Purposeful Faith

Author - purposefulfaith

Stop Trying to Fix Yourself

So, I know you all know I wrote the book, Fear Fighting. I also know you know if there is anyone who should be fearless – it’s me. But, guess what? I admit it. I am not.

After a recent stressful situation, I was told by a family member, “You need to work on your anxiety issue.” This gave me anxiety.

Before she made this comment, I was leaps and bounds more anxiety-free than ever before. In fact, I considered what God did a miracle. But right after she said this, it felt like someone dropped a 50-pound brick off the Empire State building and it landed on my chest. The burn started up…

For days, I lost any sense of inner comfort and felt a new overwhelming sense of pounding nervousness.

Oh, how I wanted to blame her.

But I didn’t…well, I kind of did.

Man, what I’d worked through, she put back on me.

For days, I worked to work it away. For days, I pressed to bring back God’s peace. For days, I struggled and fought to pretend it wasn’t there. For days, I felt acted upon and angered by it all.

For days.

On the 5th day, I said to myself, “Of course, Kelly, you have anxiety. You’ve been through a hard time. You had a big family issue. You had some sin issues within yourself to contend with. You’re taking on a huge project right now, as you write a new book. And, you are also moving in a few days to a new area. It’s like the world is on your shoulders. Make room for this emotion to live, to breathe before God and be patient. God will work there, in the space where self-hatred is absent.”

I realized I could stop “performing peace” and let “Peace” come. And this is what happened. With less attention on performance and a clear focus on God’s love, it faded.

Jesus took it. He took it as I focused on Him – not on it. He took it as I remembered his all-sufficiency. He took it as I made room for rest. He took it as I let go of any anger I once had at that family member. He took it as I found myself free to not fix myself. He took it.

Thank you, God. Please keep it.

What might Jesus want to take from you through peaceful waiting? Where you are absent of self-hatred, remorse and condemnation?  Where you don’t demand yourself to improve but wait on God?

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

When People Attack You

attack you

The person said something horrendous about me. They said I take things personally and don’t always see things for what they are.

I have to tell you, I took it personally.

They were the ones with a finger pointed at me.
They were the ones with three fingers pointing back at them.
They were just as guilty of everything they accuse me of.
They were attacking me with mean words and I didn’t want to listen.

They pushed me to my boiling point. I was enraged with my stomach was in knots and my chest red hot with anger. Clenching my firsts, I wondered, “Why am I always the problem?

I didn’t want to listen anymore. I wanted to walk away. I wanted to be done with them and the hurt they caused.

They aren’t for me. They are against me.

Sometimes it’s easier to mark people as one way or the other: For or against, good or bad, rude or kind, attacking or compassionate. It’s easy to mark someone, turn the other way and be done. Be done with what feels intrusive. Especially when it attacks your heart in a personal way.

But what if their words have merit? I considered this: Perhaps the words I am trying to kill could heal if I let them.

What words have you taken personally?  What might happen if you permitted what you pushed away to inch its way into your heart? How would God use it?

“Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.” (Prov. 19:20)

What if the words being sent to us are heaven sent? What if God doesn’t allow them for our demise, but he uses them so we can rise?

Powerful is the woman who sets her mind on God, changes, and grows in his name. She listens to others. She considers words aside from her feelings, quick responses and rebuttals and sees the other’s view.

Friends, I admit I do take things personally. I get hurt easily. I am sensitive. I like to be seen in good light. I have a hard time seeing my flaws. But in Christ, I am not reprimanded and sent to bed with no dinner. I am not chained to my sin. I am not berated and yelled at to do right.

I am helped. I am comforted. I am encouraged.

I may not be perfect but as I actively pursue Christ, I am helped. I am moving from glory to glory, grace to grace and peace to peace. I am shedding off Kelly Balarie and finding the real Jesus.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” (Gal. 2:20)

The pain of listening, admitting and owning is worth it…for when we die, we find Jesus alive in us.

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Why Coming & Going is Not Boring

Not Boring

Ever noticed how life feels jam packed with comings and goings? We come to our day brushing our teeth, and go from our day in a similar way. We come to our morning commute and go home in a like fashion. If we’re not careful, everything can feel like coming and going, commuting and coming home, hurrying then returning.

Even our Christian walk can become routine. Or communion. We come to the bread; we go back to our seat. The wine comes to our seat; it goes down the row.

