I can’t sleep without white noise. Whether it’s a fan, air purifier or an app on my phone, I need that gentle hum to lull me into oblivion.
My husband travels several times a year for work, and sometimes during his absence I turn the noise up a notch. Every sound in the house except for that air purifier sends me into a panic.
I check the locks on the doors three or four times. I stand by the kids’ bedroom doors to make sure they’re asleep. I pace the house wondering.
Was that a mouse in our attic? Was it a squirrel? Or was it an intruder looking for a way inside the house?
Now, we live in a fairly safe neighborhood. But it only takes an hour of drama on Netflix or the latest news story to send my mind into high-anxiety mode.
There’s something about the darkness that makes us uncomfortable, isn’t there?
We fear what’s lurking in the shadows. We like the awareness the light brings- a sense of control, a knowledge of what surrounds us and even what threatens us.
Come on over to Abby McDonald’s blog to read the rest of this post! She’s hosting the #RaRaLinkup today. We’d love to have you join us and share your encouraging post.
Today while driving home from a meeting I had a revelation. I’m living on the training grounds for love.
You’ve heard what praying for patience gets you, well I want to explain where praying to love takes you. However, before I got to this place of truth I first had to pass through a few painful phases…
Maybe you’ll be able to relate.
I know it’s hard to believe but not everyone loves/likes me. I’m pretty sure I know a few people who don’t (and some of them may be relations)!
There was a time not so many years ago, if someone said something to me off-putting, unkind or otherwise just plain mean, I would pick up the phone and call my mom or one or two, okay maybe three of my “true” friends (who would side with me) and I’d dice, slice and dissect the cruel words ten different ways until I was worn slap out and tearless. I suppose this kind of talk could be interpreted as gossiping… about myself. And it never truly made me feel better.
This was my phase one.
Finally after exhausting my friends and when I couldn’t solve the mystery of the perpe-“traitor’s” meanness, I might take it to God and dump on Him asking Him to make certain necessary changes in said mean person.
This was my phase two.
Phase three went something like this…
As I grew in my relationship with the Lord, talking to Him (praying) and listening, I started recognizing how He was working in my life. I came to trust Him, really trust Him. That’s when I started taking my hurts to Him first—a big move for me. When I’d be tempted to pick up the phone I’d feel the Spirit nudge me to stop.
I finally did.
This graduated me to the phase three.
As I started aspiring to be more like Jesus, my desire grew to be obedient to His Word in every way, which meant I needed to love like He loves.
A tall order.
I began to pray a specific prayer for each difficult person I came across. A prayer I still pray today and It goes something like this.
Dear Lord, help me to see ______ the way you see them so that I may love them the way you love them.
This phase lasted many years. I thought I was making real progress but I had to go a step further. I needed to recognize my part in the equation. And God waited until I was ready to hear it.
Phase 4…
I came to a place where I would pray to see the hard people the way God saw them and pray to love them the way God loved them but I didn’t want to have to deal with them.
My thoughts would be, away with you hurtful person. I want nothing to do with you. I can pray for you and love you from afar but you can’t hurt me if you can’t get close.
It was after a painful rejection, while I was having this conversation in my head, I heard God say, what makes you any different from them? Do you not treat me at times the same way they treat you?
It was honest, it was convicting and in God’s infinite wisdom, the right time for me to hear and accept this truth.
And the Truth changed my perspective and brought me the next phase and the training ground for love.
Here my eyes can see, these hard people in my life are not part of the problem, they actually provide the solution.
They are the training grounds for love.
“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.”1 Corinthians 1:7
It’s easy is to love those who love us, share with us, give to us? On the other hand, it feels almost contrary to reason, foolish even, to love those who snub us, hate us, ridicule us, whose mouths drip with sarcasm aimed at us.
And yes, if I keep my eyes focused upward on Jesus, I can see these hard people the way He sees them; the way He sees me—a hurting soul in a broken world.
Today I can say it’s an honor to come to this place. The battle ground where I lay my life down for a better one. On the training grounds for love.
What ground are you standing on right now?
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Christy is a girly girl who chases tennis balls for recreation and at the end of the day does her best thinking in the tub.
She’s also a wife, mother, mother-in-law, soon to be grandma, speaker and mentor. Her passion is to encourage women to move forward, and press on while seeking God’s presence in every bump and turn in the road.
