Tag - #grace

Facing The Hard Truth

1 week ago

Blog Post: When Admitting Truth Is Hard

Standing on the tarmac, getting ready to launch off on my bike with my family, I made a random comment to my husband. Friends, I can’t remember exactly what it was now, but I do remember asking myself right after, “Man, what in the world is wrong with him?”

His reply to my random comment was both off and condescending. And, frankly, his anxiety was causing me anxiety. I didn’t like it; I didn’t like it at all! I wouldn’t have it. My husband needed to pull himself together. I wanted to enjoy this bike ride, not have it go sideways because of him. So, I arrogantly barked out, “Whatever you’re dealing with, pull it together already!”

Almost at the same time I released this behemoth demand, God tugged on my heart. It was as if He traveled me back to all the mornings that I’ve had with Him lately…

Instantly, I remembered how He revealed to me that I can sometimes project onto others what I, myself, am feeling. Why? To protect myself from having to deal with the awkwardness of myself. To keep the problem about them. To avoid embarrassment, shame, or having to change. It’s easier that way.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Mt. 7:3-5)

Ick. What if the problem is not him at all, but it is actually all about me?

Am I feeling anxious? I was.
Could I be projecting? Yes.
Could I have made it about him, because it’s easier than handling me? Oh gosh. That could be…

Ick.

Hiding truth keeps the problems on them and projecting keeps the horrifying spotlight off me…but neither of these are God’s way.

On that tan tarmac, I quickly snapped back to reality, and I pulled my whole family together, along with my husband.

I said, “Family, can I admit something to you? I feel anxious. I am nervous about whether we will all have fun on the ride. Can you pray for me?”

They did.

Of course, I’ll never really know if my husband was anxious or not. But what I do know is that it is not my job to fix him; it is my job to be honest before the Lord, and man, about me. It is my job to be honest. If I want freedom for my family, I must be truthful, for it is the truth that sets one free.

In this, I don’t have to hide my inadequacies; I can admit them to others and to the Lord. I don’t have to pretend I have it all together, I can admit fear and be healed. I don’t have to run away from telling others I am sorry; I can apologize.

Is it awkward? Absolutely. Who likes standing there naked?

Is it embarrassing to make a mistake? Yes. In our culture we hold up perfection like it is a statue of David.

Is it humbling? Yes, but perhaps that is the point.

We don’t worship some perfect version of us; we worship Jesus who gives us grace in our time of need. We don’t have to have it all together; His grace is enough. We don’t have to hide who we really are or tuck away from learning; confession is an integral part of being a Christian.

Who are you blaming? How are you hiding? What feels embarrassing? Perhaps, as you bring that to Him — He will give you the power to walk in humility before them.

I know it isn’t easy. But if you are looking for freedom – only truth sets one free. Ask God to protect you, ask God to lead you, and ask God to help you. Their response belongs to them, but your obedience, and the joy that comes with it, belong to you.

It’s never easy to change, but it is always worth it. What would it look like for you, today, to see the things you’ve been trying to hide away? How can you take responsibility for them before the Lord? How might you have gotten things wrong? How can you make things right? What would it look like to walk in humility?

My friends, I know it is tough to see all this. Trust me, I know. But, let’s be encouraged — God doesn’t reveal these things to chide us; He reveals these things to heal us. For then, after we have learned, we can walk in relationship in ways we have dreamed of, and we can see the hope we have searched for. We let God heal us and help us in all His ways. We find new roads and grace open to us.

It’s worth it.

The price of admission opens to us new gates of personal freedom.

Prayer: Father, I don’t like admitting things that embarrass me. I don’t like getting things wrong. I want people to think highly of me. I want to come off a certain way. Forgive me for having pride. I have defended myself too long. You are my Defender. You are My Savior. Forgive me for taking your work into my hands. I am sorry. I am guilty. Will you forgive me? Will you help me? In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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Handling Broken Things…

3 weeks ago

purposefulfaith

attack, awe, faith

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The plant wasn’t even real; it was plastic. Maybe that’s why it wouldn’t stand upright. At the slightest sign of wind, the dang plant, and the pot it was in, would crash over. I’d walk outside and see it, yet again, knocked over. And, day after day, I picked it up.

