I am good at organizing my faith. It means I line up all the little pieces of my life in a straight line and expect them to fall like perfect dominos.
I expect my plans to fall into place. I expect that the dominos will hit the ground – and not me as I sin. I expect that my perfectly placed pieces will keep my faith in a straight line.
Perhaps, this is why I feel so devastated, so demolished and so pushed over when I do wrong. It is as if all my attempts to control my faith, my sin and my progress press on my shoulders, compacted and ruined.
It’s nearly back-breaking.
How can God’s ways be light when this work seems so hard?
Is this light-load wording really even truth?
Because if it is, I am living by a lie. Again and again, my faith falls and I do too.
But, what if? What if? I am looking at everything all wrong?
What if my inability to carry, isn’t so much because of him – but, because of me?
One with the weight of shame,
can’t really pass out the grace of Christ.
One whose hands cover her face,
can’t let God hold her hand.
One who laying down in despair,
can’t see up in hope.
One lining everything up,
can’t help but take everything personally when it all falls down.
And, in a heart-pumping way, I can’t help but think, maybe this line of thinking is real progress.
Because my way = the wrong way. God’s way = a chance to see his work at play.
God’s way is his Word and it restructures our approach:
Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy. . . Jude 1:24
But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God. Jude 1:20
The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” Luke 17:5
And he said to the woman, Your faith has saved you; go in peace. Lu. 7:50
He makes us stand before his presence.
He grants us joy. He keeps us from stumbling. He holds us in the love of God as we pray in the Spirit. He increases our faith as we ask him. He makes our faith win when we rely on him.
We don’t need us, we just need him. We don’t need strategy, we just need prayers. We don’t need plans, we just need the Spirit. We don’t need holy roller practices, we just need help.
Every time, we need his help.
All the time, we need his help.
Every hour, we need his help.
Bottom line, as our heart cries out for faith by his Spirit, he will keep us and help us. He makes our load light as we lay our load on him.
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Days where these kids head to time-out, over and over, despite the repeated talks on love.
Days when work doesn’t work-out.
Days when the marriage just goes off kilter.
Days when friendships irk.
Days when finances continue to dwindle.
Days when God doesn’t immediately show up. Days that can turn into weeks…
It’s days like these when you wonder why in the world things don’t work better when you are working so hard?
It’s days like these that compel your heart to want to give up, to run and hide.
Why is it that the train-wreck days sometimes seem far easier to get over than these kind of slow-gnaw-type-of-days?
At least with the train-wreck days, you can clean up the toys at the end of the day and start over with a clean slate. You can file these days away in the “once-in-a-blue-moon” cabinet knowing they won’t repeat too soon.
But, slow-gnaw days are called faith-busting day. Over time, they cut your faith away.
They make you question your worth, your heart, your value, your plans, and your God.
They make me lay in the bed, look up at the ceiling, and say, “Why do I even try, God. When are you coming through? What do I have to do?”
We tend to think that way, don’t we?
That for some reason, we are responsible to fix the hand of God.
As if our actions are the precursor to his decisions.
Who owns the hand of God – HIM or me?
Yet, I think of another who had a serious loss of heart. I think of another who had a series slow-gnaw days that could have eaten him alive – if he let them.
Imagine hearing these words:But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. Luke 22:32 And then hearing this:“I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.” Lu. 22:34 Only to do this: “I don’t even know him!” Lu. 22:57
Might Peter thought, “I’d never! That day will never come! I am strong!” Likely.
But he did – 3 times he did. And he wept. Beyond that, I imagine the next days must have been excruciating as he, probably left in discouragement and despair, saw his savior crucified, dead and buried.
What happened to his purpose?
What use was his life, after in Jesus, he practically twisted the knife?
Peter’s actions must have gnawed worthlessness, pain and struggle.
But, Jesus never leaves the failures, the forgotten or the futureless.
Peter’s inability to stick it through in the moment didn’t disqualify him from Jesus’ love, neither did his past actions.
Nope. Remember this? “But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail.” Luke 22:32 And, it didn’t.
How often do we arm ourself up with faith like Jesus did for Peter? His prayer was answered.
How often do we pray preemptively for war? We are at war.
I can only speak for myself, but with faith like mine,
I should make this prayer my living-mantra.
Because it worked for Peter who:
Was bound up in forgiveness and recommissioned by Jesus with the words: “Tend My sheep.”
