I come on this blog and talk the talk, but then at home, I drop the ball.
I raise my hands to pray, only to turn and go the opposite way.
I say in Jesus’ name, and seconds later, wonder if my name still counts in his book.
I love other people, until it gets inconvenient.
These actions make me feel like an inadequate daughter, a lazy child and a no-good-worthy christian. They make me wonder if Jesus could really love a girl like this?
A girl who is so often just a Christian poser.
While I know Jesus extends me grace (which I gladly receive – in abundance), I still wonder – what rules – the flesh or the Spirit?
I say, “your will be done,” and then say “I don’t know when He will show up.”
I utter, “you have this God,” only to start to worry.
I seek his face, only to come face to face with the fact that he may not be happy with me.
I have looked at God in all the wrong way, because he is not: a “convenient” Sovereign god. a “genie-in-a-bottle” god. a “call-in-case-of-emergency” god. a “I-see-you-from-afar” god.
or a “I’ll-only-love-you-if-your-good” god.
The truth is, the real truth, the I-have-to-cling-to-it truth is: he is the “I-will-always-be-with-you, the I-will never-leave-you, the you-can’t-do-anything-to-make-me-stop-loving-you GOD.
He is the God who doesn’t see me through the face of my mistakes,
but by through the power of his sacrifice.
It’s as if he simply sees through my inadequacies,
straight into the reflection of his heart.
He fully loves. He doesn’t love when all goes well as I am so prone to do – and so prone to expect him to do – but he loves infinitely, incredibly and unduly.
God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ… Eph. 2:4-5
I am not alive to me. I am dead to me. I am alive to Christ.
In this, he doesn’t call me to be put together, he calls me to be broken apart so that he can do his part. His part is creating me into his work of art.
Today, we walk with a work-in-progress sign on, but tomorrow we won’t need a sign. In heaven, all signs will point to the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit – the complete fulfillment of all meaning.Here, God will be faithful to unveil, us, his greatest completed works of art in his perfect glory.
We won’t have to worry about imperfections, inadequacies or incapabilities, because we will be simply in awe of who he made us to be.
God created the earth and that is astounding. Can you even imagine how astounding we will look as God completes his final strokes? A painting is never completely understood until the very end. It will all become clear.
God is the definition of artistry. We never think of him that way, do we?
All of today, are the small workings of his beauty. Rest, my fellow work-in-progress sign carrier, we will one day be completed.
For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. Hebrews 10:14
A HUGE PRAISE:
We just fixed the hacking issue this morning!
Comments have been down for the past week,
but please feel free to comment away!!!
God is good!
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Purposeful Faith has been delighted to have Katy McCown join us as a guest contributor. Her insights have compelled our heart to love God more and more. We wish her only the best as she follows God in the next chapter of her life. Katie, thank you for being you. You glorify God in a powerful way!
“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” Proverbs 31:25 (NLT)
And the hearts of all God’s girls say, Yes, please!
But deep down we wonder, Is this really attainable? Does her newspaper tell the same stories mine tells? No way she considers college costs and laughs.
Before we talk about the laugh we long for, let’s assess our current condition.
How does your sentence end?
She ________ ?
To help you fill in the blank, consider how you might respond in this moment:
You expect your husband (or friend, sister, mom, etc.) to meet you for dinner. You wait 30 minutes and he’s a no-show. What thoughts race through your head while you wait?
He’s hurt. Your heart beats faster and your palms begin to sweat. What route did he take to get here? You check your phone for a missed call from a number you don’t know and consider grabbing your keys to bolt for the car and re-trace the path he would have driven to the restaurant.
He doesn’t care. While you wait you replay all the ways you don’t measure up. Your head drops and a tear may even cloud your eye as you pick yourself apart and tear yourself to shreds. No wonder he’s not here.
He’s not worth it. Your fingers drum the table as your blood pressure rises. You run through the long list of demands still on your plate. How dare he waste my time.
If number one is your instinctive response, your blank may be filled with words like: She worries. She fears. She panics.
If you identify with number two, maybe these words strike a chord: She compares. She doubts.
If option three nails you on the head, then maybe you describe yourself as: She erupts. She controls.
