Blog - Purposeful Faith

Give Yourself a Little Grace

September 19, 2017

Post by: Christy Mobley

Recently while playing back a Facebook live video I discovered an ugly truth…

I don’t have a chin in my profile view unless I smile.
I stumble when searching for the right words to say.
And I forget to look and mention each person that tuned in—how rude!

As I watch the video again, I think, I should have done better. Silently I resolve never to do another Facebook live video.

The ugly truth? Gasp—It wasn’t perfect. The realization? Ugh, I’m a perfectionist.

Perfectionist: A person who demands perfection of him or herself.

A couple of years ago I would have never called myself out as being a perfectionist because to me, a perfectionist is someone who has to make everything perfect—meaning they accomplish the task. Since I knew I couldn’t make everything just so, I surmised I didn’t fit this description.

But I was wrong.

I do try to make everything perfect but it’s according to my own standards. And I set them pretty high then I beat myself up when I don’t measure up. This often leaves me feeling like I’m good enough.

And that’s sad.

This idea that I shouldn’t ever make a mistake—mess things up, well, it’s paralyzed me and boxed me in for years. It’s kept me from trying new things, from moving forward, from chasing my dreams.

Have you ever felt like this, even partially? If you have and you are like me, you probably don’t know where this need for doing things flawlessly originates.

I believe perfectionism is a scheme of the devil. Another kill, steal and destroy game plan.

It kills our drive. It steals our joy. It destroys our dreams

Satan feeds us lies to keep us stuck. Because when we hold ourselves to this unreachable standard we keep ourselves from taking a next step—from learning.

By God’s divine design we learn by making mistakes—trial and error. If we are scared of goofing up how can be ever move ahead to the great things God has planned for us—our divine destiny—our God-given purpose?

But there is hope. It’s called grace.

And grace looks like Jesus—God’s greatest gift to us.

I am good enough and you are good enough because Jesus was good enough to be the perfect sacrifice for us. Because Jesus took our place on the cross we’ve been made perfect in God’s eyes. No more striving. It’s already been taken care of. By God’s grace it’s been done.

“For by grace you have been saved though faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8 (ESV)

His grace allows us the freedom to be all He intended us to be.

And though I now intellectually know this, I‘ve believed the lies so long its been a slow recovery. But I am recovering. You too?

So let us perfectionist types forge our way forward bravely running head on into mess-ups, blunders, goofs and mistakes, allowing God to refine us through each one. Knowing and believing that as His children, He sees as not only good enough but priceless, blameless and beyond compare. Already perfect.

So give yourself a little grace. God has.

Christy is an award winning writer, national speaker, wife, mother, mother-in-law, and first time grandma! She is passionate about helping women see God working for their good in the midst of their circumstances.
When Christy isn’t with family, speaking or writing, you can find her on the tennis court chasing a fuzzy yellow ball.
You can connect with Christy on her blog, Joying in the Journey, Facebook, and Twitter

Loading InLinkz ...

Healing Inner Regrets

September 18, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment

5 Comments

Have you ever done something you didn’t want to, and then regretted it?

I regret being a woman who desperately wanted men to like her. I regret not standing up for who I was. I regret not standing firm when people tried to tell me what to do.

Because I think all this produced a thick heart. Skin that is like cow hide.

And now I tend to not trust people easily, believe what they say, accept things without considering the strings attached or believe people will like me – for me.

I consider ulterior motives. I consider God’s ulterior motives.

As if he says to me:

If you aren’t good, I won’t be good to you.
If I don’t think you are serving me well enough, I’ll be distant from you.
If you don’t spend time with me, I am angry at you.
If you don’t give enough to me, I am over you.
If you don’t have something to offer the world, I’ll pass you over.

I am being frank with you today.

I am also convicted that hearts covered with protective skin are not God’s best working ground. He loves a supple heart that lays in his hands. One that, when he presses on it with just the slightest amount of loving pressure, responds.

So, I’ve forgiven those who never asked for forgiveness. I’ve asked God asked to soften my heart. And I’ve requested to hear his voice. God speaks to us today, something like this:

I won’t hurt you.
I don’t need anything back from you to love you.
I’ll love you as a good, pure and holy Father, forever.
I know where I am taking you. It is not to a place of harm or ridicule.
I don’t have plans to help and then hurt you.
It’s not what you do for me. It is what Jesus did for you.
If you take off what covers your heart, I’ll reach in and heal it.
I’ll grow you because I love you.
I care for hearts, including yours, with care.
You can trust me.

His perfect love casts out my fear.