Was filled by the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, to preach and lead 3000 to Christ.
First cried for himself, and later cried with passion for the church built above his foundation.
Spread the gospel far and wide with crazy love for his Savior.
Completed his life as the rock – to the point of death, not as sand – breaking under the pressure of life.
We think Jesus uses heroes, he often used the ones who felt like zeros.
We think it’s about perfection, but it’s simply about his resurrection.
We think Jesus looks for the perfect, but he always finds the willing.
We try to be faultless, but God grows the repentant faulted.
Peter was never disqualified because he doubted.
His days were never marked as fake and tossed out like bad meat
(we read his lessons time and time again).
He wasn’t left in the dust without a purpose or a cause.
He hit gnawing days, battling days and downright discouraging days, yet Jesus chose him, ate with him, replenished his heart and restored his mission so he could go awesome, outstanding and amazing distances for God’s glory.
He waits to do the same with us; Jesus waits to recharge us into his purpose.
What is really amazing is, after all was said and done, Peter, wasn’t just changed for himself, so he could reach some high-and-lofty goal like sitting at the right hand of God, or going before God, or looking good to man, but he was changed to one who learned to deny self (no matter the cost).
He became chief-tender over Jesus’ greatest love – the sheep, just as Jesus always believed he would.
Jesus said to Peter (pre-denial), “And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:32
And, Peter did.
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2 #RaRalinkup Updates:
1. Sign up for the NEW Cheerleaders 4 Christ #RaRa Facebook group page (this is different than the prayer one I set up). We will be rolling out a new element to the #RaRalinkup that I want you to be a part of. Details are forthcoming soon. Join here.
2. RSVP for the #RaRalinkup breakfast at She Speaks. Exciting news, prizes and challenges will be shared at this event.
I felt down. Sometimes my emotions move with the wind, with the circumstances.
Certainly, I know God says not to be like one tossed to and fro like the doubting waves (Ja. 1:6). I’ve got this. I understand this. But, I still do this.
I don’t want to, but I do.
And then I hate myself for doing it – for being a doubting Thomas, demanding to see God’s purposes for the surrounding injuries.
Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Jo. 20:27
You arrogant girl, God doesn’t bless girls like that! He hates that.
Good “Jesus girls” don’t have to witness the details of the wounds to trust there is a better plan. So why do I?
I don’t have to see the holes to know that God put them there for a good reason. Can’t I trust? Can’t I just see that the pain of today is there because God has a plan in tomorrow?
Many times I can. Other times I can’t.
And, when I can’t, shame becomes the holding cell that distances me from God.
Certainly, grace keeps the jail cell doors wide open, unlocked and unobstructed, but shame holds me in, telling me this is where I belong – contained and convicted. It bars my mentality to a purposeless state. It makes me feel like a life-sentenced prisoner doomed to isolation for my bad behavior as a Christian mess-up.
Girls who act like that never get out. They can’t be used without faith.
The bars of this cell open and close like clockwork:
1. Emotions of fear lead to…
2. Doubts about God which lead to…
3. Shame about my doubts, which leads to…
4. Distance (due to: embarrassment, worthlessness, anxiety) from God
But, I am tired, dead tired of being trapped in a cell – a cell that doesn’t have to be literal to trap you. I am tired of breathing in the anxiety of God’s wrath and the fear of my worthlessness.
Because the truth is, this cell is dingy, old and full of fear; it’s not helping me much anyway.
I have the bounty of grace right before me, and it’s about time I seize it.
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free” Lu. 4:18
And I did something different and it worked! I was astonished.
Let me explain:
1. Know your past. Where you were hurt in the past is likely where you will feel damaged in the future. Old dog, same tricks. The devil knows our sore spots and he loves to reopen them.
2. Identify in God’s word the truths that hit your past and current pain points.
3. Speak these truths over yourself. Proclaim them. Speak them. Preach them. Teach them. I don’t care, just get up and walk around and own them. Rather than sitting like a prisoner waiting to be someone’s fresh bait, step up and realize Jesus was already the (perfect and complete) bait for you. He won and you will win too – come the day of Christ Jesus.
4. Believe in the words you say. Receive the full authority that Christ has placed in you, by the power of his Spirit, when you believed. Don’t half heartedly pray or meekly say, “I trust.” Make your words your anthem, your pledge of allegiance, your covenant. Let them be binding truth and declarative words.