Except for this morning… Staring at a triangular piece broken off the side of the pot from the raging war of hard winds and repeated falls, I wondered what in the world I was doing.

I decided, I can either watch this thing fall 1,000 more times, or I can get up and do something about it. Sometimes, we are waiting on God, when God may be waiting on us. God gave us two feet and two hands. With this, we always have a God-given ability to move our feet and to use our hands. To take a stand. To do something new. To use new words. To steady ourselves in God’s Word. Or, we can keep observing our own fall, and see only a defeated spirit.

With all this, I knew it was time to stop watching the falling decline of this plastic plant and my own internal defeated spirit.

So, I drove with my husband to Walmart this morning! I walked myself right into the outdoor section, studied the small variety of foliage, and I bought myself a real, sturdy, and beautiful plant.

It felt powerful.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” (2 Tim. 1:7)

I am not powerless to effect change in my life; I am powerful. The spirit that I walk in is powerfulness in Christ! And that plant, I knew, would be a continual reminder of this fact!

I am powerful to change bad habits.
I am powerful to obey God in moments of temptation.
I am powerful to exchange my barren mentalities to see God’s lush growth in my life.
I am powerful to stand strong and to resist the enemy.
I am powerful and I make progress spiritually by the power of God’s Word.
I am powerful to trust God, who is at work in me!

He is at work in you too!

What would it look like to make powerful progress in your life today? What, in the natural, may be powerfully symbolic as you make a greater move towards God?

Maybe you clean out a drawer and in the spiritual it reminds you continually of the new space you are clearing out for time with God.

Maybe you ditch the junk in your closet and it represents letting go of the shame of the past.

Maybe you buy yourself a piece of jewelry that continually reminds you of how much God loves you.

Small progress counts big. Progress doesn’t have to be a giant leap to be tremendously and spiritually impactful.

For instance, now, when I see that leafy green, knee-high plant? I see my ability to effect change through the strength God is affording me. I realize — I am not a victim in any way, shape or form; I am powerful in Christ Jesus.

I do new things and take action!

In the end, I got tired of watching that pot fall over 1,000 times. What may be falling over in your life time and time again? What small act of progress could God be calling you to that might make giant leaps in your life? What small move may encourage you to stay strong in heart and mind?

Make that move, today! And, tell me about it! I’d love to hear.

Prayer: Father, I want to thank You that You don’t leave us helpless and hopeless. We have inside of us the Hope of all Glory, Christ Jesus. Help us to stand up, to stand firm, and to fan the flame within us. We want to be strong in faith and heart. Give us power to change and grow. Give us grace to take new steps. Encourage us in all Your ways. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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When Worry Makes You Restless

1 month ago

purposefulfaith

awe, faith, hope

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What are you worrying about? Is there something that you can’t stop rehashing?

I’ll admit it! I’ll raise my hand to say — I’ve had some worries lately, friends. Will the kids be ok? Will their future be good? Will my future be good? Will I get them in the right school? Will my daughter’s hurt leg be okay? Will I connect and find new people in the new city I find myself in? Did I act right?

There are nights where I run circles around these questions, like a runner on a track. Round and round, I fashion and figure things out to the point of tiredness. Eventually, I fall asleep.

What a waste.

What does it serve me to do this? What does worry accomplish? Worry is a like a rocking chair. It looks like it is going somewhere, but actually moves us nowhere. Back and forth we go — thinking we’re getting somewhere. But all we’re really doing is fashioning a mental rut that we can’t get out of.

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” (Lu. 12:25-26)

So, what else are we to do?

“You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father.” (Jo. 14:13 NLT)

While the worry-er gets caught up rehashing and wrestling with impossible situations — the warrior starts praying and letting God handle the impossible.

Note here, in this verse, Jesus said we can ask for anything.

