus can help you do anything.

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Phil. 4:13)

Where is a victim mindset keeping you on a self-inflicted mat of defeat? Healing comes to a mind that says, “In this way (in the way God is leading me), with Christ’s strength, I can get up. I will get up. I am going to get up.”

It doesn’t have to look like a huge thing or a huge healing. Just make a move towards Jesus, in faith and see Him move.

There is always hope! Jesus has conquered the world and HE can help us conquer any painful situation we are confronted with, even when the worst pain is in our mind.

Keep the faith – and walk how He’s leading you to walk! He is faithful.

Prayer: Father, we praise your Holy Name. We thank you for your Son, Jesus. Oh, He is amazing. He is miracle-working. He is the One and Only. We ask you to forgive us of our victim mindsets that don’t believe and that keep us stuck. You are able to do anything. Come and meet us, come encounter us, come confront us in any areas where you see us on a mat. Come and help us walk. We want to walk again! Help us up. Some of us may have been stuck on a mat for a long time. I ask for an extra measure of grace for all of us to get up in the ways you want us to. And, Father? I thank you for helping me. Do it again, Father. Do it again, for all my friends and family on this blog. You can do it! In Jesus’ name. Amen.

***Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

If He’s Calling you to Wait, Wait.

The football coach proclaimed something like, “You’re out!! You just won’t wait in the pocket, like I want you to!”

The quarterback was afraid of getting hit, so rather than obeying the coach’s command to stay back, he moved out from behind the line to throw or to run, even though the coach’s clear command was — stay put.

The quarterback didn’t want a huge linebacker to pummel him, so he kept fearing and disobeying — by moving out — rather than trusting and waiting to throw the touchdown pass.

Likewise, many of us are afraid of waiting on the Lord. Many times, we fear that in our wait, we will: miss out on something; get hurt by our inaction; miss an opportunity; or be proven a fool. So, we don’t trust God and we move.

Have you ever been there? Maybe God is nudging your heart to wait on Him before applying to new jobs? To sit with Him before speaking out to your spouse? To keep in prayer before putting your house on the market? To rest in Him before moving your mouth?

How are you afraid of getting hit?

In this quarterback’s situation, in the movie, American Underdog, the coach set him up — to repeatedly get hit. Why? So he could learn to courageously wait and overcome.

Bam. I can do this.
Bam. I’m still alive.
Bam. After being hit 20 times, I now know I can take a hit or two.

Friends, I don’t know if you are at all like me, but I’ve been hit a time or two, too. I can’t say that God caused these hits, but I can certainly say my disobedience did. Hits were things like arguments, discouragement, defeat, or bad outcomes. Each hit hurt, but also, each hit taught me: it is a better strategy to trust the Lord than to move out on my time in my way.

“Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act…” (Ps. 37:7)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.” (Is. 55:8)

Better is it to stay with God, to wait in His presence, than to go my own way.

Prayer: Father God, if you are calling me to wait, please give me the perseverance and endurance to do so. Please give me strength in the wait. May I feel your nearness and your presence. May I gain a greater understanding of knowing and loving you. May I rest in the fact that you fight for me while I am still. May I trust you more and more, even when I don’t understand or can’t figure out what you are doing. Truly, you are weaving a tapestry of the greatest story ever. Help me to trust your plan. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

***Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

When You’re Not Happy With What You Have

good father

Ever noticed, its easy to see what everyone else has, but you?

Social media parades this fact in our faces…

She’s changing the world by starting through missions in Africa and is being publicly rewarded. The other gal is hanging out with the very group that rudely excluded you. The old friend is now building a whole sports complex in her backyard and her family always looks picture-perfect. Another woman smiles in bliss with her husband in Bermuda – of course, her body is perfect in that tan bikini.

But you?

Youre sitting like a blob on the couch, hair in messy bun, dirty dishes stacked high in the sink and the dirty toilets are calling your name today because they must be cleaned.

Friends, Ill tell you. . . I know what it is to sit in this seat.

From home, it is easy to observe people. Not only in what God is doing in their lives, but also by seeing how good they have it. How happy they seem… All God has given them… What things look like…

In some ways, I havent gotten what others have. Maybe you feel the same way? Like you havent been treated as well? That your marriage got the short end of the stick? That you were treated unfairly or ripped off by people? I wonder, is there sometimes pain in the offering of these things to God?

