Category - Contentment

I sat on the curb after practice, wondering, “Is mom ever going to come?” It was a particularly hard high school year. For one, my nose got hit with a field hockey stick. Even today, it sits a little crooked. And on this particular day, after all those sprints, shooting pains shot up my legs. I could hardly sit. Every position was agony. So with my teammates long gone, I moaned. Then, I replayed everything: the shots I didn’t make, the girls that were faster than me, and how I must have looked downright stupid.

Five minutes turned into twenty. Would she ever come?

Times of waiting are battles – the sense of “not knowing” compounds everything. Here, we tend to think, “If she isn’t there for me, God won’t be there either. I’m unworthy. I’ll be left behind. I brought on this problem. I’m stuck. Bound to fail. Surely, I’ll make a fool of myself again.”

I find it is here that old injuries, gut-wrenching feelings of abandonment, and age-old failures come back to attack. They often rob our faith.

Yet, I can’t help but wonder: If waiting times aren’t uncommon to Biblical men and women, why do I think they’ll be uncommon to me?

I mean, Sarah waited decades to have a baby. Blind people waited what probably felt like forever to be healed by Jesus. Mary waited while Jesus grew up. The other Mary waited for her brother Lazarus to get healed. Moses waited to get out of Egypt. Jesus waited decades to start His ministry, then about three years to die on the cross to defeat death.

Even in the worldly sense, waiting times have value. A delayed inheritance makes a son wise. A pregnant mother gives nine months time for the baby to grow. A toddler girl learns to swim before jumping in the deep end.

What if our times of waiting aren’t meant to torture us, but to grow us? And to prepare us for a greater land ahead?

“The land you are entering to take over is not like the land of Egypt, from which you have come, where you planted your seed and irrigated it by foot as in a vegetable garden… It is a land the Lord your God cares for; the eyes of the Lord your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to its end.” (Deuteronomy 11:10, 12, NIV)

The new land has new terrain. New obstacles. New preparation is needed for that place.

Consider, if you want to adventure through new terrain, you must prepare for it. If you’re traveling over rocky ground, you need the right wheels. Perhaps an SUV. If you are climbing a new mountain, you need to have a harness and one you trust. Waiting gives us time to prepare to go to the places God has planned for us.

We can wait well. Here are few ways to do just that:

1. Remember the cross.

Encourage yourself by saying, “Jesus’ sacrifice fully covers me and now protects me from any assaulting words of the enemy. Even if I don’t do things perfectly, through the sacrifice of Christ, I am hidden in Christ.”

1. Reconsider who you are.

Think, “I am a daughter of the most-High King. He knows how to take care of me.”

1. Reestablish who God is.

Say, “God is on my side. He will pull through for me, help me and rescue me. I can trust Him.”

1. Remind yourself: Waiting ground is faith-proving ground.

Choose to delight in and dwell on the little blessings God gives day-to-day.

1. Reflect on the learnings.

Encourage yourself by saying, “God, teach me what I need to know through this time of wait, so I can grow in faith.”

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As I sat there, I noted, before he began to play he turned. One-by-one, he strummed each string. Why? He was tuning his instrument. He wanted to make sure every chord sounded right. So, he tested them again and again. . .

“Who can discern his own errors? Cleanse me from my hidden faults.” (Ps. 19:12)

Just as this man took the time to ensure his overall melody was not off, so too should we evaluate the strings of our faith.

Are you living in-tune to God or out-of-tune? In line with His fullness or a little off-track?

Let’s test your strings. . .

Do you hear the voice of love or condemnation?

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Ro. 8:1)

Are you feeling full of the Spirit or full of fear?

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” (2 Tim. 1:7)

Are you trusting God by faith or are you striving, by works?

“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast.” (Eph. 2:8-9)

If you are out of tune today, don’t start berating yourself or hating yourself. It is as simple as tuning the string; simply adjust course. Repent of what was and move into what’s new.

These small-adjustments will help you to play a whole new song over your life.

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From the second I went on the airplane, I was sure that God was up to something. What? Only time would tell. . .

Squeezing in between a woman and her aisle seat, I sat down in the middle row, next to a man with glasses, who was eager to talk.

“What do you do?” He inquired of me.

“I write books. Christian books.” I said. Then, I inquired, “How is your relationship with God?”

He explained that it had hit some hiccups since his wife “did what she did.” I could see the anger in his eyes. It was almost as if, I knew, he had ‘a right’ to be angry with her.  He went on to tell me that ‘what she did in a moment had a lifetime of consequences’. They’d now been divorced for years.

We continued to talk . . . He longed for a woman. He felt alone. This season was — hard.

Yet, the more we sat there, the more something in me said — he still loves ‘her’. He deeply loves her.

I asked him, “Could you ever forgive her?”

He said, “For that?  I still believe in God, but I can NOT forgive her.”

He seemed furious. Even so, I encouraged him to forgive. I covered points, like:

– “Unforgiveness will never hurt her more, but only you.”
– “What anger and bitterness you leave in you — grows.”
– “Unforgiveness is like a bad seed — you can’t expect it to grow good stuff.”
– “Forgiveness will be your freedom — if you let it be. . .”

