Blog - Purposeful Faith

The Value of Getting Quiet

May 23, 2016

Today, I am delighted to welcome Suzanne Vel from Christian Fellowship Church in Virginia for our Ministry Monday Series. Clearly, God brought our paths together, for Suzanne has a powerful story and a message to be shared. I hope you enjoy it!

“You have everything you need to have freedom and you aren’t doing anything with it.” God wasn’t yelling at me, or condemning me. He was just calmly encouraging me.

To give some background, at a recent family reunion, I had listened in on a conversation where my husband was explaining to a cousin that our church had started encouraging people to experience God’s presence through a daily quiet time and that the end result was true, personal freedom.

This got me thinking…

My cousin’s heartfelt response was, “freedom that’s what I want!” But, it wasn’t until the very next morning that God spoke into my spirit and encouraged me to get started.

Due simply to my desire to be obedient to God’s prompting, I started. The initial goal was to keep going for fifty days, but almost immediately the results were too good to stop.

Fast forward 600+ days, now, I have met with God every single day. Can I tell you? My life is a new creation, the old has passed and the new has come. I feel it.

I did not know fear controlled all of my decisions
until I started letting God and His Holy Spirit speak.

Now when I am prompted to give, I give and it brings me peace.
Now when I am prompted to serve, I serve and it fills me with indescribable joy.
Now when I am prompted to encourage another, I speak words of life over them and watch us both find our true identity in Christ.

My journey is overflowing. Each day, I ask God what He wants me to talk about and I post the words on Facebook.

The devotionals led to many friends encouraging me to write a book.

The book idea led to me thinking it was impossible but instead of choosing fear and worry I let God take the lead and show me the way.

He led me to a website where I could easily publish an ebook. The ebook website led me to another site where I could self-publish an actual book, and that website led me to the next step (which I plan to take soon) of creating an audio book as well.

As you take it step-by-step by and through the Spirit,
you realize, nothing is impossible with God.

What seems impossible for you?

Might you consider, what you can’t do – the Holy Spirit might equip you to do? It happened with me.

Jesus’ sacrifice for you and me, it was costly – on that cross. Please don’t make His sacrifice for you a waste because you never take the next step and find personal freedom for yourself.

Walk in. Step deeper.

I started the journey and it has led to the most peace, joy, hope, love and patience than I have ever known. Will you?

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About Suzanne

Suzanne is a wife mother and believer in Christ. She has a passion and dedication to anything she puts her heart to; from early morning quiet times with God to training for five full marathons. She learned about God on her second date with her future husband, Randy, when she was 22 years old. She grew in her faith continually, but it wasn’t until she learned why she really wanted to know God as her personal friend and confidant that she found out what it truly means to have faith in the one true King. Suzanne’s goal now is to show others how to find their why so that their lives can be as dramatically changed as hers was on August 11, 2014.

Check out Suzanne’s book, To Show His Love: Fellowship with God Changes Everything.

Activating the Power of Thank You

May 20, 2016

purposefulfaith

blessings, fear, Freedom, giving

5 Comments

The poor thing, she had been up all night hacking.

I shut my door.

“I can’t sleep if all I hear – is her,” I thought.

I wasn’t trying to be cruel, but, we all know how mothers end up when sleep gets lost. They turn ugly, mean and tense. I hate being that lady; I get mad at that lady. Anything not to be – that lady.

Hours later, the barks still ensued. Then, an internal battle ensued – do I get up or do I not get up? My mind wrestled: If I get up, I will never get back down. I will never fall back to sweet and delicious sleep again – I know how this game goes.

I climbed out of bed, checked the clock, stubbed my toe and headed to the medicine cabinet. It was the unseen hour that called for more medicine. Moms don’t give up.

Begrudgingly, I kicked open the door, my mind half out of its own mind. I stumbled in, expecting to drop the junk down her throat and stumble out. But, what happened next woke me. It jolted me like coffee.

From her helpless position, she looked, and said, “Thank you, mommy.”

My heart nearly dropped to the floor. Wow. She sees. She knows. She appreciates.

