mercy Archives - Purposeful Faith

Be Kind to Yourself

January 13, 2022

Frankly, I wanted to bust out out of the gate this year! I will exercise every morning – perhaps run 2-miles/day. I will connect more with the kids and do all the special projects on their hearts! I will eat healthier.

Then reality hit. This week, I missed all my work outs, I didn’t do any projects with my son, and yesterday, I had chips for breakfast.

What do we do when we meant to do good — but, didn’t?

It’s easy to get discouraged when we fail. Or, demotivated at our lack of follow through. Here, we may wonder, “Is God less impressed with me?”

We’ve probably all had moments like this.

But, the real question isn’t — where are we and why are we doing this? The real question is: how do we get back up again?

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mt. 22:39 ESV)

Jesus tells us here, we don’t only love others, we must first show love towards ourselves. How can one give what they don’t own? How can one impart a gift that doesn’t belong to them?

Loving ourselves is integral to loving others well. We receive love to give it.

Love is first kind to its own heart.
Love is patient in its own progress.
Love is full of grace as it learns how to work and when things don’t go exactly right.
Love is able to let go of yesterday for a better today.

Love starts in us.

“Love is patient, love is kind…it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Cor. 13:4, 5 NIV)

Do you extend yourself patience or do you demand you be improved right now!? Are you kind to yourself in your mind or do you berate yourself all the time? Are you constantly analyzing what you did wrong or do you let go of the records of wrongs you hold against yourself?

More than the arrival at a given-destination is our growth as we go along our journey with God. Be kind, as Jesus would be kind to you. Be patient, as God is. Be consoling, as the Spirit would have you be. Indeed there is always a growth opportunity — we all have those — but the greatest of all things is: love.

Today, how can you think lovingly towards yourself?

Prayer: Father God, you are love. You are loving, patient, kind, and compassionate towards us. Empower us this very day to be this way towards ourself. We need your equipping and enablement to do this. We rely on you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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How Saved We Are, In Christ

October 1, 2019

purposefulfaith

awe, blessings, Contentment, mercy, surrender

10 Comments

It is easy to forget how far we’ve come.

This is normal. It’s like after you get a few cavities filled and a root canal done — 3 years later you forget it even happened. Life is back to normal and you hardly think about how glad you are that all of that was accomplished and finished. And, how easy it is to chew now.

Likewise, it is easy to forget about Jesus the same way. It is easy to forget HOW MUCH He has done for us. HOW MUCH He has saved us from. HOW MUCH He has accomplished. It is not that we don’t love Him or have faith in Him, but, at times, we take for granted HOW MUCH He rescued us and how far we’ve come.

Do you realize, it’s as if we made it “in” to His family by the skin of our teeth?

We didn’t bring anything. . .

We didn’t prove anything. . .

It was simply because God chose to become flesh. . . to accomplish the greatest mission ever. . .

If it weren’t for Jesus what would happen to us and our sin???

If we never faced-God, what we would we have faced?

But, Jesus. He came, like a rescuing-Savior and jerked us out of our position of distress, unrest and stress. He came, and lifted us out of our pit. He came, and walked us across His bridge of life — so that we could be with Him, forever.

Like a damsel in distress — He saved us.

But, Jesus. But, only, Jesus. Jesus came and changed everything. He made me alive with Him (Col. 2:10), free from the power of death (Romans 8:2), a joint-heir, a chosen daughter, a beloved treasure, a kept kid, a wanted person, and best of all he wiped the face-of-my-everlasting transgressions, clean.

Oh, may I never forget!

Jesus has not only saved me, but He has improved me. Grown me. Changed me. Made me. Helped me. Answered me. Lifted me. Removed an eating disorder from me. Rescued me dozens of times. Given me wisdom beyond understanding. Healed me emotionally and physically. . . (the list doesn’t end).

I am nicer now. I am kinder. I am gentler. I am more-so filled with joy. I am filled with new perspective.

What about you? What has He saved you from and brought you to? What life circumstance is radically different now that He is in your life?

