She said (with all the wisdom that 5-years brings a girl): “Mom, how come other moms have bodies that go straight-down? And, you’ve got a body that goes out on the sides? Your back side is big too.”
I said: “Hmm…Madison, that’s true. Some moms do have bodies that go straight down.”
She said: “Mommy, you’re fat.”
I said: “Oh really?”
I fretted: Maybe I really am – fat?
Yes. My sides are bigger. My hips are larger. My silhouette is more pear-shaped than stick-shaped. She’s right about that. In this moment, I almost wanted to rush to the mirror to check myself out. Maybe I’d become disillusioned about own figure? Perhaps I was a whole lot bigger than I’d realized. I do see myself every day. Those kinds of things can inch-up on a woman.
She said: “Mommy, what made you fat?”
How does one answer this…?
I made me – fat?
God made me – look fat?
I am not – fat?
Here, I thought back to how she didn’t want me to hug her in class the other day. She pushed me away. Was it because — I’m fat? Maybe I need to go on a workout plan. Maybe I need to stop those afternoon ice-cream digs for peanut butter cups. Maybe I need to walk some more…
And then reality hit me, much like her words: God could care less about fat. Indeed, He wants me to love His temple, but, where man looks at our outsides; God looks at our heart.
“For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Sam. 16:7)
“Madison,” I said. “God made us all shapes and sizes. He loves all of us the same. It is not how we look that makes us lovable, better or more valuable, but Christ inside of us that makes us special.”
Who knows if I got through to her. It’s a scary thing to send a girl out in this raging pressure-filled world. But, perhaps, I can get through to you and me today…
Here are my thoughts about this:
- We’re not a product of our pants-size, but the product of God’s love dwelling inside.
- We’re not conformed to the image of this world, but we’re being transformed into the beautiful likeness of Christ.
- Grace abounds. If we need help, He who IS help has more than enough help to help us.
- Internal or external insults can’t stick to us when we’re covered by the full acceptance, love, and approval of Jesus.
- Jesus is not in the business of weighing us, He’s in the business of pouring out the full weight of His love on us.
In God’s love, even if there’s an extra 5 or 50 pounds we need to shed, we remain: wanted, love, kept, desired, approved of, accepted, valuable and full of Jesus. God looks at us with love; He doesn’t spend one ounce of time hating our outsides. And, if He doesn’t, why should we?
You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. (Song of Solomon 4:7)
Is weight a battle for you? Or, are you going through a different kind of battle in your life? A battle of discouragement, disappointment, frustration, loneliness, fear, worry or doubt? You may be interested in reading my latest book, “Battle Ready: Train your Mind to Conquer Challenges, Defeat Doubt and Live Victoriously.” Many women have found liberation, restoration, renewal and life-change from its pages. I believe, God will do a mighty work as you read it. XOXO! Check it out today!
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I think your response to your daughter was perfect. We don’t want our girls to be ashamed of their bodies, and your response conveyed that message. I am sure I would have stumbled around before coming up with a response.
I opened my emails to this devotion on my top page right after I had just spent too many minutes shaming myself in front of the mirror! Thank you for bringing Gods words in front of my eyes! He has truly worked through you this day to remind me who He knows I am. I am loved even if I don’t love myself right now. Thank you for that
I learned to say “I may have fat on my body, but I am NOT a fat woman!” How we speak to our reflection is a key to seeing Christ in us, the hope of Glory! ? *Adjust your crown, square your shoulders, smile, and step onto the path He has prepared for you today!
Thanks for this reminder Kelly❤
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Loved these words today, Kelly. We live with the pressure to conform in every where, don’t we? Thank you for the reminder that our worth is found in Him! Blessings, Tammy
God looks at the heart! Amen! So grateful for this encouragement today!
I am so impressed with your answer to your daughter. It was so important to answer it in a way that she can out into the world with her head held high knowing she is loved no matter what. You did it!!!!
I love your words today, friend! So good!
Ugh. I relate to this. Feeling fat is such a common feeling for many of us, regardless of our actual size. Thanks for sharing these words of wisdom that Jesus is not in the business of weighing us. Amen!
This really spoke to me today and I have been struggling with my weight due to medical reasons. I have been fat shamed by my husband and feel isolated knowing the medications I have been on caused it. I really needed this word today. Thank you so much for your vulnerability to post this and for encouraging others with God’s word.
He doesn’t spend one ounce of time hating our outsides. That is perfect. laurensparks.net
I think you look like a RaRa cheerleader. That hurts coming from people who love you, the doctor who swears you are depressed because of it, family at Thanksgiving. Children are brutally honest, and sometimes cruel. The only real beauty comes from the Lord and from the heart. And saying you’re sorry doesn’t help, I once had someone call and apologize to me for something someone else had said about me, that he was so sorry. Then why didn’t he call? And the same person bought me a shirt three sizes too big. If you are a 2 or 7 x, He looks at your heart and He hears what you say.
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Today I received an email about an observation from my supervisor at work full of wonderful feedback, but all I saw was how round I looked in the picture taken during the observation. I was trying to log onto my work email to look at the picture again, when my blog email popped up instead and this post’s title caught my eye. This was exactly what I needed to hear. God is using your words, vulnerability, and sharing of your heart! Thank you <3
Most of us need to remind ourselves of this truth over and over in this photoshopped, Pinterest-perfect world we live in. Thanks for being that reminder today.