Blog - Purposeful Faith

Doing Less in Order to Gain More

April 28, 2016

Katie Reid

Regular Contributor

4 Comments

Post by: Katie M. Reid

Do more, be more.

You’re not enough, you must work harder.

Do more, be more.

You have value if you produce.

Do more, be more.

You are worthy if you succeed.

These are the chants I live by.

Tightly-wound tendencies, cultural demands, and lies from the pit—that’s what they are.

When I listen, which is far too often, I get stuck in a pattern of striving, driving, and running out of gas. I get cranky, I don’t get enough sleep, and I’m left feeling discouraged.

I’m on a vicious cycle straight towards burnout when I live this way.

My brother Brian has Down Syndrome. He has great purpose even if he can’t contribute to society in typical ways. He lives a simple life. His routine is quite structured and predictable.

Brian is a gift. He knows when to give a timely word like, “You’re great,” or “I love you-oo”.

Brian also has a knack for picking out just the right Scripture that summarizes the sermon being preached. Just the other day, as the pastor was speaking about not giving up, Brain quickly turned to Isaiah 40:31:

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” -NLT

Brian doesn’t have to work harder to be deemed enough. So, why does his big sis struggle to apply what she believes is true about him?

I feel handicapped in my ability to change. My head listens to the lies and yet my heart knows the truth. Somewhere between the short distance from brain to heart I have lost the ability to grasp grace. I have exchanged dependence for self-reliance. I keep trying to do more and be more so that I feel like enough, valuable, and worthy.

So the other day, I finally said, Okay God, I can’t make these changes on my own. I feel helpless. I do what I don’t want to do, but I can’t seem to find my way out of this unhealthy pattern. Would You please help me?

It seemed that Jesus responded with a knowing smile and something like this, Well, My child, it’s about time you acknowledged that you can’t do this without My help. Now we can make real progress.

You see, self-sufficiency is my go-to sin that doesn’t usually work out so well. I try and try and try a little harder but I eventually end up ready to give up…and then I go to Jesus for help—realizing that I don’t really have what it takes.

Why do I wait to give the S.O.S until it’s too much? Why don’t I go to Jesus first and admit my need?

We often have a false perception that we can handle it, manage it, and produce it on our own strength, intellect, and know-how. But He is truly the Sufficient and Capable One.

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You’re the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

-Matt Maher, Lord I Need You

We are studying the book of Matthew in Bible study this semester and it struck me how Jesus was led by the Spirit. He was also intentional, faithful, and completed tasks. However, He wasn’t harried, hurried or hustled. He didn’t seem to rush.

I want to be more like Jesus—purposeful yet full of peace.

Since the “do more, be more” mantra isn’t working out so well, I want to adopt a new chant to undergird my days.

Do less, gain more.

Trust God to work even when you’re not.

Do less, gain more.

Stay hidden in Him while He fights for you.

Do less, gain more.

Give God room to make you bloom.

As God cocoons us in His love we stop striving and let Him work. At the right time we emerge, a new creation, ready to glorify Him.

We don’t have to muster up worth through tasks upon tasks. We are enough because Christ is enough. We don’t have to produce to be valuable. We have value because Jesus died on our behalf. We don’t have to be enough. We have a God who is enough for us.

Let’s do less striving and let’s gain what truly matters—a dependent relationship on the One who came to set us free from the rat race of sin.

As we hide ourselves in Him we are found. As we let go we find peace. As we life the surrendered life, led by the Spirit, and secure in Jesus’ love, we are home.

P.S. Jesus loves you-oo.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Katie M. Reid is a tightly wound woman, of the recovering perfectionist variety, who fumbles to receive and extend grace in everyday moments. She delights in her hubby, four children (and one on the way) and their life in ministry. Through her writing, singing, speaking and photography Katie encourages others to find grace in the unraveling of life.

Connect with Katie at katiemreid.com and on Twitter and Facebook.

5 Personal Vulnerability Points That the Devil Attacks

April 27, 2016

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, devil, doubt, faith, fear

7 Comments

I didn’t know where the thought came from. Like an unwelcomed visitor, it showed up unannounced. It just pushed its way in – and sat down. Holy had to leave. It doesn’t do well with things vile, deplorable and downright not from God. Worship left the air too. All eyes were on the house warming gift of worry in the middle of everything; it was tied up with the bow of anxiety. It’s a horrible gift.

