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Contentment, faith, Freedom, grace

“He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power.” (Is. 40:29)

When I read these verses, do you know what I think?

I think: That’s great He does all that – for them.

It’s great that he cares for the weary people who have cancer, or the poor people in India or the single mom in Detroit. He is SO loving to all them. But, I never apply God’s Word to me…

…even though I fall entirely in this camp. I am weary from packing up my whole house and carting boxes all the way to a new state. I am weak from trying to sell off my whole house and I am lacking might in the kindness department as night gives way to another night of no sleep.

But, I hardly count myself like them. I hardly place myself in the camp of the needy and poor people who should get God’s best.

“Blessed are those who have regard for the weak;

the Lord delivers them in times of trouble.” (Ps. 41:1)

What about you? Do you regard yourself?

Do you easily admit you are:

Weary
Weak
Lacking might
In trouble

What strikes me is that when we admit these things, we receive strength and power. It’s what this scripture says will happen. But, part of it happening is allowing it to happen.

You know, we can stop it from happening…

I’ve never been able to shove a popsicle in a kid’s mouth who didn’t want it. Nor have I been able to make my husband accept time of rest when he didn’t want it. Nor have I been able to fully feel God’s love when I didn’t make time for it.

David, the man who wrote this Psalm, even said, “Have mercy on me, Lord, heal me, for I have sinned against you” and “Even my close friend, someone I trusted…has turned[ against me.” (Ps. 41:9)

He admitted his gunk. What’s yours?

Psalm 41 says God:

– protects
– preserves
– does not give people “over to the desire of their foes”
– sustains
– restores those who are weary and lacking.

Seems like everything I need. What about you?

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

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Are you Feeling Crushed by Life?

August 15, 2017

Contentment, doubt, faith, fear

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I heard this horrible story. On a warm evening a few summers ago, a boat hit a dock. A dock full of people.

A moment before this happened, they had no idea what was about to hit them. They drank cool drinks, enjoyed the summer breeze off the bay and laughed…until the load of a power boat hit them full force.

The boat flipped over, right onto it all. Right onto their party. Under the falling weight of this boat a five-year-old boy was caught.

He should have died. He should have been crushed. He should have never stood up again from the weight of it all…except, he did.

He got back up. He had a second life, a second chance, a free pass because an Adirondack chair caught the boat’s fall. It held the boat up at just enough of an angle so the boy could survive. He could crawl out.

And, he did. Despite all odds, he lived.

The cross of Jesus Christ is our Adirondack chair. I don’t care what kind of crushing power is coming against you right now. I don’t care how horrible the bills, the arguments, the conflict, the meanness, the stress, the blows are around you – the cross of Jesus Christ, the strength of his sacrifice and the inarguable greatness of his love – saves. It doesn’t save just once.

Over and over again, when life falls with a blow so hard it wants to kill you, Jesus holds things up just enough so you live again. So you walk out, miraculously, unscathed.

Jesus doesn’t save only for eternity; he saves for today. By faith, believe it. Believe in his saving power. It is in you…

“And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.” (Ro. 8:11)

Thanks to the cross, the power of Christ and the Holy Spirit, we have wiggle room to crawl out from any crushing load that falls on us. There is nothing that can ruin us, ever. Get on your knees again, crawl out, brush them off and know: Because Jesus overcame, you can too.

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” (2 Cor. 4:8 NIV)

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

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What Does That Woman Think of Me?

August 14, 2017

approval, Contentment, doubt, faith, fear

We climbed the train, tucked away our luggage for the long haul, then headed to the lounge where we got some waters and drinks. Relaxation time! Well, not so much. The kids were nuts. They tackled each other on the booth cushions and screamed like animals at a wrestling match. I eyed the woman staring at me to the left. I glanced down the row at a man who couldn’t keep his eyes off them. I motioned to my husband, “It’s time to go.” But what came next shocked me.

As we headed out, the woman with a pixie haircut and eyes that didn’t quite catch you straight stared a bit beyond me and said, “You have beautiful kids. We love watching them.”

I was shocked. You love them?

She went on to tell my family and I that we shouldn’t leave the lounge. And if we did, we should return soon.

