I thought about bringing them in. But, if I do everything will get turned upside down. There will be questions, problems, ideas and suggestions about how I should do things. There will be recommendations for how the games should be played and different ideas on how the event should look. There will be deep discussions on outfits. Whether to serve mushrooms or asparagus. There will be rabbit trails I am too busy to commit to – and honestly could care less about.
I want to move alone. I want to lead the charge. Is there anything wrong with that?
People = Problems
I like:
Kelly = Leader People = Quiet doers
Hate me if you will, but I am being completely honest. Sometimes I can’t handle people. I’ve always had an issue with them. They get loud. They get opinionated. They get political. They get whiny. They get long-winded (you open your mouth to speak only to have the words stolen from you). They get advice-oriented, especially when you already have a good plan in motion. They diss your ideas. They judge all the time…! They get critical. They hurt you.
Sometimes it feels better to shove people
down a rabbit hole and cover the top,
then let them give voice to things that might hurt you.
Ever noticed?
I throw them a carrot every now and then if they’ve been good. If they’ve been obedient and rule-sensitive down there.
But, if they’ve been a vwery bad rabbit, I tend to:
– Ignore them.
– Try to advise, derail or shush them.
– Avoid them
– Squeeze them out.
– Talk about them behind their back or in my head.
– Get filled up with so much steam, I exhale scolding words.
I punish those disobedient rascals. Mostly, I punish them because I am afraid of them.
Oh, boy…it’s true.
I am afraid they’ll: look better than me, come up with better ideas than me, steal my show, be liked more by other people, grace the world better than me, make me realize the ugly parts of myself.
Can’t have Kelly feeling uncomfortable! No way, friends. That is the first rule of avoidance.
Better to diss than be dissed, right? Better to be the first one to walk out on that boyfriend, than to have him dump you. Better to let your eyes roam the room with your eyes, than to have others do it to you. Better to step away than have to deal with your friend liking the other girl more. Better to disassociate than associate with potential pain.
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Phil. 2:3
There’s that…
It looks the opposite of my approach. It’s one of those verses you recite because it sounds so beautiful. It sounds so Jesus. It sounds like, “Yes! I am great and humble and self-sacrificing and writing for Jesus (or fill in whatever holy excuse you use to not really love).
Self-protection is not holy affection, friends.
It’s a sack of nasty pride.
Am I being too hard on you – and on me?
Maybe. We’ve been hurt. It’s been painful. People have played – not nice. I know, I really know. It stinks.
Let’s throw a pout-party and squeeze our face muscles real tight and remember their icky-ness. Let’s.
Then, let’s toss them to the wind. Let’s let them fly away from us, because those past pains are holding us up from receiving present love. We are missing moments. We are losing joy. We are hiding away and into ourselves. We are losing the depths the real warmth that comes from letting someone really knowing you.
Our pride party is pointless.
Our joy is incomplete.
Our glass isn’t half empty, it is depleted.
He who is faithful to love operates in the gaps of people’s messes. If we are looking for pariahs of perfection, they don’t exist, but He does. He will layer in love, where they have left holes. Friends, it is not a person we are looking to fill us, it is God. We find him in the holes of man, for that’s where he leaves us – holy.
Prayer for Recovery of Relationships:
Dear Lord, today, I confess, I get scared. I get scared that someone will hurt me the same way as yesterday. It feels like a very real, present and oncoming threat. Help me trust you. Help me leave my heart in your hands, knowing that your wrapping of it is a covering that no man can penetrate. Help me believe that you are good, even when man is messed up. Help me know that my identity is in you and it is not indicative of man’s opinion. Lead me in your grace, mercy and fearlessness. Amen.
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“Well, this isn’t how you prayed this moment would turn out.”
The thought passed through my filter of truth and circled my mind on repeat. I knew it was a lie, but I listened to it. I stood there with my four-year-old, who was starting a new school, and tried to hold back tears.
His own tears flowed freely.
“I want to go to old school,” he said repeatedly. The school staff gathered around, trying to calm him.
“Buddy, this is your school now. You’re going to have lots of fun and you get to go to school with Jay,” I said, faking composure.
Big brother stood beside us, cool as a cucumber. He told little one everything was going to be okay and talked about the things he was going to do with his class.
I looked at my firstborn’s cherub-like face with amazement. He was a little beacon of sunshine in this mess of a morning. A reminder from God that He was still there.
The guidance counselor distracted little one with a walk over to the school’s pet lizard and settled him. With her prompting, I snuck outside to my car, praying my baby’s day would improve.
My day did not. A rough morning with my youngest turned out to be only the start of hours of chaos and like an old habit, I questioned God again.
Why is this happening? Please, God. Make it stop.
For weeks, anxiety over life’s circumstances had been mounting. I worried about my youngest starting school. I worried about a family conflict. My mind turned to the baby growing inside me and I worried about the postpartum months.
You’re not going to have anyone to help you. You’re going to be alone.
With each lie I listened to, I was more overwhelmed. And this crazy day was the culmination of it all, begging to verify all my worries were true.
Except they weren’t.
Those beacons of light that began with my firstborn’s calm demeanor kept coming. A friend offered to help with the kids at the last minute when I needed to go to the doctor.
