Category - guilt

When You’re Angry At Yourself

July 23, 2024

I sat there before the person. I knew what I should say, but I couldn’t say it. I had to defend myself. I had to set the record straight. Rather than take the high road and trust God to defend me — I burst out with a reactive come-back! And — boom — the word-bomb landed with its intended effect, blowing up the whole conversation.

Seconds after, I knew I had royally messed up. I did not keep my cool.

Have you ever been there? Have you ever royally messed up? Cheated? Lied? Done something repeatedly that you knew God didn’t want you to do?

Friend, you are not alone.

Even the incredibly holy and wonderfully anointed, biblical-great, Paul said, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” (Romans 7:15)

Ahh! The aggravation of it all! We do what we don’t want to do, so often.

Maybe, like me, you have done something you knew you should not… Maybe you knew how you wanted to talk, but didn’t talk that way… Maybe you wanted to be loved, but ended up speaking differently…

What do we do with that? When strong emotions override our best intentions? When we get so caught up in a moment, we go the wrong way? When other people douse us with the kerosene of our past mistakes? How do we move on?

Paul also said, “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” (Phil. 3:13-14)

How can we effectively move ahead when we are mentally looking behind?

If Paul had to let the past be the past, so do we. Only then can we love others, as we love ourselves (see: Mt. 22:39)

If we are to love ourselves — in order to love others — we must forgive ourselves and release all records of wrongs.

“(Love) is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Cor. 13:5)

What record of wrongs do you have against yourself? Might you consider forgiving yourself as God has forgiven you?

Prayer: Father, I thank you that when you forgive, you move my sins as far as the east is from the west. I thank you that you remember my sins no more. Father, today I give you the whole record of wrongs I have against myself and every accompanying feeling of hatred towards myself that goes with it. I release all that to you. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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The Devil’s Primary Tactic

July 19, 2023

purposefulfaith

faith, guilt, hope

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Blog Post title: The Devil’s Primary Tactic

Picture Adam and Eve…enjoying the love, the connectedness, the intimacy, the Voice and the beauty of God in the garden. What could have been better? The aroma of floral scents visiting them… The cool breeze of His love whisking over them… The sound of freedom regularly affirming who they were with Him… The wonder of His fruit at the ready. The fabulous connectedness of healthy family…

And then, the fall…
when they messed up…
and everything changed because it was all their fault…
and they saw what they did…
and hated their nakedness and ickiness…
and experienced a heavy weight of shame…
and tried to fix everything with their own hands…
to make everything better…
fashioning some fig leaves to cover over their mistake…
by protecting themselves…
by taking things into their own hands…
by hiding out from the One who would know how bad they were…
to stay out of His sight…
because He must be mad…
and because they knew they were bad, bad icky kiddies.

Shame is a primary tactic in the devil’s game. The confusion that comes in from sin tricks us. Then, it isolates us, driving us away from God, making us hate ourselves.

I can only write about this because I know about all this. Friends, I hate shame. I hate it!!!! It works like this: We mess up with a family member and then want to run away from them. We act how we don’t want to and then suppose God is angry at us. We remember that old sin we did long ago and think it is still making God angry at us. We remind ourselves how far from God we’ve been lately and determine the road is hard to get back to Him. We are angry at ourselves for how we acted and then want to punish ourselves to get better. We call ourselves names because we hate the sin we see. We judge our performance and try to make up ways to do better. We think we are not good enough, or we are too much and then judge ourselves.

What does shame look like in your life?

The devil uses shame to drive us away from His Name, The Name Above All Names. The devil insists we need to take things into our own hands because God will not be there for us anymore…

Yet, scripture tells us another story:

“Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.

But you must continue to believe this truth and stand firmly in it. Don’t drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News. The Good News has been preached all over the world, and I, Paul, have been appointed as God’s servant to proclaim it.” (Col. 1:22-23)

Friends, the only way to beat the devil at his own game is to believe in the power of His Name, Jesus! Jesus has transferred us from the kingdom of darkness to the Kingdom of light. We are not striving to be in His love — we are already in it! Nothing can separate us from His love!

