Purposeful Faith

Category - Contentment

Finding true contentment

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

Pursue peace image by Katie M. Reid for purposefulfaith.com

Post By: Katie M. Reid

I’m in denial that it’s August already. I’m thankful we live in a tourist state (Michigan) and don’t start school until after Labor Day. Many of my southern friends are sending their kiddos off to school this month.

Our summer has been a whirlwind and I desperately want it to slow down. I had plans to savor, linger, and slow down—but it feels like I’m trying to swim upstream in a river of gooey molasses.

After deliberations with my sister-in-law, I reinstated allowance in our home. The offspring now receive $3 a week—hey, Hubby and I used to receive 50 cents a week, so it’s an upgrade.

I instructed the children that they should save up for something special and not just fill our home with dollar store treasures (a.k.a. cheap junk). They had their eyes set on larger items until the cash started burning a hole in their pockets. They begged me to stop by the store in the midst of a million-things-to-do kind of day. They would not relent even though I tried to explain how much there was to do.

Much to their dismay we ran out of time and I ran out of energy—lugging the handful of kids around town.

So, I said that we would go the next day. I said it matter-of-fact, with every intent of it happening.

And then it didn’t.

I was achy from trying to do too much, the baby needed to eat, the toddler wouldn’t sleep, I couldn’t nap, and so on.

We ran out of time and steam.

I think there was steam coming out of the kids’ ears as I delivered the world-crushing news that we didn’t have time, again, to stop at the store.

They stomped, they screamed, and they called me a liar (more than once).

While their behavior was less-than-stellar, I felt guilty. I hadn’t mean to lie. It wasn’t my intent to not take them. Life happened and plans changed and flexibility and empathy were needed but not offered.

Mom, you always lie.

You say we’re going to do something and we don’t do it!

You are a liar.

I was mad about the unfair accusations but also convicted that often times I unintentionally don’t keep my word. I wanted to remedy the situation so I apologized for what I could.

Kids, I’m really sorry it didn’t work out to take you to the store. I did say that we were going to go, but I should have said something like, ‘We will try our best to go. Or we will most likely go. Or we’ll see if it works out.’ Will you forgive me?

I want my kids to trust me. I need to more careful when I hand out promises. I want them to believe my words.

It’s no fun to feel like a “liar, liar, pants of fire”.

I pleased to say the next day we went to the store, even though it still wasn’t convenient and we didn’t have very much time—but I kept my word and peace was restored.

Here are 3 ways to pursue peace instead of burning down walls of trust:

  1. Be realistic with what you can offer. Many times you might want to help others but when the time comes to make good on your promise, you are unable to fulfill it. It’s hard to know what life will look like months from now. Be careful that you are not ensnaring yourself with your words. Don’t use this as an excuse to be non-committal but ask God to help you be realistic with what you have time for in this present season. It’s easier to be able to help out when the times comes vs. letting someone down because you can’t make good on what you offered a long time ago.
  2. Don’t burn bridges. You want people to be able to trust you. Even if you’ve done something wrong unintentionally, go to the person and apologize for the way that you’ve let them down. Clear the air of offense and be willing to lay down the need to be right for the sake of the relationship (yeah, this one is really hard, but worth it). I’m not talking about issues of sin here, but letting go of the need to be top dog or have the upper hand. Try a little love and logic, like I do with our tween, I love you too much to argue.
  3. Protect the margins on your calendar. Has your summer been like ours? Many of our commitments were unavoidable, but we need to do a better job of protecting margins. When schedules are busting at the seams, frustration seeps out and peace is compromised. Take a look at the rest of the month. Are there any obligations or activities that can be eliminated or delegated? Make some room to breathe and protect your white space. Some seasons require more commitments than others, but make sure your norm isn’t like a hamster in a wheel—spinning round and round but going nowhere in particular. As we rest we communicate trust that God knew what He was doing when he instituted Sabbath.

So the next time $3 is burning a hole in my kids’ pockets, I don’t want to find my own pants on fire because I’m acting like a liar.

Let’s pursue peace with God and family by being true to the Word and keeping our word.

Let’s choose to apologize when we’ve lied and seek to make amends for the sake of our relationship with the Lord and others.

Let’s stop stuffing schedules to the brim and ask God to help us create margin so we can enjoy Him and be recharged.

Psalm 34:14 “Turn from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it.”

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Author & Speaker Katie M. Reid image by Adopting Nations

Katie M. Reid is a tightly wound woman, of the recovering perfectionist variety, who fumbles to receive and extend grace in everyday moments. She delights in her hubby, five children, and their life in ministry. Through her writing, singing, speaking and photography Katie encourages others to find grace in the unraveling of life.

Connect with Katie at katiemreid.com and on Twitter and Facebook.

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Encouraging Words from The Blogosphere

14 Bloggers. 14 Heart-Inspiring Mini-Posts. 14 New Bloggers to Check Out.

Join me today as I welcome mini-guest posts on my blog. We can’t read everything online, so I hope to provide a quick rundown of some great words being written. Check them out!

1. Mary Geisen
Twitter: @MaryGeisen

My story of marriage shattered and with it my childlike dream of love. But like Job, I found hope. My summertime musings turned into truth the day I invited God to take my simple dreams and make them into His beautiful reality. The key to dreaming is accepting God as the keeper and developer of the dreams.