You know that impossible thing? That perfect solution you can’t seem to wrap your mind’s arms around? God knows how to do it.

You know that horrible situation? The one where it looks like you’ve been completely ruined? God has your way out.

You know that person that you just can’t change? God has a plan at the ready; what if prayer unleashes it?

Jesus not only tells us we can pray; He instructs us that when we do pray, we can ask for anything! Wow. He will do it!

“You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father.” (Jo. 14:13 NLT)

Not only that, but when we pray and see God make a way — He, then, gets all the glory! He gets all the praise. We give Him thanks because we know it was Him. Only He could do it!

In the end, prayer increases praise and ceases all worrying. God gets all the glory. God gets the thanks.

What if, today, you took what you were worrying about and started praying about it?

Let’s pray!

Father, I repent of worrying and wrestling with things I cannot fix. Father, only you have the way. Help me to surrender my fear. I give to you all the things I cannot work out. I lay them into your hands. Will you help me, lead me and guide me? You are the Creator. I am the created. You can make a way! I thank you and praise you for your Son. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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Handling People Who Keep Hurting You

2 months ago

purposefulfaith

faith, grace, hope, Love & Health

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I sent her a text. I waited days for a response. Finally, a somewhat monotone sounding voice-text would come through, perhaps asking me a question. A month later, something similar would happen again. Two months after, I’d do it all over. Usually, an “I’m-sorry-I’m-busy” reply would show up from the recipient. The first time this happened, that kind of reply made sense. The fifth time? Not as much.

Overlooking offense, like an excited puppy, I kept ignoring her repeatable pattern. After all, I love this woman; I really do. I care for her a lot and have wonderful memories with her. So, I overlooked the fact that she kept pushing me off, that she was not honoring my time, and that she was often replying in a distant monotone voice. Add that to the fact that, after I listened to her message and quickly replied back with my own heart-wide-open response…

…I got no response back from her. Dead air. Silence.

That is hard. Why do I keep subjecting myself to this?

This morning I woke up with a question that hit like a brick: “What am I, a fool?”

To keep repeating the same cycles to one’s own injury is foolish. To keep subjecting oneself, like an indebted servant, to someone else’s passive-aggressiveness is foolish.

“As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.” (Pr. 26:11)

Why do I keep partaking in the foolishness of winning this woman over when she’s making it clear as day that she’s not interested?

I’m like a fool returning to its idiotic folly. But, why? Why do I return? Why do I keep seeking to win over people who don’t want me?

During my prayer time, I sought the Lord. “God, why do I act like a fool, continually subjecting myself to repeated pain?”

I felt the answer come clear as day, “Kelly, you believe what they are doing is a proclamation or a reflection of who you are. You have to fix that, or else…”

I understood then and there that I feel I have to change them to feel good — about me. I have to win them over. I have to make them love me. I have to stick with them until I am worthy so I feel worthy. I have to make sure they see me as a something so I don’t have to feel like a nothing. I have to make sure they never treat me as impersonal or distant, lest I be unwanted.

Wow. When did I allow man’s words and actions to have more power than God’s Word and actions? When did I give man so much power over me? When did I lose the calling of God to make my mission to win over the affection of man?

Ick. Jesus didn’t do this.

Jesus went to the cross, despite man’s criticism of Him as the Son of God. He carried on with His mission despite the condemnation about how He healed on the Sabbath. Jesus remembered He was the Son of God, despite the name-calling He experienced. But, imagine? What if Jesus allowed other people’s actions to define Him? He likely would not have fulfilled HIs destiny — crucifixion, resurrection, and salvation for all the believers in the entire world. We cannot look at man! But, do we?

Have we given in to man’s words in such a way that we have subtly given up on God’s cause? Have we become a slave to winning people over more than trusting Jesus who won all freedom on the cross? Have we become a victim to a slave master who tells us we have to fix people in order to be loved or to be happy?
God gives us another way. It is:

Forget what they say!
Forget what they do!
People’s actions are no proclamation over you!
For it is God — who speaks over you!