And with this thought, I began wondering how often I suppose women hate me when they actually: A.) Want to get to know me B.) Are intrigued by me or, C.) Are looking my way, yet not even thinking about me?

Recently, I learned about the Spotlight Effect. It means the vast majority of the time you think people are critiquing, watching or condemning you, they aren’t. They’re likely thinking about themselves and what they are wearing, doing or saying. They’re caught up in their own spotlight.

To boil this down further, it means people are quite often thinking about themselves. And when they aren’t, they are thinking about what you are thinking about them.

Everyone is wrapped up in their own world.

So, those women who I think hate me?
They’ve probably moved on to pondering who hates them.

The person I offended, who I am convinced constantly tracks it?
She’s probably wondering why she doesn’t …blah…blah…blah…

The girl I was a terrible boss to years ago?
She’s probably just concerned with doing a good job at her work, today.

What if we let go of the pressure of what everyone else is thinking? What if we let go of the burden of owning other’s contentment? What if we just let our goal be to please God and seek him, plain and simple?

What if we let go of everyone’s load? Because it pains us to carry it.

“For each one should carry their own load.” (Gal. 6:5)

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

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Why Do People Always Let Me Down?

August 11, 2017

What do you do when, despite everything, people don’t do what you want them to?

Surely, this is the real question of life. Surely, if people fell in line, had no comebacks, did as I wanted and/or put up no fight, life would be so much easier, wouldn’t it?

I couldn’t help but think this as my daughter fought me tooth and nail to go to sleep. I couldn’t help but think this as my best efforts were overlooked by family members today. I couldn’t help but think this as I was stood up by a friend, even though we’d made plans – and confirmed them, twice. I couldn’t help but think about how someone dear to me talked behind my back.

I sighed, then thought…

Why can’t people follow through?

Do what they are supposed to do?

Be consistent?

Be loyal?

Not cause me issues?

Without all their issues, life would be easy. I’d live in continual peace, unending joy, and I’d be kind, considerate and easy-going to boot. But, bring these people into it and they’re a nail in my tire. They deflate me…

Subconsciously, I’m sure, these thoughts swirled in the back of my mind as I gave my son a well-timed lesson. I said, “My dear, we want our ‘yes’ to be ‘yes’ and our ‘no’ to be ‘no.’”

We want people to know we’ll do what we say. That we follow through. That we are considerate…not mess-ups like those horrible meanies who let people down.

(Um. I didn’t say that. But, I guess, I sure thought it.)

My son turned to me and said, “Mommy, you didn’t let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ when I wanted to see the solar eclipse that time.”

And by George, he was right. I didn’t. I forgot that time. Then, I fumbled and bumbled because despite my best intentions, I didn’t follow through. I tried to make up a story as to why it was better to see some half-baked moon, rather than the real deal. I faked it, to cover my mistake. Why? Because I felt horrible.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Mt. 7:3)

And maybe it’s the same for these people. Maybe they had good intentions… Maybe they planned to do something good… Maybe they hoped to follow through… Maybe they wanted to see me… Maybe they wished things turned out different… Maybe they hoped they acted differently…

Maybe.

We’re all just trying to do this thing called life. Not one of us has a monopoly on “perfect.”
This thought = freedom.

The more leeway I give to others’ mistakes, the more grace is free to work into mine. It’s a funny thing. Somehow, this wiggle room makes room in my heart, mind and soul for me to contend with the fact we’re all just people trying to do as good as we can. Then, forgiveness and love makes space for others. It allows their explaining, discussing, apologizing. It listens. It understands. It empathizes. In a sense, this gives my own imperfect self the same permission I extend.

In the giving of grace, we learn to receive it. It’s a crazy thing.

So today…

Grace to the person who cuts me off. I’ve ripped into the right lane to get off an exit.

Grace to the husband who speaks quickly. I’ve cut him off 100 times.

Grace to the woman who reacts sharply. I’ve had hard days too.

Grace to the mom who is anxious. Oh yes, I’ve walked a day in your shoes.

I’ll give you love and God will give me room to know I can lean back on him, even when I find myself leaning right into a pile full of problems.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

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Do You See What I See?