Now, it is so easy to repent of sin. We cast off what was and, immediately, move back into what is: we are holy, blameless, we stand before Him without a single fault.

Friends, nothing — no sin, no mess up, no mistake, no person — can separate us from His love!

Prayer: Father, thank you that we are not in shame anymore because we are in your love. Thank you for your son Jesus who saved us and is continually saving us. We are forever grateful. Help us to live by our new nature and not to revert back to our old nature. May we not return again to a yoke of slavery. We are loved, accepted, wanted, holy and blameless. We praise your name for all these things. We boldly come into your presence for all the grace and mercy we so desperately need. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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Seek The Heart of The Matter

April 23, 2020

purposefulfaith

Comparing, Contentment, devil, doubt, faith, guilt

1 Comment

The man got out of his pickup. He ran down the stairs quickly. As he did, as if I was sizing up a suspect, I noticed his cut-off sleeves, his see-through thin white shirt, his scruffy beard, hid tattooed arms and his body that was far too thin. Was he on drugs?

I saw him dispose of something next to the sidewalk. What is he doing? Is there evidence he wants to get rid of?

Suspiciously, I kept my eye on him, as he quickly ran off…back to his car.

What did he do? I was determined to find out. So, as I approached the area of the sidewalk where he “disposed of his stuff”, I looked down. And, right between the side-walk and the water, was the evidence — a little turtle.

This “evil” man had rescued a turtle from the road to bring it to the water. He saved it from death to bring it to life.

And, as I looked at that turtle, I saw the reality of me: I size people up too quickly, by appearance, without knowing the reality of their heart.

My head dropped as I walked on. I am well acquainted with another group — who did a similar thing…the Pharisees.

They accused Jesus of healing on the Sabbath, without considering “the heart” behind Jesus’s motives (see: Mt. 12:15-21)

They misinterpreted Jesus intention to heal, missing His heart, by attributing the power to the devil. (Mt. 12:22-37)

They missed the whole new covenant because they couldn’t perceive the heart of God, through Jesus, in flesh and blood.

Let’s not judge, before we seek to understand — real truth. We are quick to size up what we can’t understand. Our natural mind demands we draw conclusions, rather than to wait on the Lord’s answer. Or His deeper meaning. So, we label people before our heart has come to know their real heart-motivation.

But, what if we were to give those around us “the benefit of the doubt”? What if we were to “believe the best”? Wait before sizing-up?

For instance, rather than judging people different than us, we can suspend our thoughts and pray a blessing over them.

Rather than picking apart our husband’s actions, we can choose to say, “I know he loves me. He is doing his best.”

Rather than assuming a friend doesn’t like us anymore, we can say, “I better call her and see how she is doing. Maybe she is having a hard day.”

Rather than believing God has forgotten us, we can say, “I don’t see answers to my prayers now, but I know God has all my requests in His hands.”

We can do something different: preserve our heart. When we wait on the Lord — He usually has a better answer. There are better heart-interpretations than ones we lean on though instinctive reactions.

What might you need to step back from in order to see from your heart? Where might you need to wait, instead of drawing conclusions?

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How is Your Heart?

July 24, 2017

purposefulfaith

birth, Contentment, doubt, dreams, guilt, hope

2 Comments

I’ve been watching the show, The Partner. In this show, Marcus Lemonis, puts many to the test but is selecting one right-hand-man or woman to be his partner. He puts each person through the wringer: he tests their knowledge of financial statements, has them run their own businesses, and places them in high-tension sales situations.

In a different way, God, also, is looking for just the right person…

…will He find you?

For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. (2 Chron. 16:9)

Just as Marcus noticed how his contestants endured under fire, God notices as well. Not with the goal of eliminating us, but much with the same goal – of promoting us.

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. (Lu. 16:10)

Have you considered, the tests God is permitting are because he knows you’ll prove yourself strong, steadfast and worthy to move to greater things? Have you considered – he believes in you? Have you realized – he desires to move you into great and glorious things for his making?

At the end of the show, The Partner, there was 2 woman left: one was a Harvard genius the other was humble and willing to learn.