I felt loved.

I felt adored.

I felt alive. I would have gotten up a thousand more times, every single night (well, maybe), just to hear that sweet honey come off her lips.

I mattered.

Do I show God he matters like that? I wonder. I doubt it.

Guilt hits. Then, love arrives. God doesn’t need me to know he matters; but, I need him to know I matter. And, maybe this is the point. It’s probably far less about what he gets from these words and far more about how I feel when I speak these words. It is far more about me seeing the rescues, the panaceas and the answers that arrive out of nowhere. It is far more about me realizing how loved I am and how far out of his way he would go to help me.

Now I see: The small whisper of thank you is the moment you realize you’re daughter – and you’re really cared for.

It is the moment that you realize God would do anything to love you.

It is the joy that comes from receiving instead of striving.

It is the power that unfolds from heaven right in your lap.

It is the realization that kingdom come will come because God gives good things.

It is the inclination to bow down and see how tall God really stands over the world.

It is looking at the might that has might – and acknowledging it.

It is the strong hold of one stronger – that has the power to take hold over your life.

It is you not being you, as you normally are, but being you – with gratefulness.

It is the uncovering of the jewels you never knew existed.

It is the unwavering trust that he will do it again.

It is seeing him as he is – good.

Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! Ps. 106:1

Thanks gives legs to greater faith, for it believes in the one who gives – and will give. The giver is daddy. He pours out every time. And in the process, as we trust this, we are changed. We become little balls bursting with humility, dipped in his love, coming out covered in good. We become sweetened by grace and full of excitement about who we are becoming.

Thanks is anticipation of God’s faithfulness. It, frankly, is delicious.

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When You Wax & Wane

May 19, 2016

Angela Parlin

faith, Regular Contributor, truth

10 Comments

Post By: Angela Parlin

From her bedroom window, the full moon glows.

Rays bounce to the north, south, east, and west, painting a cross of light over a pitch dark sky. Supermoon circles large in the center of a bright, shining, old, rugged cross.

I sit on the corner of her bed, watch my sleeping beauty breathe, and I stare at the moon.

“God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars.” –Martin Luther

Tonight, God wrote the gospel on the moon, and I needed it more than I knew.

Many days, I gulp down living water early.

But then I run through days, where the gospel feels lost on me.

Some days start on a high note, but tangle up in chaos before we reach the middle. Some days, I have to convince myself to try get on top of it all. Instead, I feel irritated. I can’t stop moving, but I’m only running in circles.

When I finally sit down for a few minutes without little people asking for more pieces of me, I ask God really mature and selfless questions.

Why won’t they ever leave me alone?

It’s not what I really want, other than the opportunity to pause and re-center.

The night of the supermoon, it hit me.

The way of the moon is to wax and wane, and the light can all but disappear sometimes.

My light can all but disappear, in the jumble of kids and school and endless meals and the house with its dirt and projects and always so many things to do.

My light disappears in the way I react to their childishness and stubbornness and rips and smudges and everywhere messes.

I want to remain in Jesus, to be a light that shines His love day in and day out, even when it’s only for my little crew.

I also want to be left alone sometimes.

I want to stay on schedule.

I want my house all put together.

I want to complete things when I start them.

And since none of these are entirely possible, some days my light goes out. Or at least grows dim.

How is it so hard to remain in Him, when I do take the time to begin in Him?

The night I saw Him cross the moon, my heart welled up with this visible shot of gospel, in the middle of my own frustrations and failures.

His cross was brighter.

His love was stronger.

His work outlasted my own.

Once my eyes were fixed on Jesus again, I could see it all more clearly.

There is so much beauty in and around and through the chaos of our days.

God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone. This doesn’t diminish the importance of the Bible. Nothing compares to opening the pages of His Word and hearing from the Lord.

But God surrounded us with all this beauty, His own glory. It fixes our minds on Him again, and maybe there’s always more to see.

So when you look up at the sky today or the stars tonight, or when the wind blows through your backyard trees, I hope you will remember.

I hope you will look and see Jesus above the roar of your life’s chaos, and you will continue in Him. And you will remain in Him.