(Please note: I am not talking about declaring riches or blessings over yourself, I am talking about declaring truth about who God says you are and what he has done.)
Here is what it looked like for me:
(Imagine: Standing Kelly, walking Kelly, powerful Kelly, vocal Kelly, speaking aloud) Lord, you reign. There is none beside you. There is none more powerful. You don’t hold doubts against me, as I confess, you forgive me. You free me to your purpose. There is absolutely no condemnation in Christ Jesus. I am loved, entirely, fully, completely. You bring all truth to light and you set captives free, you will set me free. You have a plan and you will see it through…(and you get the point).
But, the point is, the more I spoke, the more I believed, and the more I believed, the more I felt relieved.
His active Word cut sharply through the sludge of my mind to unveil the new creation that I am – to myself. As the junk moved, the truth shined.
Christ’s power, mixed with the illuminating light of the Spirit, always uncovers truth.
Yesterday, I came doubtful, afraid and as spazzed as a kid on sugar, but through belief and ownership of his Word, I seized God’s renewing power for myself. I didn’t see the enemy near. I didn’t see my problems. I didn’t see trepidation. I didn’t see my regrets. I realized that the enemy cannot stand against one standing up.
I am a warrior for Jesus – and he doesn’t need wimps, he needs fearless children unafraid to speak truth.
Who run to the tomb no matter the cost.
Who see a mission during their long wait for the Promised Land.
Who see the dead things around them and speak life into them.
We are these warriors.
Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle; he is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and he in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.
Ps. 144:1-2
How can we be warriors when we sit downtrodden in cells of worthlessness and shame?
God has life-altering power ready to be poured out over us. Do we speak it like we believe it?
Lets us live in the purpose that Christ has already won for us.
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Bloggers, there are a couple things to take note of:
God abandoned me in my time of need. He left his daughter in the desert of nothingness. The blessing-keeper forgot his role. The one who was supposed to come through, didn’t.
I am not afraid to admit for a moment, I whined like this – like a baby.
I didn’t get what I wanted.
Waaa!!!! I cried, until I found my daddy and found consolation in his arms. As he held me in love, I could start to grab hold of the truth: not getting could be God’s bigger gift. It highlights the barriers blocking contentment.
It was a lightbulb, sight-in-the-darkness, there-is-power-in-the-pain kind of moment.
Surely, when we “get” – all is good. We are happy, joy-filled and thankful, but, what happens when we don’t get the good gifts we expect?
Here, we start to see what our heart is really after.
Our spiritual thought life surfaces.
We can take notice of our sprint (or crawl) time to prayer.
Do we throw a temper tantrum
or do we temper our hearts in the truth of God?
The desire, idols and pursuits of our heart shine in this place. We can see them for what they are.
What do you see when God doesn’t give to you?
Our tantrums highlight the great heart work will complete.
He sees our pain and it certainly doesn’t pains him too.
But, he allows it because he is working something even more magnificent, more fantastic and more glory-filled than our initial want.
Many times, he doesn’t settle for the immediate gift, because he is working an entire heart makeover.
“Not getting” teaches us how to put this (often seemingly impossible) verse into action:
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Phil. 4:12)
God’s best gift is learning how to keep our dedication
as steady as an arrow
and our feelings as sure as a bullet,
despite the size of the enemy coming against.
Then we can find true joy and peace.
This gift lasts forever.
It doesn’t rust and end up in the attic months later.
When we find God, we find stability. Not stability due to a circumstantial blessing, hope, dream or wish, but steady footing in the knowledge he is bringing us to a better place.
I pray, today, that I can see all that I don’t get as an indicator of all that I already have. I pray that I will take notice of my heart condition to see how it may need a course-redirect. I ask God not to always give me what I want in order that I can receive the better gift, which is him. The power is not in the getting, but in the beholding.
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I have been on a wild and crazy hunt to figure out how to get more of God – into me.
It’s wild because I often live in the wilderness – in the rocky ups and downs of faith. It’s just wild that a great God like him would want to dive into the disobedient heart of a girl like me. My head says yes, but sometimes, my heart says, it’s too off his beaten path.
It’s crazy because, I can’t even conceive how someone so “everywhere” and “always”, so above-it-all and so robe-laden, someone who made everything and with so much to do, could want to reside in measly me? Aren’t there a lot more exciting and missional places that he wants to focus?
But, it’s true.
