Category - doubt

When God Goes Silent (& 3 Ways to Reconnect)

June 9, 2017

approval, Contentment, doubt, faith, fear

Ever opened your bible to only hear crickets from God?
Ever felt like you and your Father were neighborhoods apart in connection?
Like you somehow lost your close standing next to your high King?

I feel this small creep. The creep of “something is not right,” the creep of pulling away, the creep of “I am not hearing as much.”

Small creeps away from God over days, turn into giant mile gaps over months.

What I have noticed is, the sooner my heart checks it’s receptivity to God, and adjusts its channels the more of a chance, I have of hearing his voice. Usually, I can avoid the “slow creep” seep – but I have to first start by being aware of when it.

The slow creep seep can be sneaky – if you aren’t aware that it can move in at any time.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are times God does go silent.

Sometimes he shuts down the music, the connection and here is why:

1. To help us remember God is God and we are not.

When you did these things and I kept silent, you thought I was exactly like you. Ps. 50:21

2. To settle our hearts in the deep places his trusting love.

The LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy. Zeph. 3:17

3. To handle “Kingdom causes” outside of our comprehension.

Why do You look with favor On those who deal treacherously? Why are You silent when the wicked swallow up Those more righteous than they? Hab. 1:13

What I want my heart to finally learn is that: God does what he does, but he always reigns from above, out of love.

This is always God’s MO, battle plan, driving force, and charge – every time.

On the other hand, sometimes the issue of silence is not founded in God’s plan it is founded in us. Like a cavity, we may have stored up so much decay that our faith bite loses its power.

Here’s how we remove decay and get back to the fullness of pleasure as we digest all the goodness of God:

1. We beat out bitterness.

Bitterness can be a byproduct of unforgiveness.
Who do you need to forgive – God, yourself or others?

2. We ask to hear and plead for God to come near.

O God, do not remain quiet; Do not be silent and, O God, do not be still. Ps. 83:1

When we ask, God listens.

3. We dive into the Word of God, to be replenished by his Words always read to bring truth.

He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.” Lu. 11:28

When we hear the Word of God, we hear God.

4. Worship the one who surrounds you with his glory.

…God’s invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. Ro. 1:20

See God around you and you will start to feel God well up in you.

5. Seek and serve up love in all you do by giving, helping, serving, opening up, receiving and pouring out.

No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 Jo. 4:12

The more we learn love (including the receipt of it), the more we feel God’s love.

The truth is – God is love. If we are operating from love, we are operating from the tabernacle of God’s goodness. Different days, call for different strategies. Sometimes, we are restored with his love, sometimes we are restored by a love of his Word and other times, we are restored to share

Different days, call for different strategies. Sometimes, we are restored – to love, sometimes we are restored – by His love and other times, we are restored – to search out greater love.

No matter what his call for you today, one thing is for sure, slow creeps are simply not from him. So, lets allow our hearts to creep back to the throne of the King of all care. He waits for us – with love.

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.
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3 Steps to Calm Anxiety

June 6, 2017

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, doubt, failure, faith, trials

19 Comments

I’ve battled the tightness of chest, the shakiness of body and the uncertainty of what is to come for quite a while. Only recently have I been able to win the war against what seems incurable: my anxiety.

Do you suffer from it?

It’s a feeling you can’t get ahead…
It’s surviving, with generalized gnawing…
It’s living with overwhelming tenseness because you feel out of control…
It’s bearing with the weight of the world on your shoulders…
It’s carrying irritation from others actions…
It’s a true sense of your inability to change things…

For so long, anxiety crept up on me like a lightweight spider; I didn’t know he was on me until his poison sank in. Then I knew, I was in for it. He saturated me in a way where it felt impossible to get well again. To fix things. Maybe you’ve been there. I wouldn’t wish it on my greatest enemy.

Anxiety has ruined family vacations.

It’s made me snap like an explosive.
It’s caused many a sleepless night.
It’s broken peace.
It’s stolen moments.
It’s made me self-consumed.
It’s made me angry at myself.

What has it taken from you? What has this poison done in your body? Life?

Only recently have I started to make headway against it.