Daily life is living a grind. You wait at a light, people pass. The light turns green, you go. You hit a red light, you stop. Then, you go. So does everyone else – every minute of the day, that make up hours, that make up days, that make up weeks, that make up lives. You get the picture. But, do you?
We stop and we go, we pause and we laugh, we cry and we try again, we fear and we fret, and before we know it – that was our life.
Breathe deep.
What if you acknowledged every moment as holy?
The dog rushing out the red door? You chasing after him in 10-year old pajamas. Holy.
The disagreement with that family member? Holy.
The homework hour with the kid who doesn’t get it? Holy.
The carpool line that makes you feel less than? Holy.
The project at work that never ends? Holy.
The preparations for another dinner? Holy.
My son screaming in agony because his stomach hurts? Me, holding the bag around his neck as the yuck came out? A night of no sleep? Sitting here, with the face of baggy eyes and an oozy head – and a day of lost work ahead – it becomes a little harder to throw this blessed word to the wind and to watch it fly. Everything is always harder when it is personal.
If God, Father of all… is over all and through all and in all (Eph. 4:6),
then he fills all ordinary moments with holy.
If we look for God’s holiness, we will find it.
Between grabbing the trash bag and putting it around his neck, I laid my bruised hip on the ground with a grunt (I fell down the stairs the day before). And in the middle of one of my super-wide I-really-hope-this-is-all-said-and-done yawns – it came. The holy, the special, the heaven unzipping moment we all search for: “Mommy, thank you for loving me. Thank you for taking care of me.”
He saw love in action.
I saw raw thanks.
It inspired me. Holy.
What have you written off as worthless? Dead? Not important?
What you consider worthless, God considers priceless, holy valuable.
Holy valuable means that the fleeing dog
is a reminder of how God pursues you when you’re lost.
Holy valuable means your disagreement is
a humility bootcamp preparing you for big missions.
Holy valuable means homework with the frustrated kid
is your chance to illustrate grace.
Holy valuable means the carpool line is a meeting point
to find God’s unconditional love over man’s tempermental approval.
Holy valuable means you learn God is in control of the project.
You surrender; He helps you.
Holy valuable means you remember, as you prepare dinner,
Jesus prepares a room for those who serve him.
Holy valuable means 8-hours of no sleep highlights the meaning of sacrificial, deep and authentic love – and how it works.
Breathe deep.
God is not only in your big “I-need-huge-faith moments”, but he is in your little moments. The faith garnered there, is faith that launches you to bigger there’s.
Noah did what God commanded him (Gen. 6:22). He saved nations.
Daniel prayed 3 times a day (Dan. 6:10 ). He saw miracles.
Elijah followed through in what God called him to do (2 Kings 1:15). He spoke the very prophecies of God.
David got reliant on God. He conquered not only lions and bears but giants (Sam. 13:34-37)
How might God use you for big things, if you sought after his heart, presence and promptings in the little?
Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. Lu. 16:10
Little trials are big doors that walk us right into God’s epic story, his unparalleled vision for this world. You count it momentary, he counts it monumental. You count it nothing, he counts it everything. You count it unseen to others, and he says, “Yes, that’s the point.”
Breathe deep and recognize – your ordinary moments are holy valuable.
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I am delighted to welcome Marlinda Ireland to Women’s Ministry Monday. Marlinda’s words inspire my heart not to fret the timing but to trust the maker. This is just what I needed to hear. Welcome Marlinda!
Have you prayed and prayed for open doors of opportunity, but heaven is silent?
Are you tempted to act on some long-held desire?
Yet, deep down you know that the timing isn’t right. Perhaps God has not yet brought the necessary pieces of your purpose together and you’re feeling, well, stuck!
Now, it feels as if your life is behind schedule.
Let’s face it, waiting for answers from the God can be frustrating and discouraging. If we’re really honest, waiting can even make a strong woman weak. Having patience with God is especially hard in our microwave millennium. We’re often judged by how quickly we reach the proverbial brass ring. If you’re not married with two children, making a six-figure income, living in a five-bedroom house and enjoying all the finer things in life by age thirty-five, you’re labeled as someone who’s behind schedule.
In reality, most of us are judging our insides by other people’s outsides.
