It was supposed to be a time of joy, connectedness and unity, but everything went wrong. My heart didn’t want to align with God. It didn’t want to follow his marching orders, and instead marched to it’s own beat: a beat of I have to figure this out, I have to work to get right with God, I have to be better than myself and I have to stop sinning.
Sure, God does tell us to put off our old self, which is “being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Eph. 4:22-24
There is a taking off of the stinky, the putrid and the worn out shirt of self and a putting on of the new, sparkly, purposeful and intentional dress of holiness and righteousness.
Sounds amazing right?
Certainly, I knew what I wanted to wear, but somehow it seemed like that new dress was out of my price range. It was out of my reach. It wasn’t so easy to obtain.
Why try?
My ears became so focused on my bad self-talk, that I couldn’t hear God talk. His small promptings passed right over my shoulder.
I was so so focused on, “I have got to figure out the mess than I am, God” rather than the “Come with me, Kelly, I have something for you.”
We speak words of condemnation,
but God stands ready to hand out words of consolation.
When we get to the end of our self, we get to the start of God – and that is what happened to me.
It’s not just about not sinning – about removing the old stink and putting on the new outfit – but it’s about the renewal of the mind. Only then, can we walk forward in the new.
We renew our mind by:
Bringing it to the altar of transformation, which is prayer. Immersing it in the irrevocable truth of God’s Word. Knowing that the one in us is greater than the world around us. Making it new in the promises of God. Finding a space with God when we feel like we have no space for him.
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. Jo. 15:5
I listened.
I stopped.
I prayed.
I asked.
I humbled myself.
I waited.
I listened.
I heard.
“My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Ex. 33:14 God rests my soul, as I find rest in him.
Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. Ps. 55:2 As I hand my burdens over, God hands me his hand that holds me upright.
The answer to putting on the shiny dress of new self is giving God the first chance to suffocate the old. Then, we leave clothed in promised robes of righteousness and holiness.
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Like a teenager under the overwhelming weight of pressure – I did not choose the right road.
The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. Gal. 5:19-20
I let my internal pursuit for feelings of acceptance compel my feet right to the place of wanting more for myself.
I wanted to get from God rather than enjoy him.
His blessings, rather than his presence.
Big confirmations, rather than his small dispensations of love.
Doors open and people to push me forward.
Only His best – for my advancement.
I wanted God “my way”.
Super-sized god.
An I-will-do-it-all-for-you god.
A tailor-made god that fit my needs.
But, my teenage tantrum to feel good,ended with the repercussions that always come when we bend in to disobedience.
I slammed the door to my room and locked myself away from God, scolding myself for doing the wrong thing, in the wrong way. I didn’t want to look at him; I had done so wrong – I acted badly and was deeply afraid to admit it.
Yet, Jesus is the door and he has all access to our rebellious hearts as we say we are sorry.
He walked in to comfort me with his love and the words, “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” Phil 2:12-13
Praise you God!
You take us out of us, and give us you – so we know what to do. As we work to know and fear you, you work to help and heal us. The presence of the Spirit in us is greater than power of the flesh over us.
The truth is God that I can never work hard enough to remove my flesh; God never gave me that ability – the actual act would hurt far too much. To wrip off my flesh by myself is to live in a constant mode of chastising self-finger wagging.
Only God has the power.
He releases us on the inside so we can act right on the outside.
Then, we “do not use our freedom to indulge the flesh”. Rather, we “serve one another humbly (not pridefully) in love. Gal. 5:13
Humble love says, “God your face is all I need.
Rather than, “God, pour out what I want.”
Lord, as your Spirit guides, your faithful servant will obey, because your ways are greater than mine. Give me a heart to endure what you did on the cross, so my life may reflect the magnitude of your love. Amen.
As we release our life to God, we find it. He works, and we, like needy children drawing instruction – listen. And, he leads us.
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It is easy to look at our dreams and think they are the answer to our joy.
It is easy to look at another and think they have all we dreamed of – and more.
It is easy to face our rejections and to let them destroy us.
In many ways, we have set up our structures of hope and we have decided how they should be built. We know who needs to be involved, how we will put them together, what will make up the parts to success, but do we miss out in this process of self-promoting and self-reliance?
