Sometimes I think I act like a fake Christian.
I come on this blog and talk the talk, but then at home, I drop the ball.
I raise my hands to pray, only to turn and go the opposite way.
I say in Jesus’ name, and seconds later, wonder if my name still counts in his book.
I love other people, until it gets inconvenient.
These actions make me feel like an inadequate daughter, a lazy child and a no-good-worthy christian. They make me wonder if Jesus could really love a girl like this?
A girl who is so often just a Christian poser.
While I know Jesus extends me grace (which I gladly receive – in abundance), I still wonder – what rules – the flesh or the Spirit?
I say, “your will be done,” and then say “I don’t know when He will show up.”
I utter, “you have this God,” only to start to worry.
I seek his face, only to come face to face with the fact that he may not be happy with me.I have looked at God in all the wrong way, because he is not:
a “convenient” Sovereign god.
a “genie-in-a-bottle” god.
a “call-in-case-of-emergency” god.
a “I-see-you-from-afar” god.
or a “I’ll-only-love-you-if-your-good” god.
The truth is, the real truth, the I-have-to-cling-to-it truth is: he is the “I-will-always-be-with-you, the I-will never-leave-you, the you-can’t-do-anything-to-make-me-stop-loving-you GOD.
He is the God who doesn’t see me through the face of my mistakes,
but by through the power of his sacrifice.
It’s as if he simply sees through my inadequacies,
straight into the reflection of his heart.
He fully loves. He doesn’t love when all goes well as I am so prone to do – and so prone to expect him to do – but he loves infinitely, incredibly and unduly.
God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ… Eph. 2:4-5
I am not alive to me. I am dead to me. I am alive to Christ.
In this, he doesn’t call me to be put together, he calls me to be broken apart so that he can do his part. His part is creating me into his work of art.
Today, we walk with a work-in-progress sign on, but tomorrow we won’t need a sign. In heaven, all signs will point to the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit – the complete fulfillment of all meaning. Here, God will be faithful to unveil, us, his greatest completed works of art in his perfect glory.
We won’t have to worry about imperfections, inadequacies or incapabilities, because we will be simply in awe of who he made us to be.
God created the earth and that is astounding. Can you even imagine how astounding we will look as God completes his final strokes? A painting is never completely understood until the very end. It will all become clear.
God is the definition of artistry. We never think of him that way, do we?
All of today, are the small workings of his beauty. Rest, my fellow work-in-progress sign carrier, we will one day be completed.
For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. Hebrews 10:14
A HUGE PRAISE:
We just fixed the hacking issue this morning!
Comments have been down for the past week,
but please feel free to comment away!!!
God is good!
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You drew me right in with your first paragraph, Kelly, because oh boy, can I relate! (One thing about blogging is that I’m often reminded of what I wrote in my daily life, and I ask myself, so are you going to live what you write? So convicting) But how wonderful to know that we are works in progress, and one day the beauty he’s creating in us will be complete!
Thank you Betsy! I am so glad that this spoke to you. We can feel so bad sometimes, but I just praise God he is at work in us and through us. What a relief!
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Kelly,
I think we all are constantly asking God, “Why do I do the things I don’t want to do and I don’t do the things I want to do?” The Holy Spirit in us is willing, but our flesh is truly weak. I am so thankful that I can’t do anything to make God stop loving me….when we can wrap our teeny minds around that awesome truth we just begin to see the tip of the iceberg of God’s great love for us – we are washed clean by the blood of Jesus. Thank you so much for the encouragement to cling to that truth!
Blessings,
Bev
We are asking that Bev! How true! I love how you say if we can wrap our minds around that truth, we will see the tiny iceberg of God’s great love. What a great word!
You speak the words of all of us when you write and as hard as it might be to read them because they hit home, they are always just what I need. Thank you for speaking out loud what we need to hear and what is on the hearts of so many. God is using you to teach us that we are imperfect humans but with Him we are able to survive this messy world. Blessings and peace.
It can be hard to acknowledge, and sometimes, easy to live with because we are used to these types of thoughts, but your words are so true. We need Jesus in this imperfect world. Thank you for the comment Mary!
Kelly- This is such a beautifully honest- and encouraging- post. I’m right there with sometimes feeling like a Christian poser. But that kind of thinking reflects a narrow view of God. Thanks for this reminder to step into the truth about how God sees me- so the gospel can become bigger – and so I can rest in His work. Amen!
Thank you Karen. I am so glad that you enjoyed it. It is easy to feel bad and to feel shame. I think the devil has us caught when we start going there. Let’s reside our mind in victory!
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I love that because I am a work in progress God isn’t done with me. It’s only me who expects me to be perfect today. He is happy to see the progress along the way. Cheering you on, Kelly, as we shine for Him today. : ).
