Author - purposefulfaith

Is Your Faith Falling?

October 26, 2016

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, failure, faith, fear

1 Comment

I hung this up in my house. It represented Fall and a call to believe God. I liked it.

Until the door got shut too hard. Belief fell.

Doors get shut, faith falls. Ever noticed? Opportunities dissolve – it appears God won’t solve anything. People hurt – it feels God doesn’t care. Sicknesses, emotions and accidents happen – all of a sudden, you can’t figure out what happened to God and you’ve gotta do things on your own.

The door that slammed into you broke God’s goodness.

Has this happened to you?

Maybe it is hard to see, feel or walk by the great things God has planned for you?

To walk, by faith, is to walk by God’s sight, in his full might.

To walk, not by faith, is to walk with no might, relying on your demise in sight.

When we walk aimlessly between these two, we walk crippled. We blindly stumble over Jesus’ victory – we fall into victimhood. We lay there looking around and all of a sudden the clear paths God set before us – the words of encouragement, the praise or the worship we wanted to sing – rings hallow. Then, we get angry at God.

I’ve been fighting to keep my heart above ground.

I want to keep that cross of belief hung high, even when the assaults of the world feel like low blows. And, I’ve been assaulted alright. People I trusted, didn’t come through for me. The hope I had, now appears unpromising. My health, is on round 3 of colds. My mind has been fighting and fighting and fighting. That cross, has fallen, friends, it has fallen.

But, I am picking it back up. Like Jesus did. He never let it stay on the ground…

I am putting it back upon my shoulders and looking ahead to the prize that awaits at the end of faithful days.

Will you pick it back up again?

Don’t let it sit there, on the ground. Doors don’t define you, Jesus does. Pick up the cross of faith and carry on, even if every step feels like you are going to fall, be laughed at or injured. Keep going. Hold on to the vision of hope, the belief that God is working out goodness and the knowledge he is helping you.

Don’t let shame hold you back again, either. You doubted for a moment. So what? That was then, this is now. God shuts the door on all revenge, anger and retribution when you ask for forgiveness.

Rush over to the cross, see new faith and hang it high again. Let his love rush in.

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (Ro. 8:35)

Nothing. No discouragement, despair, demotivation, denial, depression, dejection, darkness or defiance can keep you from his love.

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. (Ro. 8:36)

The victor is risen.

The fight is won.

Our destiny is secure.

No trip, trial or trap will stop it.

We keep our eyes set on destination.

Carry that cross on.

And believe by faith,

in the greatness God has in store for you.

KNOW and speak within yourself: “Nothing can ever separate (me) from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate (me) from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate (me) from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Ro. 8:38-39)

Together, we walk – united. Christ as the anchor to the faith upon which we stand. In him, there is no trial or tribulation that can knock us to the floor.

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When Your Picture Is Not Pretty

October 25, 2016

purposefulfaith

Contentment, control, doubt, faith, fear

10 Comments

I saw the truck driver out of the side of my eye from the sidewalk. He was unloading boxes. I shot him a side-smile, halfway knowing he’d get a kick watching me position my kids just right. It was going to be the Fall picture of all Fall pictures, mostly because the backdrop looked autumn-genius – pumpkins, mums and hay looked like artwork. C’mon, this was it! I balked at the beauty. Truck-man didn’t smile back; he just glared.

So, when he approached me, I got scared.

“Do you want to be in the picture with the kids?”

I sized him up all wrong.

You can’t measure a heart in a split-second.

Here he was: a good man breaking out of his timeline of delivering food to deliver us the perfect picture. I appreciated it. Did he know how badly I wanted things to feel perfect? How I wanted my kids to experience the warmth of this season? How I wanted them to see the colors and value in change? How I wanted to know – and remember – I was a good mother?

This picture, I imagined, would be the ones the kids gathered around. It was going to be me- looking cute and them – looking happy. It was going to be me – bringing them places they would love. It was going to be them – full of joy.

No one was going to forget it. Pictures are memorials of good times. And, random picture-takers are angels.

