Author - purposefulfaith

Prayer to Beat Destructive Doubt

April 21, 2017

Be still and know that I am God.

But, that was precisely the problem. I couldn’t be still. My heart was racing a hundred miles an hour like a race car ready to crash. Ever been there? Where the face of your problems > loving face of your God? Where it is hard to know if God can/will fix what you’re doing, done or are about to do?

“Your child has been exposed to Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease.”

I gave them the blank stare. I didn’t know what this entailed, but I did know by nature of the name it sounded – horrific. Anything with the word “disease” in it is about enough to send mom’s stomach flip-flopping and reeling in anxiety. Add visions of pussing, oozing and painful sores – and mom was already identifying imaginary red spots.

“Were they exposed to the sick kid a lot – or a little?”

“Oh, a lot and it is very contagious.”

Thanks, lady. Thanks a lot. Oh, and thanks a lot, God. Don’t you know?

Now, I’d just come off the stomach flu that built into a cold that seemed to never end that morphed into a bad illness with a mean attack from the inside-out. I won’t go into details here. Needless to say, I’d been run ragged. Now this?

Now, I was sure, dear daughter was deeply ill. I could see it happening, and none of my prayers could stop this unforeseen visitor from coming. God wouldn’t help me. I was all alone on this one.

Where do you feel all alone?

Where have you opened the gate to worry and found not only it walked in, but doubt too?

This may sound simplistic, but: Shut the gate.
Doubt disassembles the goodness of God.
It wrecks the benefits of love.
It becomes cancerous over time.
It corrodes dependence on God.
It is the devil’s gambit.

“But, how, Kelly, how?” You ask me.

We fight with the 5 A’s – that’s how! We:

Acknowledge the lies and God’s corresponding truth.
Ask for forgiveness.
Admire the power, height, and love of God.
Abandon our own will.
Affirm God’s goodness through thanksgiving and prayer.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Phil. 4:8

Filter the bad out of the good, and you’re left with good. And, if we’re left with good, we’re left with God. We want this.

Prayer Against Destructive Doubt:

God, you are in everything. You are above everything. You know everything. You are orchestrating everything. All control is yours. All vision is yours. All power is yours. You move the handle on my life. Thank you that you want to take care of me. Thank you that you love me. You withhold no good thing from me. Thank you that I can trust you. Not with half my heart, but with my whole heart. Thank you that you know my way, even when it looks not like “my way.” Grant me greater faith to trust you by faith. Stand closer to me so I can dwell in your love. Help keep my mind steadfast on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. If I move with you, I won’t depart from you. Teach me God in all your ways. I am open and willing to what you want to do in me. I need you, God. Amen.

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

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She Let Me Down, Again!

April 19, 2017

purposefulfaith

Contentment, control, doubt, fear

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She let me down. Again. She always does.

Now, it’s as if:

She owes me something.
She’s responsible now to figure out how to console me.
Her actions need to shift for me to ever love her.
Everything needs to change before I can be happy.
I win, as a better person, because she’s always losing.

What shocks me about my above brutally-honest list is – when I look at it, I could have striked all those words and just written: me, me, me! I could have summarized it all up: “You stink, lady, you are not good enough and you better improve or I’ll always live hurt.”

Who made her God? And who made me so reliant she rules my emotions, pride, joy and peace?

When people rule us, we aren’t being ruled by God. It’s a give in. God’s gone – gone.

But you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all, to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel. (Heb. 11:22-24)

We have come to Jesus.

Not to a woman who lets us down.
Not to a job we detest.
Not to a boss who favors others.
Not to a child who is completely and utterly defiant.
Not to questions that rule over us.
Not to a spouse who speaks meanly.
Not to a situation that is ruling us.

We have come to God, the Judge, the one who makes us righteous, perfect, to the mediator, to the one who sprinkled grace over our head and declared us as his own.