Does God have more hidden behind that structure
we have erected in our mind that we can’t see?
Might it be waiting, unseen,
because our mind is sprinting in another direction?
I know, for me, I miss out when:
I start becoming so focused on my blue prints that
I miss the blessing God has sheltered in the “now”.
I see that girl and decide my structure looks like a shack in a third world country.
Questions become probing inquiries to steal my goods.
A request becomes an opportunity for another to use me.
My accomplishments become the savior of my insecurities.
This is exactly why God speaks this verse: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Phil. 2:3-4
God is so smart; sometimes he has to protect me from me.
God seems to know that the greatest gift is not found in me, but it is found in the outpouring of love found in him.
It’s almost like God says, “Hey, you’re blocking the view of what I really have for you –
the needy hearts in front of you.”
“You will miss them with your eyes focused on your own plans,
your own ways and your own dreams. If it is my dream, I will make it for you.
You need not stress, but until then, don’t run after ambition,
run after a heart to love.
I fill in all the gaps.”
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Mt. 6:33
I am going to listen to the truth of these words. Will you?
There are so many around. So many who need us.
They hurt and wait for someone to see that tear in their eye.
They hurt and hope for an arm to go around their shoulder.
They hurt and dream of a helping hand.
They hurt and they wait for our love.
They hurt and God wants us to meet them.
Much in the same way we hurt – they are hurting too.
What we will see is that, often, we end up needing them more than they ever needed us. God ends up using them to shape us and form us and make us into the vehicle that brings our dreams to life.
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That girl has it together.
She has what counts.
She speaks, and people listen.
She lights the room.
And blesses so many. Who am I?
That girl, she is special.
She must be God’s favorite.
She must be the apple of his eye.
He really loves her. Who am I?
Look how he blessed her. Who am I?
Who am I if God doesn’t show me that I am worth something?
Who am I if God doesn’t push me a little bit further ahead than her?
Do I still count?
Sometimes, we look at our faith walk, like a race of worth. Sometimes we look at our blessings as medals of accomplishments.
It only looks like we are winning when we are not losing.
Do you ever feel this way?
Imagine for a moment, if the disciples had let this kind of thinking creep in.
If Peter looked at John to say,
“If you are beloved, I am not loved.”
If Elizabeth looked at Mary to say,
“You birthed Jesus, my womb is now worthless.”
If Jesus turned to his father to say,
“You reign higher, my lowly position has no place.”
How would Christianity look today?
Might living this way send us down a similar road as Satan? A road of orphanhood?
I praise God that these movers and shakers of faith didn’t move away and shake frozen in their boots – as God chose to bless some and not others.
Sure, the disciples had their moments, “A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest.” Lu. 22:24
I have these moments too. I have moments where I want that girl’s stuff so badly. But, I am realizing that my needy declarations are, more than often than not, just proud questions demanding his marks of approval.
Questions like: “God do you love me? Do you count me worthy enough to bless me too? Why are you forgetting me and exalting her?”
I kind of want to be God’s favorite loved child. Do you?
I kind of want to finally secure my place in his eyes. I want people to think, “that’s the girl God blesses.”
I am prone to think my blessings count me worthy,
but God says – and always says –
my son has already marked you approved.
He was marked, to forever mark me – loved.
He has saved us and called us to a holy life–not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time 2 Tim. 1:9
God pursues our holiness, many times, on our behalf; he knows what is best for our heart, our needs and our spiritual development.
He looks at his gifts to us, much like we look at ones for our children, likely asking,
“Will it delight them or spoil them?”
“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. Lu. 15:31
He is less concerned with the everyday, all the time blessings because he knows, everything he has is already ours.
He is not so much interested in playing into our insecurities, he is interested in healing them.
I wonder, do we realize, just like the lost son at home with his father, that we aren’t missing out on anything?
That the whole time, even though a brother strayed and was blessed,
we already had everything we needed to begin with?
Jesus never sets a value on one child over another.
All the same, all the time, equally adored, accepted and loved, he waits with arms wide open for: the losers, the winners, the victorious, the downtrodden, the proud, the humble, the rich, the poor, the sinful and the less sinful, the loved and the unloved.
