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Dealing with Fear & Relationships

October 19, 2021

The woman’s words were supposed to be encouraging, but they were laced with something… What it was exactly? I’m still considering.

The more she talked, the more that icky, creepy feeling came over me. Do you know what I’m talking about?

Many times, it happens when people project fear. Afraid their bad story may repeat, they project their worries. Usually, they are not even aware they’re releasing their fear.

True love never comes out of projected fear.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.” (1 Jo. 4:18 NIV)

To speak from a place of fear, or to project worry, is not love. Why? Because fear punishes the recipient.

Just think:
I’m afraid I am not enough, so I get passive aggressive with you.
I’m horrified that my kid will not get good grades. I drive them hard after school because of my anxiety.
I’m fearful my husband may cheat, so I question him relentlessly when he gets home.

How does fear drive you? How do you project worry or fear?

We all have moments when we are afraid. We all have hurts. God wants to help you and love you through those. Let us bring our unresolved fears to God so they don’t resolve on hurting others.

Prayer: Father, God, I feel afraid. I feel afraid because of what I’ve seen or what I haven’t seen. I feel afraid because I don’t want to get hurt. I feel afraid because someone has hurt me. I feel afraid of: _____. I bring to you this feeling. I don’t know what to do with this, but I know you have a better plan for me than fear. I repent of fearing. Will you show me a new perspective? Will you show me how you are defending me, protecting me, helping me, guiding me or providing for me, through this very issue? Will you open my eyes to the scripture I need to see? Will you guide me in may way? Will you give me courage? In you, I trust. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Scriptures for when you feel afraid:

While it is true that many Old Testament scriptures were spoken by God, to specific people, about specific situations, it still remains: God’s character and nature is unchanging. He is who He says He is. He is with us — and will help us!

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Is. 41:10)

“Have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (Josh. 1:9)

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” (Ps. 34:4)

Use Your Voice

October 12, 2021

purposefulfaith

awe, Contentment, faith, hope

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I was too tired. “I can’t. Not now, my dear.”

Have you ever been so tired by night’s end you can’t do a solitary thing, but plop on your bed?

My daughter wanted me to wash her knotted-up hair at the sink. It’s a big ordeal. Although I wanted to help her, I knew if I said yes, I also risked being in a horrid mood and things ending up 100o times worse.

“I can’t, my love.”

“But mom. . . ” she persisted.

“I can’t.”

“But, you can. The knots at the back of my neck hurt me when I sleep,” she replied.

She was pulling at my heartstrings now. I didn’t want to her to be uncomfortable; I care for her. I want to help her. I love her.

You know, God loves us the same way. He hears our repeated requests. He understands our difficult position. He is moved by our asking — be it for little or big things. Don’t give up making your heart known to God and your voice heard. He cares for you…

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Mt. 7:7-8)

Just as my daughter kept asking by, persistent asking, opens something up. I believe our repeated asking, using our voice, must move God’s heart, similar to how it moved mine. It’s hard to say no, to one you really love. It’s hard to say no, when the one you love so wants your help. It’s hard to back away when the sound of your child, moves you.

God loves us too. He showcases His love by how He sent His very own son, for us, even while we were yet sinners. If God did that for us, how much more does He want to help us?

His heart isn’t to abandon us, but to help us.

Eventually, I told my daughter, “Yes, I’ll help you!”

I answered her request not because it was easiest for me, but because I had compassion for her situation (and, well, she kept asking using that persistent voice). At the same time, I answered a little different than she expected. All the same, her end goal was accomplished.

And, isn’t this how God works with us?” We say, “I want my hair washed at the sink!” He nearly says, “Well, after you take a shower, then I’ll come with the de-tangler.”

Our part is obedience. His part is faithfulness.

Has God asked you to do something? Do you feel called to move a certain direction on an issue? Don’t ignore those nudges. Follow them.

Simple acts of obedience often opens up answered prayers through persistence. But, we must get going and keep knocking — and not give up!