Man will let us down, God won’t. He’s already lifted us up to seat us with Christ (Eph. 2:6) and, even better, He’s declared the deed, the position for us final by saying, “It is finished. (Jo. 19:30)” And, guess what? It is.

So, who can tie us up to the back of the car and drag us through the gravel? No one.

Who can rip out our voice and tell us it’s worthless? No one.

Who can hurt us time and time again, thereby ruining our soul? No one.

Humbly, we rest under him. Jesus. The one crushed, so we emotionally aren’t. The one beaten so we could beat relational pain through Him. The one mocked, so when we are, we remember He understands, knows and cares for us. The one broken, so we could be healed. The one victorious, who marks us that name alike.

We aren’t the product of a person’s action. Or, maybe we are. We are the product of Jesus’ actions. And, by Him, we are saved from the things that want to take us down.

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God, Help Me Not to Judge

April 18, 2017

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, doubt, sin

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God, please teach me not to judge.
Please. Teach. Me. Not. To. Judge.

Not…to judge the mom at the coffee store who is looking at her phone
when all her toddler wants is her undivided attention.
I do that myself.

Not my husband who is tired when he walks through the door and is looking for rest.
I always want what he requests, but I am terrified to admit it.

Not the driver who nearly side-swiped me last week and then gave me a dirty look.
I nearly drove a car off the road and into shoulder this morning.

Not the woman I consider self-indulgent, self-seeking and far too self-interested.
Many a day, I’ve tried to dress so well, so right, to look perfect. I want to be seen.

Not the family member who is always letting me down, getting under my skin.
God, you really do know, my timely, ordered ways could drive anyone nuts.

Not the person who believes, politically, things far more different and strange than I.
I’ve never walked a day in their shoes.

Not the person I look nothing like.
Just because they don’t reflect me, Jesus, doesn’t mean they don’t reflect you.

Not the person making every single wrong decision in the book.
I made so many bad decisions, I nearly killed myself way back when, but still, hope was never lost.

Not the one who offends me and continually tries to drive me nuts.
Before I run forward with insults, I should remember they likely have a background of pain.

Not me, and all the hundreds of ways I’m offensive.
I let you down all the time, but immediately, Jesus, you toss my offenses on the flip-side of this world when I say, “Sorry.”

Just as much as they are developing, I am too… We are too…

Our stories are complex. Our growth is slow. Our faith is increasing. You’ve planned it this way, God. It takes trust, piles of it. And, space, room to make allowance for others and ourselves.

Yet, when we run to cast labels, decisions, verdicts and opinions on people, we steal this space. We steal the space you’ve given us to observe. Don’t let me steal the wonder of your works. You are working something. You are moving as you will. As I give leeway, you give way to the wonderful work you’ve always intended to do.

When I fill it that space with negativity, captivity, critiques and prognoses, I steal peace, growth, hope and new life. I don’t want my mind, heart and soul filled with these degrading and base motives. What a waste! What a rip-off for them and me!

Stop me from doing that.

God, give me patience to lift others, rather than to hate them.
God, give me eyes to see your beauty in them; it is always there.
God, give me a mouth that affirms differences, not one that pushes them aside.

God, make me into a peace-maker, not a finger-pointer.
God, make me aware of my faults, so I don’t ever believe I’m too good for your calling.
God, make me need others, so I never stand above them.

God, strengthen humility, erase my pride.
God, show me the low road, so I can lift others high.
God, soften my impulses and slow down my need to decide.

God, open a door so I can walk much-needed love inside.
God, soften my heart so I can bridge great divides.
God, remove my tough skin, so you can sink inside.

God, you are the only power I have to change.

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Dream a Little Dream

April 17, 2017

purposefulfaith

awe, birth, Contentment, dreams

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And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Eph. 3:18-19

I have a dream.

Ever had one of those? A ridiculous thing? A hope? A wish? A prayer? Something you want, but feels impossible to have? Something that if it came true, you’d feel like – you made it, you lived out what you were created for?