Marcus chose the second. I believe God often does too.

Where is your heart? Are you willing to learn? Or, are you set in your ways?

Notice: In 2 Chronicles 16:9, God didn’t say his eyes roam the earth for the best person, the wisest or the most qualified, he said he roams the earth to strengthen hearts “fully committed” to him.

To have a heart “fully” committed is to:

Ask God to search your heart.
Be willing to see what needs change.
To be humble enough to consider doing things differently.
To be open to God’s leading as he helps you do things differently.
To recycle, over and over again, items 1-4 above.

I believe, for this person: new doors are opened, their life is changed, and God’s hand blesses them in tremendous ways. Today, check your heart.

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

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A Love Letter for Guilty Hearts and Shamed Parts

February 20, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment, doubt, faith, guilt, hope

6 Comments

Child,

I forgive you. In fact, I’ve already forgotten about what you’ve done. I’ve tied a weight around your worst and thrown it into the great abyss of my endless, all-consuming waters never to see it again.

So, why do you still hold on to it?

I’ve separated it from you. I’ve removed it hemispheres from your mind, being and soul. It’s so far, there is no sight of it in my eyes. There is no value to it in my economy.

So, why do you still hold on to it?

You expressed your remorse. You asked for forgiveness. It is done. I judge you not and I consider it not stuck to you, not even a grain.

So, why do you still hold on to it?

Hear this, I declare your righteous, holy and blameless. When I look at you, this is what I see. This is the sum of you are.

So, why do you still hold on to it?

Do you believe clinging on will help you improve? Be better? As if your fear will produce righteousness? As if slapping your own hand will finally make you act better?

If I don’t require this of you, why do you require it of yourself?

You want to hurt yourself so that you can finally be better. But, guess what? Jesus already took the hurt. He took the pain, for you. For moments just like these.

Jesus was forsaken, so you could be forgiven.

So, why do you still hold on to it?

It is not charges upheld, inflicted, that will mark you changed. But, charges released, absolved, that will give you hope, freedom to find my voice that will change you. In the space of forgiveness, you have room to hear my voice, to listen to my words, to find a new way, a different way. Here, your mind doesn’t talk like jury and judge. Here, you accept the fact – I’ve thrown out the court proceedings. Here, there is only new ground, a fresh day and the start of new opportunities – with me. Here, you find peace, you see my way and you uncover my revelations, progress and growth.

May I suggest you, let go?

Let go of what you can’t let go of. I’ll take it for you.
Sit down.

Lay back in the knowledge I’ll hold you. I won’t ever let you go.
Rest easy.

Unclench your hands and believe I will lead you on your best path.
Seek me.

If you run after me, you will find me, when you search for me with all your heart.
Wave goodbye.

What mistakes you keep seeing, have no value in the space between your eyes and mine.

For where we are going together, there is no need for dead weight and there is no necessity for you to control your own progress. I am the one molding you. I am the one keeping you. I am the one leading your family. I am the one in charge of your day. I am the one who you need. So, turn, face me and let’s go to where you haven’t been able to go because you’ve been holding all that.

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

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When Routine Is Robbing the Romance

January 31, 2017

purposefulfaith

approval, Contentment, guilt, hope

130 Comments

Welcome Sharon Jaynes! Sharon is authentic, real and brings practical and applicable tips to win in your marriage. Plus today, she’s giving away a free book if you comment.

What do you do when you’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’ in your marriage?

Maybe you truly adored your husband in the beginning, but now you can’t remember why.

Maybe you honestly admired his finer qualities, but now you can’t remember what they were.

Maybe you appreciated his wonderful attributes, but now you take them for granted.

Between taking out the garbage, paying the bills, running the car pool, mowing the lawn, disciplining the kids, and folding the laundry, sometimes the passion of marriage gets lost. It happens to all of us at one time or another.

We can get so busy taking care of life that we forget to take care of love.

None of us got married so we could have a long list of chores. If you’re like me, most likely you got married because you were madly in-love and couldn’t imagine life without your man! You got married because your heart skipped a beat every time you laid eyes on him.

