Category - Contentment

Give. That’s what I do when I meet with people. They ask to meet. I link up with them. And, usually, then they ask me: 1. How to write and get published 2. How they can stop feeling afraid, held captive or stuck  3. How to start writing … Or, they just unload and tell me their whole-life story.

Rarely, do people ask about – me. Which I am okay with. On good days, I say to myself: God, it’s not all about me; it’s all about you. And, God, with beauty, shows up through me, for them. I love seeing Him work.

But, on this particular day, I felt tired. After having a couple of long-winded meetings with people who unloaded everything without any reciprocal questions, I felt like taking a break. So, when a random woman asked me for coffee I did some things that were COMPLETELY un-Christian author-like: I delayed our get-together a couple of weeks. Then, when she contacted me – I entirely ignored her text. Both the first one. And the second one, days later.

Then, she called.

And, before you know it, I was sitting in front of her on the patio of a coffee shop. Instinctually and internally, I was prepared to help her with all her needs, wants and dreams. I leaned in and said, “Tell me about you. . . ”

But, as we carried our conversation on…

It was as if she didn’t want anything from me. Shocking.
It was as if she was there just because God wanted her to be. Again. Shocking.
It was as if she wanted to see what God was up to. Kelly, prepare to be shocked.
I let down my guard and then shared a message God put on my heart of late: one of resting with Him.

She looked at me and said something like, “That’s it! That’s why God put you and I together. He told me this morning that I was supposed to give this bracelet to you.”

She took it off and slid it on my wrist.

And continued on, “In morse code it says on this bracelet the words ‘Be Still’.”

And boom! Right then and there, God broke the ice I didn’t even realize was surrounding my heart.

In a breakthrough moment, arrow-like messages hit my soul, saying:

Be still, Kelly. What morse-code messages I plan to send you, you can’t receive if you’re assuming.
Be still, Kelly. I see what is on your heart; I care for you also.
Be still, Kelly. It is not your work, but mine.
Be still, Kelly. I have a friend you’ve been looking for in this woman.

I easily could have ignored this meeting. In fact, I was positioned to do just that. I thank God I didn’t let assumptions ultimately get in the way. I would have lost so many laughs, a future prayer-partner and being with a woman of wisdom.

God, pour out a grace on me and the readers of this page. I ask that we not judge or assume things about people. If we hold our finger, like a log, in front of only one of our opened eyes, Father, we cannot fully see. This is what its like when we assume. From a limited vantage point, we speak limiting words and limit our future. Help us not to do this. Help us not to miss all the hidden morse-code messages you want our hearts to receive. Let not, fear and judgment hold us back from you, God. Our past does not predict how you are presently moving. Give us eyes to see. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor? (James 4:11-12)

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When I sat down on my porch, I looked up. A little spider connected to his web was hanging down a little bit over me.

Why harm him? He’s just sitting there. He looks dead, anyway…

I continued on with God, reading, “It is through faith that a righteous person has life.” (Romans 1:17)

I thought about groups of people who desperately try to earn God’s favor: through works, through trying to be enough and through focusing on all they are not, rather than focusing on who Christ has made them to be.

Maybe they aren’t really, saved.

No sooner did I think this, than I felt an itch on my back. Something crawling up my neck. I flew out of my chair! Looked up! The spider was gone. Now, he was crawling up my neck.

God nudged me: “Kelly, be careful what and who you judge. That’s the enemy’s grounds.”

He’s right. The enemy is master accuser. Jesus is Master Advocate.

God, where else have I judged?

You judge when you think:

• Maybe these people are not believers if they think ____.
• At least I am better off than her. I don’t ____.
• This person has nothing to offer me.
• I can forgive this person because “what they went through” in their past.  (As if I am in charge of deeming whether they’re worthy enough for forgiveness)

• I can’t forgive because ___ hasn’t (changed, said sorry, shown remorse, given me a good enough reason).
• This person will not be blessed because of how they are acting.
• If only they would ____, then ____.

