Purposeful Faith

Tag - faith

It’s a Shame

It’s a shame I got so angry.
It’s a shame I didn’t give in to the demands and now, those people are still upset at me.
It’s a shame that I handled things all wrong and hurt people’s feelings.
It’s a shame that I regret it and can’t rewrite history.
It’s a shame. Or actually, I am a shame. I am a shame of a girl who should be ashamed of myself for how I acted.

This is the line the devil feeds me: “Oh, Kelly, look at you. . . you should be ashamed of yourself.”

And now, look what you’ve done:

They all hate you.
Everyone remembers.
You are a bad testimony.
You’ll never recover.
No one will ever support you.
You’re ruined.

He’s sneaky, that devil.

But I can be sneaky too. I can be. I’m sneaky when I remember: if I’ve confessed it, God’s forgiven it.

At this point, the face of that issue no longer faces me. Jesus’ love speaks louder than my history. Yet, I can be sure if there’s a voice still talking, it’s the enemy’s. And at this point, it will always sound like shame or regret.

But I don’t have to live with it. I can tell it to shut up. Here’s how. . . I say:

I am not controlled by what I’ve done, but the Word of Truth and the Spirit of life.
There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.
There is no perfect person and if that is my standard I will always fall. I can forgive myself.
God is my hiding place, and in Him no harm will touch me.
God knows the intentions of my heart.
The Lord watches over me, because I fear Him. (Ps. 33:18)
The Lord protects me; He is my shield. (Ps. 33:20)
The Lord thwarts any evil schemes coming against me. (Ps. 33:10)
I am not perfect, but the perfect sacrifice of Jesus perfectly covers me and marks me righteous.

I am fully restored in Christ.

And that’s how the voice stops talking. You tell it the truth.

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

When To End a Friendship?

When do you end a friendship?

This is both a hard question to ask, and perhaps, one we’ve all been confronted with. Are there times, reasons or seasons to pull away from a friend? And should we feel horribly guilty about it?

I stood facing exactly this type of decision only three weeks ago. I liked the girl, but she had been giving me far too much detailed advice about topics I never asked her input on. This annoyed me. It was as if she was rewriting my life with a pen I never handed her. It was as if she was telling me a list of things I should improve, but the hard part was she didn’t even know my story or what God was doing behind the scenes. She was quick to talk and slow to ask questions of understanding.

My finger was pointed at her. And my mind kept circling the thought, “Guard your heartCreate distance from her.”

This meant avoid her: Avoid confronting her. Avoid the problem and avoid dealing with the repercussions of having a real discussion.

But God bless my husband. He essentially told me, “Love has hard talks.”

It does? So I talked with her.

Which I’m so glad I did, because if I didn’t I never would have seen:

-How my wounds made me react quickly to her words.
-God had things for me to learn through this discussion.
-Her heart was in the right place.
-God has deeper healing for me.
-There are safe boundaries that can be set up.
-I am not always right.
-Communication about what works and what doesn’t is vital to any relationship.
-We both have good goals in mind.
-The enemy is sneaky and he loves to create division.

I am not perfect, and neither are my friends. I haven’t always been a good or an enduring friend but I am learning to give people the benefit of the doubt.

So to answer the question, “When do you end a friendship?” I don’t have all the exact answers and there are far too many nuances to explain in black ink…but I do know: you never ditch people like trash. That is for sure.

You talk and you tell. You love and love some more. You give and accept grace. You listen and you learn. You dive in and you uncover. You persist and listen to God’s direction.

You take the risk, even when you want to turn your back and walk away. Sure, there may be times God leads you to go a different path. But, before this point, you enter the difficult spaces and get real. You seek to understand.

Take a hard-learned lesson from me.

Prayer: God, I want to be a good friend. I want to be a person who is slow to anger, quick to listen, patient and kind. Grow me in this. Show me how to communicate well. In Jesus’ Name, I pray. Amen.

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

A Word on Other’s Advice

What is advice?

It is that which makes you feel guilty that you aren’t on the right track.
It is that which pressures you into doing something you don’t really feel right about.
It is that which tends to speak over God’s voice.
It is another person’s perceived answer to your deep heart problem.
It is unsolicited input that creates average output.

What opinions are coming at you? Are you reliant on them?

I spent years reliant. I needed your answer to my problem. I didn’t believe in myself much. I didn’t know if I could trust myself enough to not make a fool of myself. I thought you knew better than me. If I had an idea, I would change it if yours was different.

I was horribly pulled in every direction and completely unsure of my life-path.

Until, one day, I realized: I was on man’s course, not God’s.  Maybe this is the case for you too?

Little by little, voice by voice, we can become so swayed by others’ insight that we have no sight to see God’s unfolding plan for us. We hear all the swirling voices but miss God’s.  We may be sure we are on the right path, only to have someone else doubt us.