Step 1 of progress is in acknowledging this: My anxiety is due to a gap I do not internally believe I have the power to bridge, control or fix.

Step 2 is deciding I am in charge of my feelings. No one else has the ability to: 1. Tell me how to feel. 2. Make me feel a certain way 3. Force me to have feelings or to act a certain way.

With this, I can imagine a holy box of God around me. In this space, I am permitted to feel as I feel without feeling bad about it. In this space, I am able to present to God the actual emotion I am feeling and the cause that set it off, without living under the weight of crushing judgment. Why can I do this? Because Jesus is my advocate. He forgives, heals and helps. He is behind me and for me. He also wants me to discover his peace. He loves me.

Step 3 is saying this: God, I do not have the ability to figure ______ (insert the trigger of the issue here) out. I need your help with how to respond. Will you show me how to stay with you in this space and place that feels scary? Will you show me how to lean on you when I am not sure how people will react or how well I will do? Will you be my protection as I respond in a way that is truthful – to you and to others? I can hand over to you the person, place or thing that is troubling my heart and be with you in the moment. Here, you will lead me and prompt me to move with your love, grace and mercy towards myself and towards others. I can trust you to be with me, even when I feel all alone.

This 3-step process has literally been my saving grace. When I feel the poison starting to rise up from within me, God’s grace towards my constricting heart makes all the difference. It frees me. The secret is: you gotta catch it early. Right when it starts.

And, when you don’t, it’s okay. Just try again next time.

Prayer for women like me who struggle like this: Dear God, here we stand before you, women who don’t have it all figured out, women who want to be better, women who struggle inside our own bodies. God, will you help us to rely on your truth instead of our feelings? Will you help us to put up healthy barriers between us and the world? Will you help us to take your peace you’ve given us and to keep it? We need you. We can’t do it alone. Please be our guide, Lord Jesus. You are the answer every time. We trust your ways and want to die to our own. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.
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When Fear Hit My Heart (+ An Invite from Kelly)

June 5, 2017

purposefulfaith

awe, Contentment, doubt, fear

1 Comment

Has your heart ever been broken? Mine has – by a woman nonetheless…

I remember standing on a field so many years ago – new at an all-girls school where bonds from middle school past already seemed tightly formed.

Could I make my way here?

I gave it my best shot. I practiced with intensity, hit every ball with power and ran so hard I felt like I might faint. Near buckling at my knees, I didn’t care – every move was a silent message to this new world: I am impressive, beautiful and desirable.

My effort will make them love me. My worth here will prove me lovable. I will belong to this club – even if it kills me…

Sweaty, panting and constantly smiling, eventually I made headway with the girl with the constantly swinging brown ponytail. She was nice. I was happy. We continued talking.

We will be great friends – me and brown ponytail girl. I was certain of it.

But, that wouldn’t happen, I would come to find out. You see, blond ponytail girl – the real all-star leader of this pack, had other plans: plans to point a finger at me from afar, plans to whisper, plans to grab brown ponytail girl’s hand, plans to pull her away, and plans to crush me.

Brown ponytail girl no longer gave me the time of day.

So, I gave up and stopped trying.
I was cut from the team.
Then, I gave up on the school.
I left it the next year, taking home with me the lesson: Women hurt women. They are scary and always will be.

Have women also scarred you on the inside?

In that place where no one can see, but you can always feel? In a way that makes you fear being hurt again?

You are not alone with your scars, this I know. Women hurt women, but here is the amazing part: women, through Christ, also heal women. Our stories, our lessons, our insight, our biblical truths – they bring light and life.

There is power in the radical realization: we are not alone in our struggle.

This is, in part, why I started the Journey Together Summit. I believe, we women are better together than apart. We best fight fear, when we remind each other God is near. And, through vulnerability, we access new dependability on God.

Healing happens in comforting quiet with God, but it also happens in the common conversations with women.

Might you want to discover the freedom God has for you, through the courage- building stories of other women?

And find healing today? Join me and 34 author experts (including a couple New York Times Bestsellers) for The Journey Together Summit. It is a free online event (Starting TODAY, but viewable after today) where we chat openly and transparently about fear, worry and anxiety. There are topics for everyone, including: unmet expectations, an unfair life, shame from the past, uncertainty of the future, worry, anxiety, feeling like a bad mom, marriage, intimacy, work issues and so much more.