He doesn’t have super-pipes of one-directional love. His love flows unhindered, ungated, unrestricted, all the time, into all the hearts that need his love, his gifts, his blessings and his perfect ways.
We are all worthy, every moment of every day, because Jesus Christ was crucified, covered, guarded, uncontained, glorified and magnified.
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I am good at organizing my faith. It means I line up all the little pieces of my life in a straight line and expect them to fall like perfect dominos.
I expect my plans to fall into place. I expect that the dominos will hit the ground – and not me as I sin. I expect that my perfectly placed pieces will keep my faith in a straight line.
Perhaps, this is why I feel so devastated, so demolished and so pushed over when I do wrong. It is as if all my attempts to control my faith, my sin and my progress press on my shoulders, compacted and ruined.
It’s nearly back-breaking.
How can God’s ways be light when this work seems so hard?
Is this light-load wording really even truth?
Because if it is, I am living by a lie. Again and again, my faith falls and I do too.
But, what if? What if? I am looking at everything all wrong?
What if my inability to carry, isn’t so much because of him – but, because of me?
One with the weight of shame,
can’t really pass out the grace of Christ.
One whose hands cover her face,
can’t let God hold her hand.
One who laying down in despair,
can’t see up in hope.
One lining everything up,
can’t help but take everything personally when it all falls down.
And, in a heart-pumping way, I can’t help but think, maybe this line of thinking is real progress.
Because my way = the wrong way. God’s way = a chance to see his work at play.
God’s way is his Word and it restructures our approach:
Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy. . . Jude 1:24
But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God. Jude 1:20
The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” Luke 17:5
And he said to the woman, Your faith has saved you; go in peace. Lu. 7:50
He makes us stand before his presence.
He grants us joy. He keeps us from stumbling. He holds us in the love of God as we pray in the Spirit. He increases our faith as we ask him. He makes our faith win when we rely on him.
We don’t need us, we just need him. We don’t need strategy, we just need prayers. We don’t need plans, we just need the Spirit. We don’t need holy roller practices, we just need help.
Every time, we need his help.
All the time, we need his help.
Every hour, we need his help.
Bottom line, as our heart cries out for faith by his Spirit, he will keep us and help us. He makes our load light as we lay our load on him.
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Days where these kids head to time-out, over and over, despite the repeated talks on love.
Days when work doesn’t work-out.
Days when the marriage just goes off kilter.
Days when friendships irk.
Days when finances continue to dwindle.
Days when God doesn’t immediately show up. Days that can turn into weeks…
It’s days like these when you wonder why in the world things don’t work better when you are working so hard?
It’s days like these that compel your heart to want to give up, to run and hide.
Why is it that the train-wreck days sometimes seem far easier to get over than these kind of slow-gnaw-type-of-days?
At least with the train-wreck days, you can clean up the toys at the end of the day and start over with a clean slate. You can file these days away in the “once-in-a-blue-moon” cabinet knowing they won’t repeat too soon.
But, slow-gnaw days are called faith-busting day. Over time, they cut your faith away.
They make you question your worth, your heart, your value, your plans, and your God.
They make me lay in the bed, look up at the ceiling, and say, “Why do I even try, God. When are you coming through? What do I have to do?”
We tend to think that way, don’t we?
That for some reason, we are responsible to fix the hand of God.
As if our actions are the precursor to his decisions.
Who owns the hand of God – HIM or me?
Yet, I think of another who had a serious loss of heart. I think of another who had a series slow-gnaw days that could have eaten him alive – if he let them.
Imagine hearing these words:But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. Luke 22:32 And then hearing this:“I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.” Lu. 22:34 Only to do this: “I don’t even know him!” Lu. 22:57
Might Peter thought, “I’d never! That day will never come! I am strong!” Likely.
But he did – 3 times he did. And he wept. Beyond that, I imagine the next days must have been excruciating as he, probably left in discouragement and despair, saw his savior crucified, dead and buried.
What happened to his purpose?
What use was his life, after in Jesus, he practically twisted the knife?
Peter’s actions must have gnawed worthlessness, pain and struggle.
But, Jesus never leaves the failures, the forgotten or the futureless.