You’re not alone. You have friends to lend you a hand.
In the middle of a pregnancy scare, I called my doctor’s office to set up a spur of the moment prenatal visit. And in a practice with a dozen doctors, I got an appointment with the one I trusted the most.
I’m here with you in the chaos, child. I haven’t gone anywhere.
When troubles abound, we’re tempted to question God. It’s our human nature. But you know what? The flesh is a liar.
It lied to Eve in the garden when she listened to the serpent and felt like she was lacking something, even though she lacked nothing. It lied to David when, in the midst of being pursued by Saul, he thought God had abandoned him. (Psalm 13:1)
Our circumstances may change like the wind, but God’s faithfulness does not.
He is steady and constant, reaching into our problems with a soft whisper, “I am with you. I go behind you and before you.”
That pregnancy scare? It turned out to be a false alarm. And my sweet Gabe transitioned into his new school with ease after a rough first morning. While I know things won’t always turn out the way I desire, my chaos-filled day served as a reminder of one simple truth: God never leaves.
The next time you’re in a middle of a storm, look for the beacon of light. It may be as faint as a jet stream, but it’s there. And when you find it remember at your weakest point, He is strong.
He’s whispering to you in the storm. You just have to focus your ears and listen.
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Abby McDonald is a writer who can’t contain the lavish love of a God who relentlessly pursues here, even during her darkest times. When she’s not chasing her two little boys around, she loves hiking, photography, and consuming copious amounts of coffee with friends.
I got to the end of the day, pulled into the driveway, stared out the front windshield and laid down a verdict, “I didn’t succeed at loving. My morning goals – looked like a blown-out tire by afternoon.
Sure, I began the day with aspirations a mile long – I’d do great things with God, we’d pour out love on people, we would encourage the world with the love of Jesus. But then, life happened. Ugh. I felt much more like a woman on a treadmill – working up a sweat and getting nowhere – than a woman on a mission of grand importance.
I exhaled. Scrunched down in my seat. Clenched the steering wheel.
I stink. God, I am sorry that I didn’t win for you today. I am sorry that I let you down. My heart is to go all out for you, but I lost.
Have you sat like me –
wanting to make progress only to end up discouraged?
I recently signed up for Michael Hyatt’s Free To Focus Productivity Summit. Reason being? I have a minuscule amount of time to complete a massive amount of ministry. I need help.
Learning a ton, Michael said something that struck me; it clicked: Not keeping up, makes you feel like you are losing. Feeling like your losing diminishes productive confidence.
My confidence ride likes waves. I go high when I am confident, but when the waves crash – so do I. I eat it.
With this, I wonder, shouldn’t my confidence look more steady, more consistent?
More like Jesus?
More grace-filled, less about getting ahead?
More locked and loaded on eternity, less concerned with check-marks?
More set on God’s big mission, less engrossed with endless busyness?
How does God see confidence?
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence,
so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Heb. 4:16
I might say,“Do more”, but God says, “Be more with me. Come more – to me.”
What if I no longerlived like a temperature gauge –
hot and on fire with passion one day, cold in defeat the next?
I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish;
no one will snatch them out of my hand. Jo. 10:28
Godly confidence is knowing that God will never let you go.
It is less in what we do,
or how we see things, and more in who He is – and what he does.
He has our future. Confidence!
He knows our way. Confidence!
He will be faithful. Confidence!
We can fly arms wide open into his will. Confidence!
We can fall and he will still make my fly. Confidence!
We can not know the way – but he will. Confidence!
Confidence in Jesus, can’t be stolen, revoked or denied. It is a solid rock; it does not waver.
On what ground does your confidence stand confidence?
Achievement? People pleasing? Perfection? Performance? Busyness? Perhaps it is time to exchanges confidence that crashes like waves for rock-solid confidence that can’t be stolen.
4 Foundational Truths that Breed Confidence
There is no effective building of anything unless the Lord truly resides over everything. Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. Ps. 127:1
God’s work is less about what you do and more about what He’s already decided to do. For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Phil. 1:6
You don’t need to fear, God protects you from the snares. For the LORD will be your confidence And will keep your foot from being caught. Prov. 3:26
You don’t have to know where you are going, just that God is going there with you. Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Heb. 11:1
The real power of confidence transcends our natural eye. When we pull our strength from the supernatural, something amazing happens – we often do the supernatural. Suddenly, focus is exactly what we have and progress is exactly what we get. It never comes by our strength – but always comes by His. This removes the pressure. It is a heavenly movement on our behalf, not a heart-attack ridden movement by our striving.
This kind of confidence? It makes all the difference.
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Some nights, my little girl stops me from heading out of her bedroom after I’ve tucked her in.
Before I move on to the next kid’s room, she needs me to help her sort through scary questions, unfathomable for a just-turned-9 year-old. Matters of life and death and everything in-between.
It’s a gift to talk deep with her, because I get to point her to the HOPE I know, again and again.
I get to help her see where Jesus resides within the gains and the losses of this world.
But it also tears my heart out. She’s seen enough now to know it’s not all going to be okay. Not in the way we would like it to be.
