I sat on the curb after practice, wondering, “Is mom ever going to come?” It was a particularly hard high school year. For one, my nose got hit with a field hockey stick. Even today, it sits a little crooked. And on this particular day, after all those sprints, shooting pains shot up my legs. I could hardly sit. Every position was agony. So with my teammates long gone, I moaned. Then, I replayed everything: the shots I didn’t make, the girls that were faster than me, and how I must have looked downright stupid.

Five minutes turned into twenty. Would she ever come?

Times of waiting are battles – the sense of “not knowing” compounds everything. Here, we tend to think, “If she isn’t there for me, God won’t be there either. I’m unworthy. I’ll be left behind. I brought on this problem. I’m stuck. Bound to fail. Surely, I’ll make a fool of myself again.”

I find it is here that old injuries, gut-wrenching feelings of abandonment, and age-old failures come back to attack. They often rob our faith.

Yet, I can’t help but wonder: If waiting times aren’t uncommon to Biblical men and women, why do I think they’ll be uncommon to me?

I mean, Sarah waited decades to have a baby. Blind people waited what probably felt like forever to be healed by Jesus. Mary waited while Jesus grew up. The other Mary waited for her brother Lazarus to get healed. Moses waited to get out of Egypt. Jesus waited decades to start His ministry, then about three years to die on the cross to defeat death.

Even in the worldly sense, waiting times have value. A delayed inheritance makes a son wise. A pregnant mother gives nine months time for the baby to grow. A toddler girl learns to swim before jumping in the deep end.

What if our times of waiting aren’t meant to torture us, but to grow us? And to prepare us for a greater land ahead?

“The land you are entering to take over is not like the land of Egypt, from which you have come, where you planted your seed and irrigated it by foot as in a vegetable garden… It is a land the Lord your God cares for; the eyes of the Lord your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to its end.” (Deuteronomy 11:10, 12, NIV)

The new land has new terrain. New obstacles. New preparation is needed for that place.

Consider, if you want to adventure through new terrain, you must prepare for it. If you’re traveling over rocky ground, you need the right wheels. Perhaps an SUV. If you are climbing a new mountain, you need to have a harness, and one you trust. Waiting gives us time to prepare to go to the places God has planned for us.

We can wait well. Here are few ways to do just that:

Remember the cross.

Encourage yourself by saying, “Jesus’ sacrifice fully covers me and now protects me from any assaulting words of the enemy. Even if I don’t do things perfectly, through the sacrifice of Christ, I am hidden in Christ.”

Reconsider who you are.

Think, “I am a daughter of the most-High King. He knows how to take care of me.”

Reestablish who God is.

Say, “God is on my side. He will pull through for me, help me and rescue me. I can trust Him.”

Remind yourself: Waiting ground is faith-proving ground.

Choose to delight in and dwell on the little blessings God gives day-to-day.

Prayer: Father, thank You that You are well acquainted with everything happening in my life. Help me to trust You in all ways. Increase my faith.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

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Check out Kelly’s new book, Battle Ready: Train your Mind to Conquer Challenges, Defeat Doubt and Live Victoriously.

I say this sometimes to my kid: “If mommy and daddy had all the kids of the world in front of us, and we had to choose one, we would search and search until we found you. We examine every kid face-to-face, looking far and wide FOR YOU. And, we’d keep going until you were safe in our arms. And, when we found you, we’d pick you and keep you forever as our own.”

My friend in Christ, Jesus did that very thing — for you.

He wants you.

He chose you “before the creation of the world…in love.” (Eph. 1:4) Though (Jesus) was rich (in Heaven), for your sake he became poor (by coming to this earthly world)…to make you rich (see: 2 Corinthians 8:9). He chose you, then He found you. Without an ounce of your proving, defending or trying, He died for you, while you were a sinner. (see: Ro. 5:8) A Savior came to save you.

Going right for your heart, Jesus searched you and called you in by dying for you on the cross. He wants you.

Consider: We don’t save someone we don’t want. We don’t go to the lengths of injury and pain to rescue someone we deem worthless. We don’t enter a slum-land, forgoing riches, unless we figure the mission is so critical, it’s worth the risk.