I opened my heart and looked for Jesus in my life. I asked Him “why” questions over and over, and found my answers in Him. In the process, my dreaming didn’t stop, and in the reworking our patient God taught me this…

We nurture dreams when we feed them with hope, purpose and trust.

What begins as a fleeting thought can easily blossom into hope for the future. What looks good on paper may turn into a career that lasts for thirty years. What is broken can be made whole again.

Dreams are the visions we imagine and release to God to mold, shape and grow. When we let go, God creates amazing beauty. He makes all things beautiful!

He covers the sky with clouds;
he supplies the earth with rain
and makes grass grow on the hills.
He provides food for the cattle
and for the young ravens when they call. Psalm 147:8-9

Read more.

2. Bethany McIlrath
Twitter: @BethanyMcIlrath

Blame First, Forgiveness Next

When I tell my husband about an incident and the way it hurt my heart, he listens. Patient as usual. My phrases go something like this: “This happened. Then this happened. It was a mess. I felt____.”

Inevitably, he asks. “Why did that happen?”

I stammer. I don’t get it. I just know I’m hurting. Why do men have to solve everything anyway?

The conversation continues and he gently pushes.

He believes I need to recognize the “why” when something hard or hurtful happens. If a person is behind an issue, I need to assign them blame. Righteous blame…also known as responsibility.

It feels so backwards to me.

Read more…

3. Angela Craig
Twitter: @AngelaLCraig

Sometimes You Win, Most Of The Time You Learn

Whatever you do, the world says, DON’T FAIL. You need to be the best (at everything) or else.

Ultimately, there is nothing wrong with winning (unless you become an ego driven narcissist).

But, if you have ever failed to reach a goal, you will agree that there was a lot you received out of the learning. 

Winning is a one-time gift. Learning is a life-time gift.

I believe, that is why learning is God’s ultimate priority. He is focused on who we are becoming, not what we accomplish.

Here are five ways God uses learning to grow us as His people:

Relationship – the place we face our brokenness and understand the meaning of forgiveness

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 (NIV)

Read the Five Ways…

4. Irina Glazkova
Twitter: @glazkovairina

Gracious God

Many people in the church complimented me on my strength. Little did they know that behind the strong façade I was a wreck. I kept smiling. Sometimes I said that I was tired, but nothing more.

I failed three out of six courses. The Lord was gracious. I was able to get a note from counseling center which allowed me to drop off those courses. There was no fail on my transcript. I couldn’t continue the program. I dropped out.

At the time, it looked like a defeat. I left my dream of becoming an environmental specialist behind. I was not going back to finish the program. How could I when I wasn’t able to pass even the smallest lab reports. Our God is so wise. Sometimes, when the road was not meant for us, He will let us to walk until we are crushed and can’t continue down that way.

With Him are wisdom and might; to Him belong counsel and understanding Job 12:13 NASB

My dream was buried under the rubble of personal and emotional problems. I became more focused on the Lord. I became more involved with my church. My heart became settled. Read more.

5. Courtney Leigh
Twitter: @courtneylblog

Finding Rest from Insomnia

Sleep has always been a thorn in my side. I am a night owl who is required to rise early, and while I meet my responsibilities that require me to rise early, falling asleep is never easy. It doesn’t matter if I go to bed early, drink tea, take sleep aids, or try relaxation techniques. Those methods help to some degree, but they aren’t enough to lull me into a relaxing full night’s sleep.

I lie there tossing and turning, counting down the hours until I will have to get up. I begin to worry not only about what I may have forgotten, but also about whether I will get enough sleep. My mind races to figure out how to ensure that I have the energy I believe will be required to accomplish what I have planned for the next day.

Anxiety takes over because I pressure myself to perfectly manipulate circumstances that are beyond my control.

Then God reminds me that I am following Him, not the other way around. Read More.

6. Sarah Rexford
Twitter: @sarahjrexford

God, Everywhere.

Newsflash! God doesn’t give us a certain amount of faith and hope we use it for the correct issues. He gives us faith and grace for each moment, as we need it!

Despite these truths, at times it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around this. But this shows how little I know of God in comparison to how much there is to know of Him!

Honesty moment? It’s a tiny, little, teeny bit similar to how little I know about sports in relation to how much there is to know. (I mean let’s be real – I had to ask what sport the Blackhawks play. By the way, it’s hockey.)

I need to choose to understand that when God says He cares about me it includes the little things. Even things like college, jobs, internships, and friends (and learning how to make dinner without demolishing the kitchen!). He’s present in all those places, not just when I’m experiencing dramatic life change. Read more.

7. Julie Loos
Twitter: @juliealoos

How Do You Break Free from Anxiety and Overcome Settling in Life?

A year ago, God asked me to do something ridiculous. He asked me to share my story; to write. He asked me to be honest, to unmask and let others know I struggled. When I struggled with anxiety, I felt shame because Christians aren’t supposed to worry. We aren’t supposed to be hopeless and feel desperate, and we aren’t supposed to quit.

Panic keeps you paused and passive.

God didn’t want me to remain muted and overlooked. He wanted me to be courageous and confident.

Me, the girl who likes to blend into the background?

Honestly, I still feel awkward.

I’m still afraid.

When you’re used to hiding, it’s hard to have confidence. I’m vowing to unmask and not withdraw this time.