Maybe you’re like me (and Goldilocks) and you’ve tested all three seats, but still haven’t found the one that’s just right. The bad news is that leaves us all scared, sad or sorta mean. But there is good news!
In her book Living So That, Wendy Blight writes,
“Emotionally, our faith is often muddled by fear, hesitancy, and doubt. But our feelings become irrelevant when Jesus is the object of our faith – when He alone is the One in whom we trust.”
Our faith hangs not on the future, but on the One who holds the future.
The woman God paints in Proverbs 31 fears nothing – not because of earthly security or stable emotions, but because of the position and condition of her heart.
She laughs, because she trusts.
“My friends, we are not those who give up hope and so are lost; but we are of the company who live by faith and so are saved.” Hebrews 10:39 (The Voice)
A few days ago all the stars aligned and every, single, one of my six children.
Fell asleep at the exact, same, time during the afternoon.
I tip-toed to my room as fast as tip-toes can carry a tired mama and nestled into the pillows with a smile from one ear to the other. Thank you, God, for the blessing of these few minutes. Thank you, God, for rest. Thank you, God, for
Bzzz … Bzzz … Bzzzzzzzzzz!
Get out! I screamed to the fly as I fanned my hand in circles. I tried to sink back into my tranquil state but to no avail.
Someone left the door open and let a pest in the house.
Bzzz … Bzzz … Bzzzzzzzzzz!
Strategy #1: Ignore it.
Failed. How does one tiny fly know just where to buzz to drive a person millions of times bigger than him CRAZY.
Strategy #2: Avoid it.
Success! Or so I thought. With the help of some spare pillows, I erected a teepee-type structure around my head. And it worked. No more fly. No more buzzing. Back to sweet dreams and silence.
The only problem … I painted myself into a corner. Even the slightest shift of an arm would bring the teepee tumbling down.
Instead of freeing myself from the problem, I trapped myself with a faulty solution.
Is there a pest wreaking havoc in your heart? In your haste to handle the problem, have you set up walls that prevent growth instead of providing protection?
If we want to laugh without fear of the future it’s time to clean house … or heart. Drive out the pests that torment & trap.
If you’ve ever tried to get a fly to do anything you know the dilemma. It reminds me of Shakespeare, “And though she be but little, she is fierce.“
The pests in our hearts put up a fierce fight. Sometimes they outwit. Sometimes they hide or blend into the surroundings. Sometimes they outlast us.
“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 (NLT)
The pest in your heart has a name. The devil pursues you. He waits for the crack in the door. He invades and attacks with relentless force. Something tells me you know this already.
Defeating the devil requires you to do more than ignore or avoid.
“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23
To actively keep my heart, I employ 3 Strategies:
Be Alert! Identify the poison Satan feeds your heart and slam on the brakes (1 Peter 5:8).
Replace lies with Truth! Make every thought obedient to God’s Word (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Choose Faith! Show your belief by what you do (Jame 2:18-24).
So, how would the lady who laughs at the future approach the problem at the restaurant? I bet she prays. She tells God her fears, doubts or anger and begs for His truth to take over. She re-directs her toxic path to one focused on His Words and filled with His promises. And as she chooses to believe Him, she laughs.
“Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.” Ephesians 4:23-24 (NLT)
She laughs without fear of the future. Is this attainable?
I have to believe it is and, more than that, anything less is a life not suited for the daughter of the King.
Special thanks to Meagan at Ancient Verse for donating the artwork in the photo at the top of this post.
I left my job as a television news reporter to join my husband, Luke, on our adventure in the National Football League. 10 years, 12 moves, 6 kids, 5 teams, and 4 states later, it’s safe to say the road has been anything but predictable. Our dreams today don’t look quite like they did ten years ago, but I’ve learned along the way dreams do come true … even if you’re not a Disney World. I blog about a football wife’s life at www.katymccown.com and I’d love for you to visit me!
My blog was hit by a brute force hacker who brutely forced fear straight into my heart.
They attempted to hack and whack the message of God.
To halt the images leading the way to the way, the truth and the life.
To hammer my functionality.
To halt images portraying the way, the truth and life.
I panicked. I emailed help like a mad woman. I fretted and feared.
But, nothing can stop the truth of God.