Can’t attend these dates? We have a way for you to access everything on your own timeline. Discover more.

Relationships restore. What might God have for you if you were to begin fighting fear at The Journey Together Summit?

About Kelly Balarie

Author and Speaker, Kelly Balarie didn’t always fight fear – for a large part of her life, she was controlled by it. Yet, in her book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears, with God, Kelly charts a new course. Join Kelly, on the journey to go and grow with Christ’s bravery, the Spirit’s counsel and God’s unending love that squelches fear. Get all Kelly’s blog posts by email or visit her on her blog, Purposeful Faith. You can also find a variety of resources for your fight against fear at http://www.fearfightingbook.com/. Don’t forget to take part in The Journey Together Summit.

Filtering the Voices You Let In

June 2, 2017

purposefulfaith

approval, Contentment, control, doubt, faith

2 Comments

Two moms duked it out, while I tried to pull a floppy wet shirt off my body in the pool stall. I’d tell you all I wasn’t eavesdropping, but I’d be lying; I was 100% listening to every word that flowed from their mouths from the safe-confines of my bunker.

“Harvard is going to be such a far drive for my son come Fall. I don’t know how we are going to do it.” Said mom voice 1.

“Well, thank goodness, He’s going to Harvard because Stanford is farther and I get sick flying on airplanes, even in first-class.”

Now, these two, who I was sure were perfectly toned, impeccably made-up and outrageously beautiful, brought to the surface my every insecurity. And based on their words, I was scheming… trying to internally figure out how to corral my son, tie him down and drag him to the local tutoring session post-school… It’s not too much to ask a kid to do SAT questions at age 6 is it? A mom’s who starts early, wins.

My competitive juices were flowing. My mind racing and twisting and…all of a sudden – Godly wisdom struck: I don’t have to enter into this life-killing race with these women.

I can choose not to be a part of this rat race. I can unsubscribe.

Unsubscribing sounds like this: They can do what they want to or say what they say. They can work hard to acquire wealth, goods or status. They can talk about it. They can make it their life goal. But, just because that is what they are doing, doesn’t mean it is what I should be doing. What I should be doing is: making Christ my aim, making Christ my thoughts, making love my goal.

I can’t change people, but what I can change is: my mind, my thoughts and my goals.

This feels like freedom.

I sense there are some of you who need freedom right now too. Maybe from a person who is causing your mind to go to places God hasn’t invited it?

Right now, join me in asking God, “What words, goals or pursuits have I been allowing to take hold in my heart that are not from you?”

Listen for his response. Be aware of how God might be leading you.

Then, ask him, “How can I protect my heart in a better way?”

I believe he’s saying to me: “Kelly, everything you hear doesn’t have to go to your heart.”

And, I agree. Starting today, I’ll filter what I let in.

Thank you God, you are faithful.

Don’t Miss The Journey Together Summit, June 5-8! Join 34 leading authors with the sole mission of helping you discover new bravery. Whether you desire to be brave at home or at work, in your marriage or with your children, in ministry or in the mess of the day, dealing with a surprising life or just organizing it – this is the event for you. There is something for everyone with over 34 topics of fear covered (wait till you see them all!).

Want to win a bundle of 10-books here, enter to win here.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.
Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

4 Steps: Find Intimacy with God Again

May 26, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment, control, doubt, failure, faith, fear

2 Comments

When I haven’t made time for my husband, I get annoyed at the dishes left on the counter, I internally count the ways he’s forgetting stuff and I launch mean words. Distance creates more distance. It’s as if I see him through different eyes. It’s as if, he, the love of my life, I only kind of know. I rely on him less. I turn inward; I become self-reliant.

It happens just the same with God.

Consider Eve. The serpent came, lured her with something apparently better than intimacy. She bit off a hunk of it, hid, covered in shame and then heard God as a distant voice.

Sin distanced Eve, then Eve distanced herself.

How have you distanced God through guilt and shame laden choices? How are you choosing to distance yourself today?