Peter’s inability to stick it through in the moment didn’t disqualify him from Jesus’ love, neither did his past actions.
Nope. Remember this? “But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail.” Luke 22:32 And, it didn’t.
How often do we arm ourself up with faith like Jesus did for Peter? His prayer was answered.
How often do we pray preemptively for war? We are at war.
I can only speak for myself, but with faith like mine,
I should make this prayer my living-mantra.
Because it worked for Peter who:
Was bound up in forgiveness and recommissioned by Jesus with the words: “Tend My sheep.”
Was filled by the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, to preach and lead 3000 to Christ.
First cried for himself, and later cried with passion for the church built above his foundation.
Spread the gospel far and wide with crazy love for his Savior.
Completed his life as the rock – to the point of death, not as sand – breaking under the pressure of life.
We think Jesus uses heroes, he often used the ones who felt like zeros.
We think it’s about perfection, but it’s simply about his resurrection.
We think Jesus looks for the perfect, but he always finds the willing.
We try to be faultless, but God grows the repentant faulted.
Peter was never disqualified because he doubted.
His days were never marked as fake and tossed out like bad meat
(we read his lessons time and time again).
He wasn’t left in the dust without a purpose or a cause.
He hit gnawing days, battling days and downright discouraging days, yet Jesus chose him, ate with him, replenished his heart and restored his mission so he could go awesome, outstanding and amazing distances for God’s glory.
He waits to do the same with us; Jesus waits to recharge us into his purpose.
What is really amazing is, after all was said and done, Peter, wasn’t just changed for himself, so he could reach some high-and-lofty goal like sitting at the right hand of God, or going before God, or looking good to man, but he was changed to one who learned to deny self (no matter the cost).
He became chief-tender over Jesus’ greatest love – the sheep, just as Jesus always believed he would.
Jesus said to Peter (pre-denial), “And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:32
And, Peter did.
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2 #RaRalinkup Updates:
1. Sign up for the NEW Cheerleaders 4 Christ #RaRa Facebook group page (this is different than the prayer one I set up). We will be rolling out a new element to the #RaRalinkup that I want you to be a part of. Details are forthcoming soon. Join here.
2. RSVP for the #RaRalinkup breakfast at She Speaks. Exciting news, prizes and challenges will be shared at this event.
I should have done better.
Why did I do that?
I am such an idiot.
Ever spoken these words over yourself? I have.
I take all the things I have done and I judge them for my performance, my worth and my value.
As if these things are the summation of all that I am, can do and will be.
As if these things determine my day, my faith walk and my feelings.
I am hard, oh so hard on myself – hit-myself-with-a-2×4 hard sometimes.
But, is this even godly?
Is this even biblical?
The truth is:
1. He already handled them as he poured them all out over Jesus on the cross. (Is. 53:6)
2. He seizes them up and throws them out. (Jo. 1:29)
3. They are taken and covered by his holiness, grace and righteousness. (Ro. 4:7)
4. God moves my sin as far away as my hometown is from Chinatown. (Ps. 103:12)
5. They are lost, not to be found. Pardoned, for those he has saved. (Jer. 50:20)
6. Like a dead body thrown in the water, never to be seen again, God throws our old sins into the depth of the sea. (Mic. 7:19)
7. He remembers no word of them. (Heb. 10:17)
8. He blesses us in the process of removing our sin. (Ro. 4:8)
9. The guilt, the shame, the part that we feel responsible for – he nailed to that cross. (Col. 2:14)
10. He leaves us white, holy, renewed, revived, whole, complete, righteous, pardoned, sanctified and justified in him. (Ps. 51:17)
As the weight of sin moves out the weight of hope can move in.
A weight of hope that shows us:
We are holding the hand of the innocent lamb, until the day his kingdom comes.
There is a future, a plan and a glory awaiting us
because we belong the one to whom all our sin belonged.
There is nothing that can come against us,
because the deal is done, the war has been waged and the victory belongs to Jesus Christ.
The power of love is as attached to us as an arm-brand marking us as owned.
Jesus’ love is forever ours.
We have still-water peace always available through the power of knowing God,
not striving for him, but simply knowing.
Jesus died so we didn’t have to.
