Category - Contentment

Recently, a friend, did something that completely offended me.
Her sin was so apparent.

What offended me even more was how she seemed to embrace it and promote it.

I took it personally. I started critiquing her in my mind, putting her down in my head and getting annoyed with her in my heart.

You can’t do that and call yourself a Christian.
You can’t defend that and feel good about yourself.
You can’t speak this way and lead others down the same wrong roads.

But as the Lord yielded his sword of truth, I realized that I needed to yield to him.  “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Mt. 7:2)

How often do I sit on the judgement seat,
when the judgement seat is only reserved for One?

How often do I expect a grace-filled responses,
when I hand out condemning ones?

How often am I the master critiquer
instead of the master unduer of another’s underlying shame?

In a way, we want God’s grace, but we want it all for us.

We want it, but can’t extend it,
we walk by it, but don’t walk others to it.
not when it affects us
not when it hurts
not when others offended
then we have nothing to give.

It’s almost like we are a toddler demanding it all for ourselves. We forgot how to share. We forgot that God didn’t extend grace so we could say, “Mine. Mine. Mine.”

In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive. (Acts 20:35)

Aren’t we really the same as the one we blame?

Truth is,
we offended,
we rejected,
we tormented,
we shamed,
we nailed,
every nail
on that cross
but somehow we expect it all in return
for the price paid at the cross
and sometimes we forget others do too, 
don’t we?

We cling to every morsel of his forgiveness and our unmerited worthiness, yet we keep others tied down in the place of unworthy and unforgiven.

We “can’t believe what they did”, but we know “Jesus doesn’t condemn what we did.”

We say,
“Speak meanly  – you better say you are sorry.”
“Hurt me – you will pay”
“Do something wrong – figure it out on your own.”
“Really offend me – you won’t be my friend anymore.”

How often do we think of the act of extending grace verses obtaining it?
How often do we center our heart around giving verses taking?

God’s heart is always found in giving.
Giving a life.
Giving love.
Pouring out grace.

It is here where we find true authentic heart felt love. It is here where lives are changed, where people are moved and where walls come down.

It’s not in the empty demands for love and for change. There, the life of grace loses it’s power.

All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. (2 Cor. 4:15)

Extending grace, makes the glory of God overflow. I want that to happen, don’t you? I want to celebrate thankfulness with another as we see the power of grace flow through, don’t you?

Are we seeking to be a grace-getter or a grace-giver?
Do we sit on the judgment seat with Jesus or do you aim to sit on the mercy seat with him?

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Luke 6:38)

The more we give, the more we get.

And, I wonder, would we better comprehend the grace of God,
if we weren’t always trying to extend the wrath of God?

Perhaps, then, we would receive it because we believe it.

God is the greatest giver. He stands ready to dump blessing after blessing, mercy after mercy, and love after love in our lap, if we will only let him. The more we measure out – the more he measures in. Let’s give in abundance, from the free-flowing love that is always being poured into us by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross.

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Today, I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth and joining Meredith Bernard for Woman to Woman Wednesday.

Every time my son does something bad, he looks up at me with fear-filled eyes and asks, “Do you still love me?” He asks it over and over again – as if every bit of who he is depends the response.

In those little fear-filled, tear-filled eyes, I know he’s asking:

Am I am enough?

Do you still want me? Care about me?

Have I pushed you over the edge? Over the point of no return?

In his pleading, he’s asking if everything has changed.
Wondering if he has finally crossed the threshold of abandonment.
Pondering if he is worthy of my love. My care. My heart.
Deciding if he is good enough as he is.

He is begging to be accepted.

And, how often am I am just like my little son?

How often do I look up at God with pleading puppy dog eyes and ask, “God, do you still love me?”

It’s on days when I mess up. When I fall down. When I scrape a knee. It’s on these days where I wonder if God still sees me, still loves me and still wants me.

It’s on these days where I feel unworthy, unlovable and undeserving. It’s on these days where I think God is disappointed.

Because, really, who wants to be around someone who is always offending? Always a mess up? A consistent failure?

People tend to run from these type of people.

I understand my son – and his questions.
We can’t get things right.
We drop the ball.

But, is God really a “Love me, love me not” type of God?  And, can he really ever stop loving us?

Because it is by grace that we have been saved. It’s through faith and not by our own works. It is a gift. An undeserved, non-reciprocal and free gift. (Eph. 2:8).

So if it really is a gift – from him –
then why am I always trying to wrap up my own gifts – for him?