Pressure to conform to unwritten timelines set by society is intense. However, comparing yourself to others only leads to jealousy, envy, competition and discouragement. I have to admit that this was how I felt, not too long ago.
David and I married while I was still in college. However, because of our financial needs as newlyweds, I was unable to continue my education. So, the dream of being the first in my family to graduate from college was put on hold. Two years later I became pregnant with our first child, our lovely Danielle, and the dream was delayed again. Time passed and we had another beautiful baby girl, Jessica. Then, David transitioned from consulting engineering into full-time Christian ministry. So, I became the proverbial pastor’s wife. That was my title! Poof! Before I knew it, my dream was so behind schedule that catching up seemed impossible! Please don’t get me wrong. I was grateful for our flourishing family and ministry. But, secretly, other parts of my soul were dying on the vine.
I also felt God calling me to participate in missionary journeys to other countries. When David was away on such trips, well-meaning friends frequently asked me, “Why don’t you travel, too?” At that time, the question made me feel like I was doing something wrong…that I was not being a strong, assertive woman. So, in desperation, I cried out for wisdom. One day, God spoke to my heart, “Marlinda, personal goals and ministry opportunities will always be around for you to nurture. However, your children will not.”
Boom, it was crystal clear that our children were indeed my number one priority in that season. As David traveled, I was to hold down the fort. God was not releasing me to even leave our children with friends or family.
Still, at that time, I didn’t fully understand the principle of divine delay—how He uses them to prep us for the future. So, it was a struggle to feel content in His timing for my life. Then, just as the girls were finishing up high school and I was about to give up on these desires, opportunities for their fulfillment came into view. I felt moved to apply and was accepted into a graduate program that made allowances for people who had many years of ministry experience and several years of college. They even waived my tuition. Then, invitations to speak in the U.S. and overseas started flowing into my office. God’s blessings and timing were perfect.
The Bible declares, “God has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11, Amplified Bible). Abraham, Sarah, Joseph, Lazarus all experienced divine delays.
Can you trust that God has established
a unique timeline for you, too?
Our lives are similar to fruit bearing trees.
Different kinds of fruit ripen and mature in different seasons. Similarly, we each have a special timetable wherein we blossom and ripen into the plans of God. The rate in which this happens is not always determined by our own efforts or schedules—it’s also based on God’s divine timing. So, perhaps, you’re not really behind schedule. Perhaps, you’re in a divine delay!
Whatever the concern, rest assured that God’s in full control!
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About Marlinda
Marlinda is a wife, a mom, Bible teacher, and a “creative.” She is the co-founder, an associate pastor and the women’s ministry director at Christ Church in Montclair and Rockaway, New Jersey.
Through all of the challenges and joys that go along with her many life-roles, the Father has etched on her soul the meaning of full-blown-surrender. It’s out of this internal imprint that she does life, loves the broken and encourages the chosen.
Do you hate yourself when you yell – again?
Do you want to flick your wrist when you eat those brownies you should’ve dumped a week ago?
Do you call yourself an idiot for forgetting that appointment?
Do you believe you’ll never get better, live better or act better?
Freedom can feel far. Hope can feel lost. Deliverance can taste like an extra-large pizza, when you are one who berates yourself in your head.
Half my life, I’ve looked at my mistakes and asked, “Kelly, why are you so stupid?”
I say something dumb. “Kelly, why are you so stupid?”
I bump someone’s bumper with my bumper, “Kelly, why are you so stupid?”
I miss an opportunity, “Kelly, why are you so stupid?”
No wonder, one of my big fears is of being stupid. I’ve been speaking that fear into my heart for a long, long time.
What have you been speaking into your heart? Does it look – and hit – hard, like a hammer to the head or does it look and feel soft – like grace?
If you’re a heavy self-hitter, like me, listen up, because this is important: You no longer have to be hard on yourself, because the world was already hard on Jesus.
Let it really sink in. It hit him hard – and he took it.
Have you considered the weight of that? You don’t have to beat yourself up because, Jesus, the bodyguard of all bodyguards, took all your hits. He got hit so hard his flesh broke wide open.
So, while you sit and stare at your injuries, thinking, “They’ll never heal,” God says, “If I conquered the cross, surely I can conquer what plagues your heart today.”
