There are times in our life when it feels no one understands. In these places, we may communicate our heart along with every word from Alpha to Omega in conversation, and still be met with blank eyes. Alternately, we may try a new action and see it through, yet still find the person responds – “not as expected”. Or, we may open up and convey our insides only to feel utterly rejected because the “listener” changes the subject or looks the other way.
There are times in life when our insides are almost 100% certain we are: alone. Are you there today?
Do you feel abandoned by those who are supposed to love you? Broken because you are trying your hardest and it still is not working out?
Don’t lose hope. I believe, in certain seasons of life, there are things in our heart — only God understands.
“Lord, you have seen what is in my heart. You know all about me. You know when I sit down and when I get up. You know what I’m thinking even though you are far away. You know when I go out to work and when I come back home. You know exactly how I live. Lord, even before I speak a word, you know all about it.” (Psalm 139:1-4)
Even when they want to, man can’t fully discern from the outside what God sees in our insides. The motives, intentions, will, spirit, history, thought processes and motivations to man — are hidden, but to God — are seen. Only God has X-Ray vision.
Why is it this way? This makes us run to Him. Call on Him. Accept His consolation. Over time, we build an inside-joke like relationship with the King of Kings. “Only He understands… Only God knows… Only He saves me…”
This doesn’t mean we write people off, expect them to never understand or decide not to share our heart. It means we stop hitting our head against the wall, trying to get everyone to understand every detail of our “backstory”. Instead, we trust God is rewriting a better story. We call out to Him and permit Him to hear our pain. We wait by faith, not by sight.
The endless explaining of “all our reasons” and “why we did what we did” discussions take a backseat to God’s words. We may even find that He wants us to recognize that we are entering a new season. Here, we may need to make some personal changes or set some new boundaries.
This most easily happens when we become less focused on “changing-them” and more intentionally focused on “changing-me”.
Or we can decide to NOT do this.
The hard truth is: We either partner with God as He takes us where He is going or we fight Him tooth and nail and we go our own way. Woe be it to the child who engages in hand-to-hand combat against the Lord Almighty.
In some ways, I think I’ve done this lately because I don’t want things to change. But the kind-of funny reality is they’re changing anyway. Whether I like it or not. God always wins.
His plans are good too. It’s usually in retrospect we come to this.
Either way, wisdom is — at some point before “retrospect” — stopping to throw your hands up and refuse to do what you’ve been doing. Why? Because carnal breakthrough aside from Jesus is insanity.
Real change is saying: “I don’t know how Jesus, but give me the grace anyway to do what it is your heart most wants.”
Then, by faith, you lean into Him and agree to take a new path. Even if it is completely uncharted territory.
“You are all around me. You are behind me and in front of me. You hold me in your power.” (Ps. 139:5)