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

When You Meant to Follow Thru, But Don’t.

September 15, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment

1 Comment

I was shocked when I got the email. My friend, Jackie, said, “We really need to pray for Jennifer.”

I wasn’t shocked she said we needed to pray; this I was fully aware of. I already knew Jennifer was headed toward dangerous, murky no-return waters. What shocked me was Jackie, one I considered maybe-connected to God, was telling me to pray.

And she busted me. I wasn’t praying a lick. Instead, I was tossing up my arms, doing nothing and giving God no chance to change a single thing.

It was Jackie, the maybe-connected-one-to-God who was praying. I was just sitting there.

Guilt dropped on me like a hammer. And so did the remembrance of many other things I didn’t do. . .

Like following through with a friend who came to church with me. I never made time to return to her house with love and the right words after that day.

Or being present for a friend dealing with a life near breakdown. I was too caught up in my own movements.

Or making the regular phone calls to the friends I know who are struggling in their marriages. I only saw my life.

Or taking a mom I met at my child’s school for coffee, like God prompted me to. I got distracted with other things.

Or making the time to meet with the people God placed around me for a time of impact, such as now. I forgot about them.

When we only see our world, we miss God’s world. The one he intentionally set before us – for impact. We miss his higher calling.

God’s higher callings feel like taking a lower road. They feel like setting aside our stuff. They feel like remembering the least of these. They feel like doing something when you’re tired. They feel like acting, anyway.

What higher calling might God be setting before you, where you have to take the lower road?

There is no day better than the present day to move on what he’s set before you. Move, so one day, like me, you don’t look back and say, “Sorry God, I forgot to do so much.”

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Gal. 6:9

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Is That You Jesus?

September 14, 2017

Jami Amerine

Freedom

1 Comment

I have only been blogging for a couple of years. In those years I have interacted with many amazing women. I have found that among the things we do not have in common, there is almost always one thing we do have in common.

We are the walking wounded.

I have yet to meet a woman or receive an email from someone who says, “I have no battle wounds, I have not a single emotional scar. I have never been let down, lead astray, hurt, disappointed, cheated, lied to, manipulated or violated.”

In this life, these things happen. These bad things happen. They sneak up on us, and they change us, sometimes – they define us. This is tragic but in my case, and what I am now learning, in the case of so many women, these incidents also defined Jesus.

What?

Well, yeah. Think about it, do you have an incident where you were hurt or hurting that a human being, someone you loved or trusted said or did something that you have now negatively associated with Jesus?

At my brother-in-law’s funeral, an older parishioner came up to me and said, “God must be trying to show you something. Don’t let this lesson go to waste.” I believed this lie. I believed that God was up on high killing, cutting innocent men to ribbons to teach me… the worst person on the planet, who ate too much cheese, a harsh lesson.

Ridiculous.

But I believed this. I believed in an irrational wrath. I believed His fury could never be quenched. I was certain there was no telling who would be next. I was exhausted, paralyzed and petrified. As I typed words of His goodness and truths of His mercy, love, and unending favor His true character began to peep through my darkness. I began to question what I knew about Him.

And then I began to grieve what I had come believe about Him.

One Thursday afternoon, I fell into His arms in the most genuine of submissions. I curled up in His lap and recited scripture after scripture about His goodness.

If He is for me who can be against me?

If nothing can separate me from His love, why do I keep a list of things I believe have alienated me from Him?

If Jesus died, rose again, and then sat down… why do I think I must work to finish anything?

If Jesus came to give me life and peace and joy in abundance, why am I so stressed and sad?

The litany went on and on and when it was finished I was free. Free from the terror of believing I was doomed, that my children were doomed… that the other shoe was about to drop because I messed up my Weight Watchers points. The lists of things I believed I did wrong could never catch up with the meager list of things I did right. The things I did right? How could ever measure if they were enough?

In the midst of the revelation, I was writing my first book, which you can now find by following the link below. As excited as I am to share it here, on Kelly’s page, who was with me through every step of the journey, it is a very vulnerable time. I have cried buckets, rejoiced, and cried some more. Still, Jesus has been so real to me in these months, that is my entire focus. Although He doesn’t need me, I need to voice how wrong I was about Him. And I know this, He does want me. He craved me unto His death. Not to terrorize me, but to commune with me. He enjoys my company, I am His girl. He waits patiently for you as well, the unearthing of His true identity is one I wouldn’t have missed. He is indeed Bread and Life.