What sort of epic-save did Jesus conduct on your behalf? The King of resurrection-life does not enter a life without resurrecting life. The Glory of God does not transform a heart and leave it the same.

Look deep and you’ll find His fingerprints on your heart, on your life and on your soul — even if you once missed seeing them. Even if today they look small…

The Two Responses:

Do you know Jesus? If not. . .

Outloud, through your words, invite the King of Kings into your heart. Tell Him that you want your life to be resurrected through Him, by Him and for Him. Tell Him you are sorry for your mistakes, botch-ups and issues. Ask Him for forgiveness and His help. Thank Him today for becoming the Savior of your Life. Explain to Him that you want to hand your life over so that His life can become yours.

“If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Ro. 10:9)

Then, rejoice! You are saved (helped, equipped, taught, forever-with-Jesus, eternally His…). You get to be forever, with Him. Forever, in His love. My encouragement to you? Grab His Word (the bible), get in a strong Christ-focused church and walk into all the fullness God has for you.

Do you know Jesus?

Rejoice. Undoubtedly, there are things that Jesus has done for you that you “know”, no one else could have ever done for you. There are strides, there are lessons, there are answers, there are miracles, there are areas of growth — only He could have done for you. There is relief only He could have brought. Give thanks. Give praise. Give honor, where honor is due.

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When You Hate What God Gave

July 10, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment, control, doubt, faith, fear, hope, Jesus, mercy, trials

1 Comment

My 3-year old daughter and I were playing a game. She was behind a box “counter”, I stood in front of it: ordering. I was supposed to buy some food, because, this was a restaurant.

I told her I wanted a salad and ice-cream. Trying to be good, but wanting to indulge, this was my kind of order. Add a chocolate dip to the ice cream and this is what summers are made of. I digress…

Anyway, daughter fixed up my food, looked me in the eye, while handing over my imaginary goodies, and declared “Now, you get what you get and you don’t get upset.”

My jaw dropped. She nailed it.

So many of us internally chide our self with this same kind of diatribe, as if God says this to us. As if this is how we are supposed to cope with life. As if, we are meant to get a crumb and tell our stomach to feel okay with it. Now don’t get upset!!!

Surely, I know this verse: “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” (Phil. 4:12)

Yet, somehow I think we’ve got it all wrong. God never told us to lie.

Yet, we’re convinced we must show the world we are strong, we tell our self, “We get what we get and we don’t get upset.”

Outside we look like a gracious kid at a candy shop, while inside we are throwing a fit like an irate toddler because we’re unseen by the world, unrecognized for who we are and uncared for.

I notice Paul, in the verse above, mentions the words, “I have learned. . .” Why are we ashamed of learning? Of journeying? Of admitting we feel the struggle?

So often, we already can sense when this is the case with someone. Why do we hide so?

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” (2 Cor. 3:18).

Today, consider this: In the light of God’s glory, there is no shame in transforming.

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“Jesus, Show Me What You See….”

June 1, 2017

Jami Amerine

mercy

3 Comments

https://www.purposefulfaith.com/jesus-show-see/

Post By: Jami Amerine

The truth was, everything being divulged was an outright lie.

My stomach churned.

My gut cramped.

A burning sensation rose in my throat, beads of sweat pooled on my forehead as I willed bile back down.

Nausea swirled about me as if intentionally together, we spun miserably about a ballroom…naked.

Exposed.

I was hurt to my core.

Utterly undone, the feedback stung my ears. The story being relayed to me, a story this person heard from my friend… my Christian friend was a lie.

I managed to behave as though the incident were laughable. I changed the subject and then explained I had to be on my way.

The informant substituted concern, “I just knew you would want to hear it from me instead of someone else, don’t worry, I won’t repeat it.”

I tried not to guffaw audibly. She’d already repeated it to four or five others, who I knew – knew, and now I knew they knew for sure because of their delicate treatment of me just hours before… I knew for sure.

I knew better than to trust… but, still was this really my fault? Really? Was I, the victim of a malicious lie, by someone I counted a friend, the one to blame?

