Purposeful Faith

Weak and Humble – Changes Families

Weak and Humble

I had it all wrong. I always thought family was this ship you had to keep moving in the right direction. One that all crew members needed to approach in tandem, knowing their role and pushing through to the next destination. With this, I figured, it was my job as mom to run a tight ship.

Efficiency was key: Get those shoes on and be in the car by the time I get out of the bathroom.
Rules were paramount: I set the guidelines, you follow them.
My authority reigned: Don’t question, just obey or else!
My voice counted: Don’t express opinions, just express a head nod and move that dish to the dishwasher.

I don’t know when I turned into such a jerk. In the moment, there is always a way to justify it (how else are you going to get things done, the kids won’t respect you, the house will be a mess, perfection will sink into oblivion). Somehow family, for me, turned into a model-toy that I was carefully constructing according to instructions, schedules and guidelines. All parts were required to fit within my needs. I moved them according to my desires.

With this knowledge, my heart has been on a journey to change course; it is pursuing a redirect. Just the other day, my son looked at me to say, “Mom, that’s a mean voice.” My initial response was to say, “Son, that is not mean. If you want to hear mean, I could really show you mean.”

But, if I am going a new path that means I have to try new things. I looked at him and said, “You thought that was mean?” His head nodded.

What he thought was mean, I thought was on level 2 of my stern-voice scale, but still, I was trying and trying counts for something, so I tried some more.

“I am sorry. I will speak nicer, son.”

The day progressed and so did my heart. A heart just trying – trying to be calm, to be present, to be aware, to be humble, to be eager to love, and quick to let go of to-do’s. By days end, I felt shipwrecked, but what happened next brought buoyancy back.

At story time, this 4-year old outer-space pajama clad kid looked up at me to say, “Mommy, I am sorry too for all the mean things I have been speaking to you.”

And, there it was, what seemed like galaxy of distance, came together in a meteor crash of sense. He is just the same as me. He feels the same too. We are in this together.

Family united, rather than divided.

What I build in myself, I build in him.
What I forge around me, will be forged around him too.
What I lay down, he will have permission to lay down as well.
What is hard to do, we can try to do as one

At days end, I don’t want to give him me as I am today. I want to give him full of grace, sailing with mercy, loaded with compassion, flying with patience. I want him to have all of that. I want more for that beauty. And, in a way, in this day, I gave him a small ride towards this. And, one day – counts. It counts for something; I will take that and own that and relish in that.

Small beginnings matter.

When I simply understand, when I take a minute, when I sit down, when I listen, when I confess, when I become humble, the family makes strides towards godliness. Together we move ahead, not to my pre-set plans, but to God’s pre-set sanctification. We move towards what is greatest, rather than what I deem as great.

Jesus relates to me when I am weak. He sympathizes with that kind of thing. He says, that testing you are going through, me too Kelly, me too.

We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality.
He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin.
So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give.
Take the mercy, accept the help.
Heb. 4:15 MSG

What will we choose in the rapid-fire moments of “family”?

​Will we choose to to take a stand in our ways or
will we choose to stand in God’s mercy?

Will we accept his help or will we drive the helpers?

Will we chart a course or will we enjoy the ride?

The second we set down the burden of pride set upon our shoulders of despair is the second we rise up in the freedom of surrender that finds itself in the shadow of the eagles wing.  Work falls to the wayside and we see things from new heights, with new vision and new hope. We soar. We let go. We glide. We ride.

“What a relief,” we say,
“We never knew it could be this easy!”

And we sail.

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Is. 40:31

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purposefulfaith

Kelly, a fun-loving, active and spunky mom of two rambunctious toddlers, spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers and pursuing the Lord with all her heart. Called a "Cheerleader of Faith", Kelly's greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully and unencumbered for the Lord.

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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Kelly,
    I loved you humility, your honesty, and the candid interaction with your son. The points you made today are awesome.
    God bless you. And keep us posted on any books you plan to write. Your. Spirit-filled observations and Godly and awesome.
    JS Fer

  • Grace….we all need it, therefore we all should give it. Over the years I have had to learn to alter my way of speaking so that it contained more grace and less condemnation. So thankful that Jesus is patient with me.

  • Wow, goodness…thanks so much for writing this. Thanks for hitting me square in the eye in so many ways, and lovingly bandaging me up. Thanks be to God for Loving us so hard, but respecting us so much, that He tells us things that gently yet directly hit our heart. I want to be a perfect mom, but I have to give that up. When I make mistakes my kids get a chance to see repentance in action. Making mistakes keeps us humble. Keeping humble keeps us kind. I don’t want to blow this Parenthood thing, but at the same time I am encouraged that The Parent will show me the ropes, all the way Home.
    Love to you and your family from Holland, thanks again,
    Jasmine (nr. 70 on the FiveMinuteFriday-Same linkup)

  • Kelly, I love these grace strides you are taking with your family. I, too, am trying to be more present, more patient and humble. We are in this together, friend. Beautiful, grace filled words. So glad I stopped here today.

  • Hey Kelly,

    I love your honesty & passion for Christ!

    “The day progressed and so did my heart. A heart just trying – trying to be calm, to be present, to be aware, to be humble, to be eager to love, and quick to let go of to-do’s.”

    This is such a great line, & us dads feel this way too at times 🙂 It’s great to connect with other messy, imperfect, Christ-followers, who are learning, growing, & striving to reflect His love at home. Thanks for the encouraging post!

  • […] sister in the Lord posted these words: “At days end, I don’t want to give him me as I am today. I want to give him full of grace, sailing…They hit me with the emotional force of a Tractor Trailer grossing 120,000 pounds at freeway […]

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