There is this real pressure to look right before man.
TV constantly implies, “Don’t be one of them.”
Clothing stores convey, “You better look as good as the music we’re playing.”
Past encounters remind us, “Be likable, or people will reject or leave you.”
Because of this, it is easy to find an identity, tweak it, and fit it to man.
Ever done that? Molded, morphed or changed color to look like others? To fit in? To be liked? Loved? Accepted? To not be seen as off?
If you’re human, the answer likely is yes.
We like to look like everyone else, so as to not stand out. To not be set apart. To be one of the many. To not feel like we are “too much” or “not enough.” Keeping ourselves from being “set apart” makes us feel safe. It prevents us from being that one… the weirdo!
Yet Jesus tells us, being set apart is this: Holy.
“We have been set apart as holy because Jesus Christ did what God wanted him to do by sacrificing his body once and for all.” Heb. 10:10-12
Why do we fight it? Why do we fight the idea that Jesus picked us up and set us apart? Why do we fight his identity that provides the only identity we’ll ever feel good about: Chosen and set aside for his purposes. Why do we fight him, in us? Everyday, he’s our only saving chance.
As daughters, our identity is Jesus. He will never be loved by the world. But he will always be set apart as the victorious, high and mighty King of Kings. Why would we ever want to settle for the world’s second best when we have the kingdom’s first and only?
What God-given qualities have you stifled because of your fear of man? How have you held back who God created you to be? Where may God be calling you to step up and step out into his purposes, right now? Even if you are set apart?
I get your emails. I know a large majority of you have impossible situations.
Many times, I can’t read your words without reaching my hand up to my heart or crunching up my face in sadness. You all have some heartbreaking stuff going on in your life. I do wish I could fix it. I wish I could reach right in and just tidy up what is terribly wrong.
God hasn’t given me this ability. He hasn’t given it to you either.
But what he has given us is remembrance. He’s given us remembrance of faithfulness. Can you remember it?
Can you think of another horribly desperate and difficult time? A time when you believed there was no way, yet God made a way? Let it come to you. If you can’t remember, sit with this for a minute.
“Remember the former things long past, For I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is no one like Me.” Is. 46:9
Your God, who no man is like, who transcends this earth, who has all resources in his hands, who is the specialist of the impossible, who made a way through the Red Sea, who broke the power of death, who would climb any mountain to find you, who died to save you. . . is God. Your God, who sees your tears, who bottles them up, who knows your every thought, who sees your every move, who sympathizes with your every weakness, who will one day wipe away your tears, is your God.
Your God is unlike any other. He does things unlike any human. He fixes (remember: David, Jonah, Job) unlike any way we could come up with.
He will arrive. He always shows up. His love never fails. His faithfulness endures forever.
He is not a God who lets daughters down. Hold firm in faith. God is moving in the places you cannot see.
“Believe,” she said. “You just have to believe. And don’t settle. See belief all the way through.”
It sounded like a very good and faithful thing to do. It sounded like what I really should do. But as we all know, faith in practicality lives much more painfully than it does through words. You think things like: If God doesn’t come through on this, I am toast. If I don’t find my way, I’ll never be happy. If I don’t get this done, I’ll be left behind.
Belief wavers after that first jolt of confidence and fizzles out like day-old soda. It gets flat sometimes.
So, when looking for a house and walking through one that was “a definite possibility,” her words came back to me. “Don’t settle.” She had gone on to say, “If it is an orange light from God, don’t go, but it if it is a green light, only then proceed.”
I liked the layout. It was open. I liked the paint color. It was grey. I didn’t like the door frames that looked like water had gone up their side. I also didn’t like the musty smell. Internally, I debated if the place had mold.
I wanted to overlook the bad, so I could move forward and be done with this frustrating process of finding a new place.
I went home and told my husband, “I think I found a place that looks pretty good. We probably should move on it.”
He remembered the words of our friend, “Kelly, is it a green light or an orange light?”
Umm…
Well…
Hmm…
How often do we push into something God hasn’t called us to because we are over things? Because it is easier not to contend with that issue anymore? Because faith is hard?
When I saw the reality of it, that place was orangey-red.
“See belief all the way through.”
Where do you need to see belief all the way through?
“Then Jesus told him, ‘Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.’” Jo. 2:29
After talking with my husband, I redirected my thoughts, my heart and my will to believe. I committed to see things through. And I did. I write now from the comfort of a green light home without mold. Our family loves it.