I have this dream, much of it revolves around Ephesians 3:18-19:

That we, as American women, would stand like tall oaks, unwavering, because we are rooted in God’s love.
That we, together, would be planted, with power to mobilize, migrate and make a difference.
That we would extend love that surpasses – knowledge.
That we would be filled with the full measure of God, thereby never being the same again.

I don’t know how this all looks, but something in me sees something uprising and I’m just going to walk by faith. I believe if I plant my seed into fertile soil, God will sink the beginnings of roots right into his love. Love grows things.

So, here I’ll stand. Holding my seed, waiting. Trusting, his love. Believing, He’ll grow it. I expect to return back to this post, smiling. I expect to have remembered the start of a big dream. I expect to encounter trials of many varieties, but I also expect to encounter a triumphant God who always wins. I expect to press on and to press in. I expect to come out different, with new light, His light.

This is faith, I’m learning.

What faith do you need to execute your dream?

Let me tell you what you don’t need: You don’t need people to act a certain way. You don’t need to handle all those excuses. You don’t need more strength. You don’t need to lose that job. You don’t need to wipe clean your errors of the past. You don’t need to know “how”. You don’t need to know “when”. You don’t need people to “get it”. You don’t need new resources. You don’t need more qualifications. Nope.

God, nearly every time, uses the least exemplary of these to do the most extraordinary things. Moses. Noah. David. Mary.

Dream a little dream, friend.

And go easy on it, for a dream is just a vapor. You hold it up to God. He breathes on it. It forms, grows limbs, moves, speaks and then guides.

All you need is Him. The pressure is off you. All you need is faith. Faith activates great.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory…forever and ever! (Eph. 3:20-21)

We don’t need to know, He does.
We need only pray, He’ll have his way.
We need only trust, He’s bigger than us.
We need a giant belief He’ll pull through.
We need a bit of grace to take us.
We need eyes for everlasting glory, not our own fleeting glory.
We need reliance on Jesus Christ.
We need praise, worship and thanks.
We need to return all glory to our maker.
We need to make it all about love.
We need wild faith.

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7 Ways: From Manic Mode to Peace

April 14, 2017

purposefulfaith

attack, blessings, Contentment, fear, grace

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Pots and pans where flung everywhere. I didn’t really know what I was doing, except I knew dinner needed to get on that table, before the two screaming heads even more flipped a lid. Move faster, Kelly.

I tried to maneuver around the crumbs and grease that were splattered everywhere. I tried to manage a deep conversation with my husband while pulling the salmon out of the oven. I threw it on the stove, checked the hardness of the fish (yep…rock-solid, alright) and then proceeded to grabb the handle with my bare hand….Yeee-oww!!!!

I burnt the living-cells right off my palm of my hand.

I’ve decided, in manic-mode, I do dumb things.

I guess you could say this is a theme in my life.

Manic-mode at work: I’d rush so fast, I’d send the “I am so frustrated at my boss” email not to my co-worker two cubes over, but directly to him.

Manic-mode in the car: I pulled out so fast out of school, I crush metal like it’s nobody’s business. Car’s totaled.

Manic-mode with kids: I fear someone is going to fall in the bathroom, so I lean over to shut the door with a baby in hand and her toe gets slammed. It busts wide open. Baby gets stitches at the ER.

My heart longs for manic-mode, sometimes. I don’t know what is wrong with me? It’s like somehow I think I am more productive there, like the hot-flashes of anxiety are going to produce something, like more will get done and somehow I’ll end up being recognized as the shining star mom of the universe. It never happens.

What is it producing? Burnt hands. Angry bosses. Ruined cars. Babies with stitches. Internal frustration. Residual guilt. Kitchens left half cleaned up because I’m either dealing with the likes of insurance agencies, ER rooms or burn marks. FAIL.

What is manic-mode producing in your life? Where do you see it show up? Why do you chase it?

I think I believe if I rush, the loud sounds of my life will hush and I’ll make space for peace. Like, I’ll run to the destination real fast and then I’ll have time left over to chill there. To lay down. It doesn’t work that way, I’m learning.