I have been thinking of the power of coming and going. But, perhaps there is power in this coming and going…

Jesus said, “A time is coming when I will no longer use this kind of language but will tell you plainly about my Father.” Jo. 16:25

“I came from the Father and entered the world; now I am leaving the world and going back to the Father.” Jo. 16:28

In coming to Jesus, we go forward loved.
In coming to the cross, we go into the world with fears relieved.
In coming to communion, we go forth with continual freedom.
In coming to God, we find our flesh going away.
In coming with hunger, we find God working in and nourishing us.
In coming with active pursuit, we find ourselves filled to go out into the world.

Jesus does this. In coming to him, he prepares us for whatever go we have ahead. Even if it’s rough. Even if it requires our mind. Even if we don’t think we can.

Our coming prepares our going. And it settles our future…

In Jesus’ coming to earth, we can go to heaven as children of God. No matter what.
In Jesus’ coming to save us, we find ourselves going forward with purpose, even when all our chips are down.
In coming to see our inadequacies, we find God’s saving power going out from his Word.

Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” (Jo. 6:35). 

Never. Ever.

We come to him, and we go away from the world to become his light.

They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. (Jo. 17:16)

Father God, we are coming to you and going away from our world. We are coming to your peace and going from our fear. We are coming with our heart moving and going away from our hardened heart. We are coming with the hard work of forgiveness done and going away expecting you have better things. We are coming knowing you are what we’re hungry for and going with reliance on you. We are coming to the knowledge of your power and we are going out with greater strength. Teach us God. Send us out in your ways. May we take and eat of you every day, so we go and meet with you in all our ways. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

The Enemy Can Trick You in a Split-Second

Enemy Can Trick

I was taking my normal morning walk when something caught my eye and tried to lure me. A hand waving from the side of a building.

Was he calling me?

Sure enough, he was. He wanted me to come over.

Now, this time of day just happens to be my time with God. A time of walk and talk. It’s also a time I am really receptive to being used by him. So, for a split-second, I considered walking down and talking with this fellow.

Maybe I can reach him for Christ. 

I took my ear buds off and yelled down the hill, “What do you want?” He motioned for me to come down to him – behind the liquor store.

I considered it, but I didn’t go. I didn’t go because:

  1. He was standing behind a liquor store.
  2. He was a he.
  3. I got the feeling he was up to no good.

And as I walked away, I was in shock: How could I have ever considered doing something so dumb?

Around my house are tons of motels. There are also a lot of drug addicts and prostitutes. I came to realize upon reflection, he was likely a pimp.

Scary, I know.

But what I also realized is that sometimes the enemy can trick us in the name of Jesus. He can pull us into strategies, plans, motions or words we think are God-filled, but are actually traps set to nab us.

Christian, beware.

The serpent said to Eve, “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” (Gen. 3:5)

The devil appealed to Eve’s senses with something spiritual. He lured her in with a promise of a greater vision of God. He made her believe she was doing something God already knew about. Likely, he made her feel like God was okay with it. He convinced her she’d have greater vision of good and evil.

God would want that, right?

“(Eve) wanted the wisdom it would give her.” (Gen. 3:6)

That doesn’t sound like such a bad cause, does it?

Beware: Just because God is involved doesn’t mean it is a God-cause.

Beware: Just because there is need, doesn’t mean that you’re the one God needs to walk into it.

Beware: Just because you want God’s ways doesn’t mean you go about it on your own.

The enemy will trick us with whatever device he knows will work. Sometimes, it is even things of God.

To fight this:

  1. Seek.
  2. Pray.
  3. Discern.
  4. Act or don’t act.
  5. If you choose not to act, don’t let the enemy trick you with the shame of “not doing”.

It could save your life.

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

How To Hold On To Joy… No Matter What

No Matter

Post by: Carey Scott

Some women make ministry look glorious and easy.

Their outfits are adorable. They look confident in how they carry themselves. They seem to have perfect lives. Their understanding of scripture is mind-blowing. And we wonder if God is more pleased with them than He is with… us.

And deep down, we may even envy their notoriety. Don’t we all have a desire to be seen and known.

I’ll be honest… this kind of mindset makes me want to scream. I can’t stand it when I let myself go down this road of thinking. Because I know everyone struggles as they navigate life. No one has it all together…

… regardless of who they are.

Here is the hard, cold truth: No matter how it may look, ministry is hard.

