Love. It is our highest and hardest calling.

Usually, as I lay my head down at night, it is love that I regret not having been full of. It is love that I desire more of. It is love that I desire to learn from God.

Jesus laid down His life.

Jesus gave up His life.

Jesus offered His life as a ransom for millions.

Love gives up what it has. Love counts no cost to putting others first. Love sees not its own way, but God’s.

So often, I lack it. I see my goals. I see my plans. I see prayer for myself, but not others. I see my dreams that I want accomplished. I see impatience bust out when the seams of my life are pulled. I see my world and my problems. Sometimes, it is hard to see love.

So where do I start? To be like Jesus, where do I start?

I used to think it started with me trying, working and striving harder.

“I really need to…”

“I’ve got to…”

“I have to…,” I’d say.

I still say those things sometimes. But, when I do, I forget it is God who works in me to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. (Phil. 2:13)

In the presence of my working harder, it is far harder to remember who I am in Christ.

“Yet now he has reconciled (me) to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought (me) into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.” 1 Col. 1:22

When we remove shame, regret and self-hatred we can love far more easily. Without these self-focused love killers we find life as we realize Christ sees us not as we were, but as He is, with his image reflecting from us.  This is the power of love.

Christ’s death and sacrifice, when we accept it, actively works through me so I can actively love others.

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

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She dresses inappropriately. Seriously, you don’t wear those kind of clothes to church, nor do you move like that. 

Every time I saw her, she seemed to raise the annoyance meter in my chest. Worse than that, she was distracting. I couldn’t take my eyes off her odd display during worship.

No one should act in a way that pulls your attention off of God, especially at church. 

If I could have complained to a friend, I would have. She wasn’t honoring God. Plus, everywhere I went, she was pulling my eyes away from God with her inappropriate behavior. I explained to my husband that I didn’t like her.

And then it struck me: “Who’s the sinner here?”

She is worshipping; I am the one ready to gossip. She has eyes on God; I am the one distracted because I only see her. She is being herself; I am judging and whispering mean things about her to my husband after church.

I knew my heart was in the wrong place. I was acting like a Judas. One who said to the extravagant outpouring of Mary’s perfume on Jesus, “Why wasn’t this perfume sold? Why wasn’t the money given to poor people? It was worth a year’s pay.” (Jo. 12:5)

My heart sank. I knew, “I must get to the heart of her story, rather judge her outward appearance.”

So I did. And as I spent time with her, I uncovered her story. I learned of her hard-knock-life background, her years of tears, her hiding of her true self, and the shame that came with all her pain. Now, in Christ, she doesn’t hold back that she is a hundred percent free. She explained how she’s now an extravagant lover of Jesus’s heart.

Am I? Am I a lover or a scoffer?

Jesus replied to the naysayers of Mary’s generous outpouring. “Leave her alone, she has done a beautiful thing to me.” (Mk. 14:6)

I want to do a beautiful thing to Jesus. Don’t you? Perhaps it begins at the place of letting go of others, so we can let ourselves go in new, surrendered ways to Christ.*

*I recently read the book, Unseen, by Sara Hagerty. So much in the book resonated with my heart, but especially her story of judging a person for their love of Christ. She told of Mary and the extravagant outpouring. This similar story was largely inspired by her story and her beautiful words about Mary. I highly recommend Sara’s book. If you are in an unseen place or a place of searching out God, her words will bring life and light to your soul.

 

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I ignored my son’s complaints. Entirely. That is, until I joined him for lunch. It was at that point the three bullies attacked me. They came up and said, “Your son made a mess of himself at lunch yesterday.” The leader of the pack looked back at the other two with a grin on his face, while they all laughed and nearly pointed at us. A handful of minutes later, they approached and did it again.

Ouch! Pained, I realized that despite his complaints, I had not been a good defender of my son’s heart. Even more pained, I thought back to the million times when kids treated me the same way. I always hoped someone would come rescue me.

I wasn’t that person for my son, but God can be. God is always our rescuer.

Are you looking for a rescuer today?

This morning, I asked my little son for a number…just a simple random number to tend to his heart. I wanted to read to him out of the Psalms, with the hope that love would love him. What God delivered through the simple numbers 1 & 8 was soul recovering for that little boy’s small heart. I am pulling out bits and chunks and believing God will bless you the same today.

May God rescues your heart in unforeseen ways. May the Kings’ words of defense rise off the screen of your computer and take new life in your heart. And may you know you are more protected than any earthly person could ever keep you safe. 

This is for you:

I love you, Lord;
you are my strength.
 The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
and my place of safety.
 I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise,

and he saved me from my enemies. (Ps. 18:1-3)

But in my distress I cried out to the Lord;
yes, I prayed to my God for help.
He heard me from his sanctuary;

my cry to him reached his ears. (Ps. 18:6)

He reached down from heaven and rescued me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemies,
from those who hated me and were too strong for me.
They attacked me at a moment when I was in distress,
but the Lord supported me.
He led me to a place of safety;
he rescued me because he delights in me.
The Lord rewarded me for doing right;
he restored me because of my innocence.
For I have kept the ways of the Lord;
I have not turned from my God to follow evil.
I have followed all his regulations;
I have never abandoned his decrees.
I am blameless before God;
I have kept myself from sin.
The Lord rewarded me for doing right.