Don’t get discouraged by what you haven’t seen or what you aren’t seeing. God hears. And, if like me, you forget to pray at times — that’s okay too. God never despises a small beginning. In fact, that’s how all great things begin. Just start. Just ask. Know He loves you. God IS love! He wants what is best for you. He cares. He IS Provider too. That means — He is faithful.

Make your heart and voice known to God, for He cares for you.

Prayer: Father, thank you that you hear us. You really do! You love us too. We are so thankful to be loved by a good father. You are always ready to help. You may do things different than we think, but in the end you know what is good for us. We thank you for this. Your timing is right, even if we can’t always understand. Father? Will you help us in the way we need today — (ask specifics here)? We lift this up with great expectation of your help. You are Faithful and True. You are a rescuing God. You are Deliverer. Your ways are so far greater than ours. We love you. We thank you. In Jesu’s name. Amen.

You Can Trust God

October 5, 2021

purposefulfaith

doubt, faith, fear

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God is faithful.
He is not man.
He doesn’t just observe us; He actively loves us.

“God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” (Nu. 23:19)

I remember playing basketball on those summer nights in California, pre-childen, with my husband. On one particular evening, the ball bounced off the rim and slammed my ring finger. The doctor said it was broken. If I didn’t handle it now, I’d get arthritis. I needed surgery and a pin, quickly.

I rang up the insurance company. The issue was I had signed up for the worst company insurance plan. It wouldn’t cover my need.

Not knowing what else to do, I prayed something like, “God, help me. I don’t have the money nor the insurance for this surgery. I need you to provide. I need your help. I trust you.”

The operator came online. I informed her that I was on the worst company plan. I let her know that I was stuck.

She “looked into things” and replied, “Actually, you are signed up for the best plan. It covers everything.”

I was shocked. How could this be!? Something must be wrong. But, it wasn’t….

Even though I didn’t sign up for that “best plan”, somehow I did. . . God did it! God came through. God answered my prayer. Miraculously, what I didn’t sign up for, I was part of.

When we don’t know what to do, God will come through. When we can’t see a way, God can see one. He might not always show up like we think (because His ways are higher than ours), but He will show up.

How has He come through for you (I’d love to read a sentence or two, even though I can’t really respond to everyone if I want to be a good wife/mom)?

God has healed me of physical issues, provided financially, provided emotional healing from an eating disorder, helped me to get up again through His Word, messaged me through nature, and brought relational healing with family members. God is faithful. It didn’t all happen immediately, but by His grace, it happened organically, over-time, and in His best way. There was always a higher place God planned to take me to, even if — in the moment — I couldn’t see it.

Just as we can’t see the snow on the mountaintops…it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Just because the answer isn’t in our vantage-point, doesn’t mean it isn’t coming. Or, God isn’t taking us to higher ground.

My dear friends, be encouraged: God is faithful. He comes. He doesn’t forget. Keep the faith. Keep hope. Keep love soft and ready to pour out on others. Don’t get embittered. Don’t let what you haven’t seen, throw you off from praying for what you could see. Keep asking. He hears. He loves you. He isn’t absent, but is close.

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted…” (Ps. 34:18)

Where do you feel broken or in need? Don’t just brush that feeling off and pretend it isn’t there — bring that need, that hunger and that want to God — He draws close to that very sort of thing. Tell Him about it. Cry about it. Call out about it. Need from it. Ask Him to meet you in it. Life isn’t about soldiering through; it is about letting God hold you sometimes.

He will be there for you. He loves you. Your need doesn’t disqualify you from His love, it draws Him closer.

Prayer: Father, thank you that you care. Thank you that you see. Thank you that you love me. You are faithful. You are true. Jesus is Faithful and True. You can be nothing else besides this. Today, we give you our trust. We put our trust in you once again. We ask you to come and help us with where we are at today. We love you. We thank you for Jesus, on the cross. We thank you that He paid it all because of love. And, if He loved us then, He still loves us now. We are in your love. We thank you for this. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Take Down the Enemy

September 28, 2021

purposefulfaith

Contentment

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My husband and I have been off. It’s not that we’re having huge arguments, it is just that when I say red, he says yellow. When I pray one way, he feels led the other. When I am think about one thing, I interrupt him before he can speak the other.

