Author - Christy Mobley

Give Yourself a Little Grace

September 19, 2017

Post by: Christy Mobley

Recently while playing back a Facebook live video I discovered an ugly truth…

I don’t have a chin in my profile view unless I smile.
I stumble when searching for the right words to say.
And I forget to look and mention each person that tuned in—how rude!

As I watch the video again, I think, I should have done better. Silently I resolve never to do another Facebook live video.

The ugly truth? Gasp—It wasn’t perfect. The realization? Ugh, I’m a perfectionist.

Perfectionist: A person who demands perfection of him or herself.

A couple of years ago I would have never called myself out as being a perfectionist because to me, a perfectionist is someone who has to make everything perfect—meaning they accomplish the task. Since I knew I couldn’t make everything just so, I surmised I didn’t fit this description.

But I was wrong.

I do try to make everything perfect but it’s according to my own standards. And I set them pretty high then I beat myself up when I don’t measure up. This often leaves me feeling like I’m good enough.

And that’s sad.

This idea that I shouldn’t ever make a mistake—mess things up, well, it’s paralyzed me and boxed me in for years. It’s kept me from trying new things, from moving forward, from chasing my dreams.

Have you ever felt like this, even partially? If you have and you are like me, you probably don’t know where this need for doing things flawlessly originates.

I believe perfectionism is a scheme of the devil. Another kill, steal and destroy game plan.

It kills our drive. It steals our joy. It destroys our dreams

Satan feeds us lies to keep us stuck. Because when we hold ourselves to this unreachable standard we keep ourselves from taking a next step—from learning.

By God’s divine design we learn by making mistakes—trial and error. If we are scared of goofing up how can be ever move ahead to the great things God has planned for us—our divine destiny—our God-given purpose?

But there is hope. It’s called grace.

And grace looks like Jesus—God’s greatest gift to us.

I am good enough and you are good enough because Jesus was good enough to be the perfect sacrifice for us. Because Jesus took our place on the cross we’ve been made perfect in God’s eyes. No more striving. It’s already been taken care of. By God’s grace it’s been done.

“For by grace you have been saved though faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8 (ESV)

His grace allows us the freedom to be all He intended us to be.

And though I now intellectually know this, I‘ve believed the lies so long its been a slow recovery. But I am recovering. You too?

So let us perfectionist types forge our way forward bravely running head on into mess-ups, blunders, goofs and mistakes, allowing God to refine us through each one. Knowing and believing that as His children, He sees as not only good enough but priceless, blameless and beyond compare. Already perfect.

So give yourself a little grace. God has.

Christy is an award winning writer, national speaker, wife, mother, mother-in-law, and first time grandma! She is passionate about helping women see God working for their good in the midst of their circumstances.
When Christy isn’t with family, speaking or writing, you can find her on the tennis court chasing a fuzzy yellow ball.
You can connect with Christy on her blog, Joying in the Journey, Facebook, and Twitter

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Because Sometimes It’s Not All About Us

June 14, 2017

Christy Mobley

awe, Contentment, control, doubt

6 Comments

Post by: Christy Mobley

I wasn’t sure what happened. One day we were the best of friends and the next… I don’t know, there was this immeasurable distance between us.

For two years my friend and I were inseparable. Our kids played together, we vacationed together with our husbands and now, I couldn’t explain it but something was terribly wrong.

The person I spent hours on the phone with sharing heartbreak and joy, now wouldn’t give me a minute of her time.

After days of chill between us I worked up the nerve to ask her.

“Is something wrong? Is it me?”

As if she had no earthly idea what I was talking about she coyly answered,

“No, I’m good.”

But something wasn’t good. Something was terribly wrong. I felt like I was left alone in the middle of a dance floor. Abandoned.

And then I felt suckered punched. Betrayed.

She knew all my secrets—where my bones were buried.

As the days went on I prayed to God for answers while I tried on my own to figure out what happened. Every morning I woke up with a big fat knot in the pit of my gut while in my head I scoured each word of every conversation we recently had for a clue.

