I scroll through my phone and stare at another Christmas party post.
Smiling faces beam back at me as I rock my sleeping babe and wish mine was wedged between them. Praying she won’t wake, I dance to my daughter’s crib and put her down as softly as possible.
Immediately, she cries. Breathing deep, I stand there a moment with a small glimmer of hope that she’ll calm.
She doesn’t.
This was my life a year ago. It was my first holiday season with a baby girl I desired for years. I remember fighting tears and thinking about the irony of it all. I’d waited months for this time and now all I wanted was sleep. I’d felt her kick in my belly and longed to see her face, and then wondered how such a tiny thing could scream with such force.
Before leaving the hospital, the nurse told us not to bring her into crowds for a month.
Have you ever been there? Believing in your heart that God cares for you, but still experiencing those moments when your mind runs amuck with stressful thoughts and scenes that play out in your mind prompting fear.
Try as you might, you can’t stop the rat wheel of fearful thoughts from spinning in your mind. You know the command to “fear not,” but how?
1) Recognize where the fear originates.
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12-13).
So we must put on the armor of God, the tools in your tool belt if you will, to fight against the real enemy.
2) Be alert.
“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8)
3) Our enemy attacks us in our thoughts, so we must take our thoughts captive.
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)
But practically speaking, how do we do that?
First spend time learning what His word says, and meditating upon it.
4) Stand on key scripture and the promises in His word that refute the lies of the enemy.
Write Scripture on notes and place them where you will see them: the bathroom mirror, dashboard, etc. and when you see them, read them aloud because, “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God” (Romans 10:17).
If you are plagued with fear, start with:
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7KJV)
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” (Psalm 56:3 NIV)
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9 NIV)
5) Pray Scripture back to God. One of the most beneficial prayers you can pray is one that incorporates His word. “So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11).
6) Recognize those fearful thoughts are not your thoughts but come to you from the enemy. Our emotions are the outward manifestations of the thoughts we believe. So when we feel anxious, it’s because we’ve been believing thoughts that make us feel anxious. So instead of acting on our feelings, speak out against the thoughts that agree with those feelings. Refute them and speak back to them.
For example, if you start feeling anxious, say something out loud like, “No! I will not be afraid! I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. God says to cast all my cares on Him because HE cares for me. Instead of being afraid, I will put my trust in God.” If you do this enough, your feelings will begin to line up with what you are speaking.
Try this instead and let me know how much better you feel because I guarantee you will!
Because of Him, Hope Prevails!
Dr. Michelle Bengtson (PhD, Nova Southeastern University) is an international speaker, and the author of best-selling “Hope Prevails: Insights From a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” and the newly released companion “Hope Prevails Bible Study.” She has been a neuropsychologist for more than twenty years. She is in private practice in Southlake, Texas where she evaluates, diagnoses, and treats children and adults with a variety of medical and mental health disorders. She knows pain and despair firsthand and combines her professional expertise and personal experience with her faith to address issues surrounding medical and mental disorders, both for those who suffer and for those who care for them. She offers sound practical tools, affirms worth, and encourages faith. Dr. Bengtson offers hope as a key to unlock joy and relief—even in the middle of the storm. She and her husband of 30 years have two teenage sons, and reside in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. She blogs regularly on her own site: http://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com
I faced a hard decision. Maybe you’re up against one today. Maybe your trying to decide whether to confess that spending spree to your husband. Or whether to talk to your son about his recent behavior. Or whether to admit you really were wrong and shouldn’t have acted that way.
We all stand up against hard decisions. Brick walls threatening to topple us, tugging and harassing us. Words that need spoken nipping at our heels, until we address them.
My particular decision was no fun. I believed God wanted it, but did I? My flesh didn’t. I know that. My flesh felt like taking the easy road of no issues, keeping everyone happy and not rocking the boat.
My flesh stalled making the decision for weeks, rationalizing every reason why I couldn’t do it. But one day, I felt God tug on my heart, “Today is the day, Kelly.”
Essentially, I responded back, “But no one will understand, God.”
“Kelly, since when do people need to understand?”
“”For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.” Isaiah 55:8
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Gal. 1:10
Did people understand when Noah built an ark? No.
Did they understand when Jesus said He would have to go to the cross and die? No.
How about when Jesus confounded the wise and astounded the religious? No.
Did they understand why God or the angels didn’t save Jesus from that cross? No.
Often, when we move on God’s “right,” people won’t understand. They may even say it’s wrong. Inevitably, at times, we’ll be misunderstood. And even talked about. The thought is painful right?