Your brokenness is of no magnitude
that the maker of heaven and earth can’t fix it.
When you whisper, “Please God, help me, help me, help me. God, I can’t. God…God…God…”
God hears and nearly whispers, “Jesus”.
Because if you see this man on the cross,
if you see the fullness of his gift,
if you see the King,
nearly riding to death on a donkey,
in this place of poverty and powerlessness,
if you just see him,
you’ll see how he hung –
arms wide open,
for you,
the weak, wounded and restless one.
You’ll see mercy,
care
and foreknowledge,
pour out.
You’ll see his heart
to save –
both for today and yesterday.
When we see, Jesus, the man who won our freedom,
we really begin to trust his life can save us.
He didn’t died for us yesterday,
only to give a half-hoot about us today.
When Jesus spread his arms on the cross, he welcomed our pain. He welcomed the addicts, the rapists, the depressives, the adulterers, the anxiety-prone, the controllers, the abusers, the abused and the proud. He basically says, “See me, I am reaching out to hug you, to embrace you – to receive the worst of you. Don’t forget what I’ve done. Let yourself be saved from your plague.“
With this idea friends, knowing his heart, I want to be saved afresh. There is an area so wounded in me, I keep on trying to layer dirt over it. I keep trying to wrestle it down in my own mind. I keep wanting to tell it to go hide out in Timbuktu. It never does. It tapes itself to me. It labels me.
Well, today friends, today…today, I say, Jesus, you are my only way. I am willing to travel through the hurt to find your help. I am willing to get honest with you, so I can get healed by you. I am willing to give it a shot, knowing that you surpass my slip ups.
“Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God.” (1 Pet. 2:16)
Hurt one, are you ready to live free? What’s holding you back?
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Ps. 147:3
This is a question you do not ignore. Instead, it is one you put a pretty design around and then get tattooed on your hand.
It is that important.
You wear this question as if it is a badge of your dedication. You return to it often.
During my days in corporate America, I tried really hard. In my mind, I did really good. I responded to emails with lightning speed. I came up with proactive ideas before my boss even voiced word of the problem. I arrived not just with plans but complete SWOT analyses of the whole situation. I was always a step ahead.
After a long day at work, I’d run to release some steam. I’d run and think “I wonder if my boss sees all I am doing? I wonder if his boss sees too?” I assured myself, “Kelly, you’ll go places. They’ll uncover you and say, ‘Wow, what a gem.'”
Between striving and running. I was exhausted.
I was going after the wrong thing: the desire to be the star.
I wouldn’t have admitted this, but:
People were often a casualty in my race.
Problems were my ticket to a Kelly-solved-it phone call up the chain.
Work was a means to my end.
I didn’t feel good unless I looked good.
A woman dedicated to self-exalting ways
will run with skinned knees and deep discontentment.
What is your end? Not the one you try to convince yourself that you’re after, but the one daily you live for by your actions? The one that makes you feel cruddy?
Are you after people knowing the great things you are doing? The feeling you are finally enough? The one-track-mind goal of being published? The phone call that ends your waiting time? The approval of that person that restores your sense of self? The success that erases your feelings of illegitimacy? The desire to be wanted by family members? The spotlight that shows millions accept you? The achievements that are all about you?
Make no mistake, my fellow seekers, we are all after something. Many of us just don’t acknowledge it – because we are afraid to look at what our heart really wants. We are embarrassed; we don’t really want God after all.
No shame here friends. I get off track all the time. I blow it!
Getting off track is not the major problem, but remaining in denial of the problem – always is.
Where are you in denial?
Confront these questions(this means really consider them):
What is your heart’s goal on the daily basis?
Is it about pleasing God or pleasing man?
Seeking self or glorifying God?
Self-protection or God-dedication?
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to God the Father through him. Col. 3:17
Draw a line. Draw, not a grey or fuzzy line –
we have enough of those –
but an I-will-do-it-all-in-the-name-of-Jesus line.
Draw a line that says, I will be resolute, determined and steadfast
in only going after the right thing.
In going after – God’s thing.
This way, instead of allowances, excuses and rationalizing, you make progress.
Then, you and I claim a warrior-like mentality. It talks like this:
Speak to me, something that is not from him… I’m not listening.
Divert me with a call to selfish ambition… I’m shutting down.