God practically offers us all of him on a golden platter saying, I give you my heart. Will you take it? He doesn’t offer a part, a sliver, a shard, a splinter; he takes his whole body and throws it on the table for us, for vulture-like beings who did nothing to earn his gift of death.
“Take and eat; this is my body.” Mt. 26:26
He offers, but do I even value his gift?
The truth is the presence of his body, his life and his power is the greatest gift I could ever receive.
But, I must make a choice to eat his spiritual nourishment.
When my stomach turns in knots,
when holes trip me up,
when I shake in the darkness,
I must look up, verses looking around and see the one who is always ready to be found.
He is always ready to lead me in right ways.
His hand leads to truth.
Truth leads to love.
Love leads to fearlessness.
Fearlessness leads to passion and joy.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 Jo. 4:8
I wonder how often I hold back me – from God?
I wonder how much I fear his presence in me
because he seems too great above me?
How often I fear condemnation?
Even though I know his condemnation doesn’t even exist for me (Ro 8:1).
I forget “he who began a good work will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 1:6)
How often do you hold back because you feel unworthy?
Or try to gain worthiness?
Even though it’s impossible to be the weight lifter of his power.
Only one can carry (and carried) that weight.
that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. Eph. 3:16-17
The reality is, we need to the strength of the Spirit so that we can welcome in the strength of the Savior.
Then, the strength of the Savior more and more pushes out
the strength of the sinner.
It’s like the Spirit does the internal cleaning,
so the temple is clean, prepared and ready to be inhabited.
Jesus silences sins through surrendered faith. The sinner is siphoned away and more and more the new creation takes over. The sinner’s fears are left in the dust; the Spirit and Jesus become the only ones to trust.
I want this to happen more and more for me, don’t you? This happens when we call on the power of the Spirit to expand the territory of the Savior.
It doesn’t matter where you live – in the wilderness, in trials, in temptation, in sin – confess and call. That’s it.
Then we will find the power of God will move in – to move out – all that keeps us from him.
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Just yesterday, I watched my husband and son in the pool. For them, it was fun and games. Laughs flew left, water flew right, my son bounced up, yet all that splashed into my heart was fear.
Cold, bitter, shiver-inducing fear.
Fear that erases smiles and creates armors of protection.
Fear that ruins snap-shot moments in families.
“I am not as good of a mother as he is a dad.” “My son really doesn’t like being with me that much.” “I stink at connecting.” “I can’t seem to approach him right.” “He will never love me.” “Let’s be honest, I am not really that good of a mother.”
Drenched with inadequacy, my fears were ready to send me out to fight or on a far-off flight.
All that seemed to bubble out of my heart was the idea that I am not lovable, not worthy and not good enough. It made me want to march right out to say, “Hey, what about me? Do you all even see me? I am good too! (imagine the hands on the hips)”
And, let me tell you, there would be consequences if I wasn’t acknowledged.
That’s how demands of “what about me” work. These ploys serve as the antithesis, the foil and the opposite of love. They topple down opinions, values and truths of others to erect their own statues of needs.
They basically say:
Hey, you, it’s all about me.
If I can’t fill that hole inside me, I will beat around the bush until I get what I need.
You better or I’ll ___________ .
If all else fails, I’ll simply shut down shop and take off!
Far from any cooler soaked victory, my feelings place me on the sidelines as if I play for team “better luck next time.”
Better luck, loser momma!
Why must I always be the winner? The SUPER MOM to the rescue?!
Perhaps, luck isn’t what I need, Jesus is.
It’s not super amazing, double with a half-twist dive into family praises that transforms me, but God’s entire wrapping over my life, my heart and all the steps I take. Because, the hard and fast truth is that some days, I will feel like a Super-loser (_____) (momma, worker, friend, spouse, sister, daughter, church member).
But, I can’t help but think that there are other loser _____s out there who need an understanding shoulder on which to rest their head. I know I need theirs. Because, there will be days, I won’t feel good enough and there will be days they won’t be good enough too.
When we open up our hearts to share “I-am-not-good-enough” moments, they become the passing point to the love of Christ.It is as if the doors of the drawbridge open and Jesus sails straight through to our precise destination of need.
Yet, so often we shut this part down. We say, “I am a loser today, I better put on some makeup.”
But, Jesus never said he cared much for makeup. And, he doesn’t care much for us making ourselves over with fake products to get what we need. They don’t work to well at covering shame anyway!