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Lu. 6:37)

I don’t have to know it all to know that God is the only one in charge. God is the only heart-reader. God is the only knower of intentions. God is the only discerner of motives. God is the master and I am a girl – solely given responsibility for one thing, herself (and loving others).

When I get overly-focused on other people and what they’re doing, I get myself tangled up into a web that’s nearly impossible to get out of.

God, help me not to judge what I know nothing about. And, help me not size up what only you have a handle on. Give me eyes to see where I need you, more than where others are falling short. Give me eyes to cast aside thoughts that keep me from understanding your grace, love and mercy. Help me to love others as you do. Help me to see the best in them, rather than their lack. Pour out grace on my judgment. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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My mom was visiting from another state. Because of this, I had the whole day planned out. We’d take bike rides (she loves biking), via the scenic route and then stop off at a waterside hotel. The day would be perfect, or so I thought…

Finally, the special day arrived. Mom and I sat down at the waterfront restaurant. Although we only had a limited amount of time to eat, because she was flying out soon, we thought we could make the restaurant work.

The waitress approached and, in summary, said, “It is an issue you all are here. We don’t open until later. I could see if they could get you some food, but you really have to tell me what it is you want. What sandwiches would you want?”

We told her the options we were interested in.

“What about something less difficult? A salad?”

We gave her a few more options.

She went on, “I really need to know what you want because it is going to take me about 10 minutes to walk up three flights of stairs to get an answer from the chefs on this. And they just finished up making breakfast. And they may need to know which things you want so we can figure out what you can have and what you can’t.”

With every unleashed detail of her backstory, the more I felt like a burden. I wish we weren’t here. Maybe we should just go. She seems frustrated. I don’t want to cause an issue.

Yet, as she continued on…I started to think of how I often am just like her. If I have a hard day, I tend to tell my husband the hundred and one things that led up to it. If I’m talking with a friend and want to share an issue, I also convey the nitty gritty annoyances that were included in it, even if it takes a while to convey.

Yet, I don’t believe grace talks like the waitress or I tend do. Grace doesn’t unleash every negative line, every belabored detail, every issue, every complaint, every trauma. Grace considers the ear of the listener. It is a blessing to the hearer, rather than a drain on them.

This doesn’t mean that the tough-stuff didn’t happen (the 3 flights of stairs, the 10-minute walk, the little hiccups during the day); it means love chooses to leave the person feeling built-up, rather than bummed-out after the talk.

How? You ask yourself 3 things before you talk:

1. Will it profit the listener if I speak this?

2. Would Jesus talk like this?

3. Do my words honor God?

I don’t point out the waitress to judge her, but to learn a little bit more of how I act myself. I’m learning: Words of grace often don’t include every painful detail. They get to the heart of the story in a way that still honors and uplifts the listener, at almost all costs.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” – Eph. 4:29

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If Jesus was to write a note to you, here is what I think He might say:

It was a hard fight, but well worth it. I have you now. To pay the price for you, was my honor. To go those lengths for you, was important to me. To not give up on you, is actually part of my DNA. I don’t give up on daughters. I don’t forsake those I love. I can’t.

And, I never will. This is why, I want you to know, dear daughter, that you can trust my promises. I did not make them to break them. I did not come to earth and say things to never follow through.

“God is not a man, that He should lie…” (Nu. 23:19)

My character is not disappointment, abandonment or rejection. If you’re living those things, can I tell you something? That is not of me. If it is not “of me” why are you carrying it?

You can give those things to me right now and banish them in you. Just as I absorbed every nail, I can absorb your every pain, trauma or feeling that has captured you for far too long. I’ll take it all for you. My body was broken, so that your’s might find healing.

“And by (my) stripes[c]  (you are) healed.” (Is. 53:5)

I carried what you were never meant to carry, so that you might live life abundantly.

“I have come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (Jo. 10:10)

Can you see? What I have for you?

I really am as good as you hope I am. You don’t have to be scared that I am not as good as you wish I am. Or, act pious so that you can finally feel like you’ve earned or warranted attention, accolades or affirmation. This is not the way of love. This is the way of conditional love. That is not of me.

