Do you know what it is to appear happy on the outside, but to feel crushed on the inside?

For a couple of months, there’s been a deep, deep longing in me. A quiet call to God. A sometimes-scream to God. A desire that I want to be met. A dream I deeply want to happen. Yet, despite my all-out prayers, it felt like God slammed a door in my face say, “No! No! No!” Time passed, and — nothing. Nothing happened. Nothing gave-way. Nada. No way. No how. Dead air.

Many of us have been praying. Some of you have been praying for years for that one thing. Some of you have shed tears and sweat over that person. Some of you have tried to push forward with it anyway. Some of you live in defeat. Doubt. Despair. Rejection because you’re the only one who this is happening to. You now feel alone. Self-reproach creeps up on you.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick…” (Prov. 13:12)

During church the other day, God opened my eyes to something profound. It shifted my heart: Never would I withhold something from my kid with the intention of hurting them. That’s not what good parents do. The only time I withhold something from a kid is to give them something better in the end. I don’t give them sweets all the time, because I want them to have good health. I say they can’t watch TV, because I desire they do homework so they can have opportunities in life. I don’t allow them to get together with that one friend, because I know that friend would lead them down the wrong road. My end-goal is always — their benefit, joy, growth, life, increase, learning…

If I’m a good mom in that regard, how much more does God say no — for our benefit?

It’s as if He says: No, not this person. I have someone better for you. No, not right now. I am going to blow your mind 1 year later because everything will come together in a way you couldn’t have imagined. No, I am still developing the gifting so you can carry out the blessing.

God’s “No!” in the right now is not our defeat but our coming-blessing.

What do we do in the meantime?

We:

ONE.
Pray differently. If the prayer you’ve prayed on repeat is hitting a brick wall, try pivoting 2-steps and praying from a different angle. Example: If you’ve been asking for the other person to change, try asking for you to see them through different eyes.

TWO.
Take some new steps. Rather than trying to knock over this brick wall, try to walk around it. Ask God for different ways he may want you to move. Ask him to show you the actions He wants you to take in the here and now.

THREE.
Learn. Ask God what you need to grasp from this time period. Delays are divine set-ups to learn. If you ask Him, if you seek Him, if you keep knocking — the door will be opened unto you. Do not despise wisdom that can lead you to the back-door that can ultimately take you to a better place than where you were demanding you go.

Do the same thing — get the same result.
Try a new thing — watch God do something new.

“…but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. (Prov. 13:12)

I want to pray that your every longing is fulfilled because I intimately know how hard it is to wait, to wonder, to hope, to wish, to desire and to deeply long to see something change. I feel your pain, the sadness, the isolation. . .

Prayer: God, waiting is tough. It’s rough. It feels horrible sometimes. I am asking from the bottom of my heart, for every reader, that you bust through the roadblocks, issues, and hardships they face. I am asking that you bring swift-rescue. My hope and desire is that you honor all the new steps toward you (which I truly believe you will) and that wonderful stories pile up — of your faithfulness, your glory and your breakthrough-power from this very blog post. I ask for extraordinary moves by you. You are every answer we need. You are all the direction we crave. You are the love we need to give and to receive to conquer all. Come and do what you do in every single house, for every reader, within every family, for every daughter through this post. I ask you to powerfully move in every situation. I ask you to break down walls, both in us and around us. I ask you to come like the wind and to do a new thing in our life. I ask for abundant trees of life to grow and for longings to be fulfilled.  In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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“For the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart.” (1 Sam. 13:14 NLT)

David is named a man after God’s own heart. Can you even imagine?  I want to be a woman after God’s own heart, which is why I love investigating the Psalms. Here, I can see how David thought, spoke, and moved forward.

Psalm 71 was written by David or Asaph, who transcribed David’s words. Within this Psalm, we see a clear strategy to victory that is common in many of David’s Psalms. . .

One: David knows it is not sinful to declare God’s power to save; it is biblical. He declares, proclaims and reminds himself of God’s might, power and provision to save often.