Are you running, hiding, excusing, blaming, rationalizing, ignoring – the problem? No catastrophe has ever been diverted by ignoring it. But, you can overcome even the worst catastrophes with the help of the Overcomer.

The strategy of overcoming is simple: Come near to God and he will come near to you. Ja. 4:8

God calls us back. Here’s how to draw close again:

Return with confidence. All that exists at the throne of grace is grace; it pours out from him who is grace to us who need grace. We simply turn away from what kept us from God – and find Him.Therefore let us confidently approach the throne of grace to receive mercy and find grace whenever we need help. (Heb. 4:16)2
Remember there is no barrier. While there used to be a high priest who could go near to the “Most Holy Place” one time a year, today, through the hope of Jesus Christ nothing holds us back.You (for the law made nothing perfect), and a better hope is introduced, by which we draw near to God. (Heb. 7:19)
Reflect on the truth: Jesus is for you. The ultimate high priest lives to intercede for you. He is for you and working on your behalf.Therefore He is able to save completely those who come to God through him… he lives to intercede for them. (Heb. 7:25)
Respond with a sincere heart. You can be truthful because God is faithful. You can trust him to take care of you.Since we have confidence to enter the sanctuary by the blood of Jesus…let us draw near with a sincere heart in the assurance that faith brings… (Heb. 10:19-22)

“The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth.” (Psalm 145:18)

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.
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Don’t Wash Your Own Feet

May 22, 2017

purposefulfaith

approval, Contentment, control, devil, doubt

2 Comments

Post by: Candice Curry

There’s a picture buried deep in a box somewhere, stashed away in my mom’s closet. Staring back at you, from a worn out Polaroid picture, is a family who seems put together. The little girl squints her eyes to lessen the glare of the sun. She’s wearing a striped dress and her hair is carefully combed into two, long ponytails. The picture is filled with pinprick holes from someone moving it around the church bulletin board more than a few times.

It was one of the few occasions that I would actually wear a dress. I was a jeans and t-shirt type of girl. But, on the rare mornings when we actually made our way to church I thought I had to wear a dress or I wouldn’t be allowed in. I don’t remember a single thing about being there except that I felt we had to act a certain way and dress a certain way to fit in. I knew very little about what church meant or why we even went in the first place.

I thought Jesus was only for certain people. I thought Jesus was for people who had their lives together and never messed up. I thought Jesus was just for the people who spoke with eloquence and dressed like they had just walked out of a designer store. I wasn’t sure what sin really was or whose was worse, but I knew I didn’t want my dirty sins exposed. I didn’t want to go to church and let everyone see what a disaster I was. I didn’t want to face rejection.

The same feelings carried over into adulthood and I continued to fear Jesus for all the same reasons. I thought Jesus was only for the good people. I thought Jesus was for those without sin and those who navigated through life effortlessly. I thought he only shined on those types of people who were more like him and less like me.

So I stayed away.

I hid from church people.

I hid from Jesus.

I had walked through so much in life that the dirt on my feet was heavy and weighed me down. I dragged my feet everywhere I went and did everything I could to hide the evidence from other’s eyes. I promised myself I would wash them one day and present myself to Jesus when I was good and clean. Maybe then he would open his arms to me. Maybe if I could just be good enough, clean enough, rich enough, married, educated, the list was endless. Maybe if I could just wash the dirt off of my feet so he wouldn’t know where I’ve been.

When I was well into adulthood, married and a mother of 4, I started to attend the church near me because my cousin had signed my oldest daughter up for their choir program. I went out of support for my daughter and not my desire to be in church. I sat quietly in the very back of the sanctuary, under the dimmed lights, and tried my best not to be noticed. The congregation might not have seen me but God did.

And then I met him.

I met Jesus.

And he washed my feet for me.

I spent most of my life thinking I had to be perfect for Jesus to love me. No one ever told me that I could come to him just the way I was. No one ever told me that Jesus already knows about the dirt on my feet. I thought I had to transform into someone better for Jesus to be in my life. I didn’t know that I could come to him the way I was and that he would transform my life for me. He would be the one to wash the dirt off of my feet for me, gently and with mass amounts of grace and mercy.

