I felt down. Sometimes my emotions move with the wind, with the circumstances.
Certainly, I know God says not to be like one tossed to and fro like the doubting waves (Ja. 1:6). I’ve got this. I understand this. But, I still do this.
I don’t want to, but I do.
And then I hate myself for doing it – for being a doubting Thomas, demanding to see God’s purposes for the surrounding injuries.
Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Jo. 20:27
You arrogant girl, God doesn’t bless girls like that! He hates that.
Good “Jesus girls” don’t have to witness the details of the wounds to trust there is a better plan. So why do I?
I don’t have to see the holes to know that God put them there for a good reason. Can’t I trust? Can’t I just see that the pain of today is there because God has a plan in tomorrow?
Many times I can. Other times I can’t.
And, when I can’t, shame becomes the holding cell that distances me from God.
Certainly, grace keeps the jail cell doors wide open, unlocked and unobstructed, but shame holds me in, telling me this is where I belong – contained and convicted. It bars my mentality to a purposeless state. It makes me feel like a life-sentenced prisoner doomed to isolation for my bad behavior as a Christian mess-up.
Girls who act like that never get out. They can’t be used without faith.
The bars of this cell open and close like clockwork:
1. Emotions of fear lead to…
2. Doubts about God which lead to…
3. Shame about my doubts, which leads to…
4. Distance (due to: embarrassment, worthlessness, anxiety) from God
But, I am tired, dead tired of being trapped in a cell – a cell that doesn’t have to be literal to trap you. I am tired of breathing in the anxiety of God’s wrath and the fear of my worthlessness.
Because the truth is, this cell is dingy, old and full of fear; it’s not helping me much anyway.
I have the bounty of grace right before me, and it’s about time I seize it.
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free” Lu. 4:18
And I did something different and it worked! I was astonished.
Let me explain:
1. Know your past. Where you were hurt in the past is likely where you will feel damaged in the future. Old dog, same tricks. The devil knows our sore spots and he loves to reopen them.
2. Identify in God’s word the truths that hit your past and current pain points.
3. Speak these truths over yourself. Proclaim them. Speak them. Preach them. Teach them. I don’t care, just get up and walk around and own them. Rather than sitting like a prisoner waiting to be someone’s fresh bait, step up and realize Jesus was already the (perfect and complete) bait for you. He won and you will win too – come the day of Christ Jesus.
4. Believe in the words you say. Receive the full authority that Christ has placed in you, by the power of his Spirit, when you believed. Don’t half heartedly pray or meekly say, “I trust.” Make your words your anthem, your pledge of allegiance, your covenant. Let them be binding truth and declarative words.
(Please note: I am not talking about declaring riches or blessings over yourself, I am talking about declaring truth about who God says you are and what he has done.)
Here is what it looked like for me:
(Imagine: Standing Kelly, walking Kelly, powerful Kelly, vocal Kelly, speaking aloud)
Lord, you reign. There is none beside you. There is none more powerful. You don’t hold doubts against me, as I confess, you forgive me. You free me to your purpose. There is absolutely no condemnation in Christ Jesus. I am loved, entirely, fully, completely. You bring all truth to light and you set captives free, you will set me free. You have a plan and you will see it through…(and you get the point).
But, the point is, the more I spoke, the more I believed, and the more I believed, the more I felt relieved.
His active Word cut sharply through the sludge of my mind to unveil the new creation that I am – to myself. As the junk moved, the truth shined.
Christ’s power, mixed with the illuminating light of the Spirit, always uncovers truth.
Yesterday, I came doubtful, afraid and as spazzed as a kid on sugar, but through belief and ownership of his Word, I seized God’s renewing power for myself. I didn’t see the enemy near. I didn’t see my problems. I didn’t see trepidation. I didn’t see my regrets. I realized that the enemy cannot stand against one standing up.
I am a warrior for Jesus – and he doesn’t need wimps, he needs fearless children unafraid to speak truth.
Who run to the tomb no matter the cost.
Who see a mission during their long wait for the Promised Land.
Who see the dead things around them and speak life into them.
We are these warriors.
Blessed be the Lord, my rock,
who trains my hands for war,
and my fingers for battle;
he is my steadfast love and my fortress,
my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield and he in whom I take refuge,
who subdues peoples under me.
Ps. 144:1-2
How can we be warriors when we sit downtrodden in cells of worthlessness and shame?
God has life-altering power ready to be poured out over us. Do we speak it like we believe it?
Lets us live in the purpose that Christ has already won for us.
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“I seized God’s renewing power for myself. I didn’t see the enemy near. I didn’t see my problems. I didn’t see trepidation. I didn’t see my regrets. I realized that the enemy cannot stand against one standing up.” Praise God for vision changed by truth!