Apparently, you’re worth the risk to God. You, (insert your name here), are worth the conquest. You’re worth Jesus’ pain and suffering. You’re worth the shame He endured. You are chosen, wanted and saved. Delivered and loved.

Your worth is not because you proved yourself good, or holy or righteous, or perfect, or beautiful or all-together, or worthy, but it’s simply because Jesus is worthy. The same is true for us today.

Worthy is the lamb who was slain! He proved: Worthy is our calling in our life – if He chose to save it. Worthy, are those we love – if He calls us to do so. Worthy, is His plan, even if sometimes we can’t understand it or don’t believe in it.

Worthy Savior is our King. Saving is His business. He does the work. You don’t merit it by what you do, how holy you sound, or what you prove. All this? It is a point already proven by Jesus on the cross. To prove Jesus’ point is pride.

Power comes when we let Jesus save us, again and again. When the price He paid takes complete ownership of our life.

Friend, if you feel unseen in the midst of your family, if you feel unloved no matter how much you give, if you feel unworthy even though you try so hard, if you feel alone and rejected by man, if you feel hurt and left behind, if you feel neglected by your husband, if you feel you’ll never amount to anything, if you feel down and a little depressed, if you feel worn out from proving…might you consider this?

Jesus, can and will save you today. Savior is His name. There is no daughter, situation, person or issue too far gone for His saving work. Run into His arms; they’re open to you. He doesn’t need anything from you, except a willingness to receive, in order to give you everything.

You are safe in His arms.

Check out Kelly’s new book, Battle Ready: Train your Mind to Conquer Challenges, Defeat Doubt and Live Victoriously.

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The thing about leaks are – they start slow. I’ve had a roof leak before. Imperceptibly, a bit of water makes its way through your roof. At first, you have no idea it is happening. You see nothing. Until a water spot appears. Left unattended, that water spot becomes a drip. Unchecked still, it floods from ceiling to wood floor.

Disappointment starts as a leak until discouragement comes like a flood.

I thought along these same lines as I tried to detangle my daughter’s hair the other day. Because I hadn’t attended to her knots daily, now her hair was a woolen blanket, 1-inch thick of a knotted mess. Whoops. It was torture trying to figure out how to un-knot everything.

Where has disappointment left you with such a knotted mess, you’ve started to believe it’s impossible to untangle?

You know, I did untangle Madison’s hair. May I encourage you today? Jesus is the de-tangler to EVERY SINGLE problem we face.

If it is written, “For nothing is impossible with God…” (Lu. 1:37) then, nothing is impossible with God.

If it is written, “we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. . . (Ro. 8:37)” then, we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus.

Let us not look at the flood and miss the remedy. Or at the tangles and miss the detangler.

There is no power of hell, no scheme of man, no day of old and no mindset of fear that can’t be fixed by the fullness of Jesus’ saving power. I am sick and tired of dwelling in defeat. Are you?

Today is the day it must go. Why? Because Jesus paid a price so that we could ditch that kind of gunk. And, if He paid for it with blood and nails, embarrassment and injury, then I am not going to try to steal it back from him. It doesn’t belong to me.

Christ paid the price to free us from the curse that the laws in Moses’ Teachings bring by becoming cursed instead of us. Gal. 3:13

Today, I want to speak over us, people who are a royal priesthood and a holy nation (1 Pet. 2:9), a new word: God is for us! Whatever lie of old, device of defeat, or insult-of-yesterday that is speaking over that, must now talk to Jesus.  Because, by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, we will not submit again to a yoke of slavery (Gal. 5:1).

Let’s pray:

Father God, we will NOT stand for things that compete against you. We will not cower down, fear or walk away from you because things, people, disappointments or injuries try to tell us you are not good. We thank you that your goodness is as solid as gold.  Your faithfulness is as strong as ever and your plan, which is entirely beneficial to our souls, will prevail. We get near to you and ask you right now to remove disappointment, discouragement, and defeat from us, right now. We give these things to you and, in return, accept your healing, your peace, your fullness, and your guidance. We thank you for the new thing you are about to do in our life. We will not let insults or injuries steal the work you did for us on the cross. We are yours, entirely. Bitterness has no place in us. You are our protector. We don’t need to look to man to give us what we think we need because we have you. And, that’s enough. You’re enough. We praise you today for the gift that is your healing, heart, and help. In Jesus all-powerful, alive and active name, Amen.