I shoved daughter up on the hay. She hated it. I pushed her up on a pumpkin. She toddler-cursed the seat. No matter where this angel-trucker stood – left, right, center – I sighed, there was just no money shot. Daughter was done with it. So was I.

Why is it whenever I try to orchestrate good, it goes bad?

And, why do good acts of service so often fail?

Not only did I feel let down, but I felt like I wasted someone else’s time. I burdened him for nothing. Guilt arrived.

What is your dream shot? Maybe it looks entirely different than expected?

Maybe you look odd? Less than? Or, maybe you feel guilty for wasting people’s time?

Embarrassed? Or, scared, even?

Sometimes, things just pan out – weird, ugly and wrong. And, what you’re left with are images blurred, skewed or haphazard. Ones that catch you with your eyes closed or with a double chin. They show the hatable things.

…The LORD does not look at the things people look at… (1 Sam. 16:7)

What we look at worthless, God calls worthy…

Our picture is earthly, but God’s is eternal. So, while we see a snip-it, God sees more. He sees past the clothes, the facades and the faces, straight to the heart. He sees all the images lined up, like framed pictures on a wall going up the stairs. He sees our growth, our progress and our love expanding. The pictures please him.

We can’t always see from his view. That’s our real problem…

We don’t see much. We see the here, the now, the tears and the Pumpkin-fits. God sees the gallery in the Museum of his Faithfulness. He sees how the image of mourning gives way to joy 3 steps ahead. He sees how the grief gives way to gladness a couple feet beyond. He sees how mayhem will work itself into peace when his love develops.

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness... Ps. 30:11

Today, I am encouraged to know beyond the externals, God cares far more about the picture of the internals.
I am encouraged to remember there is a vision to the pictures of my life.
I am encouraged to focus my lens on eternity.

With the filter of eternity, in this picture I see:

We are all fighting to find our seat in life.
Sometimes we just need another to come behind us to say it is okay to not know because God does.
There is no perfect picture unless you zoom in on Jesus.
What appears like a bad shot will be glorious, tomorrow.

And, with this, I smile and know – that picture I took? It is a memorial. It’s a marker of imperfection, an image of my growth and a pointer to the glory that awaits. I’ll hold it close and look back on it fondly.

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When Mistakes Get You Down

October 24, 2016

purposefulfaith

blessings, Contentment, doubt, failure, faith, fear

I am delighted to welcome Dr. Stacy Haynes from Gloucester County Community Church to this Women’s Ministry Monday guest post series. Her words bring life and encouragement to my heart.

Post by: Dr. Stacy Haynes

Sometimes as a wife and a mother, I reflect too much on the mistakes I have made in my past. I think about the days when maybe I am not as nice as I should be to my husband or I respond to my children in a short tone.

There are moments that I feel guilty about, as a mother and wife. Then God reminds me of many examples of women in the Bible and the past mistakes they had made in their walk with the Lord.

We can easily think of Eve, why the first woman in the Bible who made a pretty huge mistake because of sin and temptation. And yet she goes on to be the mother of all living things and raises her children to love and worship the Lord.

One woman stands out to me, as her past created her future. Rahab the harlot as the Bible calls her was not aware how two spies would change her past and bless her future.

Joshua 2 tells us the story of how Rahab hid the spies, made them promise to save her and her family and she vowed to profess her faith.

She believed in God despite her circumstances.

Rahab- whose first part of her name Ra- the name of an eyptian God, was a pagan. She was not a believer and yet she is proclaiming here her faith to these spies.

Rahab was not concerned about her past and what things look like. Sure she was not worthy to house these spies- but she believed.

Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.

I remind myself that circumstances sometimes are not the best and behavior may not always be Christlike in the moment, but God has chosen me to be a mother and a wife in this season for His glory.

She trusted in the promises of God.

The Bible has a Hall of Faithers list if you will and Rahab is listed in the Bible Hall of Faith in Hebrews- with folks like Abraham, Moses, Joseph, and David.

Hebrews 11:31 By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.

A prostitute was spared, and did not die with those who were disobedient.