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Angela Parlin is Dan’s wife and Mom to 3 rowdy boys and 1 sweet girl. In addition to being with friends and family, she loves to read and write, spend days at the beach, watch romantic comedies, and organize closets. But most of all, she loves Jesus and writes to call attention to the beauty of life in Christ, even when that life collaborates with chaos. Join her each week at www.angelaparlin.com, So Much Beauty in All This Chaos.

A Pep Rally For Those in a Bad Mood

May 18, 2016

purposefulfaith

attack, doubt, fear, grace

4 Comments

Hey you, things not going well?

Hey you, struggling again?

Hey you, people driving you batty?

I am so sorry it feels everything is working against you, I know how that is. I really do. It’s tiring. It’s hard. This world has rough edges. It is not gentle with them either.

I also want to say, “God is for you.” I can almost hear your response, “Ya, ya, ya, Kelly, we’ve heard that one before. It sounds nice in theory.”

Let me tell you something – you can know it – and not live it. But, when you live it – you more and more start to know it.

What takes voice is not vile or vitriol but, love, grace and hope; it heals.

It may look something like this:

Screamers in the car? “God is for me. God wants this to work out. God will equip me with patience.”
Waiting around for something to happen? “God is readying all the players, so his game can be won.”
Enduring a trial that won’t quit trying you? “God is training me. He molding me and making me more like Christ.”
Deathly tired? “Today is #anightmare, tomorrow is #newmercies.”

What if rather than seeing how life is fixin to ruin me
I sought to see how God is renewing me?

To let the weight of God’s love sit heavy, is to not allow worry to break your back.

What if we saw things differently?

Sure, it may feel we are on our last leg, about to tumble over. Sure, we may feel tired. Sure,we may feel like our emotions are a hot mess. But, what if we chose to give a little hat nod to all that and then determined to fix our eyes somewhere else?

When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. (Psalm 94:18-19)

Notice this, it says: “My foot is slipping.”
Notice the fell-swoop rescue: “Your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.”

Daddy-bird protects his young; God lifts us from our injury through the power of love.

Notice this: “When anxiety was great…”
Notice this: “Your consolation brought me joy.”

Anxiety was plentiful, but joy was available.

What does joy in distress look like?

5 Little Glimmers of Joy against Distress

1. It looks like, “Thank You.” God, thank you that you love me. God, thank you that you are with me. God, thank you that in every single moment, you are singularly focused on helping me. Thank you that Jesus proves it isn’t always easy, but you are always faithful. Thank you that there is life beyond this wretched life.

2. It looks like, “Worship.” God, you are mighty. You are strong. You are capable. Where I cannot, you can. You will redeem, because that is who you are. You are Redeemer. Faithful and true. High and lofty. Holy and worthy. Greater and stronger. I am small, you are big and, because of this, you can do the impossible. I see a mountain, you just see a molehill.

3. It looks like, “I trust you anyway.” God, let the chips fall where they may, because where they fall is just where you want them to land. And, when they do, it will be your jackpot that rings out. For what you are working, is greater than what I am seeing. And where we are going, is greater than where I feel my emotions stand today.

4. It looks like, “Help me.” God, I need you. Restore my joy. Hear my cry. Answer my call. I need you.

5. It looks like, “I will go with you.” God, I choose to see you in my day. I choose to see the little gifts of joy – the smiles on my kid’s faces, the butterfly passing by, the river that rolls on steady, the sun that is ever at my back. I choose to let you in, when darkness abounds. You are there. I will search you – and then, find you.

Bad Mood Prayer:
I don’t have to, God – for you will. I don’t need to God, for you are. It is okay that I feel down. It is okay to struggle. It is okay to have a hard day. God, you can handle my worst day. You will be faithful to me. Restore me, bring me back to the place of love, of consolation – for that is all I need. Amen.

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Going with God instead of Going in Fear

May 17, 2016

purposefulfaith

Contentment, failure, faith, fear

35 Comments

Here I am. Somewhere new.