We may fall, sites may fall, finances may fall, buildings may fall, jobs may fall, kids may fall, feelings may fall, but nothing can make our all-powerful Jesus fall from the right hand of God.
Nothing can make us fall from grace. Nothing can make us fall from our eternal standing with Christ Jesus.
We are not falling victims of senseless attacks, but rising sinners headed to heaven.
God has secured our future no matter what attacks come our way.
With God, we rise above attacks.
What the enemy uses to take us down, God uses to raise us up,
to a greater enlightenment,
to a deeper truth,
to a more powerful resolve to push through obstacles.
Nothing can take Jesus down, because he has already risen up!
The devil might attempt to bring us to our knees, but God uses to reinforce our faith to a greater degree.
You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. (Gen. 50:20)
Lately, I have been getting vulnerable – real vulnerable. This attack has showed me that the more we become vulnerable, the more we lay ourselves wide open to attack.
But, God never promised we wouldn’t be persecuted, he promised us we would have eternal rewards when we are.
We are open and ready to receive from God. We raise our arms in surrender, we lift up our heads, we close our eyes, but this is also the perfect position for the enemy to come right in to shove us over. We aren’t looking at him, afterall. It’s hard to see the onslaught coming.
Can you remember a time where you were going head-on right into the heart of Jesus with complete abandon, only to feel the weight of the world come crashing down?
Can you remember feelings of doubt, discouragement and despair throwing you off track?
Vulnerability and surrendered hearts are open to a brute force attack, if we don’t add safety guards.
For my site, it is extra walls of security and additional plug-ins. We need to plug-in too. We need to plug-in to the armor of God “so that (we) can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” Eph. 6:11
This means we add a little extra security to our holy temples.
We dress up a bit.
We wear our accessories daily.
We protect our open hearts.
We put on:
1. The “belt of truth buckled around (our) waist.” Eph. 6:14
Just as a belt is the center point of our body, so is the Word of God the center point of our lives. All truth flows and knowledge flows from God’s Word that brings life.
2. The “with the breastplate of righteousness in place” Eph. 6:15
No matter how open your heart is to God, when we act in righteous ways, we wear an armor that protects us from getting hurt. It makes all darts against us bounce off.
3. “Feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.” Eph. 6:16
If we are ready and willing, we can’t be stopped. There is resolution in the face of trials. Put on readiness so you may grow and go according to Christ’s purpose.
4. “The shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” Eph. 6:17
When we believe in what we cannot see, the troubles we can see don’t deter us in the moment – we walk with a higher mission.
5. “The helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Eph. 6:17
We can cover our head with the protective helmet of eternal salvation. Our mind can rest secure under it because we have eternal standing that can never be removed.
We wear our armor, but we live/worship/surrender as “wise as a serpent and as innocent as a dove”. Mt. 10:16
This means we worship with hands raised and one eye open.
We share discerning if we may be throwing our valuable pearls to the swine. Mt. 7:6
We pray, knowing that is not by our might, but by God’s that we are protected. Eph. 6:18
Because, otherwise, we are just as vulnerable to an attack as we are to God.
Otherwise, we walk with our heads in the clouds, ready to be hacked right back down to earth.
Let’s get up, wise up and start plugging in to God’s protective armor. We are fighting a greater battle.
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We are on a constant hunt to find pleasure in all we do.
We are seeking a God that is palatable, tasty and pleasurable. We go to big conferences, with big screens and big pastors. All is good as long as it points to Christ, right?
This makes me wonder. It makes me wonder whether the fan-fare would be a delight or a fright to Jesus?
We know it is all about his glory for his story.
We know it is all about his name and not our fame.
But, somehow the famous draw us, the powerful captivate us and the big lights lure us.
Is lowly and humble Jesus found against the big lights of Christianity?
Is he found in the lights of the big show or in the shadow of the big Father?
I can’t help but think that when we demand church be an experience, we miss the experience that is Jesus. We miss the stillness of a moment where it is just us and him. We miss the quiet heart that says, I don’t need all that – I just need you. We miss the convictions of the Holy Spirit at work within us, because we are too focused around us and we can’t hear what he is saying to us.
Entertainment becomes an opiate to hide us from reality.