You couldn’t wait to tie the knot and build a life with this incredible person God had miraculously brought into your life. Maybe you still feel that way. But maybe you could use a little reminder—a re-stoking of the romance.

In the book of Revelation in the Bible, God had this to say to the church at Ephesus: “I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first” (Revelation 2:4).

Ephesus was one of the most loving churches in the New Testament, and yet somewhere along the way they lost that initial thrill of knowing Christ. Their love for each other and for God had grown cold.

So how do you get that lovin’ feelin’ back?

God gave the church two simple steps, and I believe we can apply them to our marriages as well. “Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first” (Revelation 2:5, emphasis added).

Remember how it was in the beginning.

Return and do the things you did at first.

One day I took John’s words in Revelation to heart, and decided to remember and return by romancing my husband for fourteen days straight.

Can I tell you, I was a little bit nervous about it?

What if he thought I was silly?

What if he didn’t respond?

But I took a deep breath, push the fear aside, and began to romance my man like I did in the early days.

Everyday wasn’t earth-shaking romance, even though there was some of that.

One day I simply put a sticky note on his bathroom mirror that said, “I love you.”

Another day I placed a box of Red Hot candy on his car seat with a note that said, “You’re a hottie.”

One morning I warmed up his towel in the dryer and had it ready when he got out of the shower.

And you know what happened? At the end of the fourteen days, Steve had a skip in his step and smile on his face like a Cheshire cat.

And what happened in me? I can hardly describe the love that welled up in me, as I loved my man well. Hear this…I changed.

I don’t have a big, bad personal story of how God took a terrible, tumultuous marriage and miraculously transformed it into a storybook romance filled with white-knight rescues, relentless romance, and rides into the sunset leaving all danger and darkness behind. Although our marriage has been all that at one time or another, it’s no fairy tale.

Our marriage is a daily journal, one page after another, one day after another. I’m guessing just like yours.

Some entries are smudged with tears; others are dog-eared as favorites.

Some days are marred by unsuccessful erasures that couldn’t quite rub away hurtful the words said; others are finger-worn by the reading of precious events time and time again.

But on those days when I see my marriage slipping back into the mundane cadence of passionless routine, I pull out my list of ideas, and put a smile on Steve’s face.

And that’s my challenge to you and to me today. When we see the fire needs stoking, remember and return. It may be a little scary at first, but be brave and begin!

What is one thing that you can do for your husband today to remind him of how much you love him?

***Leave a comment and tell one thing that attracted you to your husband when you were dating. We’ll randomly pick one name and send a FREE copy of Sharon’s new book, A 14-Day Romance Challenge: Reigniting Passion in Your Marriage.

Sharon Jaynes is a conference speaker, devotion writer for Girlfriends in God and Proverbs 31 Ministries, and author of 21 books. Her latest book, A 14-Day Romance Challenge: Reigniting Passion in Your Marriage will help you step out of the mundane routine of life and captivate your husband all over again. With encouraging stories, Biblical principles, and over 250 simple ideas on how to romance your husband, Sharon will show you how to put a smile on your husband’s face. Just in time for Valentine’s Day!

Don’t forget to leave a comment to win….

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What Do You Blame Yourself For?

December 30, 2016

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, failure, guilt

5 Comments

Is there something in your life – you can’t forgive yourself for?

There is something, even today, I am still angry at myself for doing. I can’t tell you all the full story, although I wish I could. There are people, and places and things, that have to be protected. But, what you need to know is this: for a long time I’ve walked around with a pile of regret, loaded up with the bricks of fear that I can never rewrite the past.

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. Eph. 1:17

Peace, Child. I call you blameless.

“And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession–to the praise of his glory.” Eph. 1:13-14

Peace, Child. I call you blameless.

Did you hear me? I. call. you. blameless. Col. 1:22

Not blamed a little bit when “that girl” stands taller, thinner and richer.
Nor blamed when you royally drop all the marbles of so-called great faith.
Nor blamed when your mind starts to dig deep tracks into despair.
Nor blamed when you can’t seem to be sinless enough to win my accolades.
Nor blamed when don’t have as good as a comeback as that other person.
Nor blamed when you look like a walking zombie of motherhood.
Nor blamed when your house is messier than a city demolished post-tornado.
Nor blamed when you feel lowly, last or marginalized.