“My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Ex. 33:14

To make peace, it works much more like this:

You ask God to be with you through everything.
You trust him to be with you through everything.
You don’t become a marathon sprinter.
You look out for God to be with you through everything.
you still don’t let yourself become a marathon sprinter.
You notice God be with you through everything.
You find some peace, and even some rest, through the process.

Why? Because He’s taking lead. The destination is not your destination, but God is the destination. And, when God is the destination, you’ve arrived.

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6 Verses: God Travels Ahead of You

April 13, 2017

purposefulfaith

awe, birth, blessings, Contentment

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There is a huge ravine behind my house. If you make it down without falling or getting caught in a rabbit hole, you’ll find yourself at a playground. On most days, my kids longingly stare at it from our kitchen.

On a good sunny day, after rain storms are done and passed, I take the hike with them. As a good mom, or, at least, one who tries to be, I look for everything that could go wrong along the way. If I see a thorn bush, I pull it away before it snags them. If I see a bunch of rocks that may twist their ankle, I lead them in a different direction. If I see a huge ditch that might entrap them, I make sure to lift them over.

I go before my children… My eyes travel the path before them, so harm doesn’t as much befall them.

God does the same for us.

No matter what path we walk down, God is one step ahead. No matter what mountain we come up against, He is already climbing it. No matter what journey of uncertainty we encounter, God is 100 steps further. He’s laying out our path and preparing our steps. He’s flattening the land and preparing our journey. He’s uncovering our gold and laying it out for us.

He sees our way.

Sometimes, it seems, we believe we tread through this world, alone, like little boxcar children, trying to make it to the next meal. I’ve been thinking, this could not be further from the truth. We are always right next to God’s goodness.

Check out all the ways God goes before us:

“The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8

‘The LORD your God who goes before you will Himself fight on your behalf…Deuteronomy 1:30

You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Psalm 139:5 (NLT)

For the LORD will go before you, And the God of Israel will be your rear guard. Is. 52:12

I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. Is. 45:2

To Him who led His people through the wilderness, For His lovingkindness is everlasting; Ps. 136:16

God is famous for caring and preparing us for greater things. He walks ahead to fight the battles we fear we can’t win. He calms the seas we’re convinced we can’t beat. He softens the blows we worry will take us down. He knows our road. He understands our coming trauma. He knows how to lead us through it.

Do you know what this means? We can worry less.

Just as I opened up the right path for my kids, God is opening the right path for us. It is for good. It will strengthen us. It will help us. It will lead us in the right way. It will lift us above harm.

God is always a step ahead, even when life makes us feel we’ve been left behind. Be it a marriage that is going under, a financial trial that looks impossible to fix, a baby that never seems to come, an addiction you can’t seem to beat, a dream that never surfaces – no matter, he’s a step ahead, working on your behalf.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Is. 41:10

Why Faith Hurts Sometimes

April 12, 2017

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, doubt, faith, fear

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My son limped into the kitchen unleashing small screams. He looked like a dog with a crippled leg and whined like Poodle just freed from a jammed doggy door. Needless to say, any enjoyment, quiet or solitude that comes with morning coffee left, quickly. “I can’t walk. I can’t….mommy!”

All 40-pounds of him appeared, stumbled and reached out for me in agony.

I didn’t move, just smiled and said, “Good, Michael, God is answering your prayers.”

Now before you think I’m the most insensitive mom out there, which at times, I can be, let me tell you: Kid’s been praying for strength. He’s also spent hours the day before playing at a jump-zone, a rough and tumble get-all-your energy-out kid playground of the indoor variety. Kid was plain-and-simple – sore.

Often, when we pray for strength, we’re shocked by the means in which we get it.

I explained to him how muscles tear when pushed physically, but how they repair stronger. They’re torn, so they may be rebuilt with more power.

Likewise, when we pray for growth, strength or to look like Christ, we’re often torn in order to be rebuilt with more power.