She’s seen the broken way of things here. She’s walked through loss and several near-losses with us. She’s wiped tears and cut out pink heart-shaped cards, adding stickers and cursive I love you’s. She’s served up comfort in mugs of hot tea with a side of dark chocolate & almonds.
She knows things I wish she didn’t know.
It’s a terrible world, one with ISIS and earthquakes and anger and leaving and loss. It’s a world where we sometimes shake our heads and cry and say I don’t know. I don’t understand.
Recently a friend of ours lost his sister suddenly. She was younger than me.
She’d had a hard run, and when he stood to speak at her funeral, he said, It seemed like she could never really catch a break in life.
He shared what he has left of her, his memories. He talked about how she loved to put together 5,000-piece puzzles, and laughed that there was one currently spread across a table at Mom and Dad’s house–missing that one piece like always. Then he asked a question, and it left a lasting picture in my mind.
What’s the most important part of a puzzle?
It’s the top of the box. The completed view.
The picture of how things are supposed to look in the end.
Without that, we don’t know where we’re headed.
Without it, the puzzle doesn’t make sense.
That day, remembering his sister, was a little like putting together a puzzle without the box top. Without that one missing piece.
Why did God allow it? We don’t know. Will it all be okay? Yes, and also no.
What we do know: Jesus resides within the loss. It hurts, and God still moves. He is working toward the good of drawing us each to Him. One day, the losses will end. He will bring so much beauty out of all this chaos.
It will be okay, but only because Jesus never loses the view of the top of the box.
It will be okay, because of Who God is–the Eternal God and the Everlasting Father. Because He is Good and He cares for us. Because He is full of Mercy and Kindness and Grace. It will be okay, because we trust in Him, even when we don’t understand.
We see blurred images in this mirror, but one day we will see clearly.
Life is a puzzle, and today we’re missing the finished view.
Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. Three things will last forever–faith, hope, and love–and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:12-13, NLT
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Angela Parlin is a wife and mom to 3 rowdy boys and 1 sweet girl. In addition to spending time with friends and family, she loves to read and write, spend days at the beach, watch romantic comedies, and organize closets. But most of all, she loves Jesus and writes to call attention to the beauty of life in Christ, even when that life collaborates with chaos. Join her at www.angelaparlin.com, So Much Beauty In All This Chaos.
At risk of sounding like a narcissist, I observe myself. I notice how I am. I take inventory of the little things I do – or know I shouldn’t do, but do them anyway. I see it all. The thoughts that go helter-skelter and wishy washy and down-in-the-dumpsy. It’s a cartoon. Me.
I just moved somewhere new. Everything was late. The whole house didn’t show up. The family got sick. You’ve all heard about all this before. People acted up. Blah. Blah. Blahdie blah.
These things happen a lot:
Sky-high plans throw my emotions overboard.
Devastating days end up tossing me to and fro.
The unexpected sinks me.
Clouds hang low and dim.
Threatening.
I watch them move in; I see how they work me.
Paul says to he’s learned to be content in all situations.
I’ve learned to be content in none – that aren’t advantageous.
Why can’t I just be Bible Barbie – all beautiful, shiny and perfectly obedient? Dang. I have to deal with me.
The other day, thinking along these lines, and all that wasn’t right, I drove my kid to school. I recycled the same junk in my head: “I will never get things done, I can’t do that, I don’t know how to handle that person, I feel like crud, it is hot, I am sweaty, how fast can I get them to school?”
But, something flipped, in a moments notice. At first, I hardly noticed her – the little old lady shuffling by…
…until she worked her way directly in front of me and my two nearly-leashed kids. She stopped, turned, looked, smiled and said, “It is such a beautiful day isn’t it?”
I wanted to glare.
“No. It’s not beautiful. It’s humid – over 100 degrees humid, hot and uncomfortable out here.”
I didn’t say that.
Instead, I remembered from somewhere deep within, “Respect old-folk.” I half-smiled, nodded, “Yes.”
She sauntered off, knowing her job was done. The old are wise. They know, less words hit with more power. Anyway, now, not so much glaring – and more staring – I stood, watching as she worked her way to the door.
Old-lady was a day-changer.
She chose to hand out good, even when she stood right in the center – of bad.
I can be like her.
Because, what I see determines how I will be.
If I see the good, I will feel good.
If I see the dire, I will feel dire.
If I see hope, I will feel hope.
If I feel hope, I can give hope.
If I see the King, I will shine him. So others might see too.
I started observing other things, things outside of myself.
The next day, I came across that same crossing guard lady – the one I’d seen every day for the past week. The one with a smile as wide as a mack truck. Yep, there she was. She waved at me – again. I got the goosebumps. She not only chose to see her day as good, but handed it out like food. With every passing car, she offered morning love, well-wishes and abounding hope. Only her arm and face moved, but that was enough. She was a day-changer.
Could I be like that?
Might a small shift towards God’s goodness make me ooze goodness?
Could I be a day-changer in a world heavy, dense and dark with distrust and defeat?
Thinking further, I remembered – that janitor. She worked as if she was in heaven. I’d go in the gym locker room and there she’d be, singing her heart out. My husband told me there was something special about her. She never stopped smiling. One day, I asked her, “What’s the deal with you?”