Blameless. Child. Blameless.

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. Eph. 1:4

Peace Child. I call you loved. Jo. 3:16

Not loved just when you’re performance is perfectly stepped and played.
But loved just as the unique creation I formed.
Your imperfections are what I call beauty. I know them and I love them.
Not like I love “her”–and for a good reason. She is not you, nor does she have your call.
I know how to love you, just as you need.
I know how to help you, just as my will prescribes.
I made you to be you, because I like you.
I made you to be you, because I have plans for you that no one else owns.
I made you to be you, because you know how to love the hurt that were hurt like you.
I made you as you, because there are people that need the most authentic being–of you.
I made you to be you, because I want you as mine. I enjoy you. I like you. I call you friend.

Order Kelly Balarie’s new book, Fear Fighting today! Or, get all her blog posts by email. Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

More Reading:
10 Ways to Develop Rock-Solid Faith
5 Transformational Tips: Make God’s Word Come Alive

Where Are My Blessings, God?

When Your Good Intentions Fail

November 14, 2016

purposefulfaith

Contentment, failure, faith, fear, guilt

In order to put on my ski clothes, I had to tug on long johns. Then, I’d layer super-tight, hard-to-get-on socks. One after another, I’d put everything on until my legs felt like they were the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Only then, would I pull on my snow pants, the final covering that prevented all cold water from entering the warmth that was under the coverings.

There was a process to the putting-on. I couldn’t just start and end with the outer shell of snow pants. If I did, I’d go through the night freezing.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Col. 3:12

Compassion. Kindness. Humility. Gentleness. Patience.
These are great things. We run after them. Daily we attempt to put them on, don’t we?

I know I do…

I wake in the morning and tell myself, today, I am going to be compassionate and kind. I am going to speak gently and tenderly to my children. Two minutes later, I blast them. Their faces look plastered with shock at my poorly chosen words. Sorry?

I also whisper to the Lord, “I am humble. I want to walk in low places with you.” Ten minutes later, I think, “I could have done that ten times better.” Whoops!

I try to move towards gentleness and patience, saying, “Watch out world!” Halfway through the day, I am tapping my toe and giving the evil eye to the car that’s moving at a snails pace.” Go figure.

What God calls me to put on – falls off halfway through the day.

Ever noticed this happens to you? Every wondered why?

I’ve noticed, I put on the shell of good acts, but what lays under is empty. Underneath, I have not layered myself up, with God, so I can endure the cold times of my day. This discourages us. It causes me to think, “I can never do this Christian faith thing,” “I will always fail” or “There’s no use for me.”

Do you feel like there is now hope for you too?

Like try you may, but you will always fail?

What if we have it all wrong? I can’t help but think, God didn’t just tell us to “do”, there is a whole other component – a component I often forget about. Take a second look at the first part of that verse above: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved…” (Col. 3:12)

First things first, friends.

Embracing the goodness of God, lets you live the goodness of God.

To feel embraced, you must layer up:

Layer 1: You are chosen. God picked you. He wanted you. He will use you. He has plans for you.

Layer 2: You are holy. His hanging on the cross, earned your holy status. Nothing can remove that from you.

Layer 3: You are dearly loved. You are loved from above and even when you act dumb, still, you are loved.

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance… (1 Pet. 1:14)

As ones internally covered with God’s garment of grace, mercy and love, like children who need what God has, let us draw near to God’s warmth, so we may go to the cold places of the world.

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The Care and Keeping of a Mean Girl

November 3, 2016

Jami Amerine

grace, guilt, mercy, shame

1 Comment

Post by: Jami Amerine

At a recent doctor’s appointment, I learned my physician suspected that the greatest health crisis I was facing was… dehydration. That’s right, I am thirsty.