You don’t have to wash your feet to be loved by Jesus.

You are accepted and loved exactly the way you are right now. No sin is too big, no failure too deep and no past is too dark. Jesus is for the broken and the lost. Jesus is for the underdog, the guy struggling to find a way. He’s for the broken hearts and bruised bones. He’s for the sinner and the thief, the liar and the cheater. He is for us, me and you. He loves us in our mess and through our mess. All we have to do is show up.

You don’t have to wash your feet.

Come as you are and Jesus will wash your feet for you.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Candice Curry, the author of the book The Con Man’s Daughter, spent years working in sales doing what she felt she had to instead of what she wanted to. Then she put her faith in God and gave it all up to share her story through writing. The daughter of a con man and convicted criminal, Candice started a blog as a form of therapy, which has grown into a worldwide ministry and landed her on TODAY and Good Morning America. A speaker and a contributor to The Huffington Post, Today.com, and several other sites, Candice has a passion to give hope to those suffering the pain of rejection, the burden of unforgiveness, and the emptiness of great loss. Candice and her husband, Brandon, have five children and recently welcomed her teenage sister into their home. They live in San Antonio, Texas, in the former home of her childhood best friend. Connect with Candice at http://candicecurry.com/.

Learn more about The Con Man’s Daughter.

Need Faith?

May 19, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment, doubt, faith, Freedom

1 Comment

My husband is a man of great faith. Where I see nothing, he sees something.

With this, he’s been trying to convince myself to lean back on my prayers and trust them. He’s calling me to step into what I felt God was leading me into. He’s calling me to rely on the fact: I don’t have to see it to believe it.

For your unfailing love is higher than the heavens.
Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.
Ps. 108:4

Having a posture of hope in God, when everything appears status quo, stuck and steady – is hard. It is seemingly impossible and this is the point, I suppose.

I think God planned it this way. We have to lean back on Him, the one we trust. We have to again acknowledge God as our God. Our trust in Him who has all power. Because it has to be supernatural. It has to pour from heaven. It has to be procured from his faithfulness.

The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
Ps. 3:22-23

What if, every morning God was prepared to pour out the very faith we asked for, but we only need ask? What if, rather than feeling God must be upset at us for our lack of belief, we simply remembered his lovingkindness and compassions that don’t fail?

How might things change? How might we progress? What might we step into?

For he loves us with unfailing love;
the LORD’s faithfulness endures forever.
Ps. 117:2

If you are faithful, by definition of that word: you are always faithful. So, He who is faithful – is faithful. He cannot be different. He cannot sometimes stand and sometimes fall. He cannot come to your rescue one day and not the next. We might not always see, or know or be able to summarize the whys, hows and because explanations, but still – God is – who God is – and who God is – is good.

What do you long for from God? What do you feel he started, but didn’t finish? What have you lost hope in?

Perhaps, you ask him to resurrect it? To rekindle the fire? To provide you the faith you need to carry it through?

For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Ps. 57:10

Prayer: God, help us to believe as we once did. Help us to see your limitless love and your endless compassion. You care for us. You are behind us. You want us do live well and do well for your kingdom. Increase our trust in you. Increase our reliance on you. And, most of all, pour out greater faith in our lives. Forgive us for our unbelief, and pour out what we need to go forward in all you have for us, God. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.
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When Change is Hard

May 17, 2017

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, control, doubt, fear

1 Comment

Usually, people trip over a specific moment and realize they need change: some wake up in a gutter, others see their mean reflection in a mirror and some can’t handle the monstrous reactions roaring out of their mouth. Usually, there’s something we want to change about ourselves.

What do you want to change?

For me? I want to change my instinct that assumes the worst. It is so frustrating! Because, so often, like a vending machine, what my mind dispenses is: my lack, my inferiority, and ideas on how other people must really think I am failing.

My mind makes me read into things that aren’t even true.

For instance, just the other day, my husband mentioned a friend of ours. How she prays unceasingly, loves her kids well and makes awesome dinners. I took it as a subliminal message from him to me: She rules and Kelly is uncool.

He actually meant none of that. What he meant was what he said: she prays, loves her kids and makes awesome dinners.

“Good for her! That’s fantastic.” If only I said that!