“Jesus,” she said. “Jesus.”
Go figure.
She is a day-changer. She doesn’t have to spill one bible verse; people get to see him- face-to-face – through her. Despite the deplorable job of cleaning the over splash of toilet seats, the crevices of odorous lockers and the pool water piles near sweaty benches, she finds her joy – and shares it – unhindered. She lights up that locker room like no one’s business.
A day-changer.
A day-changer is someone, who, by faith,
believes in the everlasting joy of God more than the ongoing pain of this world.
A day-changer is someone who sees the outcome of good,
before she trusts the outcome of bad.
A day-changer is someone who knows that a small word of encouragement
can make a world of difference.
A day-changer is someone who grabs grace like a much-needed brace,
so God can show good face.
A day-changer is someone so sold out to God’s mission
that people take one look and feel recommissioned.
Simply said, a day-changer is one who stops continually processing bad
and starts – incessantly processing God’s good.
Could you and I be day-changers?
About the Day-Changer Challenge:
Grab hold of the most overwhelming thing in your life right now. Do you have it by the neck yet?
Start here. Let go of your stranglehold. Know, God can, where – you can’t. Ask Him to believe, by faith, and not by sight. Ask him for a positive outlook over your negative one. Ask him to unveil his banner of love, like a parachute, high and wide, over you.
See it. Hope in it. Respond to it. Let grace seep in. Let grace seep out. Claim it.
I am not talking prosperity gospel – getting fame, fortune or fantasies. I am talking about walking – in the light of God’s promises instead of – the death of your day.
Bottom-line challenge: Find God’s positive before you dwell on your negative –
and then let it ooze into the world.
In a backup on the highway?
Thank God for the moment longer you get to stay with him – and smile at the person stuck next to you.
Have screamers in the back of the car?
Praise God that he protects them. Delight them and play the screaming game too.
Confronted a testy family member?
Remember how God has loved you in weakness. Give them a hug.
Dealing with a medical issue?
Consider the ways it makes you rely on God. Encourage that other sick person in the waiting room.
Let his love transfer – reach deep for him; his compassionate arms will extend. Like the wise old lady, he’ll step in front of you with simple words with profound impact. You’ll do astounding – because of Him.
Become a day-changer.
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Eph. 3:20-21
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Yesterday, I pegged a bottle of sparkling water at my shopping cart. I lost it. After battling the running-of-the-bulls (aka. mothers at Target) pushing to grab glue, paper and alcohol (aka. hand sanitizer), I lost it. After standing in a 7-person deep line, making it to the front, only to be informed the lane was close, I lost it. After seeing said-cashier, roam around aimlessly with nothing to do, I lost it. After dealing with two toddlers who were sleep and food-deprived screaming gymnasts in my cart, I lost it. After contrapting them safe into their car seats, only to find a security device still wrapped around my sons newly-purchased USB headphones, I lost it. After opening the trunk and being pegged by bags and bottles of water that wouldn’t stop rolling down the parking lot. I. REALLY. Lost. It.
I. Threw. Things.
I tried to ruin a cart with canned water.
Today, it happened again. The moving truck said he’ll be late – by 2 days. 48 hours of whoops-we-scheduled-you-wrong. How does that happen?
I banged my head. I caught a cold. I blasted people. Was it their fault? It didn’t matter.
I was at my wits end. Wits end is the place where you are convinced your life could end if you continue on this warpath.
Here:
1.) Everyone is enemy.
2.) Peace is as lost as your once-rational mind.
3.) Anguish, anger and annoyance beat up inanimate and intimate object alike.
After you act bad enough, you say, “Why am I losing it? I’m supposed to be Christian,
not a woman of demolition!”
Shame settles.
There were about 10 instigators that got me to this point. People who knew the wrong word to speak, arguments that bubbled, fears that seemed as prevalent as Zika mosquitos. I hadn’t been bitten, but was already dying.
I wonder what Jesus thinks of me when I lose it?
I know God says be slow to anger. Ja. 1:19
I know God says anger lands in the laps of fools. Ec. 7:9
I know God says to rid yourself of anger. Col. 3:8
But, I also know, Jesus didn’t die to demand absolute-perfection,
but to cover ever-abounding weakness (with his perfection).
In Jesus’ time, there were perfect-looking ones.
Take a look at how Jesus talked to these types: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.“ Mt. 23:27
I suppose, what is comforting is – even in the heat of my 100-mile an hour, metal pitch – I didn’t look like a “whitewashed tomb” beautiful on the outside. Rather, I looked different: Ugly on the outside, wanting to be alive and clean on the inside.
While we judge ourselves on outward actions,
God is far more concerned about inner intentions.
Sometimes, better is a purely wrecked heart before God, than a white-washed tomb before man.
Sometimes, better is a crazed woman rapidly-approaching God, than one hiding behind doilies, daisies or drugs.
Sometimes, better is an unleashed moment, if it brings long-needed cathartic repentance before the King.
Let me tell you, Jesus can handle your worst moment, tantrum, fight or foible.
It is not too much for him.
He won’t disown you.