But Jesus never came to earth to guarantee man’s acceptance. He didn’t come to earth so we’d be fully loved, known, understood and adored by all. He came to earth so we could be accepted into Christ’s family. This is enough.
It’s the reason we can walk by faith, not sight of everything that looks confusing, doubt-filled, rocky, questionable, or uncertain. It’s the reason we’re okay after everything is said and done.
If we act on truth from the place of love, with a heart to love, inspired by Him who is love, in God’s eyes we can’t go wrong. Even if the whole world tells us we’re wrong. Why? Because God sees our heart and He says, “Love never fails.” 1 Cor. 13:8
What happened is, they never really thought that much of me.
It started early. Everyone doubted me. They didn’t really think I could.
Could what? It didn’t matter. It just mattered a whole lot what they thought. And what they didn’t I could as it pertained to my appearance, success, future and abilities.
I remember in high school, I got some votes for, “The Best Girl, All Around.” Because I happened to be helping count the votes, I considered the ramifications of cheating just a little… and writing my name on a couple extra vote slips. I wanted to win. I wanted that endorsement.
I didn’t do it. Thank God, I didn’t.
But the fact still remains that I wanted to. I wanted validation. Because somehow their votes of confidence were also mine. If they didn’t believe, how could I? How could I really believe I was good? How could I even try when no one ever thought much of me to begin with, or told me how to succeed, or gave me instructions on how to improve everything?
Today, at my son’s soccer game, I reflected back to decades ago when I was the 4-foot goalie. If someone scored on me, shame crawled my skin. It was as if I exposed my lack and everyone could see my nakedness.
“She won’t amount to much…”
“She can’t really…”
“What a waste…”
What have you heard? What have others made you believe about yourself?
There is this thing in the writing world. You are supposed to get endorsements for a book. It feels like accumulating votes.
“Kelly is the best girl, all around…”
“Kelly is wanted…”
“Kelly is worth it…”
“I believe in her, so you should too…”
But Jesus. Jesus didn’t care about votes of high and lofty words. He calls me to something different. To act a different way. He calls me to an attitude adjustment.
“Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mt. 20:26-28
The last go first with Jesus.
The servants are honored in spiritual realms.
The humble inherit the kingdom.
The pure in heart see God.
The low are high in God’s eyes.
The unseen are always seen from the Lord’s view.
The heart is paramount in all ways, at all times.
The neglected are tended to forevermore.
I don’t need to be seen by man. I just need to cultivate a pure heart and permit it to be seen to God. I don’t need accolades or people behind me. I just need God there, supporting me. I don’t need applause. I just need to know the heavens have my back. I don’t need more worth from votes, reviews or cheering crowds. I just need God’s love that fills my every hole of despair.
One bright Sunday morning, the pastor in our little old country church boldly proclaimed that we must each have a ministry. When I heard those words, I slumped down in my hardwood pew wrought so long ago from knotted oak. At that time, I was sick and mostly bedridden. I rarely left the house. I didn’t believe I could make a difference.
Fast forward a few years, and I recovered enough to spend several hours per week volunteering my time at a local Christian preschool. I wiped noses, zipped up coats, tied shoelaces, washed hands, and helped my young scholars scrawl the sideways, squiggly letters of their names.
Songs were a big part of our routine, and for months we rehearsed the words and hand motions to whimsical melodies about the resurrection, Jesus, and the Easter holiday. We prepared for the big event where parents and grandparents would come and snap photos and scoop these little ones into their arms, beaming with adoration.
For Lilly, that moment wouldn’t come.
Her mother had to work, and no relatives would be there. As a child, I remember gearing up to sing my heart out and scanning the crowd with no one familiar in sight. I saw Lilly searching, looking and growing more anxious as the seconds felt like an eternity.
One large tear pooled on her lower eyelid before spilling down her cheek, as she realized nobody was coming. The dam burst forth as that single tear escaped her baby blue eyes, and she began sobbing with abandon.
It was time to take her place with the other students, but with no one to sing for, she dissolved at my feet, unable to go on. Feeling every bit of that same devastation, I took her hand and resolved that we would do this together and that she would not be alone.
Amid flashing cameras, bustling chatter, bright lights, and childish banter, the pounding of my heart was louder than it all. I held that little hand and bid us both to be strong. And she sang, her tiny hand tightly gripping my three fingers.
I realized then that I had made a difference.
And you can do the same.
You are equipped with gifts and talents, and you can invest your treasures into the lives of others. Making a difference happens when we make a commitment to show up. We can do this by writing cards, posting words of encouragement on Facebook, composing blog posts, volunteering with V.B.S., the nursery, or in senior centers, youth groups, or by simply speaking grace into someone’s day with a phone call.