I consider myself fairly intelligent when it comes to health and nutrition. I confess, I am embarrassed by this diagnosis. Alas, I knew he was correct. And the fact of the matter is, I don’t have time to drink eight, 8 oz. glasses of water a day. On the days I do get that much water in my thirsty body, I don’t have time to make it to the bathroom in an efficient ratio of water in, urine out… so I am fairly miserable for 90% of the 64 ounces.

Needless to say, I left my doctor’s office feeling defeated, depleted and discouraged. There isn’t any way that my scale can be ten pounds lower than his. Is he just a vindictive mad scientist? I sat in my car and had a hale and hearty cry and then as I examined myself in the mirror, I began to multitask. I reapplied mascara and lip gloss while listing all things I find most awful about myself.

Fat.
Loser.
Lazy.
Dehydrated.
Whiner.

Horrible at math, mostly weights and measures.

Exasperated.
Phoney.

And the worst of all… mean.

I am a very mean girl.

I called the friend who was babysitting our young son and two foster placements and told her I would be there in an hour. I went to the store and bought her a lovely fall floral arrangement and the ingredients to put a fragrant squash soup in her crock pot for dinner. Crusty bread and an apple pie were added to my basket.

I would take great care of my friend for helping me.

On my way to the checkout, I stopped and grabbed chocolates for my sister, my husband’s favorite cookies, and the children’s favored frozen pizza. I scurried to the other side of the store and thoughtfully picked lovely greeting cards to bless my friends, our foster-daughter’s birth mom and her caseworker too. Just before I checked out, I filled my basket with an abundance of toiletries for our three oldest children who are at college. Then I made my way to the gift wrapping aisle to find bright colored bags to put the shampoos, shaving gels, creams, lotions, and deodorants in; if I hurried I could leave the bags at their dorms before I picked up my babies.

When I climbed back in my car, quite pleased with the purchases, I would bless my darlings with, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Immediately I began to admonish myself, I forgot to grab myself any water. I rehashed the list of my faults:

Chubby.

Dumb.

Slothful.

Parched.

Grumbler.

Frustrated.

Fake.

And the worst of all… mean.

I am a very mean girl.

About that time my daughter called to ask about my doctor appointment. I reported to her my struggle and she chirped, “OH MY GOSH MOM! You must get this new app! It’s called plant nanny!”

I followed her instructions and downloaded the app. I picked a cute little cartoon plant and begrudgingly entered my weight and read my results. The plant nanny decided how much water I must drink to keep my little imaginary plant conscious alive. The little seedling blinked at me with trusting animated eyes and I cooed at the psychological entrapment that would force me to drink enough water to nurture the cybernetic life into a blooming dependant illusion.

Over the next few days, I became more diligent in my pursuit of water. My iPhone would alert, my little make-believe Japanese succulent would bat her eyes at me and I would drink, click, and apply “water” to my H2O conscious companion. I treated that animated being like royalty, then on the 4^th day, a tragedy arose.

I lost my phone.

I turned the house upside down, it was nowhere to be found. Later that evening, I recovered my phone between the couch cushions. When I opened the plant nanny app I knew immediately, the app had died of thirst.

Fat.

Loser.

Lazy.

Dehydrated.

Killer of simulated Japanese succulents…

And the familiar voice hummed in my ears, “You are so mean… you were so good to tend to that imaginary plant. You are so kind to your neighbors, orphans, and case workers. You observe such careful and tedious attention to everyone, but you are so mean to My girl.”

I know this to be true.

The things that come out of my mouth toward myself are brutal. The TLC I afford those around me is stellar. The attention I bestowed upon the animated succulent … was criminal compared to the neglected efforts I make to grab myself, His girl – an artless glass of water.

I am most convicted of this, I may look as though I love my neighbor… but how could I possibly when I so blatantly despise myself? How can I be so hard and ugly to the daughter of the Most High? How can I spend so much energy on what I deem righteous and be so cruel to myself? He who died for me, that I might be called blameless… His girl. I agreed with Him. It was not what He wanted for me. He wants me to recognize, I am clothed in His goodness. He sees me as perfected. He adores me as His own.

I have neglected the gift of my inheritance, daughter of Jehovah. I deleted my plant nanny app. I applied mascara and powdered my nose. I grabbed my glass off the table and filled it with new water.