He won’t back out.
We think that Jesus can’t handle us, yet he handled the most deadly carcinogen, called sin, on the cross. He handled whips on his side. He handled insults and spit, vile and vitriol. He handled all that.
Can’t Jesus handle a LaCroix Passion Fruit flavored
can hurled at a red cart?
I think he can.
He can handle Kelly-unleashed, untamed and unruly. He can handle you too.
I guess, looking back, rather than throwing bullets at plastic, I could have thrown my head right onto the steering wheel, shut down the cries a seat behind me – and just cried too. I could have called out. I could have pleaded to feel His love. I could have let Him know – I feel crazy. I could have breathed deep. I could have given myself an encouraging word, a word that says, “This is hard Kelly. There is a lot going on. Extend yourself the patience and grace that God would.” I could have heard the voice of Jesus.
Today, though, I look back and remind myself, God doesn’t tally up the ways I defect from His Christian fan club. He doesn’t cast me to the long-line in order to reach His throne. He doesn’t demote me. He doesn’t despise me.
His plans are to uprise me.
More and more, I am seeing, I must come undone, so I can be redone in Christ’s image. When I get beyond my mind, I find his.
Sometimes, it takes losing it to find Him. Surely, it is not the best path to God, but sometimes, it is the path that makes you realize – that control you thought you owned? Well, you never even purchased to begin with. He did, when he died on the cross. With this, you find yourself on your knees, in a low stance, that almost always raises you high – directly into new hope.
Something works, even when you feel everything about you doesn’t.
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I wanted to be with God. I wanted to spend time with him – I had carved out this time for just that – so I climbed up onto his lap, imagining he was holding me.
I craved love.
Yet, as I rested in his arms, I realized something – something I had never had before: I was scared. Like a newborn, with arms flailing, my body tensed. I felt at-risk, vulnerable and, most of all, I felt like God might hurt me.
Where did this come from God? I never knew.
When you get before God,
he gets his truth before you.
And this is how it is. Nearly every time I make an effort to come before God – by waiting to hear, expecting his Word to work and being with him – I dig up some little flicker of gold that is transformational to my spiritual walk.
This time, it was this: If I believe God’s a God of injury, not ministry, my approach towards him will always be cautionary.
Like that game of “catch-me-when-I-fall,” if I don’t believe I can let go, fall back and be caught, I’ll never fall – fully surrendered. Instead, I’ll imagine my head being split open – every. single. time.
Internally, I will put on an imaginary helmet; I will:
– Strive
– Fear
– Worry
– Overdo it
– Forget about him
– Get distracted
– Live anxious
So here I stand. Wanting to fix. Because that is what we do when things are broken – we fix. Right? I want to get out my screwdriver and adjust my loose bolts. Or get out the jackhammer and hit myself over the head with it a couple times. Or to recite a bible verse and get my mind straight. I want to rewire and redo myself until I FULLY. TRUST. GOD.
Yet, a voice of true inner-ministry rises; God’s voice:
Draw near to (me) and (I) will draw near to you. Ja. 4:8
There is a counselor inside us, the Holy Spirit, wanting to counsel. There is a God of love, who waits for us to receive his gift. There is a moment of joy that is ours if we wait for its arrival.
Like the UPS truck. If we look out for God, we will see him drive up.
If the gates are closed, we will miss him. If they are open, we will get the gift we’ve been looking for.
When he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth.
He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears,
and he will tell you what is yet to come. (Jo. 16:3)
I want this. I want to be so held by God’s heart that my fleshly heartbeat fades under the resounding covering of his. I want to be able to let this love in; this holds risk.
Risk like:
I will be let down.
I will be fully seen and not accepted.
I will have to change.
I will be rejected by God.
Usually, we hold God back,
because at one time or another,
man held us back.
God’s love will never let us down. It looks not like that person who hurt you. It looks not like those feelings that destroyed you. It looks not conditional. Or dependent on performance. It is steady. It is perfect. It works. It heals. It renews. It changes you and me into the likeness of Jesus. It opens new doors. It heals relationships. It mends a broken heart. It cleans up old messes. It induces forgiveness that brings life. It creates wild momentum in your heart, neighborhood and even the world. It brings nations back together and brings Jesus to earth.
Let it in.
Prayer:
God, the truth is: Vulnerability feels vulnerable.
Openess feels open. Love feels risky.
You feel overwhelming.
Help me feel okay with the power of your power to change me. Help me trust you more. Help me be in your love. Help me feel your acceptance. Help me know you won’t leave me. Help me abide in you. Amen.
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My daughter felt hot. Hand on head, all I could think was, “Great God. Add this horrid sickness to the list.”
Add it to the uncertainty of our future.
Add it to kids acting up.
Add it to no time to get my work done.
Add it to no energy to continue pushing through.
Add it to the pain of an injury that won’t relent.
Add it to my anxiety levels as of late.
Add it to feeling alone and isolated.
The sum = discouragement.
Are you in that place where the face of God
looks far smaller than the weight of your problems?
Maybe finances are tumbling. Maybe fears are rising. Maybe hope for a family member is vanishing. Maybe car problems are plaguing. Maybe insecurity is surfacing. Maybe a job is harassing. Maybe health is faltering.