My husband and I packed it all in the car…every single item we could. Balls went into crannies, books went in nooks and luggage found container spots I never knew existed. We drove 20 hours straight. Sleepless. Determined. Eager. Excited. Taking a one-hour sleep detour at a highway-hugging rest stop, so as not to kill ourselves.

I was headed somewhere new.
Expecting better.
Letting the carrot call me.
It always has…

I wanted a new school to teach me new things, so I would finally be smart. I wanted new friends to finally love me. I wanted new clothes rather than a uniform. I wanted new experiences to make me wise. I wanted a new place to make me new, the shiny girl that everyone wanted.

What new are you searching for?

Somewhere else. That is the place of promise…

It looks great until you get there, then you see what is wrong with it.

Then you see – flaws.

My first thought: “This place doesn’t have that much.”
My second thought: “I don’t have any friends here.”
My third thought: “I am going to have a horrible summer.”

I gazed out my shiny new window, “Things aren’t going to turn out. I’m going to hate life here.”

What pile sits before you – that you can’t sort? What looks impossible?

My husband approached, somehow reading my mind, “God has whispered to me…’Kelly, we need to see his good, his life, his opportunity.’“

God is greater than meets the eye – his great is always ready to unfold.

Beyond trash, there is a God who knows the route. A God who sees the whole horizon. A God who knows how to steer around potholes. A God who is well aware of the way.

Will I embark? Will I step up as the traveler, along for the ride? Sitting under shelter? Waiting on his timing? Soaking in his opportunities? Expectant of the view?

Yet, believing, all the same, that every road ends at love, which is the real feeling of being enraptured into beautiful.

“And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. (Is. 58:11)

I am driving into his presence.

By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. Ex. 13:21

He will sit over me and be over me.
He will sit over you and be over you.

He will progress me into his progress.
He will progress you into his progress.

He will help me see the horizon of the new he is going to do.
He will help you to see the horizon of the new he is going to do.

He will be. And so will I.

“Be still and know that I am God.” (Ps. 46:10)

And, just doing that opens up a whole new view. A trajectory. A horizon of hope. A story about to unfold.

You are, God – God. Today I declare it and tomorrow I will continue to believe it. Amen.

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Go Directly to Jail

May 16, 2016

purposefulfaith

Contentment

4 Comments

I am delighted to have Christi Miranda joining us for Women’s Ministry Monday today. Christi helped open my life up to writing. Like Christ, she gave up her spot for me at a writers conference and it changed my life forever. Thank you Christi. I am so thankful.

Post by: Christi Miranda

“Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200!” This is how I often felt growing up in church.

You see, I was raised in church. I cut my teeth on church pews. I sang in the children’s choir, played hand bells (oh yes, hand bells). I was a gleeful giraffe on the Noah’s Ark float in our town parade & I went to summer camp every single year as a child! I am a bona fide Church Girl to the bone! That said, I have been well-trained to follow the rules and can be quite adept at feeling guilty for almost everything I do wrong.

Somewhere in all the lessons and singing, I think the lists of “Do’s & Don’ts” made me believe that I had to prove my worthiness to the Lord. And of course, when I mess up, there’s a guilty voice scolding & condemning me inside. You know the voice! It says things like: “Well I didn’t do my quiet time this morning so I have to start all over…” Or, “Did I just curse at the car in front of me?! I’m going directly to Hell.” and then Mom Guilt chimes in saying, “I didn’t pray with my daughter tonight… what kind of example am I??” Maybe I’m the only one who has had these feelings of not being good enough…but I doubt it.

While I am very glad I was raised in church, I realize that the truths of God’s Word have come through the opinions and filters of people. Flawed people, just like you and me.

Let me ask this: Have you ever been afraid that God would overlook you? That no matter how long your hand was raised in the air, He would rather pick someone else? Like in grade school when it was time to pick teams for kick ball, I would be chosen last. I’ve never been athletically inclined so the only reason I got picked at all was because everyone had to play. Somehow, somewhere in my life, that’s how I began to view my walk with Jesus. I’d think to myself, “If I could just be better, God would choose me for something.” Or, “If I get it right this time, God will pick me for something great.” And just like you, I am well aware of my own shortcomings. So, these nagging thoughts became a vicious cycle of me trying to prove that I was spiritually awesome & perfect; all while butting my head against the fact that I was not. Ouch!