He sent the Spirit so we could live day-by-day with a new and living hope.
This power is alive and active – in us.
Do we rely on it?
Do we see it?
Or, do we operate by pounds and pounds, weight over weight of shame and guilt?
When we let the power of shame, guilt and discontentment take hold, the power of God is squelched. Yet, when we see God’s power for what it is – powerful – and his sin bashing skills for what they are – working, we live free to walk in the hope, love and grace that is Jesus.
I think I hear God calling me today, to let go of performance, praise and perfectionism. I pray, that with humble hearts, we all can let go of what we are not, to grab hold of all that Christ is (death that ends our death so that we can have life). The truth is that he rejoices over us and wants us to believe and activate the power he has already handed over.
“The LORD your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zeph. 3:17
They start small until they climb on your back and squeeze the air of faith right out of you.
They have a way of making the stack of bills reign higher than the power of God.
The medical issues stand taller than God’s capacity to care.
The relational problems break you into tears rather than into submission to the One who knows.
They are called mounting issues. Personal. Medical. Relational. Financial. Mental.
They take you on a ride like this:
1. You start with faith, looking straight ahead at God.
2. You talk with people, think of the issue and dwell on the problem and get afraid.
3. Your eyes start to look left, and right and left and right.
4. Your worst nightmare starts to take form.
5. You become sure of it’s overwhelming power to take you down.
Then they make you feel like this:
I’m going down.
It will never work out.
God, where are you?
They will always hate me.
I will never recover.
I will never be left the same.
I can’t do it.
I am horrible.
Problems of today have a way, of making us fear the feelings of yesterday.
I remember the fortress of my school.
The incapability of one girl who was powerless to change anything.
Who was uncertain about the next pain that may come my way.
Who felt the result of people’s issues rather than a product of their love.
I remember the embarrassment.
That past mocks all my dreams. It reminds me that pain will repeat.
It reminds me I either need to fight or flight.
What does the past claim true about you – today?
The reality is – it’s gone, and fighting proves worthless because you can’t fight something that isn’t real; if it’s not truth it simply doesn’t exist.
But, hushing away feelings never works. The only way to go is to see the one who sees far more than the stalker of fear living in your mind. To see the one who waits, looking, hoping, believing that you will see him – the one who is always following you.
And, while you may think it is over, he doesn’t.
He knows it has only just begun.
Because he is ready to come close, to know, to stay with. He is ready and willing to aid and assist.
He is amazing that way.
He sees the inadequate, unable, and unsure one and says, “You can do it with me, because of me and for me. Stay right there with that truth. You will be okay.”
He spoke these same kind of words to Joshua -the second string, the rookie. He spoke belief into a man who had monumental issues in front of him: uncertainty, a sea that stood in his way and a towering fortress shining his incapabilities.
He said, “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Josh 1:5
What if God was to show up and to say that to you?
“Hey (fill in name here),
I was with Moses,
so I will be with you (name),
I will never leave you or forsake you.”
Might these words make a difference?
Might you remember the bush, the manna, the Red Sea, the God, the hope,
the promises, God’s faithfulness to you?
Not if you just heard them, but if you really believed them.
Perhaps, then, you, like Joshua, might think,
“Wow, this God is really for me.”
Perhaps then you would have the courage to open your sea of despair to allow a new heart of courage to carry you to your promised hope. “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.” Josh. 3:5
Perhaps then, you might set your forehead-to-floor knowing one stands higher than all your perceptions. Then Joshua fell facedown to the ground in reverence, and asked him, “What message does my Lord have for his servant?” Josh. 5:14
You might even hear the way to go, the heart to have and the whispers of truth
rise above the status of your bank account, your health check-up or your kid’s report card.
You might even have the heart to march around what stands against you to shout the truth of God over it, around it and before it to see God work through it. And to, even, maybe, see it all fall down (if that is what God has planned for you).
On the seventh day, march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets. When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have the whole army give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse and the army will go up, everyone straight in.” Josh 6:4-5
Imagine seeing the walls of pain and piles of grief standing before you crumble. They aren’t bigger than your God.