A crutch to keep our anxious minds in motion.
Novocaine to dull our suffering.
But, perhaps suffering is just what God has set forth for us to feel in the moment, because it will move us towards deeper love and faith.
It’s not the big lights we need to keep our eyes off of ourselves, but simply the light of Christ to shines truth into the hidden places of our aching hearts.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor. 12:10)
But, for us entertainment seekers, silence, quietness and stillness of mind scares us. It’s uncomfortable.
Instead, we become so focused on what others are saying and doing, that we often miss what God wants us to say or do for another. We expect the producers to make the show good enough for us to consume and when we don’t we leave disappointed.
But, did Jesus seek to put on a show to make Christianity glow?
He didn’t seek big followers in order to make new followers.
“When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, ‘Will you give me a drink?'” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) (John 4:17)
This woman went alone. She went with her thoughts. She went with a simple bucket, most likely. But, what she got was an encounter with Jesus. Jesus, who stepped away from the other disciples, away from the crowds to meet a woman in a simple way, through simple words, that would simply change her heart forever.
Jesus’ approach was simple.
He simply approached man with straightforward truth to let the power of the living Word transform dying hearts.
Jesus knew the Word of the Lord is more than sufficient – and more than capable – to accomplish all it is set forth to accomplish.
He withdrew from the crowds for quiet prayer with his Father. He calls us to do the same – to talk without noise, without pretense and without the show being our idol.
Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! (Ps. 150:1-2)
Our call is to praise the Lord, to seek his soul, to seek his face.
Perhaps it doesn’t come down to what others do, or what people offer us, or who says what or how many people are at whatever event or the amount of lights, but it comes down to how we enter into church and how we approach the Father.
It comes down to who and what we follow.
It comes down to what we expect, to what we demand and what we seek. It comes down to: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ (Mt. 22:37) and ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Mt. 22:39)
It comes down to – it’s all about Him.
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“I don’t want you to do that. You better not go there.” “I walked down a path and I saw the bad things that resulted.” “You may get hurt.” “I will have to carry your load.”
When we speak fear, we speak death into another person’s joy. We speak the emotions of worst case scenarios into what could be another’s best. We rain on another’s parade.
I don’t want to be that kind of person.
The kind of person that sees a child with a new balloon – and who then sucks the life right out of it.
I can try to justify it in love:
I don’t want them to be hurt.
I am saving us future pain.
They should know the truth.
But speaking fear is just criticism wrapped with a thin bow of “care”. The “care” bow doesn’t last, but often it’s the underlying words of fear that endure.
Are you raining on a parade?
Are you letting fear dictate your words to another?
To a spouse?
A child?
A friend?
I am guilty. I look at my 3-year old son, carrying big bucket of water and a huge smile, only to say, “Don’t spill that. I really don’t want to clean that up.”
While I know this is a small example, and it won’t ruin his life forever, it still conveys the point. What if, instead, I was to say, “Wow! That looks like fun. You are up to something cool. I want to be a part of that! Let’s take it outside.”
Instead of stealing joy, I am building into it.
I know, so often, I run so fast to fear…
Fear that ruins.
Fear that cripples.
Fear that overshadows emotions.
Fear stands for:
Fun Ends And you’re left… Rejected
What’s the other alternative? Love.
Love stands for:
Letting Obstacles Vanish and Enduring Faith Win
Love doesn’t see issues, but sees hope.
Love doesn’t see threats, but sees opportunity.
Love doesn’t see differences, but common pain.
Love doesn’t see the words “you can’t”, but encourages through the words “you can.”
Love doesn’t see the potential downfall, but a chance for greater faith to be forged.
Love doesn’t run to save, but trusts Jesus to.
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So many times, I become distracted from the greatest love of my life.
I wake up and say my prayers, only to let the craziness of my day draw me away. I tell God, in the morning all is for him, only to let my goals, children and my schedule repel my heart from him. I feel strong in Jesus, only to let my eyes wander. Then I wonder how much he loves me.
How do I get past living like a yo-yo of faithfulness? It’s like one moment I am high and lifted with God and the next I am down in the dumps.
I can’t help but think, but wonder, what if I kept my heart in a place of continual meditation? Then, would my heart keep him where my mouth professes him to be?