I get it.

Online, we see peoples best of days, often on our worst of days. With all this in mind, the other day, I prayed to God about my lot. It probably sounded something like this:

“God, I’ve moved around a lot. You know it, and I know it! Father, you know Ive always wanted a garden, but I rent. Why am I going to make beautiful, a rented yard? Thats not my lot…”

But, at the same time, I realized: it is my lot.

Here, it was as if God was saying, Kelly, love your lot. Love your lot, a lot.”

To love my lot, I went out to the garden store and bought a huge box of flowers. I planted them all over my rented lot. New buds of hope. New blooms of life and perspective. Brightness on my ground.  Rather than seeing what I didnt have, I chose to beautify and relish in what I did have.

Now, in the evenings, my kids and I go out and look at what has grown. We enjoy our lot.

How can you enjoy and beautify – relish and wonder – over your lot, no matter how bad it may seem? Friends, truly – no matter how bad it looks – there is a lot God has given you.  What if, rather than seeing what you dont have, you gain eyes to see what you really do have? What if, rather than hating, you start playing up what is working? What if, rather than complaining, you start thanking God for what is your ground, your body, your family?

Maybe you’ll see that your lot is not only a lot, but now a garden.

“I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” (Phil. 4:10-14 MSG)

Prayer: Father, give me eyes to see – what I do have. Give me a heart to love what you have given me. Show me ways to appreciate and value what youve put around me. I want your view and your hope as it pertains to my lot. In Jesus name. Amen.

***Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

Have you heard the song, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus?”   This morning, the song’s lyrics resonated in my spirit: “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face…and the things of Earth will grow strangely dim…in light of His glory and grace.”

When I turn my eyes upon Jesus…all else fades. The worries. The problems. The fears. The stress. The burdens.

There remains Jesus, the One who saves.  There remains Jesus, the One who paid it all. There remains Jesus, the One who empathizes with my pain and struggle. There remains Jesus, The Way, The Truth and The Life.

But, so often, other things distract me from Him. The schedule of the day clouds my vision. The pressure of people’s needs fills my eyes. Things another woman is doing, pull me, almost subconsciously, in another direction.

What do we do – when we want Him, but get distracted by everything else?

This morning, as I closed my eyes, somewhat pondering this thought with God, what came to mind was: Horses wear blinders for a reason.

What was the reason? I got out my phone to look deeper.

Apparently, horses have 350-degree vision. This means that they can see everywhere but directly behind them. This also means that they can get extremely distracted. A neighboring horse can pull them off track. A plowing machine hooked on them, can appear to them as a predator and cause them to react. A wild and cheering stadium can make a race horse go berserk.

They must have a narrow and limited view on what matters so they don’t get thrown off by what doesn’t matter.

So must we!

How might God be calling us to limit our view today? What vision is actually distracting us more than helping us?

Is seeing social media images leaving us discouraged and sad or is it uplifting us and filling us with things of God?

Is that gossipy neighbor someone God wants us continually looking at and listening to?

Is focusing on portending doom actually helping our mind, or is worry zapping us of faith?

Is our well-laid-out fix it scheme the way, or is prayer?

Is seeing offense our way, or is becoming blind to offense and full of love, a more prosperous road?

Often, as we blind negative things we gain greater vision pertaining to things of God.

Paul, in the Bible, became blind for three days before he gained sight that opened a radical ministry of the Lord.   Are you, like Paul, willing to put blinders on in order to see more of God?

Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. The things of Earth will grow strangely dim, in light of His glory and grace.

Prayer: Father God, You are what I want. You are what I need. You are what I want to fix my mind on. You say, you keep in perfect peace those whose minds are stayed on the Lord. Let that be said of me. Let that be known of me. More of You and less of what I think I need. Be my vision. Be my hearing. Be my hope. Be my all in all. I want you more than anything else. Give me all the grace I need today to keep my eyes, ears and focus on you and show me what I might need to let go of. Show me what I might need to become blind to in order to see more of you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

***Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Addressing the Fear of Loving

God's love

A girlfriend, last night, told me, “Kelly, I know you care for me, because you spend time with me.”