Certainly, I felt like a fool. Alone in my car, I wept… er, well… snot flinging hysterically wailed. I was humiliated. I checked the date. Indeed, 2016… the circumstances had me briefly fooled to believe it was in fact 1986 and the last day of junior high.

Okay, I am a creative gal. I plotted my nemesis’ demise.

I pulled through Starbucks and ordered something hot and decadent. I knew stuff about this wretched “friend.” An eye for and eye I thought. And the tales I would tell would be the truth.

Why did she make up such a terrible story about me?

What made her feel the need to betray me?

I plotted and toiled.

I pulled my car into an empty place at the park, pulled my sweater from the back seat, grabbed my magic Java and decided to walk. I had about 45 minutes until the afternoon rush. I wanted to empty my head and pray.

The crisp March air borrowed only hints of warmer days to come. I walked slowly and observed little buds forming on the trees. Soon they’d expose entire blooms, for now there was only the hope that a late freeze wouldn’t destroy the mystic.

Tears nipped my eyes again.

Part of me wanted confrontation, the other part of me wanted to disappear.

I stopped and sat down on a bench and prayed.

“I am so hurt. So, embarrassed. So, angry. What should I do?”

There was no audible answer. And I didn’t want to rehash the story to my husband or tell it to another friend. I knew it was wrong, I didn’t need that affirmation.

I waited.

Somewhere on the breeze, I heard my answer.

Nothing.

I inhaled deeply and prayed a prayer that was not my own.

“Jesus, show me what you see.”

Suddenly, I was bowled over with compassion. Immediately my lungs filled without ache. Instantly I felt a rush of love and understanding.

I saw what He saw.

Tears bubbled up again, but I wasn’t angry. I wasn’t even sad. I was flooded with a wisdom that what I thought was a friendship was not. I came to terms with that undoing in a supernatural way. However, I didn’t believe this betrayer to be my enemy either?

I knew the truth.

My God knew the truth. He loved her, and He wanted better things for her than juvenile lies that hurt me. He was altogether for me… and yes, for her. For her, He wanted her to live in the freedom of His abundance. She was trying to make things happen, a busy-ness I was once a party to. And as I sat and sipped my Mocha, He sat with me and offered me comfort and ask me to pray… and to let this one go.

I agreed, I would.

Sporadically, over the next couple months, the hurt would sneak up on me. There was no way she didn’t know I knew. It was awkward, but I was obedient to the agreement. I let it go. On occasion, it came up with a group of friends, I quickly changed the subject. And it is not as if I am better than, I am just His. I want what He wants and He wants restoration, peace, joy, and life abundant.

This scenario is not always the answer, but in this incident, I was in perfect sync with what Jesus wanted for this person and me. Letting Jesus be Jesus was the most healing medicine for my hurt. Later that summer she and her family moved and I have never seen or heard from her again. Yet I feel no lack of closure. I need not retribution or malice. I want God’s will and His will is always Jesus.

Since that day in the park, my chosen prayer is simply, “Jesus, show me what you see…” And I close my eyes and wait.

For there is nothing hidden that not be disclosed and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. Luke 8:17

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Jami Amerine is a wife, and mother to anywhere from 6-8 children. Jami and her husband Justin are active foster parents and advocates for foster care and adoption. Jami’s Sacred Ground Sticky Floors is fun, inspirational, and filled with utter lunacy with a dash of hope. Jami holds a degree in Family and Consumer Sciences (yes Home Ec.) and can cook you just about anything, but don’t ask her to sew. She also holds a Masters Degree in Education, Counseling, and Human Development. Her blog includes topics on marriage, children, babies, toddlers, learning disabilities, tweens, teens, college kids, adoption, foster care, Jesus, homeschooling, unschooling, dieting, not dieting, dieting again, chronic illness, stupid people, food allergies, and all things real life. You can find her blog at Sacred Ground Sticky Floors, follow her onFacebook or Twitter.

Feeling all the Feels…Riding the Wave

March 23, 2017

Jami Amerine

Contentment, Jesus, mercy

7 Comments

Post by: Jami Amerine

My week has been – ridiculous.