The reason you didn’t see your fear, problems, trepidation, etc. is because your gaze was redirected to the hero of the story- God’s grace. We judge Thomas and feel shame when we read about him because we think the point of that story is to be strong in our faith and to not doubt. But the point is that God knows our doubts- he knows our weakness – and He always responds with grace.
Your words are beautifully written and your message is encouraging, as usual. Thank you, Kelly!
Amen. When we focus on the hero, as you say Karen, we find hope, don’t we? Praise God for this. May we always be lined with grace God! Thank you for your super kind comment to me Karen.
Kelly, I love your graphic about making God’s truth our anthem, pledge of allegiance, and covenant. I’ve also experienced greater freedom as I’ve sought to ask God for SPECIFIC TRUTH to counteract the lies I’m buying into at a particular moment.
God is in control, and He has your future, your writing, and your path marked out!
Yes! I like how you have asked him for the truth. I have to try that too Betsy. Good wisdom dear friend.
Kelly, you speak such truth! Those doubts and pains and hurts from the past are the things that the devil uses to haunt us and harass us. Sometimes, in the middle of it all, it’s hard to see the forest for the trees! But our Lord does reign! Hallelujah! And He has redeemed us, and He loves us! Amen! Thank you for sharing your prayer – I’m starting off my morning with it!
The devil seems to know where to come in to attack us. He uses it again and again. May we both be full of his truth today Janet. Be blessed sister.
We are those warriors.
AMEN
And a powerful one for God you are, precious Kelly.
He’s given you such access to wield His Word well to teach, instruct, and model for the multitudes. For such a time as this.
Susan
We are! Let’s go Susan. I see you as a mighty warrior woman in the name of Jesus – for sure. He is using our words and our mission to cut truth in and lies out!
There are so many truths here today that it will take a couple of readings to fully absorb everything. Standing strong in our belief and claiming that as ours is the key to moving forward in our faith journey and you emphasized that well with your image of either being trapped in the cell or freeing yourself from the bars that hold you in. I have been looking at fear and bravery off and on over the last few months and every time I learn that in order to embrace brave we must let go of our fears. Brave becomes stronger as we release the fears that bind us and one cannot be done without the other. Your words speak truth and of the strength of God. Thank you!
I am glad that it spoke today Mary. Oh, I praise God when he uses words to speak deeply. Yes, to be brave, we have to make space for the courage. I get that and totally agree. I love that God is working more bravery into your life. It’s so powerful. Do it for me too God! 😉
Kelly, this is for real girl. I struggle so seriously with doubt and I can just feel that ache talking about it. Thank you for your vulnerability and wisdom. Blessings.
We may doubt, but we are not condemned. We are not destroyed. We are not pushed down. Jesus is winning over our fears. We will more and more walk in his ways, his truth and his power. (Walk and say this over yourself!) It’s the truth. Thank you for sharing your heart with me Kaylie. I understand.
Yes friend we are warriors indeed and we have to remain duly armed from head to toe. Oh the joy that you are standing on my left and my other rara sisters on my right. Jehovah Sabaoth, the Lord of Hosts goes before us an we secure the victory
WE will not back down. Yes, Jehovah Sabaoth, the Lord of Hosts is with us. Love that.
Kelly,
Doubt is definitely a temptation for me especially when I am so far out on the water that Jesus either has to come through or I’m gonna sink! So glad you spoke such candid words about countering doubt and lies with TRUTH. That is the only way we will overcome. Love linking up with you. Be blessed! – Kia
Thanks Kia. There is one way to counter it and that is to speak life in. Much love to you this day!
The kid spazzing on sugar image had me chuckling! I am sorry you have been under spiritual attack lately in this way Kelly. The victory is already won in Christ Jesus, even when our hearts and/or minds aren’t on board with these truths, that doesn’t make them any less true. You go girl! Tell it like it is! 🙂
The victory is won! Amen. It is always true, the question is whether we are choosing to believe it. So true Nicki!
Oh Kelly, I can be such a doubting Thomas too. Thanks for cheering me on today!
It’s a pure honor Kim! May the power of Christ reign in you this week.
Hey Kelly … thanks for looking shame straight in the face and then redirecting us to the only One who can free us from its ugly shackles.
And thank you, too, for hostessing this lovely party each week. Some very cool women have come to my door because you’ve swung yours open wide.
I’m grateful …
Have a good one!
When we see shame for what it is, we can see the areas that Christ wants to repair in us. He is at work to free us more and more. Just knowing this is so encouraging. Thanks for your encouraging comments Linda. It is a joy to have you here.
My dear friend,
Your post is absolutely FILLED with truth today. Truths that are both simple and exceedingly difficult. How true that we KNOW what we should do in response to the lies, but so often default to sitting in defeat in our cells – despite the fact that the door has been opened by the death of Christ, and nothing the enemy can do can close us in. In Jesus strength, we can get up and walk out into freedom. Praying for you today, in this journey. I understand how difficult walking in freedom can be. It’s an everyday battle, really.