God can forgive my past and give me a future. God is not sitting up in Heaven, counting our mistakes as mothers. He asks us to trust Him, to confess our faith and ask for forgiveness when we sin.

She brought others to salvation.

One thing I love about Rahab – she immediately became a disciple and brought others to the Lord. And yet God saved her and her family. All because of Rahab.

A woman who decided her past would not determine her destiny.
A woman who decided her life was worth giving up for God.
A woman who will always be remembered in the family lineage of Jesus Christ himself.
A woman who made mistakes, and lived to tell about it.

As the story goes, one of those spies, Salmon- decided he loved Rahab and married her. She became the mother of Boaz, who married Ruth from whose son, Obed, Jesse the father of David came.

Salmon was a prince of the house of Judah, and thus Rahab, the prostitute became a princess.

You see in those moments when I doubt my imperfections, my mistakes as a mom and a wife I am reminded of how good God’s grace and mercy is. I am reminded that God loves us, He created us and He has forgiven us.

I am reminded of the lessons that can be learned when we go through trials and the patience that God is building in my character with each new experience.

Jesus healed a man demon possessed in Mark 5. And when the man wanted to travel with Jesus, Jesus replied, “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” (Mark 5:19)

You see I am able to share my faith through my mistakes with others. My life is not a story of perfection, it is a story of Great God whose grace and forgiveness allows me to serve Him each and every day.

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About Dr. Haynes

STACY HAYNES, Ed. D, LPC, ACS, is the Chief Executive Officer of Little Hands Family Services, LLC. located at the Washington Professional Campus in Turnersville, New Jersey. Stacy is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and an experienced therapist, teacher, and counselor with over fifteen years in the mental health field.

Dr. Stacy Haynes is a specialist in the treatment of behavioral and emotional disturbance of children, adults and families. Stacy uses evidenced based practices in working with children and families to help strengthen children and families. Stacy has lectured on topics including ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Effective Classroom Management Skills, Anger Management and Conduct Disorders and is also an Adjunct Professor teaching graduate and undergraduate courses in Child Psychology, Intro to Counseling, Abnormal Psychology and other Human Services courses.

Dr. Haynes received her Bachelors Degree from Liberty University, her Masters Degree from Bowie State University and her Doctorate in Education with a concentration in Counseling Psychology and a specialization in Clinical Supervision and Teaching in Higher Education from Argosy University. Dr. Stacy Haynes is a clinically licensed professional counselor in Maryland, New Jersey and Pennsylvania.17

Remembering Jesus

October 21, 2016

purposefulfaith

awe, Contentment, faith, Love & Health

If the man sweat, I’m convinced, it would’ve come out as iron. He was strong! No doubt, he was military. I tried to keep my eyes straight, but to no avail, they wandered like a girl cheating on her 11th-grade chemistry test. I didn’t want to get caught – pastor was going strong. Still, how the man rubbed tenderly and passionately his bracelet, over and over, round and round – it meant something. I needed to know what. The sermon, this day, was all about him.

I squinted and spotted a location and a date. Aha! I figured it out. They are winning moments. Times, people, places that were special, meaningful or momentous.

As his fingers moved,
did his mind also, going back to the memory of what happened?

A place where he joined hands with a fellow warrior and pressed on?

A time when his courage nearly beat out of his chest – and he conquered all?

A lesson of bravery, learned through trial, never to be forgotten?

How sweet! “Hold on to that fella,” I wanted to say, “that’s what moments are made of.”
If I could’ve whispered it without being rude and out-of-place, friends, I might have.

The paint was chipping, kneaded raw, but clear as day I spotted three letters: KIA.

At first, I thought of the car brand – KIA. Then, I the reality appeared:

KIA. Killed. In. Action.

My eyes widened.
Killed. in. action.

My back sank down the chair.
Killed. in. action.

My heart moved with it.
Someone willing to pay the ultimate price for freedom.

This man? He knew: You hold on to one you love. You knead into the fact they gave up their needs and wants, so you could have yours. You absorb the price of their sacrifice.