Last night, I laid in bed. Ever notice? When you silence your mind, you have a choice: You can either fall into worry or worship. Wonder or wrestling. Wrongs or rights. I sunk under the swamp of worry; floundering and fearful.
You all probably know, my name is Kelly. In Gaelic, my name means: warrior.
What if rather than being a worrier or a wrestler with life, we became warrior’s with truth?
Be strong, and let us fight bravely
for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in his sight.
2 Samuel 10:12
Joab, captain of David’s army, knew: You fight the good fight believing
God’s good way will prevail.
If I am warrior – if you are too – can’t we fight in the same way?
Can’t we fight, saying, “I’ll be strong, I’ll let God’s truth to reign in my mind, relationships and over my fears. The Lord will do what is good in his sight.”
What peace might that bring?If our internal words were more warrior than wussy?
If they sounded like this:
God things don’t look good. They look tough, dark, barren, unmoving, but your will is working. I believe that. I believe you can. I believe you will. I am not going to sink into discouragement. I am not going to fall into the strangulating hands of despair. I am not going to become oozy and doozy with fear. Forget it.
Not today, no God, not today. Today, I am choosing another way.
Today, the way of peace is the way of faith.
Faith says: I see horrendous before me, but God sees heavenly. He is working it out and that is enough.
Faith says: God even though every door looks closed, God can open them with just an exhale of breath.
Faith says: A good God is in control. I trust him.
Faith says: Yes, a war in motion, yet I am not the commander. He knows the way.
Faith says: I don’t have to know, because God does.
Faith says: Never once has God let me down and never will He.
Faith says: Evil may want to leave me ruined and in pieces, but God wants to leave me ruined in his love.
Faith says: Hold firm, like the disciples did – love always wins.
Faith says: My wait isn’t for nothing, for – in me – God is working something.
Faith says: I need not be leashed by feelings, but unleashed by God’s love.
Faith says: I will focus on his more versus continually perceiving my less.
Faith says: My joy found in Christ, through suffering, becomes His light of glory shed upon the world.
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Heb. 11:1
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So, #RaRa team, I totally flubbed it up yesterday and missed the linkup. Can you even believe it? I got so overwhelmed with life that I overlooked this post. Forgive me! I am sorry; I never pressed publish.
With this, I don’t know if anyone knows about our rain-date today. Will you share this post on social media to help get the word out about this random Wednesday linkup?
In the movies I watch, they tend to throw out the command, “Stand down!”
It’s this moment where the person in charge, usually some Captain or Corporal or Chief gives a word that calls all effort to halt. It calms the strong ambitious and unruly one wanting to push ahead with might, power and strength.
“Lay it Down. Give it up. Cease-fire. Stand Down.”
There is a Creator, a Captain and a Care-taker, who has a much higher view than we do. God sees the good ending to our present moment, far more clearly than we do. He also sees all the steps we need to take to get there.
The Captain knows, what you do not know.
Where are you prone to push ahead?
To overexert yourself – speaking a rash word, entering in when you should step out,
getting angry, rather than getting alone with God?
The commander has a word for you too: “Lay it Down. Give it up. Cease-fire. Stand down.”
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. Jo. 15:9
Standing down is remaining in God’s love.
I don’t do this. Remain.
Even right now, I am thinking of all that I need to do. I am writing these words, but my heart is thinking of the house I need to rent, the kids I need to get enrolled in school and the work that I need to do today. I only have 2 weeks until school starts. I want to start working. I need to get this post written. I am a hypocrite.
“Lay it Down. Give it up. Cease-fire. Stand down.”
What might it look like to leave – seen stress for God’s unseen love?
To just walk away from the overwhelming nature
and let God’s overwhelming nature pacify the fears?
I can’t help but think, where God is, light is. And, where light is – clarity focuses.
Are you, like me, looking for a way to go?
Perhaps, you and I are approaching it all wrong. What if instead of flicking on every light, we stayed in the dark and waited for his light to lead?
For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. Col. 3:3
Power is not in forging ahead, it is in standing down.
I don’t need to do, Jesus already did.
I don’t need to act great, Jesus is.
I don’t need to hide lies, for grace lies in repentance.
I don’t need to pretend I know, God knows.
I don’t need to fix, God already has the answers.
I don’t need to hide, unless it is in God’s shelter.
I don’t need to perform, the curtain closed and love won.
I don’t need to fear his leaving, God is steadfast and good.
“Lay it Down. Give it up. Cease-fire. Stand down.”
To stand down? It looks like this: 1. Lay it down: To give God what you’re trying to own. 2. Give it up: To step out in faith, knowing that his goodness will lead to a good result. 3. Cease-fire: To stop blaming other people, problems or circumstances.
In Christ, I rest.
Needing nothing less.
Nor nothing more.
For He is the door to my more.
He sees the battlefield.
He knows my way.
His battle is won at the end of my day.
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14 Bloggers. 14 Heart-Inspiring Mini-Posts. 14 New Bloggers to Check Out.
Join me today as I welcome mini-guest posts on my blog. We can’t read everything online, so I hope to provide a quick rundown of some great words being written. Check them out!