You are wanted!
Chosen!
Called!
Forgiven.
Empowered by grace!
Equipped for every good work!
Valuable.
Wanted.
Loved.

Today is the line-in-the-sand day when we:

Forget all the foolishness! If that person doesn’t love you, want you or choose you — so what?! That’s not your issue, that’s their issue! God still loves you, wants you and chooses you.

Even more, He is lining up new relationships and new horizons that will speak volumes over those old hurts. Hope again. He has good things for you.

You are His special child. He cares so greatly for you that you don’t have to go chasing after people who keep hurting you.

Prayer: Father, I forgive those who keep hurting me. I also ask you to forgive me for serving and catering to man over you. Forgive me for making a mission out of trying to win people over. I release and surrender these people to you. I serve You and Your will first and foremost. I repent of subjecting myself to continual hurt when You haven’t called me to. I come under Your truth about me (I am loved, wanted, called, helped, not left as an orphan), more than I absorb other people’s words and actions as proclamations of my worth. I am loved and adored. Please help me to know this and help me to be more and more in love with You. May Your love fill every hole in my heart. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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Do you Look Foolish Trusting God?

2 months ago

purposefulfaith

faith, hope, Love & Health

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What looks like foolishness to man can actually be radical obedience to God.

“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise…” (1 Cor. 1:27 NIV)

Friends, in the swoop of a two-week span, we packed up all our home goods, sold our furniture, and moved by faith to a new area.

I know some may call us “hasty”. I am aware that by natural eyes it looks foolish; it was so quick. However, after prayer and seeking, I know this move is of the Lord.

I know it is of the Lord even though bedbugs awaited us at our first Airbnb (Ick! We got out of there fast!).

I know it is of the Lord even though the first school we put our kids in was a complete bomb and we had to disenroll them on the first day.

I know it is of the Lord even though we can’t yet find a home to settle in.

I know it is of the Lord even though we are traveling around towns, praying and seeking, with stuff packed in the back of two vehicles.

God never said faith would be easy. God never said faith has everything all together. God never said faith looks neat and tidy, easy or simple. God said to go and do it anyway.

“Take nothing for your journey,” he instructed them. “Don’t take a walking stick, a traveler’s bag, food, money, or even a change of clothes.” (Lk. 9:3 NLT)

God’s grace steps in as we step out. As we step out on the water to walk, grace empowers our steps in the miraculous. It doesn’t always feel good though. We may do it weak. We may do it scared. Friends, still do it.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor. 12:9-10)

God never said we wouldn’t be tried; He made it clear we would come out as gold, to His glory!

“These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.” (1 Pet. 1:7)

We are proven as gold, and trials purify us by fire — to His glory!

My friends? I think it is important for us faith-full followers to know — our faith is still working out its perfect end! It doesn’t matter what it looks like. It doesn’t matter how hard it feels. It doesn’t matter how opposed it looks. Jesus was opposed and kept walking.

So, don’t give up. I’m not! We will find a great school for the kids. We will land in the right home (pray for us!!!). Most of all, we will be positioned in the ideal will of the Lord, in the place where He wants us to be for such an hour as this. It will be good. He makes all things beautiful in His time. Until then, faith can feel hard. Extreme. Outside of the understanding of others. But, does it please the Lord? Always.

“And without faith it is impossible to please God…” (Heb. 11:6)

Prayer: Father, help me not to judge, in fear, what I have done, in faith. Keep me strong in faith regarding the decisions I have made. Give me strength, endurance, and perseverance to carry on. May all I do be to your glory. May all I walk out be done with love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control, no matter how hard it is! In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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The Snare When We Compare…

July 8, 2024

purposefulfaith

Comparing, faith, hope

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I didn’t like my house. My house was a townhouse. My friend’s lived in actual houses. My house was a rented house. My friends’ houses were owned. I couldn’t paint my walls. I couldn’t move a wall if I wanted to. They could.

Rather than seeing what I did have, I saw all that I didn’t have – when I looked at all my friends had.