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Give. That’s what I do when I meet with people. They ask to meet. I link up with them. And, usually, then they ask me: 1. How to write and get published 2. How they can stop feeling afraid, held captive or stuck  3. How to start writing … Or, they just unload and tell me their whole-life story.

Rarely, do people ask about – me. Which I am okay with. On good days, I say to myself: God, it’s not all about me; it’s all about you. And, God, with beauty, shows up through me, for them. I love seeing Him work.

But, on this particular day, I felt tired. After having a couple of long-winded meetings with people who unloaded everything without any reciprocal questions, I felt like taking a break. So, when a random woman asked me for coffee I did some things that were COMPLETELY un-Christian author-like: I delayed our get-together a couple of weeks. Then, when she contacted me – I entirely ignored her text. Both the first one. And the second one, days later.

Then, she called.

And, before you know it, I was sitting in front of her on the patio of a coffee shop. Instinctually and internally, I was prepared to help her with all her needs, wants and dreams. I leaned in and said, “Tell me about you. . . ”

But, as we carried our conversation on…

It was as if she didn’t want anything from me. Shocking.
It was as if she was there just because God wanted her to be. Again. Shocking.
It was as if she wanted to see what God was up to. Kelly, prepare to be shocked.
I let down my guard and then shared a message God put on my heart of late: one of resting with Him.

She looked at me and said something like, “That’s it! That’s why God put you and I together. He told me this morning that I was supposed to give this bracelet to you.”

She took it off and slid it on my wrist.

And continued on, “In morse code it says on this bracelet the words ‘Be Still’.”

And boom! Right then and there, God broke the ice I didn’t even realize was surrounding my heart.

In a breakthrough moment, arrow-like messages hit my soul, saying:

Be still, Kelly. What morse-code messages I plan to send you, you can’t receive if you’re assuming.
Be still, Kelly. I see what is on your heart; I care for you also.
Be still, Kelly. It is not your work, but mine.
Be still, Kelly. I have a friend you’ve been looking for in this woman.

I easily could have ignored this meeting. In fact, I was positioned to do just that. I thank God I didn’t let assumptions ultimately get in the way. I would have lost so many laughs, a future prayer-partner and being with a woman of wisdom.

God, pour out a grace on me and the readers of this page. I ask that we not judge or assume things about people. If we hold our finger, like a log, in front of only one of our opened eyes, Father, we cannot fully see. This is what its like when we assume. From a limited vantage point, we speak limiting words and limit our future. Help us not to do this. Help us not to miss all the hidden morse-code messages you want our hearts to receive. Let not, fear and judgment hold us back from you, God. Our past does not predict how you are presently moving. Give us eyes to see. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor? (James 4:11-12)

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When I sat down on my porch, I looked up. A little spider connected to his web was hanging down a little bit over me.

Why harm him? He’s just sitting there. He looks dead, anyway…

I continued on with God, reading, “It is through faith that a righteous person has life.” (Romans 1:17)

I thought about groups of people who desperately try to earn God’s favor: through works, through trying to be enough and through focusing on all they are not, rather than focusing on who Christ has made them to be.

Maybe they aren’t really, saved.

No sooner did I think this, than I felt an itch on my back. Something crawling up my neck. I flew out of my chair! Looked up! The spider was gone. Now, he was crawling up my neck.

God nudged me: “Kelly, be careful what and who you judge. That’s the enemy’s grounds.”

He’s right. The enemy is master accuser. Jesus is Master Advocate.

God, where else have I judged?

You judge when you think:

• Maybe these people are not believers if they think ____.
• At least I am better off than her. I don’t ____.
• This person has nothing to offer me.
• I can forgive this person because “what they went through” in their past.  (As if I am in charge of deeming whether they’re worthy enough for forgiveness)

• I can’t forgive because ___ hasn’t (changed, said sorry, shown remorse, given me a good enough reason).
• This person will not be blessed because of how they are acting.
• If only they would ____, then ____.

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Lu. 6:37)

I don’t have to know it all to know that God is the only one in charge. God is the only heart-reader. God is the only knower of intentions. God is the only discerner of motives. God is the master and I am a girl – solely given responsibility for one thing, herself (and loving others).