My story of marriage shattered and with it my childlike dream of love. But like Job, I found hope. My summertime musings turned into truth the day I invited God to take my simple dreams and make them into His beautiful reality. The key to dreaming is accepting God as the keeper and developer of the dreams.
I opened my heart and looked for Jesus in my life. I asked Him “why” questions over and over, and found my answers in Him. In the process, my dreaming didn’t stop, and in the reworking our patient God taught me this…
We nurture dreams when we feed them with hope, purpose and trust.
What begins as a fleeting thought can easily blossom into hope for the future. What looks good on paper may turn into a career that lasts for thirty years. What is broken can be made whole again.
Dreams are the visions we imagine and release to God to mold, shape and grow. When we let go, God creates amazing beauty. He makes all things beautiful!
He covers the sky with clouds; he supplies the earth with rain and makes grass grow on the hills. He provides food for the cattle and for the young ravens when they call. Psalm 147:8-9
When I tell my husband about an incident and the way it hurt my heart, he listens. Patient as usual. My phrases go something like this: “This happened. Then this happened. It was a mess. I felt____.”
Inevitably, he asks. “Why did that happen?”
I stammer. I don’t get it. I just know I’m hurting. Why do men have to solve everything anyway?
The conversation continues and he gently pushes.
He believes I need to recognize the “why” when something hard or hurtful happens. If a person is behind an issue, I need to assign them blame. Righteous blame…also known as responsibility.
Many people in the church complimented me on my strength. Little did they know that behind the strong façade I was a wreck. I kept smiling. Sometimes I said that I was tired, but nothing more.
I failed three out of six courses. The Lord was gracious. I was able to get a note from counseling center which allowed me to drop off those courses. There was no fail on my transcript. I couldn’t continue the program. I dropped out.
At the time, it looked like a defeat. I left my dream of becoming an environmental specialist behind. I was not going back to finish the program. How could I when I wasn’t able to pass even the smallest lab reports. Our God is so wise. Sometimes, when the road was not meant for us, He will let us to walk until we are crushed and can’t continue down that way.
With Him are wisdom and might; to Him belong counsel and understanding Job 12:13 NASB
My dream was buried under the rubble of personal and emotional problems. I became more focused on the Lord. I became more involved with my church. My heart became settled. Read more.
Sleep has always been a thorn in my side. I am a night owl who is required to rise early, and while I meet my responsibilities that require me to rise early, falling asleep is never easy. It doesn’t matter if I go to bed early, drink tea, take sleep aids, or try relaxation techniques. Those methods help to some degree, but they aren’t enough to lull me into a relaxing full night’s sleep.
I lie there tossing and turning, counting down the hours until I will have to get up. I begin to worry not only about what I may have forgotten, but also about whether I will get enough sleep. My mind races to figure out how to ensure that I have the energy I believe will be required to accomplish what I have planned for the next day.
Anxiety takes over because I pressure myself to perfectly manipulate circumstances that are beyond my control.
Then God reminds me that I am following Him, not the other way around. Read More.
Newsflash! God doesn’t give us a certain amount of faith and hope we use it for the correct issues. He gives us faith and grace for each moment, as we need it!
Despite these truths, at times it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around this. But this shows how little I know of God in comparison to how much there is to know of Him!
Honesty moment? It’s a tiny, little, teeny bit similar to how little I know about sports in relation to how much there is to know. (I mean let’s be real – I had to ask what sport the Blackhawks play. By the way, it’s hockey.)
I need to choose to understand that when God says He cares about me it includes the little things. Even things like college, jobs, internships, and friends (and learning how to make dinner without demolishing the kitchen!). He’s present in all those places, not just when I’m experiencing dramatic life change. Read more.
How Do You Break Free from Anxiety and Overcome Settling in Life?
A year ago, God asked me to do something ridiculous. He asked me to share my story; to write. He asked me to be honest, to unmask and let others know I struggled. When I struggled with anxiety, I felt shame because Christians aren’t supposed to worry. We aren’t supposed to be hopeless and feel desperate, and we aren’t supposed to quit.
Panic keeps you paused and passive.
God didn’t want me to remain muted and overlooked. He wanted me to be courageous and confident.
Me, the girl who likes to blend into the background?
Honestly, I still feel awkward.
I’m still afraid.
When you’re used to hiding, it’s hard to have confidence. I’m vowing to unmask and not withdraw this time.
“God, how can this be? The doctors said the mastectomy was necessary. I’d never dreamed I’d lose that. But I hoped after reconstruction I’d look normal.” With tears streaming down my cheeks, I stared at the pale hospital wall. “I’m only 34!” Now it had failed. What I anticipated rectifying the effects of cancer on my body, on my appearance, on me, had failed. Now the only option left was for me to gain thirty pounds and have a procedure requiring six months recovery.
I knew I’d never opt for it. I had three daughters ages 11,7, and two. I’d already lost two years with my family, stolen by cancer, no way I’d voluntarily surrender more.
“God,” I cried, shaking and sobbing alone in my hospital room, “I know You’ll redeem this. I just can’t imagine how.” I stared ahead, trying to comprehend it all. “But You will find a way somehow, some way; You’ll use this for good.”