Was it the joke about the gas station, not knowing which grade of gas to choose? I was only teasing her. We joked liked that all the time.

Was she put off because I gave her advice in the gym? But she asked.

There’s nothing quite as devastating as losing a close friend and not knowing what took her from you.

Every day I grew more desperate for answers. I prayed. I waited. I cried. I prayed. I waited. I bawled. I prayed I waited. I wailed! Why wasn’t God answering my prayer? What could be the harm in answering this prayer?

I never stopped to consider it wasn’t all about me.

Eventually the tears dried up and life moved on. Moved on without answers.

And we moved on—my family, away to another city.

In my heart of hearts I knew God knew what happened between my friend and me and that in and of itself gave me peace.

My ex-bestie and I exchanged Christmas cards for a few years and talked few times. But months turned into years and I came to the realization there are some things perhaps God just doesn’t want us to know. Secrets that are to remain hidden.

Several moves and eighteen years later, my husband, David and I attended a wedding for the daughter of another dear friend. At there at the reception across the room between the coconut shrimp and the carving station stood my ex-bestie. It had been years since we’d seen each other.

I walked over and we exchanged hugs and for the next few minutes did what old friends do when they haven’t talked in years. We caught up making small talk about our kids, husbands and nothing. Around the time I thought, that’s that, the conversation took and unanticipated turn.

“Christy” she said, “I need to apologize to you.”

I was truly taken aback. What is this about, I thought?

She went on.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for ruining our friendship—one of the best friendships I’ve ever had. I’m sorry for pulling away. I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time. It wasn’t about you. It was me.”

She went on to explain what had been going on in her heart and why she grew distant. The “what” I didn’t know.

I stood in relief of my 18 year old question and more so marveled at God’s handi-work of the process.

In this hurry-up and fix-it world, we want what we want when we want it. All those many years ago I was hurting and wanted answers.

But God is not as much concerned about time as He is about the timing.
We want a quick fix. He wants to fix hearts.

He wants to heal us.

He wants to change us.

Grow our character to be more in-line with His. And that takes a providential process.

Maybe you’re dealing with an unanswered prayer right now. It could be a broken relationship or maybe it’s something else entirely. I assure you the moment you prayed a plan was laid. Just because you don’t get your answer right away, doesn’t mean it isn’t coming.

Because sometimes it’s not all about us.

“He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times and dates the Father has set by his own authority.'” Acts 1:7

When Christy isn’t with family, speaking or writing, you can find her on the tennis court chasing a fuzzy yellow ball. You can connect with Christy on her blog, Joying in the Journey, Facebook, and Twitter

What it took me to Listen

May 1, 2017

Christy Mobley

approval, awe, Contentment, doubt

2 Comments

Post by: Christy Mobley

I was more than a tad frustrated. But even though I was ticked off, I felt my words were kind and made my point. Impulsive but clever nonetheless.

Well said, I thought.
I went to hit the send button but stopped short. Something felt vaguely familiar about this scene.

I heard a whisper in my heart, Don’t send it.

Hmm, I thought to myself, I haven’t talked to God about this yet have I?

I shut my laptop, pushed it aside and prayed over the email I was about to launch.

You know the saying, sleep on it—give it fresh eyes in the morning. Good advice.

Before I shut my eyes, I asked God, Is this what you would have me send?

There have been times when I’ve heard God whisper and ignored it.  The still small voice—the warning. Some might say, “Oh it’s just our conscience talking” but I’ve learned the difference…the hard way.

I’ve brushed off this heart whisper enough times to know when I do, it can prove painful. One such experience is still branded in my memory like the scar left from a run in with fiery stove.

It concerned another email from years ago. It was innocent really. At least I rationalized it was.
Scripture says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9
And isn’t that what the heart does? It deceives us by telling us lies we believe.

My heart is no different.

There had been a long thread of correspondence within a group I leading. People had been adding to it for days. There was one decision maker with whom I was to consult with and then let the group know the results.