The list of life-altering changes include, a transitional end to our foster-love’s time in our home, the departure of our oldest son to Marine Bootcamp, our oldest daughter’s upcoming wedding, the release and launch of my book, potty training debacles, enormous new developments in my husband’s company, and the persistent comedic drama symptomatic of a household of nine.

On the evening after dropping our son at the Marine MEPS for his departure to San Diego, I couldn’t sleep. My nose was slammed shut, my eyes were swollen, my heart was aching, and about 1:45 am I sat on the couch in our loft, fully clothed, and let loose.

Ugly cry is not even close to a valid definition of the performance.

I am surprised, no entirely amazed that I had that much left in me. And I begged God for relief. Out loud, alone in the dark I whimpered-wailed my need for His help. Up until that moment, I had just rolled with the emotions. I’d been laughing at sweet memories, crying at the unknown, smiling at the thoughts of what was to come, and angry it went by too fast.

I couldn’t take anymore.

I needed some sleep.

I needed Him to stop the ride and let me get off… even if it was only for 5 hours. I pleaded, “Please Jesus, help me… please, I am so tired, I just need to…”

Just then, my phone rang with a caller I.D. from California.

It was 1:48 a.m.

Just as I’d been informed, I heard my son’s voice is a sea of other hollers;

“This is Marine Recruit… I have arrived safely… the next time you hear from me it will be by postage mail in 2 to three weeks. I love you. Goodbye.”

The scripted call I’d been told about at just that moment in the midst of heartbreak came, I can still hear him. He sounded tired, stressed, and… hungry. Whatever, I know him. That was his “I want a grilled cheese sandwich” voice.

And, I let loose a brand new emotion… gratitude. I remember I started my new brand of weeping about 1:49 a.m…

I remember nothing else until 7:00 a.m… when my alarm went off to wake the children. Fully clothed, jewelry, streaks of tear stained make-up, and my shoes – I was startled awake and painfully crooked.

Somewhat refreshed, with a perpetual lump in my throat I limped through packing lunches and fixing hair, the toddler sons said something delightful and I giggled. A tween left a wet towel on the bathroom floor and I grumbled. An email popped up from an old friend offering prayers and another tear escaped.

This rollercoaster of emotions is indicative of this life. The relief when I need it comes from my Jesus. The rest… the rest is a blessing. The release of tears celebrating, missing, wishing, and hoping for change or good – are part of the creation He fashioned. Not to punish or test me, but to give me release and a reminder of my design.

In the midst of that gift, when I was most in need, He answered. He sent a phone call, sure – it was due, but it came right when it was most needed… in the midst of my pleas. And then, He blessed me with unconsciousness and much-needed reprieve.

My emotions and nerves are on high alert. I am a compulsory explosion of sunshine and rain. I am hitting every single cylinder. And I am confident He who created me, will walk through this with me. He is for me. He came to bind my broken heart. He came to comfort, heal, and nurture. To grieve or rejoice, I am nearer to Him. He knows me and adores me.

In my weakness He is strong.

He is my rock and my fortress.

I will ride this wave, reveling in these reactions, delighting in this life, and I will not go down with the ship.

Psalm 89:9You rule the swelling of the sea; When its waves rise, You still them.

Jami Amerine is a wife, and mother to anywhere from 6-8 children. Jami and her husband Justin are active foster parents and advocates for foster care and adoption. Jami’s Sacred Ground Sticky Floors is fun, inspirational, and filled with utter lunacy with a dash of hope. Jami holds a degree in Family and Consumer Sciences (yes Home Ec.) and can cook you just about anything, but don’t ask her to sew. She also holds a Masters Degree in Education, Counseling, and Human Development. Her blog includes topics on marriage, children, babies, toddlers, learning disabilities, tweens, teens, college kids, adoption, foster care, Jesus, homeschooling, unschooling, dieting, not dieting, dieting again, chronic illness, stupid people, food allergies, and all things real life. You can find her blog at Sacred Ground Sticky Floors, follow her onFacebook or Twitter.

