POST BY: Maria Fulough

What is the difference between fear and pain anyway?

Often times they feel the same, and once the fear train leaves the station of our minds it surely feels like a painful tortuous journey.

Fear even affects us physically.  Our heart rates rise, we get less patient, more stressed, more reactionary.  All sounds like pain to me.  But sit with me a minute while I explain to why this makes me so angry at fear.

Recently I was sitting in an ER room.  Doubled over in pain and bleeding. Over and over I got the same question, “How many pregnancies have you had?”

I gulped.

I could hardly answer the question.

7.

7 pregnancies.

They nod, “Mm Hm, and how many children?”

I have 4 living children.

More gulps.

This my friends, this is pain.  This is life hit at you and one way or another you can do nothing about it.  Completely out of control are so many things and when they come sometimes there is nothing to do but cry, and hurt, and allow God’s mercies to provide.

Exactly!  You say, this is exactly why we fear!  We fear because we know times like this are coming and we dread it and we hate it and know nothing else to do but to fear it.

With all the tenderness, love, and compassion this heart of mine can muster I say No!  This, my friends, is exactly why we don’t fear.  Painless and joy free moments are too precious.  The seasons between the hurt must be coveted, enjoyed, savored, and stored up.  Fear fabricates our own pain and wastes away the happy moments that we have.

Fear takes and steals and lies until we look back and see that those days we were in were good days.  This makes me hate fear the most.

I wonder friend, where are you with fear?  I once lived in a way where I coddled my fears.  I held them tight, allowed them in, and never told them to leave.  I thought that fear was not optional.  Turns out it is, turns out fear is very optional.

Read with me John 14:27:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Did you catch what Jesus said?  That small little word “let” changes everything for us.  Jesus says clearly do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Jesus was about to go to the cross, the very next day the disciples would watch their Teacher be murdered.  Most of them would end up dying for their faith in Christ and becoming martyrs.  Sounds like to me they had much they could fear!

So then I have to come to the end of reason and ask myself the question: which do I really trust more the facts of the circumstances or the supernatural promise of peace from the lips of my Savior?

Arm in arm my friends we can make a stand against fear in our lives.  We can admit to ourselves the difference between fear and real pain and we can choose a life waged war against the self-fabricated pain of fear.

Friends, may you be encouraged, you have the power of the living God already in you and it wants to give you the strength and the courage to not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

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At the age of 35, Maria Furlough’s feeling insecure about what everyone else thinks is finally busted. All the worrying, the insecurity, inconfidence, fear, and the tiny lies that once consumed her – those things are gone. And it feels good.  Once upon a time she was a woman who sat fearful, crippled by insecurities and only tiptoeing into the call that God had upon her life. Then Gideon came, and God used that little baby to change her from the inside out.

She has been writing and teaching Bible studies for 14 years and currently writes on the blog True Worth at www.mytrueworth.org.

Buy her book, Breaking The Fear Cycle on Amazon.

Post By: Sarah Beth Marr

Recently I was feeling the weight of life. The pressure. The stress. The tangled thoughts inside. The busyness. The expectations. In an effort to disperse the weight off my chest and into God’s hands, I knew a walk always would brighten my heart. So tennis shoes on, hair in a messy bun, and doggie on his leash, we hit the pavement.

We stopped by a friend’s house to feed their pets while they were out of town. The beauty of their back porch seemed to beckon me. Even though time was pressing and I needed to get back to, well, life, I opened the gate and stepped onto the porch.

I sat in the garden chair and allowed the beauty of the porch to minister to my tired soul. And in that moment, I knew that God was right there with me, inviting me to slow my pace. Sitting there, I suddenly knew why my soul was so tired.

I was caught up in striving instead of abiding, performing instead of being, trying hard instead of staying right in step with Christ in me, allowing Him to do all the things…through me.

The whisper of the Spirit brought this verse to mind:

“He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.” Psalm 1:3

I craved that tree-like stability in my heart, and I knew that Christ was inviting me to allow Him to steady me.

Christ invites us to a slower pace and into His lighter rhythms of grace where we can find a rooted-ness to our life.

You don’t have to try harder. You can come honest before God and tell Him what’s going on in your heart, and then, you can trust Him to help you learn the dance of abiding in Him. Abiding in Him is not a formula of steps, but a posture of the heart. It’s staying in this present moment with God instead of striving and worrying about future moments. Abiding in Him is the most restful and sturdy place for our hearts.