Yes Crystal. He is working out some amazing things in you, through you and for you! Praise God for that. Thanks for the good cheer! XOXO
Such truths, sweet friend. I loved your reminder that He works through our brokenness, and is creating something beautiful of our lives. I’m excited for the day when we will finally understand, when we will see the beautiful outcome of the often ugly messes. What a glorious and hopeful thought!
May you be richly blessed this day,
Kamea
Me too! Oh, I can’t wait Kamea! What a day that will be. Thanks for your words sweet friend!
You are completely speaking to where my heart is, so often I feel like a faker and it silences my voice. Thank you for the reminder that we are all on the journey together and we do better to join hands and do it together!
Oh Kaylie, I praise God for this opportunity to be able to speak His words of truth into you. What an honor. Let’s join hands and walk in humble truth!
Kelly, praise God! For your words. For your tenacity in chasing Him. For your vulnerability. Thank you! You are making such headway in our heads for HIS Way.
And praise God that the hacking / spamming is captured. Controlled. By His hand…
Susan
Susan, I am beyond myself! We really thought this thing was done, ruined, over. I thought I would have to rebuild my site, however God is greater. I kept believing he would do it – and he did (with the help of a great technical hacker pro). I am so grateful!
A great big yes to this … ‘ God is the definition of artistry.’
Ah … the Master Designer holds us in His most capable hands. And never lets us go. There’s alot of sweet peace in that knowledge, Kelly. Thank you for your words, your heart, your hospitality early this Tuesday morning!
I praise God for the greatest artist ever. We can rest deep down in his ways! What a relief! Thank you Linda. Thank you for all your love!
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Yay! No weapon (or hacker) formed against you shall prosper! 🙂
I love this:
“The truth is, THE REAL TRUTH, the I-have-to-cling-to-it truth is: he is the “I-will-always-be-with-you, the I-will never-leave-you, the you-can’t-do-anything-to-make-me-stop-loving-you GOD.”
That is the REAL TRUTH we all need to hold on to every day!
Much love to you!
Keep shining!!
Love Danise
Thank you sweet Danise. Greater is he than he who is in the world. We celebrate that today!
My schedule has been so hectic that I haven’t been able to link up for a couple of weeks now. But, oh how glad I am to be back today! Kelly, I have missed your kind heart, GODLY wisdom, and powerful truths! Amazing post, sweet friend! Praying love and blessings over you, always! Love you! 🙂
Tai, we have missed you. But, I am delighted that you are here this week. You are always a joy to hear from. I thank God for you and all he created you to be.
Amen and amen! We put so much pressure and high expectation on ourselves, when really this is all a work of Christ.
All God, all the time! Amen Samantha!
Kelly, so grateful that we are a continuous work in progress until God calls us home. And His grace is sufficient and covers us each & every day. Always good to join you here!
Yes, he has us and won’t quit his work on us. Praise God for that!
I try to make God all of those crazy little gods every time I lose sight of His power and purpose for my life. Guilty I am! I love your honesty this week Kelly and I’m glad your website is straightened out! Much love.
Exactly Meg! Those little gods can come out of nowhere can’t they? Before we know it, we’ve gotten ourself stuck. Thank you for joining me in the excitement of my blog posts being back up!
Wahoo- thank you God! Rejoicing with you that the issue is fixed, so glad. Great post Kelly, I am sure many can relate…ha- Definitely me!
Thank you God! I know. I am beyond happy. I didn’t think this was going to happen and I thought I would have to rebuild the whole site. God is a great RESTORER!
This replicates a conversation I had with the Lord this morning, and last evening, and…. 🙂
I love the way you remind us to see through the eyes of the artisan. We can’t always know till we see the full picture, but He does. HE sees our end from our beginning and calls us His own, blesses and favored and He is trustworthy and faithful. And it will be ok.
I needed your words today. Thank you.
♡ Dawn
He does see. I praise God he sees. We are so loved Dawn. If only we can actually believe it. I am also grateful that these words spoke into a place where you needed his love. How awesome is our God?!
This is beautiful, Kelly. Thank you for sharing what so many of us also feel all too often. I’m thankful that God doesn’t discard or forget about His partially-finished “projects” like I’m prone to do. (I’m also grateful He doesn’t view me us a “projects,” either!) I’m so glad your blog is working well again. What you do here is important and valuable!
“…he loves infinitely, incredibly and unduly.” Indeed He does! So thankful for your words of encouragement today. Also, I’m really thankful the site is working like it should. Praise God!
Stephanie, I am so thankful too. I couldn’t believe it almost all had to come down. I just praise God that he is the KING OF RESTORATION! Wow. He humbles me.