Without thinking, I added my comment to the consultant at the bottom of the ongoing thread instead of starting a new one. My remark was harmless enough, although selfish in nature and could have misconstrued if seen by the wrong eyes. I knew this to be true but again I rationalized, I was getting my point across.  I thought, what’s the harm?

Then I heard it. The moment before I hit send, a whisper ever so softly, gently.
A voice of reason calling out to me to think twice.
Don’t send it.

I brushed aside the delicate call to stop and pushed the button sending my pixellated words into cyberspace permanency.

Sure enough, a certain person in the group who was the curious type scrolled through the multiple threads of conversation and landed on mine. She read through my innocent motive straight to the self-seeking one. She exposed the inner workings of a fallacious heart. And then proceeded to unleash a furry of epic porportion all over the information superhighway.

I was done for. Humiliated. Embarrassed. Scarred for life.
Yes, that about covers it—all the emotional daggers that could impaled me, did.

I hadn’t paid attention to the tension of God’s warning.

Pain however does get our attention. And sometimes God allows it. He knows us better than we know ourselves. Friends, God doesn’t speak to hear His own voice. No, He lovingly will use whatever it takes to protect us from our own undoing.

His voice is not only one of correction but a voice of protection.

  God could have kept this person from exposing me but because she did, I learned to listen. Getting burned on a stove a few times might hurt but it serves to save you from the real fire later.

After praying over my most recent email situation and putting it to a good night’s sleep, I woke afresh with a new attitude knowing what I was to do.

I opened my laptop, looked at the blinking cursor, highlighted the majority of the piece and pushed delete.
I thought, God will take care of it from here.

There have been multiple, “Don’t do its” in between these two experiences and through them I’ve learned to discern His voice better but moreover I’m remembering to ask for it.

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you unsearchable things you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3

Listen and obey. Simple as that.

And when it comes to emails, letters or talk I ask myself daily…

Am I using my words to make a point, or am I using my words to point to Christ?

Enough said.

Looking forward, pressing on and seeking God in every bump ad twist in the road.

Christy a wife, mother, mother-in-law, mentor, and brand new grandma! Her passion is to help women find their joy by experiencing God at work for them in their all their circumstances.

You can connect with Christy at Joying in the Journey, on Facebook, and Twitter.

Go to sleep?…Ur uh, I don’t think So!

January 16, 2017

Christy Mobley

awe, birth, Contentment, fear

4 Comments

It was a Friday morning and I was busily preparing for a surprise weekend getaway I had planned for my husband David, when my cell phone rang. It was hubby. I thought he was calling to tell me about his doctor’s appointment but instead in a bewildered voice he rambled off words that at first seemed nonsensical.

“I just got a call from Mr T. and… Cliff died this morning. Massive heart attack.“

I repeated the sentence several times in my head as if to process the bizarre message, I’m sure I didn’t hear correctly.

You see it couldn’t be true because Cliff, the dear friend and golfing buddy David spoke of was a larger-than-life kind of guy. He wouldn’t just die like that.

But it was true. In the time it takes for a heart to beat, his heart stopped. Forever.

His sudden death made me come face to face with a chilling truth.

I’ve been afraid to die.

It’s not that I don’t know where I’m going.

I do.

I believe with all my heart when I’m done with this earth I’ll see Jesus face to face and live for all eternity with Him.

When friends proudly proclaim, “I’m not afraid of dying” I want so badly to give a, “Yeah, yeah me too!” (High five, fist bump and all that.)

But I don’t. I’m silent.

I hate this fear, it feels so… faithless.

Digging deep, at first I thought it was the process that scares me. I’ve watched my mother and father pass and a few friends. Death ain’t pretty.

However when I honestly brought my contradiction of thought and faith to God, He gently brought to mind something from my past. Something I hadn’t thought of in a long time.

From as early as I can remember, probably about three years of age, my mom would tuck me into bed, turn out the lights and recite this brief prayer.

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord for my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord for my soul to take.

And she wondered why I couldn’t go to sleep…!