I felt like God would overlook me and I had to do everything in my power to get Him to love me.

Full disclosure? I haven’t fully overcome this fear. I can preach to folks about God’s love with passion and power and share that God is crazy about them and has a purpose for their lives, but me? I’m not always so sure. Every now and again, that religious insecurity raises its ugly head and this preacher girl has to preach to herself!

I take my list of confessions and speak the Word out loud. Ignoring the knot in my throat and choking back the tears, I remind myself of a few things:

God has NEVER ONCE
rejected me,
left me, lied to me or failed me.
lied to me
or failed me.

God. Is. Pleased. With. Me.

And then I declare with a little sass:

I Am Loved.

I Am Accepted.

I Am Not Alone.

I Am HIS!

I was born on purpose, with purpose and for purpose!

Ya’ll, these words, HIS Words, are life & health to my very bones.

They steady me and help to straighten my spine.

Do I have instant victory? No. It does however help me realize that I do not have to start all over. I can get up from exactly where I am without having to go directly to jail and move forward.

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About Christi

Christi’s personal mission is to move people from surviving to shining!

A passionate speaker, Christi is known for being relatable and energetic. With real life stories and unique illustrations of God’s truths, Christi is a keynote speaker for various women’s events and is noted for her authenticity.

Christi shares the story of God’s beautiful grace & strength after painful loss & becoming a single mother. Through a clear and direct message of victory & healing, she ministers to those who feel that life has taken their “shine” forever. Christi shares her story of hope to help women uncover the hidden gleam of God’s work in their lives.

Her greatest delight and joy is raising her daughter, Julia. She feels extremely blessed to be the mother of her feisty “Princess Warrior”.

Christi serves as an associate pastor on staff at The Potter’s House Church of Denver under Pastor Chris Hill.

7 Actions that Stifle Unstoppable Faith

May 13, 2016

purposefulfaith

expectations, failure, faith, fear

4 Comments

I remember as a girl, I always wanted to see over the counter. I was convinced that at the bank, there was some magical land of lollipops and rainbows beyond the reach of the counter that extended above my head. I wasn’t privy to that party.

There is something about growing – about knowing that you are heading you’re supposed to be going. About letting life’s happenings naturally becoming learnings. About seeing progress. About getting a view.

I feel that way with God too. I want to grow so high with God, I get a view of all his glorious riches, right beyond the barrier of my mind, will and ways. I want to get to where he is.

All this makes me reflect:

Am I stagnating or progressing with God?

Am I growing or regressing?

What about you?

Anyone who isn’t with me opposes me, and anyone who isn’t working with me is actually working against me. Mt. 12:30

Often, I am not working with God. I am working with myself, for myself and by myself. It’s called Kelly Utopia where everything is structured, finite and detailed. God gets in at prayer times and at extreme moments of need. Beyond that, he mostly finds himself stuck beyond the glass barriers of my bubble. I hang the sign, “Keep out God. Only Kelly’s Plans Allowed.”

I want to grow contagious and unstoppable faith. Perhaps, this means it is time I consider what is hindering it…

7 Actions that Stifle Unstoppable Faith

1. An oblivious heart – If you think you’ve got it all together, guess what?! You don’t.
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Ps. 139:23

2. A stubborn will – If you never confess, you will someday attest that your life feels in the boondocks and God’s gone left you.
Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. Rev. 2:5

3. Over-working – If you get so busy doing, that you forget to see how God is loving, you will find yourself panting and out of breath with no energy left to go anywhere.
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God… (Eph. 2:8)

4. Self-thoughts – If you are thinking of self, you can’t be thinking of God. If you are in your ways, you can’t be in his. But, if you communing with God, you are comingling with grace. This is where growth happens. It is also called prayer.
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. James 4:8

5. Knowing what is wrong and doing it anyway – Enough said.
Whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. Ja. 4:17

6. Succumbing to lies – If you let in anything but truth, you will live by lies. Who have you been listening to?
You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth? Gal. 5:7

7. Getting proud – You can’t let in, him whom you don’t think you need.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Prov. 11:2

Now, after looking at this list, if you are anything like me, your first inclination, might be to stare in the mirror and give yourself a quick backslap for messing up so much. For doing 6 out of the above seven things. For falling so short.