It’s a call to be vulnerable and open with your life—your story. It’s choosing to sit down at your computer or stand in front of an audience and pick the scab off your deepest wounds. It’s a radical act of obedience when we feel lacking and even unqualified. And sometimes it feels like you’re setting yourself up for a big heart thump.

Last year was one of those times.

Within about 3 months…

… I lost a good ministry-minded friend,
… an opportunity to work with an amazing group of Jesus-girls exploded,
… and I was betrayed at the deepest level by someone in ministry.

That trifecta knocked me down. Hard. And I lost my joy for ministry.

It made me question the calling on my life, wondering if maybe I heard God wrong. I was on the verge of quitting, frustrated because I felt He had abandoned me. It just felt like too much heartache to handle.

But then God. Those three words are so powerful.
But then God nudged women to send affirming emails at just the right time.
But then God crossed my path with the paths of encouragers at the right moment.
But then God spoke the right words into my heart.

And my hopelessness began to lift… my perspective began to shift… and joy began to trickle back in.

Honestly, I am still low on the joy-meter. It’s a process, right? But I know the only One who can restore it is God.

And we’re working on it together.

Friend, where is joy draining from your life?

Where are you struggling to hold on to it?

Maybe it’s in a marriage that feels fragile or because a child is making bad choices. It could be because of your failing health or because your finances are unstable. Are you losing joy because of a strained friendship, a moral failure or a career that seems stuck?

What if we looked at our circumstances a little differently?

Mother Teresa once said, “The best way to show my gratitude to God is to accept everything, even my problems, with joy.” This is meaty. It’s trust on steroids. And it is faith to the core.

But even better…

1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us… “Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live” (MSG).

God is asking us to engage in uncommon gratitude when life is draining our joy.

That means we thank God no matter what happens. It means we don’t focus on what’s lost, but instead focus on what’s left… and to be grateful for it.

It means we praise Him in the storm.

We don’t have to thank God for allowing cancer or death or pain in our life. I’m not sure we could ever genuinely find gratitude in that. Instead, we show gratitude because we know God is bigger than what we are facing, and that He is intricately involved in the details.

And that choice—choosing praise over hopelessness—is what takes us from common to uncommon.

Friends, praise will always usher in joy when we’re struggling to find it. It’s a negativity-buster and gratitude-generator at the same time. And it will keep us tethered to hope… no matter what comes our way.

Let’s be joy-carriers and show the next generation how it’s done so they can harness its power in their own lives.

I know you can do this.

Because of Jesus, you have everything it takes to #beUncommon. Now choose it.

About Carey Scott 

Carey Scott is an author and speaker, honest about her walk with the Lord… stumbles, fumbles and all. Her NEWLY RELEASED BOOK, Uncommon, a battle cry for women to step out of the ordinary and live with purpose and passion. Carey also wrote Untangled, a book about the insecurities we face as women and how to live in freedom. She lives in Northern Colorado with her family. Learn more at CareyScott.org. You can also connect with her on Facebook.

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For The Days You Don’t Feel Like a Good Christian

Good Christian

If you saw me in the heat of the moment, you’d no doubt say, “She isn’t a good Christian. She made a mess of everything and she’s no good. Rotten.”

Sitting here, I’m inclined to agree.

I made a horrible mistake. I didn’t have wrong intentions, but I certainly used the wrong actions. I pointed fingers at people. I unleashed venom on people. I put an electric current on everyone and everything. Left people fried.

And now I hate myself for it. Sitting here. I really do.

I said my, “I’m sorries.” But it doesn’t take away the fact that I was a bad representative for Jesus. It doesn’t take away the fact that some weaknesses get the better of me. It doesn’t take away the fact that people are still suffering. It doesn’t take away the fact that I feel horrible.

Maybe today, you are considering unsubscribing from my blog. I wouldn’t blame you. Maybe you thought I was a better Christian. I guess I thought so too… I suppose I would have relied on God a little more.

These and a hundred more thoughts consumed me as I pressed my head against the steering wheel today, and cried.

Oh, the regret!

Until, something shifted… I imagined Jesus. There. Weak, on a cross, arms wide open, crying out, “Father, forgive (her), for (she) knows not what (she) does.” (Lu. 23:34)

Forgive Kelly, she realizes not how she speaks before she thinks.
Forgive Kelly, she knows not how her mind gets ahead of things.
Forgive ___, she makes mistakes non-stop.
Forgive ___, she tells little white lies.
Forgive ___, she is desperately afraid.
Forgive ___, she is just looking for attention.
Forgive (insert your name), she is …..