The man next to me did just that. He remembered…

Him, a person, laying down his life for liberty.
Him, one suffering all pain, for our gain.
Him, a beating heart, a heart he knew, silenced.

Do we remember Jesus Christ in the same way?

Keeping the reality of his sacrifice not only within our fingers,
but everpresent within our heart?

Our warrior, the perfect warrior – Jesus – with his final breath beat death, sin and the war of all evil. He is worthy.
Our Jesus lion and lamb, burst free of the tomb. He is worthy.
Our Jesus, who sits at the right hand of the father, won the battle, so he could plead on our behalf. He is worthy.

Jesus was K.I.A.

Because of the lamb, who is also the lion,
we are now forever liberated, loved and alive.

Do you hold him close? Do you knead into his goodness? Do you remember the power of his miracles worked into your life? Do you draw from his words and wear them, like an embossed memorial, across your heart?

Today, hold close: Jesus. Died. For. Me.

Goodness, purity, wholeness was killed, willingly, on your behalf.

“This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” 1 Cor. 11:24

Jesus. The man who had it all, but gave it all – for you. R.I.P.

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Why God Really Has A Better Way

October 19, 2016

purposefulfaith

awe, Contentment, doubt, envy, fear

A tear welled up in my eye, God had forgotten me.

What seemed like a possibility, a door, creaked and slowly shut. I couldn’t tell –
did the door fully close or was there still a crack?

Either way, what I had longed to hear as a yes, disappeared like a vapor. Gone. Without a mention, without a word. As I figured it, no news – means people are avoiding you. They hate to be a disappointment (Humanomics 101).

As I saw it; I lost out.

Not wanted. Rejected. Not worthy. Hurt. Alone.

Ever been there?

Why is it that God seems to give you something only to slam a no in your face? It makes a girl soar in the throat from trying to hold back tears. That is how it feels. It feels like a smile turned upside down. It feels like a heart wanting to be happy, wanting to trust God, wanting to walk in faith, wanting all that and then getting pinched – hard.

Oww!!!

Do you feel left behind by God?

Do tears drop where hope once abounded?

I know, friends, it stinks. Let’s just first acknowledge, hot fudge sundae’s can end up melted. Dreams can wash up and away. Hopes can suffocate under discouragement. Sometimes, things don’t work – they break, and then, seemingly, break us.

They break our spirit of joy.
They break our mode of purpose.
They break our vision of the future.
They break how we see ourselves.
They break our feeling of belonging.

But, let me ask you…can they ever break the character of God.

As much as I want to stomp and pout before my Maker, the maker of everything, the maker of every opportunity – I have to stop to consider…

Who says I know the best way?

Who says this was ever God’s way?

Who says God doesn’t have in motion – a better way?

Who says God ever left me?

Who declared me not good enough?

If the great and powerful, high and mighty, God declared me good (Gen. 1:31),
who is man to label me otherwise?

And, why do I give them permission?

If the all-knowing, all-seeing God, says he has plans prepared in advance for me (Eph. 2:10), what is a small hiccup?

A hiccup to God is a grain of sand to me. It is of no consequence.

Looking back, I can’t count the blessings that have come to me. But, what I can count on is that they’ve never arrived by striving. They’ve never shown up through inflated efforts. They’ve never walked in on account of man’s doing.

Nearly, every time, they’ve come like a surprise birthday party – out-of-nowhere, thrown in complete love. And what could be better than that?

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When It’s Their Fault

October 18, 2016

purposefulfaith

awe, doubt, dreams, faith, Freedom

16 Comments

I sang and danced and swirled and twirled. I had no care in the world. I paid no attention to my foot caught on the hem underfoot or my strap halfway down my young arm. None of that mattered. What mattered was that I felt alive, beautiful and one with creation.

What happened to that little girl?

The one who gave no care to her off-pitch high notes? The one who heard not catcalls of criticism, but simply her voice of freedom? The one who gave no merit to outside perceptions, but just God’s wild affirmations? Somewhere along the line, she got buried.

It’s always easy to blame others, “They broke me.”