Five Ways to Overcome Settling…Read more.

8. Stefanie Lynn

A Healed Heart

I recollected what happened.

“God, how can this be? The doctors said the mastectomy was necessary. I’d never dreamed I’d lose that. But I hoped after reconstruction I’d look normal.” With tears streaming down my cheeks, I stared at the pale hospital wall.  “I’m only 34!”  Now it had failed. What I anticipated rectifying the effects of cancer on my body, on my appearance, on me, had failed. Now the only option left was for me to gain thirty pounds and have a procedure requiring six months recovery.

I knew I’d never opt for it. I had three daughters ages 11,7, and two. I’d already lost two years with my family, stolen by cancer, no way I’d voluntarily surrender more.

“God,” I cried, shaking and sobbing alone in my hospital room, “I know You’ll redeem this. I just can’t imagine how.” I stared ahead, trying to comprehend it all. “But You will find a way somehow, some way; You’ll use this for good.”

“You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Man may judge by appearance, but I judge by the heart,” Scripture burned in my brain. “Your heart is beautiful,” His voice whispered into a mind struggling to comprehend such a concept.

I sobbed all afternoon, praying, “God help me fully trust You.” Read More.

9. Shelby Spear
Twitter: @shelspear

Strength in Fragility: How To See Beyond Our Weaknesses

“God is pressing upon this season to see things from a new perspective. To recognize that although I may be fragile, who I am able to Trust in is not.”

God’s love never wanes, His strength never wavers, His comforting never ceases, and His guidance is resolute. Frailty becomes gift worthy when the weakness allows us the freedom to be our true self. This in turn allows the wonderful truths about our Lord and Savior to shine into our glass facade.

Our Lord invites us to embrace the insecurities within us and see them as stepping stones to greatness. He encourages us to believe his love is an oasis for our weakened spirit where we are able to sip his living water, revitalizing our soul and providing strength for the journey.” Read more.

10. Kim Fredrickson
Author, “Give Yourself a Break: Turning Your Inner Critic into a Compassionate Friend”
Twitter: @kimfredrickson

Practicing Self-Compassion

Having a terminal illness with no cure is rough to say the least. Despite such devastating news and the way my life has changed, I’ve been blessed by God’s support and the love and encouragement of family and friends. There are still blessings and things to be grateful for if you look for them.

Self-compassion (S-C) has helped me get through these tough times. When I was diagnosed with cancer, and then PF, I decided to be a good friend to myself. S-C helps me be kind and caring to myself in the ways I talk to myself, take care of myself, encourage myself, and accept the volumes of prayer and support my friends and family offer. I am committed to not turn on myself or abandon myself during these difficult times. God has not, and will not abandon me.

I know He has a purpose for PF in my life, and in the lives of others. I honestly wish I didn’t have to go through cancer or pulmonary fibrosis. I wish I would have a miraculous healing. I know God doesn’t waste any pain or hardships as I submit to Him and allow Him to use what has happened in my life for His purposes…

Read More.

11. Kelly Russel
Twitter: @KellShayRuss

More than A Diagnosis

I googled Luke’s condition, marking the last time I’d experience peace for the next sixteen months. Hopes and dreams for my boy collapsed one by one with each account I read. When I wasn’t cluster feeding my infant, I was reading of botched surgeries and broken lives. I wasn’t sleeping and soon slipped into a dark place. Instead of enjoying my infant, our last, I found myself distancing myself from him. It hurt to love him. I’d lie him back in his crib as soon as I was done nursing him, simultaneously feeling guilty for not savoring those precious moments and knowing that lingering over him only caused more tears.

On one particularly bad night I reached out to a few of my Christian girlfriends. I was wracked with anxiety and depression and knew I could no longer do this on my own. I told them everything, Luke’s condition, my fears, our indecision, how utterly hopeless I felt. It was hard to press “Send” but also strangely freeing when I did. There is power in bringing the darkness into the light. And I was tapping into it.

I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. John 12:46

Read More

12. Kelly R. Baker
Twitter: @kellysinging

From an Outfit of Foolishness to Duds of Discernment

I felt God near me, and the morsels of His Word were enjoyable. I had been trying to read my Bible on a regular basis. I applied the plan to read the chapter from Proverbs that corresponds with the calendar day of the month since it has 31 chapters. It helped me begin the habit of spending time regularly feeding my spirit.

Then one day I started seeing a disturbing pattern. I wasn’t quite sure, so I skimmed for confirmation. Yep. It was there.

I saw myself accurately described in the verses I read. It was staring at me from the black text printed on the thin white paper of my Bible:

I. am. a. fool.

It was one of those moments when you get to the bathroom after sitting at the restaurant table with your friends, and you look in the mirror and discover what everyone else had probably already seen. Read more.

13. Lorraine Reep
Twitter: @lreep

Am I invisible?

Recently I read that many of the craftsman and artisans who built the great European cathedrals didn’t live to see them completed. They never knew the satisfaction of seeing it all come together.

The craftsmen were more than skilled laborers performing a job in exchange for a livelihood. They viewed their work as service, even worship, to God. Many of them intentionally hid some of their best work within walls, fully intending it for HIM alone.

