Tag - chaos

Peace & Leaving the World Behind

October 6, 2016

We should all spend time outside each day. I don’t know about you, but I spend too many hours indoors.

As a remedy, sometimes I work at the kitchen table near the propped-open door to the deck. Hearing the wind rustling through the trees and birds fighting over seeds at the feeder does something for my heart. It’s not all the way outside, but it’s close.

Long ago, I posted this poem, one of my favorites, on the bulletin board at my desk, the one I don’t actually work at very often.

The Peace of Wild Things

By Wendell Berry

“When despair for the world grows in me

and I wake in the night at the least sound

in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be.

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.

I come into the peace of wild things

who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief.

I come into the presence of still water.

And I feel above me the day-blind stars

waiting with their light. For a time

I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.”

I wonder if so often when we misplace our peace, if the answer is simply to spend more time outside.

I say I wonder, but I already know what kind of person I become when I spend extended minutes under the sky. There I see the rest of the beauty, and it’s not that I forget the chaos of the day. It’s not that the challenges disappear or the discouragement dissipates.

Out there, we realize we can walk away for a bit and the whole thing doesn’t all fall down.

Ohhh, right–it wasn’t really me holding everything together.

In the presence of still water or even angry waves, we remember again we have no control over the things we fear.

We remember Who does control all things—He Who is good and true and beautiful and eternal.

Who is acquainted with all this growing old and wearing away and falling down and rising up again. He Who endures forever and ever, Who is seen at the center of all this worldly beauty.

The Lord is God, and He has made His light shine on us. Psalm 118:27

It takes a few minutes, but I confess the truth. I’ve been taxing my life again, imagining losses that haven’t even happened. Why do I continue to repeat this?

Once again, I return to the wild. I take a walk in the woods past the yard, thick with green and a melody of snapping sticks underfoot. I imagine snakes hiding out like sharks in the ocean, while hoping they’re at least as rare.

Somehow I’ve left the rest of the world behind me. I come into the peace of wild things, and their holy message sinks ever deeper to my core.

Like Berry, I rest in the grace of the world—and I’m free.

///////////

From the ends of the earth I call to You, I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Angela Parlin is a wife and mom to 3 rowdy boys and 1 sweet girl. In addition to spending time with friends and family, she loves to read and write, spend days at the beach, watch romantic comedies, and organize closets. But most of all, she loves Jesus and writes to call attention to the beauty of life in Christ, even when that life collaborates with chaos. Join her at www.angelaparlin.com, So Much Beauty In All This Chaos.

When You Wax & Wane

May 19, 2016

Angela Parlin

faith, Regular Contributor, truth

10 Comments

Post By: Angela Parlin

From her bedroom window, the full moon glows.

Rays bounce to the north, south, east, and west, painting a cross of light over a pitch dark sky. Supermoon circles large in the center of a bright, shining, old, rugged cross.

I sit on the corner of her bed, watch my sleeping beauty breathe, and I stare at the moon.

“God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars.” –Martin Luther

Tonight, God wrote the gospel on the moon, and I needed it more than I knew.

Many days, I gulp down living water early.

But then I run through days, where the gospel feels lost on me.

Some days start on a high note, but tangle up in chaos before we reach the middle. Some days, I have to convince myself to try get on top of it all. Instead, I feel irritated. I can’t stop moving, but I’m only running in circles.

When I finally sit down for a few minutes without little people asking for more pieces of me, I ask God really mature and selfless questions.

Why won’t they ever leave me alone?

It’s not what I really want, other than the opportunity to pause and re-center.

The night of the supermoon, it hit me.

The way of the moon is to wax and wane, and the light can all but disappear sometimes.

My light can all but disappear, in the jumble of kids and school and endless meals and the house with its dirt and projects and always so many things to do.

My light disappears in the way I react to their childishness and stubbornness and rips and smudges and everywhere messes.

I want to remain in Jesus, to be a light that shines His love day in and day out, even when it’s only for my little crew.

I also want to be left alone sometimes.

I want to stay on schedule.

I want my house all put together.

I want to complete things when I start them.

And since none of these are entirely possible, some days my light goes out. Or at least grows dim.

How is it so hard to remain in Him, when I do take the time to begin in Him?

The night I saw Him cross the moon, my heart welled up with this visible shot of gospel, in the middle of my own frustrations and failures.

His cross was brighter.

His love was stronger.

His work outlasted my own.

Once my eyes were fixed on Jesus again, I could see it all more clearly.

There is so much beauty in and around and through the chaos of our days.

God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone. This doesn’t diminish the importance of the Bible. Nothing compares to opening the pages of His Word and hearing from the Lord.

But God surrounded us with all this beauty, His own glory. It fixes our minds on Him again, and maybe there’s always more to see.

So when you look up at the sky today or the stars tonight, or when the wind blows through your backyard trees, I hope you will remember.

I hope you will look and see Jesus above the roar of your life’s chaos, and you will continue in Him. And you will remain in Him.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Angela Parlin is Dan’s wife and Mom to 3 rowdy boys and 1 sweet girl. In addition to being with friends and family, she loves to read and write, spend days at the beach, watch romantic comedies, and organize closets. But most of all, she loves Jesus and writes to call attention to the beauty of life in Christ, even when that life collaborates with chaos. Join her each week at www.angelaparlin.com, So Much Beauty in All This Chaos.

Do You See the Beauty?

February 25, 2016

Angela Parlin

blessings, Contentment, expectations, Regular Contributor

3 Comments

Post By: Angela Parlin

The way we view our lives changes things.