Winning status’ aren’t on his play board either- unless it’s about pouring out the victory that has already been won in Christ.
He has heard our prayers, now he wants our heart.
Jesus, convicts my heart. The truth is it’s not about my feeling good, looking good or winning good, but it’s about you loving good through me.
“So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last.” Mt. 20:16
Jesus models this so well.
He takes the those limping like the least of these,
to make them the most of these.
He rides in on a donkey, with the power of God behind him, to save the world.
He gets down onto a dirty floor, cuddles up next to the grime of another’s feet
and shows us the way.
Jesus never said, “Yo! Over here! See me! See my height, my stature, my awesomeness.”
He never said, “You better be perfect.”
He never said, “You will never feel bad.”
He simply says, “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31
So, as I start to put on that can-never-match-up cape, I hope I can stop to remember:
1. The Word of God drowns inadequacy with the promises of God.
2. Jesus tramples the idea that we should beat ourselves down for who we are today. He came to rescue us this way.
3. Less makeup = more chances to make up with our faith-floundering heart. Then, we can send it out to make up the world with the markings of Jesus’ love.
4. I would be a loser if it wasn’t for Jesus, but he stripped me of that status when he died on the cross, forever securing my title of “victorious in him.”
Bottom line: Jesus doesn’t care so much about feelings of superiority or even adequacy, as much as he does about his all-nourishing adequacy.
There is no one like him,
no one above him,
no one who can match him, or beat him or control him,
no other name reigns like his.
He is the everything of all we want to be…
he is the gate that opens to the humble road
that leads to the ultimate filling place of our deepest desires.
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Bloggers, are you attending She Speaks? Let’s meet for breakfast first thing Friday at the Embassy Suites (people not staying can still eat or have coffee there).
If you are going to She Speaks, there are 2 things to do:
1. Please RSVP here for the morning #RaRalinkup get together/breakfast.
2. Join the #RaRalinkup FB page to exchange more details and specifics.
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Get your week started off on the right track with this 2-minute encouraging video.
5 Ways to Fight the Tricks of the Devil
This past week, my eyes were on God, but it felt like my heart was being towed to Never Never Land. I didn’t want it go, but away it went. People, issues, problems, doubts, uncertainties and fears all came into sight, as my great God moved far from sight – into the horizon of peace, where I surely wasn’t.
Shame backfired in my heart, burning me with the thoughts, “You have issues. Big issues. God doesn’t value a girl like that. God has left you.”
Ahem. What?!
Now we all know that these words aren’t true.
But in the moment, lies seem as true as the rabbit that magically appears out of the hat,
don’t they?
Sometimes, in order to see truth,
we have to take a different position to see the reality of what is happening.
Then we get a chance to shift our mindset from the destructive power of feelings
to God’s instructive hand of healing.
We begin to see:
“You stink” is really sent from one who wants us to sink.
“Not enough,” is an attempt by the great thief to replace Gods’ “more than enough”.
Utterances excluding grace are like shots of mace sent to blind our face.
The devil loves to use fear as the springboard to inadequacy. Because then, he can plunge us into the ocean of shame, if we don’t step off that mind-dizzying, nausea-inducing board of agony quick enough.
God never condones oceans of condemnation.
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. John 3:17
Knowing Christ never condemns helps me see the one who always does.
I don’t want to be listening to his lies.
5 Ways to Drive out Lies and to Drive in God’s Truth
1. Determine which Father to serve. The father liar or Father God?
You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires…there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
Jo. 8:44
When we acknowledge our wrong direction, we can finally get on the right one.
2. Let God take his rightful standing. God is higher than opposition, man or my feelings.
But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” Mt. 16:23
When we tell the devil to get back, we invite God to step forward.
3. Pledge allegiance to the one who has already claimed me. Allow the General of Love to rule over thoughts and actions.
I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming.
He has no claim on me… Jo. 14:30
When we realize who has already claimed us, we also realize who has no claim on us.
4. Get low to grow. So I don’t have a hard go.
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Ja. 4:7
Submission leaves no permission for the devil to enter in. He flees.
5. Recognize: what God sees goes much farther than me.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD. Is. 55:8
The vantage point of God is all-knowing, all-powerful and just-right. His will will be done. We can fight by our might or let go by his will. The choice is ours.
God is always waiting for us. His truth will always set us free.
As we break down God’s truth,
lies break down, leaving space for God to breakthrough.