For more information about Stolen Jesus: An Unconventional Search for the Real Savior follow this link! And for a chance to a win an autographed copy of the book follow me on Facebook and then email me at sacredgroundstickyfloors@gmail.com and say FOLLOWED! I’ll draw Saturday, September 16, 2017, at 9:00 am central and announce it on my author page and then email you back for your address!

Jami Amerine is a wife, and mother to anywhere from 6-8 children. Jami and her husband Justin are active foster parents and advocates for foster care and adoption. Jami’s Sacred Ground Sticky Floors is fun, inspirational, and filled with utter lunacy with a dash of hope. Jami holds a degree in Family and Consumer Sciences (yes Home Ec.) and can cook you just about anything, but don’t ask her to sew. She also holds a Masters Degree in Education, Counseling, and Human Development. Her blog includes topics on marriage, children, babies, toddlers, learning disabilities, tweens, teens, college kids, adoption, foster care, Jesus, homeschooling, unschooling, dieting, not dieting, dieting again, chronic illness, stupid people, food allergies, and all things real life. You can find her blog at Sacred Ground Sticky Floors, follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

What it Looks Like to Be a Good Friend

September 13, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment

3 Comments

The checkout counter lady turned to me, right there next to my shopping cart and said, “Can I hug you?”

I wasn’t expecting it. I hadn’t done much to warrant it. I hadn’t ushered in world peace to the foundations of her life or dropped all my shopping goods to figure out her life plan or answered her every heart question. All I did was approach her in an authentic way.

When I came up to check out at Trader Joe’s (which I super-love, by the way!), she asked, “How’s your day? You sure bought a lot…” It was an understatement. My cart was so high the stuff was nearly toppling over on one side.

“I am trying to do a better job at taking care of the family. This is my attempt at it.”

She looked at the stuff and at me. Then she opened up about her stuff. I encouraged her and said a couple little things like, “I understand,” “I get that” and “It’s worth taking a risk. Risks you don’t regret, but regret, you do. ”

It wasn’t much. Not real brainiac stuff, but it was real. And this was the point, I suppose.

A couple days later, I met with another friend. She kind of shocked me when she did exactly the same. We were just hanging out and all of a sudden, she turned towards me, out of the blue, and hugged me. “Kelly, I’ve been through so much. It has just been one thing on top of another falling. Thank you for being here.”

I was taken aback.

Why are these people hugging me out of nowhere? I am doing nothing except being here with them.

With the checkout counter lady, I was with her as she talked about her future education, her fear and her boyfriend.

With my friend, I was with her as she explained how hard of a time it has been for her.

With.

Sometimes, the most impactful thing we can ever be is – with.

Not with – and giving advice.

Not with – and saying, “Oh you know, that once happened to me.”

Not with – and counting up what you’ll say next.

Not with – and thinking of other things.

Not with – and internally over their issues.

Just – with.

With…and understanding, feeling compassion, seeking to know, truly engaging, asking questions, responding generously, giving our true and painful story when led by God. Something I don’t do often, but I guess I did on those days.

The irony is that when you are with someone, you get touched back. God does it one way or another. People reach into your space and give you something you didn’t know you needed, but you desperately wanted. They cling to you and through authenticity, you realize you need them as much as they need you. They look at you in a way that lets you know your humility is shifting something in their life.

And one day, it’ll be you in their shoes – just needing to vent. It creates a security in your heart. Things will be okay.

“A friend loves at all times.” Prov. 17:17

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

When Storms Come In Like Wrecking Balls

September 12, 2017

Angela Parlin

faith, Regular Contributor, trials

3 Comments

Post By: Angela Parlin

It was Jesus’ idea to row to the other side.

With His disciples, He left the crowd behind, and traveled by boat to a new place on the far side of the lake. A furious storm suddenly raged. Waves crashed over the boat, and they nearly drowned.

Meanwhile, Jesus slept on a cushion in the stern.

If you think about what he had been doing before this little boat ride, his deep sleep makes perfect sense. At least from my introverted (and sometimes-exhausted Mom) perspective. He had been teaching crowds of people, eating meals with people, and traveling about talking with them and healing them.

Mark 4 tells us the disciples took Jesus along in the boat, “just as He was.” And what He was, was completely exhausted. Fully human…

Head to Angela’s Blog to read the rest of this post! Also, LINKUP your own encouraging post there for the #RaRaLinkup this week.

The Price of Giving It All

September 11, 2017

purposefulfaith

attack, birth, Contentment, doubt

3 Comments

Two shadows appeared. One was a small, old, hunched over man with a cane and the other a young and vibrant woman with a flowery dress.