When I get overly-focused on other people and what they’re doing, I get myself tangled up into a web that’s nearly impossible to get out of.

God, help me not to judge what I know nothing about. And, help me not size up what only you have a handle on. Give me eyes to see where I need you, more than where others are falling short. Give me eyes to cast aside thoughts that keep me from understanding your grace, love and mercy. Help me to love others as you do. Help me to see the best in them, rather than their lack. Pour out grace on my judgment. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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My mom was visiting from another state. Because of this, I had the whole day planned out. We’d take bike rides (she loves biking), via the scenic route and then stop off at a waterside hotel. The day would be perfect, or so I thought…

Finally, the special day arrived. Mom and I sat down at the waterfront restaurant. Although we only had a limited amount of time to eat, because she was flying out soon, we thought we could make the restaurant work.

The waitress approached and, in summary, said, “It is an issue you all are here. We don’t open until later. I could see if they could get you some food, but you really have to tell me what it is you want. What sandwiches would you want?”

We told her the options we were interested in.

“What about something less difficult? A salad?”

We gave her a few more options.

She went on, “I really need to know what you want because it is going to take me about 10 minutes to walk up three flights of stairs to get an answer from the chefs on this. And they just finished up making breakfast. And they may need to know which things you want so we can figure out what you can have and what you can’t.”

With every unleashed detail of her backstory, the more I felt like a burden. I wish we weren’t here. Maybe we should just go. She seems frustrated. I don’t want to cause an issue.

Yet, as she continued on…I started to think of how I often am just like her. If I have a hard day, I tend to tell my husband the hundred and one things that led up to it. If I’m talking with a friend and want to share an issue, I also convey the nitty gritty annoyances that were included in it, even if it takes a while to convey.

Yet, I don’t believe grace talks like the waitress or I tend do. Grace doesn’t unleash every negative line, every belabored detail, every issue, every complaint, every trauma. Grace considers the ear of the listener. It is a blessing to the hearer, rather than a drain on them.

This doesn’t mean that the tough-stuff didn’t happen (the 3 flights of stairs, the 10-minute walk, the little hiccups during the day); it means love chooses to leave the person feeling built-up, rather than bummed-out after the talk.

How? You ask yourself 3 things before you talk:

1. Will it profit the listener if I speak this?

2. Would Jesus talk like this?

3. Do my words honor God?

I don’t point out the waitress to judge her, but to learn a little bit more of how I act myself. I’m learning: Words of grace often don’t include every painful detail. They get to the heart of the story in a way that still honors and uplifts the listener, at almost all costs.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” – Eph. 4:29

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If Jesus was to write a note to you, here is what I think He might say:

It was a hard fight, but well worth it. I have you now. To pay the price for you, was my honor. To go those lengths for you, was important to me. To not give up on you, is actually part of my DNA. I don’t give up on daughters. I don’t forsake those I love. I can’t.

And, I never will. This is why, I want you to know, dear daughter, that you can trust my promises. I did not make them to break them. I did not come to earth and say things to never follow through.

“God is not a man, that He should lie…” (Nu. 23:19)

My character is not disappointment, abandonment or rejection. If you’re living those things, can I tell you something? That is not of me. If it is not “of me” why are you carrying it?

You can give those things to me right now and banish them in you. Just as I absorbed every nail, I can absorb your every pain, trauma or feeling that has captured you for far too long. I’ll take it all for you. My body was broken, so that your’s might find healing.

“And by (my) stripes[c]  (you are) healed.” (Is. 53:5)

I carried what you were never meant to carry, so that you might live life abundantly.

“I have come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (Jo. 10:10)

Can you see? What I have for you?

I really am as good as you hope I am. You don’t have to be scared that I am not as good as you wish I am. Or, act pious so that you can finally feel like you’ve earned or warranted attention, accolades or affirmation. This is not the way of love. This is the way of conditional love. That is not of me.

I have unconditionally laid down my life so that you, as a child of God, could unconditionally rest in my gift of grace.  If you’ve never done that before, today is your day. Come and hear more about who I really am.

I wait for you…

Love,

Jesus

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