Send me down a path of sin that will lead me astray… Nope, I’m not going there, I want God.
Try to get me to make it about me… I don’t think so. It is all about Him.
Aim my heart at some target off the path of God… Forget it. That’s not contentment.
We’ve gotta stop doping around.
A woman dedicated to do it God’s way,
finds the upsurgence of God’s heart
ready to explode from within her.
Drive emerges:
Your heart swerves left into discouragement, but you jerk back and remember how he has always taken care of you.
Your mind stalls – you pray and uncover your next step to get moving again.
Your doubts backfire – but you fire back truth that kicks doubt out of the car.
Your friends speak lousy words – you nod your head and exhale them like exhaust.
Your hard work proves fruitless – you remember he’s the one taking you somewhere.
You release demands and pressures. You fly free of the strings of the world. No one and nothing is tying you down. Like a hot air balloon, you are released to new heights.
You can see it all, from God’s view.
You move like a woman with laser-vision, dead-set on eternity. You fight hand-and-fist, tooth-and-nail, jackal-style, against the world that wants to wedge its way into your heart. You scream. You run. You stay near God. But, what you don’t do is let it get its sticky fingers on you.
You won’t have it.
And, when it does, when you feel icky because you went the wrong way, so you trash that empty wrapper, as quickly as you can, and say, “It’s not that I have fallen that most concerns God, it is that I get up and get going with him once again.”
And so you do. You just go where he wants to go, knowing that it is the ONLY and the BEST place to go.
A woman dedicated to the Lord
is like a ship anchored to the core of the earth.
What comes against her doesn’t move her an inch.
She is unwavering, unbreakable and unshakable.
Prayer to be an Unshakable Woman
God, help us. Where we are weak, make us strong. Where we are wavering, help us lay our anchor down. May we find strength through knowing you hold us. We no longer need to be held down by the world’s claws. May we believe you are so believable we see your hand in our everything. May we so fall into your arms of grace, so we never feel the pangs of condemnation rip us apart. That is not you. And, truly, we want nothing that is not associated with you – it will only leave us empty. God, you are one that leaves us on full. Not once, but all the time. God, give us you. Increase our faith; make us into fighters who don’t back down. May we know, strongly, you are what we need to run after. You are the answer to everything. You are the only way. Tie down our heart into you. Amen.
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I thought about bringing them in. But, if I do everything will get turned upside down. There will be questions, problems, ideas and suggestions about how I should do things. There will be recommendations for how the games should be played and different ideas on how the event should look. There will be deep discussions on outfits. Whether to serve mushrooms or asparagus. There will be rabbit trails I am too busy to commit to – and honestly could care less about.
I want to move alone. I want to lead the charge. Is there anything wrong with that?
People = Problems
I like:
Kelly = Leader People = Quiet doers
Hate me if you will, but I am being completely honest. Sometimes I can’t handle people. I’ve always had an issue with them. They get loud. They get opinionated. They get political. They get whiny. They get long-winded (you open your mouth to speak only to have the words stolen from you). They get advice-oriented, especially when you already have a good plan in motion. They diss your ideas. They judge all the time…! They get critical. They hurt you.
Sometimes it feels better to shove people
down a rabbit hole and cover the top,
then let them give voice to things that might hurt you.
Ever noticed?
I throw them a carrot every now and then if they’ve been good. If they’ve been obedient and rule-sensitive down there.
But, if they’ve been a vwery bad rabbit, I tend to:
– Ignore them.
– Try to advise, derail or shush them.
– Avoid them
– Squeeze them out.
– Talk about them behind their back or in my head.
– Get filled up with so much steam, I exhale scolding words.
I punish those disobedient rascals. Mostly, I punish them because I am afraid of them.
Oh, boy…it’s true.
I am afraid they’ll: look better than me, come up with better ideas than me, steal my show, be liked more by other people, grace the world better than me, make me realize the ugly parts of myself.
Can’t have Kelly feeling uncomfortable! No way, friends. That is the first rule of avoidance.
Better to diss than be dissed, right? Better to be the first one to walk out on that boyfriend, than to have him dump you. Better to let your eyes roam the room with your eyes, than to have others do it to you. Better to step away than have to deal with your friend liking the other girl more. Better to disassociate than associate with potential pain.