Sitting, they leaned in toward each other and talked. A father and daughter?

All I could think as I noticed this man’s feeble body, his leaning body on that old war memorial was, “He must be telling her about a life that counted.”

He’s saying, “Sure, I paid a mental price, seeing all that war stuff, seeing people fall. The battles, the pain, the sacrifice. But when push comes to shove, I gave my all. My life. I offered up what mattered.”

Only a few minutes later, I saw the “Vietnam War Veteran” pin on his cap. I wanted to remember this man, because without saying a word, he delivered to my heart a message from God: Kelly, if you give it all up for me, you won’t look back and regret your life. You’ll sit on a memorial of what I did and rejoice over it.

I asked the man if I could take his photo. And I did. But after, he couldn’t get up. His hands wouldn’t support his weight. When I reached out my hand, he looked hesitant at the thought of grabbing it, but he did.

“Pull hard,” he said. I gave it my all. And all I could think as I pulled up the strength of this man, who was so weak, was how Christ gave it all. And how, at the right time, his broken body beat the ravages of earth to reign in heaven.

Jesus gave his everything to bring us all life and hope. Jesus paid it all so we could sit under the shadow of that memorial cross. Jesus gave it all so that we could end our lives, knowing all will end up being okay as we leave this earth. Jesus paid it all so we could accept a helping hand on the days we feel weak. Jesus paid it all so we wouldn’t have to kill ourselves by pretending we are strong, when we actually are weak.

Jesus fought for and bought our freedom. He won.

And he is winning today. He is winning whatever war you face. He’s behind you. He’s in front of you. He’s your future. He is your life. He is your answer. He is the beginning of your new thing. He is your help.

Live for him in a way so when you get to that memorial of your life and you look back, you’ll say, “With Jesus, I gave my all. In him, I fully believed.”

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Avoiding Panic When You Mess Up

September 8, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment

4 Comments

This morning, I woke up and thought, “There’s no blog post for today. I’m leaving everyone with nothing to read.”

I wondered what to do. Scramble and write something? Accept the fact that some days, I entirely drop the ball?

I figured the latter was better. Because like me…

There will be a day where you intended to __, but don’t __.

Or one where you should have __, but forgot to __.

Or could have responded with __, but completely __.

There will be those days. Days where you show up blank, devoid and empty. There will be those days. Days where you look at yourself and say, “How could I have missed this? How did I forget? How come I didn’t follow through better? Where is my mind?”

The decision at this point always is: Will I hate myself for it or will I trust God with it?

Will I choose to take the nothing I have and show up in front of God to hear his voice? Or will I wrestle my computer out and try to scribe something aimlessly in five minutes, miss my quiet time with God, and feel all kinds of rushed anxiety come over me while trying to fix everything?

“Martha, Martha,’ the Lord replied, ‘You are worried and upset about many things…’” (Luke 10:41)

To do, fix, regulate, work up, handle and come to the rescue are not the thing the Lord calls us to.

God’s things? He always sees differently. After all, his thoughts are not ours.

He said to Martha, the hustler, the busy lady, the rusher, the worker, the panicker…

“…But few things are needed–or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Lu. 10:42).”

Jesus cares for the “one thing.” What if we chose that one thing over our many things, even when we feel horribly exposed?

Do you think God might take that very area of exposure and address it? The opportunity is ours.

When I got downstairs, I pulled open my computer and read something from God’s Word. And I remembered today wasn’t actually the day I thought it was. It was a different day. There was a post set to go out. Somehow, in pursuit of the “one thing,” God decided to cover me. He always does.

As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him. Psalm 18:30

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

The Problem With Hiding Our Struggles

September 7, 2017

Abby Mcdonald

faith, fear, Regular Contributor

7 Comments

Blog Post by Abby McDonald

“Mama, the monsters are coming at me,” my son said.

He stood by the bed with his face inches from mine, hands animated. My mid-REM cycle brain lingered between sleep and reality.

“What?” I asked. I saw that my son was disturbed by something. After realizing I was going to have to get out of bed, I stumbled to his room. I gave the bunk a full examination before telling him to get back in.

Five minutes later, he reappeared. The monsters were still there.

For some reason, the miracle of a flashlight never occurred to me. Thank God for my husband who came to the rescue with not just a flashlight, but a headlamp. Under the pillow it went.

Sweet, uninterrupted sleep followed. The next morning, I realized this tool I took for granted revealed the truth: the “monsters” were in fact shadows. There were no creepy things waiting to grab him in the night. He was safe.