They weren’t afraid their work wouldn’t be seen; they knew the one who truly matters did see it. He sees. The Gospels remind me that he knows if a sparrow falls. The psalmist declares:

“You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through sleepless nights, each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.” (Psalm 56:8, The Message)

The challenge is clear. How can I move from feeling invisible to doing everything with the intention of being invisible?

Read more.

14. Kathy Garrison
Twitter:  @klgarrison8

Finding My Worth

I needed to know that I was enough. To know that others liked me and would include me. Unfortunately, it left me looking for acceptance among people, which will always leave us wanting for more. We can never please everyone and most won’t love us unconditionally.

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. – Galatians 1:10

I’ve always been sensitive to being left out or left behind. I’ve had my feelings hurt unnecessarily at times when I’ve made assumptions about not being included. It’s been a process of years to heal from those wounds and slowly learn about my Father’s love and my worth in his eyes.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.  Ephesians 2:10

Read more.

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When You Don’t Feel Able

Don't Feel Able

God called me to write a book.

And the angel of the Lord appeared to [Gideon] and said to him,
“The Lord is with you, O mighty man of valor.” (Ju. 6:12)

This summer, God has felt not felt “with me” and I’ve felt not a smidgeon mighty.

I wrote this thing last winter, with power, but this season, I lamented.

Everything broke. My knee got hurt; I couldn’t exercise. My shoulder continued to hurt; it wouldn’t stop. My house was isolated; I knew no one. Kids camps got cancelled; my time got cut short. Rejections came; my heart got burdened. I re-read the words of the book; doubt covered me.

If you remove the promises of God
from the work of your hands,
you’ll land in the dirt of defeat and doubt.

And Gideon said to him, “Please, sir, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all his wonderful deeds that our fathers recounted to us, saying, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt?’ But now the Lord has forsaken us and given us into the hand of Midian.” (Judges 6:13)

And Kelly said to God,
“Why has this happened to me? Where are your wonderful deeds?
Did you not say 
you would use this book, me, and my life?
But now you have forgotten me and left me looking up unscalable heights.” 

Don't Feel Able

I haven’t learned much this summer, but I’ve learned,
when you get real with God, he really answers.

And the Lord turned to him and said,
“Go in this might of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?” (Ju. 6:14)

And the Lord turned to me and said, 
“Kelly, this is my work.
Go in my might and
minister to fearful hearts.
Do I not send you?

Abandoned?
Less than?
Where do you feel more minuscule than mighty?

And he said to him, “Please, Lord, how can I save Israel?
He continued Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.” (Ju. 6:15)

And Kelly said to him, “Me? I am a nobody. I don’t look like her. I don’t talk like her. I don’t have gifts or money or a way. I am the least and hardly even a writer.”

Don't Feel Able

And the Lord said to him, “But I will be with you, and you shall strike the Midianites as one man.” (Ju. 6:16)

Admit to God authentically where you can’t
and he’ll remind you how He can.

There is no method to God’s mightiness.  No recipe to his success. No progress without him. No encouragement apart from him. This God, needs nothing from us, because everything, all power and purpose, is Him.

In one strike, through one woman or man, he can – and will – do what he wants to do. He’ll win. It’s that simple.

Rest easy, friends,
no ability, no skill, no strength, no plan, no power is required – but Him.

This is where beauty is, because…

When all strength comes from God,
all glory tends to go to God.

One man.
One woman.
One step.
His power.
A connective spark of glory is lit.

Don't Feel Able

He doesn’t need our anything,
because he is everything. 

Wherever you feel incapable, know: God is capable. Wherever you feel anxious, know: God already has the end in mind. Wherever you feel less than, know: God is greater than your perceptions of yourself. Wherever you feel unseen, know: God cares for every stray feeling, thought and tear that falls.

You are not left, but loved. Not forgotten, but being forged into his image. Keep at it and keep trusting and His wind until, one day, it pushes you home.

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The #1 Spiritual Growth Killer

Spiritual growth

I was spending time with God. All was good in the land of faith and love until some little neuron fired off and decided it was high time I look beyond my online devotional.

“Kelly, did any babysitters apply to your job listing?” I asked myself.

I clicked away. No one applied, I clicked back. My devotional time continued…God loves me, he wants me, he rejoices over me…Should I research search engine optimization for my blog?”

Your distraction is why you only feel a fraction close to God.

Convicted, I clicked back. Yet, again I started reading my First 15 devotional, “You are not a failure in his eyes. He is wholeheartedly glad you are his. He longs to fill you with the knowledge of his gladness today. He longs to give you a revelation of how deeply in love with you he is. The Creator and Sustainer of all rejoices over you as his creation. You are not a mistake. You were made intentionally because your God longed to have relationship with you. I should write a blog post in response to this before I entirely forget what I want to say.”

Distracted, again, I closed the half-read devotional, click some clicks and start producing.

spiritual growth

When we pull away from God,
we never give His life a chance to soak into ours. 

God must wonder where we go when we do this. We stand with him face-to-face, only to become like those people, the ones who look left and right trying to search for something or someone better. There’s nothing better.

Faith-Restorer #1: Say, “I am sorry God. I am sorry I get distracted.”

This morning, when my daughter woke, the first things she did was run into my arms. All she wanted was to nestle in. There was no other question, motive or move. It was me, only me. It was her, only her, knowing she was cared for.