Blessings and hugs,
Kamea
How right you are! Nothing can hold us in when we get up and walk by God’s truth. May we never fall into open cells, but walk in the light of Christ’s freedom! Lead Kamea and I Jesus!
One thing that draws me to you and your writing is your authenticity and transparency, friend. I love that about you. You share your life with us in such a way that encourages, gives hope, and strengthens us. You did it again with your words in this post. I appreciate the truths you shared, especially this: “Christ’s power, mixed with the illuminating light of the Spirit, always uncovers truth.” Amen, and amen. Much love is being sent your way today!!
Oh Julie. Thank you for this. Sometimes it feels scary to go real because I wonder if I will be judged, but you know what – fear is not from God. So, I press into the scary and trust God to work his truth out – which he always does. God is so good to us. May we be real vessels of his truth.
I so felt these words to my core today.
I don’t have to see the holes to know that God put them there for a good reason. Can’t I trust? Can’t I just see that the pain of today is there because God has a plan in tomorrow?
Blessings!
Jann, I praise God that these words spoke into you. I pray that by the power of the Spirit the words are sealed inside of you and take hold in an astounding way. Thank you for sharing this with me and for taking part in the #RaRalinkup.
Thankful for His liberating grace. Thanks for the reminder to declare God’s Truth over our locked up places.
You bet Katie. Let’s walk strong in his love.
I am so familiar with that cycle of fear, doubt, shame, and distance. It’s so hard to break free of, but I love and am trying to practice the idea of speaking God’s truths to myself and trying to take those shame thoughts captive. Thanks for hosting another beautiful linkup!
Thank you Lauren for joining. God’s promises break the power of lies chains.
“But, the point is, the more I spoke, the more I believed, and the more I believed, the more I felt relieved.” Amen! Am in learning mode with this as well. Your words of victory are exciting to read, Kelly. #goJesus #gostrongwomanofanevenStrongerGod
Yes, it’s amazing, isn’t it Kristi, how these two things are so directly correlated? Let’s hold on to God’s relief!
Our belief brings us relief. Kelly, that is what I am taking from your words because when we believe, we are relieved of the weight that comes from thinking it’s all on us. I too can feel my emotions follow my circumstances and struggle to believe I can change, but it is God who changes us. Let’s rest in that. : )
Yes, Gods faith, simply works. He knew what he was doing when he created a belief system that quells all your fears and failings. I am ready to rest with you.
This: How can we be warriors when we are downtrodden in worthlessness and shame? Truth! Time to rise up in His strength! #RaRalinkup!
Let’s go Ellen! Let’s rise up and let God settle deep down! I am with you.
I can very much relate to this. It seems the devil wants us in that cell, but we do need to break free from it and declare Jesus as Lord and Savior. He can carry our burdens, fears and doubts and deliver to us peace. Thanks for sharing this awesome article this week. Words I really needed to hear.
The devil loves to see us in that cell because then we question our value, we question our faith and we question his love. It’s a powerful place for our demise. How right you are Kelly. May we stay, far, far away from that place!
Such a wonderful post today, Kelly! This is where I had my “this is for you” moment:
“1. Know your past. Where you were hurt in the past is likely where you will feel damaged in the future. Old dog, same tricks. The devil knows our sore spots and he loves to reopen them.”
and then
“2. Identify in God’s word the truths that hit your past and current pain points.”
I feel it all right there. Yes, I am pretty aware of my past, but I also run from it rather than confront it with the truth of God’s Word about it all and about me. I know that the devil would be thrilled to have me skate by my past so he can hold me captive to it. This post is powerful girl, thank you.
Hold on to it! God has you and that is the truth Kelly. The devil will try anything to keep you in a place of lies, but Jesus Christ has set you free!
Such great encouragement – speaks right into my hurting heart today – bless you x
Oh, I am so glad it speaks to you Tania. So glad.
Speaking definitely leads to believing. I don’t feel like doing so many things, believeing so many things. But when I put myself in the motion of doing it anyway, my heart follows. Thank you for sharing your words, Kelly.
Yes, it really seems our feelings follow our heart. Thank you so much for joining us today!
Oh those are some good points to ponder. And, good advice to take. You speak to those who hurt so beautifully. Keep on pouring out what God pours in. He is using you friend! <3
Thank you Carmen. Your words to me are so encouraging. Thank you for being a dose of love, as you always are.
I *love* your progression from fearfulness to distance from God. And I LOVE your praise-filled proclamation … and how you showed that here!
Thank you Dianne. He has us. He loves us. He is working on our behalf.
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