After having my baby girl, I  was so excited. I dressed her up in the cutest girlie outfit I had and was prepared — to show her off. Eager and happy, we pranced off to church, my new package in tow. I sat in the row smiling, and waiting for people to come and see her cute little face. That is, until no one came over. No one said anything to me. They didn’t walk over. They didn’t ooh and ahh. They didn’t even give much regard to me as I struggled to carry her little baby car seat out the door with her in it. I felt invisible. Unseen. Rejected.

If your heart feels strongly, like mine, even small hurts – hurt. They make you feel alone.

And if you’re alive, people-hurts are not isolated incidences.

Lately, an incident pricked my heart. It wanted to pull me back into frustration at them. Yet, all I could hear God whisper, was, “Kelly, look at me, not them.”

Look at me:

• protecting you.
• guiding you.
• teaching you.
• showing you.
• preparing you.
• readying you.
• leading you new places.
• taking care of you.

Don’t look at them and how you perceive they are:

• rejecting you
• denying you
• abandoning you
• hurting you

We should all do the same. Look at Him and not “them” (the offenders, the issue, the mean ones, the oppressors, the retaliators, the cause of our pain, the abusers).

Because, when we decide people are:

• blocking us
• (eternally) causing harm to us
• doing things unto us
• leaving us behind, hurting us, not wanting us, or
• punishing us. . .

. . . we lose. We lose control over our emotions. We lose attention on God. We lose mindshare that could’ve been directed to prayer, praise, and a greater purpose. We misplace devotion.

This is always our loss, not theirs.

Beyond this, we never know if:

• they even realize what they were doing.
• we misunderstood what happened.
• there were 500 other things at play that we never considered
• God wanted us to learn more than He wanted us to immediately get our way.
• God is setting something up – greater than we expect or realize.
• God wants us to get a view into a part of our heart, we’d otherwise be blind to.

People do not make us, shape us or grow us, Christ does.

He rules. He is always in charge.

With this, we can forgive “them” and look back to Him.

We can ask:

1. God what are you doing?
2. What are you teaching me?
3. Why did this happen and what do you want me to know?

We can learn, grow, understand, forgive, hope again, and be filled with fresh faith. This is our way, always. Don’t give up.

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. (2 Cor. 4:17-18)

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I know you all know me as the girl who wrote the book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears. With this, almost undoubtedly, I should have this ‘fear-thing’ wrapped-up and conquered by now, right? I should be the one who’s figured out “fear” and who comes to you with remedies and bullet points galore. A whole arsenal of things to make you radically and instantly courageous.

Truth is: I do have the ability to come to you with some of those things, but I am also still very much a work-in-progress.

Aren’t we all?

Friends, growth is a process. Sometimes it is slow — and, on the amazing occasion, it is radically fast. Either way, just because you see you still need to grow — or because you need God’s grace, doesn’t mean you are failing.

The breakthrough of yesterday is often proceeded by God removing another layer.  Or bringing you to a deeper level, in Him. It may happen days, months, or years later. This “situation” doesn’t mean you are doing a “bad job”. It just means God is at work.

You are growing, grace upon grace.

“For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.” (Jo. 1:16)

Lately, I’ve had some freak-out moments, like:

• What if I don’t do what God wants me to do in life and I somehow “miss it”?
• What if God doesn’t keep me safe?
• What I am not good enough for you, God?

Grace comes to questions or doubts like these without condemnation, but with truth:

“But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.” (2 Thess. 3:3)

“For it is God who works in you to will and to act on behalf of His good pleasure.” (Phil. 2:13)

“My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.” (Jo. 10:29)

Grace always speaks a better word. There is no shame in the process of growing — or in hearing, understanding, and in doing something new. These all point to increased faith. These are all part of the story of an activated, heartfelt believer.

God does the good work; we show up and submit to it. God saves; we look up and trust. God has the best plan; we come into alignment with it. We are in-process, but we are in good hands. These hands form and fashion like Jesus, more and more.

“So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.” (2 Cor. 3:18)

Be encouraged.

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Have you ever been shocked when reading God’s Word?

Boy, was I when I read what Paul wrote to Timothy. . .

“Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked. Hymenaeus and Alexander are two examples. I threw them out and handed them over to Satan so they might learn not to blaspheme God.”
(1 Tim. 1:18-19)

What has your conscience been trying to tell you? What is God calling out for you to pay attention to?

For the longest time, when my husband saw an opportunity for improvement in my life, and he would tell me about it, I would react defensively.

For example, he’d say, “You can take care of yourself, Kelly and not always say ‘yes’ to the kids.” I’d answer, “I do take care of myself! Don’t say that!”

My heart was hardened. And, it became a habit. The more he shared, the more I resented it — and Him. I began to tune him out.

Likewise, the reality is — the harder our hearts become, the harder it is to: hear God, to understand Him, to go where He is directing us, or to get answers to our “what should we do?” questions. . .

I love how my NLT bible commentary puts it, writing, “Treasure your faith in Christ more than anything else and do what you know is right. Every time you deliberately ignore your conscience you are hardening your heart. Over a period of time, your capacity to tell right from wrong will diminish.”

When we diminish our conscience, we diminish our ability to hear and understand God’s direction and leading.

The capacity to let go of what is wrong is vital so that God can lead us to what is right. Just think, what parent can bring their kid to a playground of joy, when they are clinging to their bedpost saying, “No. I am fine where I am. I don’t want what you have for me.”?