When we get quiet to hear from God, his whispers recharge us.
When we get deep with God, he deeply moves us.
When we set down our plans, he speaks his.
When we rest with no other motives, he directs ours.

Being with God is pushing aside commotion,
to sit in compassion. 

Spiritual Growth

Eyes set, mind steadied and ready to receive, I returned to the devotional.

“God doesn’t see me as a failure.” He forgives me.
“He is wholeheartedly glad I am his.” He wants me every moment.
“He longs to fill me with gladness.” His ongoing growth far exceeds my momentary progress.
“I am not a mistake.” I don’t have to live my life proving and posturing to make myself believe it.

When I sit still with God, He fills.
When I let go of my to-do’s, he pursues.
When I get quiet, fear is quieted.

Faith Restorer #2: Sit in the center of God’s truth and you’ll be held strong in it.

I wiggle back in my seat, to get more, to dive deeper. God speaks:

“…He will quiet you by his love…”  (Zeph. 3:17)

What is an ADD spirit – is quieted by God’s love. This love calms energized nerves, spare-thoughts and unruly temperments – to smooth waters of peace.

Love is the hunt we are always chasing, and yet,
it waits, patiently, for our return. 

Faith Restorer #3: Let in God’s love, versus running from it.

Fall face first into it, knowing it will catch you in grace, restore you in peace and strengthen you in the mighty hands of an Almighty God.

spiritual growth

Faith Restorer #4: Respond to God’s transformation.

Christ’s love often gives us first-sight of liberty. This can feel overwhelming, strong or scary. But, what gives comfort is knowing that the work is not yours, it’s God’s. What he calls you to, he will equip you through. What he has for you, is good for you. What he began, he will complete.

You need not fear it and rush away.
You need not worry you will fail and give up your fight.
You need not wonder about others.

“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

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5 Ways: Calm the Inner-Rumbles of Rejection

Rumblings of Rejection

I am joining Lysa TerKeurst’s Uninvited Book Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers.

Her belly stuck out like a balloon, her shoulders slumped and she wore a skirt like a table cloth. Face as cute as a button, no doubt, this girl was ready to pop.

I remembered those days. Sweaty, in the summer heat. Eager, to be done with it. Waddling, in discomfort. I remembered the odd feelings, the circles in front of the mirror, the clothes wedged up in the small parts of my body. The discomfort.

Striding into the coffee store, I determined to – make her day!

“You look beautiful. Just beautiful,” I declared with oomph, power and confidence.

I waited. She stared.
I hoped. She looked confused.
I felt awkward. She shifted her eyes away.

I put my head down and flew that coffee store door wide-open.

She hates me!
I made a fool out of myself!
She thinks I pity her!
She thinks I am one of those weird “I-want-to rub-your-belly-types.”

Why do I try to be kind?
Why do I always mess up?
Why can’t I do things right?

In that moment, I signed an internal declaration stating I would no longer do dumb things. I put my initials on the blank line, agreeing, “I will not risk, when the greatest one at risk of getting hurt – is always me!” The deal was done. I was over feeling like the loser, who couldn’t succeed at making others feel like winners.

sting of rejection

Oh no! Here she comes. Just 4-feet away. I fumbled around in my purse, trying to find safe refuge (a.k.a. my phone). Heart beating faster and faster, I swiped, clicked and typed. I did anything to remain unseen, until…

…her friend arrived and they mumbled in some foreign language I could not understand.

I stared.
I looked confused.
I shifted my eyes away. 

What I declared as rejection, was never her intention.

She likely couldn’t understand my words. She likely felt insecure. She likely felt alone and afraid in a foreign country, where everything in her world was changing before her very eyes.

For every backslap, there is usually a backstory.

What if I considered what others see,
rather than letting responses be declarations of me?

In Lysa Terkeurst’s latest book, Uninvited, she says,Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me.”

Well, Lysa, you get me thinking, really thinking. Rejection not only steals, he plunders my greatest opportunities to love others. He makes me hate myself sometimes. When I hate me, I tend to only think about – me.

Yet, what I am realizing is the inner-mumblings of rejection, well – they almost always lie. Man doesn’t define who I am – Jesus does. Let him define you too.

5 Things to Remember when Rejection Stings:

  1. You are chosen by God to do great things.
  2. You are royal. Daughter’s of God are always taken care of.
  3. You are holy. God sees your heart, knows your desires and delights in you.
  4. You are God’s special possession and treasures you.
  5. You are called to the light and being led to greater places.

Essentially, remember this verse: You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. (1 Pet. 2:9)

sting of rejection

With God’s ownership over me, I am no longer the byproduct of whom others declare me to be – now, I am an escapee. In God’s truth, I am set free.

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Even when you’re overlooked by others, you are handpicked by God. In her new book, Uninvited, New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst will help you live like you really believe that truth! Order your copy.

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If you liked this post, you may like:

When You are Rejected, Rejected and Rejected Again

The Promise Inside the Sting of Rejection

10 Ways to Develop Rock-Solid Faith

Keep Going

That place that you are desperately scared of? God has already gone there.
The people you are afraid to confront? God knows your best approach.
The doctor’s appointment you can’t stand to think of? He has the answers.
The relationships that you don’t ever think can be healed? God sees the way.
The rejection you deeply fear. God knows how to take it from there.
The positive mindset you can’t seem to claim as your own. He is working on your behalf.