This is why prayer is paramount.

Praying hearts understand this truth: you can ask and expect God to answer. Often He answers by giving you peace. Peace for a specific road you want to travel. Or, He answers with a random word through a person (it often doesn’t sound like advice, but a random comment that strikes you). Or, He answers with a verse in your mind.  Or, He answers by putting a situation right in front of you.

The vital component to the answer is waiting. When we wait on God, we create space for the move He wants to make. Then, we gain certainty.

What advice does your heart need to turn away so you can turn toward God in prayer and follow Him?

Prayer: God, we want to hear you first and foremost. Soften the loud voices around us so that what comes through is your heart and your heart only. Give us a view of our best path. Lead us, with your arm around us. Grant us peace and certainty in our walk. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

I Said it in my Mind

Her: “I told you I didn’t want the banana.”
Me: “You did?”
Her: “Oh, wait, I said that to you in my mind.”

This really happened. Someone told me in her mind and expected me to hear, I guess. It seemed crazy. Outlandish. Ridiculous.

But is it?

How many times do we speak our mind within our mind, only hoping that another will pick up on what we are saying.

We think: I wish that boy would pick up his clothes.
We act: All huffy and puffy about bending over.

We think: Why can’t she be on time?
We act: Impatient, looking at our watch the second she walks in the door to prove our point.

In our mind, we often have a running tally of what others are doing and saying wrong. But unlike the girl who didn’t want the banana, we don’t admit it. Instead, it builds and builds and builds…

Until….dun. dun. Dun… the day. . . dun. Dun. Dun…we EXPLODE!!!!!! And we go off on the person. We lose our cool and do the opposite of this:

“Love is patient, love is kind (1 Cor. 13:4)”…and “slow to become angry.” Ja. 1:19

How did we get here?

I’ll tell you how. We weren’t honest. Instead, we were thinking inside of our mind and living in fear of being truthful. The problem with this is that a truth not spoken and pent-up eventually bursts out of the pot at caustic and scalding temperatures that leave others feeling burned. Yee-oww!

God intends we go another way. We are told the truth will set us free – and it will. What is your truth? What freedom do you need to get from God?

You may need to:

1. Confess your frustration to God and ask Him what He has to say about it.

2. Admit it to an accountability partner and ask for prayer and help.

3. Talk to the person about your aggravation.

But don’t keep it on the inside. It is a hot pot about to boil over and the pain of it all does hurt.

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I’m Trying Out My Resolution Once Again

trying out

The first week of January.

I must: lose 5 pounds.
I must: encourage my kids more.
I must: save money.

This is the time of year where we get all intentional about the things we unintentionally forgot about last year. We pick them up again, and test them out. We try to surpass what, apparently, got the better of us.

We tie on the running shoes and hit the pavement, extra weight blobbing around.

We tuck away the cigarettes, pretending they weren’t right there in the dashboard.

We open up the closet doors, ones we’ve tried to ignore for last 11 months.

And as we open these tightly shut doors and experience the reality of what we failed at last year, well. . . we often feel like failures. We’re ashamed of ourselves. And thus, our minds inadvertently themselves up for failure.

May I encourage you, and myself, right about now?

Friends, every new beginning starts by facing a present reality. To see the weight, the issue, the pain, the problem, the sadness, the isolation or the agony around what is – is good. This is your new start, somewhere.

Don’t hate that.  Don’t push the reality away. See it for what it is. This will be your driver forward; it will be what leads you into the arms of Christ. God’s strength will be your follow-through.

Know your deep need of rescue and help. It’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay. For here you’ll find:

Where you can’t, God can.
Where it’s impossible, prayer makes everything possible.

The things that make you doubt- faith can knock down.

Where shame tries to scream about your looming failure,
Christ says, “With me, all things are possible.”

Where you find yourself messing up again, Jesus reminds you,
“My power is perfected in your weakness.”

Where you once strived hard to make things happen,
you can now trust Jesus to.

Where you demanded progress this year,
you can make space for God’s miracle.

Where you aimed to see your success,
you’re now prepared to see God’s glory.

Every new beginning, in Christ, is a happy ending. It is literally impossible to submit to Jesus and to not see goodness. Sure, it may look different than you thought, but it will always be good. Better even.

In Christ, we have nothing to lose and everything to gain. So go for it. Go for it with Jesus!!!

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus…” Phil. 1:6

Prayer: God, I am not perfect. I fail. Help me to see through what vision I have. Give me grace to do it with you. Give me peace along my path. Help me not see mess-ups as failures, but as opportunities to keep going. Teach me along the way. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

“Brush it off!”

brush it off

“I don’t agree.”

These three words crawl under my skin like a spider.