David writes, God “will restore my life again.” (Ps. 71:20)

God “will again bring me up from the depths of the earth.” (Ps. 71:20)
God “will increase my honor.” (Ps. 71:21)
God “will comfort me again.” (Ps. 71:21)

Proclaim truth, until you start to own it. Until you start to believe God can rescue — even you!

Two: While David waits for God to move, He also moves towards God.

“My mouth is filled with your praise.” (Ps. 71:8)
“(I am) declaring your splendor all day long.” (Ps. 71:8)
“I will tell everyone about your righteousness. All day long I will proclaim your saving power,” (Ps. 71:15)
“Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me.” (Ps. 71:18)

We keep declaring, speaking, thinking upon, proclaiming, telling others about God — until the predicament, person, or problem changes course under His mighty hand. We don’t do it because we have to have some sort of outcome, but simply because we love Him and trust Him. Here, we see results. We get new eyes to see. We come to find, maybe it was less about Him changing ‘them’ and more about Him ‘changing us’.

Either way, we hope in His help and trust it is coming.  We move our mouth in praise, for the good thing He is doing is at work in us and around us.

“But I will keep on hoping for your help;
I will praise you more and more.” (Ps. 71:14)

God’s help is coming; keep on praising.

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Have you ever had a fever so bad even the coldest levels A/C can’t seem to taper? That was me, on this particular morning.

In the car, I was burning a hole through the seat. I was SO hot. Burning hot.

My husband turned the air. I turned it back on. He turned it off. I turned it on. I couldn’t cool.

We speeding down the highway. Why? Because we were headed to church. Have I told you all before, I don’t like to miss church? Come Sunday, I’ll be there. Come thinking of worshipping God, I can’t miss it. Come time to check the kids in, so I can have “my time” with my King, ain’t no one messing with that!

“Should we really go?” My husband said as we headed down the highway.

“Of course we should,” I answered.

But, should we? I don’t want to get anyone else sick. And, the kids are sniffling in the back.

When religious stuff turns into duty, more than a blessing, there’s wisdom in questioning it.

Jesus didn’t die so we ‘have to’ prove our self to Him. He already proved everything on the cross. With this, we are wise to question our motives.

If keeping your quiet time with Jesus is stressful because “you have to do it” or because “you haven’t done it in weeks” — you are wise to question it. If you are bringing dinner over to that woman’s house because you know everyone else is doing it and because you feel it is the “good-Christian thing to do” — you are wise to question it. If you are saying yes to everyone because you feel bad if you say no — you are wise to question it.

God doesn’t desire manufactured, look-good-on-the-surface religion as much as he desires our heart.

“So practice and obey whatever they (religious leaders) tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden.

“Everything they do is for show. On their arms they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear robes with extra long tassels. (Mt. 23:3-5)

Where do you feel obligated to ‘put on a show’ for God or man?

If you can’t do it with an authentic heart for Jesus, don’t bother doing it (I say this directly to my heart right now too). And, if you feel you ‘have to’ do it a certain way, try it a new way today. Rather than demanding you spend an hour with Jesus, just meet Him in the little places (as you drive, doing dishes, folding laundry, etc.). If you normally take pride in bringing that woman dinner, because everyone else is — just give her a ring to talk. Do it differently. Shake things up. Go the opposite way of obligation, duty, and appearances.

I told my husband to re-route our course. Instead of going to church, we spent time together as a family and talked about Jesus. I actually felt we had some tremendously important conversations for our family. It wouldn’t have happened if we didn’t change our pattern a bit if we weren’t flexible.

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I was the first one up in the morning — and that’s probably the exact reason why it happened like this. . .

While every other light in the place was off, I was outside in the dark navigating my way to a door.  After spending some time in the morning air with just me and God, I needed coffee.  I desperately needed coffee. Black.

Yet, as I walked down the long dark path, I hit something. Ick! Nasty! Grr!  I hit straight into a spider web. All tangled up, I felt shocked. There are hundreds of people who walk this path a day, and yet, I hit the web?!