In me, what felt like a temple, now felt tainted.

Certainly, I let in a monster that wasn’t supposed to be around, but I wasn’t sure what to do about it. When you let this kind of thought in, they don’t leave – they are rude like that.

So rude, that sometimes they keep you up all night as you try to wrangle them like untamed and bucking broncos. They rise and let you know how tall they are. They contort around you spelling out the word D.O.O.M.

I hate them, usually.

Knowing this, I come to these very important question…

How do I block the random attacks of the enemy that arrive like arrows in the night?

And, are there certain conditions that make me more vulnerable?

I think there are. Paul lets us know that we should be wise to their schemes (2 Cor. 2:11).

If we want to stand firm, we have to keep up our defenses up and our knees down to the ground.

You see, to be aware is to stand active in prayer.

So that your heart does not pursue an enemy affair.

Prayer is our best defense. God is our best offense.

Beyond this, if we know when the devil is prone to attack us, we can raise up our requests and calls for protection during these times. In essence, we can F.I.G.H.T back!

5 Times the Devil Loves To Attack Christ Followers…When they are:

Famished.
If you are hungry for life and not filling up on God, you are prime meat.
If you are hungry for food and are feeling a little off kilter, you are a tasty choice.
If you are head in iPhone, not soaking in the love of God, you are often – toast.
Irritable.
If you are off-footed and nearly falling, even more the devil knows his punch will knock you out.
If you are in a bad mood, he knows you will open the door to his negativity.
Gullible.
If you are open to lies, he will feed them to you.
If you are willing to listen to pride, he will lure you to it.
If you are up for misunderstanding God, he will distort him to you.
Hurt.
If you are discouraged, he will lure you to quick-fixes.
If you are beaten in relationships, he will feed you bad words about the another person.
If you aren’t seeking God, the devil will seek you and make you wonder if God is really good.
Tired.
If your mind is confused, he will confuse it some more.
If your will is weary, he will wear it down to its breaking point.
If people get testy, he will test your limits.

We can’t blame everything on the devil. Nope. That would miss this thing called flesh (Gal. 5:16) that works in its own self-serving way. But, when the devil is at play, the fertile ground described above is primed soil ready for insecticide-ridden hands.

Yet, when left protected and guarded, God grows something new – it is called perseverance and determination.

F.I.G.H.T.!!!

Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. Psalm 144:1

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What Are You Running After?

April 26, 2016

Angela Parlin

faith, Jesus, Regular Contributor

2 Comments

Post By: Angela Parlin

I call myself a runner, but I always feel the need to qualify the statement.

I’m not built like a runner. I’m not a fast runner. My mileage wouldn’t impress you.

But I get out there, onto the trail several times a week. And other than the last few months of four pregnancies plus a couple injuries which sidelined me for a time, I’ve been a runner as long as I can remember.

When I run, I’m usually smiling. It’s a strange habit, but I smile in part because running is my alone time. I walk out the front door, ready to move, and it’s like a big, deep breath. Plus a lot of panting, but still.

I smile because the finish line is always on the horizon, and I’m a hoper and a dreamer. I smile, because I need the opportunity to think my own thoughts for a bit. Thoughts about something other than school and the next meal and a million little tasks to do around the house.

Give me some fresh, quiet air under a big blue sky and the opportunity to think my own thoughts–and it feels like being home. Not so much like being in my home, but at home with myself. 🙂

Last week, out on the trail, one of my thoughts morphed into a pressing question:

What are you running after anyway?

Living Beyond Comparison

April 25, 2016

purposefulfaith

Comparing, Contentment, control, envy

7 Comments

I am delighted to have the fabulous Kristine Brown join us today as she shares about comparison. This can be sure-fire way to lose perspective and her blog reminds me to keep the focus of my eyes narrow and the intentions of my heart clean. Thank you Kristine – and welcome today! I hope you are blessed.

Guest Post by: Kristine Brown

She lived in the shadow of someone else. Someone pretty important, as a matter of fact. Day in and day out she watched this graceful lady. From where she stood, it looked as if this other woman had God’s hand of blessing on her all the time. Of course, it was hard to see clearly when walking behind her at a distance.