I had all but forgotten this nightmarish rhyme.  Though I have no doubt my Episcopalian mother was well-intentioned, I can say with reasonable accuracy, no three-year old understands the meaning of such words. To my little-girl ears they sounded mystical, scary.

I became frightened of this spooky God my mother prayed to Who might choose to take me in the night—stealing me away from my family, my home, my dolls. This life.
Of course I never wanted to shut my eyes. But what was worse, when I kept them open the Jesus-cross that hung by my beside stared at me in the dark with an eerie purple incandescence glow.

This is not at all the God I worship today. The God I know and worship doesn’t desire to scare little children, or anyone for that matter. He’s a gentle Father who promises hope (Jeremiah 29:11) and works all things together for our good (Romans 8:28-29).

However our past often paves the pathways in our future.
Sometimes with bold confidence. But many times with trepidation.
As it’s been in my case.

Has something from your past locked you into a feeling of apprehension, foreboding, phobias or panic?

Don’t allow any fear to steal your freedom. Ask God to unlock the past for you, releasing understanding—clarity.

Now that I can see my past world juxtaposed with my present I believe with God’s help and the power of the Holy Spirit I can dismantle the fears that threaten to unravel me and move forward to living this life as God meant—with abandon…and fist bumps.

You can too.

“I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold to it. But on thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14

***Get a kick-start on a fearless life with Kelly’s book, Fear Fighting.***

Looking forward, pressing on, and seeking God in every bump and twist in the road.

About Christy

Christy is a wife, mother, mother-in-law (soon to be grandmother), mentor, and speaker. Her passion is to encourage women to move forward, and press on while seeking God’s presence in every bump and circumstance they encounter.

Christy is also a girly girl at heart who chases tennis balls for recreation and at the end of the day does her best thinking in the tub.

You can connect with Christy at Joying in the Journey christymobley.com, Twitter, and Facebook.

One Holy Connection

December 19, 2016

Christy Mobley

blessings, Contentment, control, faith

I was recently at a friend’s house with some other gals and the subject of prayer came up.
We all agreed our heart’s desire was to stay in the presence of God more and the best way to do this was through prayer. The Bible tells us to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and that does seem to be the logical way to stay connected because God is always listening. (Psalm 34:15)

But how in the world do we pray without ceasing when our distractions never cease to end?

We talked about food fasting (you can read about this numerous places in the Bible, Luke 2:37, Matt 4:1-11, Mark 1:12-13, Matt 6; 16-18) but the two who were hypo-glycemic (yes I was one of them—I get hangry) nixed the idea. So for that night we went our separate ways with no solution.

The next morning one of my friends texted a brilliant idea on how we could remind ourselves to pray. She didn’t present it as a challenge but being the competitive gal I am I took it as a challenge. A holy one.

She said the phone was her biggest distraction. The plan was, if her phone rang she would answer it (might be one of her kiddos) but if she wanted to look at Facebook, text, Instagram, email, or Google, she would offer up a prayer first.

Fast the phone and feed the prayer.

It was a brilliant idea to me because I pick up my phone like a nicotine addict lights up a cigarette. If I’m bored, nervous, sad, hungry, agitated, frustrated, impatient, or fidgety I pick it up. I thought, if I were to pray before I lit up my phone, others would be blessed and in the process I’d get a blessing of being less bored, sad, agitated, frustrated, impatient and fidgety.
Perks of staying in God’s presence.

It took me a couple of tries to get in the habit but that’s exactly what it became—a habit.

A praying habit.

I prayed while I was driving. I prayed while I was shopping. I prayed while I was exercising. Every time I heard an alert on my phone I prayed or praised God.

And this is what ihappened:

~ I became much more aware of time and space and what I was doing with each. I must have prayed 25-30 times between when I started in the morning and dinner.

~ I felt more connected to God. (But I guess so, we talked a lot!)

~ My attitude and the quality of my day changed. I couldn’t contain my joy and I shared with everyone else what I was doing.

~ And with all this I came to understand a deeper meaning to the verse in Proverbs 3:5-6. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. in all your ways submit to him and he will keep your paths straight.”