Making a difference is vital, as we point others to Christ and reflect His glory. We are the city on the hill. Together, we can do this thing better.
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Eph 2:10
Bio:
Rosa Hopkins is a writer of words, a singer of songs, and a dreamer of dreams. Her radio program, Mountain Heartbeat, airs on WEMM 107.9 in Huntington, WV, and her work has been featured in the Huffington Post and in print newspapers. She is also a recording artist, and her songs have been played on radio stations across the country. She lives in the woods of Appalachia with her husband, miracle baby, Jack Russell, and a shapeless hound named Lou.
Do you know what it is to stand up for your faith?
It’s like standing up for the kid getting taken advantage of on the playground, except the kid is you.
It’s like standing up in the court of law to speak justice, because you know it’s what needs to be done.
It’s like standing up at a sports game and cheering wildly because you have love for a team.
It’s like standing up full of sin, like the woman who committed adultery, and allowing Jesus to forgive you.
It’s like standing up against all the chatter of opposition to telling it to shut up and sit down.
It’s like standing up and putting your hands on your hips and saying, “That’s not what God says, so no way.”
It’s like standing up and speaking out God’s truths over the ample lies that surround you on the daily basis.
It’s like standing up and fighting, through prayer, for a sister going through a killer-of-a-hard time.
It’s like standing up and saying, “No, I will not lay down.”
It’s standing on the solid rock of Christ.
It’s knowing that that very rock is unmovable, unbreakable and unwavering.
It’s deciding in your heart that since Jesus was strong enough to bust out of the grave, He will be able to take you right out of your dark circumstances to move you into His light. This is standing strong.
Where do you need to stand strong?
Certainly, there is a time for mourning, crying and wrestling. There is a time. But then comes a day to say, “It is my day to bust out of this tomb of self-pity and dejection and to move into God’s light. It is time for me to stand up and say no more. No more will I be tossed like a boat of doubt, or on the waves of nauseousness or by the words of mankind. No more will I listen to the opinions of old replay or the questions of the enemy circulate. No more. Today is my standing up day. May standing up and moving out day.”
In what way do you need to stand?
“He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures.” 1 Cor. 15:4
Jesus had every right to count man’s offenses, bad words, religious spirits, hurting words, whips and mockings. He could have dwelt in that tomb of despair for a long, long time. He could have said, “Forget them, they did me wrong.” He could have let death come over us. But Jesus didn’t.
He stood up to the power of hell taking aim to bring the kingdom of God down. He stood. He stood up to take his seat at the right hand of God.
“When the Lord Jesus finished speaking to them, he was taken up into heaven. He sat down at the right hand of God.” Mark 16:19
God calls us to stand today. He calls us, today, to rise into his heavenly perspective. One that does not count the offenses of man, the injuries of yesterday, the tears we can’t move past, the people we can’t reckon with, the memories we can’t distance, the worries we can’t alleviate… certainly, all that is there. God knows it. We know it.
There it is. We’ve seen it. We’ve seen it every day, for a long, long time. But what if we chose to stand up and walk past it?
The choice is ours.
We can either give in to the weights of the world, or we can rise up and give it to the God who holds the weight of the world in His hands?
We can trust the resurrection life, Jesus. He is resurrection. In all ways. All the time. With all power.
Left out.
Not included.
Not wanted.
Not involved.
Not chosen.
Not asked.
Not included on the inside joke.
Not understood.
Not told.
Not invited to come.
No seat at the table.
Where have you been overlooked? Who has forgotten you? What memory still brings embarrassment to mind?
Recently, all I wanted was a seat at the table. But all I got was dead air. Nothing. There was no phone call, no acceptance, and no open door. I was blocked from where I wanted to be.
It’s happened countless times…
I was blocked in elementary school from being in the cool girls’ crowd. I was blocked by a childhood crush when he told me a lie so he didn’t have to be near me. I was blocked from friends when they gave me a quick hello and then gathered in a big circle, practically whispering, with me outside of it.
Blocked, blocked and blocked again. . .
Where are you blocked? Blocked from conversations with one you love? Blocked from being understood by people around you? Blocked from a gathering of women? Blocked from really getting to know others? Blocked from what you really want?
Where are you blocked and overcome with a deep sense of un-belonging?
May I tell you something today? You do belong. You belong even if every door is slammed in your face. You belong even if the words coming at you are daggers. You belong even if everyone hates you. You belong even if women have rejected you, repeatedly. You belong even if religious laws once said you didn’t. You belong even if voices of accusation tell you that you never will.