She couldn’t get used to her new life in the shadows. And on top of that, she endured ridicule. If only I had a friend, she thought. She struggled to see beyond her bitter circumstances.

Her name was Hagar.

Hagar found herself in a new role as servant and handmaid to Sarah. Conflict started early in their relationship. And as the family dynamic changed, tension grew between the two women.

Sarah sat in a place of honor as Abraham’s wife. Abraham had heard a solid promise from God that he would be the father of a great nation. God also assured him this promise would begin with a son from Sarah. But Hagar’s position as the mother to Abraham’s first-born only increased the difficulties between Sarah and her servant.

Soon that son arrived. Sarah gave birth to Isaac. And with this new addition to the family, the comparison voice grew louder and louder. Hagar felt unnoticed and unimportant compared to Sarah. Without realizing it, she allowed comparison to lead her away from the God who saw her.

Our situations may be different, but Hagar and I have a lot in common. We both let the destructive voice of comparison whisper into our hearts.

I too have felt the compulsion to compare myself to another woman. I’ve listened to the lies comparison tells me – lies that sound something like this…

She is more talented than me.

She is more capable than me.

She is noticed more than me.

Maybe you’ve heard them too.

If so, then you understand how devastating this voice can be. You know the doubt it causes. And maybe – like me – you’re ready to silence it once and for all.

“I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.” Psalm 57:2 ESV

The comparison battle once affected every area of my life.

My parenting. My role as a wife. My work. My ministry.

I couldn’t see the beauty of God’s plan. Comparison distracted me from the path He created just for me.When I realized how much I’d let its condemning words alter my thoughts, I resolved to find a solution. I went straight to God’s Word, and my discovery began in Hagar’s story…

When Hagar had enough of the hurt, she called out to the God of Abraham and Sarah. That day she learned a vital truth.

God desired to be the friend Hagar so desperately wanted. He was not only the God of Abraham and Sarah. He was her God too, and He made her a steadfast promise just like he did for Abraham – a promise she could count on.

Tweet: Relying on God’s promise is my first step in conquering comparison. – #OverItBook

“The angel added, ‘I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.’” Genesis 16:10 NIV

God had a plan for Hagar. By listening to His voice instead of the destructive words of comparison, she took a bold step. She believed the promise.

Sometimes that first step is all we need to get back on the right path. The question is:

Am I ready to take that bold step? Am I willing to rely on God’s promise and let go of comparison?

My answer is a resounding yes. Will you join me? I’d love to share with you more about Hagar and two other remarkable women in Scripture. Through their stories we can uncover the secret to overcoming comparison.

And when we do, we will also discover God’s plan for us is more than we could ever imagine possible.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

The Over It book is available on Amazon in paperback or e-book. To purchase your copy, click here. ***Proceeds from the sale of each book will benefit the More Than Yourself, Inc. scholarship program.

Kristine Brown is a writer, dramatist, and teacher. She helps women and teen girls navigate the ups and downs of real life. Kristine devotes her time to family, freelance writing, and her non-profit ministry, More Than Yourself, Inc. You can read more about her book at www.morethanyourself.com/over-it. Connect with Kristine on Twitter, Pinterest, and Facebook.

5 Ways to Keep your Eyes on God

April 22, 2016

purposefulfaith

awe, Contentment, expectations, grace, peace

14 Comments

I brought my kids to the beach. I needed to find some refuge to let them a.) play so that I could b.) get a moment with God. Doing this kind of thing is essential, in life, by the way. Sometimes, you have to break away from what you are immersed in so you can find yourself immersed in love, that way when you are re-immersed into life (mothering, relationships, work, health issues, etc.) you survive. This is what I figure, anyway.

Doing this kind of thing is like pre-CPR, it saves you before your signs go vital – from the anxieties and worries of life that intend to put you 10-feet under. I knew the warning signs for myself, so I hightailed myself over to my personal refuge.

The LORD helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him. Psalm 37:40

When the beach party was done and all were packed in the car, I slowly meandered down the road to home. The birds chirped, the seagulls floated on the water, the landscape was cloud layers perfectly hovering right above the ocean horizon. I breathed deep, inched on and turned my head ocean to road, ocean to road. Life was good.