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Bloggers, be sure to join us tomorrow for the #RaRalinkup on Purposeful Faith. All are welcome.
When I saw it, I immediately knew something was wrong.
The A, B, Cs where there. I was anxious, burdened and out-of-control as I cast my eyes on what was asymmetrical, border-weird and color not-normal.
My days of laughs in the sun,
felt like they were being exchanged for tears at the mirror
as I looked at my back from every angle known by man.
The possibility of cancer, the pain of removal and the fear how long it had been there swung like a wrecking ball in my chest. Whatever was resurrected for Jesus, was all broken today.
Have you ever noticed that, a heart that dwells on the looming possibilities of fear,
tumbles down the great possibilities of God?
I’ve noticed.
It’s a pack-up-your bags, furious move from residing under the shadow of God’s wing to living in a battle-soaked village of doom and gloom.
The more I looked at that mole, the more I knew I had to do something. So, I picked at it. Then, I started to rub. With no progress, I grabbed the great tool of exfoliating cream and dug into it.
This thing was coming off!
I rubbed some more…
Until all that remained was the bloodied marker of all that was threatening me
and an open sore filled with discouragement and embarrassment.
That’s how it is with worry, isn’t it?
The more we move the chair of our thoughts back and forth over that same spot,
the more we dig deep tracks of distrust into our heart.
We rub, and rub and rub – the same spot.
The more we dig deep these tracks of distrust, the more we follow these ill-conceived tracks to illogical solutions.
We rub with exfoliating cream.
We ruin the floor of our faith with the imaginations of our future. We take action to things only God had the best action for. What ruminates in our mind, dominates in our life.
Then we ask:
God, where are you? God, why did you let this happen? God, do you not care? God, are you going to let _____ happen?
It’s like we allow our all-powerful problems
convict our seemingly low-power god –
a god who is entirely lacking in the love department.
We get squinty-eyed at the one who loves us most. We do what we don’t want to do.
God, return my heart and my presence back to you. I am sorry.
Confession is the flashlight to clarity.
Worry doesn’t stop what destroys, it just steals joy.
Worry self-centers us. People, needs and ministry move to the outskirts.
Worry erases the idea that we are living for God’s glory, his plan and his will.
It makes invisible the prayer, “Thy Will be done.”
Worry is like a bouncy ball stuck in a box, it will keep you up all night and get you nowhere.
Worry places our eyes on our present problems, rather than our present God.
What do I really believe?
Do I believe God is an all-sufficient problem handler or do I believe that he is absent, I am all alone, in the woods, by myself, fending against all my worst fears by the strength of my own might?
Is God the warrior or am I?
The truth is: God has us, he won’t let us go, he has a plan, he will bring us through all pain, he will provide for our every need, he will not forsake us, he will never let us go, he will not let our foot slip, he will pick us up if we fall, he will guide us through suffering as he has suffered, he will bring glory to our pain, he will lead others to know him through our trials.
But the real question is, do I believe this deep down -where it counts?
Hearts that believe God is good, give thanks for their good God.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Phil. 4:6
Thanks breathes in God and exhales bitterness. Thanks makes us see all we have versus all we could lose. Thanks brings into remembrance all of his past faithfulness.
Thanks puts into perspective our present perspective.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:7
What can you find to be thankful for?
What praise can you immerse your one-track mind in
so that you don’t rub yourself raw
with feelings of God-has-left-me?
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My mouth says I want to “run with endurance the race that is set before (me)”, (Heb. 12:1), but my feet often go in the opposite direction.
I get set, and ready to go, until I fall and am ready to cry.
It’s a dichotomy I just can’t beat.
I snap back at my husbandwhen I know a kind word turns away wrath.
Prov. 15:1
I think bad thoughts towards a rude personwhen I need to forgive as I have been forgiven. Col. 3:13
I yell at my children, when God says to bear up under one another in love.
Eph 4:2
I judge a sister in Christwhen God tells me to first look at the log in my own eye.
Mt. 7:3
I take pride in my workwhen God tells me at the proper time I will be exalted.
1 Pet. 5:6
While my mind says, it’s all for you God, I am running hard and fast for you, my actions say, “it’s still kind of all about me.” I can’t let go. I can’t break through. I can’t succeed with God.”
The pounding of my feet on the sidewalk of God’s mission, start to turn into fists pounding on my heart, saying “Why can’t you just do better?”