Eyes on Jesus
Eyes on his ways
Eyes on his path Not on others Not on the waves Not on the sea Not on the pain Not on the people Not on the plan But on him
As we see him, we see our way,
his unique road marked out just for us.
A road that does not conform to
industry standards,
society,
pressures,
norms,
circumstances,
perceptions
or opinions.
It simply conforms us to Him, his will, his peace and his love. It sends us down roads of renewal and life.
The paths we travel are not the paths of others. So when we look at others paths and compare, we slowly move off of the glowing easy road he designed uniquely for us and quickly move onto a rocky road of hard pursuit.
We become discouraged, rather than encouraged.
We become angry, rather than holy.
We become frustrated, rather than captivated, because what we thought was our lot – was not.
He always had a unique road laid out for us, but we took our eyes off of him – and onto “them”.
But it’s ok. Everything is ok when you know Jesus.
We pick up our heart from the ground,
and seek our way back to the way that always waits,
always stands,
and that is always at work within us.
The Spirit stands ready to more and more establish us – in Him – Christ Jesus. It stands ready to help us put our best foot forward as we return to the source.
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Prov. 16:9
We again place our eyes on him and keep walking towards him, knowing that when we are in him, we are in his will for us.
Remain in me, as I also remain in you.
No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.
Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. John 15:4
He will open doors, he will make people listen and he will do all the things that seem impossible.
God can do anything, you know – far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Eph. 3:20
There is no where he won’t take us when we are following his ways, there is no place to wild, no land too incredible, no forest too fantastic, he travels with us and we are safe.
Our life is his adventure and we are along for the ride.
What unbeaten path are you being called out to? How might God be calling you to continually place your eyes on him?
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She talked and talked and talked.
I listened and listened and listened.
While my mouth sat still, hers moved a hundred miles a minute.
Would I ever get a chance to speak?
Will she ever ask me about me?
Some people can really talk about themselves – a lot!
As my mind spinned a web of annoyance, God came to undo it with his Spirit. He nudged me to truth.
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. Jo. 14:26
Bring to remembrance. When we remember what Jesus has said to us, done for us and given to us, we suddenly remember what is really important.
Things like:so the last will be first, and the first will be last. Mt. 20:16
Remembering centers our soul on the crucified-and-risen one.
The man who never demanded to be fully known. The man who never took the road of delight, entertainment or self-pursuit. The man who surrendered his whole life to the will of his Father. The man who was treated unjustly, unfairly and unbelievably by so many.
But did Jesus ever stop pursuing, reaching and caring?
For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. Jo. 6:38
No, he knew who he served.
But, do we know?
Every moment is an opportunity to serve up love and every pain point is an opportunity to reach beyond ourselves.
What holds us back? Feelings?
Truthfully, Jesus may have felt out of control, used or taken advantage of too.
Yet for Jesus, feelings, control and personal justice were never his greatest cause – love was.
And, it should be my greatest cause too.
Jesus laid down his crown of full control, so he could care for the Father’s greatest creation – us.
Love links arms and drops demands.
Love heals the broken and mends their aches.
Love reaches out when it’s not easy.
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. Jo. 15:3
As I sat critiquing my friend, God spoke love over self, he whispered: “So what Kelly? Do you follow me? Kelly, go deeper on her behalf.”
I followed. With a gently rebuked and softened heart, and said, “Wow, you have been going through so much. I can only imagine how you feel.”
This sentence opened the floodgates to reveal deep pain, hurt and trials. She needed this moment. She craved this moment. It was a moment of healing ministry that God had set aside.
I am so glad I listened.
What if I had chosen apathy instead of empathy?
I would have missed this opportunity.
When we choose to follow Jesus, rather than our annoyances, all roads lead back to love.
It doesn’t matter if our mind protests, because Christ’s love can still work if we are just ready to drop our signs of injustice.
We simply set down our preconceived notions, we stop going through the motions and we watch him work.
We may lose all control, but it doesn’t matter because Jesus Christ has all control anyway. Following him is finding yourself under the control of the only one who really can control all things for good.
I want to reside there.
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Lately, I have been running in mode chicken-with-her-head-cut-off.
And, yes, it is as unpretty as it sounds, my friend.