Because I compared, I found myself ensnared in defeat and self-pity.

Ever been there? Maybe you can’t understand why life is so hard for you? Why God hasn’t given you more? Why your friend continually has jaw-dropping opportunities open before her? Why it’s been so hard with your health and so easy for others? Why everyone online is so happy and you are not. Why your lot is troubled?

The grass is always greener on the other side, you think. I understand, my friend, I’ve been there too…

I remember, one day, I literally stared at my yard. There was no grass on that rented plot of land. The shrubs were droopy. The ground was dark and dry mud. I didn’t like it. Ick.

Day after day, I felt a little annoyed at that land as I rushed out the front door to go wherever I was going…

But, one day, rather than continually look at what I hated, I decided to rise up and to make my land beautiful. God inspired me! Hope welled up in me. He was giving me vision.

I went to the nursery and bought a whole bunch of beautiful plants. In time, they would bloom! I would have something to enjoy! There was something good actually coming for me at my house.

“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” (Ec. 3:11)

What might God still be beautifying in your life? How can you powerfully take a small action to plant a seed that might grow into something beautiful (ex: send a card of love to a hard relationship, start a new hobby, etc.)? What joy and thanks might return to your heart if you stop comparing your lot against others and start thanking God for what you do have?

After those plants were planted, and time was given for them to bloom, I saw that God gave me something good! Everything didn’t have to be so bad after all! God really does make all things beautiful in HIS TIME.

Joy gives thanks (not only for what we have, but for the beauty that is coming)!!

Prayer: Father, rather than counting and tallying all that we do not have, give us eyes and a heart to see all that we do have, in You. Help us to be thankful. Help us to take action where we have ability. Help us not to be powerless, but powerful in you. We love you. We thank you that you are making all things beautiful in Your time. You are always faithful. We love you. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Exciting News! Friends, I launched a podcast. It is named, “Hear God’s Voice.” New podcast episodes release every week. Listen today!

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Where You Can Hide When You’re Afraid

June 14, 2024

purposefulfaith

awe, faith, hope, peace, Speaking Truth, The World, truth

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Frankly, all I could muster out of my mouth this time was, “God, be my defender.”

The attack was ferocious. The verbal assault, intense. The end of it, not in sight. There was no place to hide.

My insides cried out… How will I make it? I have no strength. I can’t even muster words to pray.

The only place I could land was a nonverbal statement that somehow became a silent prayer: “Kelly, be still and know that He is God.” (Ps. 46:10)

I took a deep breath and exhaled the battle. God would have to fight it now.

Dear friends, did you know? Sometimes – at the end of ourselves, at the end of our lives, or at the end of our rope – a prayer can be a single scripture, owned. When there are no words, prayer hides out under a scriptural truth until it becomes and overcomes us.

“For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.” (Ps. 27:5)

God’s Word is a place in which we can hide. When no words are left, when all looks impossible, when the battle is raging, when nothing is working – God’s Word always works. When the world is folding in on us, when people are accusing, when the rug is pulled out from under us – there is powerful hiding we can find, in scripture residing in us.

Yet, if we don’t have it there, we can’t hide in that cleft of the rock. God’s Word is not only truth; it is a hiding place for the weary.

Do you have scripture residing in you? You know, if you are not in a battle today, there’s likely one coming at you tomorrow. Are you ready? Prepared to stand firm? Do you have oil prepared and stored?

To memorize the Word is to never lose it – even if physical bibles were someday taken away.

To dive into Jesus’ heart, is to know it – even if everyone else’s heart is turned against.

To become the Word is to know the Word – even if words of hurt surround.

To understand the ways of God, is to know the paths of God – even if confusion mounts on every side.

My friends, now more than ever, we must not only have scripture in our minds, but we must own it in our hearts. For there, it cannot be stolen, but it is greatly seen by God.

“But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Sam. 16:7)

God looks upon our heart. How do we connect our heart with God’s? How do we strengthen our heart? How do we love what God loves? How do we keep focus on His Word?