I am so glad He is working in our lives even if we don’t feel much like works of art. I’m thankful that my worth doesn’t depend on how I feel. Thank you for the reminder that we are all works in progress. The Master Artist doesn’t make mistakes, and we are His workmanship. Blessings to you today! Glad you got the blog problem solved.
He is working out some beauty, some eyes-wide-open shock at his piece. He is going to blow our minds – I just know it! Blessings to you Gayl. Love hearing from you!
Kelly, you spoke my heart and my mind with your very first sentence. Every time I feel like I am making huge strides in my faith, I feel like I take tremendous fall into the pit of self, my way, my desires, my lack of faith. The past few days I have felt like such a fraud myself, speaking and writing of God’s great love and urging others to trust in Him; when I myself fell tremendously. Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for the reminder that while we were dead in our transgressions, Christ still loved us enough to die for us. I cannot tell you how much I needed this today. Thanks for being transparent and allowing Christ to use you as a vessel to speak to those of us who feel like fakes, too.
I am so glad you wrote this Julie. I am so glad you visited today. Your blatant authenticity is what we all crave. I love that we are both vessels for his glory. I am so glad I met you right now. Please, promise me you will come back. I love your words!
Praising God for victory against the hackers and for this —> “We won’t have to worry about imperfections, inadequacies or incapabilities, because we will be simply in awe of who he made us to be.” Those words, that longing in my heart, convinces me all the more that this is not our home. Looking forward to that day and leaning fully into grace until then. Blessings to you, dear Kelly – you are a conqueror!
Thank you Tiffany for celebrating the victory of Jesus, that has SO already been won! Much love to you!
“Poser”
First-great 80’s word, second- it says it all. Praise. God. It all depends on HIM! All of it!!
Good stuff my friend! {{HUGS}}
Excuse me but did you say “hacker?”
Anyone trying to hack ir hijack gospel teaching needs it! Lord help whoever was responsible! Open their eyes to see YOU! Amen.
Amen! Great prayer my sweet Christy! Love your words right now. May they see the all-surpassing glory of the most high King. Let’s be ok with being posers, recognizing we are being renewed in Christ.
So glad you’re back up and running bug free 🙂 Great post today – I am so with you on this one. I expect myself to function as the finished product and it’s great to remember I’m not there yet!
We are not there, but we will be soon! I can’t wait for that day. We will join hands Tania and dance away!
Thank you for comforting my heart this morning, Kelly. This is such a beautiful account of God’s precious, unconditional love. I also love the thought that we are art works-in-progress. Just to imagine Jesus painting stroke by gentle stroke of our lives is so encouraging. We may sometimes see only a mess, but He sees a beautiful work of art. 🙂
I’m so glad the hacking problem is fixed! God be with you and give you peace! Hugs!
God knows what our final picture looks like. He makes us all beautiful in the end. Our job is to rest in his drawing process. I am comforted too, but the ultimate Picasso!
So thankful the He’s not done with me yet! And He will complete His work in me! Also incredibly thankful that your blog and this link is up and running! Victory in Jesus!
VIC.TOR.EEEEE!!!! We are overcomers in Christ Jesus. He brought me through. Thank you for cheering this truth with me Ellen! Much love to you!
Thank you for this beautifully honest post, Kelly! I can definitely relate to: “I come on this blog and talk the talk, but then at home, I drop the ball.” As writers, it’s easy to forget to apply the things we inspire others to do to our own lives. Personally, I have to constantly make a point to re-read what I have written to ensure I’m living out what I write about!
Yes Lauren. That is so wise. So many times, when I write, I am preaching a sermon to myself. I learn through the process.
Your beautiful message makes me want to cooperate with Him all the more to allow the many brush strokes to complete the picture! Thank you for hosting.
Yes, he is at work to create a jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring portrait of love in you!
My guess is that we can all be “posers” or “Christian fakes” at one point or another through the day, week,or year. I’m with you. You and I? We’ve been to similar places, Kelly. But Jesus. I thank the Lord for His strength, for his love, both of which set us straight on his path. Happy to hear the hacking issue is resolved. Wow! That one was a toughie, eh? Praise the Lord, indeed. xo
It was SO hard Kristi! SO hard. It was like seeing a family member die. This may sound extreme, but I have poured my heart out here. I think you get it. I am glad I kept seeking to trust God to make things right though. Jesus has us. No matter how we act, he has us. Thank you Kristi!
Praise God for working through these issues with your site! I am so thankful, Kelly. This post truly resonates with me, as this same topic has been on my heart. I, too, feel like a fake Christian sometimes. Thank you, Jesus, for not being finished with me yet and promising to finish the work you started in me. I hold on to that promise each day. Love you, friend.
Let’s hold on to it! I am sure the devil would love to have a field day with us if we don’t. Thank you Abby! Much love to you sweet friend.