Let this fact sink in. You belong.
Jesus has gone and prepared a table for you. (Lu. 14:15-24) Jesus has gone and prepared a room for you in eternity. (Jo. 14:2) Jesus died for you, so you might be included in his forever family. You belong to him. As daughter, because HE CHOSE YOU. God wants you.
For those God wants, let them declare themselves unwanted. What a lie!
“And you belong to Christ; and Christ belongs to God.” 1 Cor. 3:23
No scheme, invitation, method, word or rejection leaves us outside the fold of God’s loving desire. He wants us and He will have us. We belong to God. We belong with Him. Anything besides this fact is a lie.
A couple of weeks ago, I panicked. After reading some random comments about God on a webpage, I suddenly got the sense I wasn’t good enough for God. I became stressed, thinking, “I needed to be the keeper of my faith.” I thought if I didn’t perform well enough for God, He wouldn’t want me. Or, if I didn’t do enough “make-God-happy” stuff, He wouldn’t bless me. It terrified me, shook me and got me thinking about his truth.
With the space of days, I began to see clearly from the woods.
Here, I noticed:
– God doesn’t speak like an accuser.
– Condemnation is not the sound of His voice.
– Conviction is his method, but truth spoken in love is always his manner.
Understanding these dynamics about God offered me a deep breath. And a baseline for the judgments and critiques coming against me. This was important because I desperately wanted to let in what was from God and let go of what wasn’t. We all want this, don’t we?
But how?
After much searching, I was left with one realization, described in 4-words: fear of the Lord.
I must have a healthy fear of the Lord. Not an unhealthy one.
An unhealthy “Fear of the Lord” thinks:
– God will get me and ruin me if I do bad.
– God has a heavenly taser ready to zap me.
– If I do good, God will be good to me.
– If I act like a bad girl, God will desert me and go on to the next girl.
– Doubt and complacency is okay because it keeps me from sinning and making Him angry.
– Father might take from me and give to the next girl if I keep making mistakes.
– My vulnerability with God opens me up to getting hurt.
– I need to panic and stinkin’ figure things out, ASAP.
Healthy fear of the Lord thinks:
To know God is better than life.
Allowing His Word to become my words restructures my life.
Contesting and detesting sin and its power to hold me back reenables my life.
To hope in the Lord and to believe Him at His Word re-energizes my life.
To trust in Him and to rest under His love renews my life.”The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life to avoid the snares of death.” Prov. 14:27
“He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.” Ps. 145:19
Everyday, I know I should at least fit a walk into my schedule. I should get my shoes on and move beyond the boundaries of my complacency, so I don’t:
– lose strength
– waste away
– gain unintended weight
– make my heart unhealthy
We all think about our physical health, at least sometimes. We take vitamins, make vegetables, drink water, take the stairs. Even if we aren’t so good at it, we normally think about it, or how to improve it. We know it is important to our vitality.
But how often do we consider our spiritual health? Our spiritual fitness?
So we don’t:
– lose strength in the Lord
– waste away, only to find ourselves one with the world
– gain unintended weight, or baggage, we are not meant to carry
– find our our heart unhealthy
Today, let’s stop for a moment and consider why our strength and fitness in the Lord is so important.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m running hard for the finish line. I’m giving it everything I’ve got. No sloppy living for me! I’m staying alert and in top condition. I’m not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself.” 1 Cor. 9:26-27 MSG
We want to be spiritually fit. But what does that mean?
I believe it means we:
Are led by the Spirit and not the flesh.
In the Spirit, we are strong. But if we’re driven by our own efforts, we quickly learn — we’re weak.
Follow Christ’s life, truth and ways.
“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Ps. 91:11
Be fishers of men.
When God calls us to cast our nets into risk, and we do, he often encourages our hearts to keep doing it. Here, we learn to be risk-takers instead of home-dwellers.
Fellowship with God, constantly.
In Christ, we come out of our weakness, stress and fears to find ourselves equipped and empowered by his grace.
Have a readiness to go.
The more we get our running shoes on, the easier it gets to move out the door.
Stand firm in our identity.
When we know who we are, it doesn’t work so well when the enemy tries to tell us we are someone else.
Seek purity.
When sin drops off of us through confession, we become more and more alive. We’re aware of the God who lives in us and all the promises he has for us. Rather than getting caught up in our shame, we become enamored with His name, Jesus.
Today, may you and I choose to walk in spiritual fitness.
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