Why am I so often the powered gifter, instead of the humbled receiver?

In this, I miss the gift. I miss the heart. I miss the grace. I miss his power.

I miss the point – and, as a result, I feel distanced from God. Apart from his love. Deprived of his grace. I look up at him and plead, because I know I am not good enough and never can be.

I have made it all about me.

If I do well, like a balloon, I inflate with pride. If I don’t, I deflate with self-condemnation.  Either way, I stand ready to lose all my air, all my reliance on him and all my ability to fly to new heights. It’s a no win. And, perhaps this is why God did not base faith on works.

Yes, God calls us to love him and obey him. But, even more, he calls us to live covered by his blood and by his free gift of grace. Because, it’s here that we can truly love God and love others.

The wages of our sin is death; but the wages of his death is freedom.

Freedom in a love that is permanent.
Freedom in a death that secures.
Freedom in a life that makes us worthy.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

So, the next time I look up to God, ready to ask, do you still love me, I will remember:
Christ’s love never ends.
His love never failed – or will fail.
His love makes me worthy.
His grace makes me whole.
The Spirit comforts me.
Not based on my output, but based on his indwelling.
I am secure.
Safe.
Worthy.
Significant.
Clean.
Renewed.
Saved.
Free.

It’s all given to me, by the one who can never stop loving me. He gives it to you too. Like a locket that holds an image of a loved one, will you choose to receive – and lock his image? Will you choose to remember that this necklace is engraved around your heart? Locked in your soul? It’s love is always held within.  Will you choose remember this image of unchanging love, unmerited grace and unbelievable power?

No matter how you may feel, Christ is right there, with you in your moment, loving your soul beyond any embrace you could ever fathom.

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I needed this time; I needed a way to release the little kinks from my aching back, a time to find refreshment and a time to let go.

So when my husband gave me the opportunity to get a massage, I jumped at the idea. I saw it as the opportune time to just “be” – to let go.

Although, as I lay on that table, I couldn’t quite accomplish the “let go” part. I couldn’t relax.  It was almost like I felt afraid to let myself be at the will of someone else.

Even the masseuse could tell.

She looked at me and said, “Kelly, if you want me to really work, then you’ve got to let go so I can release the tension and the pain. Trust me to do my work. You will be better off in the long run if you relax and trust me.  When you do, I can get into the deep issues and handle the stress.”

Wow.  This really got me to thinking.

There is power in the ability to let go.

If I can just breathe, exhale and let myself rest as she does her work, the result will be amazing.

Isn’t this true with God too?  

If we can just let go of our ways, our tension, our plans, won’t he be faithful to work out all the kinks?  

Won’t he leave us better off than we ever could have imagined?

Won’t he find a way to release our life stresses better than we ever could
– as we trust him with all things, in all ways?

But, why is control so hard to let go?  

Why is it so hard to be completely open and malleable to another’s work?

Why?

Because “Control” lures us in, and says:

With me, you have charge over your life.  No one can hold you back. You reign.
With me, you have the advantage, so that others don’t take advantage of you.
With me, you don’t have to worry about the unknown, because you can fight to make it known.
With me, you can make others do what you need them to do.
With me, you are working towards something, not wasting time waiting.
With me, you have a well-known friend -we have always walked together.

With control, we want all that God has to offer us, but we demand it by our own merits.
With control, we feel we deserve control.
With control, we miss God’s voice.

Oh, how control lies to us. We exchange God’s ultimate control with self-seeking control in our lives.  Our controlling ways are a counterfeit for God’s charge.

A counterfeit that is not from God…

The Devil loves life-sucking counterfeit replacements for God’s life giving solutions. We don’t want to be tricked.  We don’t want to give the devil a foothold. (Eph. 4:27)

The Counterfeit for God’s Sovereign Control:

– Tells us we can rule on high, instead of God.
– Continually makes us work to achieve good things.
– Fosters pride.
– Makes us fearful of the unknown.
– Consumes us with our work.
– Encourages us to rule over people, instead of being under the rule of our master.
– Discourages and demotivates us when things don’t go our way.
– Builds feelings of anger and bitterness in those we try to control.
– Fosters a distrust of God, as we never get a chance to see Gods’ work when we control.

Does this sound like God at work?  Does this sound like healing, rebuilding and restorative work?