She was right; I care for her. Another girl at the table could have said, “Kelly, you love me, because you serve me.” Yet, another, could have noted, “Kelly, you love me because you give gifts to me.”

Loving is giving (giving: words, time, gifts, time, service, hope)…

“For God so loved the world that He gave…” (Jo. 3:16)

Jesus gave His life, so we could experience death-defying love.

Love accomplishes much and it never fails. It takes bold risk. Many have led the way in love…

One woman gave, at least, a year’s worth of savings (some say it could be her life savings), and poured it out as a perfume-offering, a pre-burial anointing, on Jesus’ feet…

“She stood behind Jesus and cried at his feet. And she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair. She kissed them and poured perfume on them.” (Lu. 7:38)

Giving from her heart she gave away her greatest treasure.
Crying, she didn’t care about the Pharisees, who were likely judging.
Letting go, she gave up what she had rights to.
Due to love. Due to honor. Due to someone greater than she.

Another woman, Martha, had her own love-act. She gave up the pressure to please man and to meet societal expectations, by ditching the dinner preparations — to sit at Jesus’ feet. How dare she?!

(But,) Jesus said, “But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” (Lu. 10:42)

She knew love was her highest calling.
She focused on a ministry to God’s heart, first.
She kept first-things, first.

Beyond this, this verse strikes me: “And as He rode along, the people kept spreading their garments on the road.” (Luke 19:36)

Again, love and honor, to the very heart of Christ prevailed.

They laid down what they owned, due to love.
They shed layers, because Jesus was greater.
They likely recognized, God in their midst, and honored Him.

I want to love Jesus this way, don’t you? But, sometimes things hold us back from extravagant, courageous, all-out love. What are they?

For me? If I am honest, it is: fear.

Fear that the time I spend reading the Bible will make me miss out on something else.
Fear that giving will leave me high and dry.
Fear that if I’m with God, I won’t get a chance to do important things for God.
Fear that I’ll be judged.

“The greatest of these is love.” (1 Cor. 13:13)
 
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” (1 Cor. 2:9)

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Ro. 8:28)

Love never fails. And, it is the one thing that — endures forever…

“Love never ends.” (1 Cor. 13:8)

Prayer: Father? We want to love more. We want to love Father, Son and Holy Spirit more. We want to give from deep inner reserves. Because all things are from you, to you and through you — will you fill us with love? Will you help us to pay attention and to have great devotion to love? We want to honor you more. You are our greatest ministry. First, we love you! Give us your grace to sit and to talk, to hear and to understand, to minister to your very heart. In Jesus’ All-Powerful, Ever-Saving Name, Amen.

***Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Does God Feel Far or Near?

I remember when I went to college. Suddenly, the nearness of my parents was gone. Because of distance, I did things I would never have done infront of them (drink, etc.). Rather than talk with my mom and dad, I got wisdom from friends. Rather, than seeking help, I acted independently.

When someone is distant, they are hard to reach, out of touch. You don’t consult with them as much, you feel disconnected and, sometimes, even alone. You do what you  normally wouldn’t do if they were infront of you.

When a Father is distant, children go awry: They’re fending for themselves, fixing problems alone, doing what they wouldn’t do at home, finding answers in other places.

Friends, can I admit today? I have allowed Father God to feel distant. But, the truth is — He isn’t..

“But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.” (Ps. 78:23)

“I have set the Lord continually before me;
Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” (Ps. 16:8)

The Lord is near to all who call upon Him,
To all who call upon Him in truth.” (Ps. 145:18)

The truth is — to all who call to be near, they come near. To all who make God they’re refuge, they are right in Him. To all who want Him, they get him.

We can’t let the enemy tell us God is far away. That’s a lie. He is right with us. He cares for us. He sees the path we are on. He has a good plan for us. He is not holding back from us. He wants us, likely, more than we want Him.

He is 100% fully prepared to lead us, guide us, be with us, instruct us and show us our way. God isn’t distant — He’s close and knowing that makes all the difference.