As you abide in Him, He will steady you. He will make you strong and steady just like that tree. You will flourish, grow, blossom, and thrive as you trust His life inside you.

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“Don’t look down, Mom!”

Immediately, I wish my son hadn’t said that. I can’t help myself. My eyes drift to the expanse below and my feet wobble. What was I thinking when I agreed to do this?

I try to regain my composure and remember my harness. The 4-story high ropes course stretches out before me, and I know there is only one way out: through it.

If you fall, the harness will catch you.

I tell myself this repeatedly as I inch across a rickety bridge that seems a mile long. My son moves to the other side with ease, turning around at the end to cheer me forward.

“You’ve got this! Keep going!”

When I get close enough to the next platform, I take a giant step to the safety of a solid surface. I stop and breath deeply, thankful for a minute to relax my legs. As I survey the rest of the course, I take a mental note of how much further we have to go before we can make the trek back down to the bottom. My mouth is dry and I can hear my stomach starting to rumble.

When my husband suggested I embark on this adventure with my boys, my first instinct was to say no. First, I am not a fan of heights. And second, our one-year-old daughter was the perfect excuse for me to stay on the ground.

But then I felt a little nudge.

Say yes.

My parents were with us, and they were more than happy to watch their granddaughter. So I went. With harness tightened securely around me, I made my way to the top. And with my nine-year-old as my cheerleader, I kept going even when my balance was awkward and my footing unsure.

Even though I was afraid, I moved forward. Even though my stamina was tested, my resolved to finish was greater. And you know what? I will never forget those minutes spent amongst the trees with my family.

When my feet were firmly planted back on the ground, I realized God was teaching me a valuable lesson. Without my even realizing it, he painting a picture.

You see, lately God’s been asking me to be brave. He’s asking me to step out of my comfort zone and do things I wouldn’t normally do. Speak more. Lead more. Trust him more. And my first instinct, like it was with my husband, is to say no.

God, I’m not qualified.

God, you have the wrong person.

God, I have no experience in this area.

But he keeps gently nudging me forward, waiting for me to take the leap. Desiring obedience, even when I stubbornly keep my feet planted in one place.

After making a lot of excuses, I said yes to one step. And then another. With each one, he shows me his presence never leaves. Even when my feet falter, he’s there.

Having a forward-moving faith doesn’t mean we’ll never fall. It means we trust a God who never fails.

So when we slip, he’s the harness that catches us and keeps us from hitting the ground. When our balance sways, he’s the secure grip that steadies us and enables us keep going.

“It is God who arms me with strength
and keeps my way secure.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
He causes me to stand on the heights.”

2 Samuel 22:33-34

Friends, we serve a God who wants us to live life to the fullest. He wants our faith to move us to new heights so he can show us the depth and width of his love. A love that surpasses all understanding. A love that will change others’ hearts, minds, and lives. But we have to be willing. We have to get off the ground.

When we do, the view is spectacular. When we do, our image of God expands with each shaky step.

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Is that knotted feeling of annoyance building in your stomach? Are you avoiding a person because they keep doing that thing? Do you know what’s right, but are afraid to share what’s wrong?

I like avoidance. I can pretend all is good, until it isn’t. Until I get to the point where I’m about to explode. Here, at 500 degree temperatures, I find it’s nearly impossible to present, “Love is patient. Love is kind.”

Poor sight says, “Protect yourself.”

Good foresight says, “Address frustration.”

Godly insight says, “God, how?”

I used to just go up to people and unload. I lost friends. I also used to hide my annoyance in fear, until one day I’d stop returning the friend’s calls. Both strategies are losing strategies. You end up down a friend and/or walking around with a lead-heavy heart.

If you find you continually lose due to a strategy, the strategy must change. That’s what I discovered as it pertained to my approach. So when a friend recently offended me and I wanted to unload on her, wisdom spoke, “Talk to your husband about it first, give yourself some time to process it, and talk to God about it.”

The more I did, the more I realized: No two people are alike and neither are two situations. God has specific plans for each predicament, but what He always wants to prevail is love.

“And do everything with love.” 1 Cor. 16:4

How can love prevail in your relationship?

Often it is less about talking and more about praying. If we prayed far more about what we blabbed about, we might arrive at a wonderful outcome. This is what I’ve been pondering. And it’s much of what God called me to do with my friend. Rather than do nothing, I can pray continually. I have a feeling huge change is coming and it starts not with my feet approaching her, but with my knees planted down on the ground.

What might your approach be? Consider asking God about it.

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