The more we seek Him the more we find Him.

Prayer:

Father, let us seek you and find you. Let us know your Word as our words. Let us be strong in the power of your might so we can stand any test of these times. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

—

An Invite for You:

If I know anything, I know the power to persevere, to love God and to keep hope — comes through God’s Word, which is why I want to invite you to my latest workshop: “Understanding and Loving God’s Word”.

Here, you will learn how to:

– Find and make time to read the bible.

– Learn how to keep focus.
– Connect deeply with Scripture, to understand God’s heart of the matter.

– Activate scriptural truth so it changes you from the inside-out.

– Bring bible stories to life.

– Use scripture to become a powerful prayer warrior.

– Cultivate a hunger for God’s Word.

– Dig deeper into Hebrew and Greek meanings, to gain greater insight.
– Encounter God’s heart for you.

This workshop is $30.*

Join me on Tuesday, June 18 at 6:00 p.m. ET via Zoom (the event will also be recorded).

Bring your bible, a journal, and expect to grow in love with God’s Word. Register today.

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* The charge for this event covers the costs it takes to run this encouraging ministry. If you feel led to donate more to this ministry, please let me know.

Are You Waiting on God?

March 7, 2024

purposefulfaith

faith, hope, No Fear

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The text read: “When you get off the plane there will be a cheering committee waiting for you!”

Wow, now that’s a thought, and quite a picture, for that matter. I wish there was a cheering committee everywhere I went. Wouldn’t that be fun?

I knew, though, this was a unique time. I was the last one to arrive to a specific city amongst a group of other women who got there earlier. They were waiting for me. My plane arrived an hour or so later. When I got there, we would all jet off in a rental car. It was kind of them to wait for me. They didn’t have to. I could have ridden solo.

But they did. Their waiting honored me. It valued me. It showed me they trusted that my plane would arrive and that we would all absolutely make our way, together.

Waiting, in large part, is trusting. It is faith that says: this person is coming. And I trust them to do that.

When we wait on God, we trust Him. When we say He will show up even though His timing feels a day past due, we honor Him. When we say, absolutely He will arrive, we value His character of faithfulness.

There is only one thing God can be: faithful.

He may show up in a different way than we think. Just as I may show up and look different than these new friends expected – or I may have to make them wait a little more at the luggage carousel – sometimes God shows up differently.

He is the Maker of Heaven and Earth; He has every right to do this.

Either way, we can bank on this: His plan is the absolute best for us!

What would it look like for us to wait with joy? With anticipation? With thankfulness?

Indeed, God is coming! Always, Jesus shows up! Victory can’t be taken from Him!

“Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength.” (Isa 40:31)

This verse is true because while waiting feels excruciating, the joy of His coming is exhilarating.

“Take heart! Christ has overcome the world!” (Jo 16:33) He not only has the whole world in His hands, but also what you are waiting for!

Prayer: Father, you have a good plan for me. Your timing is perfect. I ask you to give me the strength to wait and to trust you. I ask that I can wait in a way where I am full of joy, praise and hope. I want to honor you with all my heart, mind, and soul. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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When You are Waiting on God

January 17, 2024

purposefulfaith

faith, fear, hope

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Riding in the car, flustered, I called out to God, “Why, God, why? Why does it seem there is a hold back to my life? Why are the dreams of my heart not yet happening? Why have I asked but not received? Why don’t you give me what I need? You own everything!”

I launched out some prayerful questions and let them hang in the air, and then mindlessly continued to drive. My mind trailed off…

Soon, I was thinking of my kids… Frankly, when they ask for anything my first instinct is to give it to them! You want ice cream? Of course. You love that new toy? I’ll get it for you. You want to go somewhere today? I’ll take you there.

My first instinct is to give everything.

Then it hit me — God’s first instinct is to give me everything. He wants to give. He loves to give even more than I do!