Today, what would it look like for you to lay down your defenses, strategies, excuses, burdens, excuses, rationalizations and fears? What would it look like for you to see the hard to see spots, the ‘it-feels-like-too-much’ realities or the ‘things-need-to-change’ opportunities to find new life? To really consider the words someone has been trying to get you to hear?

It may feel awkward to let go of your flesh, but it’s here where you get powerfully led by His Spirit.

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Two nights ago I awoke in the middle of the night with “concerns”.

I got up at 12:05 and sat on the couch in my living room for 2 hours.

There I:

• worried about my son and something he said.
• became concerned about a get together with a critical friend.
• felt guilty about doing something I knew I should not have done.

My first instinct when dealing with all this was to develop my own attack plan.

First step: In the morning, I’d tell my husband how to “talk” to my son. I’d also suggest he take him out for a “boy trip”.

Second: I’d think more about the friend and whether to avoid her, confront her, or ignore her.

Third step: I’d just sit there and think more about how to not allow these things to happen. . . (while fearing that they might.)

What are you fretting these days? What wakes you up at night? What is breaking your heart? Calling you to manage it? Convincing you — you will always be a mess-up?

While all the other steps led me to anxiety, worry and more sleepless minutes on the clock, finally I made the right step. I cracked open my bible to Psalm 27.

It jumped of the page:

The Lord is my light and my salvation—
so why should I be afraid?

(God saves. God brings light to situations. God is Rescuer. He will come and make the wrong things right. He is mightier. He is stronger. What am I afraid of?!)

The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
so why should I tremble?

(He puts me in His fortress. No arrow can hit me. As I trust Him, I am safe. Enemies can’t reach me when I am hidden in Christ. I am eternally loved.)

When evil people come to devour me,
when my enemies and foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.

(Jesus is Ruler. People are people. He is my defender, keeper and the watcher of my soul. I am safe, in Him. With the armor of faith on, his promises become my shield)

Though a mighty army surrounds me,
my heart will not be afraid.
Even if I am attacked,
I will remain confident. (Psalm 27:1-3 NLT)

(What can touch me when Jesus is for me? Who can come against me, when He is with me? What can take me down when I am confident in His ways and not mine.)

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I have something to admit. . .

Whenever I get an email in reply to one of my blog posts, I brace myself. Before I even open it, a sense of dread settles over me. I anticipate words that will make my heart hurt.

Oh no, I must have said something wrong.
I wasn’t helpful.
I got cited the wrong verse.
They found an issue with my perspective.

It is a completely unwarranted expectation. The number of people that write words of thanks, encouragement, and life — far, far, far, outweigh other comments. Yet, still. . .

The other day, I opened an email.

It said,

“Thanks for the emails you send. Today’s post felt like it was out there just for me. . .”

I stopped in my track. She said it was “out there”. They must have thought I pulled something out of left field. I wonder why it was “out there” to her and how I skewed things so much.

Then, I re-read it. And, as I did, I caught the true meaning of what she meant. She meant it was — out there in her email inbox — just for her.

God hit me. How often do I anticipate the worst and then find it because it’s what I feel I deserve?

How often do I see the negative in my children, because I don’t feel like “that great of a mom”? Or, how often do I hear an underlying message behind someone’s words, when they’re not even saying that?

We find what we are looking for.

I don’t want to find what is dark, demoralizing and negative. I want to find God’s goodness and light.

I want to have this attitude: “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.” (Ps. 27:13)

I want to look for God and find Him.
I want to expectantly wait for Him and see Him.
I want to think of Him and rejoice in the blessings of His goodness.

“Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!” (Is. 30:18)

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Has the enemy stolen something that belongs to you?

Perhaps, you hoped for something, to go somewhere, or to be with someone. Perhaps, you expected to be further along? Or, that you would have met Mr. Right. Maybe you were close. Nearly there. Right about to do well. . . and then. . .

Bam!

. . . your fruit, hope, money, dreams, health, opportunity got — lost, taken, obliterated.

Or, maybe you thought God had great plans for you (you may have even had sight of them), but over time, after days, or years, they became nebulous (clouded) and out of sight. That is enemy theft too, you know.

Gradual theft doesn’t mean it’s any less a hold-up.

I am furious at the enemy. Thanks to God, I am seeing the enemy’s plans, playing out all around me in the lives of those I love, for what they are: Schemes meant to bring discouragement. To thwart us from seeing God’s goodness. To keep us stuck in the muck of “what could have been”.

No. Not on my watch.

It is written in scripture, “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away.” (Job 1:21). This is true. But, He never does so to ruin us, to cripple us or to steal from us.

God is love. Love repairs wrongs. It makes wrong things right. Delivers us from evil. Restores what is lost.

Take hope today.

Job was tormented, in pain, dealing with “wearisome nights” and “futility” (Job. 7:3), for months.  Then, he got to a moment of restoration.

He said to God, “I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you.” (Job 42:2)

Look at the result: the Lord restored His fortune, He gave Him twice as much as before, people he loved gathered around him for a feast, he got the consolation and comfort he likely needed, people brought him gifts of money and a gold ring, God blessed Job in the second half of His life more than the first half, he had seven more sons and three more daughters, he lived to 140 years, seeing the fourth generation of his children. (See: Job 42:10-15) What joy!

“He died and old man who had lived a long, good life.” (Job. 42:17)

There’s nothing that was taken, that God can’t restore.

Tell God: I know you can do anything, God.  I know you can restore everything. I ask you to do so. No one can stop you. You are in control. I am not powerless, Father. My daddy is power-full. He loves me. You will restore me. I trust you. Circumstances don’t rule me, you do. Amen.

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