Prayer: Father, I draw near to you and I know, here, you will draw near to me. I want to know your closeness. I want to remain in your love. I want to see you before me in all I do. Pour out all the grace I need today to be near to you, in all my ways. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

 

For One You Love…

God's love

For one you love, you do anything to spend time with them…
For one you love, you travel miles to get to…
For one you love, you think of them through the day…
For one you love, you share hidden secrets…
For one you love, you listen closely…

“Jesus replied: “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ (Mt 22:37)

For one you love, you trust them with all your heart…
For one you love, you lean on in hard times…
For one you love, you do silly things for and please them…
For one you love, you put their life ahead of yours…
For one you love, you probably would die for…

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” (Mt. 22:36)

For one you love, you know their voice…
For one you love, you seek to understand them…
For one you love, you desire to know them more…
For one you love, you listen when they ask you to do something…
For one you love, you do things to bless them…

“Jesus replied: “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ (Mt 22:37)

All. All our heart. All our soul. All our mind.

There Jesus is. The love of our life. Do we love Him with our all – or is our love small?

In a world that constantly interrupts us, where our is dinging, where our schedule is raging, where people are interrupting, where fast-service is beckoning, where the internet is always going — it can be hard to be all-in, fully invested in love. I know.

There is wisdom in remembering: To turn off the world is to prepare yourself to intimately connect with God.

This can be in your mind, as you commute to work.
This can be at home, as you turn off your phone.
This can be on a walk, as you talk to Jesus.
This can be doing laundry, as you smile and let Father God know that you love Him.

Where are little places of love that you can carve out in your life? What would intentional love look like?

Prayer: Father, we want to love you more. We want to honor you more. We want to love you with all our heart, all our soul, all our mind and all our strength. Please help us in this. We need your grace to love you more. Will you remind us? You are everything to us! You are deserving of all our love! Don’t let our love run cold or our hearts grow hard. Give us a supple and soft heart. Cleanse our heart and show us any wrong way within us. In Jesus’ All-Mighty Name, Amen.

***Subscribe for all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

The post God Above All Else appeared first on Purposeful Faith.

God Above All Else

Have you ever determined that you want something? I have. I have determined that I want a specific recipe for dinner. So, I do everything in my power to make it to the grocery store for the three items I don’t have at home. I have determined that I need a new outfit for an event, so I make it to the clothing store, no matter what. If I don’t find what I need there, I head somewhere else. I have determined that my kids need to be active, so I waste no time and immediately get on the internet to find them sports classes to be in.

When we set our mind that we want something, we go after it.

“Jesus replied: “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’” (Mt. 22:37)

What does it look like to love Him with all of us?

I believe it looks like — determining. Determining to get up early. Determining that you want more of Him. Determining that all of Him needs to fill all of you. Determining to know the fullness of Him that extends beyond the fullness of the life you think you already have…

“And this is eternal life: [it means] to know (to perceive, recognize, become acquainted with, and understand) You, the only true and real God, and [likewise] to know Him, Jesus [as the] Christ (the Anointed One, the Messiah), Whom You have sent.”

This is eternal life! Why not start now? To know God is to know all we need to know. It is to be filled with all the goodness of life? It is to gain perspective that heals all our perspectives.

To hunger and thirst for earthly things leads to carnality, sin and lusts that can’t be filled, but to hunger and thirst for God and His righteousness, leads to a well that keeps on giving.

What are we thirsting for? More stuff? More good food? More material things? More from a spouse? More answers? Or, more of God?

“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” (Ja. 4:8)

What happens when we want God above all else?

He is so close. We know Him. We love Him. We let go of lesser things. We desire to read the Bible more. We hunger to understand His love more. We are full of love, joy and peace…

How do we do this? We make simple steps to spend time with Him before our mind pulls us elsewhere. We press in. We ask.

Father, I want to love you more! I want to love you with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. Teach me what this looks like. Grow me in love and in knowing you. Grow me in perceiving and understanding you. Show me how to draw near. Give me the courage to say no to lesser things. I love you. Please draw near to my heart that hungers and thirsts for you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Beating Fear

One of the worst things to deal with is fear.

Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night and what hits me is: What if you’re not eating the right things? What if you aren’t teaching your kids well enough that they follow the Lord? What if you are missing God’s plan for your life? What if you don’t make it through? What if…(this). What if (that). 