That’s exactly what happens when you pray without ceasing. You are in a virtual all day extended conversation with The Almighty, asking Him about your every step.

And this phone thing, it had a pleasant ring. The message began spread.

I shared it with this sweet woman who owns a gift shop I frequent. And about an hour later my friend who unknowingly gave me the challenge walked in the door and the shop owner shared it with her!

I told another girlfriend about it and she told her mother…and so on.

The Holy Spirit sets our hearts a blaze when we pray.

Today I challenge you my friend, if only for a day, to use your phone as a prompt to pray. And share it with someone else. See what a difference it makes in your life and the lives for whom you offer petitions.

And if you choose to take this challenge I will make this guarantee:

When you light up the heavens instead of your phone you’ll not only get better reception but you’ll also get a holy connection every time!

May God bless you as you stay connected to Him.

Looking forward, pressing on and seeking God in every bump and twist in the road.

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Christy is also a girly girl at heart who chases tennis balls for recreation and at the end of the day does her best thinking in the tub.

You can connect with Christy at Joying in the Journey christymobley.com, Twitter, and Facebook.

More Reading:

Peace Restoration Prayer

10 Bible Verses: How Jesus Prayed

What Does Casting Our Cares Even Mean?

Love In Training

September 30, 2016

Christy Mobley

blessings, Contentment, failure, faith, fear, hope

By: Christy Mobley

Today while driving home from a meeting I had a revelation. I’m living on the training grounds for love.

You’ve heard what praying for patience gets you, well I want to explain where praying to love takes you. However, before I got to this place of truth I first had to pass through a few painful phases…

Maybe you’ll be able to relate.

I know it’s hard to believe but not everyone loves/likes me. I’m pretty sure I know a few people who don’t (and some of them may be relations)!

There was a time not so many years ago, if someone said something to me off-putting, unkind or otherwise just plain mean, I would pick up the phone and call my mom or one or two, okay maybe three of my “true” friends (who would side with me) and I’d dice, slice and dissect the cruel words ten different ways until I was worn slap out and tearless. I suppose this kind of talk could be interpreted as gossiping… about myself. And it never truly made me feel better.

This was my phase one.

Finally after exhausting my friends and when I couldn’t solve the mystery of the perpe-“traitor’s” meanness, I might take it to God and dump on Him asking Him to make certain necessary changes in said mean person.

This was my phase two.

Phase three went something like this…

As I grew in my relationship with the Lord, talking to Him (praying) and listening, I started recognizing how He was working in my life. I came to trust Him, really trust Him. That’s when I started taking my hurts to Him first—a big move for me. When I’d be tempted to pick up the phone I’d feel the Spirit nudge me to stop.

I finally did.

This graduated me to the phase three.

As I started aspiring to be more like Jesus, my desire grew to be obedient to His Word in every way, which meant I needed to love like He loves.

A tall order.

I began to pray a specific prayer for each difficult person I came across. A prayer I still pray today and It goes something like this.

Dear Lord, help me to see ______ the way you see them so that I may love them the way you love them.

This phase lasted many years. I thought I was making real progress but I had to go a step further. I needed to recognize my part in the equation. And God waited until I was ready to hear it.

Phase 4…

I came to a place where I would pray to see the hard people the way God saw them and pray to love them the way God loved them but I didn’t want to have to deal with them.

My thoughts would be, away with you hurtful person. I want nothing to do with you. I can pray for you and love you from afar but you can’t hurt me if you can’t get close.

It was after a painful rejection, while I was having this conversation in my head, I heard God say, what makes you any different from them? Do you not treat me at times the same way they treat you?

It was honest, it was convicting and in God’s infinite wisdom, the right time for me to hear and accept this truth.

And the Truth changed my perspective and brought me the next phase and the training ground for love.
Here my eyes can see, these hard people in my life are not part of the problem, they actually provide the solution.

They are the training grounds for love.

“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.”1 Corinthians 1:7

It’s easy is to love those who love us, share with us, give to us? On the other hand, it feels almost contrary to reason, foolish even, to love those who snub us, hate us, ridicule us, whose mouths drip with sarcasm aimed at us.