August 10, 2017

Jami Amerine

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Post by: Jami Amerine

Our three-year-old son Charlie was throwing a tantrum. As he thrashed on the floor screaming and crying. I went about my daily list of to-do’s, trying to ignore him.

After 15 minutes, my patience was waning. The bellows were piercing.

I walked over and stood next to him.

He stuttered through his sobs.

“I – want – to – pway – wif – da – my – pad.”

“I am sorry,” I explained, “you may not play with the iPad because you bit your brother.”

“Get on da fwoor wif me, down heeewr you can why come I had to bited Sam!”

I didn’t want to get on the floor, actually I was pretty sure if I got horizontal I would lose the day. I would end up watching Maxx and Ruby all day, wondering where their parents were, napping, foraging for snacks under the couch cushions and ignoring the laundry.

I grabbed the remote and dropped to the floor.

Charlie cuddled into me and whimpered.

From the floor view, I could see what he saw. I needed to vacuum. The furniture needed steam cleaned, I spied no less than 8 Cheetos (bonus.) Everything was much more daunting. Maybe biting was the best defense for trying to get your turn, when no one seemed to listen or see your point of view. Sure, violence against your brother…sin is never the best defense, but it is usually my first line of defense.

Offense.

An offense as defense is never a good play, still, it is usually how I roll. Truly, I am not much different than the towheaded toddler grieving “mypad” time in the crook of my arm.

Suddenly, it occurs to me this is why Jesus came to Earth. What better way to identify with us? To experience our point of view, to live as human so He could simply say, “I know baby… I know.”

Most assuredly He was both God and man. He overcame temptation like a boss, but He faced it. We can assume as a boy He skinned His knees. He hungered and He was thirsty. We are told He was tired, angry, exasperated, pained, and most importantly, Jesus wept.

We were sent a Savior and left a Helper. The Helper reminds us that the Savior understood the view down here. This is dear to me. The truth of a God who would die for me so that when I behave badly when I stumble in my humanness, He is there to catch me, holding me close.

Charlie reached up and played with my hair and said, “Sowwee I bited mommy.” I reached behind me and pulled a Cheeto and an M&M out from the cushions and handed them to him.

“I forgive you, baby. It’s not easy being human. Grace to you my love.”

I switched on the tv and we watched Maxx and Ruby, ate couch granola, and wasted the day being human beings with a perfect view from way down here.

“Like the Son of Man, who did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life to redeem many people.” Matthew 20:28

Jami Amerine is a wife, and mother to anywhere from 6-8 children. Jami and her husband Justin are active foster parents and advocates for foster care and adoption. Jami’s Sacred Ground Sticky Floors is fun, inspirational, and filled with utter lunacy with a dash of hope. Jami holds a degree in Family and Consumer Sciences (yes Home Ec.) and can cook you just about anything, but don’t ask her to sew. She also holds a Masters Degree in Education, Counseling, and Human Development. Her blog includes topics on marriage, children, babies, toddlers, learning disabilities, tweens, teens, college kids, adoption, foster care, Jesus, homeschooling, unschooling, dieting, not dieting, dieting again, chronic illness, stupid people, food allergies, and all things real life. You can find her blog at Sacred Ground Sticky Floors, follow her onFacebook or Twitter.

Stop Trying to Fix Yourself

August 9, 2017

expectations, failure, Regular Contributor

attack, Contentment, control, doubt, faith, fear

3 Comments

So, I know you all know I wrote the book, Fear Fighting. I also know you know if there is anyone who should be fearless – it’s me. But, guess what? I admit it. I am not.

After a recent stressful situation, I was told by a family member, “You need to work on your anxiety issue.” This gave me anxiety.

Before she made this comment, I was leaps and bounds more anxiety-free than ever before. In fact, I considered what God did a miracle. But right after she said this, it felt like someone dropped a 50-pound brick off the Empire State building and it landed on my chest. The burn started up…

For days, I lost any sense of inner comfort and felt a new overwhelming sense of pounding nervousness.

Oh, how I wanted to blame her.

But I didn’t…well, I kind of did.

Man, what I’d worked through, she put back on me.

For days, I worked to work it away. For days, I pressed to bring back God’s peace. For days, I struggled and fought to pretend it wasn’t there. For days, I felt acted upon and angered by it all.