While today you may see all that – is not, God sees all that – will be. It doesn’t scare him. It doesn’t shock him. It doesn’t look impossible. He knows he can do it all. 

He’s not one to waver, to toss and turn about whether or not to care about you. He cares because he is the completeness of care. He works, because he can do it all.

He can do it all. Do you know that?

Rock-Solid Faith

Don’t lose hope.

Don’t back down.

Don’t lay down and give up.

Don’t see life only through your eyes.

You have a King behind you.
You have the #1 Ruler favoring you.
You have glory around you.
The Comforter assisting you.

Don’t look at who you are, look at who He is.

Don’t see impossibility, see the inevitability that He’ll show up.
See with certainty, the soon-to-be miracle in your heart.
Walk with surety, he’ll direct you to his goodness in this land of the living.

God sees the end in sight and it is not far. All loose ends, with God, tie up in goodness. He has a vision. A hope. A work of love being worked out on your behalf. It all makes sense to God.

Grab hold.

BELIEVE.

Declare not only these truths in word,
but, believe – in your heart.

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Ro. 10:9

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Ps. 19:14

The heart holds the difference between love that endures and love that fades after it slips off the tongue. It is the wellspring of life (Prov. 4:23).

If you are talking the talk,

but losing the battle in your walk,

the issue comes down to your heart.

What’s in there? Fear? Guilt? Shame? Doubt? Anxiety? Uncertainty? Disappointment? Discouragement?

Let your heart:
1. Be honest with God & return to God.
2. Stand on guard. Not every voice is a needed voice.
3. Be full of praise.
4. Make way for more holy.
5. Take a firm stand in belief.
6. Return to God throughout the day.
7. Hope in Christ’s love.
8. Meditate on truth.
9. Stay humble.
10. Remain open to God’s growth.

Rock-Solid Faith

When we give God our heart, what we find is, our eyes widen – we delight in his ways (Prov. 23:26). Suddenly, we don’t only speak, but we believe, because God kindles us in his love. We step out as bright temples that representing faithfulness that never ends.

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When You Hate Who You Are

hate who you are

“The girl who smells” & needs to learn what deodorant is.
“The girl with the budding boobs” no one else has.
“The girl who can’t read” and is behind.
“The girl who is selfish” and shouldn’t speak.
“The girl who doesn’t really know what she is saying” and needs direction.
“The girl with too loud a voice” who needs to kneel on some hard floor in front of Mary to figure things out.
“The girl that is not like us.”

What has the world named you?

As I enjoyed lunch with a friend, I mentioned an old prayer partner, “She called me intense,” I said.  “I am no longer offended at these crippling words,” I told her, “I am healed.

Internally, I nodded. Yes, I agreed with that. I am over it. I really am. I’ve wiped my hands clean of that word.

She looked at me and said, “Yes, you know your book is intense too.”

My book?
The thing that is coming out January 2017?
That thing I poured my heart, soul and sweat into, along with the power of 3 coffees a day?
That thing?in the process of lining things up perfectly, are you missing the One who is perfect- (3)

I thought in my bed that night about it. “Intense? No one likes intense. They like funny, they like frilly and they like fanciful, but no one in their right mind like a book to be – intense. People flee from the intensity of hurricanes, tornadoes and tsunamis. They’ll flee me too.”

I got up from bed. I dictionary.com’d it:

intense  [in-tens]

1. acute, strong, or vehement, as sensations, feelings, or emotions: intense anger.
2. of an extreme kind; very great, as in strength, keenness, severity

I was “this”? The kids started mocking again.

I wanted to hate the book in that moment. I wanted to rip it up and speak “loser” over it with loud and forceful declarations – heck, with intensity, with severity and vehement force! I wanted to get all mean all over it.

Do you hate who you are too?

The uncommon, unusable and unrepairable things about you?

But, what if?

What if rather than hiding,
we zipped off people’s demands
to see us, as we are,
how God made us?

I considered this, with the help of some wise counselors.

The world has funny,
but could the world need intensity?

Might God want to create an acute force
that reverberates Jesus?

Do severe times call for more solid
and straightforward messages?

Don't Like Yourself

My husband reframed the words spoken over me. “Kelly, you are bold,” he said.

What if, rather than fearing what others hate,
I unleashed the raw potential of who God made me to be?

What if you did too?

Imagine what all of us, fully believing in God’s good, could do.
Imagine where we could go, if we no longer held back.
Imagine the face of this world, with people unafraid to step into God’s purpose.

For we are his workmanship,
created in Christ Jesus for good works,
which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Eph. 2:10

Each unique characteristic has a unique purpose
on the board game of God’s master plan.

What if we believed that?

Don't Like Myself

What if we let go of fear? And made our darkness bright.
What if we shared God’s good in us? And found we were the missing piece.
What if we stepped in? And Jesus’ power exploded.
What if we’ve been missing out?

When we hold back our true-self, we hold back Christ.

We show a limping Christianity, yet, Jesus wants to show a thriving one. One where He walks on out into the world, not limping, but striding in trust, light and hope.

When we reach into the deep and hate what we see, we embrace the world’s hate for anything that looks different from its likeness.  Yet, when we reach into our deep and believe, with God, “It is good (Gen. 1:31),” something shifts. Something unhooks – and peace falls.