I’m beginning to believe that the way we choose to see the circumstances of our lives is the big point.

Sometimes my vision is clouded with things I don’t enjoy about my current situation. When I’m focused on the problems I face, there’s little room in my heart to see the good. Instead, I’m chronically unhappy with the way things are.

Can you relate?

Other times, my eyes are full of what I think I need to improve upon everywhere I look, and then I fall into perpetual striving. I seek to make my life something better, and I miss the beauty of what’s already in front of me.

I’m talking about contentment, a way of seeing our lives with thankful eyes.

The way we see determines how we’ll experience our days. So how is your vision today? How do you choose to see?

Years ago, I named my blog, So Much Beauty in All This Chaos. God was teaching me then that His beauty is always around me. Even in the chaos that sometimes happens at home with the kids, even in the trials, even in my disappointment, He has planted so much beauty.

My job is to choose to see the beauty. My part is to call it out and thank Him.

I’ve struggled many times to see the beauty in my life when chaos crowds it out, and so I started naming the beauty whenever I could see it. I started to look for it.

~The way God met me there in that trial, the way He comforted me.

~The beauty inside the people He placed in my life for me to love, and the ways they love me back.

~The truth He speaks straight to my heart from His Word day after day.

~The sky and the birds and the rest of His incredibly gorgeous world which surrounds me.

I’ve learned the beauty goes on and on and on.

I’ve learned there’s always more, because I find it whenever I choose to look.

But sometimes I still return to my critical eyes, to my critical heart. Sometimes the details of life overwhelm me, and I find myself right back in that ugly, bitter place, where I have a really hard time seeing the good. Sometimes I wake up and it’s cold and I’m tired of doing the same old things another day, and maybe it’s just that I woke on the wrong side of the bed, but I’m just not happy with the way things are. I’m just not satisfied.

I don’t know about you, but I desperately need God’s vision–to see great things He’s already done.

To see all the beauty He’s planted between the rows of my chaos, in the middle of every day.

Where will you choose to see the beauty God has planted in your life today?

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Psalm 90:14

Get blog posts by Purposeful Faith by email – click here.

Angela Parlin is Dan’s wife and Mom to 3 rowdy boys and 1 sweet girl. In addition to spending time with friends and family, she loves to read and write, spend days at the beach, watch romantic comedies, and organize closets. But most of all, she loves Jesus and writes to call attention to the beauty of life in Christ, even when that life collaborates with chaos. Join her each week at www.angelaparlin.com, So Much Beauty in All This Chaos.

For the Not-So-Shiny Days

May 21, 2015

purposefulfaith

Holy Spirit, Motivation, Regular Contributor

3 Comments

Post by: Angela Parlin

Some days, the sun shines, and I jump out of bed early. I slept enough hours without any interruptions, and I feel good. I start the day with the Lord and a run and then the kids come trickling out of their rooms, ready for the eggs I’ve made. Then I head upstairs for a quick shower with some great music to help me get happily ready to start the homeschool day.

Some days.

Other days, it’s much harder to see beauty–because other days look a lot more like chaos. Can you relate?

Maybe someone needed me in the night, or I stayed up late with Jimmy Fallon.

Maybe the kids leave their rooms an hour before the time we’ve set. They forget to complete their morning chores, and so the laundry piles up and the bedrooms are a mess.

Maybe I’m tired and it’s a cloudy day and I don’t have time for quiet time and I didn’t get a run and I haven’t made breakfast and I don’t feel well.

Maybe.

Do you ever think about the back-and-forth of our lives? The up-and-down? Does it frustrate you the way it frustrates me?

I can get on such a roll of seeing-the-beauty days–of good, productive mornings, of day-before preparation, of starting the day out right. But then–something changes. Often, I don’t even see it coming. A cold. A sick kid. A misunderstanding. A big disappointment. Hard work that doesn’t yield results. Whatever it might be.

Then I get on a roll of seeing more chaos than beauty.

The kids are still waiting on me, so I have to quickly figure out how to deal.

How do you deal with days that look more like chaos,
with the cloudy days and your own clouded mind?

Last week, on one of the not-so-shiny days of my life, I learned that I have developed an unfortunate habit. That instead of dealing with the chaos, I try to escape.

After trudging through a rotten morning, I sent the kids off to read in their bedrooms in the afternoon. I was discouraged, and I spent a few minutes praying to the Lord about my problems, asking Him for help.

And then I moved on.

I COULD NOT WAIT to sit down on my comfy sofa to turn on Gilmore Girls, and so I fixed a glass of iced tea and resumed my position.

But as I sat there, I felt a holy conviction.

I knew it wasn’t my own voice, because my voice said–There’s nothing wrong with this!

And that’s true. There’s nothing inherently wrong with Netflix, or many other forms of escape.

But there’s a problem sometimes with the way we use them.

I felt the Spirit saying, Run to Me. Seek Me. Look to Me. And I saw my error.

I realized how often I seek the Lord—and then run off to my own fix.

My fix, which feels comforting at first, always leaves me wanting.

I saw that I was trying to escape my life rather than working through the hard parts, while looking to the Lord for His strength.

So by God’s grace, I started a new habit. I hope it will continue to be the way I deal with the not-so-shiny days.

I’ll seek the Lord, and then I’ll wait on Him alone—especially on the difficult days.

Because as Lamentations 3:25 says, The Lord is good to those who WAIT for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. (ESV)

But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired. Isaiah 40:31, AMP