The truth is that in all cases he may not make them completely disappear, but God has the power to crumble circumstances authority over your feelings.He has the authority to set you on a new path, to forge a new way to bring you into the promised land of his peace.
Hear the words the Lord said to Joshua as he was preparing to be courageous and do not let them lightly pass over you (seize them as he seized the city): “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Josh 1:9)
Mounting issues, the past and our feelings are not our inheritance, God’s promises are – and we have already made it to the Promised Land, let’s lay claim to it much like the Israelites.
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—
3 #RaRalinkup Updates:
1. Sign up for the NEW Cheerleaders 4 Christ #RaRa Facebook group page (this is different than the prayer one I set up). We will be rolling out a new element to the #RaRalinkup that I want you to be a part of. Details are forthcoming soon. Join here.
2. RSVP for the #RaRalinkup breakfast at She Speaks. Exciting news, prizes and challenges will be shared at this event.
3. Visit next Monday. All of the bloggers who submitted guest posts will be featured on July 13. I couldn’t pick just one, this is not the spirit of the #RaRalinkup or this blog. All win, all are chosen, all are loved! Mark this day in your calendars. Support your sisters by retweeting and mentioning them on Twitter. 🙂
I took down the pillars of protection to share my heart – and she trampled it.
She said, you really need to get over that feeling, you have to fix that.
It was a “What’s wrong with you?” comeback, to an “I already feel terrible” confession.
It hurt.
Was she right that I needed to change? Of course.
But did it make me want to? No way.
It made me want to add more and more pillars so that no person, no way, no how could knock the walls of my heart down again.
But should I?
Does it benefit me to become just as wrapped up as a present heading off to some distant land?
Wont this kind of approach keep me just that – distant?
I am tired of distance. I long for closeness. I long for unity. I long to see beyond name brands of clothes and schedules of kids and discussions on traffic. I long to know someone deeply, so deeply that they can speak in to my heart and that I may speak into theirs – empowered by God’s truth laser focused into deep needs.
I long for this and God does too. He tells me to be truthful.
But what do I do when the responses of others
want to shut me up as tight as a submarine in 800-foot waters?
Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment. Prov. 12:19
A moment is pretty much a waste – a momentary smile, a momentary cheer, a momentary friend.
I want what lasts, what counts, what heals, what works, what transforms. The answer is always Jesus. And Jesus was never so concerned with buttoning up his vest to hide that he missed all the opportunities to love.
Because of that, his love is always available to me…
As others batter me.
When the world comes against.
When I feel like running away.
His resurrection power awaits, when I feel body slammed to the ground of shamefulness.
Perhaps the greater lesson in sharing is learning that
my heart is not set on the ups-and-downs of others words,
but on the solid-rock of Christ.
Then I can follow through on God’s calling, which is to:
1. Encourage each other.
We feel most encouraged as we share and others see the real person God created us to be. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thess. 5:11
2. Confess to one another.
Sharing is the starting point to confession. Therefore confess your sins to each other… Ja. 5:16
3. Pray over healing.
You can’t heal what you don’t know about. …pray for each other so that you may be healed. Ja. 5:16
To breathe in the power of God, we must exhale the truth of our heart. As our spiritual hunger surfaces, his healing, love and power will seep into our deepest reaching infections.
Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. Mt. 7:6
Certainly, there is wisdom in this great unveiling. We share with those who understand the delicate nature of pearls. With people, who don’t reside in stinky places that want to make our stuff stink too.
May we have the wisdom to know the difference. May we see their dwelling places (trough or temple?), as we share the dwelling place of our heart.
We won’t always be protected from shame, but we will know God has us all the same.
And, perhaps we will see that:
The leap of spiritual growth is well worth the moment of vulnerable uncertainty and insanity.
Although we may feel naked, God sees us as we are – and loves us anyway.
Intimacy is the greatest way into the heart of God.
Deeper love. Deeper pursuit of God’s hole-filling abilities and a more powerful pursuit of Christ – this is all ours as we take down our pillars of protection to see through God’s eyes.
In a way – we can’t lose.
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Gal 6:2
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I felt down. Sometimes my emotions move with the wind, with the circumstances.
Certainly, I know God says not to be like one tossed to and fro like the doubting waves (Ja. 1:6). I’ve got this. I understand this. But, I still do this.