Might God be calling you to unhook the lies?

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Ps. 139:19

Might you see yourself differently?
Known? Loved? Knit as you are for good reason?

Perhaps today, you see yourself reframed and renamed – as His.
A new creation, his original masterpiece, unlike anything else.
An image flowing, moving and working, much like the image of Christ.

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Have Courage!

Have Courage!

I am delighted to welcome Deanna Fields. God has put a message on her heart that we all need to hear. Her words remind me to press into all that God has for me. Thank you Deanna for joining us for Ministry Monday.

Post by: Deanna Fields

In Disney’s newest Cinderella movie, there’s a scene where Ella’s dying mother shares a secret with her daughter, “Have courage.”  Ella’s mother knew it would be difficult for her to grow up without a mother and that she would need courage.  In the same manner, our Heavenly Father has been whispering this same secret to us throughout time.  Now if we’re honest, I think that most of us would confess that we struggle with fear…having no courage.  I know I have!

Many years ago I struggled with fear in many areas.  Our church had launched the first of many short-term mission trips.  It didn’t cross my mind that God would want me to be a part of one of those teams, but while talking with my husband he asked if I was planning to go and I said, “NO…but I haven’t really prayed about it.”

The instant I spoke those words, I felt the Holy Spirit impress upon me to pray.  The next day, I went to the prayer room and the whole time I was thinking “Lord, I really don’t feel like you’re calling me to this, but if you are please be specific with me.  Ireland…it’s really pretty there, and I love working with children.  Israel…hmmm, that’s kind of scary, but whatever you want Lord.”

Boy was I surprised when my Bible opened to Matthew 10:5-6, which basically says Do not go in the way of the gentiles, but rather go to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”  Really God?

sand

Fear gripped me.  The next few weeks the Lord continued to send confirmation and I really couldn’t run from Him anymore.  So back to the prayer room with all my excuses.  “We don’t have the money…My kids are too young and I can’t be gone that long…I’m so busy with the ministry YOU gave me…I’m afraid to fly…It’s scary over in that part of the world!  Basically, I was begging God to change His mind.  Again I was blown away when my Bible landed on Luke 1:11-13, which basically says…

 “then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, and said
‘Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard….’”

God had heard my prayer.  He knew I was afraid and guess what…He still wanted me to go to Israel.  My husband and I didn’t understand why, but we knew we had to face our fears and walk in obedience.  Then something amazing happened!  With the help of the Holy Spirit, we stepped over that fear, and later released our family into 16 other short-term trips and two study abroad trips.  God dealt with that fear in us…but it was a battle for me!

We ALL must continually seek to be a people
who walk in the courage of God.

God wants to impart His courage to us.

How do I know this?

In 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17, Paul prays a blessing that says, “May our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who loved us and by His grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.”  

If you take a look at the focal point of these verses, which is the word encourage, you can find the intent of this prayer.  The actual meaning of the word in this instance is deeper than the meaning of comfort (which is what we think of when we hear the word encourage).  In this instance, this is like God giving us Himself, His Holy Spirit, so we can actually walk out courage in our lives.

Courage is a constant theme throughout scripture where the Lord continually encourages His people with phrases like “fear not” “have courage” and “do not be afraid.” We need a constant reminder that God is in control of our life, and we CAN do all things with Him and through Him!

What areas do you need courage to say yes to God? 

Don’t allow the enemy to intimidate you into doubt and fear.  You will miss experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit by trying to live a safe and comfortable life!

So today I’m planning to lead a women’s retreat to Cambodia next summer…and I’m excited!  This is a new adventure for me.  We are travelling to a place where the culture is extremely different from ours, and the treatment of women can be oppressive in many instances.  The harsh reality is that I won’t understand what these women have experienced or how they feel.  I really don’t have a clue of what’s in store, but I know that God has prepared the way.  So I can walk with courage, not fear, into this incredible opportunity.

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DeAnna Fields bio

bio picDeAnna Fields has been the Women’s Ministry Pastor at Beltway Park Church in Abilene, Texas for almost 16 years.  She loves women of all ages, and works to connect the generations at her church. She and her husband, Doug, have been married for 30 years, and are blessed with three daughters. DeAnna graduated from Texas Tech University in 1984 with a BBA Marketing degree, and is amazed that the Lord wastes nothing she learned in that environment to reach out to the women in her church and community.  It is her passion to encourage women of ALL ages to seek the Lord in every area of their life and understand that we serve a God of resurrection power and healing.

Do you Unknowingly Worship Perfection?

Pursuit of Ideal

First house: Smelled like urine.
Second house: Was painted orange and red.
Third house: Was on a super-highway.
Fourth house: Was a construction zone.
Fifth house: Felt like a cave.

Every house didn’t work, yet, every city before this one didn’t work either.

First city: Wasn’t business-centric enough.
Second city: Wasn’t pretty enough.
Third city: Wasn’t modern enough.
Fourth city: Wasn’t exciting enough.
Fifth city: Wasn’t clean enough.

I crashed on the couch, tears streaming. We had 3 more weeks left before kid had to go to kindergarten and, with an expiring lease, we were going to be homeless. In dark and non-impressive hotel room, I wondered if it wasn’t the fault of the city, or the houses, or the climates or the ice or the people? Who was to blame? I also, resistantly, wondered if the problem was much, much worse.