I wasn’t missing anything! So big, and so proud – God’s love nearly gave me a hug. We united and it was a beautiful thing.

Until, that guy did his thing. Until, he became – a tailgater. My face tensed, my eyes squinted, “If only he could get a glimpse of me and my contorted and ugly face through the rearview mirror.” Left and right I scooted trying to make sure he saw me!

He was ruining it all. He was my problem. My heart was pumping with the fresh blood of aggravation.

All I knew was that I was getting tailed by pressure, and it was stealing peace. I guess it happens all the time, when I stop, and really think about it.

I feel that others are climbing faster and farther and quicker into writing success than I am. They tail me.

I let demands tower high – be a great mom, author, marketer, wife. Don’t mess up. They tail me.

I have issues, pressing things that need to be handled – bills, agendas, contracts, promises that may not come through. They tail me.

What is tailing you, demanding you to take your eyes off of God?

Work? Others? Finances? Fears? Demands? Children? Health? Progress? Pride?

When we allow external pressures to make us testy,
we can easily miss God’s majesty.

Yet, when we let people or things do what they may do, but we keep our eyes straight, we find ourselves driving straight into peace, calm and serenity.

How do we do this?

Let’s investigate 5 Ways to Keep our Eyes on God:

1. Be present – If you look for God everywhere, you will find him.

2. Delight in him – If you worship him and commune with him like a best friend, he will become your best friend.

3. Detangle with him – Let the best counselor, the Holy Spirit, counsel your heart when it goes haywire (John 14:26). He will, you know, and you’ll find a way.

4. Observe Gods’ teachings intended for you – Consider the question, “What is the Lord trying to teach me through this?”

5. Say thanks – When you get offering thanks, you get knowing who you really are – a loved child, who God will always provide for. You relish in the feeling, your God and your forever standing.

Sure, that man nearly bumped me. He nearly bumped my heart right away from receiving the love of God, but this is the ultimate truth: Even if you get away for a moment, as a believer, your heart will never be removed for an eternal lifetime.

With this, we can just get our heart, our being and our focus back on his trajectory. We can drive, and keep our eyes on God, knowing that we are heading into his glorious riches.

***All pictures taken by my 4-year old son! 😉

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

When You Need to Move Forward

April 21, 2016

Angela Parlin

failure, faith, Obeying, Regular Contributor

3 Comments

Post By: Angela Parlin

Maturity is a hot topic around our house these days.

These kids are determined to grow bigger, taller, and smarter each week, and along with that, they’re determined to grow in freedom. Sometimes I wish I knew how to slow it all down.

We often explain to our oldest two, that in this area or that, we need to see a little more maturity before we can allow greater freedom.

Strangely, there are days when it appears maturity is decreasing rather than increasing. Anybody else?

It probably has something to do with approaching the teen years. But let’s just say we’ve lived a number of wide-eyed, dumbfounded, What did he just do? moments around here. Since we’re only beginning this new stage, I have a feeling we need to be ready for more of that to come.

{Parents of teens & grown children are shaking their heads yes.} 🙂

But all this talk of maturity doesn’t only apply to our growing children.

The writer of Hebrews spoke to a group of seasoned believers who seemed to have slipped backward in their faith, maybe all the way back to where they began. They were seasoned, yet spiritually lazy.

He was teaching them about the significance of Jesus as their High Priest, when he said–

“It is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand.” (5:11)

One–I think I may have a lot of use for that line.

But two? Ouch.

Could this reprimand be meant in any way, for you and me?

I think of how I’ve run from complex spiritual topics at times. When it overwhelms me or I can’t figure it out, I move on to something else. But maybe what I need is to work out my faith in those areas.

Maybe I don’t need to try to figure it all out, but to persist in understanding.

I think of the spiritual disciplines I have declared “too hard” for me. The ones I’ve rationalized with, I’m just not there yet.

Or the times I committed to read through the Bible in a year. But when I got “stuck” at Leviticus, I skipped a number of books or abandoned my plan altogether.

Yes, sometimes, even as grown-ups, we run away when things are hard.

So what does it look like to move forward to maturity?

Persevere.

Progress.

Keep at it.

Persist.

Move forward.

Take one little step after another.