Ever been there?

Over the years, we’ve learned the value in praying for “unity in the Spirit” and “the bond of peace”. The more we press after this, the more breakthrough we get.

“Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other. Try your best to let God’s Spirit keep your hearts united. Do this by living at peace.” (Eph. 4:2-3)

We can never forget, no matter what relationship we are in — that there is a real enemy who is diabolically opposed to one thing: love. His aim is to steal peace to kill unity and, ultimately, to destroy love. If he can do this in our relationships, he can sabotage our life.

Without prayer, we go defenseless. With it, and by using the Sword of the Spirit (the Word of God), we defeat enemy attacks and schemes in their tracks.

If we find ourself in an argument with someone, or carrying offense, or getting annoyed — one of the wisest things you can do is pray.

There have been various times that I knew the way my husband should go, but I didn’t tell these things to him. Instead, I prayed. Eventually, God led my husband the answer. It’s always better when people hear from God.

Never forget, there is power in your prayer. You can move a mountain. David took down a Goliath with just 5 smooth stones. These weren’t huge boulders. They weren’t large rocks. They were, small, smooth stones. I imagine they fit in his hand.

If David could take down giant Goliath with 1 smooth stone, how much more can our new covenant, grace-empowered prayers take down problems in our lives?

“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (Ja. 5:16)

This blog has a testimony of answered prayers. There have been times that we’ve prayed over all the readers, together, and testimonies have come in. What if we do it again? We are more than just vague people on the internet. We are a body of believers, the body of Christ.

Prayer: Father, we thank you that you know the need of every reader of this post. Father God, we also thank you that you reign, rule and you are in control of all things. We honor you, and you alone as our God. We also ask that you meet the deep desires and inner requests of people’s hearts on this blog. We pray for your highest and best for each person reading. We ask that as we pray for others and for our needs that prayer-testimonies come through. Great is your faithfulness! Great is your wonder-working power. Great are you, Oh Lord, and worth to be praised. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

God Sees Me

September 14, 2021

purposefulfaith

awe, failure, faith

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“I can’t miss seeing her.” I keep thinking this…

My daughter hasn’t played sports before. She thought she wouldn’t like it, but she now loves it. When she played she ran around the field with a huge smile on her face. I couldn’t be happier. This week, I have a conflict with her practice, however, I want so badly to see her. I just want to watch her, enjoy herself.

Yesterday, with my son, it was a similar sort of experience. He tried out for a role in the school play. I was so happy for him. I really wanted to watch him. I called his dad and prayed for him while he was trying out. I ran into the school beforehand with a snack and a hug. My joy was so full, it felt like I might explode.

After this joy of watching my kids, in their moments, I couldn’t help but think: God has joy in watching me, in my moments too. Just as I want to jump around and celebrate my kids successes, God must really be happy when He sees me doing well. He must want to celebrate with me. He wants to be a part of my world.

Our Father God is “El Roi”, meaning, “The God who Sees Me.”

Somehow, knowing that Father God wants to see me, makes me feel loved. He wants to be involved in my world, in my joy and in my excitement. He knows what is happening. He cares to see. He wants to be a part.

In fact, the mere idea that He wants us to continually abide in Him is evidence of how much He wants to see and know us.

“Abide in me, and I in you.” (Jo. 15:4)

God wants us, to be together. He wants us, to be with Him. I think He likes us too.

We are never alone. We are united with a God who not only cares, but who sees, us. Be encouraged — we are not alone or left behind. He loves us. We are His children.

If we delight in our kids, how much more does He delight in our special moments too?

Prayer: Father, I want to be with you. I want to remain in you. I want to feel your love and understand how much you care for me. Will you help me gain greater understanding of this? I love you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Things are Not What They Seem

September 8, 2021

purposefulfaith

awe, failure, faith, grace

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“You always looked so put together. I didn’t know if I could talk to you or if you would be nice,” said one lady.

The other woman, replied in a similar way, “I wanted to talk to you too but I thought you were…”

Looks are deceiving. That’s all I could think as I sat there listening to these women share perceptions. It seemed, now, they were surprised by how relatable, real, and easy it was to be together. They were becoming fast-friends — all because they got a real chance to know each other, rather than to think things about each other.