They broke me with pointed words, “What’s wrong with you, Kelly? Wake up, you self-absorbed one.”
They injured me in ways that people don’t talk about over coffee.
They pointed out my big nose, loud voice and my bouffant hair.
They made it clear I was destined to be a loser.

In school, I remember things. We all had a papier-mâché project. You put a little something in your balloon, you’d shove in a little figure of sorts, then blow up the balloon. After that, you’d add doused paper on top – lots of doused paper. You cover that balloon right up, layer upon layer. The balloon got hard.

I am like that balloon – 3-inches covered by guilt and shame. You too?

“People stole care-free from me.” I yell to God.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Ro. 12:2

God speaks to me,
“Kelly, you can relive the past in your mind
or you can renew your spirit with my mind, the mind of Christ?

Half of me is so accustomed to assigning other people blame for my pain. It’s hard to turn away from a comfortable seat well worn. But, the other half of me realizes if I want to be new, if I want to get up and go, I’ve got to turn another direction. I want to believe it is well with my soul.

I close my eyes. Can I find her? The liberated, dancing singer?

I know she’s under there, under the fortified covering of papier-mâché, somewhere…

God calls me friend.
God names me, daughter.
I am his love.
The very pursuit of his greatest affections.
A layer of paperweight peels off me…

He sees me, my beauty.
He writes my name on his hand.
He cuddles me in feathers.
He’s my bodyguard, ever-protector, forevermore.
The balloon is seen again…

He leads me.
He unveils his master plan for me.
He tends to my soul.
He teaches and transforms,
molds and makes me,
helps me.
The balloon pops…Bang!

And that little figure? The one tucked deep away, inside the covered balloon? It surfaces. I finally see it. Except there’s one thing I notice, that strikes me – funny. The figure looks nothing like me. It looks like Jesus.

As I strip off the layers that cover me, I see – Jesus, the very power of God, living in me.

I find who I am, through the great I AM.
I release my potential through his power.
I reignite my passion as I draw from his paternal love.

I never needed people to approve me, but Christ to move in me.

But because of his great love for us, God,
who is rich in mercy,made us alive with Christ
even when we were dead in transgressions…(Eph. 2:4-5)

God brings me back to the heart of who I was created to be. What love, I loved, he loves. I see this when I realize I am alive with Christ.

When I grab his hand and let him take the lead, he leads me to still waters, to new hope and to a new dance that sings his glory.

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Have You Lost Peace?

October 17, 2016

purposefulfaith

faith, fear, grace, hope

1 Comment

I am delighted to have Susan Pettrey from Brooklyn Tabernacle join us. Susan is a tremendous force for the Lord. She is used in ways, I know, she can’t even begin to imagine. She has impacted my life through prayer. It is a pure delight to welcome Susan today for Women’s Ministry Monday.

It was another night of going through the normal bedtime routine I have with my 6-year old son, Levi. Something was wrong. It had been for days. He was unusually hyper, unfocused and distant from me. I knew why.

We had recently moved to a new neighborhood, and within the past month, Levi had to adjust to a new home, school, peer group and, even, a new nanny. It was a lot. It would be for any child, but Levi is adopted and, as I’ve learned, adopted children intensely crave security.

I can only imagine what goes on in his little mind as he tries to process the implications of his adoption and life, but it was no mystery that all of the recent changes were creating extreme anxiety in his heart.

As Levi jumped up and down on his bed, I decided that a reprimand was not what was needed at that moment. Levi needed to be ministered to. I asked him what was bothering him only to be given his typical response of “nothing”.

The more I probed the more Levi tried to change the subject until, finally, I said, “Honey, it’s very clear right now that you don’t have peace in your heart.”

With that, Levi got quiet and waited for me to continue telling him what he couldn’t find the words to express himself. I did my best to validate his feelings. Then, I encouraged him with words of hope.

I told him that I knew God had led us to this new home and, so, we could trust He had a plan. It would be for all of our good.

He laid his little head on my chest. I could feel his body slowly begin to relax. It was as though my confidence…or peace about Levi’s life and future was transferring into his own heart.

