She looked at the girl sitting next to me, and said, “Hey it is so great to see you” and continued on not even giving me the time of day.
Who does that?
Who completely ignores someone when they completely know someone?
Boiling hot, I was about ready to make a primed kettle sound. Wwwhhh….
Someone was going to get burned, and I had a feeling it was going to be me.
In an instant, my mind returned to a time of old,
me, the new girl, trying out for the team,
her, a potential friend that I really enjoyed being with,
all was good, until…
[walk in villian],
her age-old best friend walked in… (dun. dun. dun.)
and whispered to my potential laughing-mate, “Don’t be friends with her.”
Things went cold, I went hot. Wwhhh!!!
Discouraged. Dejected. Demotivated. I lost my athletic swagger.
I was rejected from the team.
I felt rejected by everyone. Wwhhh!!!
Clearly, it was apparent that there was something deeper going on here.
I couldn’t help but think:
Boiling over happens because of past pain that lays under.
Yesterday returns to sear us with the markings of – unwanted today.
The devil is a avid scorcher, using his red trident of age-old shame – time and time again.
He hits us with it – and we almost can’t help it. We jump out of our seat, jump on the person and rip the person apart from the insides out. We say, you won’t mess with me or rule over me or hurt me ever again. Our eyes close, our fists move and our whole will is determined not to live on repeat. Except, when we open our eyes, the person we look at is not the girl on the field, but the thirty year old with two kids and a whole heaping lot of problems just like us.
Hmm…
I want to cut off this record on repeat that won’t stop playing,
“I think I am dumb. I think that is why. People don’t love me. They will always pass by.”
This kind of song makes you live in limbo. It makes you live believing people have one foot in and one foot out. It makes you live expecting the next diss. It makes you live wondering when you will feel hurt again. It makes you wonder if God will be out the door on you too.
Wwhhh!!! It starts to rise in you. You feel like hitting again. Except when you open your eyes you realize who you would be hitting, and you remember – he was already hit.
Then they spit in his face and struck him with their fists. Mt. 26:67
You want to get angry, but as you start to soften your face, you remember:
‘The stone which the builders rejected, this became the chief cornerstone… Mk. 12:10
The stone that keeps the unsteady fabric of beings from falling over.
The stone that was never thrown.
The stone that binds eternal life.
The stone that knows the depth of rejection.
The stone that rose up to build a church that unites hands around the world today.
The stone with a clear purpose, despite the mocks, slanders and accusations of others.
The stone that was raised on high.
The stone that the Father adored.
The stone that seals us as always accepted.
The stone that pursues us and loves us and owns us always and forever and then forevermore.
Kelly. What a great post and a fantastic reminder. Rejection is a big issue for me lately and I really appreciate your experience and wisdom.
” It starts to rise in you. You feel like hitting again. Except when you open your eyes you realize who you would be hitting, and you remember – he was already hit.”
Ah, that awful enemy-driven self-talk! That quite possibly does us a lot more damage than the mean-girl (or mean-boy) rejections or unfounded criticisms from others. Don’t ask me how I know. But I finally got the courage this year to make the new year’s resolution to “Be Kind to Yourself (too)!” and to choose “Kind” as my One Word for 2016, with that resolution in mind. So far, God has been doing wonderful, amazing things with this, which BTW spill over into kindness for others, too. Hope you have a new year full of kindness, including to yourself, too!
I love how you have taken us back to Jesus — we do what we do because he did it, and He is the only one who can empower us to follow in His steps.
Blessings, Kelly, and thanks for speaking truth for the heart today!
Oh Kelly, thank you. Being rejected or hurt or whatever is so hard. Yes we must return back to Jesus. Jesus who loves us unconditionally for we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.”
Oh, Kelly…I know the scene only too well…as a young person and as an older one. BUT…I know Jesus and He never leaves me nor forsakes me. He chose me. He loves me. He is not of this world and nor am I. Oh, to remember that!
Thanks for these fine words for my soul and heart.
Caring through Christ, ~ linda
Thank you for sharing such an honest word. I think that a lot of women deal with feelings of rejection and being dissed (sadly, even in church) and that is where it can hurt the most. The chief cornerstone was rejected…that’s hard to believe, but comforting to know that Jesus knows our hurts and that He always accepts us with a warm greeting and a hug. Makes me want to run into His arms. I’m so glad that I found your post on Susan’s Dance With Jesus. I’m thankful for you. You received my first guest post with open arms. I will never forget that.
Thank you for the boost of encouragement! It’s so much better to plausibly ponder what may be going on in other’s lives, than be so hyper focused on all of my flailing and flaws. There is so much heartbreak that life rushed into our lives, and it’s hard not to let it take hold in thoughts where it just isn’t appropriate. I’m working on snapping myself out of those negative thought cycles before I say, do, or even think something about another sweet child of God that I’ll later remorse over.
Great post!
Happy Saturday!!
Megs
Girl! This. Right. Here? Wow…
Your post takes me back to my growing up years. I’ve learned that there are relationships God wants me to have, and those he doesn’t want me to have – and to trust that “rejection” is maybe the shepherd turning me to the path I need to be on. I’m so very glad he came and pulled us to the inside, not leaving us outsiders!