Oh friends, you all don’t know how badly I wanted him to forgive her. . . .Somehow, I imagined that they might even be able to get back together. Somehow, I knew what he wanted was on the other side of saying, “I forgive her. God help me to let this go.”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, (forgive) not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Mt. 18:22)

But, he looked at me flatly and said, “I just can’t. I just am not ready.”

While I respected His desire, I felt like sinking down into my seat. . . If only he knew. . . 

He could be free of his anger. He could move on. He could begin to have deeper relationships. He could. . . At the same time, God is a respecter of free-will, be it towards freedom or bondage, life or death. Sadly, this man wanted to keep his anger. Not left with many other options, I encouraged him to “think about what I had said and to accept God’s grace for the timing of forgiveness. . .”

Even so, I went home thinking about you. Are you choosing to walk in freedom or bondage? I know people have offended you, taken advantage of you, spoken about you, retaliated, been obnoxious around you, stolen from you. . . and done so many other things towards you. With this, I wonder, which are you choosing — freedom or bondage?

You know, this man excused away forgiveness saying, “I don’t think about her. I pretend it is not there.”

That doesn’t work. There are many things that don’t work.  Only forgiveness frees us. The rest of it puts us in greater bondage.

“And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” (Eph. 4:26-27)

Friend — big or small, years ago or ‘it just happened’, forgotten about or not — please — let it go to Jesus, now. You will be better for it.

Prayer: God, I have feelings about what this person has done to me. They have (insert their injury here). . . I do feel upset, hurt or (insert your feelings here). However, God, I don’t want to live my life being enslaved to judging, critiquing, retaliating or injuring them. I want You to fight this battle. You are the ultimate Justice-Bringer and Healer. With this, I release them from my heart. I let them go to you. I forgive (insert name) and I ask you to bless them. Please pour out the grace they and I so desperately need right now. Thank you that as forgiveness goes forth, new vision comes in. Help me to see more of you, God?

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While scrolling through the “prayer request” emails, I sulked to my son Friday morning, saying, “I can’t reply to all everyone by email and this is hard for me. I so want to. I have so much to write to each one of them, but there are so many. . . ”

He replied, “Tell them how much you wish you could have written each of them. . .Let them know how much you care. ”

So, today I want you to — hear my heart. First, the weight of what so many of you face? Either big or small, it made me wish I could reach through the computer screen, pull you in my arms and just hold you, close. Second, I pray you know how much I care. You see, I could have written long paragraphs to each of you.  Your stories hurt my insides, and your plights broke my heart and your desire for God to be with you was everything.

I prayed for each of you — by name. I asked God for breakthrough — for husbands, sons, daughters, your future, your insides, for salvation, for jobs, for feelings, for futures, for your situation, for healing, and for your faith with your God — a grand rescue. I expect great answers and moves. God is faithful.

Some of you even wrote to me, “Kelly, I never ask for prayer. . . .“, “I really needed prayer, but I didn’t realize it” or you simply told me that you feel “alone”.

I want you to know today: you are NOT alone. If you had read what I read — all those prayer requests — you would see loads of other ladies struggling with similar struggles: hope-deferred, inner-pain, loss, grief, anger, betrayal, rejection, financial issues, family problems, salvation needs and more. . . Your heart would break for them too.

May I tell you? We need each other. 

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (Ja. 5:16)

Our healing is in coming together; more than it is in worrying apart, in separate worlds.

I am praying for ways to unite us in prayer.

Beyond this, in regards to your prayer request, please know:

Our God is a God of breakthrough. Believe!!!  He has saved me from an eating disorder. He has saved me from debt. He has saved me from loans I needed to pay. He has saved people around me. He has broken the tides of depression. He has deterred people who wanted to hurt me. He has allowed me to get a job when it seemed impossible. He has made what sin I couldn’t break, gone. He has changed people around me. He has brought me closer to my husband. He has answered my prayers time and time again. He has given me new vision. He has restored me from discouragement.  He has turned things radically-around!

God is faithful to move. He hears us. And, prayer is effective; it works.

May I remind you? Your Rescuer, Redeemer, and Restorer is not asleep; He is on your cause. God is on your side. He knows your time. He sees your way. He has you in the palm of His hand.   He hears your requests, that line up with His heart. He knows your way.

With this, I stand in the gap with you today. I raise your arms. I expect answers. I won’t relent in asking for you. Even now, I ask again, “Father, hear our every prayer.”

As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” (Ro. 10:11)

The key is: Don’t give up. Pray unceasingly. And let the God of all God’s guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Beyond this, please pray for your other sisters who read my emails; they need you more than you know! Think about the collective power of all our prayers lifted up for each other. . .  And, to wrap this all up — as breakthrough happens — please let me know.

I love you.

My prayer: ” May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Ro. 15:13) May He rush into your cause, and resurrect life, where there appears death. May you know that you are not alone. May your soul thrive under the goodness of His love. May you walk in His light, with all clarity. May you be filled with His Spirit in fresh ways that revive your heart. May you see the God of All Rescues come in and — change everything. May the God-of-Turnaround light your day, today. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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