Mercy, Grace, and the Wall-Eyed Fit

February 16, 2017

Jami Amerine

doubt, grace, Jesus, mercy

2 Comments

Post by: Jami Amerine

Our foster-love has entered into the broad world of the wall-eyed fit.

We have epoxy-stained concrete floors in our house. It only took a couple times for her to rethink throwing her entire body weight onto the floor and screaming her head off.
It hurts, so the effectiveness of showing her frustration was overruled by the knot on her noggin.

Now, when she is frustrated she gently sits, then lies blithely on the floor… and then proceeds to throw a fit.

We cannot help but giggle as the drama of her tantrum is overridden by her cautious technique of getting to the pinnacle of the spectacle.

Often we wonder, as long as it took her to get prostrate had she forgotten what she was mad about?

And this may seem silly but recently I was upset with God. I felt He had pulled the rug out from under me. I found myself flat on my back, hurt and angry that He hadn’t been there to stop the insanity train from leaving the station.

For the better part of two days, I ignored my habitual instinct to “pray without ceasing.” I found myself audibly saying, “I am not ready to talk to you about this…”

I went so far as to get out some stationery and pen to write out my complaint. With Thesaurus in hand and my gift for the written word, I would tell God exactly how I felt about the current downward spiral.

Yet the longer I postponed the tantrum, the more I worked through the calamity, the more my vision cleared… and all of the sudden I had new clarity.

He didn’t do this to me.

There were natural consequences for our current trial. He was not dishing out troubles, yes He allowed them and then walked with us through them, but He was not in the business of destroying us.

When did I first believe Him to be cruel I do not know?

But I am rejoicing in the new-found message of GRACE.

Freedom in Jesus wasn’t something He promised just to hear Himself talk.
If we are free… then we are free indeed.

How I love falling into His arms.

How I need Him to catch me and show me it is all okay.

He makes all things new. And all things work together for good for those who love Him. In the midst of a trial, I was refreshed and renewed that He was for me.

He is for my marriage.
He is for my children.
He is for my good will.

Who is this God who we encourage others to adore? Is the walk of salvation a trick manifested just to get others to fall in line? Or is this the real deal?

Pray, I say to you He is so real… so dear and wise.

In my folly, I have questioned Him. In the explicit moments, He has welcomed me, without judgment or harshness, and allowed me to lie at His feet and worship.

What God is this that shows such mercy and love?

My God… my love and life’s breath. He will never leave me or forsake me.

He is for me and He is with me, affording mercy and grace… even unto the carefully executed wall-eyed fit.

Matthew 10:16 (NASB)”Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.”

Jami Amerine is a wife, and mother to anywhere from 6-8 children. Jami and her husband Justin are active foster parents and advocates for foster care and adoption. Jami’s Sacred Ground Sticky Floors is fun, inspirational, and filled with utter lunacy with a dash of hope. Jami holds a degree in Family and Consumer Sciences (yes Home Ec.) and can cook you just about anything, but don’t ask her to sew. She also holds a Masters Degree in Education, Counseling, and Human Development. Her blog includes topics on marriage, children, babies, toddlers, learning disabilities, tweens, teens, college kids, adoption, foster care, Jesus, homeschooling, unschooling, dieting, not dieting, dieting again, chronic illness, stupid people, food allergies, and all things real life. You can find her blog at Sacred Ground Sticky Floors, follow her onFacebook or Twitter.

Get all the Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

When You Feel Like a “Problem”

December 7, 2016

purposefulfaith

attack, doubt, fear, forgiveness, mercy

Lately, I’ve been looking like the frumpy mom. It’s time things change.

So, I head to the store and grab a whole bunch of clothes, as if they will radically revamp what is helter-skelter – the stuffed drawers, the haphazard dinners, and my own disheveled look. New pants will fix it all.

I put on the first pair.

But, they’re made wrong. All wrong. I can’t get the dang things over my hips.

