I remember when I sat at a coffee table with a new friend.
As I sipped a warm latte, I wanted to encourage her, like I do with most people, yet I couldn’t…
There was a huge block: I felt jealous of the opportunities she was getting. These were opportunities that I was not getting.
Facing my sin, I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t stop thinking bad thoughts. So, I did the only thing I could think of…
I mustered up courage and said directly to her face, “Can I tell you something? I feel jealous of you…all the open doors you are getting are things that I’ve been wanting for a long time. I don’t want to hate you this way. Will you forgive me for this jealousy? God, will you forgive me too. I am so sorry.”
She sat there for a second, just staring at me.
“Wow, Kelly, thank you for saying this.” She said.
Following this moment, we talked together about the areas where I felt sad. We acknowledged the pain I was feeling. We talked about my story. Then, we moved on to how God was working, even in my difficulties. She encouraged me. Quickly, my feelings of jealousy dissipated.
I was able to celebrate her agin. I loved her even more, in that moment. She loved me too.
Before leaving our coffee date, her parting words were, “Kelly, thank you for opening up about your jealousy towards me. You really taught me that I can be vulnerable and open about my struggle and jealousy. Thank you for this.”
Wow. My struggle gave her permission to share her struggle. The amount of connection that I felt with God, and this friend, were on super-high levels now. I was amazed.
Soon after that she, once again, got an opportunity that I wanted. Yet, as I watched her seize it, I no longer wanted what she had. Instead, I celebrated what she had. Interestingly, she used a little piece of wisdom I’d previously given her to add to this project — and she acknowledged me. God made me part of this project too. It was a head-nod from God. He knew.
With this, friends, I cheer you on and say — don’t be afraid to confess your sins to one another. What we reveal to God, and others, gets healed. To receive forgiveness is to restore heart-connection. Even more, healing is not only for us, but often for them too!
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (Ja. 5:16)
Who do you need to confess to? How is God calling to restore connection with Him and others?
Please know, I understand that people may not always respond as beautifully as my sister-in-Christ did. I get this. At the same time, we do not serve man; we serve God. In this, no matter what they say, do or think — you can be sure of one thing: God will be faithful to heal you. God is Healer, no matter how the other person responds. He is forgiver, even if the other person doesn’t take it well. He lifts up, even if the others still put you down.
God is the rewarder, no matter how others act. As we honor Him, He honors us. (see 1 Sam. 2:30)
Be encouraged. Ask for confession. Offer forgiveness. Restore connection.
A Prayer Request from Kelly: On the launch day of my book, “Rest Now: 7 Ways to Say No, Set Boundaries and Seize Joy” a toddler spilled water on my computer. My computer does not work anymore. I am now writing these posts on my phone, which cumbersome and difficult. Can you all pray for my computer to miraculously work again or something like that?! I love you all SO much!
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Kelly, what a great testimony. I would add one qualifier, though. We should always pray about confessing things that have not become sin outwardly. While they are still only in our thoughts, they are still grievious sins against God but if they haven’t worked themselves out in sin with the other person, we need to ask God if sharing would be the loving thing to do where the other person in concerned. We may just need to confess them to God and, possibly, to someone else who can help hold us accountable.
What a wonderful story. How great it is to have friends that we can be open and vulnerable with. I have had a similar experience with the jealousy monster and the Lord allowed me to open up to her and ask for forgiveness. It was such a growing opportunity.