How often do we allow what we think we know hold us back from what is truth?

I perceive a lot of things about myself: I haven’t done good at this. I didn’t succeed at that.

I perceive things about people too: They think this about me. They are doing ___. They must want ___.

Yet, like these women, thoughts not founded in truth, hold me back from real things — real relationships, real progress, real breakthrough.

Look at what happened to Elijah in the Old Testament because of his perceptions…

“Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the LORD God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.” (1 Kings 19:10)

Elijah was right in his statement. He did served the Lord “zealously” and the people of Israel had “broken their covenant”. But, what He didn’t perceive right was that he was “the only one left”.

He allowed his loneliness and his discouragement cloud his eyes. Others had been faithful too.

Soon after sharing this with the Lord, God told Elijah, “anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel-meholah to replace you as my prophet.” (1 Kings 19:16).

I wonder if Elisha’s perception of his situation led to the culmination of his ministry? One can wonder…

But, one thing I do know is that I don’t want to let — things that appears to be — take me down. Do you? Things are not always what they appear.

Just like your rear view mirror says, “objects in the mirror are closer than they appear,” objects in our life are not always as we see them.

Where have perceptions prohibited you from real relationship? Where are you thinking you are defeated, when God had not declared that over you? Where are you thinking thoughts about others that you don’t know to be true?

The easiest way to get rid of a lie is to repent of it and replace it with God’s truth — then you will be back on the path of life again.

Prayer: God, we don’t want any lies to hold us back. We only want to live by your truth, love by your truth and praise you with truth. Help us this way. Forgive us in any way where we have spoken, thought or carried lies about ourselves or about others. We ask you to give us your thoughts and your heart to love. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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How to Handle Mean People

August 30, 2021

purposefulfaith

Contentment

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“You’re not included.”

Well, this isn’t exactly what she said to me, but it felt that way.

Worst of all, this wasn’t the first this woman had excluded me and, as I’d come to know later that day, it wouldn’t be the last time, either. Grr.

When I got home, I thought, “I hate that lady.” She was rude to push me out, to set me aside. And, now she was acting was ungodly. I guess she is just an unhappy person…and, it seems — unthoughtful and untrustworthy.

Mean thoughts kept coming, until God broke in.

God stopped me. I knew my heart wasn’t right, but I didn’t know how to stop the avalanche of mean things I felt inside.

Yet, Jesus. “Jesus came not to condemn the world, but to save it.” (see Jo. 3:17)

If Jesus came — not to condemn, but to save, shouldn’t I come that way too? This got me to thinking…

What would it look like me for me to save my judgment so I could love, rather than hate? If Jesus saved me, rather than holding me to every past mistake, shouldn’t I also forgive this passive-aggressive woman too?

Doing this was going to be hard, but I knew: Either the Word of God would take hold of my heart or anger at man would.

What would I do? Certainly, I didn’t want a bitter root to grow within me. So, I decided to forgive her.

You see, I’ve had moments of insecurity – where I felt unsure or uneasy, but still, God and others decided to stick with me. I’ve made mistakes in my tone of voice and, still, God still kept me. I’ve been hurt and wanted to take that out on others (in fact, I still do this at times) and God lets me start again.

In so many ways, I have been this woman too. It was never the condemnation or unforgiveness that changed me – it was the grace, and space to grow, that made room for transformation. I want to afford this woman this room too.

If I’ve learned one thing over my short life, it is this: We are most free, when we forgive. Why? Because we love instead of hate. Clearing out ungodly emotions makes room for God’s goodness, hope, and restoration. Here, if called to do so, we can minister from a pure heart, rather than an angry one. I know this process may feel hard.

In fact, it feels hard for me too, especially as it pertains to this woman. Yet, freedom, for me, has been deciding — I don’t have to choose her as my best friend. In this, I can love her, pray for her, smile at her — with some wise distance between us. Love doesn’t always have to put itself back in the boxing ring again, the way it did last time.