I throw them down and grab the next pair, dark jeans. These will do the trick. Except they don’t; they don’t trick anyone. And, that’s the problem. I can see the bulges. Another defective pair! Be gone!

I suck in, lengthen my torso and slightly lean over, as if my moves will grease the fabric. They don’t. The pants move like chalk on sandpaper. They suffocate my insides.

Ugh. It’s not only the pants, my hair looks horrible and my nose looks big too. Plus, these shadows in here are horrendous.

I squint at myself, silently hating – everything. These pants are all – problems!

Or are they?

What if the problem isn’t the pants?
What if it isn’t this room with dim lights?
What if the problem isn’t fabric, but – me?

What if I am more of a mess than I know?

What if these pants that reject me –
are symbolic of a world rejecting me?

What if my inability to look good
represents my incapability to do good in life?

What if I’ll never be more than me?
What if I always fall short?

Ever noticed that when one piece doesn’t fit, if you don’t get it before God, suddenly everything else doesn’t work either?

I inhale.

Will I turn to face him? Will you?

No matter where we stand? In a dressing room? In discouragement? In despair? In frustration? In aggravation? In ruin? In darkness?

Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous. (Psalm 112:4)

God’s dawn is lighting. It is for us. We think it is for others, but it is for us. Right there – in our dark rooms, the spaces that highlight our worst, that feature our folds and that cast bad shadows…

…even in these very places, God says, light is dawning…

For us, those who walk, not perfectly, but willingly, with God.
For us, ones gracious: kind and pleasant to our own selves.
For us, ones compassionate to the colossal shortcomings and massive mess-ups we are on the daily basis.
For us, ones growing in righteousness day-by-day.

And, for others, people we know – are aware of our faults.
For people, who can bust us.
For people, who no doubt can point out our flaws.
For people, who also make mistakes.
For people, who sometimes appear as problems.

God flips the light, in our darkness, as we flip our reactions over to love, peace and faith.

What happens is – through Christ – is we start seeing ourselves in good light.

More Reading:
When you Don’t Feel Gifted
When You Long to Do Something Bad
5 Ways God Cares (More Than You Think)

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When Life Comes Down On You

November 9, 2016

purposefulfaith

attack, blessings, Contentment, hope, mercy

You. I know you feel sad, down or discouraged that things aren’t going so well.

That person? Yep. They aren’t so much changing.
That dream? Yep. It isn’t so much happening.
That pain? Yep. It isn’t so much going away.
That trial? Yep. It’s very much still there.
That bill? Yep. It’s not going away.

And, there you are in the middle of that rainstorm feeling tossed to and fro. You can nearly feel the pain of things that are going to hit into you. You nearly see the rocks and pebbles heading towards you. Add, the past? It howls with the whipping of regrets of yesteryear.

The power of God moves, you just aren’t sure if it is moving for you.

Do you just lay down and give up? Do you run?

But, run where?

There appears to be no covering, no safety from the onslaught of water falling. There appears to be no parting in the sky.

But, what if, what I saw as doom and gloom, God was working for my good?

I shall give you rains in their season,
so that the land will yield its produce
and the trees of the field will bear their fruit. Lev. 26:4

While we see rain, God sees gain.
While we see storms, God sees the seed of new starts.
While we see downpours, God sees the fruit he’ll bear.
While we see darkness, God sees the light that will shine the next day.

God calms calamity and turns it into spiritual prosperity. Believe.

There is more than the eye can see.
There is more than the ear can hear.
Faith is more than your senses can perceive.

There is more than your mind can conceive.

God is higher than your loftiest vision.
God is bigger than your largest memory.
God is not contained within your own perceptions.

Even more, he is good.
Not good sometimes.
Good all the time.
Not good on some days.

Good everyday.
Not just good to other people.
Good to you.

He won’t fail you either.

The Care and Keeping of a Mean Girl

November 3, 2016

Jami Amerine

grace, guilt, mercy, shame

1 Comment

Post by: Jami Amerine

At a recent doctor’s appointment, I learned my physician suspected that the greatest health crisis I was facing was… dehydration. That’s right, I am thirsty.