With activities, school, summer planning, the blog, other writing, my husband and everything else to be done, I feel like I am running a marathon of must-do’s. Surely, I can manage it. Surely things will calm down.
But will they?
What happens when the onslaught never appears to have an end in sight?
Just a couple days ago, one more HUGE item was loaded onto my already slumped shoulders.
“I don’t have time for this! I can’t do this and everything else!”
Well, that is something that most (smart) non-mighty women say, but it isn’t what I said. Instead, I said, this is a have-to-do for today.
The only way I could think of removing it’s power was by clearing it out. It’s like, I felt that by handling it, I could handle my feelings.
So, my eyes focused, my mind raced and my anxiety was set and loaded as I moved forward – all systems go!
And, I did. I accomplished this big action item. I did it.
I did it to meet the words of my husband, “You know, Kelly, I needed you today. You were so focused on you, you missed me.”
I did it to meet the face of my children, “Mommy, we just wanted to play with you.”
I did it to hear my God whisper, “Kelly, what happened to your connection to me?
Sure I did it, but in the process I blew out all the people I loved.
Sometimes I feel that I have to run to a destination, but the greatest destination is always seeking and caring for the hearts the heart of those I love most.
I don’t want to miss that.
I don’t want to spend my life so set on to-dos that I miss the todays.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Mt. 6:33
The reality is:
It’s not the action items that gets done first, it’s the kingdom of God. When we go after his heart and his purpose, we find true purpose. When we seek his face, he pours down on us abundant grace.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest…For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Mt 11:28-30
The great answer to the list of work that never ends is not doing more, it is resting and praying more.
It is laying down to see up. It is seeing up, to see what he pours down. It is the decision to accept a moment of his peace.
Because aren’t we either rushing or resting?
And, if we are rushing how can we accept his rest?
His rest doesn’t necessarily mean we won’t get everything done,
but it does mean we will find a safe refuge and clear direction about how to go.
Who doesn’t need more of that?
It is as simple as saying, “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.” Ruth 1:16
Then we start to believe, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil 4:13
Not the things that I want to do, but the things that he wants me to do.
Not the ways I think I should approach it, but the way he does.
Not with fear as my driver, but with Jesus as my chauffeur.
When I rest in God, I begin to see I don’t have to do it all to know he can take care of it all.
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#CompelTip – Avoid tired and typical writing. Use the 5 F’s to beat boredom!
A unique opportunity was given to me – and then completely taken away.
I could have brought so much to the table. I knew I would have done a great job. I knew God would have used me in a powerful way. I so badly wanted to be used. I so badly wanted to give all I had.
But, I wasn’t chosen. In a sense, I was left behind.
I just needed the chance. Why not me God?
I just needed someone to believe in me. God, can’t you clear a path for me?
Am I not good enough for your blessings? Not special enough to move your mighty hand?
Like a mother removing a treat from a child’s hands, God was pulled away what was mine. I threw a tantrum of my own and wallowed in hurt feelings and disappointment.
God had given, only to rip away.
The moment of his gift- lost.
The sweetness of the moment – handed to someone else.
Bad, bad, bad thoughts rushed in, like:
“One day they will see…they should have picked me.”
“I could have done this better. I would have been different, but more impactful.”
“I will do great things one day and they will say, ‘We made a mistake, we should have given her the chance.'”
God loves reaching curtained hearts,
the ones covered by pounds and pounds of fabric
that hide his show
– and cover his glow.
He opens our eyes. He pulls back the curtains. He places our eyes on him. The one who is center stage. The director of all, so we don’t miss it. So we don’t miss his truth.
So we see what is really at play.
And, what God said to my open, plaint and needy self was:
“(Kelly), are you saying, ‘I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on my mount…, on the utmost heights… I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High?'” Is. 14:12-14
Is that what you are saying, dear child? Because these words sound sadly familiar.
Words like:
“They will see my majesty.” “They will see my glory.” “They should have recognized me.” “I will go so high.” “I will one day show them.”
My heart was shocked. My eyes were open and his truth was flat out in front of me.
I was bowing down to the antithesis of truth.
To the great opposer of humility.
The enemy Father.