While driving today, a motorcyclist cussed out loud at an intersection. Apparently, he didn’t make a right turn fast enough to get ahead of the cars headed his way. Now, he was slaying everyone, including me, with the evil eye as he sat waiting for his turn to go.
Staring at him, I wondered, “What would it take to fix this man’s attitude? To show him or teach him you don’t act like this?”
Many women ask themselves the same thing. “What would it take to change this person’s attitude? How they approach me, how they live, how they talk to me and listen to me. . . ”
They say, “Should I:”
Be someone different for them?
Bark at them until they act better?
Whine under my breath?
Nitpick their small issues?
Snap back?
Be passive aggressive?
Teach them a lesson?
Flesh aims “to fix.” It focuses on faults.
Spirit loves always. It never ceases in prayer.
My inclination at that intersection was to fix the motorcyclist’s problems. What if God called me to something different? What if rather than fixing, I was called to go about empathizing.
Empathizing, according to Merriam Webster Dictionary, means:
“The action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another…”
Empathy thinks: He is likely having a horrible day. A coffee-spilled-on-you, kids-yelled-at-you, huge-project-at-work, hardly-any-sleep day. I’ve had those days too. I know what it is to feel rushed. I understand what it is to get so annoyed I unleash my mouth like a rabid dog. I can understand how that is.
Empathy acts. It offers eyes of sympathy with a small smile and wave that says, “Please sir, you go ahead. I am making way for you. I love Jesus and I want his love to reach you.”
Empathy sees things from the other side. It loves with all it has. And keeps at it.
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin.” (Heb. 4:15)
As my husband put it, “Kelly, you need a day of relaxation.”
I tended to agree. Recently, stress sat on my shoulders. Grievances were monumental annoyances. My mind was having an affair with worry. To-dos were growing longer. Much was adding up to – too much.
With this, I knew: God was calling me elsewhere – to something greater. So, I went.
I drove to a local park to take the day off and to walk. I was confident I’d found relief right after the 30-minute drive of grueling, never-ending traffic. Except it wasn’t.
As I pulled up to the address shown on Google, the gates were slammed shut. Closed for business. No entry. Bye-bye day of relaxation.
No-go, Kelly. No-go to where God called you.
More irritation climbed my back.
Have you ever gone where you believed God wanted you to go, only to find it a no-go? Only to have the gate shut? Only to feel lost?
Frustrated, but determined not to give up, I circled the mile-long block a couple times, wondering if there was another entrance. There wasn’t. I returned to the gate with the word “STOP” on it, trying to inch forward and back to see if it would open. It wouldn’t. I called a number to find out if it really was closed. It was.
“God, why did you take me here? To drop me? To leave me?”
“Kelly, I never dropped you or left you.”
I looked down on my lap, and I could see that along the drive to this location, God had been speaking all kinds of blessings to me. Words of encouragement, thoughts of learning, discoveries about my day. He had been with me all the time.
He invited me to a drive of delighting in him. Not to a destination I demanded of him.
He never left me.
He never dropped me.
He never lost me.
Often, we declare we’re lost when God knows we’re in the process of being found. We see our way as long and burdensome, but I believe God thinks, “I’m doing something amazing along this way. I am transforming this woman, my way.”
“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” (2 Cor. 4:17)
Perhaps today, you don’t lament where you are, but you grab on to it and see what God has for you.
Friends, as a heads up, Jami Amerine’s book, Stolen Jesus is now available. Don’t miss it.
One time, I did this totally un-Christian thing. I hid something behind the picture frames on my walls. Because it was unseen, potential new home dwellers never knew what lurked there as they walked through my house. Heck! I halfway forgot what was back there too. But on move-out day, when I took the frames down, I saw them: deep wall gouges. Ones never fixed. Ones left behind.
Welcome home! You need to re-plaster your walls!
We walk around just like this. A beautiful picture covers our deeply wounded selves.
We carry these wounds:
We don’t meet the standard of the woman we should be.
We are always falling short of other’s expectations for us.
We don’t match the persona of the woman who can do it all.
We are unworthy of receiving unconditional love.
Underneath the glass cover, no matter how beautiful or sophisticatedly adorned we are, our smile is not as real as we pretend it is. We hurt. We angst.
Our internal pictures tell a different story.
What picture is behind your picture? Is shaped like a wound? What lies deep in your soul? Loneliness? Isolation? Discouragement? Doubt?
May I tell you today, Jesus is strong enough to heal. He still is.