I don’t want to, but I do.
And then I hate myself for doing it – for being a doubting Thomas, demanding to see God’s purposes for the surrounding injuries.
Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Jo. 20:27
You arrogant girl, God doesn’t bless girls like that! He hates that.
Good “Jesus girls” don’t have to witness the details of the wounds to trust there is a better plan. So why do I?
I don’t have to see the holes to know that God put them there for a good reason. Can’t I trust? Can’t I just see that the pain of today is there because God has a plan in tomorrow?
Many times I can. Other times I can’t.
And, when I can’t, shame becomes the holding cell that distances me from God.
Certainly, grace keeps the jail cell doors wide open, unlocked and unobstructed, but shame holds me in, telling me this is where I belong – contained and convicted. It bars my mentality to a purposeless state. It makes me feel like a life-sentenced prisoner doomed to isolation for my bad behavior as a Christian mess-up.
Girls who act like that never get out. They can’t be used without faith.
The bars of this cell open and close like clockwork:
1. Emotions of fear lead to…
2. Doubts about God which lead to…
3. Shame about my doubts, which leads to…
4. Distance (due to: embarrassment, worthlessness, anxiety) from God
But, I am tired, dead tired of being trapped in a cell – a cell that doesn’t have to be literal to trap you. I am tired of breathing in the anxiety of God’s wrath and the fear of my worthlessness.
Because the truth is, this cell is dingy, old and full of fear; it’s not helping me much anyway.
I have the bounty of grace right before me, and it’s about time I seize it.
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free” Lu. 4:18
And I did something different and it worked! I was astonished.
Let me explain:
1. Know your past. Where you were hurt in the past is likely where you will feel damaged in the future. Old dog, same tricks. The devil knows our sore spots and he loves to reopen them.
2. Identify in God’s word the truths that hit your past and current pain points.
3. Speak these truths over yourself. Proclaim them. Speak them. Preach them. Teach them. I don’t care, just get up and walk around and own them. Rather than sitting like a prisoner waiting to be someone’s fresh bait, step up and realize Jesus was already the (perfect and complete) bait for you. He won and you will win too – come the day of Christ Jesus.
4. Believe in the words you say. Receive the full authority that Christ has placed in you, by the power of his Spirit, when you believed. Don’t half heartedly pray or meekly say, “I trust.” Make your words your anthem, your pledge of allegiance, your covenant. Let them be binding truth and declarative words.
(Please note: I am not talking about declaring riches or blessings over yourself, I am talking about declaring truth about who God says you are and what he has done.)
Here is what it looked like for me:
(Imagine: Standing Kelly, walking Kelly, powerful Kelly, vocal Kelly, speaking aloud) Lord, you reign. There is none beside you. There is none more powerful. You don’t hold doubts against me, as I confess, you forgive me. You free me to your purpose. There is absolutely no condemnation in Christ Jesus. I am loved, entirely, fully, completely. You bring all truth to light and you set captives free, you will set me free. You have a plan and you will see it through…(and you get the point).
But, the point is, the more I spoke, the more I believed, and the more I believed, the more I felt relieved.
His active Word cut sharply through the sludge of my mind to unveil the new creation that I am – to myself. As the junk moved, the truth shined.
Christ’s power, mixed with the illuminating light of the Spirit, always uncovers truth.
Yesterday, I came doubtful, afraid and as spazzed as a kid on sugar, but through belief and ownership of his Word, I seized God’s renewing power for myself. I didn’t see the enemy near. I didn’t see my problems. I didn’t see trepidation. I didn’t see my regrets. I realized that the enemy cannot stand against one standing up.
I am a warrior for Jesus – and he doesn’t need wimps, he needs fearless children unafraid to speak truth.
Who run to the tomb no matter the cost.
Who see a mission during their long wait for the Promised Land.
Who see the dead things around them and speak life into them.
We are these warriors.
Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle; he is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and he in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.
Ps. 144:1-2
How can we be warriors when we sit downtrodden in cells of worthlessness and shame?
God has life-altering power ready to be poured out over us. Do we speak it like we believe it?
Lets us live in the purpose that Christ has already won for us.
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