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Phil. 2:3
There’s that…
It looks the opposite of my approach. It’s one of those verses you recite because it sounds so beautiful. It sounds so Jesus. It sounds like, “Yes! I am great and humble and self-sacrificing and writing for Jesus (or fill in whatever holy excuse you use to not really love).
Self-protection is not holy affection, friends.
It’s a sack of nasty pride.
Am I being too hard on you – and on me?
Maybe. We’ve been hurt. It’s been painful. People have played – not nice. I know, I really know. It stinks.
Let’s throw a pout-party and squeeze our face muscles real tight and remember their icky-ness. Let’s.
Then, let’s toss them to the wind. Let’s let them fly away from us, because those past pains are holding us up from receiving present love. We are missing moments. We are losing joy. We are hiding away and into ourselves. We are losing the depths the real warmth that comes from letting someone really knowing you.
Our pride party is pointless.
Our joy is incomplete.
Our glass isn’t half empty, it is depleted.
He who is faithful to love operates in the gaps of people’s messes. If we are looking for pariahs of perfection, they don’t exist, but He does. He will layer in love, where they have left holes. Friends, it is not a person we are looking to fill us, it is God. We find him in the holes of man, for that’s where he leaves us – holy.
Prayer for Recovery of Relationships:
Dear Lord, today, I confess, I get scared. I get scared that someone will hurt me the same way as yesterday. It feels like a very real, present and oncoming threat. Help me trust you. Help me leave my heart in your hands, knowing that your wrapping of it is a covering that no man can penetrate. Help me believe that you are good, even when man is messed up. Help me know that my identity is in you and it is not indicative of man’s opinion. Lead me in your grace, mercy and fearlessness. Amen.
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We loved each other, I thought. Dashing up to him, I placed a decorated plate of deviled eggs before him, my favorite. I hoped he loved them, because coming off a fresh loss, my heart was hurting and looking for care. I completely botched up the championship basketball game by dropping and kicking the ball out of bounds on the court. Not once, but twice. Whoops. All I wanted sympathy, compassion. My heart hurt – but, little did I know, it was about to hurt even more.
He looked up at me and shoved the eggs away. His eyes said it all, he no longer wanted to know me. I wasn’t good enough. He got up and grabbed something behind the door. It was a woman. Ushering her in by her hand, he carefully sat her down in my chair and gave me the look, “I am done with you. It’s time to go.”
Aimlessly roaming the streets, I found myself homeless. I had only my comforter, a blanket that was a prize from the basketball game. Not knowing where to go, I held it close – it had my teammates signatures on it. I walked on and on.
When someone deserts us, we walk in a desert.
With a million piles of past rejection on us.
I woke. Thank you, God, this was only a dream. But, was it? Perhaps, it is reality.
Have you ever noticed, the rejection today carries the weight of yesterday? What pours is the same waterfall of emotions.
Just yesterday, I walked outside a military base. I grabbed coffee first. Intending to go in, I stared down at my shirt. Dang it! I’d gone splashed coffee all over myself.
I can’t go in there.
Not around those people in starched up uniforms.
Ones dressed to military perfection.
They’ll stare.
They’ll laugh at my stains.
They’ll see straight into me. They’ll be confronted with my faults. My botch-ups. It is too much, way too much.
Afraid of being a walking eye sore, I stop mid-step – I remembered something…
Whether I’m walking stained or with fresh rejection pain, just like in my dream, I always walk with the inscribed Comforter.
Do I even give it credence? Do I allow it to serve its purpose?
But the Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will help you remember everything that I have told you. (Jo. 14:26 AMP)
Do you cover yourself with the warmth, protection and safety of the Comforter when you feel uncomfortable? When you feel undone in shame?
You can, because He is with you. We don’t roam this barren earth without support, without care.
As Christians, we can press up against the Comforter who:
1. Leads us in the way we should go. (John 16:13)
2. Brings freedom. (2 Cor. 3:17)
3. Dispenses love and joy. (1 Thess. 1:6)
3. Speaks the mind of Christ to us. (1 Cor. 2:16)
4. Points our heart back to Jesus. (John 16:14-15)
When we draw near the Comforter,
we draw real and tangible strength from the Savior.
Jesus, He chose me, stains and all.
Jesus, He covers me with his love.