We prayed together. I kissed him goodnight with an assurance that his anxiety had subsided. I was grateful for that moment and thanked God for it without realizing the deeper truth He was going to teach me.

When I opened my Bible the next day, this is what I read- “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

As I pondered the verse, God showed me my exchange with Levi was just a dim reflection of what He desires to have with me.

So often, when life has been difficult and seemingly out of control, I’ve prayed for more peace. As if the process involved God giving me the power to muster up my own peace in the midst of my troubles. But, now, what Jesus was saying became so alive to me as I remembered my experience the night before.

Just as Levi received my peace as his own,
so Jesus wants to give us HIS peace.

When we were saved, God’s Spirit took residence in us. Our old man was put to death and, now, it is no longer we who live but Christ who lives through us. How often I forget the benefits that come with this great truth. I don’t have to be a better “Susan” anymore. All I need to do is look to my Savior who longs to give me everything He is. Not only does Jesus want to fill me with things like His love, His strength, and His wisdom, but He desires to fill me with HIS very own peace too!

Not a peace that is manufactured by me or dependent on imperfect people or an unstable world. It’s a divine peace rooted in the one, true God who has all authority over heaven and earth.

It’s a supernatural peace that can never be moved or shaken by the circumstances of life. It’s a peace that comes from the One who knows how the story really ends.

Whatever the challenges we might be facing at this moment, Jesus invites us to lay our head on His chest and receive His peace today.

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Susan Pettrey’s Bio

Susan Pettrey is the second daughter of Jim and Carol Cymbala, who pastor the Brooklyn Tabernacle in Brooklyn, NY. Susan grew up witnessing great moves of God and His power to change the most hopeless of lives. As an adult, Susan has been all over the spectrum of ministry at the Brooklyn Tabernacle. She has served as a worship leader and soloist in the choir. She is the director of the women’s ministry, as well as, the BT Drama Company, where she writes and produces full-length plays that are used to minister to the church and evangelize her city. Her greatest priority, however, is her wonderful husband, Brian, and four amazing children, Luke (19), Claire (16) and Levi (6) and Charlotte (1)

5 Steps to Dismantling Doubt

October 14, 2016

purposefulfaith

Contentment, doubt, faith, fear, hope

Be still and know that I am God.

But, that was precisely the problem. I couldn’t be still. My heart was racing ten miles an hour. Ever been there? Where the face of your problems seems far more apparent than the loving face of your God? Where it is hard to know if God can fix what you are standing up against?

“Your child has been exposed to Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease.”

I gave them the blank stare. I didn’t know what this entailed, but I did know it sounded – horrific. Anything with the word “disease” in it is about enough to send mom’s stomach flip-flopping and reeling in anxiety. Add visions of pussing, oozing and painful sores – and mom was already seeing red spots.

“Were they exposed to the sick kid a lot – or a little?”

“Oh, a lot and it is very contagious.”

Thanks, lady. Thanks a lot. Oh, and thanks, God. Don’t you know? I just came off the stomach flu that built into a cold that seemed to never end then my family was attacked with illness from the inside out. I’ve been run ragged and now I have to deal with – this? Great, how do you heal this thing?

In my spinning mind, my jumping, skipping and smiling daughter was already deeply ill. I could see it happening, and none of my prayers could stop this unforeseen visitor from coming.

When we open the gate to worry, it walks in, but it almost always invites its friend – doubt – to come along.

Are there uninvited guests filling your mind,
heart and soul with agony?

Doubt arrives as an attack on hope.

It deconstructs the goodness of God.
It wrecks the order of his love.
Its slow-seep is cancerous over time.
It corrodes dependence on God.
It is the devil’s biggest win.

Doubt is about as good as a heart attack,
so how do we fight it?

Fight doubt with these 5 A’s:

Acknowledge the lies and God’s corresponding truth.
Ask for forgiveness.
Admire the power, height and love of God.
Abandon our own will.
Affirm God’s goodness through thanksgiving and prayer.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Phil. 4:8

If we filter the bad from the good, we will only be left with good. And, if we’re left with good, we’re left with God. Simply said: If we are filled with God, we can’t be filled with doubt, fear and worry.