Water that this beautiful girl needs to bless the nations with wealth, prosperity and the Good News of Jesus Christ.

A champion for the little guy, a woman on a mission. Refreshed and adequately warned, don’t mess with His girl.

And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a slain offering and sacrifice to God – a sweet fragrance. Ephesians 5: 2

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Jami Amerine is a wife, and mother to anywhere from 6-8 children. Jami and her husband Justin are active foster parents and advocates for foster care and adoption. Jami’s Sacred Ground Sticky Floors is fun, inspirational, and filled with utter lunacy with a dash of hope. Jami holds a degree in Family and Consumer Sciences (yes Home Ec.) and can cook you just about anything, but don’t ask her to sew. She also holds a Masters Degree in Education, Counseling, and Human Development. Her blog includes topics on marriage, children, babies, toddlers, learning disabilities, tweens, teens, college kids, adoption, foster care, Jesus, homeschooling, unschooling, dieting, not dieting, dieting again, chronic illness, stupid people, food allergies, and all things real life. You can find her blog at Sacred Ground Sticky Floors, follow her onFacebook or Twitter.

When Life Goes Not Good, Not Good at all!

September 7, 2016

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, expectations, Freedom, guilt

I love Annie’s all-chocolate graham cracker bunnies and only the all-chocolate graham cracker bunnies.

At this point, you are probably asking 2 questions:

Why is she telling us this? I promise there will be a good point.
Why is she eating something so childish as that? Because I try to pretend my kids love them.

So, sometimes, with these all-chocolate graham bunnies, they run out of stock (probably because they are so amazing). Then I have to settle for the mixed bag – with vanilla and chocolate chips. I try to pick out my favorites. But, my all-time fave bunnies, well, they don’t taste the same- the other flavors rub off on them.

Almost every time, after I do that, I vow not to buy that mixed bag again. But, yesterday, I did. My sugar craving won over bad memories.

When I sat down with the bag at home, I considered…

What if I saw things differently?

What if rather than expecting that these bunnies taste exactly as planned,
I expect a different plan,
but not an all-together bad plan?

What if rather than pushing my demands,
I open myself up to delight in these bunnies as they are – in a new way?

I can accept:

They won’t be as flavorful as before, but different.
They won’t crunch exactly the same, but different.
They won’t be my all-chocolate bunnies; but different.

I crunched, munched and considered them a whole bunch…and by golly, I liked them. I really liked them. I do like green egg and ham, or rather the vanilla-coated chocolate bunnies in my hand.

If I failed to consider them from a new angle,
I would have failed to grasp the joy present in the moment.

How might you need to see things from a new angle?

What might God be prompting you to let go of – so you can grab hold of – a new view?

Times change. People move on. Days look different. Life evolves, turns and seasons change. And what I find can be the hardest thing to contend with are good times, gone. Good memories, lost. Good laughs, evaporated.

What is it you are still grasping for – that is long gone?

Might you consider a new angle?

Perhaps what is good is gone, because what is great – is coming.

Have you considered that?

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Is. 43:19

When we look at a job as dead-end, we miss the little path God has jutting out to a new opportunity. When we see a marriage as failed, we miss the rail that leans us onto God’s great love. When we see finances as doomed, we miss the door God wants to open to save us. When we see our anxiety as endless, we miss the small prompting of new life God calls us to. When we see life only as overwhelming, we miss the wind of God directing us where to go.

What are you missing?

Maybe something has taken new form because God wants your heart to take new form.

We are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Cor. 3:18

Next time something seems lost, paused or different than expected, ask yourself these three things:

Might God be doing “a new thing”?
Am I open armed or closed armed to his movement?
Will I believe that God is moving me from glory to glory,
or will I walk against his wind, trying to step back into an old story?

Friends, I know it is hard. I hate it too. I stomp my feet, I chide change and I turn my back on things outside of comfortable. But, I am going to assure you – and me – we are not sitting with a mixed bag of blah. What we are sitting with is a bag of blessings. God is moving us into spiritual progress, greater spiritual blessings. There is fullness God so desires we enjoy.