What do you hold against yourself?

Jesus died saying, “Forgive them,” and he wrapped things up by saying, “It is finished.”

And, so it is.

Because it is finished, I can be finished with what I did. Because it is finished, you can be finished with your bad deeds too.

Whether they are from today or 500 todays ago, Jesus already declared your worst deeds are done. Let them die.

When Jesus looks at us now, I see him lifting us. I see him beholding his righteousness in us. I see him declaring his holiness in us. I see him noticing his blood that marks us blameless. I imagine him holding us before the world to say, “This is my daughter, with whom I am well pleased.”

This is who we are in his eyes. His view is all that matters.

Anything left after asking forgiveness of others and God is just shame.

Because in Christ, we are loved even when we feel unlovable. We are remarkable, even when we feel marked with sin. We are whole because Jesus gave up every bit of his body. This cannot be undone. It is the permanent power meant for all believers.

Your shame is finished. Right now, let it poof away. Jesus annihilated it at the cross.

Done.

This is the power of Christ.

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

The Way Out if You’re Angry and Bitter

Angry and Bitter

I recently talked with a friend.

Plain as day, she told me:

  1. I can’t hear God.
  2. I am upset at God.
  3. Others have done me wrong.

Maybe you are there too. Maybe there are miles of distance between you and your once beloved Father, God. Maybe you are irritated, although you likely don’t admit it. Maybe you feel God has let you down. Maybe you are counting up all the ways others have failed, hurt, and insulted you.

Maybe you can’t see straight because you want to let the world, have it!

We’ve all been there. Or at least I have. I remember, I felt God let me down so badly I’d go to church, pretend I was voicing the worship songs, count the lights and draw doodles on my notepad rather than giving the pastor one second of my listening ear.

It seems what others do to us, we displace onto God.

Which is why there is only one way out of this mess: forgiveness.

Yes, it is that word. The one we cringe at.  Because we hate to do it. We hate, hate, hate to let go of the injury that was SO WRONG, SO UNDUE, SO MEAN, SO RUDE, SO INFURIATING…SO, SO, SO!

But, the reality is, that person, who injured us doesn’t continue to lose, when we hold on to bitterness, we do. That person who was horrible doesn’t get their due from our resentment, we do. We don’t hurt them. We are the ones who stay hurt. We are the ones who live the offense over and over. We are the ones who stay in pain.

Unforgiveness is the enemy’s trick. He steals, kills, and destroys the freedom waiting on the other side of our anger. He keeps us wrapped up in the agony of the unjust, the immoral and the inept. He keeps our mind off Jesus.

Indeed, he’s cunning. But, God is greater. And, so is forgiveness. It breaks every shackle. It tears off every band-aid. It restores peace. It renews joy. It returns us to high standing with God, where we feel okay with talking to him.

Forgiveness is our way home. Do you need to come home? To a God who wants to comfort you in your time of need.

Prayer:

Dear God, I am angry at  ____ because they ____. I know that as I let them go, you will handle them. I hand them to you today, Lord. I forgive them in your name. I ask you to bless them and to keep them. I ask you to heal whatever was hurt within me as a result of them. Repair me. Repair them. Be near to me. Thank you, my God. Amen. 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

My Jaw-Drop Moment

Moment

Getting rid of my furniture, indeed, was hard. As each person came to pick up their new goods, a little part of me went out the door with the cushions, the tables, and the lamps…. It’s just stuff, Kelly! 

But, it was my stuff!

So, trying to make the best of a hard situation, we turned on music. My three-year-old daughter jumped around and my son ran all over the room. We sang words about God’s faithfulness, goodness, and promises. But, I never expected what happened next…

Son took all his money, contained in a large Ziploc bag. The pennies, quarters, and dimes he’d been saving for weeks. The money he’d earned through lemonade stands, house chores and online book sales. The pile he’d been guarding like a military soldier. He dug deep into the bag and – fistful by fistful – he threw it in the air so it landed before the throne of God.

“More. I’ll give God, more,” He’d say, returning to the bag, until it was all gone.

Why? He said, “I felt God wanted me to give this money to him.”

My son gave his treasure. He said: It’s all God’s.

What I have: is all God’s.
What you have: is all God’s.

How do we use God’s money to bless Him?