“You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Man may judge by appearance, but I judge by the heart,” Scripture burned in my brain. “Your heart is beautiful,” His voice whispered into a mind struggling to comprehend such a concept.
I sobbed all afternoon, praying, “God help me fully trust You.” Read More.
Strength in Fragility: How To See Beyond Our Weaknesses
“God is pressing upon this season to see things from a new perspective. To recognize that although I may be fragile, who I am able to Trust in is not.”
God’s love never wanes, His strength never wavers, His comforting never ceases, and His guidance is resolute. Frailty becomes gift worthy when the weakness allows us the freedom to be our true self. This in turn allows the wonderful truths about our Lord and Savior to shine into our glass facade.
Our Lord invites us to embrace the insecurities within us and see them as stepping stones to greatness. He encourages us to believe his love is an oasis for our weakened spirit where we are able to sip his living water, revitalizing our soul and providing strength for the journey.” Read more.
10. Kim Fredrickson Author, “Give Yourself a Break: Turning Your Inner Critic into a Compassionate Friend” Twitter: @kimfredrickson
Practicing Self-Compassion
Having a terminal illness with no cure is rough to say the least. Despite such devastating news and the way my life has changed, I’ve been blessed by God’s support and the love and encouragement of family and friends. There are still blessings and things to be grateful for if you look for them.
Self-compassion (S-C) has helped me get through these tough times. When I was diagnosed with cancer, and then PF, I decided to be a good friend to myself. S-C helps me be kind and caring to myself in the ways I talk to myself, take care of myself, encourage myself, and accept the volumes of prayer and support my friends and family offer. I am committed to not turn on myself or abandon myself during these difficult times. God has not, and will not abandon me.
I know He has a purpose for PF in my life, and in the lives of others. I honestly wish I didn’t have to go through cancer or pulmonary fibrosis. I wish I would have a miraculous healing. I know God doesn’t waste any pain or hardships as I submit to Him and allow Him to use what has happened in my life for His purposes…
I googled Luke’s condition, marking the last time I’d experience peace for the next sixteen months. Hopes and dreams for my boy collapsed one by one with each account I read. When I wasn’t cluster feeding my infant, I was reading of botched surgeries and broken lives. I wasn’t sleeping and soon slipped into a dark place. Instead of enjoying my infant, our last, I found myself distancing myself from him. It hurt to love him. I’d lie him back in his crib as soon as I was done nursing him, simultaneously feeling guilty for not savoring those precious moments and knowing that lingering over him only caused more tears.
On one particularly bad night I reached out to a few of my Christian girlfriends. I was wracked with anxiety and depression and knew I could no longer do this on my own. I told them everything, Luke’s condition, my fears, our indecision, how utterly hopeless I felt. It was hard to press “Send” but also strangely freeing when I did. There is power in bringing the darkness into the light. And I was tapping into it.
I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. John 12:46
From an Outfit of Foolishness to Duds of Discernment
I felt God near me, and the morsels of His Word were enjoyable. I had been trying to read my Bible on a regular basis. I applied the plan to read the chapter from Proverbs that corresponds with the calendar day of the month since it has 31 chapters. It helped me begin the habit of spending time regularly feeding my spirit.
Then one day I started seeing a disturbing pattern. I wasn’t quite sure, so I skimmed for confirmation. Yep. It was there.
I saw myself accurately described in the verses I read. It was staring at me from the black text printed on the thin white paper of my Bible:
I. am. a. fool.
It was one of those moments when you get to the bathroom after sitting at the restaurant table with your friends, and you look in the mirror and discover what everyone else had probably already seen. Read more.
Recently I read that many of the craftsman and artisans who built the great European cathedrals didn’t live to see them completed. They never knew the satisfaction of seeing it all come together.
The craftsmen were more than skilled laborers performing a job in exchange for a livelihood. They viewed their work as service, even worship, to God. Many of them intentionally hid some of their best work within walls, fully intending it for HIM alone.
They weren’t afraid their work wouldn’t be seen; they knew the one who truly matters did see it. He sees. The Gospels remind me that he knows if a sparrow falls. The psalmist declares:
“You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through sleepless nights, each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.” (Psalm 56:8, The Message)
The challenge is clear. How can I move from feeling invisible to doing everything with the intention of being invisible?
I needed to know that I was enough. To know that others liked me and would include me. Unfortunately, it left me looking for acceptance among people, which will always leave us wanting for more. We can never please everyone and most won’t love us unconditionally.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. – Galatians 1:10
I’ve always been sensitive to being left out or left behind. I’ve had my feelings hurt unnecessarily at times when I’ve made assumptions about not being included. It’s been a process of years to heal from those wounds and slowly learn about my Father’s love and my worth in his eyes.
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10
McDonald is a writer who can’t contain the lavish love of a God who relentlessly pursues here, even during her darkest times. When she’s not chasing her two little boys around, she loves hiking, photography, and consuming copious amounts of coffee with friends.
I am not talking prosperity gospel – getting fame, fortune or fantasies. I am talking about walking – in the light of God’s promises instead of – the death of your day. 
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