He has seen my innocence. (Ps. 18:16-24)

To the faithful you show yourself faithful;
to those with integrity you show integrity.
To the pure you show yourself pure,
but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.
You rescue the humble,
but you humiliate the proud.
You light a lamp for me.
The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness.
In your strength I can crush an army;

with my God I can scale any wall. (Ps. 18:25-29)

God arms me with strength,
and he makes my way perfect.
He makes me as surefooted as a deer,
enabling me to stand on mountain heights.
He trains my hands for battle;
he strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow.
You have given me your shield of victory.
Your right hand supports me;
your help has made me great.

You have made a wide path for my feet

to keep them from slipping. (Ps. 18:32-36)

You have armed me with strength for the battle; (Ps. 18:39)

The Lord lives! Praise to my Rock!
May the God of my salvation be exalted!
He is the God who pays back those who harm me;
he subdues the nations under me
and rescues me from my enemies.
You hold me safe beyond the reach of my enemies;

you save me from violent opponents. (Ps. 18:46-48)

My friends, God cares for us, even when the world lets us down.

 

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Lately, a lighter is flicking within me. A full-blown fire is brewing. I feel furious at some moments, then hate myself for these feelings the next. I keep getting inflamed, and frankly, I don’t know what to do about it.

Anger combusts in attempt to handle what we can’t control.

I can’t control a kid. I say, “Stay in your seat.”

He turns to his sister and says, “Nope, we’re not going to do that, are we sis?”

I aim to keep the car clean, but then he holds up a nut then drops it on the floor right in front of me. He won’t do what I want him to do, so I do the only thing that grabs attention: I get angry.

I snap, “You’re cleaning the whole car after school and your room.”

Gone is love, and present is the lonely feeling no one is for me. Gone is patience, and present is a pressing need to make him line up to my ways. Gone is a woman who connects with his heart, and present is the one who stomps on it.

Sometimes I hate myself. Grrr….I hate how I act. And this feeling is SO painful.

Do you feel it too? Do you hate how you do what you don’t mean to do? Do you hate how you get angry?

May I remind you and me? God is not angry at us for our anger.

God:

-“is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” Ps. 103:8
-is forgiving.
-is waiting and ready to help us change.
-is our answer when we feel out of control and don’t what to do.

With these truths, I am reminded I can:

1. Forgive the 7+ times I’m offended in a day.

2. Embrace 5 seconds of silence, while expecting God to show me my way.

3. Say sorry for my wrongs. I can admit the emotions that lay dormant under my anger.
(Example: I felt disregarded by my son when he dropped the nut on the ground)

4. Uncover the lie I am believing as it pertains to this unruly, anger-producing emotion.
(New truth as it pertains to my lie: Even if everyone else fails me, God will uphold me.)

5. Give thanks to God for the growth He is doing in me.

6. Pray for the people who hurt me and release them into His hands.

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All to the glory of God. All.

Wow. God amazes me. I can bring God nothing, but He still does everything for me. I can forget to do a very important thing and His work remains accomplished. I can walk away from Him for a moment, and yet, He waits. I can go build things on my own and next to me He still stands, longing for my return to prayer and the blessing of His hand. I can falter and get wildly disappointed, but His love still remains. I can see people as the enemy until He shows me He desires to heal me through their love. I can forget to do my quiet time with Him, but He still quietly protects, keeps and watches over me everywhere I go.

The God I serve is mighty, and the Christ who died is unparalleled. No blown-up life problem, stressed out moment, or hard-crushed feeling are too much for a conquering rescue from the King of Kings. He will come. He does come. He is coming.

Thank you Father! Here, to Him, I can open my heart up, more and more and more. I can give Him what I am afraid to give: my desire to perform, my inclination to prove myself, my need to be right, and my desire I to self-protect.

The LORD will keep you from all harm– he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. (Ps. 121:7-8)

In these words I can trust. If God says He keeps me from harm, He does. If He says He will watch over my life, again He does. If He keeps an eye on my coming and going forever more, He does. What He does, He does, even if I don’t…even if I don’t acknowledge Him, stay near to Him, perfectly pray to Him, see Him through my day, completely trust Him in every moment or pray incessantly.

If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is. (2 Tim. 2:3).

God amazingly is who He is even when I am horribly who I am. And who Jesus is covers who I am not. The righteousness Jesus won becomes mine. The forgiveness that Jesus extended belongs to me. The Spirit now left behind is in me. Even when I look wretched, I am still in the club. I don’t get kicked out and God doesn’t hang a “No Kelly’s allowed” sign on the door.

God is kind when we are not. God still sticks around after we leave.

He’s ridiculously faithful. And all this? All this propels wild, fantastic, give-up-my-life kind of love for Jesus. If He’d do all this for me? If He’d go to these lengths to love me? I can trust Him. I can let go. I can give my all. Why? Because I am safe. God will keep me forever in His care, no matter what. The fears that I’ll mess up, not do things perfectly, or forget all the lines to His great show – they go out the window, because Jesus continues to do everything right. Even if I trip up and do it all wrong. Relief.

Jesus is sweet relief.

 

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