After our worship session was done, I asked my son if he wanted to give that money to our church. He said, “No mom, I still want to get a drone.”

And, while, for a moment, I was unsure about his reply, the more I thought about it, the more I realized, God doesn’t guilt us into giving.

“God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Cor. 9:7)

I mentioned to my son he might want to: think about sharing it, let a friend borrow or ask God how he can use it in a way that serves his purpose.

How might God be calling you to honor him with your resources – your time, your passions, your money, your heart, your life, or your living room furniture? How might it look to adorn his throne with what you’ve been given?

It’s all His. It’s all entrusted to you. It’s all waiting to be used for his glory, with no guilt attached.

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

How to Combat Mean Words

Mean Words

“So, what is your life worth, anyway? Doesn’t look like much…”

Yes, that is what the person said to me. And, yes, it took everything in me, not to hit back with…

Well, hotshot, what’s your life worth? 

Because, how do you reply after a question like this?

I didn’t answer. Instead, I sat there dumbfounded with a pocket knife hanging out my side. Like a victim. Bloody. All I could do was stare at it. Then, it hurt more.

And, while I knew, these words were insult-fueled, they were all I could think of…

Am I a waste?
Am I no good?
Does God think I am a failure?

Insults become attached to us – and come alive in us. 

I wonder, has someone insulted you? Maybe they’re insulting you today? Maybe they won’t shut up in your mind.

Insults often hit like this:

“You’re sin caused this to happen.”
“You are no good.”
“You are ugly.”
“You are selfish.”
“You are rude.”
“You don’t ever ____.”
“You are worthless.”
(Add your own)

You know the words, but how do you know how to protect yourself? This is what has eluded me for decades.

Until recently…

Let me tell you about that, but before I do, let me tell you about my daughter.

She has this saying. It is one she speaks if she really doesn’t like, want, or consider something good to hear. When something comes at her like this, she pushes her hands towards you as if she’s handing back what she doesn’t want.

Then, she sings, “Take it, take it, I don’t want to bake it.”

She doesn’t receive it.  She hands it back. And, so should we…

If words spoken, are only meant for insult, not to build, grow or transform…if they are only meant to hurt…we should do what my daughter does… push with our hands and mind and say, “Take it, take it, I don’t want to bake it.”

We don’t have to bake in our heart ungodly words deep in our soul. We don’t have to receive kill-words. We don’t have to permit someone’s injury to become ours.

Because then we get hurt and hurt others a similar way.

Instead, we can repent (if necessary) and not accept mean and hurtful words. Take it, take it, we don’t want to bake it!

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths.” (Eph. 4:29)

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

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How is Your Heart?

I’ve been watching the show, The Partner. In this show, Marcus Lemonis, puts many to the test but is selecting one right-hand-man or woman to be his partner. He puts each person through the wringer: he tests their knowledge of financial statements, has them run their own businesses, and places them in high-tension sales situations.

In a different way, God, also, is looking for just the right person…

…will He find you?

For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. (2 Chron. 16:9)

Just as Marcus noticed how his contestants endured under fire, God notices as well. Not with the goal of eliminating us, but much with the same goal – of promoting us.

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. (Lu. 16:10)

Have you considered, the tests God is permitting are because he knows you’ll prove yourself strong, steadfast and worthy to move to greater things? Have you considered – he believes in you? Have you realized – he desires to move you into great and glorious things for his making?

At the end of the show, The Partner, there was 2 woman left: one was a Harvard genius the other was humble and willing to learn.

Marcus chose the second. I believe God often does too.

Where is your heart? Are you willing to learn? Or, are you set in your ways?

Notice: In 2 Chronicles 16:9, God didn’t say his eyes roam the earth for the best person, the wisest or the most qualified, he said he roams the earth to strengthen hearts “fully committed” to him.

To have a heart “fully” committed is to:

  1. Ask God to search your heart.
  2. Be willing to see what needs change.
  3. To be humble enough to consider doing things differently.
  4. To be open to God’s leading as he helps you do things differently.
  5. To recycle, over and over again, items 1-4 above.

I believe, for this person: new doors are opened, their life is changed, and God’s hand blesses them in tremendous ways. Today, check your heart.

 

Kelly’s new book, Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears has been called “A must read,” “Breathtakingly honest” and a “Great Toolbox to Overcome Fear.” Read it today.

Discover how to flee from fear and fly in faith through 4 Days to Fearless Challenge.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.