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We are all works in progress and in our imperfections being healed, restored, redeemed so that one day, when we look in the face of the Perfect One, we will be complete…And Kelly I love how you so openly share your heart about your own struggles, which are common to us all. God honors humility and we are never failures so long as we keep getting up again and continue to fight the good fight, even when we may be our own worst enemy!! God loves you dearly, sweet friend. All is good…PS I wasn’t around online much last week as I sorted through some things pertaining to my writing and calling so I missed that you got hacked. So sorry you had to go through that but glad you are here!! Hugs and blessings…
Yes, Sheila, it was really hard to go through that and the timing has been inopportune, however God knows best and he brought me through it. I praise God for that. Thank you for your sympathy. 😉 I praise God that he is always at work on us. He loves us so much!
Thank you for being real. It is so easy to “look” like we have it all together. But none of us really does. It sure is nice to know that I’m not alone in my struggles.
Thank you for sharing!
Thank you Dana. We are all struggling in different ways, but God rushes in to help us walk right through our biggest barriers. I love being real – so much better than the alternative! 😉
Your words are a blessing to me today. They seem to be those absolutely just-in-time words. I felt a calm as I read today, Kelly. I have felt the struggle of perfection and just this morning picked up my not-yet-read copy of “Love Idol.” I think that your words were extra confirmation in the direction my study needs to go.
Loved this especially – “In this, he doesn’t call me to be put together, he calls me to be broken apart so that he can do his part. His part is creating me into his work of art.”
Oh Kelly, these kinds of comments are what make my blood pump just a little faster. They breathe life right in. To be able to speak to you, Kelly, at your time of need is such a gift. I love being used by God! I praise God for speaking right into the place where you needed it. Thank you for humbly sharing this with me. I feel beyond blessed to have had this opportunity. I am praying God just loves on you mightily right now and in all the places where you may feel weak. I understand how it is…
So glad the comments are back up! Wahoo! Thank you, God! LOVED this line: “It’s as if he simply sees through my inadequacies, straight into the reflection of his heart.”
We can’t imagine how amazing God is because we are not that amazing to each other as humans. We may try, and with His strength, we can be amazing, but we let each other down and put conditions on things. I can’t wait till we can see Him in all His glory…because we may be growing in “getting it,” but so much is still just a beautiful mystery of how a holy God could come down to love us the way He does. Blessings from #EspressosofFaith!
Blessings, Kelly. Thanks for always encourage and cheer up our hearts!
W/Love,
Tayrina from TGAWrites
You bet! It is such a joy to do so! 😉
Kelly,
As I was reading your blog post the song ‘He Knows My Name’ by Francesca Battistelli was singing in my head. I’ve heard this song numerous times and love it, but it wasn’t until tonight I found this video on YouTube. I hope it blesses you the way your blog continues to bless so many.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYpBgJHmGmw
Blessings,
Stacey
Stacey,
Thank you so much! I love that song. It is a great one. That is simply the bottom line and all the rest of the blanks are filled in. Thank you so much for sending this to me. I hope you have a blessed day!
So glad to see you back up friend! Your words are always full of such truth and honesty. I think we all feel this way at some time or another. I also think it is so important for us to talk about how we feel. Working at a church I don’t want them to see me as perfect but I am in no WAY perfect. I want them to know that God’s grace is sufficient. These words really spoke to me today: “We won’t have to worry about imperfections, inadequacies or incapabilities, because we will be simply in awe of who he made us to be.” Thanks again Kelly.
Tara, thank you for your words. I think it takes the pressure off everyone when we see ourselves as low-level sinners in need of a high-level Savior. You know what I mean? I love your transparency in your reply. It can be so easy to think we have to show ourselves perfect. Trust me, I know.
Beautiful. I have been feeling this exact condemnation lately. I can let the Spirit take over and write something beautiful on my blog and then turn right around and fail miserably in life. Thank you so much for your transparency and the reminder that I’m a work in progress (and so is my family for that matter, lol!)
Blessings,
Tiffany
Thank you Tiffany. When we feel condemnation, we know it is not from God. I know that feeling. Thanks for sharing how this blog has impacted you. I pray we can both walk in God’s love.
This so resonates with me. I want from God so much. I feel guilty. I know though I love Him no matter what. He doesn’t have to give me anything else. I will love Him no matter what. But then I need Him to solve this issue or that issue. It is hard this walk of faith. Thanks for sharing.
I get you Mary. You should check out my post today. Much of what you say resonates with me. I really appreciate you sharing this because it can be easy to pull from Jesus. I hope and pray he guides you in all your ways (I pray that over myself too!).
This is so good to read….not that I want any of us to feel this way but it’s nice to know I am not the only one. Thank you for being real!
Blessings
Yes, you are not the only one. It can be easy to feel this way. God sees deeper than your feelings though. Praise him for that.