It looks like growing our relationship with the Lord through solitude, the Word, and obedience.

Years ago, I finally persisted through Leviticus all the way to Revelation, without looking back. I kept moving forward through the Word, developing a greater thirst and a more complete understanding. All that forward movement caused more of the same.

You know what I think held me back before? I didn’t desire to grow. I wanted to have read through the Bible, but I didn’t want to do the hard work of thoughtfully considering ALL the words, even those in Leviticus and Numbers and the Chronicles.

But this is our calling–the calling He’s given all of us.

I’m not talking about reading through the Bible, though that could be part of it.

God calls us each to move forward, to move toward Him, to grow up in Christ.

Are you willing to follow His call, even when it’s hard work? Do you want what’s on the other side, to know Him more?

What step will you take today, to move forward, toward spiritual maturity?

Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity. Hebrews 6:1a

Angela Parlin is Dan’s wife and Mom to 3 rowdy boys and 1 sweet girl. In addition to spending time with friends and family, she loves to read and write, spend days at the beach, watch romantic comedies, and organize closets. But most of all, she loves Jesus and writes to call attention to the beauty of life in Christ, even when that life collaborates with chaos. Join her each week at www.angelaparlin.com, So Much Beauty in All This Chaos.

When People Are Disgusting

April 20, 2016

purposefulfaith

Contentment, faith, fear, Love & Health, peace

2 Comments

When you have toddlers, you have to make a lot of trips to the bathroom. It’s never too fun either. Public bathrooms ARE ENEMY #1!

So, when I walked in and saw a lady doing what I am about to tell you, my stomach turned. It flipped and flopped and, all I can tell you is, my eyes so badly wanted to squint tight, silently telling her, “What the heck are you doing?”

Lined up on the counter were six triangular shaped pieces of toilet paper in a row. Each one of them had blood drenched tips. In her nose were two wads stuck up tight. She pulled them out – more blood.

This is disgusting! Who does this?

After finally getting dear daughter all set, we pushed out the door and played with the toys right beyond the bathroom door. But, as I sat, God pricked, “Kelly, where is your compassion. What happened to your heart?”

I remembered another woman. She was a bloody woman too. She was so bloody she was legally unclean. She was disgusting, she was deplorable. She was a societal “issue”.

For 12 years she lived like a walking fountain of sickness (Luke 8:43), likely shunned, scorned, and embarrassed. Likely, feeling like she even hated herself. Likely, feeling alone.

Did people even care to know what was wrong with her? Did people hate to see “her issue”?

I am just like them.

Who disgusts you?
What issue do you hate to look at?
What makes you sick?

“And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me.” (Luke 8:46)

She simply touched his hem, but did you notice what Jesus gave this woman? What he handed out? I have not heard in other places Jesus mention “virtue” as his healing.

Virtue in greek means dunamis.

Dunamis = power & might

Jesus restores not just what outwardly plagues us,
but restores insecurity and worry
with power and might.

It looks a lot like blood; blood poured out on the cross.

The lowly one healing.
The hated one loving.
The despicable blood moving, transforming, reforming…

To be like Jesus, we might consider doing the same – extending our strength to the unworthy? God’s kindness leads to repentance, after all (Romans 2:4).

Who do you need to offer virtue to?

What if, when you get brushed against disgusting and despicable, you – strengthened the person?

By:
Hugging them.
Loving them.
Telling them God cares.
Showing your heart.
Explaining that you want to see theirs.
Offering compassion with no strings attached.
Letting your heart come to life…

I am not saying it will be easy, because the last thing I wanted to do was approach that lady. But, as she walked out the door, head down, and eyes trying to quickly catch my disdain – it is exactly what I wish I would have done. I only wish, I would have stopped her, talked to her, understood her and, maybe even, prayed for her.

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The Question: It Will Bring Life Or Hold You Back

April 19, 2016

purposefulfaith

awe, birth, dreams, faith

21 Comments

I know what you all would say. I am blessed. I got invited as guest on Proverbs 31’s “Compel Conversation”.

You may say, “What is the issue, Kelly? This sounds like a good thing.”

It is. I agree, except for this likely question: “Tell us a little bit about yourself…”

What “little bit” does anyone even care about? Who am I?