Was the problem – me?

Did I want to give up because God didn’t give me
every check-marks-the-box item on my list?

I stood up, staring at the city’s horrid heatwaves, the dirt, the grime and the lack of hot restaurants – from on high. I wanted something better than what was pretty good. Each place, there was a something that prohibited me from my everything.

pursuit of ideal

When you search for perfection like a flawless diamond,
you pretty much always walk away with nothing.

I turned my hands; I hold nothing.

Lately, I’ve been spinning my wheels, considering how to market a book I am desperately afraid of. The idea it won’t do well – blockbuster even – stops me in my tracks. It makes me nervous.

So I waste days. I hold nothing.

God puts someone on my heart. He gives me a gently nudge to gently love. I don’t want them to think poorly of me. I don’t want to seem overbearing. I don’t want to rub them wrong way. I get insecure I won’t handle it well, right even.

I turn away. I hold nothing.

What have you been subconsciously turning down because you figure there is no way it will:
1.) Be good enough?
2.) End up good enough?
3.) Make you look good enough?

When we seek ideal, we usually make idols out of desired results. 

We set up perfectly folded and lined items on our shelves and dictate they sit perfectly, yet if one should unfold – or look out of place – we get ruined. The image haunts us.

But the truth is, God has, nor never will be, a God of false images. He is a true God who calls on his children to have true faith. Abiding faith that knows things don’t always have to look well – to end well.

For we live by faith, not by sight. 2 Cor. 5:7

Do I believe this way? Do you?

What would happen if rather than sulking in self-pity,
we rose up in selfless-thanks for what God will do through a small seed of trust?

I haven’t done this, but I want to. I’m resolute I will.

Starting right now, in order to beat my inner-demands for perfection, I will start a new cycle:

  1. Pray
  2. Believe
  3. Wait (& act if prompted)
  4. Pray
  5. Believe
  6. Wait (& act if prompted)
  7. Give thanks – even if it’s no-man’s-land.
  8. Pray
  9. Believe
  10. Wait (& act if prompted)
  11. Give thanks – even if it still appears to be no-man’s land.

Lord, all my desire is before You; And my sighing is not hidden from You. Ps. 38:9

O LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear… Ps. 10:17

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Choose to Celebrate the Beauty

Celebrate the Beauty

Post By: Angela Parlin

He smiled from ear to ear, with a patch of fuzzy hair standing straight up on top of his five-year-old head. Big eyes twinkling, he grabbed my hand from behind the kitchen sink and led me out to the back deck.

“Stay RIGHT there, Mom. I gotta show you something you’re gonna LOVE!”

He descended the stairs, filling the air with his mile-wide smile.

I stood there spilling tears under the sky on a windy Friday afternoon, because some days, I start to understand. These are the days of my life, and they aren’t always easy. I often don’t want them to play out the way they do.

But these off-schedule, messy, monotonous days are always full of beauty—and God gives us the opportunity to choose to see it.

Will we choose to celebrate the beauty found in our own right here, right now?

Sometimes I realize how much I miss. I don’t always enjoy the little gifts in my life, because I’m focused on my to-do lists. Or I’m honed in on my plans and the way they should go. Or I’m fixated on some disappointment. I need these stop-everything moments. I need this reminder–to celebrate the little things.

He climbed up on the green swing seat and asked me if I was ready. He asked if I was watching.

“Go ahead, honey. I’m watching. I’m ready!”

Then my last little tiny, who’s growing way too fast, started pumping his legs back and forth, keeping his eyes on me. I cheered, like he’d crossed the finish line of his first marathon.

And I cried. Because he’s adorable and he’s smart and he’s taller now and his feet can reach and when did I miss him working on the swing?

So many times, I’d pushed him back and forth in that spot, encouraging him to pump his little legs, so that when I walked away, he could keep on swinging. So many times, he just didn’t even want to. He wanted me to push him instead.

Not this day. This day he felt the thrill of figuring it out on his own, of kicking up dirt and swinging high into the air. All by his big self.

So I stood there swinging between pride and joy, but also fear and loss.

I know I’m going to miss these days, and I don’t like that feeling. To fix it, I want to try to be present for every ordinary sliver of daily life with each of my kids. I want to save them all up and hold them in my heart forever.

Of course, every is impossible. Right? We’re only human, and we will miss things. We can make an effort to be present with our people, but there will still be limitations.

One day, we will miss this–and there’s nothing we can do to change that.

What comes next will also be sweet. But it will be different. So today? Let’s love the opportunities God gives us. Let’s ask Him to fill our hearts with wisdom, as the psalmist prayed.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12, NIV

While lost in thoughts about seeing beauty and living fully and all that is to come in our lives, my little man asked a question I’ll never forget.

“Isn’t it FUN to watch me swing, Mom?”

Oh, buddy. You have no idea. I LOVE to watch you swing.

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Angela Parlin

Angela Parlin is a wife and mom to 3 rowdy boys and 1 sweet girl. In addition to spending time with friends and family, she loves to read and write, spend days at the beach, watch romantic comedies, and organize closets. But most of all, she loves Jesus and writes to call attention to the beauty of life in Christ, even when that life collaborates with chaos. Join her at www.angelaparlin.com, So Much Beauty In All This Chaos.