The enemy who says, God will leave you high and dry,
because he is up in the sky.
The enemy who points to your powerless as a weakness.
The enemy who shakes your feet to walk you straight away from the heart of Christ.
He is effective. Powerful. Cunning.
We are his best target, because if he can hit us, he can momentarily thwart the plans of God in our lives. He can run our heart amuck in fear, worry and worthlessness. How can one living here, truly honor God?
Yet, If I keep God’s truth front and center I realize:
He may not give me the good I want in today, because he is preparing great for tomorrow.
This role may count for another’s soul.
My heart needs to learn a lesson in humility, so I can go to these places with stability.
When we are forced to step down, God steps up to teach our hearts deeper love.
God doesn’t want us reliant on opportunities, he want’s us reliant on him – the King.
He is forming us into a shadow-image of Christ, that should be our highest desire.
When it seems that God has taken away, the truth is – he has always given.
He has given us an opportunity to see his hand work in our heart. He has given us a chance to get on our knees. He has always given us a pliant heart.
He has given me a chance to be a foot warrior of contentment in the face of opposition and defeat. That is powerful.
He has shown me that the greatest victories aren’t in the big things we do for God, but in the small ways we endure, by faith, in defeat.
Now, my eyes are open to the workings of God.
Perhaps my greatest gift was found more in what I didn’t get, than what I did. For, what I didn’t get forged lessons and a heart condition that will last to eternity. What I could have gotten would have been done in a moment.
God is always giving us his best. Don’t let the devil fool you.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (James 4:7)
ON ANOTHER NOTE – 2 Quick Updates/Announcements:
1. I am delighted to tell you that I am introducing a new regular contributor to the fold at Purposeful Faith. This woman has spoken so many times to my needy and controlled heart. Her words have been like a soothing oil on the rough parts of my striving. She is a #RaRalinkup Cheerleader already and certainly a woman I call friend. I know that so many of you already know and love her. Certainly, you will be blessed by her words to come on this site.
Let’s welcome Katie Reid as a regular Purposeful Faith contributor!
Join us this Thursday to support her big debut!
2. Compel members/future members – Join us tomorrow (Wednesday) on Twitter for the Compel Twitter party. Share a #CompelTip that you learned. On Thursday and Friday, linkup here.
Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.
Every Monday (because don’t we all just love Mondays?), I am going to be doing an encouraging word (2-short minutes!) via video. Hope you like them!
POST: Relying on the Spirit
Days pass.
The alarm clock goes off.
The bible happens.
The kids wake up.
Grace and lunch is served.
Play happens.
Grace, dinner and bed.
Sometimes, I can live my life in routine. I can go through the motions. I can live on auto-pilot.
But, did you know? In a way, the kingdom has already come – in your own heart? Can you grasp how transformational this is?
Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Jo. 14:23
We. Will. Come.
Who is we? Christ. The Spirit. One – living in us.
They don’t live in some corner of the attic, but they have moved straight into our living rooms. All the areas of our lives where we live – every corner and every crevice.
They have made their home in us. They have settled in, taken over and we work their power out. They’ve come to clean us up and to root love deep down. They throw out the lies written on the walls of our heart, with the truth that is them.
Like blood, they are the sustenance that works through us. They keep pumping strength, courage and meaning.
This is why we are instructed to operate by the Spirit and not the flesh.
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Gal. 5:16
The Spirit:
– verifies light, love and the Word of God. Our flesh verifies feelings, shame and regret. – prepares our way, in today, so that Christ is always at play. – gets all things in order for the big day of Christ’s return. – decorates our interior with the presence of God. – confirms that one day we will walk into our eternal home complete in Christ Jesus. – welcomes God in as our prized guest, he gets the best seat at our table called life.
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? 1 Cor. 16:9
It is the works that pour out from the temple that will survive the fire.
Now if any man builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work. 1 Cor. 3:13
I want the fire of God to be lit in me, so that the fire of God will reveal quality in my life.
Lord, let me understand the power of the Spirit that you have placed within me. Rightfully place my eyes on the power of Christ. Let me go knowing the extreme presence that you have imparted in my innermost being. Let me not live in routine, but solely by the power of your Spirit at work in me. Give me eyes to see and to walk with you.
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