Jesus, He did not abandon me. And never will.
Jesus, He will make me white, no matter how coffee-splattered my shirt is.
Jesus, He will reflect light onto me as I turn my darkness into it.
I walked right onto that military base.
I walk, stained, amongst the perfection of starched uniforms, precision strides and measured haircuts. I walked, me – a stained, plain girl. But what I also walk with – is comfort.
It reminds me, I need not be perfect. I need not be flawless. I need just walk with my Comforter, the one who inscribes the name of Christ on me. Then, suddenly, it is not about me – or giant coffee stains – any longer. I find hope.
“For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” (Gal. 6:8)
If I could, I would sow that Comforter right on me. But, you know what? I don’t have to, he’s sowed in me.
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Today, I am delighted to welcome Celeste Gonzales to Women’s Ministry Monday. Celeste points out a path to healing after being injured at church. Thank you, Celeste. It is a delight to welcome you.
Why does God tend to grow us through painful times? Ever noticed? In times where you want to withdraw, God asks us to be vulnerable, willing and open to new relationships and leadership.
Joseph is the prime example of this: sold by his brothers into slavery, appointed ruler of Potiphar’s house, thrown back in prison, then appointed second in command of Egypt.
Ups, downs, ups, downs… God’s ways are a mystery. Accept the way God does things, for who can straighten what he has made crooked?
Ecclesiastes 7:13 (NLT)
So, how do you stay emotionally healthy when you’re hit with betrayal, accusations, and loss of friendships, all while being expected to shine Jesus?
Good question! To be honest, I haven’t mastered this…
I’ve had times where I felt so emotionally unstable from how cruel people can be that I needed to collect myself in the bathroom before entering the next meeting so I wouldn’t fall apart.
One day, I looked at my husband and said, “I’m not doing well. I’m sick emotionally and I don’t know what to do.” Unfortunately, he had no idea what to do with me either. It was rough!
I decided I’d had enough. I didn’t know who to trust or if I should even trust anyone, but I was determined to find healing.
Christ died to set us free, right?
By his stripes we are healed, yes?
Doesn’t that mean emotional healing, too?
If Jesus left gifts for us at the cross, isn’t it our job to seek them out? That’s just what I did—I sought answers and guidance. I asked for help…
And, you know what happened?
I didn’t get a response. Nothing. It hurt. Discouragement settled.
However, one thing I knew is I wasn’t giving up. I wasn’t giving in. Jesus’ healing was already prepared for me. He bought and paid for it on the cross over 2000 years ago! A good Father loves to give good answers. He’s not satisfied until we find them. So, on I went.
I saw a Christian counselor for deeper guidance. I followed through on the homework he gave me, I took notes during every message from my pastor, and I continued in personal devotion. Like physical therapy after a bodily injury, I kept pressing on toward the goal.
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Phil. 3:14
How is God calling you to press on?
What might he be calling you to pursue?
Let me assure you, God not only works for you, but he works with you and behind the scenes – for you.
It just may not come as you expect. You know, I hardly wanted to be open with people about my feelings. That’s tough work. After all, I trusted before – and I got hurt. But God, he had other plans. One way or another, God let people in on my secrets.
Frustrated, I wondered, “Didn’t He just see what happened to me? And He dares to give people insight to my life and tell them things only He knows?”
Well… yes, and yes.
We had a talk: “God I don’t want people to know these things.”
His response: “I know, but it’s good for you.”
Why does God always have to be right??
Because God is God and he has good deep down in the depths of our hurt.
I can attest to this. I really can. Today, my friendships are stronger than they’ve ever been, my home is peaceful, I love the ministry I’m leading, and my heart is full of joy.
Like Joseph, this path wasn’t easy, but still, I found fruitfulness in a time of affliction.
Today, you may feel pained, ashamed or out of the game, but let me assure you, your pursuit of God is not purposeless.
Let Joseph be your reminder. He didn’t stop leading, or stop getting out of bed, or turn his back on God. He got up, kept his heart pure before the Lord. God not only prospered him, but redeemed his pain!
Maybe these words by my pastor might resonate with you, “I’ve never been hurt more than by the local church. I’ve never been healed more than by the local church.”
Have you been hurt?