I don’t want this.  I don’t want to lay it all out on the table and not be able to let go of things. I don’t want to hold on to life with a death grip.  I don’t want to miss God’s healing power in my life, in my circumstances and in my trials because I am so tightly spun that I can’t see his hand.

What a waste.

I know God has so much more in store for me – and he has so much more in store for you.  He wants us to lay down at the foot of the cross and to trust him.  He wants us to breathe in grace and to exhale peace.  He wants us to let him work, to let him knead the deep aches, hurts and tensions. He wants to work those out.

Oh how badly he wants to repair us.  He wants to heal us.  Will we let him?

We have to be open, willing and ready vessels.

Because when we stop working, stop controlling and start letting go – we find Him.

When we stop achieving and start receiving, we find life.

Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. (Psalm 55:22)

When we surrender our ways, when we lay it all down before him, he will be faithful to restore us.

I am ready to let go and let God. Are you?

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Today I am delighted to have Katy McCown post and host the linkup. Katy is a super-mom of 6 and a NFL wife. She is also an inspiration to us all.

In Isaiah 43, God’s people prepared for a journey.

A long journey. A challenging journey.

One sure to present danger and hardships. A journey much like the one we face every day. Our destination is a heavenly home with no pain or sadness or hurt … but we’re not there yet. Today, we travel.

But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, ‘Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.”’ Isaiah 43:1 (NLT)

I think there’s something special about making God’s words personal. Every night one of my boys requests we sing the familiar words of “Jesus loves me” before he shuts his eyes, except even at his young age, he won’t settle for a blanket promise. He asks, instead, “Will you sing Jesus loves Isaiah?” I smile and sing replacing every “me” with his own, unique name. And he smiles knowing God’s promises are true for him.

Click here to read more and join the link-up!

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Do you ever feel stagnant? Like you are trying to accelerate, but going nowhere? What do you do when you feel stuck?

I know I can sometimes feel this way, I wonder, “Am I making a difference? Serving a purpose? Changing lives? Impacting the world? Is my life adding up to anything meaningful?”

Normally it’s when I have been rejected and I feel dejected,
or when I am down and start looking around,
or when I see the progress of man and start feeling like a scam.

It’s these times that I feel like a car just spinning it’s wheels – spinning round and round – but getting nowhere. I push and I push – but somehow I still stay stuck. No matter how hard I slam that gas pedal, I still have no idea where I am headed.

It’s aggravating. Frustrating. Demoralizing.

It doesn’t matter if I steer in the right direction, because the only direction I feel I am headed is – nowhere.

For much of my life, I sludged around in the mud. I worked in jobs that never satisfied. I arrived with a smile – and left with a frown. I felt purposeless. Passionless. And, disappointed in myself.

During this time, I realized:

To live without cause, is to feel like a fraud.
To not make a difference, is to become indifferent.
To fake like you’re okay is to put on a good play.
To not see results, is a personal insult.

But, this is not how God intends us to live. God desires us to be authentic, patient and enduring. 

Yet, so many days, I return to this place of “stuck”. I may want bigger progress.  More lives changed. I may want to do better spiritually. Or to be a better mom. Or to have deeper relationships. Or I want to feel closer to God.

Often, I just feel stuck.

But, God’s best sermons aren’t delivered at church they are delivered during these moments – these moments of “stuck”.

It is here where we are forced to wait and be still.
It is here where we can focus – on Him.

It’s in these places of “wait” where God’s work really gets started. This muddy ground is his best working ground. It is here, where he transforms us and molds us – growing us in patience, endurance and perseverance.

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3-4)

It’s here we grow and sow. As we grow in patience we sow faith. As we let go of fear (often the fear of mediocrity), true purpose surfaces. It is here we find – our calling.  

The bottom line of any true calling is pleasing and serving the Lord.

The second we let go of fear and indifference – we start making a difference.

We start to understand that he is at work –
in us – instead of us demanding to have him work – through us.  

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. (John 15:4)

God is training you for greatness.
He is sovereign over all.
He is working his plan from beginning to end even when you can’t see it.
He is always at work.
Just because you can’t see doesn’t mean he can’t.
He decides the proper time to exalt us.

We can wait on him. Even if that time of exaltation is at heavens door, we can still trust in his plan.

Let’s not miss the moment. Because the most important calling for our lives is not the one we dream of – but the one that he has already placed in front of us for this exact moment. 

Let’s call out to the Lord. He will help us. His words will guide us.

