Blog - Purposeful Faith

When Love is Blocked

July 20, 2014

Have you ever tried to reach out to someone but failed? Have you ever tried to help someone, but felt unappreciated? Have you ever tried to do something for God, but it didn’t work?

If so, I totally understand. Many years ago, God brought a young lady into my life, at what seemed the perfect time. During her regular visits to help with my son, I could clearly see she struggled with various life issues. I could clearly see her pain. I could clearly see she had major insecurities. And I could clearly see that I was the one to help her with this. I thought, “God has a plan for me to work on this one”.

Boy was I dead wrong.

I tried and I tried – and I tried some more – to pull her out of her shell. I tried to pour out words of encouragement. I tried to smile all the time. I tried to help her whenever she needed it. I tried to be flexible with work hours. I tried to tell her about God’s love. I tried to be super careful with feedback. I tried to take an interest in her life. I tried to ask her one hundred questions. I tried to offer food. I tried to offer help. I tried to make jokes.

What didn’t I try? I tried it all.

What did I get back? Nothing. Silence. In fact, what I got back seemed to be irritation and annoyance.

I felt so discouraged. I felt devalued. I felt frustrated. I felt angry, both at her and at God. Didn’t God see how much I was doing? Didn’t God know how bad she needed help? Didn’t she see how hard I was trying to be there for her?

This mission was a big FAIL. It failed because I totally missed the point. I am embarrassed to say that I was pursuing another’s heart with completely the wrong motive. It wanted to fix her. This motive left a mess in its wake.

When I felt my love was blocked, I tried a little harder. I gave a little more. I pushed it on her because I didn’t want to be rejected. I was seeking value based on her response. My heart may have been looking to love her at first, but after a couple of rejections set in, I was looking for even more love, admiration and appreciation. This was about “My Mission” not “God’s Mission” and therein lies the problem. The result? I felt rejected and she felt smothered. Not only was she trying to do her job, but she was also trying to satisfy me. We were both frustrated.

When we look to others to fill us and to approve us, we miss God’s plan. We miss his work and his miracle. When we work by our might it turns into a fight. When we work by his might, it is a delight.

So what are we to do?

We are to pray, to listen and to obey – in his timing. We are to trust him. We are to do what he calls us to do, not what we feel we need to do in order to garner a “feel good” response. We are to do our part, independent of other’s reactions. Then, the Lord will approve us as we move forward in his calling. Our love is not reliant on others. It is reliant on God’s love for us. This means, we don’t need to over work or over try. He will give us just the right direction. Our works are for him – and by him.

When we listen, hear and love as he loves, not as we love, we are in his will. He blesses this reliance with our hearts great desire – acceptance, love and purpose.

Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:6)

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)

Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD! (Psalm 27:14)

When we wait, God makes our love great.

Wanting More: Do you Have Big Eyes?

July 15, 2014

purposefulfaith

Contentment

Add comment

My daughter Maddie, who is turning 1 tomorrow (Happy Birthday Maddie!), loves to eat. It is amazing; she can out-eat my 3 year old. It doesn’t matter what I put in front of her she will devour it. Many times, I can hardly keep up with her. She is an eating machine; I can’t cut fast enough.

Strawberries are just one of her favorites. When strawberries make their way to our table, her little eyes light up. Just a few days ago, I sat her down and she spotted them. Eagerly, she made little yelping sounds to get my attention. So, I cut a little piece off of one and brought it to the table. I held it in just the perfect position, so she could enjoy the little bite that I had prepared. The only thing was she wasn’t looking at the piece right next to her mouth; she was looking at my other hand, right down by my side – the hand that held the big piece of strawberry. She was so focused on the big one, she didn’t even see what I had prepared for her. It was even difficult for me to grab her attention; she was so focused. She wanted more.

Little Maddie was so consumed with what she thought she needed, that she missed the joy of what was already prepared and waiting for her. So often, we are just like little Maddie. Whether we like strawberries or not, we miss what the Lord has right in front of us, because we think we need something bigger. We want bigger purpose. We want bigger relationships. We want bigger ministry. We want bigger security. We want more.

The Lord has a strawberry right next to our mouth, ready for our enjoyment, but we look past it, wanting more. We lack contentment and joy. We think we are in an empty dry land, but we really don’t see the gift he has sitting right before us.

Let’s learn a lesson from Maddie and see what the Lord has before us. Let’s not let our eyes get bigger than our stomachs. The Lord knows what we need. He has big things in store for us when we trust him, his timing and his ways (Jeremiah 29:11). Do you trust him?

“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)