To me, they mean:

  1. Someone disagrees with me.
  2. They probably think my idea is stupid.
  3. I have a huge chance of being wrong.

Beyond these three horrible feelings, they induce shame.

Shame is a:

Sudden
Heaping on of
A
Massive
Embarrassment

Shame makes you feel:

– caught
– like a fraud
– as if people won’t look at you the same
– like you should keep your mouth shut
– no good

Do you experience shame? When you speak? When you act in the wrong way? When people catch you doing something? When you make a mistake?

The other day my daughter came home from church. She looked at me and said, “Mommy, when I do bad, and say sorry to God, I get to do this…”

She took one hand and wiped off her other arm as if she was wiping sand off her forearm. Then, she did the same with the other arm.

“I get to wipe it all off, Mommy, and it is gone.”

I considered her words and actions. I get to do the same, too.

I get to wipe off the moment I feel caught, the second I feel exposed, the time I feel burdened by what I did wrong, the moments where I hate the little things I do. Wipe…wipe…gone.

Why?

Because of Jesus. Because his love leaves no place for shame. Because He came to free me, not to bind me up to my own nervousness. What He delivered me from was my sin and the things that keep me insecure, so I can walk out and into this world with glorious light. He does the same for you, too.

What do you need to wipe off today?

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

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What does Faith look Like?

faith look like

A group of friends, full of strength, lowered a sick man from roof to floor, desiring to get him in front of Jesus. Jesus, seeing their faith, healed the man. (Luke 5:20)

Another man told Jesus, “say the word from where you are and my servant will be healed.” Jesus did. From afar and the man was healed. After Jesus remarked, “I haven’t seen faith like this in all the land of Israel” Lu. 7:9

A woman said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.” Mt. 9:21  She simply grabs Jesus’ hem and finds herself healed. Jesus tells her to “take heart.” I bet she did.

What do all these three examples have in common? Two things. Desperate need and infinite faith.

Do you have these? Desperate need? Infinite faith?

Coupled, they’re powerful. Yet, one without the other doesn’t work as well. If you have need without faith, you’ll likely camp out in your basement crying. If you have faith without need, you’ll fool yourself into believing Jesus for the wrong things.

What does your heart truly need? What, internally, are you crying for? What would you go any lengths to ask Jesus to do, heal, rectify, fix, or renew?

There is no shame in need. There is hope. Run to Jesus, lower yourself before him, call on friends to pray, grab Him in outstanding ways, cry, reach. . . but no matter what, go and get before Him. Desperately. Hungrily. Believing immensely in his power.

Desperate seekers loaded with wild faith find Jesus.

He notes their belief. He sees their struggle. He tends to their needs. He gives the words that encourage them to “take heart.”

Your desperation, whether hidden, apparent or ignored, is not bad. It is good when brought before a loving Father wanting to love. This is who God is. One with a greater capacity to care than even the best man. One with greater insight to teach than even the best teacher. One with greater ability to counsel than even the best therapist.

Faith believes God can.

Need lets Him in.

Open the doors to your heart. Then run after Jesus, ready to be changed.

Prayer:
Jesus, thank you that you are not after pretty images of perfection, nor righteous people who know everything, nor biblical experts of ancient times, nor striving hearts that never relax. You are after hearts in need. It was for those people, you stopped. It was for the sinners, you came. Help us to turn toward you in need and receive the best of you, in belief. Do a new thing.  Give us the faith to trust you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Your Worst Enemy Isn’t Them…

wrong enemy

Have you hurt someone, but can’t seem to apologize?
Is there an argument you feel completely entitled to uphold?
Does anger overwhelm you?
Do you have the feeling your assumptions were completely off base?
Are you ashamed of what you’ve done?

Sometimes, I internally know I am 100% wrong, but externally cannot admit the truth. It’s like my heart knows what it needs to do, but my mouth can’t speak.

It feels like everyone might hate me or turn away. It feels like I might be the bad egg that falls down the chute. Bye-bye…Kelly….!

Ever been there?

Perhaps, you’re trying to maintain a good status at work, or defending an issue you know you need to change your mind on or coming down on hard on one specific person because you always have. Maybe you do this. . . all to the detriment of truth.

But, it is the truth that sets us free. (Jo. 8:32)

John Piper boils this vicious cycle down to one issue. He puts it like this:

“Pride is the enemy inside us that speaks to us like a friend. Its counsel sounds so much like self-protection, preservation, and promotion we are often blinded to the fact that it’s destroying us and others. It rises in great indignation as a prosecuting attorney when others’ pride damages us, but it minimizes, qualifies, excuses, rationalizes and blame-shifts our behavior when we damage others. We can easily be deceived into believing that our pride wants to save us, when really, it’s our internal Judas betraying us with a kiss.” – John Piper, DesiringGod.com

What if rather than being tethered to insular pride, we were released to outpouring love? What freedom might God have for us?