But, I didn’t.

What is it you’re not doing, but wish you were? What is it you believe others think about you?

Today’s message is simple to both you and me: Let’s not hate our trying-to-change moments. Let’s be nice to our self in process. Because life is hard enough and embracing change…well, it’s not always easy. Sure, we have a God who gently shapes us and leads us, but, at times, there are abrupt about-face turnarounds that need to happen or that are happening. Those can hurt.

Change doesn’t always come easy. Whether it’s the decision to stop smoking, swearing, staggering to bed with one too many glasses of wine in you or to simply responding with more care. Any of these things can easily make steady ground – shaky – if you don’t secure yourself in God’s compassion, grace and care.

So, today, let me leave you, fellow friends, people who may be experiencing shifting ground with one verse: The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. Ps. 103:8

Return to it. Often.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.
Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

The Choice Before Us

May 16, 2017

purposefulfaith

approval, blessings, Contentment, doubt, faith, hope

13 Comments

We sat in the parking lot staring blankly ahead with the doctor’s words still ringing in our ears.

“Some people just can’t have children. Now is when you need to start working on accepting that.”

We were stunned in spite of the clues. The previous years’ experiences had pointed to this moment – the months of negative pregnancy tests, the losses, the testing and exams and poking and prodding, they all pointed to the possibility of infertility. Except now it was real. Now it was our story.

In the weeks that followed our diagnosis I found myself facing a critical juncture in my faith. I could refuse to believe that God might have plans for my future that include infertility and I could live in a state of anxious denial (a place I’d been sitting in for too long already.) Or, I could do as the doctor suggested, and work toward finding acceptance and faith and peace. For several weeks I chose the former and it twisted my stomach and heart in knots. Then one day I chose the latter.

Sometimes peace is a choice. Peace is a choice that doesn’t always come naturally for me, though. I tend to be an anxious person who likes to be in control of, well, everything. I want to know exactly how the day will go and I want to be able to manipulate my surroundings to fit what feels safe, secure, and right to me. But life doesn’t often comply with my version of how things should be. This is where faith and fear collide for me.

Life has taught me I have a choice in how I respond to things outside of my control. Things like infertility. I can’t always control how I feel about these things – if I could take away my grief and pain I would… who wouldn’t? But I can choose to believe in peace and love and hope.

On one of the worst nights of my life – the night I returned from the hospital after losing our first baby – I turned to my Bible for something that would bring me comfort. I don’t think I really believed peace was possible in my grief, but I just wanted something to get me through the night. I flipped the pages and they eventually landed in the book of Isaiah, chapter 54. My eyes fell on verse 10 and I began to read…

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.”

In those words, I found everything I didn’t know I needed…

Unfailing love from the Father in the midst of tragedy and loss.
Peace that will never leave – no matter what.
And compassion for my broken and baffled heart.

In the months that followed, I found myself navigating the often lonely waters of grief and learning that I often wouldn’t feel peace, but Isaiah had told me it was there. So I made a choice to believe it, whether I felt it or not. Still today, I choose to believe that the peace that surpasses all understanding still covered my life even in times of turmoil. I choose to believe that hope is a fact.

I believe this is what Horatio Spafford had in mind when he penned the words to famous hymn, It Is Well with My Soul. After losing his son, his business, and then his four daughters (who drowned in a shipwreck) he wrote,

“When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to know*
It is well, it is well, with my soul.”

It is well. Or, as my son has taught me to say, “It’s Okay About It.” Saying, “it’s okay about it” or “it is well” doesn’t mean declaring that we are unaffected in the face of hardship and loss. It is simply choosing to believe that love, peace, compassion, and hope are true. That they are promises we can believe no matter what comes our way.

So though my heart broke in the pain of infertility and the grief of miscarriages I choose peace and hope, knowing that God will redeem my pain.

When my children suffer I remember God’s compassion for us.

When I face disappointment and rejection I declare the truth of God’s unfailing love.

When I face anxiety and panic over an unknown future and circumstances beyond my control I choose His covenant of peace.

Because of the truth of God’s word and the hope of heaven I can say with assurance, “It’s Okay About It.”