I bless her. I hope the best for her. But, she will not be my nearest and dearest friend…

I feel happier now. I am not out of control; I am in God’s love.

Who have you been judging, accusing or condemning? Who might you need to stop hating so you can start loving them — if even from a distance?

Prayer: Father, I feel hurt. I feel angry. I am asking you to forgive me for the anger and hatred that I’m feeling. I am also asking that you give me grace to forgive this person who has offended me. I want to love again. In this, I choose to forgive ___ for ___. I let them go right now to you, Father. I know that you are the best Father. I ask you to show me whether I need to talk to this person, pray for them or love them from a distance. Give me wisdom. I let go of all my offense. I thank you for helping me in this. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

An Important Key to Honoring God

August 4, 2021

purposefulfaith

faith, hope, Love & Health

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When I ask my kids to clean the room, yet I find them playing at the top of the stairs 15-minutes later, I get aggravated. When I tell everyone to get in the car, yet they continue to sit watching TV, I wonder if anyone heard me. When I ask the family to put their dishes away, yet come home to find the table full of cups, I feel disregarded. I don’t feel honored.

Often, I tell my kids, “To delay is to disobey.” And, it is true. Delays don’t honor me as mom. In my eyes, they fall into the camp of disobedience.

Recently, when telling my kids, “to delay is to disobey,” I considered my own actions and delays as it pertains to God…

Do I treat Him the way my kids are treating me? Does He feel dishonored by my inaction? I had to stop to think for a moment…

How often do I get thinking of other things, and then I don’t act? How often do I get distracted and forget to call the person God is put on my heart? How often do I wait and then negate what God is speaking to me? How often do I do something else, before answering His call to read the Word?

Our obedience shows much about our love.

“If you love me, keep my commands.” (Jo. 14:15 NIV)

Just like, I feel loved, when my kids obey — it appears — so does God. Radical obedience shows complete reliance on Jesus. It says: God, you are first. It practices our mind in moving against the impulses of our flesh. It reminds us who we really live for.

Here, it’s like we almost say to God: You, above all else. Your ways are higher than mine. Your calling is of paramount importance. It doesn’t matter how inconvenient it is to me, I am alive to you, Christ Jesus.

Of course, no one is perfect in this department. I surely am not. And, I thank God for Jesus, who gives us a fresh start all the time because of His blood and grace. We are continually blessed by His obedience on the cross…

Yet, despite our actions or inactions, it is good to continually remind ourselves to be quick to act when we feel the prompting of God. And, to be ready to obey when the Word of God convicts us.

Because, how much could our world actually change if we followed through on the things God was leading us in? What would it look like if we followed through on the prompting to love, immediately? What would it look like if we allowed our heart to change the way He is trying to mold it?

How much more might the heart of the Father be honored? How much more intimacy might we have with God?

When God calls, let’s listen and answer.

Prayer: Father, I want to love you more. I want to obey you more. Obedience opens up walkways, both into your heart, and into greater callings. Please help me to obey you. Please help me, also, to discern what you are calling me to do. You are an amazing God, worthy of all my heart and action. I honor you. I love you. I submit myself to you today. In Jesus’ mighty name. Amen.

The Best Offense is Defense

July 27, 2021

purposefulfaith

Contentment, faith, hope

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My new house has a blueberry bush. Through our living room window, I see ripening berries. When they get a perfect blue hue, then I’ll know it is time to pluck them off. Yet, there’s one problem to my hypothetical dream…

Birds. Pesky little birds keep stealing my fruit. When I see a berry all blue and ready-to-eat, a bird comes along, sits on a branch – and pluck! My luscious berry is gone. In a split-second, my ripe fruit is stolen right off the vine.

This situation happens in our spiritual life too. Many of us have ripening fruit in our life (God is growing real things), yet there is an enemy who wants to steal our ripening fruit. This can happen without us realizing it.

God is growing patience, yet we fall into self-defeat when an event triggers. We say, “Why bother trying!?”

God is growing endurance, yet a test comes and we figure our pain will never end. “Things will never get better.”

God is growing our love for another, yet a horrible situation happens where, it seems, the person shows no signs of changing. “God won’t really do this.”