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Mt. 7:11)

Yet, there are only two reasons I hold back from my kids:

1. Because I have something better for them later than what they want now.
For instance: I may not buy them a pack of candy at the store, because I baked them a whole key lime pie, with whipped cream on the top, for them to enjoy later.

2. Because my “no” now paves a way for them to receive a million better yeses later.
For example: I may take away tv or video games until they learn the attitude of gratitude, because I know it is that very attitude that will open job opportunities, friendships, connections, doorways and blessings that will far surpass a momentary game.

God wants to give to us not just what is best for our “now”, but rather, what is best for the million little opportunities he has set up on the road called “life”. God, in all-knowing power, is willing to sacrifice short-term happiness for long-term, sustained gain. Why? Because: 1. He loves us that much. 2. He wants us to partake in a full-fledged buffet, more than a measly snack 3. He is developing character that can carry what He wants to give.

Waiting is preparing us to walk in His greater glory, His greater gifts, with the right attitude, in a way that He gets all the glory. God’s timing is perfect.

Prayer: Father, I admit to you, sometimes I don’t understand. Sometimes I can’t comprehend why things happen as they do, however I trust you. I trust your timing. I trust your teaching. I trust your leading. I trust your power at work in my waiting. I ask you to help me to lean on you in the gap of what I want and what I have not yet seen. You are working there. You are not done yet. I ask you to come and complete the good work that you have begun in me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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When Communication Goes Wrong

December 13, 2023

purposefulfaith

awe, faith, grace, hope

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My daughter said something that I couldn’t entirely make out from the front seat of the car. Still, I knew where she was going with this whole line of thinking. She’d talked like this 100 times, so I instinctively blurted out, “Don’t even think about doing that!”

Suddenly, there was silence. And more silence. I glanced in the rearview mirror to see what was going on. It was then, when I saw her destroyed face, that I knew I did something horribly wrong…

“Mom, did you even hear what I said?” she asked.

“Umm…” I muttered.

My heart sank. An assumption in my mind effectively trampled the goodness flowing out of her heart. She didn’t say something wrong; she was saying something good.

I’m horrible.

I’m learning that when assumption or presumption direct my conversation, it usually leads to contention. I have been guilty of this with my husband, too.

Especially, when I say things like:

You always…
You never…
I know he will…

Negative declarations over my husband, set me up to walk in presumption and assumption. Rather than giving my husband the benefit of the doubt and space to do a new thing, I put faith in an expected outcome, and offer him no space to try out a new thing. All this furthers offense and solidifies negative patterns.

We butt heads. Old cycles continue, on repeat. We both are on edge.

Ever been there? Maybe your husband does that to you. I know it hurts.

In the bible, the Pharisees were fast assumption-makers about Jesus when he cast out a demon.

“. . . they said . . . “it is only by Beelzebub, the prince of demons, that this fellow drives out demons.” But Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.” (Mt. 12:24-25)

To assume and presume is to fill the supernatural gap where God wants to move with our own naturally-minded nonsense. It’s like bridging a gap with icky gum, rather than allowing God to construct his bridge of solid rock, so we can effectively cross over into a new way of being and going.

Carnally-minded, non-grace giving words, tear down not only things of the Lord and passages to new ways of going, but also, our very own houses.

“A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.” (Prov. 14:1)

God shows us another way to breakthrough:
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Eph. 4:29)

What would it look like for you to extend grace before the recipient even deserves it? How might that change the face of your relationship?

If you want more wisdom, strength and practical help for your marriage, join the “Help My Marriage Workshop” this Thursday (tomorrow), December 14th live or via recording.

Gain strength for your marriage, as well as:
1. Practical strategies to believe God when everything looks dark and dim.
2. Breakthrough testimonies and stories to help you persevere.
3. Prayer strategy that defeats the devil’s schemes.
4. Ways to set up boundaries that safeguard your heart and your children.
5. Prayer and encouragement.

Prayer: Father, I repent of believing lies. Help me to see those around me through your eyes of love. Let me believe the best, instead of rashly thinking the worst. Give me grace to have hope in every relationship. In Jesus’ name. Amen.