I have unconditionally laid down my life so that you, as a child of God, could unconditionally rest in my gift of grace.  If you’ve never done that before, today is your day. Come and hear more about who I really am.

I wait for you…

Love,

Jesus

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May the words I believe Father God would love to speak to you — may they unshake the deep places of your heart and speak life to you (don’t miss all the verses at the end of it too) …

Dear child,

You are mine. Always. From the very beginning, you were mine. Before I fashioned the earth, you were mine. I thought of you. knew you then and I know you now. I take delight to think of you. I get excited when you want to draw near to me. I find pleasure in your presence with me. I am not afraid of your realities. Nor do I want to run away from them or tell you that, when you bear them, they are too much. I find interest in your interests.

Who do you think I am?

I always have your best in mind. Being over it all, I see it all, know it all and handle it all. Even what you can’t understand, will one day come to light before your eyes. Then, you’ll understand. Then, it will all make sense. You will come to see I am good.

Did you know, you can choose to trust that now?

It brings me pleasure when you do. It pleases me when you trust me by choice. When, in uncertainty, you ask your questions. When you follow me, even though you don’t know, really, where you are going. I am not thrown off when you are thrown off. I am not distant because you’ve been. I won’t ditch you because you haven’t done everything – just right. I am better than that.

Do you know who I AM?

Receive my grace in a time of need. Accept my hand of help. Trust that when you are weak I am strong.

I always believe in you. Because I see Christ in you. His goodness is my righteousness. I put that inside of you.

Do you realize what this means?

Who can stand against you, when Christ is in you? What can topple you when the light of the world is your core? Dwell on these kinds of things and you will find strength. Consider me, empowering you and you will become strong.

I know, at times, the going has been tough. It was that way for Jesus too. But, just as He didn’t give up, don’t you give up either.

Love,
Your daddy…who cares so much more than you know.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” (Jer. 1:5)

“The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zeph 3:17)

“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Heb. 4:16)

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” (Gal. 2:20)

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Any dream, devoid of Jesus, becomes a nightmare. Any effort, apart from what God inspires, becomes self-defeating work. Any accomplishment, no matter how great it looks, done by performance leaves you fearful, desperately afraid you may fall flat in the future.

I was struck by these thoughts as I read singer Michael Buble’s words in this article:

‘I realised that for many years I couldn’t believe I was on the same stage as my heroes, that I was sharing a microphone with Tony Bennett or [Canadian pianist and singer] Diana Krall. I couldn’t believe I was looking across at someone like Paul McCartney, and I’d be saying things like, “It’s hard to get here, but my God it’s harder to stay here.” 

‘But then I woke up and thought, “After ten years of trying to get here and five years of being scared it would go away, I think I can enjoy it.”’

There were people in my business life saying, “If you hadn’t done this or that, or you’d written a better song, tickets might be selling quicker.”

‘I started to take all that on board.”

“Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.” (Ps. 127:1)

In some ways, I think I’ve subscribed to wanting to be successful. To maintaining an image. To vanity.

I perform. I feel the need to do things better than last time. I sometimes incline to impressing people to be accepted. I try to make people happy so as not to let them down. I go back and count up the things I could have done better.

But, at what cost?

Who am I performing for?

“And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” (Mt. 16:26)

There’s no real gain without God.

And so, this gives my heart space today. Space to reconcile with God. Space to hear Him. Space to let go. Space to ask for discernment as to the next steps. Space to just “be”. Space to know him more. Space to realize that once you hit one plateau you feel an obligation to get to the next one. Space to be honest about my motives. Space to uncover God’s heart in me. Space to not be afraid of what it is God is calling me to. Space to become free. Space to be me. Space to grow. Space to uncover. Space to breathe.

What is God calling you to? Where do you feel an obligation to perform, to put on a show or to prove to man you are worthy? Might you consider giving yourself some space to find God’s love between your fast-paced steps of fear?

He wants to talk with you; I’m sure of it.

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