I consider myself fairly intelligent when it comes to health and nutrition. I confess, I am embarrassed by this diagnosis. Alas, I knew he was correct. And the fact of the matter is, I don’t have time to drink eight, 8 oz. glasses of water a day. On the days I do get that much water in my thirsty body, I don’t have time to make it to the bathroom in an efficient ratio of water in, urine out… so I am fairly miserable for 90% of the 64 ounces.

Needless to say, I left my doctor’s office feeling defeated, depleted and discouraged. There isn’t any way that my scale can be ten pounds lower than his. Is he just a vindictive mad scientist? I sat in my car and had a hale and hearty cry and then as I examined myself in the mirror, I began to multitask. I reapplied mascara and lip gloss while listing all things I find most awful about myself.

Fat.
Loser.
Lazy.
Dehydrated.
Whiner.

Horrible at math, mostly weights and measures.

Exasperated.
Phoney.

And the worst of all… mean.

I am a very mean girl.

I called the friend who was babysitting our young son and two foster placements and told her I would be there in an hour. I went to the store and bought her a lovely fall floral arrangement and the ingredients to put a fragrant squash soup in her crock pot for dinner. Crusty bread and an apple pie were added to my basket.

I would take great care of my friend for helping me.

On my way to the checkout, I stopped and grabbed chocolates for my sister, my husband’s favorite cookies, and the children’s favored frozen pizza. I scurried to the other side of the store and thoughtfully picked lovely greeting cards to bless my friends, our foster-daughter’s birth mom and her caseworker too. Just before I checked out, I filled my basket with an abundance of toiletries for our three oldest children who are at college. Then I made my way to the gift wrapping aisle to find bright colored bags to put the shampoos, shaving gels, creams, lotions, and deodorants in; if I hurried I could leave the bags at their dorms before I picked up my babies.

When I climbed back in my car, quite pleased with the purchases, I would bless my darlings with, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Immediately I began to admonish myself, I forgot to grab myself any water. I rehashed the list of my faults:

Chubby.

Dumb.

Slothful.

Parched.

Grumbler.

Frustrated.

Fake.

And the worst of all… mean.

I am a very mean girl.

About that time my daughter called to ask about my doctor appointment. I reported to her my struggle and she chirped, “OH MY GOSH MOM! You must get this new app! It’s called plant nanny!”

I followed her instructions and downloaded the app. I picked a cute little cartoon plant and begrudgingly entered my weight and read my results. The plant nanny decided how much water I must drink to keep my little imaginary plant conscious alive. The little seedling blinked at me with trusting animated eyes and I cooed at the psychological entrapment that would force me to drink enough water to nurture the cybernetic life into a blooming dependant illusion.

Over the next few days, I became more diligent in my pursuit of water. My iPhone would alert, my little make-believe Japanese succulent would bat her eyes at me and I would drink, click, and apply “water” to my H2O conscious companion. I treated that animated being like royalty, then on the 4^th day, a tragedy arose.

I lost my phone.

I turned the house upside down, it was nowhere to be found. Later that evening, I recovered my phone between the couch cushions. When I opened the plant nanny app I knew immediately, the app had died of thirst.

Fat.

Loser.

Lazy.

Dehydrated.

Killer of simulated Japanese succulents…

And the familiar voice hummed in my ears, “You are so mean… you were so good to tend to that imaginary plant. You are so kind to your neighbors, orphans, and case workers. You observe such careful and tedious attention to everyone, but you are so mean to My girl.”

I know this to be true.

The things that come out of my mouth toward myself are brutal. The TLC I afford those around me is stellar. The attention I bestowed upon the animated succulent … was criminal compared to the neglected efforts I make to grab myself, His girl – an artless glass of water.

I am most convicted of this, I may look as though I love my neighbor… but how could I possibly when I so blatantly despise myself? How can I be so hard and ugly to the daughter of the Most High? How can I spend so much energy on what I deem righteous and be so cruel to myself? He who died for me, that I might be called blameless… His girl. I agreed with Him. It was not what He wanted for me. He wants me to recognize, I am clothed in His goodness. He sees me as perfected. He adores me as His own.