For days.

On the 5th day, I said to myself, “Of course, Kelly, you have anxiety. You’ve been through a hard time. You had a big family issue. You had some sin issues within yourself to contend with. You’re taking on a huge project right now, as you write a new book. And, you are also moving in a few days to a new area. It’s like the world is on your shoulders. Make room for this emotion to live, to breathe before God and be patient. God will work there, in the space where self-hatred is absent.”

I realized I could stop “performing peace” and let “Peace” come. And this is what happened. With less attention on performance and a clear focus on God’s love, it faded.

Jesus took it. He took it as I focused on Him – not on it. He took it as I remembered his all-sufficiency. He took it as I made room for rest. He took it as I let go of any anger I once had at that family member. He took it as I found myself free to not fix myself. He took it.

Thank you, God. Please keep it.

What might Jesus want to take from you through peaceful waiting? Where you are absent of self-hatred, remorse and condemnation? Where you don’t demand yourself to improve but wait on God?

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

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Crushed By My Own Expectations

August 8, 2017

Abby Mcdonald

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My turn to share was coming, and I wasn’t ready. While the other women on our Google chat discussed their writing goals, my mind spun on repeat. Summer gave this word a whole new meaning, and I was still processing it.

Ah yes, goals. What were those again? My goal yesterday was to keep the boys playing outside for more than twenty minutes before they came back in screaming from bloodied knees and bumps on heads. Today it was to make it to bedtime without yelling.

Sometimes my goals vary by the hour. It’s my first summer with three kids at home, and my mental capacity seems to wane a little more each minute.

This afternoon I turned my head to see our eight-month old trying to eat a dart our son left on the floor. (Don’t gasp; it was foam and rubber) Fortunately we were able to dislodge it from her death grip before she added purple styrofoam to her diet.

So, needless to say this Google chat was a welcome diversion where I could talk to other women like an actual adult. I listened to plans about our shared passion for writing and encouraging other women. It was bliss.

But my mind wasn’t on the future. It was on all the ways I’d failed over these summer months.

Click here to read the rest of this post and join us at Abby’s place for today’s #RaRaLinkup. Can’t wait to see you there!

When People Attack You

August 7, 2017

The person said something horrendous about me. They said I take things personally and don’t always see things for what they are.

I have to tell you, I took it personally.

They were the ones with a finger pointed at me.
They were the ones with three fingers pointing back at them.
They were just as guilty of everything they accuse me of.
They were attacking me with mean words and I didn’t want to listen.

They pushed me to my boiling point. I was enraged with my stomach was in knots and my chest red hot with anger. Clenching my firsts, I wondered, “Why am I always the problem?

I didn’t want to listen anymore. I wanted to walk away. I wanted to be done with them and the hurt they caused.

They aren’t for me. They are against me.

Sometimes it’s easier to mark people as one way or the other: For or against, good or bad, rude or kind, attacking or compassionate. It’s easy to mark someone, turn the other way and be done. Be done with what feels intrusive. Especially when it attacks your heart in a personal way.

But what if their words have merit? I considered this: Perhaps the words I am trying to kill could heal if I let them.

What words have you taken personally? What might happen if you permitted what you pushed away to inch its way into your heart? How would God use it?

“Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.” (Prov. 19:20)

What if the words being sent to us are heaven sent? What if God doesn’t allow them for our demise, but he uses them so we can rise?

Powerful is the woman who sets her mind on God, changes, and grows in his name. She listens to others. She considers words aside from her feelings, quick responses and rebuttals and sees the other’s view.

Friends, I admit I do take things personally. I get hurt easily. I am sensitive. I like to be seen in good light. I have a hard time seeing my flaws. But in Christ, I am not reprimanded and sent to bed with no dinner. I am not chained to my sin. I am not berated and yelled at to do right.

I am helped. I am comforted. I am encouraged.

I may not be perfect but as I actively pursue Christ, I am helped. I am moving from glory to glory, grace to grace and peace to peace. I am shedding off Kelly Balarie and finding the real Jesus.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” (Gal. 2:20)

The pain of listening, admitting and owning is worth it…for when we die, we find Jesus alive in us.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

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Why Coming & Going is Not Boring

August 4, 2017