What tears are you experiencing today? What might be breaking for God’s remaking?

Be not discouraged, the tearing starts the rebuiliding. What he’s pulling on, will become more beautiful in time. What He’s doing is not to hurt you, but to help you. What strength you’ve prayed for, is likely in process.

We can’t see it in the moment, because, in the moment, is a test of sorts, kind of like this:

(Jesus) said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do. John 6:5-6

Jesus was building Philip’s faith muscle. He tested it to see if it was strong and then, by multiplying loaves and fish, he ripped his disbelief and made it whole.

He’s likely doing that with us too.

What might God be calling you to believe in?

Inviting you to see?

Tearing so he can make it even bigger, bolder and better for his name?

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Seeing Through Fog

April 10, 2017

purposefulfaith

attack, awe, Contentment

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My head was just as much in a fog as my identical surroundings. I could no longer a foot past my windshield. I could no longer see the water I knew surrounded the bridge. It was gone, swallowed by the wholeness of the sky. Everything about this morning represented my feelings: confused, torn and worn.

Will God break through when I cannot see?

Does He see me when I feel I’m in this place of nothingness?
Does He care about my problems enough to fix them?
Does he run to the rescue of a daughter who feels alone?

Upon arrival, I got out of the car and walked, as I planned to. I wandered the grounds; I hoped to meet Jesus. Will He show up?

A tad discouraged, I kept knocking. I kept asking. God says he answers this type of seeker, that He opens things up for them (Mt. 7:7). We can always try.

Pushing on,
Pressing in,
Placing him on the top of our mind…

We can hope in the fact that Jesus is our hope…

And, with this, I realized something about perseverance, prayer and fog:

Prayer: Those who desperately press into God’s heart, always find it.
Perseverance: If we keep running, even when we can’t see, we begin to see by faith. It’s almost like we don’t have to see all the answers. We know a good God does. We know his ways are not like ours. We know, every time, eventually, the fog lifts.
Fog: It’s not all bad.
If we let God’s love fog our mind, we see what matters. We cloud out worries, heartache and endless thoughts. We recognize the futility of all those matters. We notice His complete wrapping, His unfolding. We see Him. Just us – and Him. There’s no pressure to be elsewhere, for we can’t see it. It doesn’t matter. And, what we see? It’s Him. What matters. And, somehow we know, now, we see just right.We’ve found what we’re searching for.

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Fighting the Enemy: To Win!

April 7, 2017

purposefulfaith

attack, Contentment, control, devil

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My son has been learning about the devil in school. He’s also been learning about the archangel Michael. So, in the adorableness of all his toddler years, he’s been playing an action hero game, of sorts, where he’s got a split personality. One minute, his face contorts into the completion of all meaness (cute alert!!!) and the next, the softness and heroic nature of angel Michael returns (Yay!! Peace & calm for mommy!).

I’m the target of his wrath when he’s all devil-faced and vengeful, because, here, he attempts to spit in my face (and sometimes wins). He tumbles me to the ground. He declares I’ll be ruined, I’m bad and a goner! He pulls with all his might trying to get me into the lake of fire. He yells at me. I’m in for it.

It’s the match of all matches.

And, I still can’t figure out why angel-face hardly ever shows up? I’m left fending against his wild and unpredictable attacks, his yells and pushes. I try to do my best but it gets tiring and sometimes I feel like giving up. I have to be on guard for his quick moves. I have to anticipate what is happening next: a diversion, a distraction, a mean word, a pull, a push or a tug.

Undoubtedly, it’s a wrestling match.

If I don’t fight, I lose.
If I don’t stand up for myself, I’ll fall into that lake.
If I don’t press in, He’ll pin me down.
If I don’t speak back against his lies that I am bad, I’ll give in to them.
If I don’t speak the truth, I’ll feel injured, debased and abused.
If I don’t push back a bit, I’ll be punished by the ridicule of his words.