Pound. You gotta get it together. Pound. People won’t see Christ in you. Pound. Are you really a Christ follower when you mess up so much? Pound. You are selfish.
And one who is beaten to the ground, can’t be running a good race for Jesus.
One who is pounding themselves, can’t be pounding the ground.
One fallen, can’t be encouraging others.
They can’t “Run in such a way as to get the prize.” (1 Cor. 9:24)
As I investigate my heart, my sin, and my desire, I am coming to see that God understands this roadblock too.
In order to run, run, run, we are instructed to unload, unload, unload: “let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance…” (Heb 12:1)
Why?
so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. (Phil 2:6)
Jesus understands the struggle of a heart striving towards him. He doesn’t come to point our our lagger tendencies. He tells us to unload and rise up. To let go, and to move our feet. To say I am sorry, and to speed into his love. To send the failure fits to the sidelines and to move forward in faithful fury.
I’ve noticed, as I can let that go, I no longer feel like a girl running in circles, I no longer feel like the big loser on Olympics day, but instead I start to move forward – in a straight line – gliding into forgiveness, forging into peace, wholeheartedly striding into hope and joyfully pumping into the cheering applause of my loving Savior who roots me on with all that he is.
So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. 1 Cor. 9:26
The question is not will I fall, because I will. The question, is – will I unload, confess and believe the promises of God (aka – get back up again), because this is where the race is won. This is where I stop pounding myself for every bad action and start pounding the streets with the message of Jesus Christ crucified and glorified.
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Today I am linking up with the fabulous Suzie Eller for #LiveFreeThursday.
If your a blogger, don’t miss out on the Purposeful Faith #RaRalinkup every Tuesday. Link up to this weeks post.
I want to stand upright when hurricane winds come. “With God, I am strong.” I want to not be concerned with the earth falling all around me. “God has me.” I want to not let my fruit not get dried out by circumstances.“God has the best in mind.”
But I don’t, instead I tend to fall over like a redwood with no roots when the winds come. Worry grips me and the crash resounds so loudly in my heart. It’s the weight of I should have done better, I wish I acted differently, I can’t believe I didn’t trust.
But God says, the man who trusts in the Lord is blessed. (Jer. 17:7)
I want to be that woman – full, complete, with entire trust in God.
And what God says in verse 8, really gets my heart pumping for more:
They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” (Jer. 17:8)
We can steer clear of fear, stay green when life gets mean, not have bouts of doubt in the drought and share the spirit rather than throw a fit?
Now, I am listening.
If I can just plant my roots down.
so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend…and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Eph 3:17-19
One who has faith in Jesus – and believes what he says – is nearly unreachable by the devil.
One who has their deep earthly arms wrapped around the love of Jesus, can’t be pulled off of him when circumstances strike.
One who knows the cost of the cross and draws strength from the purchaser of all sin – let’s that sacrifice keep them in a place of eternal standing.
One who clenches the truth with all their might, isn’t afraid to some roots show. They glow to the world and highlight the giver of all sustenance.
One who is rooted, gets the fullness of God,
not just for themselves but to share with the world.
God holds the one upright whose arms reach deeply and steadfastly
into his Word to seek out all that he is.
This one stands tall, firm and powerfully.
All of this gets me wondering,
how can the devil cut down a tree with roots so plentiful,
so deep, so meaningful, so abundant and so apparent?
Must be hard.
When we deeply plant roots into the love of Christ, we become standing trees who raise our branches in continual worship. We suck in the living water of Jesus Christ and are renewed with his life-giving nutrients, embraced by his creation and stand tall in adoration and appreciation.
Deep roots, forged down, grip the heart of Christ; this is where strength is derived.
They extend needily into his sacrifice and hungrily into promises and God blesses that with renewal, replenishment and revival to the world.
From dead and wanting, to fed and giving in the blink of an eye.
From down and discouraged, to up and encouraged through the nails on the cross.
From hopeless and ruined, to hopeful and 100 feet tall through roots that can’t be touched by the world.
God’s fruit becomes our great food bank and it is the best tasting thing after fried ice cream.
I’ll take some of that – and all of the benefits of deep roots.
The bottom line? It comes down to: I (God) love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me. Prov. 8:17
We love God, we seek God, we find God, we find peace, we find life, we find love for others, we find hope in this world, we send it out and nothing can knock us down. Period.
Love = God
God = Love
Love = Deep roots that receive his love.
Love = The way to endure this life.
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