Shoulders slumped, you might feel that daddy doesn’t really want you anymore. This brings us back to #6, because that is a lie. God loves us. God wants us. It is for this reason he gives us these truths, these guideposts that lead us to the right way. He wants us on his trail – with him – holding his hand. He wants us in step with him. He wants connection like we do. He wants our great faith to bring us somewhere great. He is for us (Ro. 8:31).

With this, I want to let go – to God, what I have done wrong and start afresh. Do you? For God says, our sins are lost, not to ever again be found. Pardoned, for, us, those he has saved. (Jer. 50:20)

This feels like a fresh breath of air delivered like a shot to my lungs.

And, just knowing this – it also feels like growth. It feels a lot like peering over the counter right into God’s face.

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That’s “Nacky”

May 12, 2016

Jami Amerine

blessings, expectations, failure, Holy Spirit, Speaking Truth

4 Comments

Do you have a funny word you embrace in your home that is totally understood by everyone under your roof, coined by a toddler?

When my sons were babies they called my daughter Maggie, “Yaya.” We still call her this.

My cousin called underwear “O-di-os.” And we rarely say underwear, they are O-di-os.

And it spans the generations. My husband’s family still teases about getting your “baby-soup” on so we can go swimming, a term my husband used as a toddler.

I am 44-years-old, and my family still calls washcloths “hoffcloths.” I have never lived down that which I said… when I was two.

Our oldest son John called spoons “Mooshes” and nasty “Nacky.” At our youngest son’s 1^st birthday the 3-year-old John was exasperated by his baby brother’s “nacky” face after he ate cake with his hands instead of with a “moosh.”

These word oddities are habits, often we must correct ourselves in public as the nonsense isn’t appropriate outside the clique of family.

Recently one of our kids made a mistake, he was mortified. The man-child went on a rant about his foolishness. I consoled him and encouraged. He couldn’t get past his folly and berated himself ruthlessly.

It broke my heart to him speak so harshly of himself. I rubbed his shoulder and mused, “Oh you are just being NACKY! Stop!”

He softened a bit and rolled his eyes. At 6’3” with a full beard, I am certain he wishes he could break away from the baby talk.

A couple days later I had to get on the scale at the doctor’s office.

Ugh.

My encounter with too many “Mooshes” was making my “O-di-os” too tight and my body was not ready for “baby-soup” season.

I grumbled at myself – disgust.

I mumbled ugliness about my lack of self-control and my disdain for my current state.

I blew my nose and wiped some tears and heard a familiar, still voice from deep within.

“That’s nacky.”

And I knew the voice.

And I knew the term.

And I knew the voice meant my critical assault on self, not the size of my hiney.

I was being “nacky.”

And more than tears over my current physical struggles, I was slain by a wave of love from my Heavenly Father.

I was reminded that “nacky” feeling I had when my son was hating on himself for making a mistake. A mistake that could be remedied. A mistake that was done without malice, simply an earthly mistake. In an instant I was in unison with my Lord and all the ways, He parents me.

He wanted me to ease up. He wanted me to turn to Him and talk, ask for help, and then let go. And no, not let go and continue to not care for myself, His daughter. But to stop haranguing myself with “nacky” self-hatred.

Just like the horribleness I felt when my child was so unforgiving with his folly, God opened my eyes to the parallels of my punitive words.

His gentleness continues to move me. A good Father, encourager, and devoted parent who craves a chance to nurture and love on me. He died that I might have amity with this life. His spirit lingers, whispering tender love and peaceable direction.

His love is perfect.

His parenting flawless.

He is completely void of nackiness….