“And the truth will set you free.” Jo. 8:32

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Beware of Forcing the Wrong Season

I worked really hard to get up the hill. Pumping, huffing, standing, sitting, then standing again, I. Was. Going. To. Make. It. To. The. Top.

Nothing would stop me and my bike.

It’s often easy to get on a mission. We want to get somewhere and when we’re really committed, we see it through.

I made it to the top. Then came the decline.

Victory. As I glided down, I kept on peddling hard. Why?

No, really. . . why?

Why did I feed the need to peddle when it was a time to glide?

God says there is a time for everything:

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Ec. 3:1KJV

There is a season to pump our legs hard; there is a season to glide; there is a season to cry; there is a season to rest; there is a season to give; there is a season to take.

Peaceful living, I am determining, has much to do with knowing the season God has placed you in. You don’t want to be laughing in the midst of your spouse’s grieving.

As I went down the hill, it was representative of a season: to glide. To let go of worries. To trust God with all the stuff I normally do. To hear his voice calling me to ministry outside of the internet. To wonder and awe at him doing really special things alone with me.

To step away from life, demands, blog requirements, and doing stuff as usual, because it’s not God’s heart for today…(noticing is half the battle).

Letting go is the other half. It’s recognizing that our current season doesn’t have to look like our last. In fact, I have to tell you, it shouldn’t. This is my opinion, however. It is my belief that when we push a round peg into a square hole, frustration feels as ever present as a hangnail.

But to move with the grace of God. . . this is like windsurfing in the direction of God’s move. You go with him. You let go of what you think things should be. You enjoy the wind on your face. You feel the moment. You come alive in what he is doing.

What season is God calling you into? What if instead of despising it, you decided to embrace it?

Prayer: God, in your presence there is fullness of joy. Keep me in your presence and peace. Keep me going in the direction you desire for me, and nowhere else. Let me go not according to what I think I should do, but according to what your heart is for me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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A Radical Call To Take a Stand Today

Do you know what it is to stand up for your faith?

It’s like standing up for the kid getting taken advantage of on the playground, except the kid is you.
It’s like standing up in the court of law to speak justice, because you know it’s what needs to be done.
It’s like standing up at a sports game and cheering wildly because you have love for a team.
It’s like standing up full of sin, like the woman who committed adultery, and allowing Jesus to forgive you.
It’s like standing up against all the chatter of opposition to telling it to shut up and sit down.
It’s like standing up and putting your hands on your hips and saying, “That’s not what God says, so no way.”
It’s like standing up and speaking out God’s truths over the ample lies that surround you on the daily basis.
It’s like standing up and fighting, through prayer, for a sister going through a killer-of-a-hard time.
It’s like standing up and saying, “No, I will not lay down.”
It’s standing on the solid rock of Christ.
It’s knowing that that very rock is unmovable, unbreakable and unwavering.

It’s deciding in your heart that since Jesus was strong enough to bust out of the grave, He will be able to take you right out of your dark circumstances to move you into His light. This is standing strong.

Where do you need to stand strong?

Certainly, there is a time for mourning, crying and wrestling. There is a time. But then comes a day to say, “It is my day to bust out of this tomb of self-pity and dejection and to move into God’s light. It is time for me to stand up and say no more. No more will I be tossed like a boat of doubt, or on the waves of nauseousness or by the words of mankind. No more will I listen to the opinions of old replay or the questions of the enemy circulate. No more.  Today is my standing up day. May standing up and moving out day.”

In what way do you need to stand?

“He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures.” 1 Cor. 15:4

Jesus had every right to count man’s offenses, bad words, religious spirits, hurting words, whips and mockings. He could have dwelt in that tomb of despair for a long, long time. He could have said, “Forget them, they did me wrong.” He could have let death come over us. But Jesus didn’t.

He stood up to the power of hell taking aim to bring the kingdom of God down. He stood. He stood up to take his seat at the right hand of God.

“When the Lord Jesus finished speaking to them, he was taken up into heaven. He sat down at the right hand of God.” Mark 16:19

God calls us to stand today. He calls us, today, to rise into his heavenly perspective. One that does not count the offenses of man, the injuries of yesterday, the tears we can’t move past, the people we can’t reckon with, the memories we can’t distance, the worries we can’t alleviate… certainly, all that is there. God knows it. We know it.

There it is. We’ve seen it. We’ve seen it every day, for a long, long time. But what if we chose to stand up and walk past it?

The choice is ours.

We can either give in to the weights of the world, or we can rise up and give it to the God who holds the weight of the world in His hands?

We can trust the resurrection life, Jesus.  He is resurrection. In all ways. All the time. With all power.

Take a stand.

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.