Am I the middle schooler who won the Junior Olympics bronze medal for race-walking (yes, it’s as duckish and as funny-looking as it sounds)?

Am I the caffeinated and domesticated house-cleaner, laundry-pusher and child-rearer who works tirelessly to keep the house moving?

Am I the secret vagabond woman who loves to pack up all her goods and travel to some new and foreign land that she hasn’t traversed? After all, I am taping up brown cardboard yet again…

Am I the woman who hides in the bathroom when life gets tough and kids become screamers?

Am I fighter woman, the one constantly trying to keep one hand on God as my feet side-step this world detonating with traps?

Who am I? Who are you, really?

How do we sum up the 78 organs that make up “woman” when they are constantly changing? Growing. Shrinking. Aging. Becoming. Dying.

And why is there this demand that we know?

Will we ever know?

Because I don’t. And, I don’t know if I ever will. And perhaps this is the point. Perhaps we won’t really know our place in home, until we really arrive at home. Perhaps, we won’t see our tailor-made and perfected job in God’s kingdom until we walk right up to the gates – and pull them open – and walk right in.

Then, we will see…

Then, we won’t share a “little bit,” but we will radiate in “the everything” God made us to be.

Does all of this transcend to the here and now?

When do you feel alive?

When I stand in Christ’s love,
I become more aware that who I am is – one – made to love & be loved.

I see:
It is not who we are, but whose we are.
I am not scabbed, but healed by truth.
It’s not about me, but about how God sees me.
It is about where he wants to go…

this is when I come alive.

Perhaps, all these little moments – with God – they force the true out from the cracks.

The heaviness of me…
can’t stop the new growth of God.
It is not restrained by the weight of life…

A woman made in the image of Jesus.
A woman walking with his being in her.
A woman pursuing the dream of his cause.
A woman existing in his truth.
A woman fighting against her desires to win and succeed and – to walk all over people.
A woman looking to get untied, so she can rely on him.
A woman falling on her face, but getting back up again.
A woman healed from things that could have killed her.

This is a little bit about Kelly: A woman twirling in love. A woman listening to the Spirit’s leading. A woman always anticipating more doses of God’s best.

Who are you?

What heaviness is tying you down?

What might God’s love want to push out from within you?

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When You Keep Losing What You Want

April 18, 2016

purposefulfaith

doubt, failure, faith, fear

3 Comments

My dear friend, Christy Underwood, is joining us today. As you will see, her endurance and perseverance is both admirable and touching. I saw it in action as she went through this trial. Today, her story reminds me that even when we feel like the world is hurting us, still, God is always pursuing us.

The nurse came into the room. The test came back negative. My fears were confirmed. I was not pregnant. I had lost the baby. It was difficult but I was thankful that it was early on in the pregnancy and I had minimal physical side effects from the miscarriage.

The doctor told us we should wait a few months before trying again. In the meantime, I went to a women’s conference with our church. A girl at our table told us about a book she was reading called, “Heaven is for Real.” She shared a part where the little boy meets his sister who had died in his mom’s tummy. I excused myself from the table, went to the bathroom, and cried. The Lord spoke to me in those moments. It hit me that the baby we lost is God’s child too, just as I am God’s child. I had focused too much on how I lost MY baby. I was able to see how God loves our/His child the same way He loves me. I realized that God wanted life for His child just like I did. He is the Creator of life. So, why did our child die?

Because we live in an imperfect world.

God could have intervened – but He didn’t.

He chooses not to control our world, because He wants us to have the free will to choose – Him or not.

A few months later, I got pregnant again. I was scared but knew I had to trust the Lord. Our sweet girl is 3 years old now.

After lots of trying – and waiting – to get pregnant again – it happened. Yet, when they did the initial ultrasound, they couldn’t find the heartbeat.

“Take this medication and return in a week.” That’s what the doctor said.

That week was one of the hardest, most anxiety provoking weeks of my life. Nothing had changed. They could see that I had been pregnant, but we lost the baby again. I waited for my body to do what God designed it to, but I was on an emotional rollercoaster. I sought the Lord and He spoke to me. I questioned if God understood my pain, my loss. He said that He indeed understood more than I would ever be able to understand.

He allowed His Son to bear our sin and pay the price, so that we could have a relationship with Him.