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! –1 John 3:1

May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained. Love, Jami

7 Ways to Speak Grace Into Your Life

May 11, 2016

purposefulfaith

blessings, Contentment, faith, fear, grace, guilt

4 Comments

Every week, after church, I ask my son what song he sang. I wait. Half the time, I get no answer, the other half, I exert patience until he starts to belt it out from the back of the car. Almost always, a smile spreads across my face. Almost always, I can’t wait to hear his little voice reflect on God, but this time, it was different…

“Pat, the bible. Pat the bible….,” he sang out a couple of times….
“Or, you will get a con. se. quence.” he finished off.

Every time he sang it, it got a little louder, until the full volume of his voice filled the car. Sister joined in. It’s been the song of the week.

Is it the song of my life?

Why do I pat the bible?

Do I do it out of love or do I do it out of fear?

Do I draw near to God, because I fear God’s disapproval or
to sit under Jesus’ undue, but already-gifted approval?

To perform, due to fear of disapproval sounds like this:

– I must pray more.
– I really need to be more loving.
– I have to do my morning reading time.
– God won’t bless this.
– I will never meet his expectations of me.
– I will be less loved because of it.
– I am obligated to go to church.
– If I mess up, severe punishment awaits.
– I am a bad Christian.

I feel these ways sometimes, friends. I fear God will want to disown me because I haven’t paid the right Christian dues. I haven’t paid the piper enough. It is a horrible way to live; it serves the wrong kind of daddy – an impatient, punishing and demanding one.

“Pat the bible. Pat the bible – or you will get a con. se. quence.”

“The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.” (Psalm 145:8)

God knows I sin. God knows, even my good acts are bad (Is. 64:6).

I know it too; this is my fear. I look at my heart, it strays. I look at my mind, it doubts. I look at my ways, they reek of impatience.

God, do you hate me for the ways I hate myself?

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1 Jo. 4:18)

With gentleness, these words remind me, He waits for me – not like a jailer, but like a releaser, with the key. He’s ready to fling wide the gates of outpouring love as I truly draw near to his heart. To get there, I have to find myself sitting under grace.

To sit under undue approval sounds like this:

I am sorry, God. Thank you that you still love me.
I don’t need to do anything, for it is only you that I need.
If I find your love, I will find my life.
I seek your Word, because I love your Words.
My best is not good, but your good is all I need.
Your kindness leads to repentance, so walk me to it, God. (Ro. 2:4)
Thank you that you continue to love me, even though…

The gentle truth is: God doesn’t look at our performance, he looks at our heart. He goes beyond curtains and stages and facades to get a look at the behind the scenes footage. Why not, let God in more?

Why not, lay down our shows? Sure, we won’t rule the hows or the whens, but God will mold us in the reflection of his face of love and adoration.

Getting “Good with Grace” Prayer

God, I am not who I pretend to be. I want you to see me as a good girl. So often, I feel like a bad girl, though. Thank you that, with you, there is no need for masks and makeup. You want to see me as I am; I don’t scare you. You can handle my worst as I bring it to you. With this, I no longer want to cower before you, I want to kneel – arms-wide-open – and look into your face of love. I want that face of love to change me. I want to know there is no fear present in your love that will always flow towards me. I want to sit under the cross of Jesus, knowing that it shades me from your contempt. Help me stay there. You are the face of freedom. I thank you for Jesus. I love you; may it prove genuine. Amen.

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When You Don’t Know What to Do

May 10, 2016

purposefulfaith

awe, Contentment, doubt, expectations, failure, faith

39 Comments

I am living in the center of chaos. Clothes are hanging off the brink of my mind. Papers are strewn all over the place – and I am quite certain the wind just blew one in my face.

I feel like I am stuck in a desolate landfill of all the stuff I have consumed over the last 4 years – stuff I don’t really need. Stuff that holds me back in a way, from being free. It tethers me to the demand that I find – home (big home, even). It demands I – arrive somewhere. It pushes me. I glare at it.

I guess I want to be free. Free to find home with no reservations required – as the Spirit leads.

To be delivered to the Promised Land of peace, friends and love – unrestrained.