I have neglected the gift of my inheritance, daughter of Jehovah. I deleted my plant nanny app. I applied mascara and powdered my nose. I grabbed my glass off the table and filled it with new water.

Water that this beautiful girl needs to bless the nations with wealth, prosperity and the Good News of Jesus Christ.

A champion for the little guy, a woman on a mission. Refreshed and adequately warned, don’t mess with His girl.

And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a slain offering and sacrifice to God – a sweet fragrance. Ephesians 5: 2

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Jami Amerine is a wife, and mother to anywhere from 6-8 children. Jami and her husband Justin are active foster parents and advocates for foster care and adoption. Jami’s Sacred Ground Sticky Floors is fun, inspirational, and filled with utter lunacy with a dash of hope. Jami holds a degree in Family and Consumer Sciences (yes Home Ec.) and can cook you just about anything, but don’t ask her to sew. She also holds a Masters Degree in Education, Counseling, and Human Development. Her blog includes topics on marriage, children, babies, toddlers, learning disabilities, tweens, teens, college kids, adoption, foster care, Jesus, homeschooling, unschooling, dieting, not dieting, dieting again, chronic illness, stupid people, food allergies, and all things real life. You can find her blog at Sacred Ground Sticky Floors, follow her onFacebook or Twitter.

When You Long to Do Something Bad

September 22, 2016

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, doubt, failure, mercy

1 Comment

I was in the store. I looked left and I looked right. I winked at my co-conspirator. I knew what I was going to do was wrong. Real wrong. But, I wanted to follow through. I wanted the thrill, the goods and the joy of her knowing I could do this. I grabbed the shirt and ducked in the dressing room.

Guilt followed me.

Is there something you’re doing behind the curtain?

Is there something you know you shouldn’t do,
but feel inclined to do anyway?

What is done in secret is still seen by God.

Ouch! That hurts right? The reality is, we don’t want to stop. We want to keep going because the idea of approaching it the right way feels too difficult, emotional or vulnerable. It is hard to stop what you already have going, what you’ve already invested in. Stopping sin, sometimes feels like stopping a freight train going 100 miles an hour with your bare hand.

Just this morning, I wanted to approach something the easy way. There was a clear-cut solution to a difficult problem. I saw a direct path; it was wrong. I convinced myself it wasn’t really wrong. I counted up the ways, it could be right. I negotiated with my holy side – God can make a little allowance for this one.

God didn’t agree. He gave no peace.

“Just this once, God?”

When I try to grant permission to the wrong way,
I miss seeing God’s way –
finding the reward at the end of the path called, “faith.”

“And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Heb. 11:6

Faith is believing in God so much, you do the right thing. It is deciding it is hard, but determining he will take care of you. It is believing that even without the thrill, he’ll thrill your heart. It is believing, even if you have to do it the long way, he’ll give shortcuts. It is believing, pain in the making is all about the new God is creating.

You can go the right way because God’s way always treats you right.

Provider will provide.
Lover will love.
Helper will help.
Guider will guide.
Creator will create opportunities.
Healer will heal.

When you open yourself up to God’s will pushing from behind you,
his new life-giving way opens up before you.

Will you believe by faith so you don’t walk fretting bad decisions?

Certainly, the result of one who walks by faith is being near to God. But, the lengths of God’s blessings don’t stop there, friends, he goes beyond this. He says he “rewards” the person who seeks him.

When you walk in obedience, by faith, he rewards in abundance – that very faith.

Imagine that?! What you want, will be greater, if by faith, you let him give it to you.

Fear not.
Strive not.
Lust not.
Drink not.
Compare not.
Want not.
Steal not.
Lie not.
Worry not.

God has the best gift waiting for you.

“Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean…” (Heb 10:22)

Let nothing come between you and the giver and sustainer of life. He has what you need. He is what you need. So,drop all that holds you back and walk towards him, unhindered, into all that he is ready to give you.