Do you deal with fear? Are you afraid of getting sick? Of getting hurt? Of being left high and dry?

We must know how to conquer fear. For, if we don’t conquer fear, it will conquer us. It will beat us into submission. Rather than fulfilling God’s big callings to love, we will hide-out. Rather than reaching big mission fields, we will excuse ourselves to the safety of our own homes. Rather than having real conversations, we will act on impulse and shut down what God is doing.

We don’t want this.

Now, more than ever, we need to know how to stand strong and firm for Christ. We need to be brave to speak. Braver, to take a stand. And, most brave, to die to our flesh in order to become alive to Christ.

This doesn’t come naturally to us. But, it is a choice. Otherwise, we would not have been told so many times in scripture to, “Fear not.” We have power to — fear not. We have the ability to say, “No” to what wants to rule us.

When we lay up the size of our problem against the height of our God, suddenly everything comes into perspective. What looks like a giant, becomes beatable, when we look at our Savior.

“For the LORD Almighty has purposed, and who can thwart him? His hand is stretched out, and who can turn it back?” (Is. 14:27)

No one can thwart our God.

Do you know this on your insides? If you deal with fear, worry, anxiety or if you want to know God’s heights even more, I invite you to attend our second breakthrough workshop on fear.

Sign up today.

Days & Multiple-ways to Attend (via live/recorded ZOOM):
1. Live Breakthrough Workshop 2 (Maintaining Fearlessness) – Tue. Feb 8, 6:30-8:30 PM ET
2. Via recording (also get the shame event recording too!)

Register now!

The workshop cost is $19. I lowered the price (while covering costs), to help as many people attend as possible!

Defeating the Enemy

Last night, I turned to my husband and said, “I feel like I hate myself.”

Wow. These were bold and uncharacteristic words. Why was I thinking like this? Why did I feel so down this day? Why was the world was coming down on me?

Not that much had changed from yesterday. In this moment, everything was heavy, my outlook was bleak and I didn’t have answers for my problems. I was angry — at me.

Ever been there?

You know there is a real enemy who is really coming against our soul, mind and heart in Christ Jesus. He doesn’t just play-lightly, he isn’t out there blowing bubbles or playing jacks.

He is vicious. He is ravenous.

“For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.” (Rev. 12:10)

Scripture tells us, the accuser is accusing us nearly all the time — day and night. Can you imagine? That’s a lot of attack that comes our way. That’s a lot to stand up against, sometimes.

I should know. I sometimes wake up in the night with hurls of accusation coming at me.

How do we stand against this? How do we stand strong when one day we feel great and the next we are attacked?

We don’t have to wage the war alone. Christ is with us and in us (Col. 1:27). Jesus is the Overcomer. The issue is: we have to turn to Him, rather than shirking away in defeat or disillusion. We cannot allow him who is defeated to triumph over HIM who has already overcome.

Sadly, I didn’t turn to Jesus. There are real consequences to that (such as: a bad night sleep, arguments, being on edge, snap judgements, etc.)

Many times I do, though, and these are a couple of my strategies to overcome…

One: I say, “get away from me accuser. Whom the Son set free is free indeed. I am not listening to attacks.”
“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (Ja. 4:7)

Two: I repent of believing lies and only speak what is true and positive.
“If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. (Jo 8:32)

Three: I worship and praise God’s name.
“The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
and with my song I praise him.” (Ps. 28:7)

When we take a stand against darkness, darkness has no chance against the light of Christ.

If you feel the enemy, or  your flesh, pulling you away from God — I believe this 2-part breakthrough workshop (that starts tomorrow, Saturday) will be a help to you. I want to pray, connect, talk about God’s truth and give you strategies to stand firm.

Sign up today.

2 Days & Multiple-ways to Attend (via live/recorded ZOOM):
1. Live Breakthrough Workshop 1 (Practices to Defeat Shame) – (Tomorrow) Sat. Feb 5, 10:00 AM -11:45 PM ET
2. Live Breakthrough Workshop 2 (Maintaining Fearlessness) – Tue. Feb 8, 6:30-8:30 PM ET
3. Recorded version  – Both events will be sent post-event.
Register now!

The morning retreat cost is $19. I lowered the price (while covering costs), to help as many people attend as possible!