The enemy steals fruit when we believe lies. The lies are usually: Things will never change. I am bad, guilty and will never be better (because of this mess-up). God will not come through for me (or them).

Where is the enemy plucking God’s fruit in our lives?

Just because God is allowing us to go through something, doesn’t mean he isn’t doing something, or growing something in us.

“The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message about the Kingdom and don’t understand it. Then the evil one comes and snatches away the seed that was planted in their hearts.” (Matthew 13:19, NLT).

More than hearing truth is understanding it — where we go about living it. More than knowing a bible verse is having it lay claim to our life. More than seeing a problem is understanding God will show up. Are we only hearing God-stuff or are we understanding that it applies to us?

Remember, Jesus is Teacher. He doesn’t waste problems; He teaches real things through them. . .

It matters less what you know, or what you recite by rote-memory, and far more — what you truly understand in your heart.

A true defense against the enemy starts in our hearts.

As it pertains to that blueberry bush, I took action. After some research, I wrapped aluminum foil around part of the bush to repel pesky fruit eaters.

And, it worked.

Now when I look out my window, I not only see luscious, ripe fruit but I now eat of that fruit. Yet, in order to keep the fruit, I had to stop the enemy in his tracks. I had to set up a defense.

We must do the same — by setting up a defense…

How? We: resist. We resist sneak attacks by taking care of ourselves when we’re tired, hungry, or lonely. We can resist defeat and discouragement by turning on worship music and singing from our heart. We resist becoming a victim when we remember we truly are who God says we are . We resist going downhill when we allow God’s grace (because of Jesus) lift us up again.

When we resist, then we persist – in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control.

Prayer: Dear Lord, I want to learn from you. I want to grow in true fruitfulness and in understanding. I want to be taught by you. I pray that the enemy of my soul may have no access to my heart, soul, mind or spirit. I pray that I can believe the truth in all things, in all ways and at all times by your grace. I pray that I will trust you to provide and to take care of me. I want you above all else. You are my greatest pursuit. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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Letting Go to God

July 19, 2021

purposefulfaith

Contentment, control, faith, hope

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I carry a big beach bag around that says, “Let Go and Let God.”

I love the saying. The more we let go, the more He carries. God is a gentleman, in many ways. He allows us to carry what we insist on carrying. Yet, if we are willing…He will hold for us what we will release.

The more we unload the more God carries our load. We feel lighter. We more easily go with God.

Jesus said, “Take nothing for your journey,” he instructed them. “Don’t take a walking stick, a traveler’s bag, food, money, or even a change of clothes.” (Lu. 9:30)

One place I carry (almost) nothing is when I go into the ocean. The water is so soothing. My mom taught me to float on top of the water and to allow the big waves to carry me where they will. I have no strength or movement of my own. I let go. The waves lead me to where I am going. There isn’t much to worry when I let go.

What if we were really to let go to God in this way? To allow the winds of the Spirit to direct us as we follow Jesus?

“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” (Jo. 3:8)

The less we carry, the more easily we travel where God is taking us. Remember the rich man in the bible? He had too much stuff that He was clinging to…that he couldn’t depart from it. That was a tragedy. He insisted on baggage rather than Jesus. Stuff. Mindsets. Old ways.

Where might God be calling you to lighten your load? Are you weighed down with worry or anxiety? Stressed, because there is much to do? Unsure about how things will turn out? Unwilling to let go of old mindsets? Consumed with the past or people?

What if you were to really let go, and let God?

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Mt. 11:28)

Prayer: Father, I love you. I thank you that you have good things for me. Forgive me for carrying what you want to help me with. Forgive me for doing things on my own. Forgive me for forging my own way. Today, I admit that I don’t always know my way. I often take things into my own hands. Will you forgive me for that too? I love you so much. I want to truly follow Jesus and to be led by the Holy Spirit. Please teach me and lead me in that way? Please give me all the grace I need today to connect with you and to lean on you, in trust. I really do trust you with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. Thank you for all you do for me. Your ways are my best ways. In Jesus’ name. Amen.