“This is how God showed love among us:
He sent His one and only Son into the world
that we might live through Him.” (1 John 4:9)

Time passed, and I got pregnant again. The technician was able to show me the baby and the baby’s heartbeat but the baby was measuring a little smaller than expected. I was hopeful but nervous. I went back a couple weeks later and the baby had barely grown. There was no longer a heartbeat. Again, Lord?

We lost this baby the day before my daughter’s 3rd birthday.

For some, this may have ruined the day. For me, I saw God working. I was thankful to have a brief time of mourning and then found myself rejoicing in the child He had already given us. The Lord was reminding me of all I had to be thankful for. I knew he was going to teach me something. The message I heard this time was, “Praise Me. Focus on who I am.” A song came back to me that I had briefly focused on during my last miscarriage, “Praise You in This Storm,” by Casting Crowns.

Here are some of the lyrics:

I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am

And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

What storm are you trying to survive?

How is God calling you to praise Him in the midst of this storm?

It comes down to a choice. Will we choose Him or not? Let’s keep our eyes on Him no matter what a fallen world sends our way.

We don’t know what the future holds or what God’s plan is for our lives, but I know – I will do my best to trust Him and seek His will above all else.

Will you?

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Christy (left) is a wife, a mother to one sweet girl, and a speech therapist. She’s lived in Southern California her whole life. Kelly and Christy met in their early 20s at a church retreat and have supported each other through all of the crazy transitions life keeps bringing.

Kelly’s must-add words about Christy: Christy inspires me to be a better friend. She asks the real questions, the tough questions and the caring questions. She is honest and fun all at the same time. She is a woman who seeks after God with her whole heart. I thank God that he made matched us together, two friends who “get” each other. I can’t wait for all the years she and I have ahead of us – in this crazy ride called life.

Thank you, Christy, for using your story for God’s glory!

Why “Easy” Will Hurt You

April 15, 2016

purposefulfaith

blessings, Contentment, faith, fear

5 Comments

I remember when I first saw it. It glowed. It seemed to sparkle. It radiated as the sun touched it’s outsides. All I knew is I wanted it; I had to have it.

Nearly fresh out of high school, with only babysitting money to my name, the magnetic pull of this silver convertible seemed to draw me in. Silver on the outside and hot red on the inside, it would make my college days – easy. Or, so I thought.

I signed on the dotted line and then rode off with my hair flying wild down the highway to what I imagined would be wider smiles, lines of friends and feelings of happiness all around me.

It seemed easy. It felt free – for a moment.

But, free is not free, if you feel an object is the real impetus behind who you are destined to be.

I got glances at a light, but no real relationships in my life. I felt separated, dependent and strapped onto ten-year finance charges. What was supposed to drive me to happiness, was driving me into me into a career dragging debt. It didn’t seem so easy anymore.

What “easy” do you seek to quell the hard things in your life?

What easy do you run to in order to “deal”?

Collecting easy may feel free, but it often drives us right into a tin box with wheels called trapped, especially if God hasn’t authorized its purchase. Sure, we can collect things, and feel good in a moment, but here is the real deal: Love doesn’t hold up well on the shelf of shiny untouchables.

Love is meant to be handled, dispersed and outpoured. It is meant to get dirty and grimy. It is intended to bend a knee on the dirt to wash another’s feet. It is meant to pull close to sin and to address it tenderly. It is meant to be in service.

Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. John 13:14

Love is like Jesus. Love is like a benefactor that can’t stop giving. Love is like the best gift ever – with no price tag.

You can never scan it and bag it and show it off like that.
People aren’t attracted by it’s shine.
They are attracted to its authenticity,
within you and me,
the Spirit making his way – out.

Yet, there is one thing we do have right,
we desperately need it.

Our clawing hunt will continue if we look for it in things,
for things are just illusions that hide our eyes from Him –
God.
Enduring peace.
Everlasting joy.
Encompassing love.

So, let’s keep our eyes fixed there, and, perhaps, we will get somewhere. Perhaps, then, rather than feeling like,“God, why have you abandoned me to this?,” we will feel like, “God, wow, I never knew life could be so full of this.”

Then, we will collect moments of fullness that could only be orchestrated by a God of greatness. We will kneel down and praise him. Our hearts will feel full.