It’s amazing what a little light can do.

Even in the darkest place, a flicker of it can go a long way.

Recently, I needed some light of my own. But for months, I didn’t tell anyone. I went through a dark season where I listened to one lie after another. Lies telling me I wasn’t enough. Lies telling me I should do better as a mother, wife, writer and friend. Lies telling me I wasn’t going to make it.

I thought, “If I can just make it through today, things will get better.”

Good days came and went and when the darkness hit again, I thought, “I’m just having a bad day.”

Somehow, bringing my struggle out into the open seemed threatening. I convinced myself if I could carry it a little longer, it would go away. I thought telling someone would make it my reality.

But in truth, it already was.

One day I sat in church operating the media projector while the worship band played Healing Is Here by The Deluge. My eyes were wet with tears as I mouthed the words.

Sickness can’t stay any longer

Your perfect love is casting out fear

You are the God of all power

And it is your will that my life is healed

Did I believe that? Did I believe God wanted me to be whole, complete, and fully secure in his love?

As I sat there asking myself this question, a miracle took place. The pastor called a sister forward to pray over the offering, but the Spirit had something else for us that day. A rescue. A release.

“There’s someone here who’s suffering from depression,” she stated without hesitation. She said God wanted that person to know his healing power was for her.

The tears ran freely down my cheeks. But still, my butt remained glue to my seat. In the next half hour, our church literally became what Jesus referred to in Matthew as “A House of Prayer.” Service stopped. The sermon was postponed.

This woman’s husband stood up and extended a second invitation, and I knew I had to go forward. And as a stood there at the front of the sanctuary with my head bowed, her hand reached through the crowd and grabbed mine.

Music played in the background while this sister prayed over me, naming lie after lie that I’d listened to for months. It was a God-ordained moment.

And what I realized was this: Even when no one else saw my pain, God did.

“…for your Father knows what you need before you even ask him.” Matthew 6:8b NIV

I finally understood that hiding our struggles does not diminish their power. It increases it.

But when I gave my problem a name, I was able to take the first step toward healing. I said, “I’m not going to let this rule me anymore.”

When we bring our darkness into his Light, he shows us truth.

Like my son with his headlamp, we can see the shadows aren’t able to defeat us. Though they lurk, they can never stand a chance against his perfect love.

Friend, no matter what you’re going through today, know this: God sees. Bring your fears, your problems and your sickness into his Light today. Tell someone you trust. Take a step forward.

His healing power begins when we reach for his hand.

Abby McDonald is the mom of three, a wife and writer whose hope is show readers their identity is found in Christ alone, not the noise of the world. When she’s not chasing their two boys or cuddling their newest sweet girl, you can find her drinking copious amounts of coffee while writing about her adventures on her blog. Abby would love to connect with you on her blog and her growing Facebook community.

When Life Doesn’t Look Like We Planned? (suggestion)

September 6, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment

1 Comment

We feel it all around us these days, don’t we? It’s like there’s a heaviness to the world and a magnitude to all we’re enduring. Despite the swirling political commentaries and happenings in the United States, the pain can hit at home too.

I spent time eating with a friend yesterday. I could see it written all over her face: the days were not what she expected, nor what she signed up for. Her life was different than she would have written.

And, while I kind of wanted to rewrite everything for her, I couldn’t. The weight sat on me. I remembered all the hard times I’d gone through: the days where I thought I couldn’t get out of bed, ever believe God again, face another phone call to a friend who would ask me how I was, endure another endless search for a new job, see the reality of the life I had ended up with.

I remembered the feeling of complete discontent with my lot in life – and the fact that I didn’t end up with a lot.

I remembered how, little by little, God pulled me out of that funk by helping me remember:

1. I could take Jesus’ peace and literally hold it as my own.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. (Jo. 14:27)

How? We say it like this in our mind: “Christ, I am accepting your peace. I am going to allow it, right now, to calm me physically, spiritually and emotionally.”

2. I am not in control of my happenings, but when I’m under his control, things feel much better.

The Lord says this to you: “Be not afraid or dismayed at this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s.” (2 Chron. 20:15)

God is the best warrior.

3. Jesus’ blood covers me every minute of every day.

“In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace.” (Eph 1:7).

There is no perfect life, but there is a perfect Savior who perfectly covers us with his love. We can rest there, no matter how bad our days look.

My prayer for you: Dear Lord God, the goings aren’t always easy, but your coming repairs us, renews us and transforms us in the thick of pain. Help us to rest in you and to be restored in your love. We praise you. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.