Is that knotted feeling of annoyance building in your stomach? Are you avoiding a person because they keep doing that thing? Do you know what’s right, but are afraid to share what’s wrong?
I like avoidance. I can pretend all is good, until it isn’t. Until I get to the point where I’m about to explode. Here, at 500 degree temperatures, I find it’s nearly impossible to present, “Love is patient. Love is kind.”
Poor sight says, “Protect yourself.”
Good foresight says, “Address frustration.”
Godly insight says, “God, how?”
I used to just go up to people and unload. I lost friends. I also used to hide my annoyance in fear, until one day I’d stop returning the friend’s calls. Both strategies are losing strategies. You end up down a friend and/or walking around with a lead-heavy heart.
If you find you continually lose due to a strategy, the strategy must change. That’s what I discovered as it pertained to my approach. So when a friend recently offended me and I wanted to unload on her, wisdom spoke, “Talk to your husband about it first, give yourself some time to process it, and talk to God about it.”
The more I did, the more I realized: No two people are alike and neither are two situations. God has specific plans for each predicament, but what He always wants to prevail is love.
“And do everything with love.” 1 Cor. 16:4
How can love prevail in your relationship?
Often it is less about talking and more about praying. If we prayed far more about what we blabbed about, we might arrive at a wonderful outcome. This is what I’ve been pondering. And it’s much of what God called me to do with my friend. Rather than do nothing, I can pray continually. I have a feeling huge change is coming and it starts not with my feet approaching her, but with my knees planted down on the ground.
What might your approach be? Consider asking God about it.
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Kelly, I just wanted you to know I totally get where you are coming from. I run from confrontation even if I have been deeply wounded. Often the other person doesn’t even know they have hurt me. I am extraordinarily sensitive to everything in my world, with that comes alot of scaring and intense memories. Someone could step on my little toe as it were and it feels like they stomped on my foot. I am learning like you said to go before the Lord and pray for guidance and peace rather then ruminating ideas in my head that makes all things worse.
Thank you for your openness and sharing the real you.
I started going to God in prayer whenever my husband and I had a disagreement that I was very upset about. This avoided yelling and more hurt feelings. Usually, God would tell me to be patient. So I would wait and pray and wait… My husband would suggest an adjustment, and we would end up happy and hugging. With a friend recently, I was so upset I didn’t think I could return to the same Bible study group. I went to God, and He told me to talk with her in private. I set up a time with her, we talked, and we both were happy with the outcome and hugged. Sometimes the best confrontation is prayer, patience, more talk. Thanks for sharing this post with all of us. This is a good reminder that we don’t all see everything the same, and we know that God does not see things the way we see things!