Because when we stop focusing on us, and our circumstances – and we start focusing on him and his glory – this is when we see things through a new light.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. (Ps. 32:8)

Our wheels will stop spinning, our gas pedal finally gets a brake and our lives start moving forward, because God is at work to move us to destinations we never expected.

Instinctively, I am one who loves to fight back.

I resurrect walls to keep others from hurting me.
I walk with a shield to keep things from getting past me.
I respond with defensiveness to make sure the fortress stays secure.
I grab my weapons so others know that I am a well-protected woman.

Bottom line, I am a fighter. I am a regular defender of my own causes.

But, God is calling me to surrender.
He is calling me to wave my white flag.
To lay it all down.

It’s not so much that he doesn’t want me to be a warrior, but it is that I have been going about it the wrong way.

While I have thought, arm up, he says, “Lay it down.”
While I have thought, keep safe, he says, “Go risky.”
While I have thought, protect, he says, “Let me be the protector.

He requests one position of me that is the ultimate military gambit.  It is one condition that changes the whole battlefield. He calls me to it.

Will I lay down my plans? My armors to make this change?

Because your heart was tender and you humbled yourself before the LORD when you heard what I spoke against this place and against its inhabitants that they should become a desolation and a curse, and you have torn your clothes and wept before Me, I truly have heard you,” declares the LORD. (2 Kings 22:19)

What is this condition the Lord desires?

It is an open, vulnerable, humbled and receptive heart.

It is a heart where walls are down, where weapons are abandoned
and doors lay wide open so the Lord can enter in and best do his work.

It is a heart where God teaches us the moves
and the tactics that will change our lives.

It is a heart where our arms learn to embrace
the Father like we never have before.

In this, we no longer need to wage war on our own because the ultimate Warrior is directing us. Why do you need yourself, when you have someone far greater than you leading you? What use are your weapons when you now have his?

We can trust that this ultimate General knows the best way for us and can take care of us better than we could ever take care of our selves.

“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Ex. 14:14)

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I am delighted to linkup today with Suzanne Eller’s #LiveFreeThursday and Five Minute Friday.

I messed up again.

I had planned to act a certain way and then I did the exact opposite in the moment.

Has this ever happened to you?

It’s frustrating, irritating – and it kind of feels demoralizing. I want to act better, do better and be better. But I try, and fail.

Sometimes I look at myself and start to say, “Get it together girl.  You aren’t doing anything right.”

But, as I see my reflection, I start to see a different reflection – the reflection of the image of Christ. A reflection of a girl that he proclaims is fearfully and wonderfully made.

I see one who he created just as he wanted her to be. I see me.

And, I realize that when he looks at me, he doesn’t think about me the way I do. He doesn’t say the things I say to myself.

He does not look down on me and say, “Get it together, girl.”
He doesn’t say, “There you go – messing up again.”
He doesn’t say, “You’re always dropping the ball.”
He doesn’t say, “You can’t do anything right…”

This is not the heart of Jesus.

Instead, his heart says:

“Seek me and I will handle the rest.”
“Trust me, I have a plan.”
“When you are weak, I am strong.”
“I use sinners to accomplish my plans.”
“I don’t call the perfect, I call the imperfect to go in my perfect way.”
“You are more than a conqueror through me.”
“Today you are weak, but it is exactly your weakness that will grow you.”
“I knew your weaknesses when I called you and I still wanted you.”
“I see your failings and I still love you.”
“You are only one ‘I’m sorry’ away from my forgiveness.”
“Shame may read on the last line, but the book is closed upon my forgiveness.”
“Nothing you do can separate you from my love.”

God doesn’t see the reflection of a bad girl who can’t do right;
he sees the reflection of his love.

A love he is prepared to send forth through an imperfect broken vessel. Because, it is through the broken pieces that we seek him and need him to put us back together again.  In this pursuit, we find his glory, his majesty and his sanctifying power.

Our weaknesses don’t hold back his work.

The bottom line is I am loved. I am always in his love. I will mess up, but Jesus has risen up so that I can rise up with him as I lay it all down for him.

so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power. (1 Cor. 2:5)

I can lay down my shame, my regret, my fears, my condemnation. I don’t need those things with Jesus. He paid for those things already.

I praise his glorious name! I give him all glory. Let us bow down to the one who has high and lifted as the greatest sacrifice – in the name of love. He effectively casts out all fear.

My weaknesses simply become points where his glory may be radiantly displayed – as he transforms me. In that, I can walk proud.

…I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. (2 Cor. 12:5)