Fighting against the devil is a wrestling match; if you don’t push back, you be mentally pushed where you don’t want to go. You’ll believe things, God doesn’t want you to believe. You’ll go places, God never intended you go.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Eph. 6:12

The fight is real! R.E.A.L. Really happening.

Yet, to stand firm, to remain in faith and to preserve our heart, we must, like I wrestled against my son, fight back: He moves in with a sly word, a mistruth, we push back, with a Word from God. He tries to spit out doubt God will really help through prayer, we get down on our knees and pray anyway. He yells loudly we’re so stupid and always failing, and we declare even louder that Christ’s power is perfected in our weakness. He grabs our leg to pull us into temptation, to slowly move us where we never intended to go, we say, “Not a chance I’m going there! That will remove me from the joy, peace and purposes of the Lord!”

We get really serious about wrestling to win. Not in a way where we are afraid to lose, because, Great is our power over the enemy, thanks to Jesus Christ. But, in a way where we know the lies, the pulls, the beginnings of a match when we see one. Then, we engage to win.

And, guess what, we do. He can’t touch us.

Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. Eph. 6:11

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What Gives, God? Where are You?

April 4, 2017

purposefulfaith

awe, blessings, Contentment, doubt, dreams

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What is stuck in your mind? What hassles you?

We all have our thing. Don’t tell me you don’t. It’s what you gravitate to in silence. It is what makes your heart nervous because, no matter how you strategize, you can’t figure out the puzzle. You can’t figure how you’ll be delivered to peaceful, serene. There are no answers. God hasn’t pulled through.

Moses was a little puzzled too.

God told Moses at the burning bush to lead the Israelites out of slavery.

Ummm? What??? ME!!???

Yes, you!

“And I will make the Egyptians favorably disposed toward this people, so that when you leave you will not go empty-handed.” (Ex. 3:21)

Okay, God, maybe this is possible…you have my back. God will do this! I am bustin’ my people outta here!!!

I wonder if Moses was thinking the same? If excitement coursed through him, an eagerness to do God’s will?

In any case, Moses proceeds forward all obedient, faithful and bold. He approaches Pharoah and declares, (I imagine him standing all upright, strong and rock-solid, confident God will speak out of a local bush on his behalf if need-be), “Let my people go.”

Pharaoh’s response? “Make(s) the work harder for the people…” (Ex. 5:9)

What?!! The outcome was the opposite of the promise.

What gives, God???

Maybe you’re asking God that too. What gives, God???

Why did you call me to something huge, only to not make it happen?
Why did you lead me to respond in this way, when it is backfiring in my face?
Why did you promise and not deliver?

What gives, God???

God’s response to Moses, speaks profoundly to our very own questions. God says, “Now you will see what I will do to Pharaoh: Because of my mighty hand he will let them go; because of my mighty hand he will drive them out of his country.”

God also said to Moses, “I am the Lord….and I have remembered my covenant.” (Ex. 6:1-2, 5)

Here are 5 points we can take away from this:

1. God speaks to us similarly, saying “you will see…”

Oftentimes, the long wait is because God is preparing something great.

2. God is still Lord.

God might not do things like us, but then again, would we want him to? What God is working, will eventually amount to blessing.

3. God will do what he has promised to do.

He will “remember his covenant.” If God said it, He will see it through.

4. Often, we need to know our progress is because of God’s “mighty hand.” Twice God repeats this line to Moses.

Our wait might be because others need to see that God is great. When his light shines through the darkness of a long cavernous agony, it appears even brighter from the outside.

5. God responds to our pain as we call on his name.

God didn’t leave Moses at the burning bush to figure out captivity and release all by himself. He returned to Moses, he instructed him and he assured him. As we call out to God, God can’t help but approach our hearts with love and compassion. Because it is who he is and what he does.

So, what gives? God is giving you something better. He is giving you a chance to get to know his nature. He is giving you a chance to see something miraculous. He giving you deeper faith. That’s what gives.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

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