If you’ve found yourself in an emotionally weak place, today find encouragement – you don’t have to settle into it or ignore it! More awaits. Acknowledge it and seek wholeness; settle for nothing less!
God has already paid the price for your healing, and if you seek him through it – he will lead you to it!
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About Celeste
For nearly a decade, Celeste Gonzales has pursued the call to see women grow in their God-confidence and walk boldly in their calling. As part of the Celebration Church Austin team (along with her husband, Daniel) Celeste utilizes her relatable communication style, effective strategy, and heart for discipleship to help develop and equip women leaders. She has three things that get her up every, or at least most, mornings with a smile: Syrena (11), Luke (8) & Kya (4). Follow her on Instagram & twitter @celesteadores .
I got to the end of the day, pulled into the driveway, stared out the front windshield and laid down a verdict, “I didn’t succeed at loving. My morning goals – looked like a blown-out tire by afternoon.
Sure, I began the day with aspirations a mile long – I’d do great things with God, we’d pour out love on people, we would encourage the world with the love of Jesus. But then, life happened. Ugh. I felt much more like a woman on a treadmill – working up a sweat and getting nowhere – than a woman on a mission of grand importance.
I exhaled. Scrunched down in my seat. Clenched the steering wheel.
I stink. God, I am sorry that I didn’t win for you today. I am sorry that I let you down. My heart is to go all out for you, but I lost.
Have you sat like me –
wanting to make progress only to end up discouraged?
I recently signed up for Michael Hyatt’s Free To Focus Productivity Summit. Reason being? I have a minuscule amount of time to complete a massive amount of ministry. I need help.
Learning a ton, Michael said something that struck me; it clicked: Not keeping up, makes you feel like you are losing. Feeling like your losing diminishes productive confidence.
My confidence ride likes waves. I go high when I am confident, but when the waves crash – so do I. I eat it.
With this, I wonder, shouldn’t my confidence look more steady, more consistent?
More like Jesus?
More grace-filled, less about getting ahead?
More locked and loaded on eternity, less concerned with check-marks?
More set on God’s big mission, less engrossed with endless busyness?
How does God see confidence?
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence,
so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Heb. 4:16
I might say,“Do more”, but God says, “Be more with me. Come more – to me.”
What if I no longerlived like a temperature gauge –
hot and on fire with passion one day, cold in defeat the next?
I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish;
no one will snatch them out of my hand. Jo. 10:28
Godly confidence is knowing that God will never let you go.
It is less in what we do,
or how we see things, and more in who He is – and what he does.
He has our future. Confidence!
He knows our way. Confidence!
He will be faithful. Confidence!
We can fly arms wide open into his will. Confidence!
We can fall and he will still make my fly. Confidence!
We can not know the way – but he will. Confidence!
Confidence in Jesus, can’t be stolen, revoked or denied. It is a solid rock; it does not waver.
On what ground does your confidence stand confidence?
Achievement? People pleasing? Perfection? Performance? Busyness? Perhaps it is time to exchanges confidence that crashes like waves for rock-solid confidence that can’t be stolen.
4 Foundational Truths that Breed Confidence
There is no effective building of anything unless the Lord truly resides over everything. Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. Ps. 127:1
God’s work is less about what you do and more about what He’s already decided to do. For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Phil. 1:6
You don’t need to fear, God protects you from the snares. For the LORD will be your confidence And will keep your foot from being caught. Prov. 3:26
You don’t have to know where you are going, just that God is going there with you. Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Heb. 11:1
The real power of confidence transcends our natural eye. When we pull our strength from the supernatural, something amazing happens – we often do the supernatural. Suddenly, focus is exactly what we have and progress is exactly what we get. It never comes by our strength – but always comes by His. This removes the pressure. It is a heavenly movement on our behalf, not a heart-attack ridden movement by our striving.
This kind of confidence? It makes all the difference.
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Marlinda is a wife, a mom, Bible teacher, and a “creative.” She is the co-founder, an associate pastor and the women’s ministry director at Christ Church in Montclair and Rockaway, New Jersey.
husband, Daniel) Celeste utilizes her relatable communication style, effective strategy, and heart for discipleship to help develop and equip women leaders. She has three things that get her up every, or at least most, mornings with a smile: Syrena (11), Luke (8) & Kya (4). Follow her on Instagram & twitter @celesteadores .