I’m going to bank on that verse up there. It keeps uninvited guests out!

Prayer Against Destructive Doubt:

God, you are in everything. You are above everything. You know everything. You are orchestrating everything. All control is yours. All vision is yours. All power is yours. You move the handle on my life. Thank you that you want to take care of me. Thank you that you love me. You withhold no good thing from me. Thank you that I can trust you. Not with half my heart, but with my whole heart. Thank you that you know my way, even when it looks not like “my way.” Grant me greater faith to trust you by faith. Stand closer to me so I can dwell in your love. Help keep my mind steadfast on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. If I move with you, I won’t depart from you. Teach me God in all your ways. I am open and willing to what you want to do in me. I need you, God. Amen.

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When Sharing Makes You Embarrassed

October 12, 2016

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, doubt, faith, fear, Freedom

Bzzzt…the green radio waves signaled…I was on! I was live.

“Can I just vent? Everything’s going wrong… Remember how my husband went out of town last week? Well, the second he leaves, daughter started exploding the worst vile out of her mouth. I couldn’t get her head to toilet fast enough; the stuff went all down my leg. Finally, husband gets back home – and he gets sick! Days later, son starts shooting water out. Now I have it. Add that to the cold that’s coming on…and I haven’t even told you about yesterday! Oh, don’t start me on yesterday! I spent nearly all day convincing the military (I mean, employees) at the Motor Vehicle association that my documents were valid, acceptable and pleasing. It was the greatest defense case of my life – and I fought it out groggy head and all. I lost. I ended up driving 2 hours to get an updated marriage certificate – one that is “acceptable” to Homeland Security, which means it has different colors on it. I guess what’s acceptable just changed recently. Who knew? This morning I also poked my eyeball out – hard – with a sharp object sticking out of my son’s bookbag.” Bleep…

Bzzt… “Ladies, it’s when twenty things pile on, that’s when I want to – die.” Bleep…

Now, let me tell you – these other bleeping women? They are my best blogger friends (Abby, Angela, Christy, Jami, Katie & Karina) – and they are about as caring and welcoming as a grandma with a hot plate of cookies. They love and then heap second helpings on your plate. It is how they are; I love them.

So, with all this said, why the bleep did I feel so horrible after I talked to them?

“They’re going to label me a complainer.”
“They’re going to think I don’t have Jesus in me.”
“They’re going to wonder why I am not more positive.”

‘I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Phil. 4:2′

This verse proves I am a failure. I am a “bad, bad girl”.

Considering this, my off-kilter heart transports right back to 3rd grade. I had talked out of turn. I always did. The teacher had me kneel 4-hours in front of the Holy Mother of God, Mary. She stood high. My knees went numb. Mary’s virgin eyes laid into me. They whispered, “Bad, bad girl.”

Help me God…

I’m a bad, bad girl who doesn’t do good.
A bad, bad girl who makes others cringe.
A bad, bad girl who makes cheerful hearts go sour.
A bad, bad girl who will never “get it.”

My knees went home red that day, my heart went home injured. The lesson was learned: I was bad. Mary agreed.

So, today, I sit and wrestle with 3 questions.

1. Does discontentment disqualify me from being good?

If Jesus died to lay his very goodness over me, then his goodness is what I carry. Goodness is not dependent on a passing feeling or a state of mind – it is dependent on what was already accomplished on the cross.

For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. (Hebrews 10:14).

You did not choose me, but I chose you.. (Jo. 15:16)

2. Is sadness or frustration – a sin?

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. (Ps. 34:17)

According to the verse above, who cries? ___ Someone troubled- and likely sad.

Now, what does God do for these sad people? _____ He hears them.

Does he label them? ___ Well, yes, he does. He labels them – righteous.

The ones who cry out to God from the pit of pain certainly are labeled, but they are aren’t labeled shameful. They’re labeled righteous. While the enemy wants us to believe we are horrible, God just believes – his children are good.

