Not too many days ago, which, if I am completely honest with you – is about once a week – I have one of those pull-out-your-hair types of days.
Most of the time the impetus is my kids, and either some crazy mishap like poo on the floor, water all over the place, cooking extravaganzas gone horribly wrong or something else that is impossible to clean up.
Then I start playing the mole in the hole game as one thing after another pops up to drive me mad:
I start stubbing my toe.
The cabinets look a mess.
I can’t organize worth a small stack of T-bonds.
I needed to throw out everything (about 10 years ago).
I am the worst mom.
I can’t do things well.
Before I know it, I grab my AK-47 and start firing.
Normally the bullets hit my kids first, leaving what I assume are critical care wounds from words like this:
You are not listening.
You are not obeying.
You are frustrating me.
You are going to be punished.
You better do ____, or else!
I don’t want to be around you.
I am leaving you here until you can shape up.
Why can’t you __________?
Perhaps you shoot down your spouse this way too,
this kind of thing has been known to happen.
It’s interesting, isn’t it?
The ones we most love are the ones we most love to shoot.
The ones that are closest always land our stray bullets.
The ones most invested in us are the ones we most often try to rob.
It is as if somehow we know that their belief in us –
is also our greatest risk.
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Prov. 14:1
God’s spiritual inclinations repel from our earthly inclinations.
He’s basically like:
If you have a house, why are you ripping it apart?
If you are building something great, are you really going to be so dumb as to ruin it?
If you are wise, get wise about the words of identity you declare –
they determine the path of the ones you love.
Then, he graciously teaches mom his love and how to speak love.
He says, My Child, watch what I do,
then you will see and know how to speak.
I say things like:
I love you always, no matter how badly you mess up (or how bad your cabinets look).
I want to help you listen and obey.
I am with you and will guide you in the process.
I won’t leave you or push you aside when you fail.
I want to encourage you in all your ways.
If you have questions about my approach, just ask.
I won’t keep reminding you of all you have done wrong.
I love how I made you; I approve of you.
I love watching your small steps of improvement.
I wait for you to be near to me; I love being close to you.
What if I was to talk – like God talks to me?
What if rather than tearing down, I start laying down new bricks of life-long security?
What might that do to a dwelling? To the attitudes inside – and to the mom who feels subpar?
Somehow, I can’t help but think, when we start speaking grace, we start believing it.
Then, when moles sneak out of their holes, rather than believing they are creating dugouts that will sink our house, we remember what we have built. We step back, we see our foundation and we know God’s words and reinforced love made it strong.
We gently hear his voice say: “I will be with you. Just do your best and I will take care of the rest.”
And, things feel okay – and so does everyone else.
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Kelly,
Thanks so much for the reminder that when the creep starts his trash talk and condemnation…I need to think about how God would and does talk to me. I need to hear HIS voice over the clamoring in my head. “Do your best and let God take care of the rest”. Amen. May you have a blessed and joyous Christmas!!
Always,
Bev xx
Let’s shut that creep down. Love that Bev.
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Oh for grace to speak His Grace! I pray for grace especially with my kids, grace to apologize, grace to speak HIS grace to them, and that His grace would heal any wounds I inflict with my words.
I’m so glad we have such a loving heavenly Father who always opens His arms to us.
May we be full of the best for our best! Thanks Betsy.
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Your words could have been written for me. Self-doubt easily takes over and makes us think that all we were able to do the day before is somehow lost and now we are inadequate. Those are never God’s words because he always speaks in love. Even though I don’t ave younger kids at home I understand what it feels like to beat myself up.
I hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas!
I am so glad Mary that they spoke to you. What joy there is to hear this. May we trust and live by God’s grace.
Thank you for words that carry grace to me this morning!
Praise God for this!
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Oh Kelly!
This was a very similar conversation I had in my quiet time, and that verse…Sister, can I be honest? It stings sometimes because I feel like I am needing a constant help line call out to the Contractor.
But then as always you remind us of His grace and the power of grace words and they build sky scrapers that withstand the earthquakes, not easily pulled down. Amen!!
Merry Christmas Kelly!!
I think the fact that we need constant help means that God loves our constant companionship. He IS at work in us.
Yes, we wound those closest to us because we know they won’t leave us, still love us and forgive us. We wound those who are safe to wound. I’m sorry, it wasn’t funny, but I could just see you playing that mole in the hole game. I can so relate-that’s a great analogy. Speak grace and grant grace to yourself, Kelly! Joyous Christmas to you.
Yes! Chasing that dang thang Mary. HA!
Yes! This got me…”What if I was to talk – like God talks to me?” You reminded me of WWJD – What would Jesus do…we need to start a new acronym – WWGS – What would God say!
Merry Christmas Kelly! 🙂
and I really hope that isn’t already an acronym that is inappropriate!
Let’s make the shirts.
We should do that. WWGS. Love it.
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Your words “when we start speaking grace, we start believing it” made me ponder. When we speak and believe grace, then our actions start showing grace, too.
Yes, they do. We start to have a new operating system.
Thank you for your transparency friend. You are not alone. Thank you for pointing us continually to the love and truth of God.
What a phenomenal idea, Kelly! I think we are all guilty of this, but I love how you said we should address them like God addresses us. Hope you have a Merry Christmas, and thanks for hosting 🙂
Kelly,
Merry Christmas! And I can relate to your post about the power of our spoken words to our loved one and to ourselves. Blessings to you and yours 🙂
Waoh! @awesome challenge for me. When am tempted to yell at my hubby and kids, I will think about the ak47 image and how dangerous it can be. Pray that God will help me to put it down and pick love instead. Ur message was meant for me. God bless.