He still works. He still frees. He still sets free. The ancient of days is not so ancient of days that your internal wounds are outside his repair, today.
He loves you. He has chosen you to be in his care, and that means he wants to care for you. What would it look like to let him take what you’ve hidden so long?
To let it belong to God? I believe this blog post is a knock on the door of your soul: let God in.
What if you were to believe: God really heals and right now, he is actively healing you? What would it look like to let his freedom in?
“He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.” (Psalm 107:20)
Friends, as a heads up, Jami Amerine’s book, Stolen Jesus is now available. Don’t miss it.
I am God’s daughter. I am the daughter of a good, good father.
What does this mean?
To my heart it means:
God inclines his eyes to watch me.
He enjoys me.
He is glad he made me.
He wants me.
He delights in giving to me.
He will always help me.
He opens up his inheritance to me, gladly.
He sees me as a reflection of him.
He cheers me on as I go the right way.
He seeks to grow me, so I can thrive.
He wants me to know I am safe with him.
He believes in me.
He thought of me before creating me and liked his workmanship.
He considered my abilities, strengths, character, and frame.
He speaks over me that I am good.
He wants to be near me.
He loves it when I spend time with him.
He delights over me with singing.
He declares I am altogether beautiful, flaws and all.
He gives grace in good measure, without casting down shame.
He hands out wisdom and understanding with good pleasure.
He blesses me with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms.
He freely gives the best of himself to me.
He encourages me to unite in heart-centered relationships with other women.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. . .” (Eph. 1:3-6)
What number from above do you need to let soak in? What truth seems a little distant from you? What do you have a hard time believing?
Ask your good Father to comfort you in that way and make known that exact nature of his good, good character. He will.
And this makes all the difference. When a daughter knows she has a good father, she finally finds peace.
Often, it can be hard to love others authentically. Ever noticed that?
It can be hard to drop TV and take a meal to a sick friend’s house. It can be hard to make a phone call when you had a horrid day. It can be hard to write another blog post when you’re struggling to get by yourself.
But then you think about love. You think about who He is. Jesus.
You think of how he went out there, carrying what was back-breaking, burdensome and unbelievable. . . and he kept going. With us on his mind. With our sin on his back. With our pain that became his pain.
Jesus doesn’t give up on love. I am compelled not to either.
With this, I’ve been observing it…Love-in-action. Others have loved me a lot lately: They’ve taken me into their home when I almost had no home. They’ve made me food when I didn’t have much to offer. They’ve texted me even though I haven’t talked to them in years. They’ve just done stuff in the face of this post-Irma trial.
And in their actions I can see love is what it is all about. It’s about me, and not giving up. It is about me, and enduring. It’s about me, and believing God can, and will.
It is also about you. It’s about you and acting anyway. It is about you, and reaching out. It is about you, and responding kindly. It is about you, and giving to the person with nothing left to give. It is about continuing to speak authentically when the trials of life leave you breathlessly out of words.
I was thinking of all this today. And then a friend wrote me and said her life was changed because of my breathless writing. It wasn’t in a big way or even a big deal. But that’s how the responses to love usually appear – small, little, inconsequential. But somehow, I figure they’re not. The small thank yous? They all add up to something monumental and massive over all the years in the sight of God.
The bottom line to today’s post is this: We don’t know how much all our small breathless acts of love change — everything.
Let me warn you, this is not one of those “I have it all figured out and I’m on the other side of this situation” kind of posts. This is more of a “I am right here in the middle of a mess” kind of posts. Today, I am in smack dab in the middle of a season of transition. Honestly, it’s a big one. My job situation is in question and my housing situation is in question. The Lord has been opening doors for me in my writing and speaking and coaching. And I have also been in a hard season in my thought life where I have felt very tormented. So, in many ways I have not had the best year.
Transitions are tricky. They can be really good or really bad. They can come at the perfect time or at the not so perfect time. They can be for the better or for the worse. All year, I have had a sense that transition was coming and boy has it come. It’s all coming at once. I’m not really sure where this transition falls. It’s wrought with deadlines and unanswered questions and not a strong sense of direction.
There are not a ton of things I’m sure of right now, so I have determined to lean on what I do know. Maybe you’re in a transition too and needing to be reminded of truths that will never change.
God is good.