The first person to walk a new path usually hits the web. 

As quickly as this thought came to mind, it encouraged me. I am the first morning walker. I am walking a new path — both literally and figuratively in my life. More awakened within me.

So often, I think I hit hardship because: 1. I’ve done bad 2. God is trying to teach me a lesson 3. I am off track.

But, what if the snag, the attack, and the icky stuff — isn’t because we’re off-track but because we’re right on track? And because we’re adventuring somewhere new with God?

I was headed just the right direction to that coffee pot. The only thing was: I was traveling an area where people hadn’t recently traveled before.

For some of you, you’re traveling a new path. You are choosing to respond to your husband in a new way. You are aiming to not gossip at work. You are making time to sit down with God. You are making strides in your prayer time. You are understanding things about God like you never have before. I want you to understand — the attack you are experiencing (the distraction, the people coming against, the discouragement, the little snags), are likely not because you are doing things wrong, but mostly because you are doing things right.

Do not be discouraged. Instead, be encouraged. You are on the right track.  Keep going.

You are hitting a web because you are heading the right way. The web is there because you are heading down a much-untravelled path. This terrifies the enemy.

The thought of your progress — terrifies the enemy.
The thought of you loving God more — terrifies the enemy.
The thought of you understanding how much God loves you — terrifies the enemy.
The thought of you breaking through with power — terrifies the enemy.

At this point, be less concerned with what the enemy is doing and be much assured about what God is doing — in and through you. It is good. God has this. He will carry you through. A web may annoy for a moment but quickly cast it off. Dust yourself off, carry on.

You’re right on track!

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Some of you may feel God has you in a time-out.

While everyone is running ahead, there you sit.
While people know where they’re going, you’re twiddling your thumbs.
While they’re getting together, you’re by yourself.

Lately, I can’t describe it, but God seems to be time-outting me. I hear about things happening that I am not included in. I dream of having certain doors open; they haven’t. I pray and doors get shut, not opened. Here I sit — with God.  Old stuff has lost flavor.

What’s your plan for me, God?

Sitting with God is not a bad place to be, but at times it feels lonely. You can feel deserted, even though you know you’re not. Even though you know you’re in a ‘set-apart’ season with God. This doesn’t mean there isn’t struggle.

Do you feel by yourself? Lonely? Uncertain of where you are going? Undoubtedly, in a time-out season?

Where old things no longer taste as good? Are you completely unsure of what is happening?

At times in our lives, God develops in us, new taste. Why? To prepare us for a new thing. This is not bad. Sometimes, you have to step back from the old to receive the new. How can you enter a new place, when you won’t leave the old?

To prepare us, we get placed next to God for a time, in what looks like a desert. All we get thirsty for there — is Him. This is preparation-day, not a doomsday.

Apart from man never means apart from God.  It means getting an elevated taste of God’s greater thing so all you want is that.

Then, what you had, even if it was ‘okay’ has no flavor. It is about coming into — His new.

With this, ‘set apart’ is not bad.

Moses entered into wilderness slavery.
Jesus was set-apart in the wilderness for 40 days.
Paul was blind for 3 days.

All this preceded their breakthrough and breakout. God cares less about the external happenings and more about internal remolding. New tastes. For it is here we learn to maintain and sustain His greater glory. To seek first the Kingdom of God. . .

Don’t lose hope. God knows what He is doing. He has a plan. It doesn’t have to always ‘feel good’ to ‘be right’.  It doesn’t always have to look ‘showy’ to be blessed. It doesn’t have to be known to be miraculous.

So, be encouraged, my friend, you’re not outside of God’s plan, if you’re set apart, your smack-dab in the center of it and He knows what He is doing. Gain faith in this place. He IS doing it!

He is a voice shouting in the wilderness, ‘Prepare the way for the LORD’s coming! Clear the road for him!’” (Mark 1:3)

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