Lauren Casper is the founder of her popular blog, where she shares her thoughts on life, parenting, and faith. She is a top contributor to the TODAY Parenting Team and has had numerous articles syndicated by The Huffington Post, the TODAY show, Yahoo! News, and several other publications. Lauren speaks in various locations around the country at conferences, retreats, and church events. Some of her topics include: adoption and foster care, infertility, parenting children with special needs, building meaningful community, and facing fear.

Lauren’s first book, It’s Okay About It, released May 2, 2017. In it, Lauren shares poignantly simple yet profound wisdom about removing the barriers we construct around our hearts and doing life full-on, all from the least expected source: her five-year-old son, Mareto.

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How to Believe You are Really Loved

May 5, 2017

purposefulfaith

birth, Contentment, doubt, faith, fear

1 Comment

Post by: Arabah Joy

I remember looking at her.

I remember looking at her. Withdrawn. Held back. Unwilling to join the rest of the family. Unwilling to come.

I beckoned and smiled. Patted my lap. Extended the invitation like I’d done a thousand times before.

She stiffened.

Then, like a thousand times before, she turned away. Scars from past abandonment, neglect, and abuse held her like chains to her chosen spot. She would not come.

In those early days of adoption, it was like God had given a mirror to look in. I saw myself in her. I saw how woundedness had caused me to withdraw, how I braced myself against warmth because I’d believed the lie that I didn’t need it, didn’t deserve it. I convinced myself I could do without love and acceptance. Slowly, the cold I surrounded myself with had seeped deep into my soul and distorted my perspective of life, God, and myself.

I was hard. Jaded. A real cynic but didn’t even know it.

And then I adopted a wounded one.

In doing so, God revealed to me something I’d never allowed the core of my being to truly accept: I was loved.

Surely one of the saddest things ever is to be deeply and lavishly loved but not have the eyes to perceive it.

What a tragedy, to get to the other side of life and see how one could have lived- as a dearly beloved child of God- but having missed it. Adoption taught me there’s such a thing as failure to “lay hold.”

“…So that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.” Phil 3:12

Just as my Little Bit is of our household, never to leave, always identified with us, so we are in Christ. He is our brother, our family, and we are in the household of God. He has reached down and laid hold of you (Phil 3:12) and has taken you from the domain of darkness and abuse and rejection and pain and transferred you into the kingdom of the family- His beloved Son (Col 1).

We can sulk and hold back and piddle in the corner with our little pet toys… or we can reach out with both hands, press forward with all we’ve got, and lay hold of that which has laid hold of us.

I know what rejection is like. I also know the remedy for rejection is acknowledging the acceptance offered in Christ.

The remedy for neglect is embracing the love and warmth extended me in Jesus.

The remedy for abuse is running to the table of fellowship with Him, where I am always welcomed, loved, and nourished back to health.

Hiding out in the corner never did anyone any good … except the enemy who wishes to single us out from the rest in order to devour us.

As a mom, I knew I needed to help my precious one learn to embrace the new, push forward into the warmth, and lay hold. And that meant I needed to practice it myself too.

She and I began a messy, painful, glorious journey together. And last night at the dinner table, my Little Bit came and sat in my lap without being invited. WIN!! She has made such amazing progress in the nine years we’ve had her. I’m so very, very proud of her. I wouldn’t trade the healing we’ve both received for all the world! I’ve come to now how our Daddy feels when we trust Him and lean into His love, when we run to Him expecting to be heard and loved on. How His heart thrills When we assume He is who He says He is. Wow! What a God. What an AMAZING Father.

How about you, my friend? Will you join your sisters in coming out of the corner, putting down our pet emotions, stretching out our hands and opening our arms wide to embrace the grace that has been lavished on us?

You can do this. Together, we can lay hold. Let’s live as those lavishly loved.

Arabah Joy is wife to Jackson, adoptive and biological mom to 4 little ones, and missionary to East Asia. Her adventures span far and wide, from eating pig snouts to giving birth in three different Asian countries. Mostly though, she is a broken woman redeemed by grace. She has written several books including the 40 day devotional, Trust Without Borders. You can find out more and connect with her at ArabahJoy.com.