3. Does my pain need to be squelched because it is dreadfully sinful, horrible and disturbing to man?

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. (Ps. 34:17)

When we cry to God, take a close look at what happens. Notice, God does not say: When the righteous cry out, the Lord tells them to hush up, pull it together and come back when they can put a smile on their face.

On the contrary. When the righteous cries, he hears and then delivers. He understands and then provides a way. He leans closer and then, like a good daddy, provides.

Jesus understands pain. He took it. He knows struggle. He lived through it. He felt emotion. He also cried. Our feelings weren’t given to us to be hated. They weren’t created by God to be called “bad, bad things.” They were handed down to us because God wants to hold them for us, care for them and show us how much he can provide.

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Walking into God’s Best

October 11, 2016

purposefulfaith

awe, Contentment, faith, hope, Jesus, Love & Health

12 Comments

Step-by-step, eye-on-goal, I navigated rocks, roots and off-kilter mountain terrain. My thoughts kept pace…

Push, push, push.
Do, do, do.
Keep treading this beaten path…

I end my day couch-ridden, feeling beaten by my fears.
I walk a beaten path.

I let stress spill pent up emotions – everywhere.
I walk a beaten path.

I let time rush me.
I walk a beaten path.

I let other’s define the “right” way.
I walk a beaten path.

I rush and shush my family.
I walk a beaten path.

I do the same things. Again and again.
Same walk. Same path. Different day.

God, I feel tired, cranky and a bit off kilter.

Kelly, how’s this working for you?

Umm…Okay, God, so what am I supposed to do?

Get off the beaten path!

So, I do, I venture off. I don’t have to do it like I always have. I don’t have to do it like they do. I don’t have to be what the world demands. This beaten path does me no good.

If God isn’t in it, what use is it anyway?

Covered by the thrill of trees, the calling of excitement – a step is all it takes.

Although it’s risky, I’m just where I want to be. Somehow the mom of, “Don’t venture out in those woods, there are ticks out there” vanishes and some childlike charge comes alive.

I let go.

If I just go with God, where will he take me?

I press into the vines, the brush, the scary. Even more, I find her. Her heart is still going. The girl of adventure, of freedom, of willingness, of spontaneity, of joy, of wonder, of peace.

She’s still alive. She wants to arise.

If I move outside my norm, God,
what will you do with me?

Might I see myself like you do?

I go deeper. My ears hear it first…the rush, two rocks and a transformation in progress…

Living water is changing hard, non-pourous and rough edges into a new mold. They need do nothing, they are being changed. Restructured as recipients of the living water’s power.

Change only happens if we submit to the force of love over us…

What if our greatest life-change is just
on the other side of – stepping out?

What if by stepping out we best get the chance
to sit under God’s love?

I sit, in order to see.
It is something we are all wise to try sometime…

Rather than a schlep to “destination,” just accept God’s invitation.
You don’t want to risk missing it.

This time, I don’t – I won’t.

Quiet whispers wander.
Internal sparks come alive.
True identity surfaces.

I am called. So I go. We go. We walk on.

To a clearing. It is about as sunny as Florida. Clouds are invisible. But, all the same – off the beaten path, a mini-miracle happens – light drops fall. The dance from heaven speaks something. But, what, God, what?

I sit.

He who waters the plants, who keeps green the grass, and who rises the sun, is more than equipped to hold together the nitty-gritty details of my life…

Even if I do nothing, he will create an orchestra of outstanding, mesmerizing and brilliant – out of nothing…

Even if I only breathe, but nothing else,
he can lead all relationships where they need to go…

Even if I just observe, he will create something far better than marketing, manpower or management skills ever could…

I inhale. I like being off the beaten path. I sit longer.

When I finally get home, I crawl down next to him, the boy. I inhale and abolish time. Only the moment counts. Nothing is required. Words aren’t demanded. Planning isn’t essential. What matters is not the destination, but the invitation to rest in the presence of love.

I set my heart on getting off the beaten path…

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