“The Lord is good to all, and His mercy is over all that He has made.’ Psalm 145:9
I know sometimes, I don’t want to hear that God is good because what I’m going through doesn’t feel good. This is when I try my best to ignore my emotions and what I can see in the natural. I try to focus on the things that don’t change. God’s goodness is at the top of that list. He is good. He just is. It is part of His nature. Everything flows out of that goodness. He promises to bring good out of the hardest and most confusing circumstances. He promises to work it out for our good. I may not know how He will accomplish this, but all I need to know is that He will.
God’s plans are good.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
Not everything that happens is good. That is what happens when we live in a broken world among broken people. Jesus never guaranteed that life would be painless, effortless or that only good things would happen to us. In fact, He gives us a heads up as to how much tribulation would actually come our way.
The heart of transitions is so multifaceted. Many of the areas where I find myself in transition are all contingent on something else. They are not simple in any way. But, I am grateful that the One who created the Heavens and the earth and me knows my future. He has already been there. He is there now. It blows my mind every time, but it’s true. His will is for us to rely on Him, follow His lead, fulfill His calling for us and be light to a dark world.
God is faithful.
“If we are faithless, He remains faithful— for He cannot deny himself.” 2 Timothy 2:13
This is one of my favorite verses! Like God’s goodness, His faithfulness is a part of His character. An aspect of this transition that causes me concern is wondering whether or not I will make the right decisions. I think for the most part, I hear from God clearly. But there are times like now, where I have no clear sense of direction. I don’t know what to do. That is a difficult place to be. I want everything planned out fifty steps in front of me, but that is not in any way how God works.
I tend to struggle with remembering His past faithfulness to me. In my mind, I think whatever is happening right now is the one thing He won’t be faithful in. I think I suffer from some sort of spiritual amnesia. Even then, He remains faithful.
I’ve been listening to Emily P. Freeman’s The Next Right Thing Podcast. It’s amazing! She speaks to those of us who are in transition and needing to make decisions. I don’t know about you, but I need all the help I can get.
All of us are either in transition, coming out out of one or heading into one. That is the rhythm of life. I want to do my best to glorify God and follow His leading in every transition that comes my way.
There is no grand revelation here, just basic reminders of where to set our gaze. I’ve found that I need to tune out the voices of the world and cultivate an ear to the God who whispers promises, purpose, provision and destiny over me.
If you are in a season of transition, I’d love to hear about it and pray for you!
About Karina Allen
Karina is a devoted follower of Jesus from New Orleans, Louisiana, but has made her home in Baton Rouge for the past 15 years. She spends much of her time leading worship at church, writing, reading, dancing and mentoring the next generation. She has a huge heart for serving and missions. She is an advocate for the local church especially the one that she attends, Healing Place Church. She also enjoys working out, traveling, photography and going to concerts/conferences.
Karina believes that every woman has a God-sized dream on the inside of them and it is up to an encouraging community to help nurture that dream. Her goal in writing is to see women get a revelation of God’s Word and discover how to apply it to their lives in order to walk in freedom and live the life that God intended. But the most important thing to her is to live out the call of Isaiah 26:8…For His Name and His Renown are the desire of our souls! You can connect with her at “For His Name and His Renown.”
Don’t. Don’t give up on the kid who won’t listen.
Don’t give up on a dream you’ve never accomplished.
Don’t give up on a hope that seems hopeless.
Don’t give up on the spouse that you think is too far gone for you to ever love.
Don’t give up searching out that great friend you’ve always longed for.
God sees all that you’re enduring. He knows the desires of your heart. He cares for each and every one of them.
And God loves you. I fear this sounds contrite, like wasted words and that somehow, like my daughter, you’ll respond: I know this already. Tell me something I don’t know. . .
But do you really know?
Jesus loving you and dying for you is the equivalent of him jumping in between you and an assault, pushing you out of harm’s way so he can take the blow, and entering a war that feels like a huge loss, all so that you can be lifted above it.
It is like him jumping into the scene of your life to fix it, permanently and eternally.
If he cared for you that much, doesn’t he still care for you that much — today?
Don’t give up: on Him, on you or on those around you.
To not give up means to keep going. It means to you can feel kind of icky, tired, or weary and worn, but you keep at it. Not working hard, or doing more, or pressing ahead, or sweating it out, but simply pursuing him with all your heart. It’s keeping your time intact with him who is love. It’s not letting life encroach on his territory.
This is not giving up.
Getting his love gives hearts new air to breathe, room to move, and a helping hand up.
Our high aim and our lifting hand always is Him.
“Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn.” (Ps. 37:4-6)
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Karina