And yes, if I keep my eyes focused upward on Jesus, I can see these hard people the way He sees them; the way He sees me—a hurting soul in a broken world.

Today I can say it’s an honor to come to this place. The battle ground where I lay my life down for a better one. On the training grounds for love.

What ground are you standing on right now?

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Christy is a girly girl who chases tennis balls for recreation and at the end of the day does her best thinking in the tub.

She’s also a wife, mother, mother-in-law, soon to be grandma, speaker and mentor. Her passion is to encourage women to move forward, and press on while seeking God’s presence in every bump and turn in the road.

You can find Christy at Joying in the Journey, christymobley.com, Twitter, and Facebook

You’re Worth It

June 1, 2016

Christy Mobley

blessings, Contentment, envy, fear, forgiveness

3 Comments

Post by Christy Mobley

She slipped me the invitation under the table so as to not disturb the meeting going on and whispered, “Are you going?”

I read the first few lines and felt the sting. I whispered back, “I wasn’t invited.”

Obviously embarrassed, my friend said, “I’m sorry.”

And with those two words, I suddenly felt less than.

Kate was flipping through her Facebook feed and saw a group of her friends, all smiles, out to dinner. Friends she normally hangs out with. Their comments below the picture were all about the fine food and good company.

Kate was a little bewildered but even more hurt. She thought, Why wasn’t I invited?

Angela had her girlfriends over for their regular prayer meeting, but all three of them said they had to leave early. They had another obligation. She didn’t think much about it and when they left she gathered up her kids to go the local coffee shop. When she arrived, there they were, her prayer group gals, sipping their lattes and laughing with another mutual friend.

Awkward moment.

Angela thought, I wonder why I was left out?

If you’re breathing, I’m sure like me, it’s happened to you sometime in your life—all your friends are off to a happening you didn’t know about, that is, until an innocent one shows you the invitation, or you walk in where you’re not expected, or people forget you’re also part of Facebook.

And you feel crushed. You feel less than. You feel discouraged.

When we’re uninvited though we may never find out the why, I can tell you it’s not because we’re unimportant, lack value, or are less than.

Why should we let our worth be tied up in somebody else’s agenda? Especially when we don’t know their heart and we don’t know the motives behind their actions. I assure you I know being left out is a humbling experience.

And whereas humility is good and keeps us looking upward, discouragement is defeating and keeps us looking inward.

So how do we keep our perspective right when we’re feeling dejected?

We align our perspective with God’s truth.

His Word says we are worthy.

We are made in the very image of God (Genesis 1:26-27).
We are fearfully and wonderfully made ( Psalm 139:13-16).
We are Gods’ own possession chosen for his glory (Ephesians 1:13-14)

The King of Kings and Lord of Lords wants us to dine at His table
and that’s the only invitation we need.

Yes, people will indeed disappoint us, hurt us, overlook us, fail us, and slap us to the ground…

Unintentionally and sometimes on purpose.

But we have a God who never rejects us, overlooks us, or fails us.

Quite the contrary. Our God revives us, pursues us, restores us, and comforts us and never ever stops loving us.

Friends will hurt us and feelings are fickle. But the facts are simple.

God is faithful.

Always.

So just remember when you’ve been slipped that invitation under the table that doesn’t have your name on it, your name is written in a far better place—on the scarred palms of our Savior’s hands.

And He says you are WORTH it.

“See I have engraved you on the palms of my hands…” Isaiah 49:16 NIV

Looking forward, pressing on, seeking God,

Christy

Get all Purposeful Faith blog posts by email – click here.

Christy is a wife, mother, mother-in-law, mentor, speaker, and Life Purpose Coach. She’s also a girly girl who chases tennis balls for recreation and hunts for sharks teeth on the beach. But her greatest passion is to encourage women to move forward and press on, seeking God in the midst of life’s struggles.

You can find Christy at Joying in the Journey, Twitter, and Facebook.