I haven’t gotten there yet. That stinkin’ place? It eludes me.

You too?

What place do you want to be delivered to?

What home of peace, answers, calm, relational bliss or finances are you pining for?

I sat down, in the center of it all, everything I wanted to escape – and placed my face in my hands. I looked at all the things I couldn’t handle, I considered all I couldn’t bring about and I realized there was nothing left to do. Anxiety can nearly kill a woman, you know.

The pressure to do, the stern inner dictates and the will to take care of all the baby birds, it’s enough to induce panic.

“God, save me from my self. Show me your ways.”

Every prayed that prayer?

It works. He answers.

It takes the traveler, the one stuck to eternal roaming with bags too large and heavy for her own britches and sends her on her way. She moves from jet-lagged and famished, walking around, searching (otherwise called living-hell) – and heads home.

She gets somewhere.

Something rises up.

It sounds like this: “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” (Is. 30:21)

Bags unloaded, it is a resting spot. Where, bags down, you lay and look up. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. It doesn’t matter what time your flight is to destination delightful. It doesn’t matter how you go about making it there. It just matters that God is going to be faithful.

When you see God and you see his way – it doesn’t matter so much about – your way.

A voice rises above the mayhem. It is not about being delivered from what plagues you, but being delivered to – who calms you.

I missed all that.
Have you?

The truth is:

Jesus wants to be with me – wherever I stand.

Jesus has a way for me – wherever I am.

Jesus has planned life for me- in whatever I do.

Jesus has truth laid out for me – wherever I go.

I don’t have to fret the when – for Jesus already figured out – the how.

He’s never one to let me fail – and every time his love prevails.

The world may spin, but the cross is steady; it is planted in the solid rock of truth. Truth walks me to life. Life is knowing, God will lift my foot up and put it where it needs to go. He will manage my wavering opinions, doubts and fears.

Do you believe he will do that for you?

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps. Prov. 16:9

I lean back. My lungs fill. We don’t have to control chaos, peace knows the way. And out of the chaos, we get what we were always after – home – his waiting love.

The question is, will we, like prodigal children, return to it?

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I did not know fear controlled all of my decisions until I started letting God and His Holy Spirit speak.

As you take it step-by-step by and through the Spirit, you realize, nothing is impossible with God.

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It is the unwavering trust that he will do it again. It is seeing him as he is – good.

“God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars.” –Martin Luther

But then I run through days, where the gospel feels lost on me.

The way of the moon is to wax and wane, and the light can all but disappear sometimes.

How is it so hard to remain in Him, when I do take the time to begin in Him?

There is so much beauty in and around and through the chaos of our days.

What if rather than seeing how life is fixin to ruin me I sought to see how God is renewing me?

Anxiety was plentiful, but joy was available.

What new are you searching for?

It looks great until you get there, then you see what is wrong with it.

What pile sits before you – that you can’t sort? What looks impossible?

God is greater than meets the eye – his great is always ready to unfold.

Yet, believing, all the same, that every road ends at love, which is the real feeling of being enraptured into beautiful.

I am driving into his presence.

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God has NEVER ONCE rejected me, left me, lied to me or failed me. lied to me or failed me.

God. Is. Pleased. With. Me.

Ya’ll, these words, HIS Words, are life & health to my very bones.

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About Christi

Am I stagnating or progressing with God?

Am I growing or regressing?

What about you?

7 Actions that Stifle Unstoppable Faith

God, do you hate me for the ways I hate myself?

Getting “Good with Grace” Prayer

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

“God, save me from my self. Show me your ways.”

When you see God and you see his way – it doesn’t matter so much about – your way.

I did not know fear controlled all of my decisions
until I started letting God and His Holy Spirit speak.

As you take it step-by-step by and through the Spirit,
you realize, nothing is impossible with God.

It is the unwavering trust that he will do it again.

It is seeing him as he is – good.

What if rather than seeing how life is fixin to ruin me
I sought to see how God is renewing me?

God has NEVER ONCE
rejected me,
left me, lied to me or failed me.
lied to me
or failed me.